This Is Not My Life
by IsaKassees
Summary: Follow Bella as she tries to survive a madman's abduction and keep a stranger's child from succumbing to his wild fantasies, and follow Edward as he tries to stay sane searching for his daughter taken right before his eyes.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all.**

**A/N: This is my first foray into writing fanfic. Constructive criticism is welcome, I'm always looking on how to improve my writing. I will try to be updating at least once a week. Many many many thanks to EdwardsBloodType for her help beta'ing for me! If you haven't read her fics I'll Be Your Lover, Too, or her current one High Anxiety, then I just don't know what you're doing with your time. So after you read this and review, hop over to my favorites and check those stories out!**

This Is Not My Life

Chapter 1: Prologue

EPOV

"Lily, did you have fun with Nana Esme today?" I looked in the rearview mirror at my little princess who was bouncing with an excitement she must have inherited from her Aunt Ali.

"OOOH Yes Daddy, we had so much fun we played outside in the morning with chalk and bubbles and then I decided to make yucky soup in the mud and then I found a roly poly and I gave him a hug but I think I hugged him too tight because then he didn't move anymore but then I found a ladybug and Nana Esme told me that you can get ladybug farms and keep them for pets and so I want to ask Santa for a ladybug farm for Christmas or is my birthday coming before Christmas because then I will just ask you or Nana Esme or Papaw Carlisle or Aunt Ali or Uncle Jazz or Aunt Rose or Uncle Em-"

She paused to take her first breath since she opened her mouth and I took the opportunity to jump in before that continued. I swear one of these days she was going to pass out trying to tell me about her day. But this was truthfully my favorite part of the day, hearing about hers. I hated having to leave for such long hours while I was at the hospital, but as soon as my residency was finished, I planned on starting up a private practice where I could work more reasonable hours. The hardest part of my day was driving away from her.

"Lily, your birthday will be coming up before Christmas, because it's July, and your birthday is September 25th, so I will make sure to put a ladybug farm on your wish list, okay, Princess? We need to stop at the store on the way home, okay?" The silliest question to ask, really, the child loved the grocery store. I swear she was going to be a chef when she grew up. I loved having her help put meals together and cook dinner every night. It was our thing that we always did on nights when I was off in time for dinner.

"What are we making tonight little chef?"

"P'sghettis please, Daddy. Ooh and I want to make a salad and garlic bread to go with it okay, Daddy?" She told rather than asked me, knowing she was the menu maker in the house. In so many ways she was growing up too fast, but I _loved_ that she still couldn't say spaghetti right. I'd probably cry the day she did.

"P'sghettis it is, Princess. Remember to stay close and keep your hand on the cart, or you go in alright?" I reminded her.

"I know daddy," she sighed at me. I could almost _hear _the eye roll.

I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store and grabbed the first spot I could. I'd never understood the need to circle a parking lot for fifteen minutes searching for a space that saved maybe 10 feet of walking distance. I unbuckled her booster and hoisted her up onto my hip to walk into the store. She wriggled out of my arms as soon as we were inside and helped me pull a cart into the store. We walked straight to the back of the store and worked our way to the front, going aisle through aisle collecting all the necessary ingredients for tonight's dinner, chatting more about her day as we shopped.

We finally made our way to the front of the store in the produce section, and I was selecting some tomatoes for our salad when she exclaimed, "Daddy! I almost forgot. We're out of apples my new favorite fruit is apples! Can I go pick some up, they're right there at the end of the lane?" She pulled out the puppy dog eyes and batted her lashes, while sticking her bottom lip out just a tad. My god, she had to stop hanging out with Alice so much.

"Yes sweetie, but you stay right there and don't even think about walking around the corner where I can't see you, alright?" I gave her my best stern look, complete with the arched eyebrow. I learned that one from my mom, and hey, if she was going to pull out the big guns, so was I.

She nodded her head emphatically agreeing with me and skipped over to the apple display, and I saw it happen in my mind a split second before it actually did. A huge pyramid of apples balancing precariously on top of each other was just asking for my daughter to pull from the bottom causing the ENTIRE display to come crashing and rolling around her.

At that exact moment, a woman came walking around the corner, feet first into the avalanche walking straight into Lily. Her feet went right out from underneath her and Lily fell on top of her while apples continued to fall all around them.

I probably stood there gaping for a full second before I sprang into action, jumping over to them in a leap but still unsure of exactly what to do or say to this poor woman or my daughter who appeared to be sobbing into the woman's shirt clinging on for dear life. The woman had her eyes shut tightly and seemed to be shaking slightly as well, and I worried I might soon be dealing with a very upset stranger… until all of sudden I heard a giggle burst out, followed by a snort and another giggle. Was she laughing?

Before I could blink, they both burst out laughing. Lily was still lying on top of this woman who was flat on her back in the produce section.

It was a nice grocery store in a good part of town, but I'd never in my life seen a woman fall to the ground who didn't immediately start shrieking. But there they were, with tears of laughter streaming down their faces pointing at what used to be an impressive pile of apples, laughing hysterically and gasping for air for several minutes before I finally cleared my throat to remind them of my presence.

The woman looked over at me then, flushed in the face from laughing so hard and grinning from ear to ear. She tilted her head and said, "Excuse me, but did you happen to lose a giggle monster? Because I seem to have found one that landed on my lap and I'm sure her owner is very eager to find her. I hear giggle monsters like apples, but I wouldn't recommend the granny smiths. They seem to out of stock at the moment." At this, Lily broke out into hysterics all over again as she scrambled off the woman and started trying to stand up amongst the apples surrounding them.

I was so dumbfounded at this stranger, who had my daughter laughing harder than I'd ever heard, when same said daughter had knocked the wind out of her and made her fall onto a filthy floor, and was just _joking_ about it, like there was no other natural reaction.

I was in such a daze that I didn't even offer my hand to help her up, until I saw her start to rise and stumble over some of the apples under her feet. I reached over and grabbed onto her left elbow while my other hand instinctively went around her waist to steady her, and I finally got a good look at her up close. And _my__ god_ was she pretty.

No fuck that… _beautiful._

Like the natural kind of beauty, with big brown doe eyes and pale porcelain skin, with a gorgeous blush in her cheeks from all her laughter, and big full lips that smelled like cherries.

_Wait how can I smell her lips?_

_Oh shit… I am standing way too close to this woman. And I've still got my arms wrapped around her!_

I jumped back quickly and looked down at my daughter who was gaping at me, mouth open, probably wondering when her daddy's brain died and why he was groping at strangers in the supermarket. I glanced back up at the woman-_ I really need to find out her name_- and she was looking at me with her eyebrows raised …but at least she wasn't beating me with her handbag yet. She just stood there staring at me, until she shook her head a bit, and blushed anew.

She knelt down next to Lily, and introduced herself. "Hi! I'm Bella. I think we should probably start picking up some of these apples don't you?"

Lily giggled out a little, "Yeah," and they started picking up the apples and placing them back onto the shelf.

I finally snapped out of the trance I was in, and stuttered out quickly, "Let me just grab my cart and I'll come help pick them up. Miss, you really don't have to help, you didn't cause this mess." I didn't want to call her by her first name, since she hadn't introduced herself to me, but wow, I really wanted the chance to say it.

_Bella_. Beautiful.

She didn't even look up, scoffing, "Please. The great apple avalanche of 2009 has been the most exciting part of my day; I haven't laughed that hard since...ever." At that, she glanced up at me, smiling slightly, and I looked away quickly, because apparently looking into this woman's eyes took away my ability to have coherent thought process.

I walked to my cart to push it back over them. As I reached it, I heard a sound that would haunt my memory for the rest of my life. I heard my Lily scream and then a gunshot rang out followed by complete silence. I whipped around to save my little girl from I don't know fucking what, and what I saw made me freeze.

A man, with stringy blond hair, and cold gray eyes had a gun pointed at my baby girl and Bella.


	2. Chapter 2 His Story

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all.**

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, favorites, and story alerts! I appreciate it so much, and I will always try to reply to your reviews. Now that I know somebody besides me will actually be reading this, I just want to say that this story will take a while before there is a crossover from Edward to Bella's storylines. That's why it's called angst people. I have absolutely no idea how long it will be, but I promise I will not abandon it. I will put out the chapters as fast as possible, at least one a week. And I'm going to wave my caution flag just this once and let you know that this story will get DARK before it gets light, but I'm a firm believer in the happily ever after, because if I wanted a sad ending I would just watch the news. It will earn its M rating in due time, so if you like my story thank you, but don't get mad when shit starts flying. Thank you all for reading so so much. Fic rec's at the bottom. Future A/N's will not be essays like this I promise. ;P**

Chapter 2: His Story

EPOV

Five o'clock. _Fucking finally._

I had been ready for this day to be over since it started this morning. Living in Seattle, I was used to gray, cloudy, overcast days. But it was _fucking pouring_ this morning, and I just wanted to curl up under my covers with my very sweet and sleepy daughter and not get up for a day. But I didn't have that option, because I was pretty sure using the rain as an excuse to call in sick really wouldn't fly with the Chief of Medicine. Even if the Chief does play golf with my dad on a weekly basis.

So I got my ass out of bed and managed to stub my toe twice on my way to the shower, cut myself shaving, and step on a Barbie shoe all before breakfast. Awesome start.

My four year old daughter Lily, apparently had the same views on sleeping in this morning that I originally did, because it took me fifteen minutes just to get her out of bed, and she decided to play 'limp noodle' while I dressed her. She was really trying to make things easier for me today.

I managed to get her to my parent's house without further incident, and not for the first time, did I wish there was someone at my home to be with her. Not her actual mother…_god no_, that was a mess I was glad to have cut from my life.

I still didn't know how I was going to tell Lily one day about her mom. She'd asked about her before, and I had managed to put her off for the most part for now, but I knew that wouldn't last forever.

How did you tell your child that her own mother didn't want her? I could only hope she never found out how I had to beg and plead with Tanya to not have an abortion, promising her anything under the sun, as long as she just gave me that baby.

I never loved Tanya, and she sure as shit never loved me, but the day she told me she was pregnant, I felt like the world just made sense. It was unplanned and fucking horrible timing, seeing as I was only halfway through medical school, but the absolute joy and automatic pride I felt at being somebody's _father_ just blew my mind. And I learned my protective side developed rather fucking quickly as the next words out of her mouth were demanding that I pay for the abortion.

I quite fucking literally _saw red_. I flat out refused, and we hammered out a financial and legal agreement which had me paying for her living and medical expenses for the next year, with the understanding that she would walk away after the birth obligation free. That was definitely not the way I envisioned waiting for my firstborn child, what with angry phone calls at all hours of the day demanding the most ridiculous food cravings. (At one point I actually ordered chocolate directly from Switzerland, and this weird sponge cake that is made in Germany but only sold in Japan for some unknown reason).

I paid for thousands of dollars in designer maternity clothes all designed to make her look as least pregnant as possible, because as far as Tanya was concerned, it was the most disgusting thing on the planet. She was actually a very pretty woman, or at least she would have been if her soul wasn't a black vacuum of all things good that destroyed all outer beauty. When we were dating she was high maintenance to be sure, but she wasn't this vindictive manipulator I came to know as the _real _Tanya. She could hide her true nature fairly well when it worked to her advantage, but once she had me by the balls, the tiger showed its true stripes…

And brought out the fucking claws. Jesus.

She completely refused to let me take any pictures of her stomach, or touch it in any way. She demanded a 'post-partum' shower, where I paid for her and her collection of equally vapid and shallow pit of vipers to gather around her and lament her condition, while giving her gifts she could use once she was, and I quote, "rid of this fucking thing."

They gave her gift certificates for personal trainers, treatments to the med-spa, bottles upon bottles of liquor, and quite the assortment of diet pills. My family ended up throwing me a baby shower once we found it was going to be a girl, and I got to celebrate and start putting together my little princess's nursery. It was slightly emasculating to sit in a room full of finger foods and diaper cakes (if you ever met my sister Alice you'd understand) in a fucking sea of pink and lace, but I was just so fucking excited that I was going to be a dad.

The day she was born was the best day of my life.

Tanya had a scheduled C-section, because she had apparently been able to fuck a plastic surgeon into agreeing to give her a tummy tuck after she delivered the baby.

I didn't fucking care. The second my baby was out and wrapped up, the nurses handed her to me and I was _complete_. She opened up her little gray eyes and looked right into mine, and I was hooked. I already knew the answer, but just to be nice, I asked Tanya if she wanted to hold her, and she didn't even look up at me to tell me to "Get fucking real Edward. That's your baby, not mine."

So I walked away and never looked back at her. After the forty-eight hour grace period was up, I sent in my family's lawyer, who was a fucking shark by the way, and she signed away all rights to my daughter, Lily Autumn Cullen. Tanya's loss, not ours.

My daughter was beyond loved by myself and every single member of my family. She was lacking for nothing in the affection and devotion department. And I could lie and say I was an absolutely perfect father, who never yelled or put on a movie so I could get some quiet, but I did.

And I could lie and say I never got frustrated when it took us almost two months of crying and gas and colic to find a formula that didn't hurt her stomach but there were days when I would cry into my pillow when she woke up for the third time in the night wailing.

I could lie and say I was perfectly content doing this on my own, not that I really was on my own. My mother was like a mother to Lily, but she was not actually a mother to her. And I was not content like this. My daughter was my favorite person on the planet, but I got lonely.

I hated sounding like a chick, but it wasn't even about sex. Granted, I would fucking love to have access to sex on a regular basis, but what I really ached for is a companion. Somebody to do this with, raise my little girl with me as her own… I wanted a partner.

I learned my lesson with Tanya, and decided way back when that I would not have sex with any woman I couldn't see myself having a child with. Because my daughter was living proof that condoms were most definitely _not_ 100% effective. And while I wouldn't trade my daughter for the world, I would never want to have to go through another situation like this one. Ever.

So it was safe to say I was in a bit of a dry spell. My sweet sister, god bless her, had tried to set me up on a couple of dates in the last few years, but those were complete busts. My brother Emmett thought I needed to loosen up and stop being so picky, but how was I supposed to not be picky? Every woman I went out with wasn't just a possible future significant other for me, but for Lily as well. I was not mommy hunting, but I was not about to get invested in a relationship that couldn't end well for all parties included. And Lily was always included.

_Ugh, thinking about this shit is never a good way to start my day._

It didn't get much better, since the rain caused quite a few accidents and I was currently in the ER for this part of my residency. You'd think living in Seattle, people could figure out how to navigate in wet weather, but people were really fucking stupid sometimes.

I spent the day lecturing patients on the importance of not trying to text while driving on a bridge in the rain, helping elderly patients read their prescription bottles correctly, (analgesic does not mean what it sounds like), getting thrown up on by the occasional sick child, and borderline sexually harassed by Nurse Mallory.

The woman was a menace really, but my mind couldn't even go there right now, because it was five o'clock, which meant it was time for me to go pick up my baby from my mom. As long as traffic wasn't too bad we should have plenty of time to hit the grocery store on the way home to pick up food for dinner. And maybe a couple of Heineken for Daddy after Lily was tucked into bed.

**Fic Rec's:**

**Emancipation Proclamation**

**Master of the Universe**

**Clipped Wings and Inked Armour**

**Shadowboxer**

**They're awesome!**


	3. Chapter 3 Her Story

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all**

**A/N Thanks as always for the reviews, story alerts, and favorites. It's completely amazing that you guys enjoy reading my story. And thanks again to the lovely EdwardsBloodType for making my words sound nice. Fic Rec's at the bottom.**

**Chapter 3: Her Story**

**BPOV**

_Holy hell, what was that noise? Is it still night? Why is it so dark?_

Crap, I had always hated waking up from a thunderstorm. Especially two hours before my alarm was supposed to go off. I had never been what one could call a morning person. I rolled back under my covers, determined to fall back asleep for another hour at least.

But of course, the harder I tried to focus on falling asleep, the more awake I became. I could hear the water dripping off the roof of my balcony and could see the lightning flashes behind my eyelids. After the third thunderclap, I gave up all hope.

_Oh well, if I get a cup of coffee in my system, I can just start the day now. I always write better during rainy days anyway. No excuses for distractions._

After I had completed my brain's pre-6 a.m. pep talk, I threw my covers off and stepped onto my hardwood floor. I jumped across the cold floor quickly to my dresser and threw on a pair of thick wool socks, and my old UW sweatshirt.

_Much better, next destination kitchen. Must have coffee._

After starting my coffee pot, I grabbed my laptop from my desk and carried it over to the sofa. I flipped the switch on my fireplace and grabbed my favorite chenille throw to wrap up in while I typed. I had a system worked out for days when I needed comfort to write, and today was definitely going to be one of those days.

As the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, I ambled back towards the kitchen to fix my cup. I pulled a mug down from the cabinet, and grabbed the milk from the refrigerator. I had just enough to make my coffee, but added milk to my grocery list on the front of the fridge.

_That list is getting kind of long, I really need to go today…_

One quick glance out the window reminded me why I was up at this ungodly hour in the first place, and I resolved myself to going later that day after it wasn't raining any longer.

I settled into the corner of the sofa safely swaddled in my blanket. I balanced my laptop on the arm of the couch and blew some steam off my mug so I could drink the coffee quickly. I desperately needed to get some caffeine in my system so I could start thinking in complete sentences. After thoroughly burning my throat awake, I opened up my latest chapter for my third and as-yet-untitled book.

It was the third in a series about a modern woman who falls back in time to the Austen era, and has to navigate through a world she is much too independent for. The first book was the fall back in time, and her adjustment to living in a world where she knew no one. The second book was about her life and developing friendships, and the men pursuing her. This book was to be about her relationship and eventual marriage to a Darcy-like character that she had fought against since her arrival. The first two books had made me a moderate success, and I had a rather devout following of fans. And a flattering if not slightly strange group of fanfiction authors who loved to extend my works into their own erotic fantasies. Pretty fun reading for a lonely Friday night though.

After a quick read over the previous chapter, I jumped right back into my story, typing furiously as the story came to life in my mind. When I wrote, I tended to lose track of time completely, which drove my literary agent Angela, absolutely crazy.

_Maybe if I can get through enough today and don't hit any blocks, I can skip writing tomorrow morning so I don't miss our weekly lunch. Again. _

After a few hours, the cup of coffee worked its way through my system, so I saved the document quickly and skipped to the bathroom to relieve myself. I refilled my mug and glanced at the clock to realize it was almost noon. My stomach made itself known then, and I quickly put together a sandwich. After I ate, I washed my plate and took my sadly black coffee back with me to write a few more pages before heading to the store.

Some time later, I was snapped out of my typing trance by the sound of my house phone ringing somewhere in the apartment. I scrambled to try to find it before the machine picked up, and of course found it right as it switched over.

"_Bella!!! Phil got signed honey, isn't that just fantastic? We're going to be staying in Jacksonville permanently, isn't that just divine, honey? We'll be right on the beach and you can come visit anytime you'd like, you can stay with us and you can check out all these beach boys! If I weren't a married woman and twenty years younger, these boys would be in trouble let me tell you"-_

I clicked the receiver on before my mother could launch into her description of all the "delicious pieces of man-meat" she found herself surrounded by. I loved my mother, but she and I could not be more different. Renee was a perpetual teenager, while I was practically born into middle age. I never felt the need to sow any wild oats nor did I feel the need to have a man in my life to be complete.

_Not that I would mind a warm body to wake up next to on mornings like today's…sigh._

I hadn't had a steady boyfriend since my engagement to Jacob ended rather abruptly, after I walked in on him and the wedding planner most definitely NOT discussing floral arrangements. It hurt my pride to be cheated on, but after the last two years to reflect on the relationship, I couldn't be more grateful to them both. I loved Jake so much, but I was never _in love_ with him.

As kids, we made mud pies together, and as teenagers no one else ever pursued me because they assumed we were a couple. I never corrected the assumption because the Forks High School dating pool was a bit shallow. When we were sixteen he decided it was time for our first kiss and he grabbed me one day on the beach, practically jumping me. He thought it was hot. I broke my knuckles on his jaw and didn't speak to him for a month. After that we were together.

We went on cliché dates, because Jake is a cliché kind of guy. We lost our virginities on prom. He thought it was a great experience. He gave me red roses on Valentine's Day. _I fucking hate roses_. He gave me Hallmark cards on my birthday with his name signed at the bottom. He gave me…_an author_ … a generic card with no originality whatsoever. Oh, and a new charm to add onto the bracelet he gave me for my sixteenth birthday. The gold bracelet. _I fucking hate gold too. _

We were together because it was easy to assume that was the next logical step after being friends since diapers. That, and it made Charlie and Jake's dad Billy ecstatic. Their weekend fishing trips could count as family time. And it made Jake happy, and he was my best friend in the world. But that's not how I wanted to end up married.

I wanted passion and heat, but the idea of having those things without a fierce love to accompany it just felt hollow. I wanted to really _miss _the other person when he was gone, and feel his presence when he was near. I wanted somebody who _got_ me. Jake and I had some good sex, but it was never fully satisfying for me. Or him obviously, since he ended up getting it elsewhere in the end. _Fucker. _

I was overall more upset about the loss of our friendship than our romantic relationship to be honest. After we were over I cried because I missed my best friend, and I guess I had been naïve enough to think that no matter what happened in life, our friendship would survive. He'd actually tried to make amends a while after. I wasn't interested. I thought I meant more to him than a piece of ass. He didn't leave me heartbroken, he left me to feel expendable and worthless.

So I decided to take my time recovering my self-esteem and focusing on what made me happy, without the need for someone else to fill a void in my life. And I understood that I wasn't worthless, I just wasn't worth it to _him._

But it had been two years now, so whether or not I _needed_ someone else was irrelevant. I wanted someone, but I refused to settle. Never again.

Unfortunately, I was an author who wrote from home, who lost her entire group of friends in the "divorce". I had never enjoyed the bar scene, and I couldn't dance to save my life, not that the guys haunting those places were Prince Charmings-in-training. And all the men I had met at libraries and poetry readings were either balding or gay. Neither appealed to my imaginary personal Mr. Darcy.

However, poor Renee just couldn't understand why I didn't take my new found "freedom" and run with it like the wind, jumping on every dick I met.

"_Bella!"_

Her voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Hi mom, I heard your message, I just couldn't find my phone. Congratulations to you and Phil, I'm really excited for you both!" I spoke with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, but I had been staring at a computer screen for…_oh crap, how is it already past 5?..._ "Hey mom? I really need to run to the store if I have any chance at eating dinner tonight, could I call you back when I get home?"

"_Okay sweetie, but make sure you don't forget. I have so much to dish!"_

"Sure thing mom, give me maybe two hours, tops, okay?"

"_I love you, Bella baby."_

"I love you too mom."

I hung up and went into my bedroom to actually get dressed. Pajamas at the supermarket might earn a few raised eyebrows. I donned my standard "uniform" of a fitted tee and jeans with my ever faithful and always comfortable converse trainers. Walking back through my apartment, I stopped in the kitchen to grab my list from the fridge and my shopping bags. I threw my phone into my purse and headed out, locking the door behind me.

_Oh shit. Did I save my chapter before I left? If the power goes out I could lose my work…Fuck it, I'll be back in an hour and I'm already downstairs. I'll save it as soon as I get back._

**Fic Rec's**

**Work in Progress**

**Progress**

**Passing By**

**HIGH ANXIETY ****  
**


	4. Chapter 4 The Taking Pt 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all**

**A/N: As always thanks for the alerts and reviews. Many thanks to EdwardsBloodType for her help beta'ing. Fic Rec's on bottom. **

**Also, if it helps, go back and re-read the prologue before this chapter. I just didn't want to repost essentially the same thing all over again.**

Chapter 4: The Taking Pt. 1

EPOV

_I walked to my cart to push it back over them. As I reached it, I heard a sound that would haunt my memory for the rest of my life. I heard my Lily scream and then a gunshot rang out followed by complete silence. I whipped around to save my little girl from I don't know fucking what, and what I saw made me freeze._

A man, with stringy blond hair, and cold gray eyes had a gun pointed at my baby girl and Bella.

* * * * * * * *

I started to move forward to grab Lily and pull her behind me, but his eyes flashed up to me immediately halting me in my movements.

"Stay right fucking there or die motherfucker."

He spoke without raising his voice, and he looked at me calmly as though if was of no real consequence to him if he had to kill me or not.

He looked back down at Lily and Bella then, who were still crouched together surrounded by apples, asking, "Vicki, what are you doing at the store? You know you're not supposed to leave the house without me."

_Vicki? Who the fuck is Vicki? Does she know this asshole? If she gets my daughter hurt I swear to god I'll kill them both._

But Bella/Vicki looked completely confused, and absolutely fucking terrified.

"I-I'm sorry, but I think you have me m-m-mistaken for someone else. My name is-"

She was cut off by his backhand.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TRY WITH ME VICTORIA! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING TAKING OFF WITH ABIGAIL?!"

_Abigail? Is he talking about my Lily? Who the fuck is this guy? He's fucking insane!_

Bella was shaking, obviously unsure if she was actually meant to answer him or not. I didn't blame her, I didn't know myself to be honest.

After a moment he seemed to calm himself, shaking his head a bit, and a cool mask replaced his rage-filled visage.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to yell like that. You just caught me off guard is all. Were you planning some kind of surprise? I didn't mean to ruin it for you."

Bella still looked completely shocked, her eyes dancing frantically between his face and his gun. He began to look irritated, obviously this time expecting an answer.

She had fallen back on her ass when he hit her, but when she realized he was waiting for her to speak, she scrambled back up. I noticed that she placed herself slightly in front of Lily, where his gun was still aimed.

_Thank you, thank you, thank you…_

"Um…" she began, "I- it would probably be easier to think straight if you could just point the gun away from me, please." She tried to hold her voice firm, but her body betrayed her with slight tremors showing her fear.

"If you were just telling the truth, you wouldn't need to think about anything, Victoria." His voice belied his growing anger, and his eyes flashed to Lily behind her.

"I don't want to deal with this here. We just need to get you both home, and I'll discuss this with you in private. She doesn't need to witness your punishment for disobeying my wishes." He sounded truly annoyed now and motioned with his gun for her to stand.

Bella stood quickly, pulling Lily up with her, but hid her completely behind her body now.

This motion did not go unnoticed by Crazy Eyes.

"Why are you trying to hide her behind you, Vicki? You're only going to make this worse for yourself. Come here," he commanded softly.

Bella hesitated for a moment, but when he lifted his gun and huffed she began to move towards him. I looked around the store quickly and saw every person completely immobile. I noticed now how empty the store was, I assumed since it was already dinnertime and most people were already at home.

_Why can't I hear any sirens? Don't they have silent alarms? Shouldn't someone have called the cops by now?_

Keeping his gun trained on her, he maneuvered her a few feet away from him, standing on his left, so she was no longer blocking Lily. My baby girl was now standing completely alone in front of a crazy man who thought she was his daughter. With his eyes still on Bella, he moved the gun back towards Lily.

A strangled cry erupted from my throat, and my breathing stopped altogether.

"Victoria, I'm going to say this once, and you're going to listen understand." He spoke so softly I could barely hear him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella nod, but I couldn't tear my sight away from Lily and the gun trained on her.

"If you try to defy me again, I will punish her in your place. If you try to fight me, I will hurt her for your mistakes. I will not be gentle, and I will make you witness it all, so you understand fully how serious I am. I am your husband and you will give me the respect I deserve." After delivering his message, he turned his attention to Lily, while simultaneously moving his gun's aim onto Bella.

Once the gun was no longer pointed at my little girl, I choked out a breath, but still stood frozen and completely helpless.

He spoke to her then, to make sure he had her attention.

"Abigail?"

I had to swallow down the bile rising in my throat, hearing that monster speak to my daughter with…_affection?_

"I-I-I'm not Abigail, I'm Lil-"

He didn't say anything, but his eyes flashed in anger. Lily froze, going completely silent. He stepped closer to Bella, and nudged her mouth open with the barrel of the gun, placing it inside when her mouth was wide enough. Her eyes flared open, her cry muffled, and I could see her gagging on the weapon. She paled to ash white, but remained perfectly still.

_Oh my god, please don't make my daughter see this. Please, please, please…_

Lily rushed forward a few steps, arms outreached, crying out, "Stop! Please!"

He turned back to Lily and asked her, "I need you to understand, Abby. If you talk back to Daddy I will have to hurt Mommy. If you're bad, I have to punish her. Can you be a good girl, Abby?" His gun was still inside Bella's mouth, and Lily seemed to be scared speechless. At her hesitation, he pushed the gun further into Bella's mouth, and her knees buckled in an effort to keep from choking. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her tears spilling over onto her cheeks. They ran off her face and she made no move to wipe them.

"Yes! Yes! I understand! I'll be good I promise!" My baby cried desperately. I couldn't see her face, because she was still facing Crazy Eyes and Bella, but I could hear the tears in her voice. They broke my heart.

_What the fuck can I do? I can't just stand here! Where are the motherfucking cops?!_

"Good girl. Well, come on then, it's time to go." He beckoned Lily over with his hand, pulling the gun out of Bella's mouth. Bella's eyes flew open at that and she stood quickly backing away slightly from him. "Let's go girls."

_No, no, no, no. He can't take my baby. Stop him, you have to stop him. Rush him, you can take him._

As if he could read my mind he reached over quickly and scooped Lily up into his arms. He was standing far enough away from Bella that she couldn't reach the gun, her sight focused intently on it. He used it to softly graze along my daughter's cheek, brushing her hair out of her eyes. She whimpered in his arms, and an identical sound escaped mine and Bella's mouths at the same time. He whispered something in her ear and kissed her on the cheek.

_He will die for that. It will not be quick. It will not be easy._

My mind flashed with all the different ways I wanted to kill the bastard, as I saw him pass her over to Bella. Lily began to sob quietly into her shoulder, and Bella cradled her tightly glaring at Crazy Eyes over Lily's head.

_What did he say to my baby? Where is he taking them?_

"Victoria, take Abigail to the van. It's right outside the door. I'll be right behind you. Remember what I said." He gave her a pointed look and then waved her back with his gun.

Bella closed her eyes briefly and rested her forehead on Lily's head. Her hair fell down around them, and she must have whispered something to Lily, because I saw my sweet girl nod her head. She threw her arms around Bella's neck, burying her face in her chest, and Bella hugged her back just as fiercely.

"NOW!" He bellowed, causing them both to jump. Just before Bella started to walk away, she glanced over at me, and the look in her eyes ripped me in half. She looked so sorrowful and apologetic, absolutely torn. She walked out the front walkway of the store and turned to the right, out of sight, taking my reason for life with her.

"If I see anyone come out of those doors," motioning behind him, "I'll kill them both." He locked eyes with me as he said this, and I've never felt so helpless. My body was shaking with the urge to do _something,_ kill, strangle, torture, save her, save them…He backed out slowly, his eyes darting around madly, evaluating any threats to his escape. His gun stayed pointed in my direction, keeping me from ripping him apart the way I wanted to. As he made his way through the automatic doors, he darted around the corner just as I heard sirens in the distance.

Tears of hatred burned in my eyes as I heard tires peeling out from the front of the store, and my desire to give chase warred with my fear of enraging the insane man you had just kidnapped my daughter.

_Christ. Kidnapped. My baby…he just…_

I heard the sirens blaring loudly now, too loudly. My ears were pounding as my mind struggled to comprehend what the fuck was happening. I heard a policeman's voice through a megaphone attempting to make contact with the criminal.

_What the fuck! If they think he's still in here, that's means there's no one chasing him. How long ago did he leave? How far away could he be already?_

At the repeat of the cop's request to make contact, I burst through the automatic doors towards the police outside. There were at least five cruisers situated in the parking lot, and I saw four officers standing outside of two of them, guns drawn pointed directly at me.

"FREEZE! Identify yourself!"

I stopped in my tracks, desperate to do whatever I needed to do quickly to alert them to what was happening, not that my brain could fully grasp it.

"Please," I choked out, "My daughter was just taken, along with another woman. This man, he took them, he took them…" I started to hyperventilate as I struggled to say the words out loud, unable to continue, but needing to say them. They needed to start the chase or I was going to get in my car and hunt this asshole down myself.

_Fucking man up, Cullen. Break down later, find Lily now._

At my admission, the officer holding the megaphone came rushing over to me, while the other officers stayed in place. They were covering him, eyeing me warily.

"Sir, can you give me your name?"

"My _name_," starting to feel really fucking irritated at the time that was being wasted, "is Edward fucking Cullen. My DAUGHTER was just taken by some crazy man, along with another woman shopping in the grocery store at the time. They drove away in a van less than five minutes ago. And why the FUCK is no one going after him yet?!" I was shouting by the end of my explanation, my chest heaving with the adrenaline rushing through my system.

"Sir, you have to remain calm, so we can get all the information we need to find your daughter." _Is this guy for fucking real? Calm?! _"Can you tell us what the van looked like? Did you see any of the numbers on the license plate?"

Now I was just starting to get frustrated.

"I was inside. He took them from inside. He said if we followed him, he'd kill them. I was afraid if I tried to chase him, he'd-" My voice broke then, unable to say the words, intense shame burning from the inside out. My baby was just taken from me, right in front of me, and I did nothing. Nothing. I should have tried to fight him, distract him, and do something! If he killed me and it kept her from being taken, it would be worth it. But no, I just stood there and watched him touch my baby, _my Lilybug, my princess,_ right in front of me. I deserved to die. I failed her.

I couldn't think like that. My daughter needed me to stay strong so I could find her.

_But if anything happens to her, if that monster touches her or hurts her…_

_We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Cullen. FIND HER._

"Alright, sir? We're going to go inside now and look at the surveillance tapes for the parking lot to get an ID on the vehicle. We'll also be taking a look at the security video from inside the store to try to identify the kidnapper. Did he give a name at any point during the abduction?"

"No. He just kept calling them Victoria and Abigail, he wouldn't let them say their real names."

"Alright. Let's go inside and start this. My name is Captain Williams. My sergeant here," he gestured an older looking officer over to us, "Officer Masen is going to take your statement and our sketch artist should be here soon. In case we aren't able to get a clear shot of the abductor on camera, we'll need the best description you can give to help identify him. We'll start an Amber Alert immediately for your daughter. Do you have a current photo of your daughter? We'll be releasing it to the 9 o'clock news broadcast."

As soon as the word 'news' escaped his mouth, I saw three different vans from local stations pull into the parking lot behind the barricade of police cruisers. We turned and began to walk back inside the store.

I laughed humorlessly. "So now everybody decides to show up. What took you people so long to get here?"

I knew I was being rude, but my sanity was reaching the end of its rope. Adrenaline still coursed through my body. I really needed to hit something.

He answered me, unfazed. "We responded to a 911 call from a cell phone inside the store. Someone placed the call but couldn't speak to the operator to give them their location. It takes longer to pinpoint an exact address when the call comes from a cell. We have to bounce the signal back from the nearest tower, and-"

I cut him off then, uninterested in the specifics. "Ok, I get it. I just want to find this bastard and get my little girl home and tucked into bed."

He gave me a curt nod as we stepped inside what must have been the 'security office' for the grocery store. It consisted of a monitor flashing from screen to screen every few seconds sitting on top of a desk. There were a dozen VCR's sitting next to it, in two columns of six. They were labeled with different areas of the store. I noticed a safe sat in the corner of the room with a cash counting machine on top of it.

A woman dressed in the store's uniform entered the small room then, her name tag identifying her as a service manager by the name of Sally. She had dried tear tracks on her face and she was very pale. For a split second, the doctor in me started to wonder as to her health. I noted subconsciously she was probably in a state of shock. But the father in me overpowered him in a heartbeat, because right now the only important thing was watching those tapes and finding a way back to Lily.

She started explaining to the captain how to select and view from the different camera angles. While they set up the view from the parking lot, I began to pull at the ends of my hair in anticipation. I was about to see this man drive away with my daughter inside. My stomach rolled over on itself thinking about it, but I needed to keep it together.

After a couple of minutes, the correct VCR was rewound and the screen was set to it exclusively.

I saw an old black worker van pull into the lot. I saw Crazy Eyes get out of the van and go inside the store. The angle at which he was parked prevented a clear view of his license plate however. I noted the time in the corner of the screen. 5:15 p.m.

"That's before we got there." I pointed out to the cops, unsure if this information was important.

_By the looks on their faces, I'd venture a guess and say it was._

"Ok, let's fast forward quickly then to see which direction they drove away in. Then we'll pull this tape and get it sent down to the station. We need their software to zoom in on the license plate and the faster we do that, the faster we can get the information out to the public. We need to look at the store's interior tapes from this time on to see if he touched anything before he took your daughter. Did you see him touch anything? If we can get a match on his fingerprints it will expedite identifying him."

"No, I didn't see him touch anything except…except _them._" I whispered out the last word, emotion threatening to take over my mind and cripple me.

I could see the wheels turning behind the Captain's eyes. "We'll also look and see if we can find anything the woman touched as well. We need to figure out who she is too."

"Bella. She introduced herself as Bella, in the store, before-" I cut off unable to finish.

He nodded once, and then turned back to the screen.

They fast forwarded through the tape, and after about fifteen minutes had passed in the video, we saw him exiting the store with a small sack in the nook of his elbow. He was packing a box of smokes in his palm as he walked back to his van.

I saw my Volvo enter the parking lot and pull into a space. I got out with Lily and walked right past him. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed him, because he sure as hell noticed us. His head whipped around as we passed him, just watching us walk into the store. After a few moments he entered his van, starting the ignition but not moving.

About twenty minutes later I saw an old red truck drive into the lot and park. I saw Bella get out and walk inside carrying a large purse holding a piece of paper in her hands, reading while walking into the store. She had her eyes down and didn't even glance at his van as she walked inside. As soon as she walked past him, however, he pulled his van out of the space and drove to the front of the store. He parked just past the right of the entryway doors. He turned off the ignition and exited the vehicle, striding with purpose through the automatic doors.

The Captain ejected the tape then and handed it to another officer in the room. I hadn't noticed anyone else joining us, but I was too hypnotized by what I was seeing on the screen. A million questions ran through my mind.

_Did she know him? Was he waiting for her to get there? Were they working together? Or was she as innocent as Lily?_

She had seemed so scared, so confused. The man was clearly delusional. But my family was old money, well known in the Seattle area. It could be a kidnapping for ransom, but it didn't seem that way. He really thought Lily was this _Abigail_. And Bella had seemed so sweet and kind when Lily ran her over. I smiled sadly to myself thinking back on how simple my thoughts and life were just an hour before.

He interrupted my reverie asking, "Did you have a picture of your daughter Mr. Cullen? The officer here can take that with him to the station to get the Amber Alert started."

I pulled her safety ID card out of my wallet, really fucking sad that I had a reason to use it. I handed it off to the officer and he left the office.

The Captain started looking at the store's interior camera footage, and my stomach clenched in anticipation. We saw Crazy Eyes enter the store and stride over to a magazine rack by the cash registers. He flipped through several different magazines for a few minutes, finally selecting a few and then walking out of sight of the camera's angle towards a cash lane.

Captain Williams paused the video and pointed at the screen. "Ok, Masen? Get Crime Scene out there to start dusting those mags for prints. Then come back here to start taking Mr. Cullen's statement." He turned to me then saying, "I don't think you really want to have to watch this happen all over again. We'll be able to get a clear enough freeze on this video to release a picture to the media, so you won't need to meet with the sketch artist."

Masen returned then, carrying with him the same purse Bella had been holding in the video. I had never noticed it with her when we were in the produce section. She must have dropped it when Lily knocked her over.

"Crime scene found this near where they were taken." He pulled out a wallet. "Drivers license says Isabella Swan, age 25. Address is listed as close by. CSI is running the name now."

"Alright, good enough. All we can do is wait to hear what they find. Why don't you take Mr. Cullen here down to the station to get his statement?" Captain Williams addressed me next, "Is there anyone you want to call to alert them of your situation? This will be airing out in a little less than two hours on the nightly news."

"Yes. I need to call my parents. They need to know. I just-I just don't know what to tell them." I choked.

"If you'd like, an officer can make the call for you Mr. Cullen. We can notify whoever you need. Were you harmed at all? You didn't look like it, but you are likely to be in a state of shock. You may want to be looked at by the EMT's here."

I stopped him there. I was well aware I was in a state of fucking shock. I didn't need to waste time letting myself be fondled when I could be helping find my little girl. I just needed to let my parents know before I did anything else. I couldn't have someone else do that dirty work for me. My mother was going to fall apart as it was.

I shook my head. "No. I don't need to be checked. My dad's a doctor, as am I. I'll just tell them to meet me at the station, and I'll explain everything when we get there."

He nodded slowly. "Well, if you won't let us check you out here, then I'm going to have to insist you let Masen here drive you down. I can't let you on the road in your state."

I was too drained to argue over something inconsequential, even though I felt fully capable of driving. I pulled out my cell from my pocket and started dialing as we made our way back outside to Officer Masen's cruiser. My heartbeat thundered between my ears as I prepared to tell my parents the fuckery that had occurred merely an hour after picking my daughter up from their house. It rang twice before I heard my mother's voice.

"_Hello?_" My mom's sweet voice sang.

And in that moment I was her little boy again. And I was completely fucking lost. "Mom…Lily…I need you…Dad-"

My sobs started and I couldn't breathe. My chest felt like it was being crushed and I couldn't see straight. Stars started creeping into my vision and I couldn't feel the rest of my body. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I heard voices in the background, but I couldn't decipher what they were saying. My legs gave out and the voices were closer and louder, but were garbled and I couldn't make any of it out. I felt a prick right before everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5 The Taking Pt 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all.**

**A/N: As always thanks for the alerts and favorites. And thank you SO MUCH for the reviews! They give me the warm and fuzzies. Reviews get teasers. EdwardsBloodType is the bomb beta. Check out her shit. Sorry I forgot to add on the fic rec's last chapter. I added double this time.**

Chapter 5: The Taking Pt. 2

BPOV

I hung up and went into my bedroom to actually get dressed. Pajamas at the supermarket might earn a few raised eyebrows. I donned my standard "uniform" of a fitted tee and jeans with my ever faithful and always comfortable converse trainers. Walking back through my apartment, I stopped in the kitchen to grab my list from the fridge and my shopping bags. I threw my phone into my purse and headed out, locking the door behind me.

_Oh shit. Did I save my chapter before I left? If the power goes out I could lose my work…Fuck it, I'll be back in an hour and I'm already downstairs. I'll save it as soon as I get back._

* * * * * * * *

I drove my behemoth truck, affectionately known as The Beast, into the lot of the store. I loved shopping this time of day. There were always plenty of spaces. Everybody else was already at home eating while I could get in and out quickly. I parked and got out, skimming over my list as I headed in trying to figure out what I needed to get first.

I grabbed a cart and set my purse in the top. I wheeled it inside and headed straight for the produce section since it was right up front. I placed a bag of oranges in my basket and then started to walk around the corner to grab some tomatoes, when my feet flew out from underneath me. Something kind of heavy slammed onto my stomach knocking the breath out of me. All of this was strange enough, but to top it off, it was raining apples all around me.

After the apples had stopped falling, I realized the Something-kind-of-heavy was actually a rather small person who had their head buried in my stomach, and their little hands fisted in my shirt. I wasn't sure if this was somehow a direct result of my own clumsiness or because of the little person on top of me, but the whole scenario just played out like a cartoon. I shut my eyes tightly to try to keep myself from laughing hysterically or crying in embarrassment on the floor of the grocery store.

_Eww. I am showering before I make dinner._

The little thing on top of me started to shake too, and their little fists dug in a little harder to my sides tickling me. That was all I could take. One giggle escaped my lips, and then all hell broke loose. I was cracking up, and Little Thing above lost it as well. I could scarcely breathe I was laughing so hard, tears falling down the side of my face.

I heard a throat clear, and I peeked my eyes open, expecting an angry mother to yell at me for knocking down their child, or maybe a store employee demanding I pay for every apple that had fallen. What I saw though, was the blurry form of a man through my tears. He wasn't screaming at me yet, which I took as a good sign. Little Thing was still buried in my shirt, so I tried to crack a joke to keep him from threatening to sue me for attacking his kid.

"Excuse me, but did you happen to lose a giggle monster? Because I seem to have found one that landed on my lap and I'm sure her owner is very eager to find her. I hear giggle monsters like apples, but I wouldn't recommend the granny smiths. They seem to out of stock at the moment." Unfortunately, my joke fell flat, and I was pretty sure I heard crickets chirping.

But Little Thing took that as the cue to get off of me, still laughing and snorting all the while. I tried to get up, but kept stumbling over the apples under my feet. The man seemed to realize I needed some help because he reached over to offer his hand, but my natural clumsiness pretty much threw my entire body into his. My eyes had finally cleared and I looked up to thank him. And he had the most amazing emerald eyes I had ever seen.

_Oh my god, that's a pretty man. I want to lick him. No! I want him to lick me._

_Sigh. Maybe he could just hold me forever. Wait…fuck my life, he's holding me because I threw myself at him._

He jerked away just as I realized I was hanging all over the hottest DILF to ever exist. I kind of wanted to cry in embarrassment as I looked around me and realized I had just fallen flat on my back, laughed like a crazy person, and knocked down this guy's kid all in one fell swoop. Oh! And I threw myself into his arms and stayed there for an utterly inappropriate amount of time.

_God, I hope his wife doesn't pop out soon and claw my eyes out._

I glanced down at his hand quickly and didn't see a ring, but that doesn't really mean anything anyways. I felt my face flush. What was I thinking? It was not exactly endearing to knock down another person's child, and then laugh about it.

_Please don't yell at me. Just let me go home and pretend this never happened and dream about you in my sleep tonight._

I looked over at Little Thing, hoping the ring finger check had gone unnoticed. She was the cutest little girl I had ever seen, not that I had ever been around a lot of kids, but still. She had her dad's eyes and the same bronze colored hair. She looked a little stunned, and I didn't want her to be upset or embarrassed, so I suggested, "Hi! I'm Bella. I think we should probably start picking up some of these apples don't you?"

That seemed to snap her out of her stupor, and she giggled out a little, "Yeah."

Her dad flustered out, "Let me just grab my cart and I'll come help pick them up. Miss, you really don't have to help, you didn't cause this mess."

I huffed at that idea. Like I could just leave Little Thing to pick them all up by herself. What was I in a rush to get home to besides an hour-long one-sided conversation with my mom?

"Please. The great apple avalanche of 2009 has been the most exciting part of my day; I haven't laughed that hard since...ever." I gave him a little smile, but I didn't hold his gaze for long. I didn't want to risk a second hypnotism by his eyes.

Little Thing and I started to pick up the apples together while he fetched his cart. I reached over to grab an apple that had rolled a bit further away, lying in between two black boots. I looked up to warn whoever the boots belonged to, when I saw a crazed looking man glaring at me, a gun in his hand.

I flew back towards Little Thing, and he pointed the gun to the ceiling and fired a warning shot freezing me in place. Little Thing screamed, and I wanted to go to her but I was afraid to provoke him. Behind me, I heard movement, but then the gunman's voice rang out.

"Stay right fucking there or die motherfucker."

I assumed Little Thing's dad must have tried to help her, but I could have heard a pin drop after he spoke. I was scared shitless at his cold calm tone. I didn't doubt his words for a second. He returned his gaze down at us then.

"Vicki, what are you doing at the store? You know you're not supposed to leave the house without me."

_What. The. Fuck._

I stupidly tried to argue with him. "I-I'm sorry, but I think you have me m-m-mistaken for someone else. My name is-"

Before I could even say my name, his hand flew forward, smacking me across the face. It threw me completely off balance and I landed hard on my ass, but I was too frightened to even try to right myself.

_Shutting up now._

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TRY WITH ME VICTORIA! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING TAKING OFF WITH ABIGAIL?!"

_Okay, I don't know what to do here. He is really fucking screaming at me right now, and I don't know what the fuck he is talking about._

Luckily for me he didn't seem to need an answer to that, because I didn't have one to give him. He calmed down a bit then and said, "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to yell like that. You just caught me off guard is all. Were you planning some kind of surprise? I didn't mean to ruin it for you."

I still had absolutely no clue what he expected me to say. Did he really think I was someone else? Was I supposed to just play along? I tried to think of what my dad would do in this situation. Being the Chief of Police in Forks he was always serious about his job, even if the biggest crimes he ever dealt with were breaking up Friday night parties and the occasional domestic disturbance. I vividly remembered rolling my eyes at him when he fretted over my safety in the city.

_Sorry, Charlie._

He looked like he was starting to get agitated with me just sitting there gaping like a fish, so I moved back over to Little Thing. She looked so scared, like she might cry or wet herself any second. Possibly both. I felt the same. I tried to move a little in front of her to make her feel more protected.

I decided my best bet was to try and keep him calm until the police could get there, because there was no way I was going after that gun knowing it was loaded. "Um…I- it would probably be easier to think straight if you could just point the gun away from me, please."

I cursed myself for shaking, when I wanted to sound strong and not let him see my fear.

He gritted out through clenched teeth, "If you were just telling the truth, you wouldn't need to think about anything, Victoria."

_Yeah well, if you weren't unhinged, you wouldn't think I was her period._

Apparently he didn't like the look in my eye. He was definitely angry again. "I don't want to deal with this here. We just need to get you both home, and I'll discuss this with you in private. She doesn't need to witness your punishment for disobeying my wishes."

_Home?_

He waved his gun in an upward motion, obviously wanting me to stand, even though I had no intention of going any-fucking-where. I pulled up Little Thing up too, just in case he meant both of us, but I pushed her gently behind me to completely shield her. He did not appreciate that.

His voice was low, but menacing. "Why are you trying to hide her behind you, Vicki? You're only going to make this worse for yourself. Come here."

_I would really rather not…_

He huffed out an exasperated breath and started to motion with his gun for me to come forward, so I started walking towards him. I tried to stay in front of Little Thing but he jerked his aim to the left of him, obviously wanting to have a clear view of both of us. He never took his eyes off of me, but he slowly returned his aim back to where I had come from, right at Little Thing.

"Victoria, I'm going to say this once, and you're going to listen understand." His voice was so soft and that made it all the more chilling. He had me locked in his stare, afraid to look away for fear of raising his ire even more. All I could do was nod, my voice had totally left me.

"If you try to defy me again, I will punish her in your place. If you try to fight me, I will hurt her for your mistakes. I will not be gentle, and I will make you witness it all, so you understand fully how serious I am. I am your husband and you will give me the respect I deserve."

I gulped audibly, absolutely terrified of what this could possibly mean.

He looked over at Little Thing then, and swung his gun around to point at me.

"Abigail?" he called out playfully.

I looked to her, so scared of what he would do if she upset him.

Her little voice trembled. "I-I-I'm not Abigail, I'm Lil-"

The glare he gave her shut her up instantly. He turned the force of that glare on me and advanced slowly. The gun was aimed directly at my face. As he reached me, he pushed the barrel in between my lips forcing me to take it into my mouth. I cried out at the feel of the hot metal, the end of the barrel still warm from his warning shot earlier. The distinct taste of gunpowder made bile rise up in my throat. I struggled to keep it down, not wanting to find out what he would do if I threw up all over him.

Sweet Little Thing yelled for him to stop, and out of the corner of my eye I could see she had rushed forward to stop him. I silently prayed she would just stay still to keep from getting hurt, afraid her outburst would cause him to lash out at her. She was close enough now that he could backhand her in the same way he did to me.

But he surprised me, just gazing down at her with a sickening loving look in his eye. "I need you to understand, Abby. If you talk back to Daddy I will have to hurt Mommy. If you're bad, I have to punish her. Can you be a good girl, Abby?"

_You sick fuck_.

She didn't answer right away, probably so confused and frightened she couldn't even think straight. The loving look turned cold then and he rammed the gun further down my throat, and I sank to my knees to keep from coughing up the bile churning in my stomach. I didn't want to see it happen when he pulled the trigger. I clenched my eyes shut, forcing my tears out.

Brave Little Thing agreed quickly then, and he instantly resumed his loving tone towards her.

"Good girl. Well, come on then, it's time to go." He pulled out the gun as he said this, and my eyes flew open at the shock. Shock at not having my head blown off, and shock that he truly intended to take us. I stood up to put some distance away from myself and his gun. He was motioning her over to come to him, and I could do nothing to stop him from scooping her up in his arms and holding her close to his body.

She was beyond terrified, her whole body shaking with tremors, her little face blotchy from crying. He used the gun to move a stray clump of hair from her face, and ran it down her cheek. I cried out a little, as did she, but we both held still.

He leaned down to her ear, and whispered. "That man over there took you from me. You're my daughter and she is your mommy. I love you, but YOU. ARE. MINE. And if you ever try to leave me I'll kill her, and then I'll kill that bad man that took you from me." With that said he kissed her cheek and handed her to me.

_I amend my previous statement. You sick TWISTED SON-OF-THE-MOTHERFUCKING-DEVIL fuck._

I wrapped my arms around her, unable to tell her that everything he had said was a vicious lie the way I wanted to. I don't think there had ever been a time when I had been angrier than that moment. But anger was good. Anger kept my fear from taking over my mind and letting me fall to pieces and cry like I wanted to. I needed to be strong if I wanted to keep Little Thing calm.

"Victoria, take Abigail to the van. It's right outside the door. I'll be right behind you. Remember what I said." He waved me off with the gun towards the automatic doors behind us.

I didn't know what to do. If I stayed, he would probably just shoot everyone he had enough bullets for, starting with us. If I went, he might kill us anyway. I had no idea what kind of fuckery awaited us. Could she ever forgive me if I took her away and went with him? Could she ever forgive me if I stayed and she had to watch her father die if she somehow survived? What if he just killed her father and me and then took her?

_No._

That made up my mind for me. I knew that I couldn't risk allowing him to have her alone. It didn't make that decision any easier to accept though. I tightened my arms around her, closing my eyes to try to keep the tears at bay. I laid my forehead down on hers, letting my hair fall down as a curtain around us, and whispered quickly, "I think we have to do what he says, but I won't leave you. And even though I don't know you, I want you to know that I love you."

And I really meant it. Her little angelic face, the memory of her belly laughs and clumsiness flashed through my mind. I always had thought that the term 'love at first sight' only applied to romantic relationships, but in that instant I just knew that I really loved this little girl, and I had to keep her safe.

She nodded that she had heard me and wound her little arms even tighter around my neck, choking me a bit. She buried her face in my shirt and I could feel the tears soaking through.

"NOW!"

His shout startled both of us. This was it. I really had to walk away and take her from her life to whatever he had planned for us. I glanced over at her father just once, and the look on his face was heartbreaking. I pleaded with him with my eyes to please forgive me, to understand this was my only choice, to please find us and save us SOON. I turned and started walking out.

Once through the automatic doors, I could see a large black van to the right of me. I walked over to it unsure of where we were supposed to go. I briefly glanced over at my truck wondering if I had any chance at making a run for it. It was then I remembered my purse, with my keys inside, sitting in my cart. I could try to run and hide in the cars, but the parking lot was half empty. He would probably find us in no time.

With a resigned sigh, I walked us over to the van and pulled on the back door. It opened with a groan, and I climbed inside with Little Thing still attached to my neck. It was an old workers' van, with a gate separating the cargo area from the front seat. I closed the doors behind us and sat down with my back against the wall.

_I should probably find out her name._

"Little Thing?" I whispered, afraid of him walking in on us and being angry for talking.

"Huh?" She sniffled, looking up from my chest then.

_Oh yeah genius. She probably doesn't need any more confusion on her name there ace._

"Sorry. I made up that nickname for you in my head. What's your real name?"

She looked frightened to respond, and I wanted to just throw her on my back and run for the hills.

I hurried to reassure her. "It's okay. It's not a trick. That gunman is crazy and he was lying. You know who your daddy is, and you know your REAL name. My real name is Bella Swan, not Victoria. I know you're not really Abigail." I prodded her gently. I needed her to trust me if the plan slowly forming in my head was going to work.

"Lily Cullen." She whispered it so softly I could barely hear her.

I smiled gently at her. "Lilies are my favorite flower. Lily, I think we have to pretend to be Victoria and Abigail to keep that man from getting angry. But it's only pretend. I want you to always remember that. And I'll remind you every chance I get. Okay?"

Before she had a chance to respond I heard a scraping in the handle outside the back door. The driver's door jerked open a second later and the gunman got in the seat, turning on the ignition and peeling out of there like a bat out of hell.

My eyes flew to him the second he entered the car, as I felt Lily nod her head against my shirt.

While he drove away he barked out instructions. "Both of you lay down. It's going to be a bit of a drive. And I don't want to hear any blubbering. It might make me feel you don't want to be with me," he taunted.

"And the back doors are locked now, so don't get any stupid ideas," he warned.

"Oh…and Vicki?" He paused, waiting for me to 'respond' to my name.

I squeezed Lily once, and I gritted out, "Yes?"

His face contorted into an evil sneer, his eyes locking with mine in the mirror.

"Rest while you can. I've missed you."

**Fic Rec's **

**Inked**

**Marked**

**Femme Docs and Kevlar Knights**

**My Warrior**

**Everclear**

**Everclear Revamped**

**Illegal Contact **

**Those should keep you busy!**


	6. Chapter 6 The First Night July 17th Pt 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all**

**A/N Hope everyone had a great Christmas/whatever it is you celebrate. Sorry for no update last week, but I had a family with 4 Christmases to do. Reviews get teasers. Thanks for reading my story. And thanks to EdwardsBloodType for beta'ing. Fic rec's at bottom. Happy New Year's! And get comfy, it's a long one. :)  
**

Chapter 6: The First Night July 17th Pt.1

EPOV

"_Hello?_" My mom's sweet voice sang.

And in that moment I was her little boy again. And I was completely fucking lost. "Mom…Lily…I need you…Dad-"

My sobs started and I couldn't breathe. My chest felt like it was being crushed and I couldn't see straight. Stars started creeping into my vision and I couldn't feel the rest of my body. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I heard voices in the background, but I couldn't decipher what they were saying. My legs gave out and the voices were closer and louder, but were garbled and I couldn't make any of it out. I felt a prick right before everything went black.

* * *

I bolted upright in my bed, my chest heaving as I struggled to catch my breath. I was sweating profusely, the sheets a mess around me.

_God. That was the worst fucking nightmare I think I've ever had. _

I felt groggy, and my mind was still foggy with sleep. When I stood up the blood rushed from my head and I felt dizzy, almost drunk. Looking down at myself, I was surprised to find myself in scrubs. I never fell asleep in my scrubs. I was reeling from my dream, an uneasy feeling stirring in my stomach. Something was gnawing at the corners of my mind, as I struggled to understand what was going on. From somewhere in my townhome, I heard voices coming from outside my room, but not the voice I needed to hear. _Why are there voices here? _A sense of dread was creeping up my spine.

_No. She's asleep in her room. I need to see her. NOW._

I threw my door open and the voices stopped. I heard some shuffling coming from downstairs, and I looked past the banister trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. My mother appeared at the bottom of the stairs, dried tears streaked down her face. And I knew. I knew it wasn't a nightmare, and I still didn't know how the fuck I got home, but I knew my Lily was not here. My pain must have shown in my eyes, because my mother's face turned so sorrowful and her eyes welled up anew.

"Oh, baby."

I flew down the stairs and into my mother's arms. My little petite mother, who was scarcely 5 feet tall, cradled my well over 6 foot form in her arms and rocked me back and forth. We dropped to the ground with our arms wrapped around each other as I sobbed into her shoulder. She ran her fingers through my hair and shushed me softly. I breathed her in, the soft smell of roses in her hair calming me, helping me find my center. I heard a throat clear, and looked up through my wet lashes to see my entire family looking back at me. They all wore matching worried expressions, with red-rimmed eyes. There was another man there that I had never seen before, looking a bit uncomfortable at the display in front of him.

I rose to my feet quickly, picking my mother up with me. "What happened?"

My mother gasped, looking up at me with an incredulous gaze. "Honey, I thought you knew, when you came down…"

I realized she must have misunderstood my confusion. I shook my head. "No, what happened when I tried to call you? That's the last thing I remember."

"Oh-" She cut off looking to my father.

"You had a panic attack son. The paramedics on the scene had to sedate you because you were hyperventilating. They released you to my care, and we brought you home to sleep it off." He looked apologetic as he spoke.

"Sleep it off?" I scoffed. "You should have woken me. We're wasting time. What's happening? Have they found anything? I can't sleep while my baby is out there with that-that-"

"I can fill you in now if you like, sir." The man in the corner made himself known for the first time to me.

I nodded to him and started walking into the living room, holding my mother's hand as we went. We situated ourselves in the couches and chairs around the room. My little sister Alice sat down next to me, grabbing my other hand. I gave her a reassuring squeeze and a probably less than believable smile. Or at least I tried. My face didn't seem to want to work that way. The corners of her lips went up just a little and she squeezed back.

Once we were all seated the officer cleared his throat to speak.

"I've already introduced myself to your family, but I'm Detective Marcus Scotts. I'm leading on the abduction case of Lily and Miss Swan. My partner, Detective Jonathan Aro is down at the station briefing Miss Swan's father. Turns out he's a police chief in a little town called Forks and he's helping to organize our efforts to find them."

"What's being done? Have you heard anything? Found the van? Have they been seen?" I was firing questions at him, I wanted all of this information and I was too impatient to calm down enough to get it.

He raised his hand in a gesture for me to stop interrogating him. "First, what's being done is the standard for abduction cases involving a child. There is an Amber Alert being broadcast across the state with their descriptions and the description of the kidnapper and his van. The story is all over the news, on every station. We have a tips helpline that has been set up just for this case to follow any leads. As is always the case in situations like these, we've gotten a lot of calls reporting black vans, but so far nothing concrete. CSI is still running the prints found on the magazine covers looking for a match. However, that process can take up to two days, supposing that whoever he is, he is in fact in the system."

I jumped up at that. "Two days! They could be in Canada by now! We don't have two days!"

"Edward, please." My mother murmured to me, trying to soothe me.

But I was not having any of that. "NO! We're just supposed to sit back and what? You expect me to just carry on waiting and hoping you get a hit on him, so we can look him up in the phone book? Knock on his door and ask for my daughter back? This is BULLSHIT!" I roared. "Should I just start praying now that we find them before he violates-"

"Edward, STOP!" My dad yelled at me. "Get all the facts from the man first, and sit down!" He lowered his voice again, down to a whisper. "Your mother…"

I looked back down at her and she was shaking with silent sobs with her arms wrapped around her body. She looked like she was trying to hold herself together. I sank back down into my seat next to her and gently unwrapped her arms replacing my own around her. "I'm sorry, Mom. Shh. I'm so sorry. Don't cry, Mom, please."

"Please," she whispered. "Please, don't say that. Don't even think it. That just can't happen. She's just a baby." She broke down anew, and I was officially a shit for a son.

I tried to console her. "I know Mom. You know me and my mouth. I never think first. We're going to find her in a couple of hours and she's going to be fine. I'm sorry. Please don't cry." I begged her.

She managed to get a hold of herself, and Detective Scotts decided it was time for him to continue on from where I interrupted.

"To address your concerns about Canada, the Border Patrol has been given a description of the van, along with the tag numbers on it. If he tried to get through them, he would be apprehended immediately. Personally, I wish he would be stupid enough to try. However, given that the abduction occurred over 5 hours ago, if he were going there he'd be there already. If we receive any tips around the borders of the state, leading us to believe he's crossed state lines, the FBI would then be brought in to head the investigation. Or if his name comes back with any other warrants in other states, insinuating he has ties to outside Washington, we would also be bringing in the FBI."

"As far as looking for him, I'm afraid to an extent what you said is true. We can't do anything until we know who we're looking for. But that doesn't mean you'll just be sitting around waiting for a phone call. You're going to be dealing with a lot of news coverage for this, and getting your story out there increases peoples' interest. Meaning they're more likely to help."

I stopped him there. "Why so much news coverage? Abductions happen everyday. You make it sound like we'll be on Good Morning America."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "That isn't exactly an impossibility, Mr. Cullen. I take it you are not familiar with the name Isabella Swan?"

"Oh my gosh!" My mother, Alice, and my sister-in-law Rosalie all exclaimed at the same time.

I exchanged bewildered glances with Emmett, Alice's husband Jasper and my dad. "No?" I said it as more of a question, because I seriously had no fucking clue what was going on.

"Isabella Swan, Edward! Aaagh! Jasper! Don't you remember that book that Rose and Mom went with me to buy last year? You made fun of me for camping outside of the bookstore to get my reserved copy signed." Alice looked completely exasperated, and for a second, things almost felt normal. Normal hyperactive Alice.

A look of recognition passed over Jasper's face. "Oh yeah. You spent the night in a tent in line with like 50 other people just to get in and meet her."

Emmett jumped in then. "Wait, Rose. Is that the same girlie book you're always reading about online? You're like obsessed with that thing!"

Rose rolled her eyes at him. "Girlie book." She muttered under her breath. "Yes and no, Em. I read extended stories online. I just like to read the stuff people have added to spice it up. But SHE is the author of the original story itself." She added as an afterthought. "And I'm not obsessed!"

He laughed at her. "Right, babe. You know you're on that computer at the law office all damn day." He furrowed his brows in thought. "So wait, she's the other woman? She was the one taken with Lily?"

And just like that reality crashed back down on us. We turned back to the detective, wanting more answers.

"Yes. That's the same Isabella Swan. She's rather private as authors go, the type that want their work out there and not their face. But news is already spreading fast, and once the various outlets latch hold of this, it's guaranteed to explode into a frenzy. And that's a good thing. It's harder to hide when everyone's looking for you. You'll most definitely be contacted to do interviews, and you'll probably have your pick of the litter. We have a liaison within the department that handles this sort of thing. Her name's Sharon Waters, and she's fierce. She'll be able to help you navigate the waters, so to speak."

"Her father's already agreed to do any interviews you lot agree on, so long as he's not put on the spot. Seems he's not the type to be in the spotlight, must be where Miss Swan gets it from. He's in the exact same boat as you, Mr. Cullen, and he'll do whatever it takes to get his little girl back too."

I gaped at him in shock at that statement, as it sunk in what that meant. I suddenly really wanted to meet Mr. Swan. "What's his name?" I asked.

"Charles Swan, goes by Charlie. And like I said, he's the Chief of Police of a little town called Forks a few hours west of here. Good man. Her mother's been contacted, but she lives in Florida with her husband, and won't be in Seattle until the morning. Her name's Renee Dwyer, and her husband's Phil." He informed me.

"Whoah. Phil Dwyer. From the Arizona Diamondbacks? Blew his knee out last year?" Emmett cut in, ever the sports buff. It was to be expected, he was the head physical therapist for the Mariners.

"Formerly of the Diamondbacks now. Just got signed with the Jacksonville Suns." The detective responded.

"They should stay with us." My mother's quiet voice piped in then, always so kind-hearted, trying to offer comfort.

_God, I love my mom._

Detective Scotts actually let out a little laugh at that, clearly surprised. He didn't know my mother. "Well, I'm sure you'd have to ask them about that ma'am."

"Edward, you should too. You shouldn't be alone here." My mom begged me, looking so concerned.

"That's probably best, Mom. I don't think I can stay here without…_her_." I breathed out the last of my agreement, ashamed that I couldn't even say her name without breaking down completely.

"You've also got three news vans parked out front right now, looking for an exclusive, at my last count. It's best to say nothing for now, until you've had a chance to talk things over with Ms. Waters. She'll help you figure who to talk to and what to say. She'll be available first thing tomorrow morning. And with any luck, it will take them a few days to find your parents' house," Det. Scotts added.

My father broke in, "Our community is gated actually. They shouldn't be able to enter without clearance from us." Never before had I appreciated the exclusivity of my parents' neighborhood until that moment.

"Good, good." Det. Scotts addressed me again. "I still need to take your official statement, but I understand if you're not feeling up to that tonight."

"No, I'm fine. I want to get it out while it's still fresh." I argued.

"Very well. We can do it here, at the station, or I can accompany you to your parents' house. It's your call."

I thought it over for a moment. "I think I'd like to head down to the station actually. I'd like to meet your partner and Chief Swan."

He nodded at me. "Do you need to collect anything to take to your parents'?"

It dawned on me then, that I was still in my scrubs from the day's work. I hadn't showered, and the last time I had eaten was noon of the previous day at work.

_Fuck. It's almost midnight, and I'm scheduled to be back at the hospital in seven hours._

"Oh shit, dad. Work. What am I supposed to do? I'm due on shift at 7, and I can't, dad, I can't work right now. I'm in no state, I'd probably kill somebody, I'd be so out of it." I started panicking.

My father shook his head at me. "Son, I've already taken care of that. I called Dr. Gerandy hours ago, explaining that you needed to take an emergency leave of absence. I had to tell him about Lily's abduction, but I didn't give any more details than that. He understands completely, and he said he can give you up to two months off, before you even need to worry about redoing this year's residency."

"Dad, with all due respect, I could give two shits about my residency at the moment." I informed him.

"Of course, son. Just filling you in on the facts." He told me calmly.

I felt bad for my flippant remark. "I'm sorry dad, I just-"

"No, son. I know." He just looked at me with complete understanding his eyes.

"So!" Alice chirped. "I bet you're glad I keep a wardrobe for you over Mom and Dad's aren't you? Everything you need should be stocked over there, but you probably ought to shower before you go anywhere. You really stink, Edward."

"Thanks so much Ali." I rolled my eyes at her. "So I guess I'll shower really quickly and then we'll head out?"

Everyone looked to be in agreement, so I headed upstairs to clean myself up. Once I was in my bathroom, I turned the water on in my shower. I stripped down quickly while the water heated up and steam filled the room. I stepped inside the stall, scrubbing myself furiously, eager to rid my body of the sweat and grime of the longest day of my life. I let the hot water stream down my face as I reached for some shampoo.

All of a sudden, I was surrounded by the lavender scent of Lily. My eyes flew open, the soap dripping down and burning them. I realized that I had accidentally grabbed her bottle instead of mine. The smell felt like a punch in the stomach, as I closed my eyes and breathed it in. I could see her dancing in my shower, singing all of her favorite Disney songs at the top of her lungs completely off key. She loved to take showers in my bathroom, because she said it made her a big girl. The bottle fell from my hands, and I opened my eyes to see that I was shaking violently.

All my emotions swirled inside me and caught up with me again. And I was just so _angry_. Angry at that man for taking my baby, and angry at myself for being unable to stop him. I was angry because I just _knew_ that my little girl had to be so scared right now. I was scared shitless because I had no idea where she was, or what that maniac would do to her. The need to hit something overpowered me again, and before I could realize my own actions I punched the shower wall. I hit again and again, until I saw blood trickle down the shower walls. The sight of it snapped me back to reality, and I turned off the water with no idea how long I had been in there.

I dried off quickly, wincing at the sight of my bleeding knuckles. My mom was going to have a fit. I flexed all my fingers, and at least I could tell I hadn't broken anything. I wrapped the towel around my waist, and stepped out of my bathroom. I was eager to get dressed and get down to the station. I wanted to see all the information they had been able to put together so far, and look through the tips coming in, if that was even allowed. The last thing I expected to see was Jasper sitting on my bed.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Jesus Christ, Jazz! What are doing up here? I could have been naked you know?"

He seemed fairly nonplussed by my reaction. "I heard some banging. I thought I'd check and make sure you're alright."

I bristled. I didn't think that about the fact that my whole family probably heard my episode. "I don't know Jazz. What do you think? Should I be al-fucking-right at the moment?"

"What was the banging?" he asked, totally ignoring my questions.

I rolled my eyes and started to walk into my closet. If he wasn't going to leave he was going to get a free show. "I got upset when I started thinking. It just kind of caught up to me all at once, and her shampoo… I just needed to hit something, okay?" I knew I wasn't making a whole lot of sense, but I didn't really feel like getting into my meltdown with the family therapist. I pulled a t-shirt over my head and pulled up a pair of boxer briefs. I grabbed a pair of jeans and walked back out towards him.

As I threw my legs through the pants, I confronted him on the head shrinking he was trying to pull. "I'm not really in the mood to talk about this just yet, alright man? I can't even think her name right now without having a near mental breakdown."

"I understand that, and I didn't really expect you to be ready just yet. I just wanted to make sure you knew that when you are ready, I'm here. We're all here, but if you need to really talk or have questions, come to me, okay man?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What questions are you expecting me to come to you for, Jasper? I mean, I get why you'd be the guy to unload on, since it's your specialty and all, but what exactly are you talking about?"

He pursed his lips and shook his head, breaking eye contact with me for the first time since I stepped out of the closet. "Just whatever I can help with, or help you try to understand," he said mysteriously and then rose up from the bed. I rubbed my hands into my eyes in frustration.

I was fully dressed now and we were both just standing there, staring at each other. I was trying to wrap my head around what the fuck this conversation was supposed to be about, but there was too much swimming around in my head already. I loved my brother-in-law, he was my best friend, but I was really not in the mood for any kind of mindfucking.

My father's muffled voice calling my name from downstairs broke the showdown between us, and I strode out of the room with Jasper trailing behind me.

My family was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, looking rather alive for the late hour. Detective Scotts informed me, "They've got a tip down at the station. They have a security video you need to see. We think it's the same man that took your daughter, but we'd appreciate your help ID'ing him to be sure."

I eagerly pounded down the stairs, ecstatic at this new information. "Are they with him? Where is the tape from?"

He shook his head sadly at me. "I'm sorry, no. The video is from a pharmacy robbery three weeks ago in Tacoma. They've emailed the recording to the station, and are in the process of faxing over a list of the medications and supplies they believe were taken."

I felt my shoulders slump in defeat. "I see. Well, let's get down there." I slipped my shoes on, and started to reach for my keys on the credenza table, when I remembered I didn't drive my car home.

"Um…Guys? Does somebody have my keys? I need to lock up."

Emmett reached into his pocket. "Sure man, sorry I forgot all about them. I drove your car over from the store."

I held out my hand to take them from him, forgetting about my scraped knuckles.

"Edward! What happened baby?" My mother looked at my hands horrified.

I sighed, knowing this was coming. I surrendered my hands over for her motherly inspection. "Nothing's broken. They look worse than they feel. I just lost it there for a minute, Mom. But I'm fine now. Well, I'm not fine, but I'm not freaking out at the moment. I'll be fine when we've got her home."

She looked up at me tearfully, cradling my face in her hands. "Okay, baby. Let's get a move on."

I opened my front door and was immediately greeted by flashing lights and shouts from the reporters camped out on my curb. I closed it again quickly, looking to Detective Scotts for some advice on how to make our way through the clusterfuck on my front lawn. I had completely forgotten about his mention of them.

"It's probably best to decide who's riding with whom now, so we can make a straight line for the appropriate cars," he said.

Surprisingly, Emmett took charge for once. He clapped his hands together. "Alrighty then. Our boy Mark here has his cruiser." Detective Scotts raised his eyebrows in amusement at this, "Rose and I came in my man-Jeep, Mom and Dad came in his smooth-ass Mercedes. Alice and Jasper came in her sweet-ass Porsche, but Eddie here still can't drive his stupid shiny Volvo until tomorrow…"

God, he knew how to get on my nerves. "What?! Dad I'm fine really-"

"Absolutely not, son. You know you can't drive for twenty-four hours after being sedated. I can't clear it in good conscience, son. It won't kill you to let someone else drive you over. I think the point is just to get there, don't you?" My dad quirked an eyebrow at me, making a valid point.

I groaned. Driving always helped calm me down; it gave me a sense of control. I definitely didn't feel in control right now, but my dad was right. I wasn't going to waste time arguing over something petty, when I could be finding my baby.

"You're right dad. So who's going to drive me to the station? I don't want to have to come back here if I don't have to."

"I'll drive you, Edward." Jasper's quiet voice offered.

I really didn't want Jasper to drive me, because we both knew he wanted to talk to me some more. But no one else was offering, and I wondered if this was planned. "Sure, Jasper. Thanks." I sighed resignedly.

Detective Scotts warned us to keep our heads down, and not to stop to speak to the reporters. My family formed a semi-circle around me to protect me from the newshounds, and we opened the door again to make our ways to our respective cars. The reporters threw questions at us left and right.

"Mr. Cullen, do you have any new information regarding your daughter's whereabouts?

"Mr. Cullen, is it true you attempted to overpower the gunman?"

_Ouch. That one stings. Because I should have._

"Mr. Cullen, are you in a relationship with Isabella Swan?"

"Mr. Cullen, were you injured at the scene?"

"Is it true you had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance?"

"Mr. Cullen, has the kidnapper issued any demands?"

"Is this a publicity stunt in anticipation of Ms. Swan's new book?"

_Motherfucker. Somebody must really want to get punched today._

"Mr. Cullen-"

I threw myself into the passenger seat and slammed the door, shutting out the rest of their questions. Jasper wasted no time starting the car and pulling out of there. The reporters that had followed us to the car jumped out of the way quickly as he drove off. We traveled in silence for a while, until I couldn't take it anymore.

"So?" I asked, irritated.

"So, what?" Jasper questioned, looking confused.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?"

He shook his head. "Only if you want to talk about something."

I rolled my eyes. "Cut the shit, Jasper. You must have had a reason for volunteering to take me. Were you going to explain what kind of questions I needed to be asking for my mental health? Are you keeping suicide watch to make sure I don't have a complete breakdown and go catatonic or psychotic?"

I could tell I was starting to irritate him with my sarcastic tone. I knew I should feel bad, and I realized I was taking out my frustrations on him unfairly. I knew he didn't deserve that, because he was a good-hearted person. But I couldn't find it in me to stop. I was so angry, and the person I wanted to take my frustration out on, the fucker I wanted to tear limb from limb, was God-knows-fucking-where with my little girl.

He gave me a sideways scathing look. "Edward, I wasn't trying to turn this into a counseling session. Honestly. I meant what I said. When _you're_ ready to talk, I'll be here. But I'd never try to force you. I am worried about you, but I didn't offer to take you so I could evaluate you or anything. To be honest, I knew Emmett would probably say something stupid, Rosalie and you don't always get along, Alice won't let anyone else drive the Porsche, and your mom's probably about to break down any minute, and she'll need your dad there for that. We don't have to say a word to each other the whole way there if you want. I'm not _just_ a psychologist, Edward. I'm also your best friend, and I want to be here for you, to help you out any way I can." A look of hurt tightened the corner of his eyes slightly.

I felt like shit instantly. "Fuck, Jasper. I'm sorry, man. I'm just so fucking angry and I don't know what to do with it. Even if you were trying to head shrink me, I shouldn't have been like that."

He held up a hand to halt my apology. "Don't sweat it, okay? I can't even imagine what you're going through on a personal level. On a professional level, I only came to you to give you an outlet."

"But seriously, Jazz? What questions were you talking about? I just can't let that go." I felt like I was missing something.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. "I just…I don't want to give you more to worry about right now. I see that I was premature in mentioning anything, but I have a feeling the damage is done." He looked at me from the corner of his eye. I nodded my head for him to continue. He sighed. "Are you concerned with the fact this man addressed her using a different name?"

That came out of nowhere. "Well of course I'm fucking concerned Jasper. The guy's clearly a nutcase."

He shook his head. "No. Are you concerned for _Lily_ that this man called her Abigail? The detective filled us in on what you'd told him so far while you were sleeping. This doesn't sound like a kidnapping for ransom. This man clearly believes those two are his family in some sense. He referred to himself as her daddy. In cases of abductions like these, especially with victims of such a young age-"

"Jasper, I swear to Christ if you finish that sentence I will throw you from this car." I seethed. My voice was quiet, but my tone was deadly, leaving no room for argument.

_How dare he? _

I was fuming. He couldn't possibly be suggesting that my Lily would ever believe that monster. She wouldn't forget who she was. She wouldn't forget who I was. She could never believe a monster like him could be her father. _Jesus_. Could she? She was only four. Who knows what he was filling her head with? I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to clear my head.

The remainder of the car ride to the station was spent in silence, and he parked right in front of the station. He pulled the keys from the ignition, and started to turn to get out.

"Wait."

He paused, but remained looking straight ahead. I knew Jasper well enough, as he knew me, that he wasn't angry at me for my outburst. He also knew I wouldn't be able to get this out while facing him, that I was vulnerable in this moment.

"What do I do?" I wasn't really sure exactly what I was asking, but I hoped he could say something, anything, to make me feel just slightly better.

He kept his gaze on the dashboard. "We won't know until we get her back. And Edward? No one in this family will rest until she's back at home. But in the meantime, I would suggest you power yourself with knowledge. Expect the worst, and embrace whatever form she comes back in. I know so many good therapists with experience in these exact situations, it's their specialty. Be patient for progress, and make sure you're getting help too. She's strong and very smart, Edward. And you're a fantastic father. Never ever doubt that."

"I didn't even try, Jazz. He was right there, and I just watched him take her. If I could have just-"

"Ah. I knew this was coming. You're never going to grow out of that self-loathing complex thing you have, you know? You need to address it, Edward, because it's ridiculous that you would even entertain the thought that there was anything you could have done. I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings, but he had a gun, Edward. A gun pointed at your daughter. And from what I've heard of him, I have no doubt he would have simply killed you in front of her, and then taken her anyway. So you can be at fault, if say, Lily's at fault as well."

I glared at him. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

He looked amused at my reaction, and it was really pissing me off. "I assume it was Lily's idea to stop at the store, right? If she hadn't wanted to go, you would have just gone straight home, or picked up Happy Meals on the way home or some shit. So do you blame her?"

"Whitlock, that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth. You know damn well it wasn't her fault, and even if she walked up to the man and _asked_ him to take her, I would _never _blame her. For anything."

He gave me a half-smile. "Then you're going to have to accept the fact that the only one at fault is the sick fuck of a man who took her, and no one else's. All that energy you would use to direct inward and hate yourself? Let it out, and use it. Use it to find her. Use it to get out your anger. Take advantage of Emmett's old punching bag in the basement. And I think it would be a really smart move on your part to get to know Charlie Swan. Because as worried as I am about Lily, as is everyone else in the family, none of us can even begin to feel the full spectrum of your pain right now. But that man in there? He knows. He knows exactly what you're feeling because he's feeling it too. Don't let yourself fall apart Edward, but don't internalize everything. Because you'll need to be whole for her when she comes home."

With that, he gave me a slap on the knee, and got out of the car. I sat there for a moment to collect my thoughts, and absorb what he was trying to get through to me. I knew I was brooding; I always had been, even as a young child. But I realized the truth of Jasper's words. It was a waste of time and energy to wallow in myself. Lily deserved more than that. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car to go into the station and look at the face of my worst nightmare in that video all over again.

We walked in together, meeting Alice at the front of the station. Little speed demon, she was, and I taught her everything she knew. She gave Jasper a kiss on the cheek, and then threw her tiny little arms around my neck. She was as short as my mother, only more petite. A complete waif of a woman. I picked her up off the ground and held her tightly to me. Ali and I had always been the closest. We couldn't be more different in personality, but we could complete each other's thoughts, and she somehow always knew when something big was going to happen to me. I wondered if she had a bad feeling about today. At difficult times in our lives, we fed off each other's strength, and right now I could feel how she was holding herself together for me. But I couldn't break down now.

I gave her one last squeeze and then set her back down on the ground. I looked down at her and I saw her pain written all over her face. Alice and Lily were thick as thieves, getting manicures together and other girlie things I knew nothing about. They were best friends, separated by an insignificant twenty years.

I reached out and grasped her hand tightly, and together we started the walk into the police station. We stepped through the glass doors of the precinct, and once inside, were greeted with a flurry of activity, despite the late hour. There were men and women in uniform scurrying about, and a very tired looking officer seated at the front entryway desk.

"How can I help you?" The less-than-energetic voice inquired of us.

Before I had time to respond, the glass doors behind us opened, with the rest of my family entering in. Detective Scotts wasted no time in ushering us down several hallways, until we reached what appeared to be the epicenter of activity in the building. There was a row of desks against the far left wall, with phones ringing off the hook. In the center of the room, there was a large clear dry-erase board with different pieces of information scribbled across it. There were pictures of Crazy Eyes and his van, a couple shots I recognized from the security video from the grocery store. There were a couple more there, though, that were completely new to me.

I followed closely behind Detective Scotts' feet over to a desk next to the board. He took a seat and started to pull from various file folders scattered across his desk. After a few moments of standing there awkwardly, he noticed my hovering. He glanced up at me and motioned for me to pull up a chair. I sat down quickly, and he proceeded to take my statement. Much of it I had already told him or Captain Williams, but I recounted every detail I could with his tape recorder sitting on the desk between us.

After we were done, he pulled out a laptop and started clicking away. After a couple of moments he turned the screen towards me. "This is the security video of the pharmacy robbery. While you start this, I'm going to go track down the list of medications stolen. They should have come in by now."

My heart raced as I saw Crazy Eyes again. He looked the same, only his hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he had a different shirt on. It was him, without a doubt, but I continued to watch in horror as he terrorized the pharmacists. He had them line up against a wall while he dumped bottles into a backpack. What frightened me the most was that he appeared to be looking for specific drugs, not just randomly dropping them into his bag. Was he an addict?

_Oh my god. _

What if he was going to use them on Lily? Or Bella even? I didn't realize my hands were shaking until Detective Scotts returned with a piece of paper and gave it to me. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, Mr. Cullen?"

I nodded, gulping audibly as I began to read over the stolen inventory.

Children's Tylenol

Children's Benadryl

Alka-Seltzer

Rubbing alcohol

Gauze

Immodium

Penicillin

Amoxicillin

Epinephrine

Aspirin

Oxycontin

_No. And he took the whole fucking stock. 80 mg, 60, 40, fucking hell. He could kill a horse with less._

I felt all the color leave my face. "Dad." I choked out. He was at my side in an instant. I handed him the list wordlessly, hearing his sharp intake of breath when he reached the last item.

"Detective?" I heard my dad question.

I looked up and was met with Detective Scotts and two more men with him I'd never seen before. He took the list back from my dad. "I'm sure you can see what we're most concerned with. Based on the things taken, we're led to believe he's intending on caring for them for some time. But the highly addictive properties of Oxycontin worry us, as well as the long term effects they can have on the body. You're both doctors, I'm sure I don't need to explain."

I shook my head violently. I was already reciting everything in my mind.

_Bradycardia, hypotension, circulatory collapse, respiratory arrest…_

"It's a well known tactic, in abduction cases. Drugging the victims forces them into submission, and once they're addicted, they can't leave."

"What kind of effects?" My mom's voice wavered.

"No, Mom. Please, no." I was shaking my head still, my hands ripping at my hair.

"Later, Esme." I heard my dad whisper.

Detective Scotts cleared his throat loudly. "Let me introduce you to my partner, Mr. Cullen." He gestured to the man directly behind him at his left. "This is Jonathan Aro, and he is technically the head detective in Ms. Swan's case, but we will be working directly with each other for both persons. This man beside him is Chief Swan, Ms. Swan's father."

Now that I looked at him again, I could tell he was her father. They had the same eyes, the same hair. Her hair was just more shiny, and her eyes had seemed deeper some how. Her skin was fairer, too… I shook my head from that train of thought, and stood up to shake his hand.

"Just Charlie's fine." His gruff voice said, twitching a spectacular porn 'stache as he spoke.

"Edward. Edward Cullen, Lily's dad." I felt my chin quiver, and cursed my voice for trembling at her name. I didn't want him to see me as weak, but as I introduced myself I saw his eyes shine a bit.

"And I'm Bella's," he whispered. He cleared his throat and looked away briefly, after giving my hand a firm shake.

I pointed to my family members as I introduced us quickly, eager to see what other information they had gathered. "Charlie, this is my mother Esme, and my father Carlisle. The big one is my brother Emmett, and standing next to him is his wife Rosalie. That's my little sister Alice, and her husband Jasper."

Alice sidled right up to him and gave him a big hug, completely taking the poor man by surprise. He didn't look like the hugging type, worn out flannel and jeans, and scuffed up working boots. Before I could apologize for her though, he recovered himself and patted her on the back, albeit awkwardly. His mouth twitched up into a little half-smile. I knew that feeling, I couldn't smile either. Not until Lily was home safe.

He backed away from her slowly, and nodded his head to everyone. "Nice to meet you all."

I turned to the detectives. "So what have you got so far?"

"Let me show you." Detective Aro started walking back towards the dry-erase board. "These are zoomed in freeze frames from the videos in the grocery store and pharmacy. They've been released to the news outlets. Unfortunately those phones ringing behind me are for the most part only reporters asking for interviews and information. Goddamn press are as bad as lawyers."

I glanced at Rose, and saw her suppressing a smile, but of course Emmett being Emmett couldn't let it slide. "Hear that babe? You're as bad as a reporter!"

Detective Aro widened his eyes, opening his mouth to apologize, but Rose held up a hand. "No, you're perfectly fine. But you never need to worry about me unless you're a deadbeat ex-husband trying to get out of paying child support."

He smiled at her. "Well, those lawyers are the kind I like. So anyway, we're waiting for the prints to come back, and we're fairly confident something should pop up, at least in the national database, if we don't catch anything within the state. His profile suggests this is not his first time breaking the law. I don't know if you've been made aware, but the state's database takes up to two days to find a match if there's one to be found. So for now, it's a waiting game. Either for a match or a sighting. So far, the tips we've had come in of sightings of the van or the abductor haven't panned out. I'm sorry we don't have any more news for you right now. There's really nothing more that can be done until we get something."

I fisted my hands in hair, so fucking tired, but at the same time really fucking wired.

"Charlie?" My mother's quiet voice called.

"Yes, um, Esme is it?"

She smiled up at him. "Where are you staying? You're not planning on traveling back to Forks, are you? At least not tonight?"

"No, I'm not going back tonight. I had some vacation time coming to me, so I've been able to take the next few days off at least. I, uh, I was planning on finding a motel somewhere close by. I suppose I could stay at Bells' place, but-" He cut off, swallowing heavily.

My mother beamed. "No, Charlie. You'll come stay with us. Alice and Jasper are going to be staying in her old room, along with Emmett and Rose in his. Edward will be there, and we have plenty of spare space. If we're all located together it will make receiving information that much faster. Now, do you want to follow us now, or would you like to ride along with one of us?" She looked at him, waiting for an answer. An answer, I had a feeling that she would not allow to be no.

_Alice had to get it from somewhere._

He blinked at her a few times. "I'd really hate to impose, it's not really any trouble to get a-"

"Nonsense, Charlie. And whenever Bella's mother and stepfather arrive, they're welcome to stay there as well. Let's head home, it's getting very late." She spoke firmly with authority, and he looked completely bewildered by this strange woman telling him where he was sleeping tonight.

"Come on, Charlie. You're tired, we're tired. You need your rest if we're going to find Bella and Lily." Alice walked up to him again, speaking with a softness and calmness I didn't see very often, and hooked her arm through his. "I'll ride with you and show you the way."

Emmett boomed out. "What about the Porsche?!"

She shrugged her shoulders at him. "You can take it, Emmett."

His eyes popped out of his head, but he clearly didn't want to say anything to make her change her mind. "Keys?"

She handed them to him without a second glance, and squeezed Charlie's arm. He was looking down at her completely entranced. It occurred to me that Alice was around the same age as Bella, and though they looked nothing alike, her presence probably brought Charlie some comfort. Besides, no one could resist the dual powers of Alice and Esme.

"Well, alright. If you're all sure…" He agreed hesitantly.

_See? No one._

With that decided we all trudged back out to our cars, with promises from the detectives to call the minute they had any news. I was completely drained at this point, the nap from earlier long forgotten by my body. With nothing to go on for now, all adrenaline had emptied from me. Jasper and I traveled home in silence, not tense this time, just exhausted. I made it inside and barely got to my room before I collapsed in my bed, clothes and all, asleep before my head hit the pillow.

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	7. Chapter 7 The First Night Pt 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all.**

**A/N: I am BLOWN AWAY by the response after last chapter's posting. You guys broke 200 reviews! EdwardsBloodType is a lucky lady to have such amazing readers and reviewers, and I thank her for rec'ing me on her beautiful piece, HIGH ANXIETY. Thanks for sharing your fans with me. Just a reminder. My story is rated M. Rated M for language, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, as well as drug use. Just a heads up. Thank you to all the reviewers and alerts and favorites. **

Chapter 7: The First Night Pt. 2

BPOV

While he drove away he barked out instructions. "Both of you lay down. It's going to be a bit of a drive. And I don't want to hear any blubbering. It might make me feel you don't want to be with me," he taunted.

"And the back doors are locked now, so don't get any stupid ideas," he warned.

"Oh…and Vicki?" He paused, waiting for me to respond to my 'name'.

I squeezed Lily once, and I gritted out, "Yes?"

His face contorted into an evil sneer, his eyes locking with mine in the mirror.

"Rest while you can. I've missed you."

* * * * * * * * *

We drove for what felt like hours, the sun had set what seemed like ages ago. We were on a stretch of highway that had absolutely no streetlights, making me think we must be far out of Seattle. All I could see was dark from my place on the floor of the van, too afraid to look around in case he caught me. Lily was curled up next to me. She finally cried herself to sleep after a while, and she looked so peaceful in her slumber. My lip trembled as I watched her sleep, knowing how awful it would feel to wake up to this nightmare.

I had no idea where he was taking us or what he was planning on doing to us. Did he want money? I made a good living as an author, but I didn't think he even knew who I was. He appeared to be totally unbalanced, living in this alternate reality where I was _Victoria_. I cringed internally as I recalled his words. _"Rest while you can."_ What did THAT mean? _"I've missed you." _I did NOT like the sound of that. If he tried…_that_…I would have to fight back. Wouldn't I?

Once again my thoughts looped around to surviving to protect Lily.

_For all you know, he's taking you both out to the backwoods to shoot you in the head._

_True._

But he mentioned 'home' in the store. He said we were going home. If we were going to a suburban area, I had a better chance at escaping and getting help.

_Oh my god, my mom is going to flip._

I couldn't even think about my parents at the moment.

_My dad. He's all alone. At least Renee has Phil…_

_STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM RIGHT NOW!_

_Right._

Alright, so I didn't think he was taking us to the backwoods to shoot us. Yet. But what did he want with us? Was he expecting us to play house, and we would live as long as we went along with it? And who were Victoria and Abigail? I could guess that Victoria was his wife/girlfriend/baby mama and Abigail was his daughter. The way he looked at her…he really looked like he loved her. As much as a crazy psychopath could love anyone that is. At least he didn't seem to look at her sexually. THAT would happen over my mother-fucking dead body.

_No, he missed YOU, remember? _

_No more thinking about that either._

_Right. Back to Victoria and Abigail._

Who were they? Where were they? He couldn't seriously believe we were these people. I assumed they must have run away from him, for him to think he had found them. What would happen to us if they came back? I was not stupid enough to believe that even if I could convince him we were not them he would just let us go and resume his search. I really thought the safest avenue forward was pretending to be them. If he was taking us to a house, there had to be a way out eventually. As soon as his guard was down, or he was asleep I could turn his gun against him. Or maybe there would be a kitchen with knives. Hell, if I could just surprise him from behind with a lamp over the head, that would work.

"It won't work."

_Ohmyfuck I'm not talking out loud am I? No. Play it cool Bella._

"What won't work?" I asked back innocently.

"Whatever it is you're planning in that mousy little head of yours. By the way, I kind of like what you've done with your hair. But I can practically smell your gears grinding, and you look too happy with yourself. I thought I'd just let you know now. It won't work. I've covered my bases well. You'll see soon enough."

I rolled my eyes at this. "Trust me, I know I don't look happy right now. I was just thinking about food. Are you planning on feeding us? Because L-Abby," I caught myself just barely, "is going to be hungry when she wakes up."

_Nice with the quick thinking._

_Thank you._

_But probably not a good move on the eye roll. Crazy man with gun remember?_

_Right._

He huffed at me annoyed. "Of course I'm going to feed her. What kind of father do you take me for?"

_Buddy, you sooo don't want the answer to that one._

"You, on the other hand, have gotten a little thick in our time apart. As part of your punishment for trying to leave me, you will not be eating this evening."

_Thick?! What the fuck are you on, asshole! I tip the scales at like 115!_

Scowling inwardly, I just nodded at him.

_Don't piss the man off and get Lily's food taken away too._

"Glad to see you're understanding your place. Although I hope you still have some fight left in you. You know how I enjoy the breaking-in process. But I can see it won't take much. You are weak, and I will love reminding you exactly how much weaker you are than me."

_I really don't like the sound of that._

"We'll be home soon. When I stop the van, you'll wait here with Abby until I finish siphoning the tank."

I shot my eyes to him in question, wondering why he would do that. He caught my gaze and smirked.

"You weren't listening to me before were you? I've covered my bases. I've stocked up the house with enough food to last us through until the spring. Don't worry, I'll hide the gas somewhere safe, in case of an emergency. I've got plenty of your medicine. But where we will be, you will stand no chance on foot. I don't have neighbors, baby, you know that. Wouldn't do for anyone to be close enough to hear you scream."

His eyes shot to mine, and he was obviously satisfied at the sheer terror I'm sure he found shining through my eyes. I averted my eyes, but I could still feel the coldness of his stare.

"You're not getting away again." He said the words with such finality, it made my entire body shiver. He looked really angry, and I was seriously starting to wonder if he truly thought I was someone else. That was an extremely unnerving thought. If he was that crazy, what was he capable of? I really didn't want to find out.

_It's starting to sound like you won't have much of a choice._

_Not. Helping._

_Sorry._

I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. _Now I wish I went with Renee to those fucking yoga classes. _I needed to center myself. I was stronger than this. A few hours of his threats and my conflicting thoughts were not enough to break me down. I couldn't lose hope. Lily needed someone to be strong for her right now, or I had a bad feeling neither one of us would survive him. But what was that comment about medicine? What was this Victoria sick with?

_What is his name anyway? How do I even ask that if he thinks I already know him?_

"Um…"I began. "Obviously she's going to call you daddy, but should I address you formally? I don't want to be disrespectful…" I trailed off, hoping he'd fill in the blank for me and not make me guess. Because I could only think of the names Manson and Hannibal. Neither of which I thought he would appreciate.

He smiled at me. _Fucking smiled! _"Just James will be fine during the day, baby. What else would you call me? But remember, at night before bed, you don't get to speak at all. Not without consequences."

I gulped. "B-b-bed?"

He rolled his eyes, clearly amused. "You know Abby can't sleep alone, Vicki. She has bad dreams. But I need my sleep. You'll be in her room with her, like always." And before my eyes, his mood shifted again. He glared at me. "And this time, the door will be locked. I've added bars to the windows. There's no getting out this time."

We rode in silence for a while longer. I was really fucking terrified of what lay ahead of us, and wishing I had eaten more today, since I now knew I wouldn't be eating in the near future.

_Yeah. 'Cause apparently I'm 'thick'. Asshole._

Lily started to stir next to me, and I squeezed her closely, to assure her of my presence. She blinked up at me slowly, totally confused. I saw the moment she realized what was happening, and my heart broke for her all over again. Her eyes looked almost jade as they filled with tears, and I tried to hush her as quietly as possible. James noticed the movement though, and started in.

"Abby! You're awake, sweetie! We're almost home, and when we get there Mommy will make you and Daddy dinner. Then we're going to need to go straight to bed, because it's past your bedtime."

_Motherfucker has the gall to actually sound chipper. _

Her little chin started to quiver, but she stayed silent. She nodded to show she'd heard him, and then returned her face into my chest.

"Bella?" she whispered to me.

"SHH!" I hissed at her. I felt like terrible for doing it, but I couldn't risk him hearing her call me that. "Remember what I said, _Abby_? When we get to bed tonight, we'll talk more, okay?"

She actually looked fearfully at me, and I wanted to apologize right then, but I couldn't. James wasn't stable, and I didn't know what he was completely capable of. I tried to show her how sorry I was with my eyes, begging her to just wait, begging her for maturity beyond her years. She didn't look like she completely understood, but she tried for me anyway.

"Mommy?" She was so timid, a shadow of the laughing tickle bug she had been just a few hours earlier.

I simultaneously cursed myself, cursed James, thanked her, and apologized to her for going along with this fuckery. I nodded to her, trying to encourage her.

"Will you be with me?" She was so unsure, so afraid.

I looked her straight in the eye. I kept my voice soft, so he wouldn't hear, but spoke firmly. "I will never leave you. Never ever."

She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly. "I love you." She whispered so softly I barely heard it, but I did. And I actually felt my heart grow warmer inside my chest.

I buried my face in her neck and hair. "I love you too. Always."

I felt the van dip then, and the road became very bumpy. "Hold on, girls. We're almost there now."

I felt Lily fist her hands tighter into me, and I tried to maneuver myself under her, to protect her from being thrown about the van. After several minutes of being jostled around, the van came to a stop. "It'll just take a minute." He hoisted himself out of the driver's side door, shutting it behind him. I wanted desperately to try to find out where we could be and get some clue as to our whereabouts. But he hadn't said we could sit up, and I wasn't about to test him. He almost seemed to be in a good mood.

"Lily?" I whispered.

She looked up at me, with her eyes open wide. Poor Little Thing, she was so confused.

"I just needed to remind you that we can't call each other our real names around James. He'll get mad, but when we're alone, as long as we're quiet, we'll talk, okay? I'm sorry if I scared you earlier or hurt your feelings. We're going to get you some dinner, and then we'll go to bed together. Is there anything you're allergic to? I don't know what he's going to have me make for dinner."

She shook her head, just as her stomach rumbled loudly, singing in chorus with mine. I smiled at her. "Our tummies are talking to each other."

"Hello, Lily's tummy. You sound hungry." I called out in a silly deep voice.

She giggled back at me, a real giggle just like I'd heard at the store in the midst of all those apples. My cheeks hurt I smiled so big at her. Our happiness was cut short however, when the back doors of the van were thrust open. James was standing there, reeking of gasoline, with dirty hands.

"Come on, ladies. We're home."

He reached out a hand, presumably to help Lily down, but I didn't want him touching her if I could help it. I pretended not to notice it, and jumped down with her in my arms, ignoring his scowl as I did so. I followed behind him towards a log cabin, glancing around as subtly as I could. I saw now why our ride in was so bumpy. There was no clear road leading up to where we were, it appeared he had simply driven through a wide patch of trees. There was forest all around us, but that just made me believe we were most likely still in Washington. Really we could be anywhere. Canada, Oregon…I was kidding myself. I was _hoping_ we were still in Washington, but I had no idea. And skilled hikers got lost and died every year in the forests here. My senior year of high school, I got lost in them myself. It took a search party hours to find me.

_And he took the gas. What the fuck do I do?_

We walked through the front door before him, and he shut the door with a bang that echoed around the small living room. He pulled a long chain from around his neck, hidden beneath his shirt, and my eyes widened as I saw what he had there. Keys. A lot of keys. He turned to the front door and I saw the deadbolts for the first time. Four to be exact, all with separate keys required to lock them, _from the inside_. I felt my body start to shake, and I held onto Lily tightly to try and calm myself. I looked wildly around the room and saw the bars he mentioned outside the very few windows in the cabin. I tried to see if there was anything that could be used as a weapon, but I couldn't see anything at first glance. He turned around and smirked at me as he put the chain back underneath his shirt.

"So. Dinner?"

"Um, right. Was there something specific you wanted me to make?" I questioned him timidly, afraid to set him off, and really afraid he was going to ask for his _favorite_ or some shit. He walked past me into the kitchen, and I was disappointed to not see a set of knives anywhere.

"I'll let Abby decide. What would you like Mommy to make, baby?" He looked at her so sweetly, I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

She shrugged her shoulders. "P'sghetti's?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, and then shot his eyes to me. "Tomorrow you're going to start on her lessons again, Victoria. She can't even speak properly. That's your fault."

Her eyes widened, and she looked like she was about to cry. "I'm sorry. It's a hard word." Her voice trembled as she spoke.

I interrupted her, not wanting to let her argue with him. "That's fine. Lessons start tomorrow. Understood." I swallowed thickly and looked around the kitchen, trying to figure out where to start. I didn't know where anything was, and I had an idea that James wasn't a patient man. He motioned towards a door behind where he was standing, which I assumed was the pantry, no matter how much I wished it was a way out. I started to walk over to it, when he stopped me.

"God, Vicki. You can't cook with her wrapped around your neck. Give her to me."

She whimpered, and I had to brace myself to keep my knees from buckling. I couldn't give her to him. I couldn't. I tried to think of something, anything to say that would beg him off. "I was going to teach her how to cook the spaghetti, actually. She won't be a bother. Besides, I'm sure you must be tired after such a long drive. You should rest. It shouldn't take long." I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't be mad or take her from me.

He shrugged thoughtfully. "I could rest. But I don't like your tone," he warned. "Don't ever presume to tell me what to do. If you've got something to say, don't tell, ask. Want to try again?" He taunted.

I swallowed my anger, clenching my teeth so hard they hurt. "Are you tired from your drive James? Would you like to rest while I make dinner with Abby?"

"Yes. Yes I am. I'll be resting on the couch. Call me when it's ready. Don't keep me waiting." He strode out of the kitchen without another word. The living area of the cabin was basically all one large room, with no walls dividing the kitchen or dining area from the living room. He plopped down on the sofa and set his feet in front of him on the coffee table. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I realized I hadn't started moving yet.

I turned away from him and walked into the pantry and did a double take. The 'pantry' was basically a small spare room with shelves from floor to ceiling. Every shelf was filled to the brim with cans and boxes. It reminded me of a nuclear bunker. Canned fruits, canned vegetables, canned beans, canned meat…_ewwww_, boxes of pasta, bags of rice, bags of dried beans, powdered milk, powdered eggs, _again, ewwww,_ flour, baking products, jars of sauces, jams, and peanut butter. It was completely stocked. His earlier words rang through my mind. _"To last us through the spring."_

_Fucking hell. He's fucking serious. What do I do?_

_Right now, you make dinner so he won't get pissed off._

Dinner, right. I grabbed a box of spaghetti and a jar of marinara sauce and walked out. I set the food down on the counter and dragged a chair over from the kitchen table to the stove and set Lily down on it. She was reluctant to release her death grip on me, but I whispered to her that I had to put her down to make dinner. I started looking for a pot to boil the pasta with, trying not to bang around too much. I found one, and rinsed it out quickly in the sink. I filled it with water and set it on the stove to heat. "Never, ever touch the stove, okay? It's hot and it could burn you."

She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head. "I know how to cook already, B-mommy." She glanced over at James, but he didn't appear to even be listening to us at all.

I looked her up and down. "Oh, you do, do you? Well if you know how to cook, missy, then tell me what I need to do while we wait for the water to boil."

She smirked at me. "You need a middle-sized pot to heat up the sauce. And you need a colamander to drain the noodles once they're done. Noodles need six minutes to be cooked a dentist."

I couldn't help it. I snorted at her. "Okay, first off, wow. You weren't kidding. Second off, you're right. I do need a _colander_. So while I look for one, can you please explain to me what dentists have to do with pasta?" I started rummaging around for a colander in the lower cabinets near where I had found the pot.

"No. Not dentists. _A dentist_. It means not too hard or soft." She said this so matter-of-factly, like I was an absolute idiot for not getting it.

I cracked up. That was the cutest damn thing I'd ever heard. And this girl was smart! I didn't learn the meaning of al dente until I was at least eight or nine, thanks to Renee's god awful cooking skills. I felt a pang at the thought of Lily having to cook for herself because her dad or mom couldn't. "Do you cook because you like it, or because you have to?" I asked her.

"Because I love it! Me and my da-" My eyes widened as she cut herself off, both of us looking to James to see if he had started listening. He was reading some book, probably Kidnapping for Dummies, and seemed to be off in his own world. I gave her a small smile to show her everything was okay.

"Tell me later?" I whispered.

She gave me a smile in return, and nodded. We finished making dinner together in relative silence, each enjoying the other's company. It didn't take long, but by the end of it my stomach was grumbling loudly, and I feared it might try to eat itself. I was not looking forward to watching them eat when I couldn't, but at least she would get something in her stomach.

I debated the best way to get James' attention. I decided following him to the letter would be best for now. I walked over to him and cleared my throat. He glared up at me, but didn't make a move or speak to me.

"Dinner's ready. Would you like to come eat now?" I tried to ask sweetly, but it probably came out a bit more strangled and forced than I intended.

He rolled his eyes, but got up, and strode past me into the kitchen. He took a seat at the table, apparently waiting to be served. I followed after him and began searching the above counter cabinets for a bowl or plate. Lily apprehensively took a seat across from him, while I served two bowls for them. I set hers down first, and then gave him his. Lily realized that I wasn't eating, and I struggled to find something to tell her so she wouldn't worry about it. I knew that she knew I was hungry because of our 'tummy conversation' in the car. "Where's your dinner?"

Before I could open my mouth, James cut in. "Abigail, your mother did a bad thing when she took you from me. Remember when I told you that being bad gets punishment? Well, tonight, she won't be eating because she was bad and that's her punishment."

She looked heartbroken, and I worried she wouldn't want to eat herself, but the asshole apparently wasn't done.

"And she's gotten fat."

My mouth dropped open at his statement, and tears burned in my eyes. I turned to Lily, and looked from her to her plate, silently encouraging her to eat. Her own eyes were filled with tears, but she looked down and started to eat. I was unsure of what to do with myself while they ate, so I decided cleanup was probably my best option. I had discovered the Tupperware cabinet earlier when I was exploring the kitchen, and grabbed two containers to place the leftover pasta and sauce into. I opened the refrigerator only to find it completely empty, save the door, which was filled with large bottles of prescription medicine inside of a locked Plexiglas case.

_What the fuck was she sick with? And what is he going to make me take?_

I recovered from my shock and set the leftovers inside, and then started washing the dishes. After setting them to dry in the rack next to the sink, I was happy to find that Lily had managed to eat everything I'd given her. I was unhappy to find that James had not choked to death. He sat back in his chair, not moving, simply staring at me. The look in his eye was hungry, but he didn't look like he wanted any more food. I grabbed his bowl and washed it quickly, and then picked up Lily's to wash it as well. He stayed seated, drumming his fingers on the table, eyeing me speculatively. I wasn't sure what he was trying to figure out, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't like it.

After I finished the dishes, I stayed by the sink, simply turning around to face them. The atmosphere was thick with tension, and I was terrified of his next move. It felt like a waiting game, and I was deathly afraid of the consequences if I gave in first. Before I could break, however, Lily let out a big yawn, that didn't really sound totally believable. We both looked at her, the trance broken.

"Oh, Abby. You must be so tired, baby. Vicki, take her to bed."

"Um…Daddy? I need to go potty." She barely spoke above a whisper.

"Come on, baby. Let's get you to bed." He stood up and we dutifully followed him down a small hallway with three doors. He stopped at the first door on the left, and waved us in. "Go on, you two. Victoria, when I wake you tomorrow, I will give you your medicine, and then you will start breakfast. During the meal, we will discuss the plans for the day. Kisses for Daddy now, please."

A lump formed in my throat instantly, but I scooped Lily up anyway. I leaned over and forced my lips to pucker slightly, trying to aim for his cheek. But he turned at the last second and plunged his tongue into my mouth briefly, before turning to Lily and stretching his neck out to her. She looked at me once, and then gave him the quickest peck ever in history. Her lips had hardly touched his face, before I jerked her away and walked into the room.

Once inside, I turned to face him, and saw the door for the first time. _Deadbolt with a key on both sides. Of fucking course._ "Good night, girls."

"Good night, James."

"Good night, Daddy."

He closed the door on us, eclipsing us in darkness, with only a bit of moonlight streaming in through the small window in the room. _The small window with bars. This really fucking sucks._ I found a light switch on the wall next to the door, and flicked it on. Checking out the room for the first time in detail, I saw a double bed, and two small doors on the farthest right wall. The open one appeared to lead into a bathroom. I carried her over to it, and turned the light on so she could use it. I started to leave to give her some privacy, but she called out terrified. "Please, stay!" I nodded slowly at her and started investigating the cabinets.

I found toothpaste and toothbrushes, thankfully still unopened in their packages. I tore those open desperately, eager to get his disgusting taste out of my mouth. As I brushed my teeth harshly, I continued to open the drawers and medicine cabinet. The medicine cabinet held antiseptic and wound coverings, and various children's medicines. Underneath the sink were rolls of toilet paper, but unfortunately no rat poison or bleach. _So poisoning him won't be an option either, then. _

There was a small shower stall with some generic shampoo and bar soap on the tile floor. _No razors. AAAGH!_ As gross as I felt, I didn't like the idea of getting naked with him anywhere in the house. I probably had to ask permission for that, anyway. Lily flushed the toilet, and I picked her up so she could wash her hands in the sink. I went to the bathroom quickly as well, while Lily brushed her teeth. After I washed my hands, we walked out together into the bedroom.

I opened the door next to the bathroom and found a closet full of clothes, the top rack was filled with women's clothes, and the bottom filled with children's clothing. It looked to be about our size, the women's clothing slightly smaller than my own. Across from the bed, I saw a dresser I had missed the first time seeing the room. Inside were pajamas and underwear and socks. I felt slightly squicky about putting on another woman's underwear, but my options were limited. We changed quietly, until I heard a gasp when I lifted off my shirt. I pulled it over my head and looked at her questioningly, but her gaze was focused on the tattoo on my side. I poked her in the tummy. "I told you lilies were my favorite flower." She giggled and finished changing. We padded over to the bed silently.

Once we were tucked in together, I tried to scramble for conversation. There was so much to learn about each other.

"So," I started. "Tell me all about cooking with your daddy."

She beamed at me. "He's a doctor, so we can't always do it, but when he's home in time, we go to the store and get all the stuffs we need for cooking. And I always get to pick what we eat, and I can cook EVERYTHING. And my daddy says I cook the best food he's ever eated, and that it's even better than restermonts."

I smiled at her. "I bet it is. What's your favorite thing to cook?"

"P'sghetti's." Her smile faltered. "I'm sorry you didn't get to eat any tonight. Are you hungry?"

I debated whether lying would be acceptable in this situation, but I wanted to be honest with her. I didn't want to oversimplify his actions. I wanted her to understand the wrongness of his actions, so she didn't adjust to his way of thinking. _God, I wish I took more than two Psych classes in college._ "I am, but I'll be okay until tomorrow. You'll get the chance to make p'sghettis for me again. Okay?"

Her smile didn't return. "I can't say it right. And then you'll get in trouble and it'll be all my fault." Her eyes filled with tears, and her soft voice cracked.

"NO." I spoke firmly. "It will ALWAYS be HIS fault if he 'punishes' me in any way. He is a very bad man, and I'm pretty sure he must be crazy, too, if he thinks we're somebody we're not. We will both have to do our best to obey him for now, but you are never to believe what he says. I know I'm not fat, and I'm not Victoria. And I know you're very smart, and you're not Abigail. I don't know how, but we will get you home to your mommy and daddy."

"Just daddy. I don't have a mommy."

_Shit._ "Oh. I'm sorry. What happened to her?" I asked softly.

"She didn't want me. I heard my Aunt Rose and Uncle Em talking about it one time, when I was sleeping over at their house. Aunt Rose was mad, cuz she saw her one day or something. She was calling her a bunch of names, and Uncle Em was trying to make her be quiet. But I don't know her name, or what she looks like. I don't think my daddy has any pictures of her anywhere. I've looked before, cuz I wanted to know. But after I heard Aunt Rose yelling I decided I don't care about her anymore. My daddy wants me. He says I'm his princess, and he sings be The Little Mermaid songs because she has red hair like me."

I was totally taken aback. How awful for her to have to hear that her own mother didn't want her? And what could I even say to that? "Um, I guess you're better off with just your daddy, because she must be not very smart to not want you." I smiled at her gently, and she smiled back. "So is Ariel your favorite princess? Mine is Belle, because she's got brown hair like me, and our names sound alike."

Just like that we launched into a game of twenty questions, and I learned all about Lily Autumn Cullen, age 4. I learned about all of her favorite everythings, and how she spent her days. I learned she had a HUGE family, and I made a note to myself to question her more about them later. After a while her answers started coming out slurred and soft, so I sang her Disney songs to lull her to sleep.

Once she was snoring softly beside me, I lay staring up at the ceiling thinking. I knew I needed to sleep, but my mind couldn't wind down. My head was swimming with thoughts. How could we escape from here? Could I overpower him? What if we really were stuck here? I couldn't let her forget about her real family. I needed to remember my family. I was so scared. So scared of what he might do to us, scared I would never see my dad again. I felt a coldness on my face, and realized there were tears there, I was unaware I was shedding. Once I realized I was crying, it was like a dam had burst. I lay there, in that small bed, Lily and I clutching each other like lifelines, and cried myself to sleep, wishing I could wake up and it could all just be a nightmare.

**Reviews get teasers**

**Fic Rec's**

**The Screamers by Kiyaraven**

**The Woods Are Lovely, Dark, and Deep by bananapancakes7**

**Ethan Church by dryler **


	8. Chapter 8 Day 3 July 19th Pt 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM owns all.**

**A/N Holy Moses! You guys broke 300! Thank you all very much for your reviews! I've got people adding on story alerts and favorites everyday, so thank you to all of you as well. After such an amazing response, I just had to post a day early! EdwardsBloodType is responsible for this beta'ed chappie. Thank you to her. Fic Rec's at the bottom. Also just a note, I have never worked for a police dept, CPS, or hospital, and I'm not a psychologist. To top it all off, I've never been to WA! This stuff comes to you from internet research, Wikipedia, Yahoo!maps and too much Law and Order.**

**I was going to try and post EPOV and BPOV together, but the chapter was up to like 30 pages, and I was nowhere near done, so I'll be posting the BPOV separately.**

**Also, thank you to Jessica0306 for starting a thread for this story over on the Twilighted forum.**

**Link is http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8097**

Chapter 8: Day 3, July 19th

EPOV

With that decided we all trudged back out to our cars, with promises from the detectives to call the minute they had any news. I was completely drained at this point, the nap from earlier long forgotten by my body. With nothing to go on for now, all adrenaline had emptied from me. We travelled home in silence, not tense this time, just exhausted. We made it inside and I barely got to my room before I collapsed in my bed, clothes and all, asleep before my head hit the pillow.

* * * * * * * *

I shuffled into my parents' kitchen, following the aroma of fresh coffee. My mother was standing in front of the stove, scrambling some eggs and talking with Renee. She and her husband had arrived yesterday, and were staying with us in our second guest room across the hall from Charlie. Every room in the house was full except for Lily's. That door was shut.

I worried things might be awkward, not knowing the dynamics of Renee and Charlie's relationship, but they had apparently been divorced for over twenty years. They weren't close friends, but there didn't seem to be any animosity between them. I was shocked to meet Phil, who hardly looked older than Emmett. By my math, Renee had to be well over forty to have a twenty-five year old daughter, but Emmett told me Phil was only thirty-two. Whenever Renee and Charlie were in the room together, I tried to picture them as a couple, but I just couldn't make it work. The woman walked around _gathering her chi _for Christ's sake. She dressed like she just walked out of a New Age convention, and I had not seen Charlie wear anything besides flannel since I met him, not even for our interviews with the news stations yesterday.

_Ugh. The interviews._

When I woke up yesterday, my stomach was rumbling so loudly that I could actually feel it moving. I found it hard to actually eat though, not knowing if Lily had anything to eat where she was. I made myself force down some breakfast, before I gave myself a headache, only to promptly throw it back up again right after meeting with Sharon Waters at the station. Just discussing what needed to be said and seeing the picture of Lily they had selected to release made me lose my shit.

It was from my birthday last month, and Lily had the biggest grin on her face after she gave me my gift. It was a homemade pencil holder for my desk, made from a jam jar that she decorated it with glitter and paint. It was the most hideously beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and it was my favorite present of the whole day. She put so much work into it, and she was so proud of herself. My mom snapped the picture, and it was my favorite candid of her ever.

Sharon explained to us that we wanted to first conduct interviews with the local stations that would rebroadcast out across the state, before advancing to the national media. It would be more beneficial, she explained, to know the identity of the kidnapper so we could use the attention to our advantage. She also said that the national media likely wouldn't be interested until they had been gone longer. That comment was what started my stomach rolling. They had already been gone _too_ long. Every minute of the day I was holding out hope for the phone call that said they'd been found. Every time the phone rang, I was bitterly disappointed.

I understood what Marcus had meant when he said she was fierce. She laid down the law with the reporters, disallowing any questions that were overly intrusive, or irrelevant to the abduction itself. She didn't even give them the chance to be asses; she gave them a list of what they were allowed to ask. My family sat with me while I answered each set of questions for all four of the major news stations.

I briefly described Lily's personality, and what had transpired at the grocery store. I pled with the kidnapper to return them safely. They showed two short clips from the security videos, one from inside the store, and the other of the van in the parking lot. Charlie sat next to Alice with my family, and Renee and Phil sat together. Renee described Bella in short detail, but broke down during all four interviews. I watched them play later that evening. They concluded the interview piece with the photo of Lily from my birthday, and a shot of Bella taken from the inside jacket of one of her books. They displayed the hotline number, and moved onto the next story.

_The hotline number. What a fucking joke._

Every single call that had come through had not panned out. Little old ladies that were convinced their neighbor's black van was his, concerned parents that had seen men with long blond hair at grocery stores, but no real evidence that they had been seen. It was like they had disappeared off the face of the earth.

I had spent the majority of the previous day at the police station, trying to familiarize myself with everyone. We were now on a first name basis with Marcus, Jonathan, and Sharon. I had met briefly with the assistant district attorney, Samuel Caius. That man made _me _want to never break the law. Very intimidating.

I helped sift through the tips coming in through the hotlines, and worked on making fliers with Alice. We created one of Lily and Bella, and a sort of wanted poster of Crazy Eyes. I really fucking wanted to find out who this asshole was.

_And then I wanted to find him, get my daughter, and kill him. Slowly._

_Then revive him, and kill him again._

The license plates had come back registered to an old man named Alistair Carson living in Kent. No one was found at his address there, and the neighbors nearby couldn't remember the last time they had seen him. The milk in his refrigerator had expired two and a half weeks ago, so the detectives believed he must have been missing for some time. He was somewhat of a recluse apparently, with no next of kin able to be found. The police there were handling the case as a Missing Persons.

I was brought out of my musings by my mother asking me if I was hungry enough to eat. She was so worried about me. I missed a few meals, and she thought I was wasting away. Really, I only wanted coffee, but I didn't want to upset her. Last night I had heard her crying in her room with my father. I struggled to produce a smile for her. "Sure mom, some eggs would be great."

The way she beamed at me, I could have announced the cure for cancer. I walked over to the coffeepot and started pouring a cup. Renee walked up behind me and rested her hand on my shoulder. I didn't bother to turn around, just sighed as I waited for her to _check my aura_. She squeezed gently to let me know she was done, and I turned around to give her a small smile, but it probably resembled more of a grimace.

"Your grays are threatening to overpower you, Edward. Keep the yellow of your hope alive." She smiled at me sweetly, and I had to bite back a smart comment. She continued in a hushed whisper. "And eating for your mother really helps her. She was all pink for a moment." With that she pinched my cheek a bit and walked back to the stove to talk with Esme. I just blinked at her a few times, because honestly? _Renee, I need coffee before you pull this shit._ My mom walked over to me and handed me a plate of at least six eggs with a hopeful look on her face. I raised my eyebrow at her, but didn't say anything.

_Wouldn't want to hurt her pink aura._

I carried my plate over to the table, where Charlie was nursing a mug of coffee. He noticed my heaping plate, and then motioned with his fork towards his own full one. Apparently Esme was concerned with everyone's eating habits. We shared a small half-hearted smile and proceeded to eat in silence. Once I started eating, I found myself ravenous, and ate almost everything she had given me. As soon as I had finished, though, I was overwhelmed with guilt. How dare I eat when Lily might be starving right now? Charlie looked at me, and at one glance seemed to read the emotion on my face.

He shook his head at me. "We're no good to them falling apart, son." He patted my shoulder and took his plate and mine to the sink.

_That was one of the good things about Charlie. He didn't hover._

I remembered Jasper's words. _I had to stay whole._ I could do that, be that strong for my little girl. She was coming back to me. I couldn't lose sight of that.

"Much better, Edward. Your yellows are looking good." Renee chirped.

_I need some of whatever she's smoking._

"Charlie, I'm worried about the grays around your chest. Have you been watching your blood pressure?"

"Woman, my blood pressure's fine. If you're worried about my grays, pick up some Vitamin R for me later, and I'm sure they'll clear right up."

A strangled noise burst from my throat, and I realized I had tried to laugh. My mom's eyes darted over to mine, and she began to walk over to me, but I shoved back from the table quickly and left the kitchen scowling.

_Lily could be anywhere on the fucking planet, and I'm laughing at jokes in the kitchen like I've got all the time in the world. Disgusting._

I stomped up the stairs like an angry teenager and slammed my bedroom door. Locking it for good measure, it was a deterrent to keep unwanted advice givers the fuck out. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to calm down. It was time to start the day. The faster I showered and dressed, the faster we could get down to the station. Once I was under the spray, my head cleared a bit. Now, I just felt like an asshole..

_I need to apologize to Renee and Charlie. And my mom. Fuck!_

As I turned the water off, I heard an incessant banging on my bedroom door. "EDWARD! EDWARD!"

Confused, I walked over to the door and tried to open it a crack, to see what the fuck was going on. But as soon as I unlocked the door, my mother burst in. "The prints came back! They found a match!"

My heart started exploding in my chest, beating furiously against my ribcage. This was fucking epic. We had been waiting, and the detectives were beginning to think they would have to expand the search to the national database and involve the FBI. I turned without a word, and dressed in a whirlwind.

"Who is it? Do they know where he is?" I called through the closet door.

"I don't know, I don't know. We have to get down there. They wouldn't say, we need to go. They're waiting on us to see the information, before they release it." She was practically bouncing.

"Alright, I'm ready. Let's go. Is everybody awake? Are they coming too?"

She nodded her head, still bouncing. "We're ready to go when you are."

"Okay, c'mon. I can't believe this, Mom. I thought we were going to have to wait forever, or that maybe he wasn't in their system at all."

She beamed at me as we pounded down the stairs. "I know, baby. Do you want to ride with your father and me? Or take your own car?"

I gave her my crooked smile, the one I used when I was about to be in trouble. "I think I'll drive myself, okay, Mom?"

She dropped her smile. "Edward Anthony, if you wreck on the way there, so help me-"

"I'll be fine, Mom. See you there." I kissed her cheek and flew out the front door to my Volvo. Alice was already peeling out of the driveway, with Jasper and Charlie in tow. Emmett and Rose were climbing into her BMW, while my dad locked up behind me. Renee and my mom were clutching each other, vibrating with excitement. I tore out of the neighborhood without another glance, anxious and excited and hopeful.

_I bet I look pretty fucking pink right now._

I was flying through the streets, making the twenty minute drive in just under ten. Alice pulled up right behind me, and the four of us walked in together. We went straight back to the detective's desks where they stood huddled around with papers strewn across. Sharon was there, pointing at different pages, and looked up as we walked in.

"Hello, Edward."

The detectives looked up then, and motioned us over. "We got a hit. James Harrison, age 30. Last registered address in Sequim. We've already called the police there to have them check it out, but it was over a year ago, so we can't be sure. It's unlikely he'd be there, but of course we'll check. There's a car registered to that address, so the state troopers have been given the information to look for it, in case he ditched the van."

"What was the hit on? What's his history?" I asked.

They exchanged glances. Marcus sighed. "You really want to know?"

_That can't be good._

I swallowed heavily. "Yes. I'm sure. I _need_ to know."

"This is what we've found so far. This rap sheet is everything criminal he's done after becoming an adult. We've got some employment history and information on his wife and child as well. These other pages are his juvenile record, and case history."

"Case history?" I was confused. Jasper exhaled shakily.

"He was a foster kid. And he was bounced around. A lot. In the beginning, he was removed from abusive situations, but later he was forced out due to his behavioral issues. The first documented case of abuse was when he was eight years old, and he had been living at that home for just over three years."

"What kind of abuse?" Jasper asked.

"Sexual and physical. Beaten repeatedly, and severely malnourished. He was denied food as punishment, and his foster father molested him on a regular basis."

My mother gasped from behind me. I hadn't even realized everyone else had arrived. "That's terrible."

I shook my head. I wouldn't feel sorry for this fucker. He was a grown man, and he took my baby girl. I looked at Jasper, who had a solemn look on his face. "What are you thinking Jazz?"

"Let's hear the rest first. Then I'll try to form an opinion. This isn't my specialty though, Edward. I'm not a criminal profiler. I can make an educated guess, but nothing's ever concrete. Every person is different." He looked back to Marcus.

"Actually our psychiatrist should be in soon. As far as his continued history goes, he alleged abuse at the next home, as well. But it was never decided if it was true or not, because he began retaliating against his foster parents and their pets, and some of the other children."

_Psychopath. _"What did he do?"

"The animals started disappearing, only to be found weeks later tortured. He began a pattern of manipulating the younger children to obey him and perform dangerous stunts. When two of the children were injured, the foster father attempted to discipline him. He fought back and sent him through a glass coffee table. He was only eleven at the time. After that, he was bounced around group homes, getting kicked out for fighting and vandalism, the last one because of touching a child inappropriately. He ran away at age fifteen.

He fell off the grid for a few years, so we don't know where he was or what he was doing. Shortly after turning eighteen, he was picked up for shoplifting food. He was given probation, which he never served. A few years later he was arrested for assault against a homeless man. He served four months, and was then released. Employment history is varied amongst different trades, most of them requiring no background checks. There's no documentation with the state showing he was certified with anything, so he must have forged some licenses to find work. He did plumbing, electrical work, and home building, working for different contractors in Port Angeles, Sequim, and Kent. Also sometime over the next six years, he found himself a girlfriend, and had a child.

A domestic disturbance that was called in just over a year ago, involved a Victoria Sesen, who was badly beaten, but in the end refused to press charges. Police made note of a four-year old child in the home, Abigail Harrison, and Child Protection was called in to investigate. No evidence of abuse was found on the child, so she was left with the parents.

His employment was sporadic at best, and the couple subsisted off of welfare checks, and a disability payment received by Ms. Sesen for an accident some years prior. Based on medical records we've found, she appears to have had a prescription drug addiction. Three years ago she was arrested for possession of several prescribed narcotics during a raid at her half-brother's house, one Laurent Eamon. We're looking to find him for more information as well. But he probably won't call on his own, because he's wanted for an outstanding warrant.

The welfare and disability checks still go to the address in Sequim, but they stopped being cashed four months ago. The Sequim residence is apparently very secluded, so there aren't any neighbors to speak of, unfortunately. We're going to be driving over to the house to see what we can find there, if anything. You'll be the first to know if we do."

My head was swimming. So much information. Answers, but not the answers I wanted to find. "Can we go with you to the house in Sequim?"

"No, I'm sorry. We've got to treat the place as a crime scene, no civilians allowed. Of course, Charlie, you could come as an extra set of hands and eyes?"

I looked to Charlie, who had what I had learned was his cop face on. "I'll call you as soon as we find something, Edward."

_Aargh._ I was jealous that Charlie could go with them, even though I knew that they wouldn't be finding them there. While grateful to know that Charlie could be there, because I knew he would fill me in on everything they found, I still felt useless remaining here. I was trying to comprehend all the information we had learned on this James, and I couldn't decide how I felt about the fact that Victoria and Abigail were in fact real. A hand clapped down on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. It was Charlie.

"We're heading out now. You'll hear from me soon."

"Thanks, Charlie."

As the detectives and Charlie left the situation room, a frizzy-haired woman with horn-rimmed glasses walked up to us. She looked mousy, but her tone was confident. "Hello, you must be Edward Cullen. I'm Kate Gallagher, department psychiatrist. I'm here to take a look at the information we've gathered so far on James Harrison. Hello, Sharon."

"Hi, Kate. I'm going to take some of these photos here and start relaying information to the stations. Edward, we'll need to speak later about the possibilities of doing a national interview. Bella's literary agent contacted me yesterday, and she's eager to bring as much attention to the case as possible to bring them home. She's apparently a close friend of Bella's and is not interested in any publicity surrounding her writing, only the case itself. For Bella _and_ Lily. Now that we've got a name to match the face, the more media that show it the better. Somebody's got to know this guy."

I exhaled shakily. My brain was on overload. "Just find me later? I'm trying to process it all…"

"I'll speak with you and Charlie both before I set anything up. It won't be until tomorrow at the earliest." With that she placed the photos along with some other papers in a folder inside her briefcase, and walked away.

I collapsed into a seat at Jonathan's desk and started rummaging through the papers scattered amongst the various file folders. There was a mug shot of Victoria and I studied it intently. She had fiery red hair, but her face did slightly resemble Bella's. _If Bella were a crack addict. _Her features were a bit sharper, and she looked much older, weathered almost. Her eyes were flat; there was no sparkle like Bella's. Her lips weren't as full as Bella's either…My eyes caught another picture on the desk.

Abigail.

It was from the Child Protection case a year ago. She was a really cute little girl, but she looked so sad. She had the same eyes as her father, but her hair was the _exact _same color as Lily's. I remembered the security video from the parking lot. As soon as he saw us, he had seemed to recognize us. Or her, rather. But how? He must not have seen them for some time, if he thought their appearances could have changed so much. So where were they? He accused her of leaving the house without him. If she ran away, would she come to us to help with the case, or stay in hiding out of fear?

"Did you hear me, Edward?"

I looked up in confusion, having completely forgotten about Kate and the rest of my family still there. Jasper pulled up a chair next to me, while Kate sat down on the other side of the desk. "Huh?"

Rose looked at me in pity. "I said Emmett and I have to go in to work for a while today. But we'll be back by the house later, okay?"

I nodded unthinkingly. She came over and gave me a hug around my shoulders, and Emmett clapped me on the back, and they left. I looked over at Ali, who was shifting from foot to foot. "What about you, Sis? Do you need to go, too?"

She shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't _have_ to, if you need me here. I mean, I want to be here, it's just there's an order of fabrics coming into today…This is more important, though, Edward. I'm sure my girls at the boutique can handle it…"

I shook my head at her. Alice ran that store from top to bottom. Going in for a few hours would probably be good for her, to give her the distraction. "No, Ali. Go on in. One of us will fill you in later."

She looked at me unsure, but I held her gaze firmly. She relented, sighing. "Alright, Edward. But I'll be back as soon as I'm done. Can Jasper ride back with you?"

"Of course he can, Ali." She kissed the top of my head and gave Jazz a peck on the lips before shuffling out, lacking her usual bounce. My parents and Bella's mom and Phil remained, pulling up chairs around the desk where we were seated. They looked to Kate expectantly, but I turned to Jasper. I trusted him to know what to ask. I was right.

"So Kate, you've been introduced to Edward already, but I didn't get the chance to introduce myself. My name's Jasper Whitlock, I'm his brother-in-law, and best friend. I also happen to be a psychologist, but this is not my specialty. We would be grateful to get your take on what type of person you think we're dealing with."

"Of course. I've only just received the information this morning, like you, but I'll do my best. First off, I believe we're obviously dealing with a very disturbed individual. His abusive start in life set the pattern for him to follow into an abuser's footsteps. His history of manipulation and causing others harm, directly and indirectly, leads me to believe he is most definitely a sociopath. He preys on the weak, case in point, an addict for a girlfriend. But he's not stupid. Being able to pull off a car theft that no one noticed until the abduction and the abduction itself proves that."

Jasper interrupted then. "But what sort of disease do you think we're dealing with in terms of the abduction? We don't know the real Victoria and Abigail's whereabouts, but he obviously believes that Bella and Lily are them."

"I believe we're looking at a personality disorder, both sadistic and antisocial by definition. Knowing that the actual wife and child exist presents another problem in and of itself."

"How so, exactly?"

"If they ran away from him, and were to return while he still has Bella and Lily, he could suffer a psychotic break. He would most definitely pose great danger to all four of them. If he himself caused Victoria and Abigail harm, he may have already suffered the break. If he has recreated them in his own mind, we're in a whole other world. His own mind would be his and their worst enemy, because over time he would become increasingly suspicious, and by contrast most likely violent as well."

"What sort of abuse do you think he is capable of?"

I felt my heart drop into my stomach when he asked that, unsure if I could handle the answer.

"Edward, I think I should take your mother to get a cup of coffee right now. Would you like one?" My father broke in, obviously feeling the same concerns as me. I looked to my mom, and she was ashen.

I glanced over to him. "Yeah, Dad.

Phil stood up then, dragging up a sick-looking Renee. "I'll think we'll get some coffee, too." Renee tried to protest, but he pulled her away without another word. My dad followed after them, holding my mother under his arm.

Kate continued once they had walked away. "We already know he has a history of physical abuse towards his wife, so I believe Bella to be in the greatest amount of danger. However his own abuse as a child leads me to believe he could pose a risk to Lily as well. I do think he is capable of murder, which is why I don't hold high hopes for finding Mr. Carson alive. I agree with the detectives, though. The amount of medication he took in Tacoma indicates he'll be caring for them for quite a while, or at least he's prepared to. Oxycontin was one of the drugs found on Victoria's person at the drug raid a few years back, so it's logical to assume he intends that for Bella."

_Christ. This is going to kill Charlie. And I'm letting somebody else handle telling Renee. _

I felt my heart tearing apart in my chest. Even though I felt the slightest relief to hear that Lily wasn't in the greatest danger, I was immediately overtaken by tremendous guilt for thinking that way. Bella didn't deserve this. Neither of them did, of course. But until then, I had only been thinking in terms of what he could do to Lily. I now realized the full scope of what he could be doing to Bella. Remembering the abduction in the grocery store, how she stood in front of Lily, trying to protect her, when I couldn't. Even after he'd already hit her. A little girl she didn't know, and she tried to keep her safe. And now they were both gone, and he was doing God-knows-fucking-what to her.

_When we get them back, I'm buying her a goddamn tropical island to relax on for the rest of her life._

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to get a grip on my emotions. I felt useless, and the truth was we all were. Until we heard back from the detectives in Sequim, we were in a waiting game. We could stay here all day and hear about Kate and Jasper's theories on James' mental state, and the potential dangers Bella and Lily were in, but I was pretty sure they couldn't tell me anything my imagination hadn't already thought through.

I had spent the previous day jumping every time the hotline rang, doing busy work. Staying in this place again today was not an option. I needed to clear my head.

"I've gotta go," I announced abruptly. Jasper looked at me in surprise, but his eyes softened as he took in my no doubt troubled appearance. "Do you think you can catch a ride back with Mom and Dad?" I asked him.

"What? Where are you going?" My mother's voiced called out alarmed, two coffees shaking in her hands.

I stood up and gave her a hug, whispering in her ear. "I just need to be alone for a while, Mom. I'll be home later, okay? I've got my phone on me."

She squeezed me hard, nodding and sniffling into my shoulder. She released me and turned to Jasper. "We've got room for you, Jasper."

I nodded my goodbye to everyone else, and fled out of there. I felt like I was suffocating, surrounded by all those pictures. Him and his family, Lily, Bella, they were everywhere. Too many scenarios playing out in my mind. I started up the ignition in my Volvo and tore out of the parking lot, headed away from it all. Driving aimlessly for a long time, eventually I found myself back near my parents' house. I pulled into the driveway and got out, but didn't want to go back in there either yet. Too many memories.

I started hiking through the small wooded area behind my parents' home, past the tree where Emmett and I had our old treehouse. My dad was working on rebuilding it so Lily could use it. Crossing over the stream, I searched for my old thinking spot.

_It's around here somewhere. It's got to still be here._

_Aha._

Here it was. A small hidden clearing far enough away from the neighborhood to be one of the few silent spots in Seattle. The tall trees surrounding the little meadow that no one knew about but me. As a child, I came here to hide from Emmett or Alice when they were annoying me. As a teenager, I came to sulk when my hormones raged against my parents.

Now I was here to just be. Laying down on the grass in the center of the clearing, I closed my eyes. I could feel the sun's rays on me, shining down in between the clouds as they passed overhead. I missed her _so much_. She was my passion in life. Medicine was my career, and I strived to be a good doctor. Music was my release, and it brought me great happiness and distraction. But she was my _life._ She was my little chef, my greatest fan. My only comfort was that she was not alone.

She had Bella.

But what was he doing to her? To them? There were so many terrible things my mind could conjure up for him to do to either of them, but after talking with Kate and Jasper, it was clear who was in the most danger. The way he screamed at her, the way he struck her without hesitation in the store, I couldn't fathom what he was doing to her at that moment. Was Lily witness to it all?

They were so adorable laughing together in that mess of apples. _That was only two days ago._ Two days ago, I was dumbfounded in front of her, wondering how to work up the courage to speak in a complete sentence to her, and now she was gone. Gone with my Lily, and terrified.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep thinking. Waking up to raindrops falling on my face, I saw the sun was setting, with dark clouds covering the sky. I groaned as my phone buzzed, and saw that I had thirteen missed calls and twenty-two new texts. For a brief second, my hopes were up, but were promptly dashed as I saw the messages.

_Your car's here. Where are you?_

_Edward, your mother's worried. Give her a call when you can._

_Bro, mom's going nuts. Where are you at?_

My phone buzzed again while I was reading them, so I answered it quickly.

"_Edward?! Edward, are you there?"_ my mom's voice screeched through the phone as I stood to start walking back, before the rain picked up.

"Mom. Mom, I'm sorry. I went for a walk in the woods and I lost track of time. I'm coming back now, I should be there in less than ten minutes."

"_Edward, are you alright? I was so worried. You're not lost are you? Do you need help getting back?"_

I rolled my eyes, grateful she couldn't see it. "No, Mom. I'm fine. Don't bother, it's starting to rain. Do you want to stay on the phone with me until I get back? I'm walking as fast as I can, and I'm crossing the stream now."

"_There's no need to roll your eyes at me, young man. I'm sorry if it amuses you to worry your mother. I've been at my wit's end for hours!"_

_How does she know that?_

"I'm sorry, Mom. I don't think it's funny at all. I'm sorry I gave you something else to worry about. I was thinking about everything, and I must have dozed off…"

"_Fallen asleep?! In the woods?! What if you had been attacked by an animal? You're going to get sick from being out in this weather now-"_

I snorted. "Animals, Mom? We're in Seattle, not the wilderness. I don't even think it's possible to get lost in the trees behind your house, and I'm not too worried about the stray cats out roaming. It _just_ started raining, and it's the middle of summer. I'll be passing the treehouse in a few moments, but I could probably walk faster if I got off the phone. Is that alright, Mother?"

"_Fine. But you're changing as soon as you get in here, and then you're going to sit down and eat a full meal. You've completely missed lunch and dinner. I'll go fix you a plate to eat once you're home and dry… What if you fall and hurt yourself and can't reach your phone?"_

"Just stay on the phone with me, Mom. I'll be there in just a couple more minutes."

"_Thank you, Edward,"_ she answered meekly.

I walked silently, huffing as I tried to hurry home. Keeping the phone to my ear, after a few moments, I could see the house through the trees. "I'm here, Mom. Is the back door unlocked?"

My answer was a dial tone and my mother throwing the back door open, searching frantically for me. As soon as she saw me, her expression changed in an instant from worried to irritated. I halfway expected her to drag me in by my ears to the house, but she settled for crossing her arms and scowling at me until I entered through the back way into the kitchen.

"Take off those shoes right now and then march yourself upstairs and take a hot shower and change into a fresh set of warm clothes!" She marched away, muttering under her breath, something about "mountain lions" and "walking pneumonia".

I complied quietly, not willing to risk the wrath that is an angry Esme, and went upstairs to my room. I showered quickly, and dressed into a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, hurrying back down into the kitchen before she could get even more irritated.

Everyone had congregated into the kitchen by then, and I was surprised to see Charlie there as well. Emmett's loud ass was obnoxious as usual.

"Eddie! Did you have fun being one with nature? I oughta beat your ass for making Mom worry like that, Bro!"

"Emmett! Language!" Esme chided. "But thank you for the offer, sweetie."

I gaped at her. "Mom!"

She shrugged at me innocently. "What? You made me worry. Come, sit, and eat. I'll heat up some leftovers from earlier."

I took a seat across from Charlie and next to Emmett. Quietly, under his breath, Emmett muttered. "I've got a pizza in my room."

I looked at him quizzically, and then looked to Charlie, who was observing us bemused. Shaking my head at them, I plunged into my questions.

"So, Charlie? What'd you find?"

Alice set down a beer in front of him, and he smiled up at her gratefully while cracking it open. "Not much, unfortunately. The house was covered in his prints, along with two others we've yet to identify, but we believe they'll belong to Victoria and Abigail. The house appears to have been vacant for months. There's dust everywhere, no food to be found. It's been cleared out of most of its possessions as well. The kitchen and bathrooms were bare, along with the closets. The car registered to that address wasn't there, so police are still on the lookout. 'Fraid there's not much else to say about it."

I opened my mouth to speak, when my mother set down a plate of, well, honestly it looked like vomit. "Uh, Mom? What'd you make tonight? Don't think I've ever had this before."

Renee beamed at me. "Actually, Edward, tonight I cooked. I wanted to say thank you for your family's hospitality in letting us stay with you. I made you Phil's favorite."

I looked up at Phil, shocked. He grimaced at me apologetically. I swallowed thickly, not wanting to be rude, but seriously. Vomit. Harnessing all the good manners my mother had instilled in me, I plastered an appreciative smile on my face for her. "That was so kind of you, Renee. What is it? It looks like…an original recipe."

"I call it Eggplant Enchiladas! It is an original! When Bella lived with me, she always did all the cooking, but once she moved to live with Charlie, I could experiment all the time! I've created enough recipes to make my own cookbook over the years," she announced proudly.

I felt Emmett shaking next to me in silent laughter as I stared down at my plate, trying to gather the courage to take the first bite. When I kicked him hard, he jumped, effectively taking the focus off of me for a moment. I closed my eyes and held my breath, and took an experimental first bite quickly. _Oh my god._ While I was sure there were worse things in life, I was hard pressed to think of any at the moment. _How?_ How did she think mixing these ingredients together could taste good? The texture in my mouth made me want to gag, but I choked it down. My mother set down a glass of water in front of me, and I swallowed it all down.

I grasped at straws, desperate to find a way out of eating the rest of this meal. Going out on a limb, I tried. "This is fantastic, Renee. It really was great of you to go to all this trouble. Would you be terribly offended if I covered it, and saved it for after my workout? I feel like I need to blow off some steam after that nap."

She waved me off. "Of course, not! I'll just wrap it up for you and stick it in the fridge so you can heat it up again later. You'd better get to it fast, though. Everyone else already polished off theirs, and that's the last helping!"

I looked around at everyone, who was trying desperately to hide their smirks. She hopped away, humming to herself as she put away the food.

"So, Emmett. I was hoping to get a round with your bag downstairs."

He grinned and started to open his mouth to speak, but I caught on before he got the chance. "I swear to Christ if you say 'That's what she said', I will bust your goddamn lip."

He scoffed at me, laughing. "Ha! I'd like to see you try, little bro!" At the same time my mother scolded me for my language. Everyone around the dinner table had a short round of laughter at our expense, and instead of feeling guilty for it, it actually made me feel a little bit better as well. I hated the weighty feeling of being dragged down by all this; it felt good to let everyone take a breath. Even if I felt I couldn't.

Emmett and I made our way down to the basement together. "So, pizza's in your room? How'd you get that past Mom?"

He snorted at me. "Pshht! Mom was the one who ordered the damn things! You should have seen the look on her face when she saw what Renee had made. She offered to help since Mom was all worried about where you were, but when she saw it, I swear, I thought she was going to throw up. I can't believe you actually took a bite!"

I gaped at him. "How did you get out of trying it?!"

"Years of Brussels sprouts evasion, my man. I've mastered the classic 'move-around-the-plate-while-dropping-food-in-the-lap' technique. I oughta patent that shit."

I smirked at him. "Well, if she stays in the house much longer with us, you're going to have to teach me."

He didn't smile back, and I realized belatedly what I'd said really meant. The only reason Renee would continue to stay with us, was if Bella and Lily weren't found. I felt nauseous. The light and playful mood we had walking down to the basement evaporated in the room around us. Stalking over to the weight bench, I snatched some tape up. I wrapped my knuckles quickly, eager to burn some of my energy and frustration.

Emmett braced the bag as I jogged in place, warming myself up.

"You wanna talk?" He asked.

"Nope." I popped as I took my first swing.

"Oomph! Jesus, Edward. What'd my sack ever do to you?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.

"You're a Neanderthal sometimes, you know that, Emmett?" I huffed and punched again.

He hugged the bag a little tighter. "Seriously, dude. Take it easy. Your knuckles are still fucked up from the other night." He fell back a step as I landed another punch.

I swung again and again, unable to stop once I got going. Focusing all my energy, all my pain and frustration and anger into hitting the bag, I imagined _he_ was there, right in front of me. I never wanted to stop, I wanted to kill him. I wanted him to feel every ounce of pain I felt.

I felt resistance around my arms, prohibiting my movement. _Un-fucking-acceptable._ I fought against my restrainer until I could hear a muffled voice in my ear. Focusing in on the voice, I tried to understand.

"Edward. Calm down, man. Just cool down. It's alright. It's going to be alright. You've got to stop. You're going to hurt yourself."

My brain registered that it was Emmett speaking calmly in my ear. Instead of calming me, it had the opposite effect. His words infuriated me. "It's not fucking alright, Emmett! I'm already fucking hurting! Just fucking let me be!" I screamed at him, struggling to get away from his hold.

"No. I won't fucking let you hurt yourself. You have to stop, man. Edward, please stop." His voice cracking at the end, broke my hold on my anger.

I collapsed against him, all my strength having left me. He pulled us down to the floor as I broke down into sobs.

"I just want her back, Emmett. I need her back. I need something, anything. Just to know she's okay. I see their faces at night when I sleep. I see him taking her from me, I see Bella walking away with her. I see her crying, I see the gun…I can't…I can't…" I choked, unable to continue speaking through my cries.

He released my arms and rested his clenched fist on my back. He used it to pat me softly. "I…_fuck_…you…We'll get her back Edward."

I wheeled around on him, ignoring the tears pouring out of my eyes. "That's not fucking good enough. I need her to be back _now_, Emmett. I need to wake up to her jumping on my bed wanting to make fucking pancakes, and for this to be all just one fucked up twisted goddamn nightmare. I need for this to never have even fucking happened."

He sat in silence for a few moments, contemplating. After a bit, he shook his head slightly and looked into my eyes. "That's not going to happen, man. This _is_ happening. All we can do is what we're doing. You've just got to…_fuck…_we've all got to keep going. Right about now, I'd say it's time for a stiff fucking drink and bed."

I heaved a deep sigh, so tired of this whirlwind of emotions in me. My mood swings were giving me whiplash. While I was embarrassed for breaking down in front of Emmett, I was still angry and hurting…He was right, I just needed to go the fuck to sleep. I realized my head was nodding in agreement with him unconsciously.

"You're right, Em. I'm sorry. Let's snatch Dad's scotch from the study and drown a few. I wish I could keep it together better than this, I'm really trying-"

"Ed, man, just stop. You don't need to make excuses for yourself. But I've pretty much hit my fucking limit on this feelings talk. I vote drinking starts now. If you'd like to continue the emo shit, I'd be happy to get Renee for you. She'd be all too fucking eager to look at the fractures in your aura, while she feeds you the only thing I've ever seen that I couldn't eat."

I let out a broken laugh. "Seriously, man. So fucking nasty."

"Right?! And she fucking ate it, bro! She loves it! Dude, I'm telling you God never intended for the amazingness of enchiladas to be tainted with fucking eggplant."

We made our way back up the stairs to the main floor, where thankfully everyone had cleared out. We continued to make light of Renee's cooking and other quirks while we dug into Carlisle's twenty-eight year aged scotch and ate cold pizza. I didn't know how much we drank, but at some point I remembered being taxied to my room, where I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Reviews get Renee's recipe.**

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	9. Chapter 9 Day 3 Pt 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, just the plot.**

**A/N: You guys broke 500!! When I started, I thought I'd be lucky to even have a hundred people reading my story, and now this story's gotten over a 1000 hits! Thank you to everyone who is enjoying reading. I'm anxious to hear what you think of this chapter, some you aren't going to be very happy with me, I'm afraid. Sorry for the delay, I got cold feet about posting and couldn't make up my mind about something. EBT is my backbone. She is fabulous, no? Seriously though, folks, it's about to get dark, so prepare yourself, grab some Kleenex, and dig in.**

Chapter 9: Day 3, Part 2

Just like that, we launched into a game of twenty questions, and I learned all about Lily Autumn Cullen, age 4. I learned about all of her favorite everythings, and how she spent her days. I learned she had a HUGE family, and I made a note to myself to question her more about them later. After a while her answers started coming out slurred and soft, so I sang her Disney songs to lull her to sleep.

Once she was snoring softly beside me, I lay staring up at the ceiling thinking. I knew I needed to sleep, but my mind couldn't wind down. My head was swimming with thoughts. How could we escape from here? Could I overpower him? What if we really were stuck here? I couldn't let her forget about her real family. I needed to remember my family. I was so scared. So scared of what he might do to us, scared I would never see my dad again. I felt a coldness on my face, and realized there were tears there, I was unaware I was shedding. Once I realized I was crying, it was like a dam had burst. I lay there, in that small bed, Lily and I clutching each other like lifelines, and cried myself to sleep, wishing I could wake up and it could all just be a nightmare.

* * * * * * *

BPOV

I groaned as I woke up, Lily stirring beside me.

_God I feel like shit. That medicine is really messing with my system. And FUCK my body hurts. _

James started making me take little white pills yesterday morning that made me incredibly woozy. I tried to hide them under my tongue to spit out later, but he made me open up my mouth to show him I swallowed.

_Won't be trying that again._

At first I didn't think much of it. He glared, forced me to swallow, and then walked away without another word about it. On top of the mantle of the fireplace, there were two clear glass jars. One was empty, the other full of marbles. He plucked one from the full jar, and dropped it in the empty one beside it. It wasn't until sometime later, after the medicine started making me feel weird, that I realized what he was doing. I had been cooking powdered eggs and oatmeal for breakfast, and I zoned out for a couple of minutes. The water for the oatmeal boiled over, making a mess. James, who was waiting at the table to be served, like the fuckwad that he was, threw his fork down on his plate in anger and repeated the marble thing.

That was when I realized he was keeping track of when I made a mistake. I remembered his warning to hurt Lily if I messed up. But I didn't think he really would. He seemed like he loved her, in his own crazy way. Either way I was determined not to let him if he tried.

He didn't.

That was all for me.

Over the course of the day, I earned myself three more marbles in the jar. It made me feel like a child. I didn't even know where to start with Lily's 'lessons'. James had me read to her from the dictionary from the large shelf in the living area. I had trouble focusing on the words, and after messing up for the zillionth time he got irritated and added a marble.

During my appointed cleaning time, I had casually kept my eyes open for makeshift weapons, but was disappointed to find nothing. No household tools, no knives, no big glass vases like the movies.

Later in the day, I accidentally knocked over a glass at the table during lunch. Another marble. That evening I couldn't finish dinner because my stomach was rolling after he made me take another dose of my 'medicine'. That was worth not only another marble, but I also would not be eating dinner the next evening.

_You'd think if I'm so 'thick' he wouldn't be so pissed I couldn't eat it all. Fucktarded logic._

After dinner, James had me give Lily a bath and get her ready for bed. I thought we would go to sleep the same way we did the night before, or at least I was hoping we would anyway, minus the whole good night kiss part. Instead, he pulled a basket of toys from behind the third door in the hallway, which turned out to be the laundry room. He brought the basket into to our room, and instructed her to play while we 'talked', completely terrifying me.

James locked her in our room, and then pushed me into his. He fetched the jar and counted out my mistakes. Taking off his belt, he beat me with it on my back five times, one for each marble. Trying not to cry out, I bit my lip, not wanting Lily to hear it. He made me count each strike, and by five I was sobbing. It stung so badly, and I'd never been struck before in my life. I had hoped that was the end of it, but he wasn't finished. Pushing me down on the ground, he yanked me up by my hair to maneuver me to my knees.

I steeled myself to be prepared to bite if necessary, because I could guess what he was about to do. He sneered down at me, telling me that I'd better do a good job, or he'd have to find someone else to finish instead. I knew what he meant. He meant Lily. I wasn't willing to risk her innocence by calling his bluff. Looking around his room, I didn't see anything to fight back with, and my whole body was slow to react as it was. It felt like I was in a haze.

He reached down in his pants and pulled out the smallest dick I had ever seen, but it was completely limp. He was fondling himself in front of my face, but no matter how hard he rubbed himself, he couldn't get hard. He twisted my hair around his fist, pulling harder and harder, until finally he let out a groan of frustration and threw me to the ground, kicking me in the stomach over and over.

That I couldn't take. I vomited on the floor next to his feet. He grunted at me, disgusted, and kicked me once more as he walked by. He returned with a towel and threw it in my face, demanding I clean up my mess. After the wood floor was wiped up, he pulled me up by my hair again until I was standing. Dragging me back down the hall, he unlocked our bedroom door before tossing me inside. He didn't spare me another glance, but cheerfully wished Lily a good night before locking us back in.

As soon as the door was closed, Lily ran over to me to help me off the floor, but I couldn't stand for her to see me like this. I begged her to give me five minutes alone in the bathroom. Barely able to make it in time, I convulsed in the toilet, until I was dry heaving. I brushed the taste of bile out of my mouth and washed my face. Turning around, I lifted my shirt to check my back, and hissed at the red welts across it. My stomach was red as well, and I gingerly touched my ribs, wincing as I did so. I opened the door to a crying Lily, whose worried face broke my heart.

She wanted to know what happened, but I couldn't tell her. But when she guessed if James hit me, I found myself unable to lie to her. She had seen him slap me in the grocery store, she knew he was capable of it. I admitted he had, and that the medicine made me sick, but I wouldn't give her any more details than that. Changing the subject, I tried quickly to distract her.

That night I let her ask the questions about me. She found out about my parents, my books, all my favorites everythings that she had told me about herself the night before. It worked to distract both of us, and when she asked me to sing her to sleep with one of my favorite 'grownup' songs, the only one I could think of at the moment was 'All You Need Is Love'. By the end of it, she was singing along softly, horribly off key, but still. It was a sweet moment. She asked me to keep singing it until we fell asleep, so I did until the exhaustion of the day overtook me.

A bang on the door made us both jump. "Fifteen minutes, Victoria!" he bellowed at me. I threw myself out of bed, only to grab onto the wall as a wave of dizziness hit me.

I showered quickly, and helped Lily brush her teeth and wash her face. We got dressed as quickly as we could, but I had trouble fitting into the clothes in the closet. They were a little small on me. I made sure to change with my back facing away from Lily, so she didn't see the welts that were surely bruises by now. Telling her and letting her see were two completely different things. I was helping her get her socks on when the lock on the door clicked.

He opened the door with a bright smile on his face, looking down at Lily. "Good morning baby! Did you sleep good?"

She looked at him warily. "Yeah. I slept okay."

He clapped his hands together rubbing them excitedly. "Well, who's up for breakfast?" He looked at me then, raising his eyebrows expectantly. "Oh! Your medicine. How could I forget? Come, Victoria."

My stomach churned at the thought of more of that medication. "I feel fine today, actually. Do I need to take it?"

His nostrils flared in anger. "You think I'll give you the chance to do it again, you little bitch?" _Do what again?_ "I control your medicine, not you. You'll take it when I give it to you, and if you can still argue with me after last night, than you've obviously not learned your fucking lesson."

He stormed out of the hallway, and Lily and I followed quickly after him. I watched in horror as he dropped a handful of marbles into the jar. When he turned around and saw me watching him, his eyes narrowed in on me, his face taking on a calm cruel smile. "Start breakfast. I'll get your medicine. It sounds like you need a higher dose today. Trust me, you're going to need it."

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

I felt a little hand slip into mine, and as I looked down at our joined hands, I realized they were shaking violently. Closing my eyes briefly, I tried to rein in my fears. Lily gave me a squeeze, and I opened my eyes to look into hers. She had tears swimming in them, and I decided to make it my goal of the day for her to smile.

I surprised her by swooping down and picking her up in my arms. Carrying her into the kitchen airplane-style, I ignored the ache in my muscles as I did so. "Vroom! Supergirl coming in for a landing!"

I set her down next to the stove, hoping to see a smile, but she just looked warily back. _New tactic._ "Ahem. Chef Abby? What will we be making for breakfast this morning?"

Her eyes lit up a little at my mention of cooking. I made a note to include her in all the meals from now on.

_Whoa. Wait a fucking second. Get the fuck out of here, then cook to your heart's content at home._

Disappointed in myself, I moved to step around her into the pantry only to be jerked back at my elbow by James. "Medicine. Now." He handed me a black and a white tablet. "Take these."

I swallowed them dutifully, opening my mouth for him without question. Lifting my tongue for him to fully inspect my mouth, he nodded at me sternly when he was satisfied. He stalked over to the kitchen table, waiting for his breakfast.

_God, I want to spit in his food._

Instead, I went back to the pantry. Looking at the various foods, a thought struck me. If we were to escape, we would have to travel through who knew how fucking much woods to reach civilization again. We would need supplies. My new mission of the day was figuring out how to hide food in our room. My eyes took inventory of everything that looked light enough to travel with, that required no preparation. Everything was mostly canned, which would be rather heavy. And what would we carry it in? I couldn't remember seeing any bags or sacks of any kind.

"Victoria!!"

_Oh shit. Focus. Fucking meds._

"I'm sorry. I'm just not sure what to make. What would you like, James?"

"Ask Abby."

Turning to her, I raised my eyebrow in question.

"Pancakes."

Pancakes. Pancake mix. _Where's the fucking pancake mix?_ He did not deserve my special pancake recipe. _I'm saving that for me and Lily's first breakfast out of here._ I found a box of mix, and a can of evaporated milk. I set the food on the counter and then reached around to scoop up Lily and deposit her next to it. Grabbing a mixing bowl and measuring cups, I whispered conspiratorially to her, "One day, I'll make you my Forks-famous banana pancakes." I waggled my eyebrows at her playfully, and she finally managed to crack a smile.

I let her measure the ingredients and pour them into the bowl and stir, while I heated up the griddle. After briefly considering flipping the pancakes up high in the air to make her laugh, I ultimately decided it was too risky. If I dropped one, James would probably flip his lid. _One day_. Instead, I opted to cook the pancakes quickly, and served up three plates.

We ate silently, and I cleaned up the dishes as soon as he had finished. We had learned the previous day, that when he was done eating, we all were. After finishing the washing and drying, I turned to him to await the directions of the day.

"Today's lessons will be another hour of reading the dictionary to improve Abby's vocabulary. Start from where you left off yesterday. After that, continue your reading from the 'A' encyclopedia for another hour. Abby will have two hours of play time, while you get this house clean, Victoria. It's disgusting. Once you're done cleaning we'll have lunch and plan the rest of the day. I can't listen to you go on and on today, I have things to take care of it my room."

It was practically an exact repeat of the previous day's speech, but I listened intently anyway. I nodded at the end to show I understood, and ushered Lily into the living area.

I opened the dictionary to begin reading to Lily. "Where did we leave off yesterday? Okay, here we are. Airn-noun, plural airns…" I carried on from there, droning on through the pages, struggling to keep my place. After a while, the words started to blur on the page, as I felt the medicine start to kick in. Lily would pinch my leg lightly when I would trail off, unable to keep my focus. It seemed an eternity before the clock on the mantel showed an hour had passed.

I returned the dictionary to the bookshelf, and picked up the encyclopedia, the book feeling like it weighed twenty pounds in my altered state. The edges were well-worn; it must have been used. The outside cover was faded…All of a sudden the book was knocked from my hands. _How long was I standing there? _I looked up, startled and dazed, into James' cold gray eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here? I said you had one hour to read. Not a fucking hour to fondle the goddamn thing!" He stepped aside me to the jars, and dropped another marble into mine. At the rate the morning was going, it was going to be difficult to distinguish the two by the end of the day.

He turned back to me and let out a low, dark chuckle."Pick it up."

I knelt down to pick up the fallen book, but as I reached for it, his foot came down on my hand. Biting my lip to keep in my whimper, I tried to pull it out from underneath his foot. But he crouched down, studying my face intently.

"You just keep making it worse and worse for yourself. Don't you understand I don't want to have to do this to you? I'm starting to think you can't help it, like maybe you really are that fucking dumb. Now pick up the fucking book and get to it." He stalked away, down the hall and back into his room.

I picked up the encyclopedia hastily, and resumed my seat next to Lily. Taking my hand into hers, she studied it seriously, looking for injury. It didn't feel broken, and I had enough experience with broken bones to be sure. I would probably have a pretty ugly bruise for a few days, though. I withdrew my hand slowly from hers to take her mind off of it. "Let's start our reading, okay?"

Her eyes went from my hand to my face as I spoke, but it didn't seem like she heard me. She turned to look at the jars on the mantel, her eyes narrowed in on them, obviously trying to figure them out. I hurried to distract her. I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Pinch me if you have to, that was a big help. You're such a good helper for me." She settled in closely to me then, with a small proud smile on her face, but I noticed her eyes still glanced back up to the mantel one more time.

_Better start thinking about how I'm going to handle that conversation. I'm pretty sure it wasn't covered in those Psych classes, though._

_Ouch._

Oh, she pinched me. I smirked at her. "Good girl." I started the reading, a little bit more able to keep up with it, since there were pictures to help me focus on. That hour passed rather quickly, as we actually enjoyed ourselves, looking at all the pictures. I heard James' boots stomping down the hallway and sighed, noting our place in the book before closing it. Standing and turning to face him, I waited for him to speak.

"Hour's up. What did you learn about, Abigail?"

She looked frightened to be put on the spot, but recovered quickly. "Um…A. A. Milne wrote Winnie the Pooh. And aardvarks have long sticky tongues."

He narrowed his eyes at her, with a disappointment written clearly on his face. Before he could respond though, she started up again. "And aardvarks aren't related to anteaters, even though they look the same. And there's animals called aardwolves but they don't look like aardvarks because they're related to hyenas."

His face broke into a smile, and he nodded at her approvingly. "Good. Good job, Abby. You are so smart. Just like your daddy."

Her little green eyes darkened, and she jutted her chin out defiantly. "Yes I am. I am smart, just like _my daddy._"

I sucked in a breath, and pulled her to my side, but he seemed oblivious to her insinuation. _It would appear Little Thing is a bit of a spitfire._ I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized he wasn't going to catch on. _You're obviously not that smart. _After putting the almanac back on the shelf, I took Lily by the hand to lead her to our room to play while I cleaned.

James' cleaning supplies consisted of vinegar…and more vinegar. I was pretty sure I would never be able to be around the stuff again for the rest of my life. The smell alone would have made me nauseous, but the hazy fog I was under didn't help. Using an old rag, I dusted all the surfaces in the cabin, even though no dust had accumulated since the day before. I swept and mopped, using the vinegar. I took my time picking up in our room, so I could watch Lily play.

She had a few dolls, and a wooden set of blocks. She seemed fairly content with them, and I was glad she had something to play with. _But where is the girl they belong to?_ "What?"

"Huh?" I asked brilliantly.

"You're staring at me." She cocked her head to the side, trying to figure me out.

"Oh. Sorry. I spaced out for a minute." I resumed cleaning up our room, noticing the hamper was starting to get full. I hadn't gone in the laundry room yet, but I was fairly certain I could figure out the machines. _I wonder if I'm supposed to do his laundry too._ That thought made me snort. _Of course you are, he's living in a 1950's Twilight Zone._ Mustering up all my courage, I went to his room, freezing with my hand raised to knock on the open door frame.

James was standing in front of the mirror to his dresser, talking to himself silently, gesturing wildly with his hands. _What the fuck is he doing?_ I stood there in shock, until he noticed me in the reflection. "What?!" he snarled.

"Um…I needed to start a load of laundry, and I wanted to see if you had any clothes that needed washing."

He didn't answer, instead stomping over to his closet and pulling out a hamper. He threw it at me, and I tried to catch it, but my reflexes were too slow. _Is this what being high feels like? God, I feel dumb._ He rolled his eyes at my clumsiness, but didn't say anything thankfully. _Lucky me._

I stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to approach my next thought.

"What the fuck are you waiting for?"

"Um...well...I think it scares Abby when you hurt me in front of her," I rushed out in one breath.

"I don't hurt you in front of her," he denied, dismayed.

"Well, it's just earlier...With the book? She seemed really upset..."

"Maybe she was upset because you're a dumb bitch."

_Right, so this conversation is going nowhere fast, so let's exit stage right before he gets pissed._

Nodding in deference to him, I picked up the hamper and walked away quietly.

Walking back to our room, I picked up our hamper as well, and went inside the laundry room. I took my first look around the room. There was a washer and dryer, with a large bucket of powdered detergent on top of the dryer. There was a large deep freezer behind me against the other wall, and I used it as a makeshift table to sort out the clothes. After starting the first load of colors, I turned around to put the whites back into the hamper. As I scooped up the clothes, my hand brushed against something, making it clank. It was a padlock around the handle of the freezer. _I wonder if this is where he hid the gas? Or the gun?_ I shook my head at my thoughts. I was pretty sure gas would freeze. It didn't matter. Once I had stowed away enough supplies to last us about a week, and figured out how to overpower him, we wouldn't be sticking around.

_That reminds me. Must find way to hide food._

Gah, it was so hard to focus. During my cleaning time, I decided, would be my best chance at hiding away food. He was distracted in his room, and my movement around in the kitchen shouldn't raise his suspicion. I could always lie and say I was organizing the pantry. The closet in our room would be my best hiding spot, behind all the clothes. He never went in there, and the door to it was always closed anyway. But should I tell Lily, or hide it from her too? That seemed like too much responsibility to place on her tiny shoulders, too big of a secret to expect her to keep. But if she found the food and asked questions about it in front of him…I shuddered to think of James' reaction if he found out.

_Okay, so goals for the day:_

_Do not piss James off anymore today_

_Hide at least one can of food in closet_

_Figure out what to tell Lily about food in closet_

_Prepare for inevitable conversation with Lily about the marbles_

_Think of way to incapacitate him_

I made my way back into the kitchen, listening for James. I could hear him in his room, still muttering to himself. Grabbing a dusting cloth to use as an excuse in case he caught me in the pantry, I slipped quietly inside. _Protein, that has to be the most important thing to keep up our strength._ Wrapping a can of baked beans in the rag, I peeked my head out of the pantry, before stepping out and closing the door behind me. Humming the Mission Impossible theme in my head, I tiptoed through the kitchen and darted inside our bedroom.

Lily looked up at me curiously, but I held my finger to my lips in a shushing gesture. Her eyes widened, but she nodded silently. I opened the closet door as quietly as I could, and placed the can in the far corner of the back of the closet. Stepping back a few feet, I made sure it wasn't visible from any angles in the room. Once I was satisfied, I closed the door again, and turned around to grin at Lily. I mouthed, "Later," to her, and walked quickly back out.

With new energy, I resumed my cleaning, finishing the laundry just in time for James to come into the room barking for lunch. Lily scurried into the kitchen, taking her seat at the table. As I cooked the macaroni, I felt the euphoric feeling from the medication wane, leaving a bitter headache in its place. The smell of the food cooking started to make me feel nauseous, and I tried to swallow down the hard lump in my throat, but my mouth was unbearably dry. I fetched a glass of water while the pasta boiled, but my perception was off as I tried to set it back down on the counter.

I saw it falling, but my brain couldn't convince my muscles to move in time to save it from shattering to pieces on the floor. Looking automatically to James, I saw his face turning red in anger. He said nothing, but stalked over to me, stopping in front of the mess of glass. Bending over and picking up a large shard, he held it up, turning it with his fingers right in front of my face.

"Why do you have such disrespect for my things, Victoria? Don't you know how lucky you are for everything I've given you?" He seethed quietly to me.

I gulped hard, not able to tear my eyes away from the glass he held. "I'm so sorry, James. It was an accident, I didn't mean to. I do have respect for your things, I'm so sorry. Please don't be angry." I was whispering by the end of my plea, terrified of what he meant to do with the glass.

Narrowing his eyes on me, he stood for minutes, though it felt like hours, contemplating hard about…something. The sound of the water boiling over pulled him from his reverie. "Goddamnit, Victoria! Two fucking days in a row! You ruin everything! Finish fixing lunch for me and Abby now, and then take your fat clumsy ass and clean up this shit while we eat, you hear me?" He threw the glass down at my feet, and marched away from me to the fireplace, adding in another two marbles.

_Aw, hell. Mission number one=failed._

Stepping carefully around the glass, I hurried over to the stove and pulled the pot of macaroni off the burner. I drained and mixed it quickly, serving it up for the both of them. James seated himself forcefully and dug right in, but Lily just stared at her plate. Tapping her foot under the table with mine, I tried to give her a small smile. She didn't smile back, though. Pushing her plate over to where I would sit, she crossed her arms in defiance.

"Mommy's not fat. And I'm not eating if she's not."

_No, no, no, no…_

"Abigail, you will not take that tone of voice with me. Don't argue with me about your mother. She deserves what she gets. She is not eating, but you better. Right now."

"I don't want to!" she whined loudly.

"Enough!" He slammed his palms down on the table, making us both jump. "What did I tell you? If you're bad, then I have to hurt Mommy. Is that what you want? Huh?"

Her eyes widened in shock as she recalled his warning. She shook her head, afraid, with tears filling her eyes. He continued to burn her with his gaze, apparently expecting an apology for her outburst. I nudged her foot again to get her attention. She looked up at me, and I mouthed, "Say sorry."

She blinked at me, and turned back to him, her voice meek in comparison to her strong tone just seconds ago. "Sorry."

In an instant, his entire demeanor changed, his body relaxed, and his face broadened with his creepy-ass smile. "Oh, baby. I know you didn't mean it. Maybe Mommy should take you to lay down for a nap after lunch. Do you feel tired, Abby?"

"Mommy can lay down with me?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yes, she'll probably need to. It's time for more of her medicine." His eyes darted back up to mine. "Clean up the kitchen, and then I'll give you your next dose. Unless you have a problem with that?" He smiled sardonically at me.

"No, James." Turning without another word, I set the pot back on the stove, and went to the laundry room to fetch the broom. I took a moment to collect myself. My hands were shaking from what had almost occurred; I had been so afraid he was going to hurt her. If he had tried, what could I have done to stop him? Hit him with the macaroni pot? It was aluminum, barely weighing a pound. For once, I was able to shake myself out of my daydream, before James grew even more angry.

_What the fuck am I going to tell Lily about the marbles?_

Sweeping up the glass, I deposited the shards into the trash can in the pantry. While they continued eating, I cleaned up the mess from lunch, my stomach growling at the smell of the leftovers I poured into the Tupperware. _Ugh. And I'm not eating dinner. Worst diet ever._ Once the kitchen was cleaned, James waved us both into our bedroom, but not before handing me two more pills, this time both black. I swallowed them painfully, as my throat was completely dry again. I opened my mouth quickly and lifted my tongue to show him I had swallowed them. He barely acknowledged me, turning to Lily instead.

"You get some sleep, Abby. You'll feel better after your nap. Mommy won't let you have any bad dreams." He gazed down at her adoringly. Her little jaw clenched, and I squeezed her shoulders lightly in warning. She nodded to him, and then turned away, padding over to the bed. "I'll get you up when it's time to make supper." With that, he shut the door in my face, locking us in.

Turning to face Lily, I felt immediately weary of the upcoming conversation. Her little arms were crossed, and she looked _pissed._ I walked over to the bed slowly, and sat criss-crossed across from her. Having absolutely no experience with kids, I didn't know what to expect.

"I want to go home," she declared petulantly.

"Me, too," I replied softly. "But we can't, yet," I added.

"Why not?" she whined. "Where is my daddy? Why hasn't he found me yet? Isn't he looking for me?"

"Of course he is! And so is mine, but James took us far away, and I think it might just take them a little longer to find us," I lied. I had no idea where he had taken us, if we were even still in the country or not. The cabin was simply built, making me wonder if James had constructed it himself. As much as I hated to admit it, he didn't seem stupid enough to go to all this trouble, only to take us to a place where police could find record of his residence. That was why I had taken it upon myself to get us out of here. I wasn't going to wait around to get rescued.

"Lily," I whispered. "I have a plan."

Her eyes lit up immediately. "What is it? What is it?" She shrieked, bouncing loudly.

"SHHHHHH!" I threw my hand over her mouth to quiet her. "We can't let him hear us, okay? And you have to not mention it ever, no matter how mad you get around him. Do you promise?"

She held out her pinky expectantly. "I _pinky_-promise. And I cross my heart." She used her other hand to make an 'x' on her chest.

I laughed lightly at her. "I haven't made a pinky promise in years." I dropped my smile to a stern line. "You know that's unbreakable, right? You have to keep the secret forever until I say."

She nodded solemnly. "No take-backs."

I smiled at her sweetness. "Exactly. No take-backs." We linked pinkies together, and I gave her finger a little kiss before releasing it.

"What was that for? That's not part of the pinky promise." She looked at me curiously.

"That was just because."

"Because why?"

"Because I love you." She threw her arms around my neck as I said this, hitting my bruised rib with her knee. I hissed at the contact, and pulled her back slowly, trying to hide my grimace as I did so.

"Bella? What's wrong? Didn't you want my hug?" She pouted, looking hurt.

"Of course I did! I just twisted the wrong way and it hurt a little bit. That's all." I hurried to reassure her. She began looking at my body studiously, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. _Time to distract._

"So do you want to hear my plan?"

Her eyes snapped to mine, and she nodded her head furiously. "What is it? What is it?" she stage whispered.

"Okay, okay. Shhh. You remember earlier when I was cleaning, and I hid that food in the closet? Well, once I get enough hidden away, we'll pack it up to take with us."

"But how will we get out? He has all those keys," she asked.

I sighed. "That's the hard part. I have to figure out a way to get past him. But I can't even try until we have everything ready to go. So I need for you to be patient and wait for me to get everything ready. Can you do that Lily? Can you be a big girl for me? I need you to be good, even when it's hard."

She nodded exuberantly. "Oh, yes, Bella. I can be a big girl. I'm more than four and a half now, you know. So I'm almost five, and that's almost old enough for school. I'll be good, I swear."

Smiling at her, I stroked her cheek. "Lily, you _are_ good, already. This is so hard, and you've been doing so well. I'm so proud of you, and I can't wait to tell everybody how good you did while we were here. Now, are you really tired? Or do you just want to talk?"

She tapped her chin in concentration. "Hmmm. I think I want to cuddle while we talk. What can we talk about?"

"Ummm. Maybe we could talk about something I was thinking about earlier. About how I'm going to make you my special pancakes? When we're out of here, and if we had the whole day to do _anything_ we wanted to…What would be your perfect day? Starting with waking up all the way through to bedtime."

She grinned at me as we settled into the blankets. "A perfect day? For us? I think I would sleep late, and I want your special pancakes for breakfast. But I want to get to help mix them. And I don't want to take my plate to the sink after I'm done," she grumbled.

"Okay, so for one day, our perfect day, we make the best pancakes ever, and you don't have to clean up your dishes."

She bounced lightly, excited. "Ooh! And then we get dressed, and we do our makeup and nails and hair so we look beautiful."

"And then what do we do, after our makeover? Where are we going to go looking so beautiful?" I grinned at her.

"Disney World! So we can spend the whole day meeting all the princesses, you can meet Belle, and I'll meet Ariel. I saw a commercial and it showed a parade and fireworks! And teacups! I want to spin on the teacups!" Her voice got progressively louder as she described our destination.

"Shhh. Remember, we have to be quiet… So, Disney World, huh? I've never been there. Who is going to take us? You know we have to go on a plane ride to get there. Have you ever been on a plane ride to Disney World?"

She shook her head emphatically. "No, I've never been, but that's what makes this the perfect day! We get to go somewhere we've never been before! And I want my whole family to be there, and your daddy and mommy can come too."

"Did you know….that my mommy lives in Florida already, and that's where Disney World is? She lives there with my stepfather-"

"Like a wicked stepmother?" she asked with fearful eyes.

"Oh no. Phil's not wicked. He, uh, plays baseball." I hoped that explanation would suffice.

She looked away, contemplating. After a couple of seconds, she seemed satisfied. I decided to redirect us. "So I guess we'll have to fly to Florida the day before-"

She interrupted me again. "Where is Florida?"

"It's at the bottom of the country, and it's surrounded by water. So there are beaches everywhere, and it's always warm. It's sunny there a lot; it doesn't get very cold there at all."

"So it's not in Seattle?" she asked innocently.

I snorted at her, because it never occurred to me that the concept of geography would be too much for her. "No, Little Thing. It is definitely not in Seattle. But if we flew down the day before, we could wake up late, just like you wanted, and make breakfast, and then have our makeover so we could go be beautiful princesses at Disney World. I just hope they don't get you confused with the real Ariel. Since you're going to look _so_ beautiful, and you have beautiful red hair. What will we do if Prince Eric wants to marry you instead?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, and I bit my lip to keep in my laughter. _It would appear I have gone too far in my silliness._ "Bella, Prince Eric is already married to Ariel. And they have true love, so he would always know who she is… But I will look beautiful. Me and Aunt Alice will have so much fun making you over!"

I smiled weakly back at her. I _hated_ makeovers with the fire of a thousand suns, and very rarely wore makeup. But if that's what would make her perfect day, then I could suffer through it once. Just for the day. As long as it didn't become a regular thing.

"We can do your whole wardrobe!"

_So much for that._

"Well, what will we do after Disney World?"

She tapped her chin, thinking. "We would go back to our room, and we would wear brand new pajamas, I would have Hello Kitty ones and you could have cupcakes ones, as long as they're pink. And we would make popcorn and stay up all night watching movies."

"Can we mix M&M's in with the popcorn? That's my favorite way. And what movies will we watch? Who's going to be part of our slumber party?"

"All the girls, of course. Your mommy, and Nana, and Aunt Ali, and Aunt Rose. Boys can't have sleepovers with girls. You eat the M&M's together? Is that good?"

"Oh yes. It's the best. You'll see. So what movies?"

She pursed her lips. "Well we have to watch The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast. What's your favorite movie?"

I crinkled my nose at her. "You mean kid movie? Because I don't think you can watch my grownup favorite movies."

Nodding at me, she replied, "No, kid movies. Grownup movies are boring. Too much talking and kissing and stuff."

"Well…Have you ever seen Rainbow Brite? She was my favorite cartoon when I was your age. I had a Rainbow Brite doll, and her horse, and all the sprites…" I lost myself in reminiscence.

"Sprites? You mean like soda? What's Rainbow Brite? If that's your favorite movie, I want to watch it too."

"Oh, silly girl. Sprites are these little colorful things that live with Rainbow Brite. They're her friends and they're each a different color. And I think I still…" My eyes fluttered as my breath caught in a yawn, the medicine catching up with me. "Sorry, baby. What was I saying?"

She frowned at me. "You were telling me about Rainbow Brite. Are you sleepy, Bella?"

I started to respond, but yawned instead. "I guess so, sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm okay, let's finish planning your perfect day."

"No, no, no. You have to rest so you can be awake enough to turn off his lights."

Confused, I was sure that I heard her wrong. "Wait. What? Why would I need to be awake to turn off the lights?"

"Not the lights, _his _lights. Uncle Em always screams at the football games for them to turn their lights off. It means you're going to have to hit him really hard."

I started giggling. "You mean knock his lights out?"

"Yeah, same thing." She popped off with a flick of her hair. "Here, we can lie down, and this time I'll sing to you."

I smiled at her sweetness. "Okay, thanks. That would be great."

We snuggled into the bed together, her singing Little Mermaid songs, and humming in the places she forgot the words. After a few moments, all her words started to blur together in my ears, and I felt myself slip into unconsciousness. It felt like I had barely closed my eyes, when I heard James toying with the locks. I looked over to Lily, who was snoring softly next to me.

"Lily," I whispered. "Lily, we have to wake up."

She groaned and stretched her arms out, arching her back like a cat. Blinking up at me a few times, she slowly came to. As James opened the door and walked in, she sat up next to me, wrapping her arm around mine tightly. He looked over at her adoringly, completely ignoring my presence. "How did you sleep, baby? Do you feel a lot better now?"

She looked up at me once, her eyes searching for assurance, and I squeezed her hand in mine slightly, giving her a little smile. She looked back to him, replying, "Yes, Daddy. I feel a lot better. Is it time to make dinner now?"

He chuckled at her. "It sure is, baby. You were sleeping for a long time. Are you hungry? What do you want Mommy to make for dinner?"

She shrugged, moving to get off the bed, pulling me with her. "I don't know. Come on, Mommy. Let's go look."

I was nervous to walk in front of him, leaving him in our room, paranoid about him finding the food in the closet. But he followed quickly behind us, letting me release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. We went into the kitchen and entered the pantry, as James started messing around in the refrigerator. Looking around, I had trouble focusing, still groggy from the nap.

"Do you like beans and rice? It's pretty delicious. When I was little, I used to pretend the beans were bugs." I quirked an eyebrow at Lily, wondering how adventurous her tastes were.

Her nose crinkled. "Eww. Why would you want to pretend to eat bugs? Bugs are yucky and scary. Except for ladybugs. I love ladybugs. And butterflies. And roly-polies. But not ants. Or spiders. I _hate _spiders. Ooh! But I love-"

"Ahem." I cleared my throat to cut off her rambling, even though I was very interested to hear about her approved bug list. I smiled indulgently at her, because she really was just so cute. "Beans and rice?" I asked simply.

"Okay, I'll try it." She frowned as a thought came to her. "Wait. Are you eating dinner?"

I smiled sadly at her. "Not tonight, sweetie. I'll be okay. You remember what we talked about? About even when it's hard?" I looked at her pleadingly, even though I knew what I was asking her to acquiesce was irrational and illogical and cruel.

Her eyes darted around the pantry at the various foods, and she offered me a brave smile. "Okay. _Mommy_." She tried to wink at me, but ended up just blinking at me instead, since she couldn't control both of her eyelids.

I winked back with both eyes as well, and grinned at her. "That's my brave, strong helper. C'mon! Let's go make some bugs!" I walked out of the pantry, with Lily trailing my heels, giggling.

"Yucky! Not bugs!"

We continued to make dinner together, talking all about acceptable bugs, and unacceptable ones. She was shocked to learn I had a pet tarantula as a teenager, but got rid of it when I learned it had to be fed live mice. We talked about various bug farms, and I made a mental note to get her one of each once we were free of this place.

_We are going to have quite a lot to do._

_It's going to be awesome._

Just as I began to feel a renewed sense of energy, James motioned me over to his place at the table with his finger. Once I had approached him, he simply opened his hand to reveal two more black pills. _Ugh. I hate the black ones._ Sighing heavily, I took them from him and swallowed immediately. Still groggy, I started to turn around to continue with dinner, but was stopped by his harsh grip around my arm, jerking me back to him. My clumsiness landed me awkwardly in his lap, and I automatically cringed, trying to jump off of him. He held me down firmly, taking his hand and fiercely grabbing my cheeks to squeeze my mouth open.

"You forgot to open wide, baby. Never forget. I already told you. You'll never get the chance to do it again." He whispered menacingly, inches from my face.

I nodded as best I could with his hand holding my face painfully, and he released it, only to drop his hand to my throat. He didn't squeeze like I feared he would, but instead stroked it, _affectionately?_ I opened my mouth, and then lifted my tongue.

"Good girl. You'll thank me later."

_Not fucking likely, asshole._

He pushed me off of him, and swatted my ass as I walked back to the counter to cook, where Lily was looking at him frozen. When I reached her, I scooped her up to place her in her spot on the counter. Once she was eye level with me, I gently turned her chin to meet my eyes and gave her a small smile and wink. I mouthed, "Remember."

We finished cooking quietly together, but instead of helping me stir the ingredients as they cooked, Lily took it upon herself to nudge me when she noticed me zoning out. I smiled thankfully at her each time. As we finished up, I helped her off the chair next to the stove, and she dragged it over to her place at the table. The pan felt extremely heavy, and it was difficult to hold it up in my altered state. Serving them carefully, I took care of the leftovers, noticing that they were adding up in the fridge. I decided to ask about them after he was done eating, afraid to interrupt him.

By the time I had finished washing the dishes, and _carefully_ drank a glass of water, they were done eating. As I washed their plates, I addressed James cautiously. "Um… James?"

"Yes, Victoria?"

"I was just noticing the leftovers in the fridge, and wanted to know if you wanted to plan a leftover night, or have them for lunches or something." When I heard no response, I hurried quickly to flatter him, just in case he was pissed at me for speaking out of turn. _Goddamn caveman._ "I would just hate for food that you worked so hard to provide us with to go bad." I turned around to give him a small smile, hoping that was the right thing to say.

"You're goddamn right I worked hard to give you that food. It's about time you started sounding grateful for it. I've never enjoyed punishing you the way I have to, Vicki, but you have to understand the importance of your place. I'm so glad you're coming around, I think you deserve a reward. Tomorrow you'll be getting to eat everything that's been left over. You'll still need to make fresh food for me and Abby, but you can join us with each meal." He nodded his head to me approvingly, before turning his gaze to Abby.

"You ready for your bath, baby?"

She nodded in return, getting up silently and walking back into our room. I followed after her, and bathed her quickly, dreading what I feared came next. Sure enough, as soon as her pajamas were on and her teeth brushed, he dragged in her basket of toys smiling at her, before turning to me and motioning for me to follow him. Lily tried to grab my hand as I walked over to him, but I shook my head at her and led her over to the toys. I kissed the top of her head, murmuring softly to her, "I'll be okay."

He locked her in the room, and then grabbed the jar off the mantel as I waited for him in the hallway. Taking me by the hand, instead of shoving me this time, I had to wonder as to what was going on. He almost seemed…_nice?_ But wasn't he about to hit me? Closing the door behind him, he set the jar on his bedside table, and took his belt off silently. _Yes, yes he was_. My eyes were glued to him, transfixed like a mouse by a snake as he walked back towards me.

I expected him to strike, but instead he set it on the bed. He grabbed me suddenly, and began to kiss me. Too shocked to react, I just stood there, my mouth unrelenting to his. Jerking back, he looked at me angrily.

"Why? Why did you do it Vicki? Do you know what it did to me when you left? You took her away from me, and you abandoned me. It destroyed me. I tried to forget about you. I did. I tried to fuck you out of my system, but I couldn't. It's like I'm broken since you went away. It was pure luck I found you when I did that day. Why?!" He roared at the end, shoving me down face first onto his bed.

Snatching up his belt, he poured the marbles down next to me on the mattress. I could feel the medication heavily in my system now, and I felt really stoned. He sifted his fingers through them with me on my stomach beside them. It seemed hazy around me, like a dream. _A really fucked up dream._ I heard him snap his belt a few times before it landed on the back of my legs. Even through my jeans, it stung badly. It took my brain a second for the pain to register though, and I forgot to count it off.

"Count!" he screamed.

"One!" I tried, but he cut me off.

"No! Too fucking late! Start over."

Smack! "One!" Smack! "Two!" He went on and on, and after eight, I couldn't continue. I was sobbing, but he didn't even notice. Finally, I heard him throw his belt across the room, the buckle clanking loudly on the floor. He whipped me around by my arm painfully, shoving me down to keep me on the bed.

He fondled himself through his jeans, but then suddenly screamed. Grabbing me up by my shirt, he screamed frantically in my face while shaking me. "What the fuck did you do! I don't fucking work anymore! You broke me, you little bitch! Why couldn't you let me love you the way I needed to?! You took her from me. I had to punish you. Don't you see that?! But you couldn't fucking handle it, and you left me. You ruined everything! Everyth-"

"DADDY!!"

_No. Lily, what are you doing?_

He glared at me, scowling at me as he noticed my ripped shirt. "Cover yourself. You look like a fucking whore. And quit fucking crying."

I wiped at my cheeks quickly, not even realizing I was still crying. Pulling my shirt around myself with shaky hands, I tried to understand what just happened. I thought he was going to rape me. _Could he not get it up? Is that what he means by broken? Thank fucking God for small miracles, I guess._

He stomped back toward the hallway, opening the locks with haste. Throwing the door open, he revealed a crying Lily. He walked over to her in two strides and crouched down to eye level. "What's wrong, baby? Did you have a bad dream?" It was like a switch had been flipped in him, as he spoke to her softly.

_Oh my god, he's fucking crazy. Oh my god, he's fucking crazy. Oh my god..._

She sniffled, nodding her head as more tears fell. He wiped them away, unaware of her flinching as he did so.

_Hands OFF, asshole._

Unsure of the consequences, but not really caring at that point, I walked past him and swept her up into my arms. I cradled her, shushing her softly. "Maybe I should just put her to bed? What do you think, James?"

He almost looked…pained?...as he gazed at her. Keeping his eyes on her, he nodded in the affirmative, then turned and walked out. I heard the locks clicking and keys jangling behind the door, and finally exhaled as I heard his footsteps retreat down the hallway. Barely making it over to the bed with her in my arms, we fell on top of it in a heap.

"Hey. Hey. It's okay, Lily. He's gone now. I'm back. You're okay. It's okay to cry. I'm here." I crooned to her softly. "What can I do to make it better?"

She didn't respond, just continued to cry softly into my shirt, as I rocked her back and forth. After a few moments, she rasped out, "Did he spank you again? I could hear him yelling at you. I was so scared."

I closed my eyes in pain, hating that she knew he hurt me, wishing I could spare her from all of this. _We are going to be in therapy forever._ "Yes. He did. I'm sorry you were scared."

_Time for change of subject._ "Did you brush your teeth yet? I need to brush my teeth and get on my pajamas." She nodded her head into my shirt, and climbed down off me from the bed to the floor. Looking up at me, her eyes zoned in on my shirt. "It's fine. It got ripped. I'm fine."

Throwing me a dirty look, she trudged into the bathroom with somberly. While I was dying to know what she was thinking, I was afraid to ask. My body ached, my brain felt fuzzy, and my stomach felt like it was on fire. I didn't want to talk about this anymore tonight. Going into the bathroom behind her, we brushed our teeth quickly, and I waited for her to exit before I flipped off the light. I giggled, remembering her hopeful comments about me turning his lights out.

"What?" she snapped.

Changing quickly, with my back to the dresser again, I raised my eyebrow at her tone. "Excuse me?"

"What are you laughing about?"

"Oh, I know what you're asking. I'm just wondering why you're mad at me?"

She growled at me. _Fucking growled._ That almost made me giggle again. _Maybe I'm delirious._ "I'm not mad at _you_. I'm just mad. I don't want to be here, Bella. I want to go home to my daddy. He would never do what James does. I want my _real _daddy," she whimpered.

My heart tore, all hints of humor gone. I stretched my arms out to her, and she ran into them tackling me, crying again. "I know you do, sweetie. I wish we could go home right now. But you remember what we talked about? We have to be patient. You know what being patient is, right? We have to wait until they find us, or we can escape, whichever one comes first. Until then, we have to do what he says. I want you to know you're such a great helper for me, Lily. I'm so glad you know that your daddy would never do what James does. Because what he does is _so wrong_, Lily. Would you like to tell me more about your daddy? I would love to hear about him. But first, let's get off of this floor."

She gave me a watery smile as we got up, and we snuggled under the covers together. Facing each other, with only the light from the moon shining in, Lily began telling me all about Edward Anthony Cullen.

I already knew he was a single father and doctor, but it sounded like he was really great at both. The way Lily spoke about him with such reverence made me smile so hard my cheeks hurt. It was hard to believe that such a short time ago, I had been completely dazzled by him, only to be now stuck in this fucked up crazy situation learning all about him from his daughter's point of view. I learned he played piano, and Lily was supposed to start lessons after her fifth birthday in September. She decided I would also be taking lessons with her after I told her my birthday was also in September.

After a while, she began to tire. "Bella?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Will you sing that grownup song from last night? I like that one a lot."

I smiled. _Going to make this girl a Beatles fan._ "Sure, sweetie. After I sing that one, would you like to hear another different grownup song?"

She thought it over for a moment. "I guess. As long as it's happy. And it's good."

Laughing at her, I replied, "Happy and good. Got it."

We sang 'All you need is Love' together again, and then I launched into a pretty awful rendition of 'Across the Universe', but she seemed to like it. Even if she did request for me to keep singing the first one until she fell asleep. After she had drifted off, I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, just like the night before, trying to get a grip on myself.

_Okay, so we're stuck here until someone finds us, or we can escape._

_He's going to keep hitting me until we can get free. Definite motivator._

_Apparently since Victoria left him, he can't get it up. Let's hope that doesn't change._

Thinking about our situation began to make my head hurt, so I snuggled back with Lily, resting my head on hers. As much comfort as it gave her to talk about her dad, it gave me some too. To be reminded that James wasn't normal. That he shouldn't be hurting us like this. That her father never would, because he sounded like a really good man. I hoped once we were free of this place, I could get to know him, so I could stay in Lily's life. I couldn't imagine being away from her, and I hoped he and I could be friends.

That was the first night I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

**Please review. I'm ready for it.**

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	10. Chapter 10 Day 7 July 23rd Pt 1

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine. Copyrighted 2010. So no stealing!**

**A/N: I was really glad to get such great feedback after last chapter. Thanks to everyone for your reviews, they really help encourage me. I'm getting new readers everyday, and it's been really exciting to hear my story talked about on different forums. EBT beta'ed this piece of work for me, I can really never thank her enough. **

Chapter 10: Day 7, July 23rd Pt. 1

EPOV

We made our way back up the stairs to the main floor, where thankfully everyone had cleared out. We continued to make light of Renee's cooking and other quirks while we dug into Carlisle's twenty-eight year aged scotch and ate cold pizza. I didn't know how much we drank, but at some point I remembered being taxied to my room, where I fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * * * * * * *

_Sitting on the swing at Lily's favorite playground, I feel the wind blow through my hair. I look at the families around me playing, and my heart aches for my lost little girl. Feeling utterly forlorn, I stand to leave, hands in my pockets. As I turn to walk away, I see her. Bella. She's walking by the duck pond, she's handing a little girl some bread crumbs…Is that Lily? LILY!_

_I run towards them, screaming their names, tears running down my face. I've found them! They were right here this whole time! As I reach them, Bella notices me, and her eyes grow wide…and fearful? _

"_Bella! Lily! Oh my god! We thought you were both gone forever! I can't believe I've found you!"_

_I start to reach for Lily to hug her, when Bella throws her behind her body, the same as she did in the store before James._

"_Excuse me, but who are you?"_

_I'm floored. "What are you talking about? It's me, Edward, we met for a moment, and then he took you both away. Lily, that's Lily, and she's my daughter."  
_

_She grabs Lily's hand and starts to walk away from me quickly. "I'm sorry but you must have us mistaken for someone else. My name is Vicki, and this is my daughter Abby. My husband should be here any minute, he just went to buy more bread for the ducks. If you'll excuse us, please."_

_I see red. She can't take her away from me. I grab her arm so she has to stop. "You're not going anywhere with my daughter. Her name is Lily."_

"_Hey!" a voice calls from behind us._

_A relieved look comes over Bella's face, as she shrugs her arm from my grasp. "James!"_

"_Daddy!" Lily runs up to him, and he scoops her up in the air, hugging her tightly. She grins at him, her crooked smile, my smile._

_Walking over to where Bella and I stand, he eyes me up and down. "Can I help you? You seem to be harassing my wife and daughter."  
_

"_She's not your fucking daughter! She's mine!" I shout. "Lily, Lilybug, you have to tell him. Tell him who your real daddy is."_

_She looks at me, furrowing her eyebrows. "But he is my real daddy." Turning back to James, she says, "Can we go get ice cream now? I'm bored of feeding the ducks."_

_He smiles at her, reaching over and grabbing Bella's hand, still holding Lily on his hip. "Sure we can. Let's go girls."_

_He and Bella throw me dirty looks as they walk away together, the picture of a perfect family. And I can't move, my feet are stuck. I look down, and I am sinking, sinking. They are further and further away, each time I look up. The more I struggle, the faster I sink._

"_Lily! Lily!"_

"Edward! Edward! Wake up! Wake up son! It's just a dream. Wake up, son, come back to us."

I was shaken from my nightmare by my dad's calm voice. This was his doctor voice, what he used when he was in clinical mode. My eyes opened with a start, and I was afraid to blink in case the images returned. He used a cool rag to wipe my face of sweat and tears. I struggled to control my breath and calm the pounding in my chest. Every night a different nightmare, with the same end result. They would always leave with him, while I stood by helpless.

Looking out the window, I could see it was still dark. "What time is it, Dad? I'm sorry for waking you."

He shook his head sadly at me. "Don't apologize, Edward. Your mother and I were already up. She's very nervous about the interview today."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yeah, me too."

Today we were going to see our interview on Dateline. Our story would be broadcast across the country. Next week, our issue of People would hit the newsstands, solidifying our national exposure. The interviews themselves had been brutal enough, but we were extremely anxious to see them after the editing process. Sharon had warned us to be prepared for anything, and to remember the important issue, which was to get our story out there.

_Still a little nervous about having my family's private life picked apart on national TV, though._

"So what time is it?" I asked him.

Glancing at the clock beside my bed, he sighed. "It's a little after five. Would you like me to give you something to help you back to sleep?"

I shuddered at the thought of more dreams. "No, it's no use. I'll just start my day now. I'll feel better after a shower, I think."

He gave me a disbelieving look, but nodded and left me to shower. Once he closed the door behind him, I sighed, running my hands through my hair. One week. It had been one week since they had been taken. No leads. Absolutely nothing to go on, no hope to grasp onto. I was aware of the statistics, but no one dared mention them around me. They were coming home. Lily was going to start kindergarten next year; Bella was going to finish her book.

As I showered, I thought over the plans for the day. Charlie and I were supposed to go to the station together this morning, the same as we did everyday, to go over any leads or tips that had come in. Later in the afternoon, we were planning on going to Bella's apartment for the first time. He wanted to take care of any food that might possibly be rotting, and make sure all the electrical appliances were shut off. It should have been taken care of earlier, but he couldn't face seeing her place without her in it. After a long talk with Alice yesterday, which no one heard except them, he decided he was ready. She was supposed to meet us there to help us, although I suspected she wanted to get a peek into her closet.

_I wouldn't be surprised if she replaced the woman's entire wardrobe._

I dressed and brushed my teeth, ready for some coffee. _I hope Emmett got rid of the rest of Renee's broccoli soy cream cheese muffins._ Sighing in relief as I found no trace of them, I started a pot of coffee, grabbing a bagel from the breadbox. I would miss her, though. She and Phil were leaving for Florida today, because Phil couldn't stay away from his team any longer. I got the sense that she was too co-dependent on him to be able to stay here without him, a feeling which Charlie confirmed when he told me how Bella came to live with him.

Learning more about Bella over the last week from Charlie and Renee revealed a lot about her. It explained her selflessness in trying to protect Lily in the store, how she didn't abandon her once she got outside of the store. Having seen the tape from the parking lot, it was obvious from the way she looked around she was trying to find an escape. She probably could have made a run for it if she didn't have Lily, but she stayed with her.

She also appeared to be a natural care-giver. It sounded like she practically raised Renee, taking care of the bills and the cooking from such a young age. Charlie spoke about her with such reverence when he described how she always cooked for him, and still came home once a month to fill his freezer with cooked meals. As worried as I was for Lily, it gave me some comfort to know Bella was there to look out for her.

Sipping my coffee, I realized it was barely six, and no one would likely be up for at least another hour. I was too wound up to try to go back to sleep at this point, and I had to wait for Charlie to wake up to go to the station. So many thoughts running through my brain from morning to night. I needed a release. Feeling a sudden inspiration, I walked into my music room, making sure to close the soundproof doors softly. My brother and sister had gone back to their respective houses earlier in the week, but I didn't want to disturb Bella's family.

Striding silently over to my piano, I slid my hand across its glossy finish. Between work and Lily, I hardly had time to play anymore. I was supposed to start teaching Lily once she turned five in a couple of months. A song had been playing in my head for months now, something for her, that I wanted to play for her on her birthday. Now I wanted to make it happen so I could play it for her when she came home.

Turning on the floor lamp next to my piano, I then pulled out my composition notebook and pencil from the bench, and sat down. Closing my eyes, I willed my fingers to stroke the keys in rhythm with the music in my mind. My hands flew from the keys to my book, writing in the notes that sang of my love for her. I worked through the sunrise, completely losing track of time, until my mother opened the doors to my room.

She smiled softly to me, and sat down quietly on the couch across from me. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes, and I began playing her song, the song I had written for her as a teenager. When I looked up from my piano again, I saw everyone had flocked in to listen, except Charlie.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked no one in particular.

Renee wiped a few stray tears from her face. "He's in the kitchen getting some coffee. Your parents are about to take us to the airport. I wish we could stay, but…"

I shook my head, smiling at her. "No, I understand. We'll be seeing you soon enough, once they're home. I was so glad to get to know you. We'll miss you."

She ran over to me and threw her arms around my neck. Pulling back, she beamed at me. "You should play more often. You should have seen your aura. It was breathtakingly beautiful." She squeezed me one more time, and then turned to go back to Phil. I shook his hand firmly, gave him a nod, and then strode into the kitchen to find Charlie.

He was sitting at the table, scowling at his phone in one hand, while nursing his coffee with the other.

"Everything okay, Charlie?"

He looked up at me startled, then scowled again, shaking his head. "Yes, yes. Everything's fine, he just won't quit calling me." He trailed off, muttering something under his breath that sounded like "_now he cares"_ and "_filthy mutt."_

Slightly amused at Charlie's disgruntled expression, I suppressed a smile. "Who won't quit calling you?"

"Jacob." He hissed out the name like it was a bad word, peaking my curiosity instantly. However, I didn't want to pry, and I figured if he wanted to elaborate he would. Maybe he would feel more comfortable talking with Alice about this Jacob.

I let it go, and he seemed relieved to change the subject. "So are you about ready to head down to the station? We're supposed to meet Alice at Bella's around eleven."

He nodded, standing to place his now empty mug in the sink. As we started to walk out the back door, his phone buzzed again. He didn't even bother to look at it, just sighed and silenced it.

We drove to the station in a comfortable silence. Charlie wasn't the type to fill up the time with meaningless chatter. When he had something to say, he'd say it, and if he didn't, he kept to himself. There was a bit of morning traffic, but nothing too heavy, and we made good time to the station.

Walking inside to the situation room, we set to task quickly, sifting through the tips that had come through overnight. After a bit, I needed another coffee, starting to feel the effects of my lack of sleep. As I ambled slowly back down the hallway towards the detective's desks, I heard raised voices.

"You don't have any right to be here!" I heard Charlie's voice bellow.

"Goddamnit Charlie! I have every right to be here! I love her too," an unfamiliar male voice yelled back.

"No, Jacob. You don't. You gave up those rights when you tossed my little girl away like last week's trash," Charlie fumed.

_Okay, so this is Jacob. Now who the fuck is he, and what the fuck is he talking about?_

Rounding the corner, I saw a beast of a man, the size of Emmett, but with long black hair and russet skin. He was towering over Charlie, red in the face, but Charlie didn't look the slightest bit intimidated by him.

Clearing my throat to get their attention, I began, "Charlie? Everything okay here?"

Jacob twisted his face around towards me at the sound of my voice. Narrowing his eyes, he stalked towards me. "You. You're the dad of the little girl he took. Tell me what's going on with Bella."

Ignoring his not-so-polite request for information, I appraised him coolly. "I'm sorry, we haven't been formally introduced. My name is Edward Cullen, and yes, I am Lily's father. And you are?"

His nostrils flared as he tried to keep his temper in check. "Jacob Black."

I offered him a calm smile, but it didn't reach my eyes. "And how do you know Bella?"

"We've known each other since we were kids. We've been best friends-"

Charlie's angry voice roared over his. "The hell you are! You haven't even spoken to her in almost two years!"

Jacob turned back on Charlie, scoffing. Glancing around, I could see we were really causing a scene. "It wasn't for lack of trying Charlie! She wouldn't give me the time of day! How many different ways do I need to say I'm sorry? This is complete bullshit. You know I care about her; I just want to know what you know. I want to help." His voice quieted towards the end, but Jonathan and Marcus were already making their way over.

"Is there a problem here?" Marcus asked.

Jacob opened his mouth to respond, but Charlie cut him off. "There won't be, if we can just have Mr. Black here escorted off the premises. He is not included in the people who are to have access to this case."

"Charlie, c'mon. You're being completely unreasonable. Please, I drove all the way here, I've been calling-"

Two younger police officers walked up behind him then. "Sorry, sir, you're going to have to leave. Come peacefully, and we won't have a problem."

Rolling his eyes to the ceiling, I saw him clench his jaw. "Fine. But this isn't right, Charlie." He shuffled out of the room with the police officers right behind him, shaking with anger.

I looked curiously to Charlie, but he was staring after Jacob's retreating figure with pure hatred in his eyes. Once Jacob was out of sight, he caught my gaze, but he shook his head. "Let's finish up here, so we can get to Bella's," he said curtly.

Dying to know what the fuck just happened, but trying to respect Charlie's need for privacy, I nodded my head, and resumed our work. Charlie was clearly agitated, banging drawers closed, answering the phone with a growl, until finally it seemed he had enough.

"Is it eleven yet?"

Glancing at my watch, I knew whatever time it was, we needed to get out of here. "No, but we could call Alice to meet us over early, if you'd like. It's after ten anyway."

"I don't want to bother her. We'll just wait." He snatched up a folder, stuffing some papers inside it roughly, then walked out of the room, me trailing behind him.

Typing Bella's address into my car's navigation, I glanced sideways at Charlie trying to get a read on him. The silence between us was strained, my unasked questions floating in the air above us. Once we had arrived to her apartment, I parked in a visitor's space, and turned off the ignition. I awkwardly jingled my keys in my hand, unsure of what to do or say to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"He's her ex-fiancé."

"Charlie, you don't have to tell me anything, it's not my business at all, really…"

He waved a hand up to cut me off. "No, it's fine. I just needed to cool down before I tried to explain it all. They _were_ best friends, since diapers really. They stayed in touch as kids when she went to live with her mom, and when Bella decided to move home in high school to let Renee go be with Phil, they were inseparable. He always carried a torch for her, but she didn't look at him like that. I don't think she ever did, really, but I guess she could only take so many years of hints from him and his dad and…me."

He scowled, thinking hard on his next words. "When he kissed her the first time, she broke her hand on his face. She wouldn't talk to him, but I kept telling her how much he cared for her. Selfish on my part, he's my best friend's son. And he was the only boy I ever thought would treat her right. If I would have just let her be…"

Shaking his head, he continued. "They dated for a long time, until he finally convinced her to marry him. She loved him, and wanted him to be happy, didn't want to let me down too, I think. And then, after all that, he goes and bangs the wedding planner! Bella walked in on him and her going at it like bunnies, when they were supposed to planning their wedding!

"It destroyed her. She never believed she was a very pretty girl. It's why she never noticed all the boys wagging their tongues at her in high school; she never thought she was anything special. She thought there was something the matter with her because she'd rather spend her Friday nights reading a book, then drinking at a party. I thought Jacob was good for her, bringing her out of her shell, making her go to parties down in La Push, and I trusted him to watch out for her.

"But then when he did what he did, she thought she'd never be enough for anyone. If her own best friend, her fiancé, could do that to her, then how would she ever be enough for anyone else? It's taken her the last two years to snap out of it. In the end, I'm glad it happened, because she's not that timid little girl she once was. She knows she's smart, and I think she knows she's pretty, but I've, uh, never been too good giving those kind of compliments. Don't know if she'd want to hear that from her old man, anyway.

"And I'm grateful to him, in a way, for doing it before they got married, so she didn't have to go through a divorce. But she might as well have. Her whole life, all her friends were that pack of boys in La Push. And not one of them stood by her, they all stuck with Jake. I blame him for her moving to Seattle, she didn't want to stay in Forks, where she saw everyone all the time, and they wouldn't give her the time of day.

"So now all of a sudden, he hears she's in trouble, and now he decides to care! It doesn't work that way, he can't just waltz back in like that, I won't let him. I'm not going to let him prey on her once she's back, and confused and hurting. If I see him put his paws anywhere near her, I won't be held responsible for my actions."

"You understand where I'm coming from don't you? Imagine in twenty years, when Lily's Bella's age…" he trailed off.

I thought for a moment, absorbing everything he'd said. I was almost glad he didn't tell me before now, because I would have probably punched this Jacob right in the face. Cheating was bad enough, but cheating while engaged? And with the wedding planner, in the same place where you should be creating the perfect day with the love of your life? I wondered how many times he might have done that to her, and I felt angrier and angrier towards him.

I hadn't been able to save either Bella or Lily in that store, but when they came home, I would protect her from this mutt. If I had any say, she would never feel another ounce of pain in her life.

God, and what if our situations were reversed? I would have beaten his ass today. Charlie was a better man than me.

"You're a better man than me, Charlie. I wouldn't have been able to hold back when I saw him today."

He grinned at me, his frustration forgotten. "Oh, just 'cause I let him be today, doesn't mean he hasn't heard from me before. We had a nice long _talk_ after he hurt my little girl."

I grinned back. A flash of yellow caught my eye; it was Alice's Porsche. "Just in time. Alice is here."

We got out just as she zoomed into a spot. She bounded out of her car to Charlie, wrapping him in a huge hug. Or at least as huge as she could manage at her size. She slid her hand down to his and gave him a squeeze. "You ready, Charlie?"

He took a deep breath. "As ready as I can be, I guess."

He really was a better man than me. I still hadn't opened up Lily's bedroom at my parent's. I followed behind the two of them, walking inside the door to her building, and then scaling two flights of stairs. When we reached her door, Charlie paused in front of it, keys in hand, until Alice took them from his hand, and opened the door herself. She gave him a bright smile, and they walked in together.

Closing the door behind me, I was immediately overtaken by the smell of stale coffee. Walking quickly into the kitchen, I turned off a coffeepot that resembled burned sludge more than coffee at that point. Looking back in the living room at Charlie, he was standing in front of framed picture. As I walked closer, I could see it was a shot of him and Bella, wearing fishing hats with goofy grins on their faces. He reached out to touch it with a shaky finger, slowly caressing her face.

Alice sidled up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, which seemed to snap him out of it. He cleared his throat, and I chose that moment to cut in.

"I think I'll just clear out the kitchen."

Looking around, Charlie's eyes landed on a laptop on the coffee table. "I'm just going to look at that for a moment, if you don't mind."

Shaking my head, I walked back into the kitchen. Opening up the refrigerator, there wasn't much to find. _Pretty obvious why she was at the grocery store that day._ I tossed some lunchmeat and cheese in the garbage, along with some moldy bread from her pantry. Washing out her coffee pot and the other few dishes in the sink quickly, I walked back out to find Charlie reading something on the computer, and Alice nowhere to be found.

"Charlie? Do you know where Alice went?"

He looked up, startled. "Oh. Alice. She said something about checking Bella's provisions, but I'm not really sure what that meant. Sorry, I was just sneaking a look at her new book. She must have been working on this that day…"

I gave him a sad smile. "Maybe I should see what all the hype is about. You know all the women in my family are crazy over her books. I'll have to pick up a copy."

With a proud smile, he rose from the couch and walked over to a large bookshelf against the wall. After perusing for a few moments, he pulled out two books and handed them to me. "Here. I bought these for her when her book came out, because she refused to keep a copy of her own work around. She thought it was vain, but I'm just as stubborn as she is."

_So she's humble, too. Just add it to the list…selfless, caring, creative, humble, although there is apparently something severely wrong with her vision if she's unaware how beautiful she is…_

I took them from him reluctantly. "Are you sure, Charlie? I don't feel good taking from her, especially such an important gift. I could pick some up at the bookstore on my way home, or just borrow my mom's or something."

He waved me off. "Of course I'm sure, Edward. Read them. I won't usually admit this in male company, but they're actually pretty good."

I raised my fingers in the Boy Scouts sign. "Your secret's safe with me. I think I should go check on Alice now, though. Provisions means clothing, which means Alice is probably tearing your daughter's closet apart as we speak."

He raised an eyebrow, but followed me into the bedroom anyway. The bed was unmade, but the room was, like the rest of the apartment, clean. Or at least it probably was, before my sister opened up Bella's closet. She was completely buried inside it, scowling and throwing clothes behind her at random, muttering to herself.

"Alice! What the hell are you doing to her stuff?"

She whirled around to glare at me. "What does it look like I'm doing Edward? Do you not see what I'm seeing here? She has two dresses, Edward. Two! And one skirt. Charlie, what does the girl live in? Nothing but jeans and t-shirts?"

He seemed extremely amused at Alice's behavior, which was a relief. I worried he would be angry at her for disrupting Bella's things. But it would seem Alice could do no wrong in Charlie's eyes. "Well, yeah, if she's going out somewhere. At home she usually wears sweats and stuff."

I thought Alice's eyes would pop out of her head. She was even starting to amuse me, and I was used to this kind of thing with her. "Sweats?" she squeaked. "No, no, no. This will not do. I'm going to help her. When she comes home, she will have the best wardrobe known to woman. But first, I've got to clear this junk out of here. Does she not have _any_ heels? All I see are sneakers and some flats. Where are her heels?"

Charlie tried to suppress a laugh, so it came out as more of a strangled cough, but I shook with the effort it took me keep from laughing outright. "She doesn't wear heels. Uh, you don't know Bella, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but she's a bit clumsy. That girl's been to the ER more times than most doctors."

"You mean to tell me, that she Doesn't. Own. Heels. Charlie?" she sputtered. "Charlie? She has to have at least one pair. Somewhere. Every woman has at least one pair." She looked so flabbergasted and devastated, I couldn't take it anymore.

I burst out laughing, the first real laugh I'd had since they were taken. Charlie buckled over himself, holding onto his stomach for support. "Alice, honey, I have to warn you. If she comes home to a closet full of girly clothes and heels, you may not live to see the day she actually wears them."

She actually had the nerve to look offended. "Charlie, I would never steal her opportunity to get to go shopping for her new wardrobe. We'll go together when she comes home; I'm just appalled that she lives like this."

"Well, Alice, here's the thing. Bella hates shopping. She doesn't even really try on clothes when she buys them, just finds her size and leaves."

Alice just gaped at him in silence for a few moments. "I. Don't. Understand. How? How can she not try on clothes? What do you mean she doesn't like shopping? She…she…" She shook her head, as if to clear it of these offensive thoughts. "It's okay. She'll learn to love it. You'll see. I can be very persuasive."

He smirked back at her. "That you can. I'll never bet against you. But just be prepared. She's as stubborn as a mule, and don't expect her to let you pay for anything. She hates people spending money on her."

She quirked her eyebrow at him. "That's ridiculous. Of course she's not paying for anything. I'll take her to my boutique, and write everything off I give her. What kind of person doesn't like gifts? You must be exaggerating."

He shook his head at her, with a glazed look in his eye, like he was thinking over a fond memory. "No, Alice, I'm not. She never told anyone when her birthday was, so she wouldn't have to deal with any presents or attention. She's pretty shy, Alice, but like I said. She's stubborn. And she's got a bit of a fiery temper when she's crossed. Renee tried to surprise her with a sweet sixteen party and she didn't speak to her for a week. She called me screaming and yelling, about how she was so shocked, she stumbled and fell face first into the cake in front of her whole class. I couldn't stop laughing, so then she didn't talk to me for a week, either.

"She came to live with me less than a year later. The only gift she ever let me give her was the old truck I bought from Billy as a welcome home present, and she still drives it, even though she could get better. She says it reminds her of being taken care of, and I know what she means, most of the time she took care of Renee until she got Phil, and she's always worried about me." He trailed off, deep in thought, as Alice and I stared in awe of him. I had never seen Charlie so emotional, and I didn't know what to say.

"Aw, Charlie. She'll be back soon," Alice chirped, breaking the spell we were under.

He came back to earth then, clearing his throat, and blinking rapidly while focusing intently on the area behind Alice's head. "Well, let's get this stuff set aside. It's about time for lunch. I think we've been here long enough." He walked out of the room quickly, and Alice rose to follow him, but I stopped her.

"Give him a minute, Ali. Trust me."

She looked past me through the doorway Charlie had just walked through, and sighed, nodding her assent reluctantly. We set to task quickly, folding up the offensive shirts and sweats. Charlie never came back in to help, but we left him be, and when we were finished, we went back out to find him holding a photo album in his lap.

"She really was the cutest little girl," he sighed.

Alice walked over to sit with him on the couch. "Will you show us, Charlie?"

He nodded, still gazing lovingly at the album he held. I walked over to sit on his other side, and that's how we ended up spending the afternoon. He told us every story behind every broken bone. He wasn't kidding when he said she was clumsy. I learned she had broken both of her arms, her right leg, her left ankle (while trying to wear heels to prom), her hand (which I already knew about), and her nose, twice, both times in high school gym playing volleyball. He told us about the concussion she got her junior year of high school when a boy almost crushed her to death with his van on the icy parking lot outside school. We learned about her fainting spells at the smell of blood, not the sight of it. I was horrified to hear him tell of the time she was attacked in Port Angeles by a group of drunken frat boys, but he spoke with pride of her ability to fight them off with pepper spray and a few well-placed hits to their groins.

He skipped over any mention of Jacob in the pictures, I noticed, but I didn't say anything, and neither did Alice, making me wonder if they had discussed him yesterday. Whenever he would get choked up recalling a specific memory, Alice would swoop in to distract him, asking a random question about someone in the picture. Taking his time, we went through all the way to the end of the album, just in time for our stomachs to make themselves known.

Alice ran around turning off all the lights, and I grabbed the books and the garbage, while Charlie tucked the album under his arm. We made our way out together, and Alice pecked us both quickly before climbing back into her Porsche to head back to work.

Charlie and I rode back in silence, each of us lost to our own thoughts. Trying to lighten the heavy mood, I joked, "Well, I'll miss Renee, but I definitely won't miss what she calls cooking. I know she means well, but seriously, Charlie, I don't know how you didn't starve to death."

He snorted beside me, nodding his head. "You have no idea. I don't know how many nights I would stop and get fast food on the way home from work, and eat it in the car so she didn't know. At least now she's learned how to keep from burning everything every time she looks at the stove. I had to repaint our kitchen so many times, 'cause she smoked out the whole place."

I gaped at him. "Smoked out? Does she really?"

He looked confused for a second, before he caught my confusion and burst out laughing. "Oh no! I mean smoking up the place with burning food. The woman actually burned water once, and I didn't even know that was possible. Renee's never touched a drug in her life, although it would explain a lot of her behavior if she had."

Trying to recover from my unintentional insult, I stammered, "I didn't mean to imply she seems dumb or anything, she's just so…just so…"

He smirked at me. "Just so Renee? Her craziness is natural, same way Alice's is. When I first met that girl, I thought for sure she must be some kind of caffeine addict, but I've never seen her drink so much as decaf."

"Trust me, Charlie. You never want to see that girl on caffeine. You have to pry her off the ceiling, and she never shuts up. Seriously, it's insane." I shuddered at my memories of super hyper Alice. "That shit's almost frightening."

He smiled, then turned his face towards his window, losing himself in thought. I let the companionable silence weigh between us, until we pulled up to my parents'.

Once inside, we made a beeline for the kitchen, where my saintly mother had left us some sandwiches in the fridge. After eating, Charlie excused himself to his room, and I drummed my fingers on the dining room table, wondering what to do with myself. Thinking back over my afternoon, I remembered all the funny stories about Bella. I thought over what I learned she had suffered with Jacob, everything she could be suffering through now. Hit with inspiration again, and desperate to occupy my mind from my racing thoughts of worry, I found myself at my piano bench again, with a new song playing in my head.

The melody singing in my mind was deeper, darker than Lily's. It was haunting me, the soundtrack I envisioned matching her life until now. Her lack of a real childhood caring for her parents, her drive to please everyone but herself, her pain with Jacob, her struggle to become her own person. The dangers she no doubt faced in her captivity with James created a somber, yet angry tangent. Trying to calm myself, I imagined her coming home with Lily, as the song took on a happier strain. I imagined getting to know her, through talking to _her_, not her parents. The music died in my hands, as the song trailed away into the unknown, as I was unable to finish what had not yet come to pass.

There was this feeling growing in me, this fierce protectiveness towards her that had been building since the beginning, but I was only now starting to acknowledge. Each day I learned more about her, each day the dark recesses of my mind conjured up new scenarios of pain she was suffering. An overwhelming guilt encompassed me, as I could not bring myself to wish it upon Lily instead. The weak justifications in my mind, that she was an adult, she could recover, where my Lily could not.

Rubbing my eyes harshly, I remembered the books in my car. Perhaps reading could take my mind off the monstrous thoughts blazing through my mind. I closed my composition book for now, and ran out to my car to fetch the books from the backseat. Taking them back up to my room, I got comfortable on my window seat, almost excited to get this insight to Bella's mind.

I read for hours, losing myself in her story. It was so original, so different from anything I'd ever heard of before. No wonder my family loved them. I could see why a gruff man like Charlie might not like admitting he enjoyed it, given that they were definitely more fitting a women's genre, but her style of writing was fascinating to me. Her descriptions plunged me into the story, everything her characters felt, I too felt.

_Jesus Christ, I may need to check myself for a mangina at this rate. _

Setting the book aside for now, I leaned my head back against the wall, feeling tired from the day already. I must have drifted off to sleep, because some time later, a soft knock on my door woke me.

"Come in," I mumbled, still exhausted.

My mother entered swiftly, walking over to me. "Edward, it's almost time for the interview to air. Come eat something before. Everyone's just arriving now."

Alert now, I sat up, blinking my eyes. "Okay, Mom. You doing okay? You and Renee really seemed to hit it off."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'll miss her, but we'll keep in touch. She's planning on coming back soon enough. How did everything go over at Bella's today?"

I smiled, thinking of the afternoon. "I think it was hard for Charlie at first, but we ended up having a pretty good time, for the circumstances. Charlie told us more about her, and Mom, you wouldn't believe some of the scrapes she's been through." I chuckled to myself, recalling them.

My mother was silent, and when I looked at her again, she was eyeing me curiously.

"What?"

She shook her head, smirking to herself. "Nothing, dear. Come and eat, please. Make your poor mother feel better."

I threw my arm around her shoulder as I rose to walk out. "That's low, Mom. Playing the poor mother card. You should feel ashamed."

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, in a move that reminded me of Lily, she replied, "Never. That is, how does Emmett say? How I roll."

We walked down the stairs chuckling together, wrapped in each other's arms, to find my family going to town on a buffet of fried chicken and numerous side dishes.

"Good God! Are we feeding an army here, or what?!" I exclaimed, taking in the sight before me.

Emmett paused from shoveling food in his mouth long enough to respond. "Dude, are you kidding me? This is the first real meal I've had here since Renee came to town. Although if you're feeling nostalgic, she left you some treacle and cranberry tart you're more than welcome to. I fucking love Renee, but the next time she comes, we need to come up with some sort of strategy to divert her attention away from cooking, and I'm talking like bombing our own kitchen so it's unusable or some shit."

"Emmett! Language, please!" my mother chided halfheartedly. "It was very kind of Renee to try to _care _for us as she did, and she meant well, you know that."

Looking properly chastised, Emmett dropped his eyes to his plate.

"And if you're not careful, I'll tell her how much you enjoyed her orange tapioca so she'll send you a batch."

He darted his eyes back to her, shocked. "You wouldn't!"

Mom cocked her head at him. "Oh, I would. Now everybody eat, we've only got about fifteen minutes until the show starts."

I had almost forgotten about the interview we would be watching tonight. Eating quickly, I wondered what kind of hooks they would create to garner interest in our story. Sharon had already prepared us for the possibility of higher interest in Bella due to her author status, but said it really could go either way, because the 'public' always had a soft spot in their hearts for a 'lost child'.

Honestly, I didn't care either way, as long as somebody, hopefully Victoria, saw the program and stepped forward to help us. There weren't too many skeletons in our closets, and Bella's family had assured us the same held true for them as well. The whole idea of it just seemed sick to me, because the truth was twisted enough, without producers embellishing facts to create ratings.

I had barely finished eating, when my mom jumped out of her seat, clapping to gain everyone's attention. "It's time, it's time."

The food in my stomach felt like a rock as we ambled into the living room, settling in amongst the couches to watch.

"_Good evening, and welcome to Dateline, I'm Ann Curry._

_Tonight, we investigate a true tale of horror, a reminder that we are never safe in whatever we do._

_Just one week ago, today, Seattle, Washington local, Dr. Edward Cullen and his daughter, Lily, were stopping at the grocery store to buy dinner. Renowned author Isabella Swan was simply making a weekly shopping trip. Little did they know how drastically their lives would change that day, at the hands of a madman._

_We'll be back after a word from our sponsors."_

"She sounds like it's a fucking movie trailer," Rose snarled.

Sighing heavily, my mother didn't even bother to comment on Rose's language.

Tapping my fingers in time with the seconds on the clock, I waited impatiently for the program to resume.

"_And we're back. Thank you for joining us tonight on a Dateline exclusive…"_

She launched into the tragic tale of James' youth, followed by the interviews with me, my family, and Bella's. Their questions at times were probing, musing on Bella's possible relationship with James, the possibility of it all being a publicity stunt, and dissecting the abduction to an almost cruel degree. Irritated, I had almost zoned out on the program entirely, when something caught my interest.

"_After a break, we talk with the mother of the stolen child, Miss Tanya Denali. What are her feelings on the horrible circumstance her daughter is found in, and what strange relationship do they share?" _

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I bellowed. "What the fuck does that whore have to do with anything?! Those records were supposed to be sealed, how did they even find out about her?" I looked at each of my family members accusingly, daring any of them to have betrayed me, while Charlie looked on, bewildered, having never been informed of our situation.

I stormed over to the bar in the corner of the room, draining a glass of whiskey as quickly as I could choke it down, and refilling it instantaneously. Everyone stared on at me, silent. Still furious, I slammed down the next shot, then threw the glass down into the sink, shattering it to pieces. As the alcohol hit my system, I just felt defeated. For so long, I had tried to shield Lily from the truth about her mother, and now it was about to be gossip fodder. What could they possibly gain by talking with Tanya? She hadn't even seen Lily since the moment she was born. She wasn't her mother…

"_Thank you for being with us tonight. Through anonymous resources, we have discovered the identity of Lily Cullen's mother. We go now to Seattle correspondent Jessica Stanley in footage captured earlier this week, attempting to contact Miss Denali."_

The cameras zoomed in on this reporter, Jessica Stanley, chasing after Tanya, who had obviously had some work done in the years since I had seen her, attempting to question her. Tanya was trying to walk as quickly as possible away from the cameras, but the reporter was relentless.

"_Miss Denali! Miss Denali! Is it true you abandoned your daughter at birth? Were you aware of the kidnapping that occurred? What are your feelings on your daughter being taken? Do you feel any regret for not forging a more substantial bond when you had the chance?"_

Tanya, for her part, just continued walking, muttering, "No comment," over and over again. She grew increasingly irritated as she made her way inside her apartment building, where the guards would not further allow the reporters to continue. The cameras captured her waiting for her elevator impatiently, tapping her foot nervously, red in the face, with tears in her eyes.

And surprisingly, I felt nothing. It was slightly vindicating to have her not portrayed as a victim, as I anticipated her to try to do, but rather as the abandoner that she was. But seeing her, seeing her for the first time in almost five years, I realized if I felt anything towards her at all, I felt pity. Pity that she had missed out on Lily's life and love and personality. And I was glad she wasn't in our lives. Lily was better off with no mother at all, then a viper like Tanya.

I tuned the rest of the program out, uninterested in anything else they had to add. After our segment was finished, I excused myself to go back up to my room.

That night, I fell asleep reading Bella's book, and for one all too brief night, my dreams of Bella and Lily did not morph into nightmares, but instead were of us, altogether, laughing and playing as a family.

**Reviews get an outtake of Charlie and Alice's conversation. **

**Fic Rec's:**

**The Worst of Weather by YellowGlue**

**The Sacrificial Lamb by Lalina**

**The Lion and the Jackal by Lalina (sequel)**


	11. Chapter 11 Day 7 Part 2

**Disclaimer: SM own the characters, the plot is mine.**

**A/N: So who enjoyed the Charlie/Alice conversation? I had a lot of fun writing it. I needed something lighter, because writing Bella's last chapter and this one really wore me out. To those of you getting impatient with me, just know there are key points to the character's developments and relationships, and certain events that are planned out before the final end to the captivity. Something big happening in about 4 chapters. **_**There is violence in this chapter. It is not pretty.**_

**Thank you EBT, for everything.**

Chapter 11: Day 7 Part 2

BPOV

_Okay, so we're stuck here until someone finds us, or we can escape._

_He's going to keep hitting me until we can get free. Definite motivator._

_Apparently since Victoria left him, he can't get it up. Let's hope that doesn't change._

Thinking about our situation began to make my head hurt, so I snuggled back with Lily, resting my head on hers. As much comfort as it gave her to talk about her dad, it gave me some too. I needed to be reminded that James wasn't normal…that he shouldn't be hurting us like this…that her father never would, because he sounded like a really good man.

I hoped once we were free of this place, I could get to know him, so I could stay in Lily's life. I couldn't imagine being away from her, and I hoped he and I could be friends.

That was the first night I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

* * *

_Suffocating him with a pillow. Not strong enough._

_Chair over the head. But how to sneak up behind him carrying a chair?_

_Blind him with laundry detergent. Does that blind you?_

_Stab him with a fork. This is stupid._

I had been racking my brain for days, trying to think of an escape plan. If I could somehow get him unconscious, I could get the keys, we could leave, and then… what? Wander in the woods aimlessly, until we hopefully came across civilization. Whatever we did, I knew it needed to be soon. James was getting angrier and angrier every night when we 'talked'. Thankfully, Lily had decided to keep up with her nap charade, so we got some time to ourselves during the day.

Aside from his anger, I could also feel my body growing weaker. It was harder to get up each morning, my body covered in bruises. The angrier he was, the more medication he gave me. And if I thought the black pills were bad, they had _nothing_ on the green ones. I had no idea what they were, but they had a little '80' on one side, and they _fucked me up_. What was worse, was that in the morning when I woke, I felt an urge to take them as quickly as possible. I struggled to keep myself from snapping at Lily when I could feel them wear off. Missing at least a meal a day since we were taken here wasn't helping my strength either. Already, Victoria's clothes were becoming less tight on me.

_I need to get away from this place._

I wasn't sure exactly how long we had been here, but it had been several days. The quiet in the cabin was deafening, no television or radio anywhere to fill up the silence. I had considered trying to choke up the pills he gave me when we took our naps, but I was terrified of what he might do if he heard me. He didn't seem to care what combination of colors he gave me most of the time, and I was afraid what might happen if he overdosed me somehow. What would happen to Lily if something happened to me?

_I have to get us away from this place._

"Mmmph." Lily stirred beside me, groaning.

"Hey sweetie. You waking up?"

"Is it time already? I didn't hear him."

Squeezing her to my side, and stroking her back softly, I sighed. "No, it's not time yet. You can go back to sleep for a while if you want. The sun's just now rising."

"Why are you awake? Did you have another bad dream?"

My hand froze on her back. "What are you talking about Lily?"

"You talk in your sleep."

My mind raced to recall what I could have possibly dreamed about and spoken aloud. I could remember several dreams involving her dad and us, reuniting, our trip to Disney World. I had woken myself up several times with nightmares of James, but she had always been asleep then.

Trying to keep my voice light, I asked, "What did I say?"

She stayed silent for a beat too long, and then replied quietly, "Nothing."

"Then how do you know it was a bad dream? You can tell me anything Lily, I won't be upset with you."

"You just, you sounded like you were crying, and you were moving around a lot."

Not entirely sure I believed her, I still let it go for now. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what she might have heard. In some of my dreams, James didn't have the problems he was having in real life.

"So what were you thinking about when I waked up?"

"Woke up," I corrected automatically. I cringed, realizing I only did that because James insisted on it. Personally, I found it adorable. "Sorry. Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"I was thinking about how to get out of here, and how to get past James. I really am working on it, Little Thing."

"I know, Bella."

"You've been really good, you know? Being so patient. I'm sorry I don't always feel good enough to talk."

"I just don't understand, Bella. Yesterday, you didn't do anything to make him mad all day, and he still yelled at you in his room after bath time. Why is he always so mad?"

I swallowed thickly, unable to tell her the reasons for his frustration. "I don't know. I think something's really wrong with him, you know?"

_Understatement of the century._

"Do you want to go ahead and start getting ready now?"

"Yeah, I guess," she sighed.

She hopped out of bed, scampering over to the dresser, as I rose slowly off the bed, gripping the wall for support. I was pretty sure James had bruised my ribs a couple of days ago, and they were insanely sore. Moving was very difficult, which was why I needed to come up with a fight plan that involved the least amount of strength required from me as possible.

_Maybe if I aimed for his eye with the fork?_

Biting my lip to keep in my whimper of pain, I shuffled over to the closet to grab a shirt. I briefly admired our growing collection of canned food at the floor of the closet, proud at what I had managed to hide so far. The thought had crossed my mind that if I took too many cans at once, he might notice, so I took only two at a time now, and as soon as I had about twenty of them stowed away, we were breaking out of this joint.

_Somehow._

As I gathered up some underwear and socks from the dresser, I heard James bang his wake-up call on the door. I took the clothing into the bathroom and shut it behind me, then slowly undressed so I could shower. The warm spray soothed my muscles only slightly, and as I reached for the handle to shut off the water, I saw my hands shaking slightly. I could feel a headache forming, and I knew it was because it was time for my 'medicine'. As long as it wasn't another green one, I should be able to function normally without too many mistakes. I hated how my traitorous body was adjusting to his 'dosages'.

I dressed as quickly as I could, then opened the door to let Lily in so we could brush our teeth. Combing my fingers through her soft bronze girls as she washed her face, I kissed the top of her head when she was finished. "Let's go make some breakfast."

Just as we finished and walked out, James was unlocking and opening our door. "Good morning, baby! Are you hungry?"

She nodded to him, and walked past him into the kitchen taking her seat at the table. I started to pass him, but he grabbed my arm. "Wait, Vicki. You forgot to take these." He dropped three pink pills into my hand. I swallowed them warily, unable to remember if I had taken any pink ones before. I hoped they weren't worse than the green ones. He swatted my ass as I walked through into the kitchen, making me jump a bit. Hissing at the pain in my ribs, I trudged over to the pantry.

As much as I wanted to eat for breakfast, in case he didn't let me eat later, I knew if I made too much and couldn't finish, he'd punish me. So I settled on some cream of wheat and powdered eggs. I forced myself to keep moving while everything was cooking, to keep myself from zoning out. As I went to grab some glasses for water, one started to slip from my hands. I managed to catch it before it hit the counter, and as I held it in my hand I had an epiphany.

_Glass, broken glass, stab him, cut him, yes, yes, yes!_

Setting the glasses down with shaky hands, I proceeded to fill them up for the three of us, then finished up breakfast.

_Today when I get more food, I need to get a glass, too._

We ate in silence, like always, but my mind was running a million miles a minute. A plan forming in my head, a way to make a weapon, a real weapon to fight against him. I felt Lily tap my leg under the table, and my eyes darted to her immediately. She studied my face curiously, obviously questioning the no doubt excited gleam in my eye. I gave her a quick wink/blink, and she grinned, eating her food with more enthusiasm than before.

As soon as James finished, I rose up and picked up all the bowls, taking them to the sink. I started washing the dishes, taking care of the plates and pans as well. Once I was done, I turned to Lily, and we started to walk into the living room. I began to grab the dictionary from the shelf, when I heard James walk up behind me. I tensed, waiting for his next move.

"What are you doing, Victoria?"

Thinking quickly, I struggled to understand why he was upset. _Isn't this what we always do? Oh, shit._ Turning around to face him, I hurried to apologize. "I'm so sorry, James. I wasn't thinking. I should have waited for you to tell us what we were to do." _Think faster. _"I was just so eager to teach Abigail today, I got ahead of myself. I'm really very sorry. It was very stupid of me." I had learned very quickly that insulting myself was a surefire way to placate him, even more so than praising him. He really was a sick fuck.

He nodded his head, looking mollified. "Yes. Yes, it was stupid. But I expect that from you, really. I want you to read to her for half an hour today, and then you will work with her on her writing. She needs to be able to write her name, mine, and I guess yours. I want to see her alphabet, and after that you will read to her again from the encyclopedia."

"Yes, James."

"Yes, Daddy."

I went to sit beside Lily on the couch, and when I looked up I saw James still standing there, staring at me. Cocking my head to the side, I was about to ask him what he needed, but before I could open my mouth, he simply smiled at me, then tossed a marble in the jar and walked away. _Son of a bitch._ Turning my head to Lily, I gave her a quick peck, and then proceeded to start reading. "Okay, here we go. Carat-noun…."

We both hated the dictionary reading the most, because it was intensely boring, and made time go by so slowly. By the time we would start to find a groove reading and repeating to each other, my medicine would start to kick in, which thankfully made my headache go away, but did not help my concentration. Luckily, by the time the words were swirling on the page, our half hour was up, and James walked back in with a pad of paper and a worn box of crayons.

He set them on the kitchen table, and we walked over to it, sitting in our normal seats. Stalking back to his room, I opened the notebook and gasped. There was writing in it, clearly a child's. The shaky forms of letters filled the pages, beside the stronger, clearer images of an adult's. Tears welled up in my eyes, as I saw before me the first tangible evidence of Victoria and Abigail's existence. The clothes really could have come from anywhere, but _this_…This was something else entirely.

They were real.

But they were not here. I thought back on everything James had ever said. He spoke of Victoria taking Abigail away from him, and punishing her for it. So had she run away and hid her daughter, only to be caught by him, and escape again? How long ago was this? He was so angry with me when I didn't want to take the medication. He told me "he'd never let me do it again." Had she used it against him somehow? Or had she simply stopped taking it to break the controlling haze he held over her?

Either way, it didn't really matter. He watched me like a hawk when he gave them to me. He even squeezed my cheeks to make sure he couldn't feel them hiding anywhere.

Lily's soft touch on my hand brought me back down to earth. I turned through the book quickly, finding a blank page to start on. "Do you know how to write at all yet, L-Abby?"

Her eyes widened at my slip, but she recovered quickly. "Only my name, _Mommy._ So I guess no."

I smiled at her gratefully, placing a crayon in front of her. "You'll catch on in no time. Here, I'll show you how I learned." I wrote the dotted outline of each of the letters of the alphabet, and at the end wrote A-B-I-G-A-I-L. I had no idea what James' last name might be, so I hoped that her first name would be enough.

She picked it up rather easily, which didn't surprise me, because I already knew she was smart. Our half hour writing flew by, and when James walked back out into to the kitchen, she was reluctant to put the writing away. _Girl after my own heart_.

"Daddy?"

I looked to her, alarmed. "Daddy, can I keep this book in my room? I like writing and I want to more later."

He beamed at her proudly. "Let me see what you've got here, and then I'll decide." He took the book from her hands, and glanced over her work. "I like this a lot, baby. You did a really good job. Victoria, whenever she wants to write, you will help her."

I nodded quickly, secretly ecstatic that he wasn't angry at her for asking, and that she would have an outlet she enjoyed.

"Alright, time to go read more from the encyclopedia."

We walked over together as James went back in his room to do God-knows-what, and assumed our reading position. I lifted up the sleeve of my shirt, and Lily rested her hand on top of my arm, ready to pinch. There were little crescent marks all over my forearm, but those were much more preferable to James' anger.

The pink pills definitely weren't as bad as the green ones, but they were still pretty strong. My head felt like it was floating on top of my body, and all I wanted to do was just close my eyes and sleep. _Pinch._

Looking down on her, I smiled. "I love you," I whispered.

She grinned back, then turned her face back to the manual in my lap. "We're almost done with 'A'."

I nodded sadly. "Let's see if we can finish it up today. Arachnid- family arachnida…"

Our hour reading crept by slowly, and we ended almost at the end of the 'A', with my arm withstanding several new pinch marks, but thankfully no more marbles. She hadn't asked about them, but I think she had figured it out on her own.

"Alright, Victoria, get to cleaning up this place. Abby, you can go play in your room."

I placed the book back on the shelf, and she shuffled into our room. My body was so tired, it felt so heavy as I tried to move around the cabin, sweeping and mopping. Listening for James, I snuck inside the pantry with my faithful dust rag, and placed a can of corn inside. I took it to Lily, and left her to hide it in the closet. We had talked about the easiest way to keep up appearances, and James wouldn't question hearing her move around in our room the way he would me. Wiping down the kitchen counters, I kept an ear out for James. He was still in his room, moving around and muttering to himself. _Psycho._ Slipping into the pantry, I tucked a can of fruit into my rag, and walked it quickly to Lily.

Now, to get a glass. Under the pretense of putting away the dishes from the rack, I opened the cabinets as quietly as possible. Filling up the glass with some water, I took it inside our room and set it on the bedside table, leaving it for Lily to 'drink'.

"Keep that there," I whispered. I wink/blinked at her in our secret way so she knew what I meant, and she grinned at me, glancing at the closet door once, nodding her head excitedly. I grabbed our laundry, and walked swiftly back out of the room to James'.

Knocking softly on the frame, I was actually startled by the madness in his eyes. Without a word, he threw his dirty clothes at me, then shut the door in my face. Stunned, I went into the laundry room to wash the clothes. While waiting, I set out to finish dusting the house. _He is so crazy._ I had just finished folding up the clothes, when he came stalking out, barking for lunch.

Hurrying into the kitchen, Lily met me at the pantry. "What would you like to make for lunch today?"

She looked around at the different cans. "Can we make up something new?"

"Sure, that's the best way to create new recipes."

I tried not to laugh as she grabbed different cans from the shelf, corn, black beans, carrots, and spam. This would be interesting. We started mixing things together at the counter, and tossed it altogether in the skillet to warm it up. It didn't look great, but it smelled okay. I served a bowl for each of us, and set the pan back on the stove. When I turned around to face James, he had a deep scowl on his face.

"What is this shit?"

Lily's chin began to quiver, but before she could speak, I cut in. "I'm sorry, James. Do you not like it? It's a new recipe we wanted to make for you. I know I'm not a very good cook, but Abby wanted to make you something special."

His face softened slightly as he looked to her. "That was very nice of you, baby." He looked back to me, frowning again. "You need your medicine."

I sighed, hoping he had forgotten. He rose from his chair and took the Plexiglas case from the refrigerator, unlocking it using his chain of keys. He grabbed a bottle at random, and dropped two more pills into my hand. _Red. Does he have a fucking rainbow in there or what?_ I took them from him, sending a prayer out to whoever might be listening that they wouldn't make me pass out in the middle of lunch.

We ended up eating without incident, even though it tasted a bit like something my mom would have come up with. _Oh. I miss my mom._ I felt a sharp kick under the table, and realized I had zoned out again. _Damnit. _I saw that James was finished eating, and I got up quickly to take care of the dishes.

Lily yawned obnoxiously. That child had no future in acting.

"Are you tired, baby?"

"Yes, Daddy. I need my nap with Mommy."

"Alright. Victoria, finish up there quick, and then go with Abby to her room," he ordered.

I rolled my eyes, since he couldn't see me as I washed the dishes. Turning around, I could see Lily was already in our room, waiting for me. I walked past James, as he locked us in for the next few hours. Once I heard his footsteps retreating down the hall, I breathed a sigh of relief. Picking up the glass from the nightstand, I waved Lily to follow me into the bathroom. Pouring the water down the sink, I wrapped the glass in a towel. "Wait here," I whispered. She nodded frantically.

I ran over to the closet and slipped on my shoes before running back to the bathroom. "When I say 'go', flush the potty, okay?"

Her hand flew to the handle, frozen, waiting for my signal. I set the towel and glass on the ground, and lifted my foot above it. "GO," I mouthed. She flushed, and I stomped, breaking the glass inside the towel. I waited with baited breath for a few moments to make sure James hadn't heard the muffled sound of the glass breaking, but I didn't hear him.

Exhaling in relief, I guided Lily out of the bathroom, before I picked up the towel carefully and set it on top of the bathroom counter. Opening it slowly, I felt like I'd just won the lottery. It was mostly in small pieces, but there was one very large shard with a pointed edge. _Yes._ Setting the piece aside, I folded the towel back over the glass, and placed it beneath the sink, behind the toilet paper and toothpaste.

Carrying the shard between my fingertips, I set it on the bed next to Lily. "Don't touch that," I whispered sternly. Sitting beside Lily on the bed, I began studying my would-be weapon. _I need a handle of some kind._ Racking my brain, I remembered the first aid kit in the bathroom. Grabbing it out of the medicine cabinet, I opened it up on the mattress. _Tongue depressors. Perfect._ Using the medical tape, I fused the glass to several of the tongue depressors. Walking over to the dresser, I picked up a couple of pairs of socks. I needed to work quickly, as I felt the medicinal haze settling into my brain, creeping like a fog. Wrapping a sock around the joint where the glass met the wood to protect my hands when wielding it, I blinked my eyes as my vision started to blur. Shaking my head, I admired my knife. _I feel like I should get a patch for my Girl Scout sash._

I held it up to show Lily, who was staring at it with wide eyes.

"Is that to get him?"

I nodded solemnly. "I'm going to hide it for now inside these socks, and I'll stick it in the back of my drawer. As soon as we get enough food, we'll get out of here. We could leave today, but I can't know how long he'll be out of our way for. We have to make the fastest getaway possible, because he still has that gun somewhere. You'll be patient for me, right, Lily?"

"Yes, Bella. I can't wait. I wish we could leave today."

"Me, too, sweetie. Soon. Very soon," I promised.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"You remember when we talked about my perfect day? What would be your perfect day?" she asked sweetly.

Confused and tired, I mumbled, "I loved your perfect day, Lily. It sounds great."

"No. What would you pick if you had the whole day for yourself?"

"Well, my perfect day would have to have you in it. So my perfect day for you and me would start with sleeping in, and then I want breakfast in bed. And I don't want to have to cook it that day."

"I could cook it for you."

I kissed her head. "You could, but I want you to sleep in with me. And I think I would want chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, and bacon. Does that sound good to you?"

She nodded her head against my shoulder.

"So we'll have breakfast in bed, and then I think I'd really like to spend the day outside." I hadn't been outside in _forever._

"Where outside?"

"Do you have a favorite playground?"

She lifted her head from my shoulder, eyes alight. "Yes! I forgot about it! It's over by my Nana Esme's house and she used to take me there every day. You'll love it Bella, there's a slide, and swings, and monkey bars, but you have to help me, and a jungle gym, but you have to climb with me, and a merry-go-round that's sooo much fun."

I grinned back at her. "Then that's where I want to go. And I want us to spend the day there, and have a picnic lunch there. After we're tired of playing, we could go back home…"

"Where's home?"

"Lily! Home is Seattle with your daddy, and…"

"Bella. I know that. Where is your home? Will I come to your house? Or could you stay with me for the day?"

I relaxed, glad I misunderstood. "How about we have a sleepover the night before, so we're at your house for the day. There's not too much to do at my apartment…So after the park, we would go back to your Nana's house? And then we could spend the evening with your family and my family talking and maybe playing some games. What's your favorite game? I loved Candyland when I was little."

"I love Candyland, too!"

"Awesome! So we'll make sure we definitely play Candyland. And I want to listen to music while we talk and play games. I want for you to get to hear the grownup songs with actual music, and with people who can actually sing."

"Bella. You can sing good."

"Well." _Shit I did it again. _"Sorry. And thank you. But there are people that sound much better, I promise. So we would have a family game night and eat a big dinner altogether, and then have a family campout in the living room."

"What's a family campout? Do we have a tent?"

"Well, no, not a real tent. You take a bunch of chairs, and you drape sheets over them, and it makes a kind of fort, or tent, and then you lay sleeping bags underneath and you camp out. We could watch a movie altogether, and sleep together."

"Everybody? It will have to be a really big tent. Uncle Em is huge, even huger than my daddy. Like he's really big, like a bear."

"But you said he's really friendly right? So he's like a teddy bear."

"Yeah. It's funny, because Aunt Ali is his sister, but she's really tiny, like my Nana. But she beats him up when he touches her hair. It's really funny."

Laughing, I tried to picture the scene in my head. "That does sound funny." In spite of myself, I yawned.

"Okay. It's sleepytime for Bella."

I giggled. "Yes, Mommy…But wait, what about your writing?"

"We can do that tonight."

Too tired to argue, I complied. "Okay, Lily. Thanks."

I was awoken to James shaking my shoulders roughly, twisting my ribs painfully as he did so. Groaning, I ripped my shoulder from his grasp. "I'm awake, I'm awake."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Watch your mouth. Get up. It's time to make dinner."

Lily was already awake beside me, so I pushed her gently to slide off the bed, following after her. Still really groggy from the medication and nap, I just grabbed some pasta and sauce to make dinner with. James was standing outside the pantry, waiting to give me my medicine. I walked past him to draw his attention away from the pantry, paranoid he would be able to tell there was food missing. He trailed right behind me, and once I set the food on the counter, he jerked my arm around and held out two pink pills. I seriously wanted to cry, because I already felt so tired and out of it, and I didn't feel like I could take anymore.

"James, please. I feel sick, I don't think I can take anymore tonight."

He squeezed my cheeks, forcing my mouth open, and stuffed the pills into the back of my throat with his disgusting fingers. I gagged with his hand in my mouth, but he pulled it out quickly and squeezed my mouth shut. Choking them down, my eyes burned with tears. Stepping closer, he whispered menacingly in my ear, "Since you feel so _sick, _you won't need to eat tonight."

_Goddamnit!_

I could do nothing but nod, as a few tears escaped my ears. Slapping them away, I turned away from him to begin cooking. Lily stood there, unsure of what to do, so I clucked her chin and gave her a watery smile. I gave her the blink, and she brightened slightly, returning it. After I had started the water, I began heating the sauce. As I stood there staring at the water waiting for it to boil, it hit me. Boiling water! To throw it on him, and then attack with my 'knife', would surely be enough to incapacitate him long enough for us to make our way into the woods, or if we were really lucky, his van. Even after him having siphoned the tank, there had to be enough to at least get a head start.

Should we leave early in the day, or wait until we could use the cover of darkness? We were more likely to find help in the daytime, but if he gave chase, we might need to hide. We could be anywhere, but I knew there was highway somewhere. We never stopped, so we couldn't have crossed the border. We had to still be in the U.S. at least. _Ouch. Shit._

I smiled down at Lily, rubbing the sting of her pinch from my leg. Giving her a blink, I took the pasta and drained it, then tossed it with the sauce. I served them, and then got to work cleaning up the kitchen to distract myself from the gnawing feeling in my stomach. James ate quickly, and I was disappointed to see Lily wasn't finished yet. Knowing it was a bad idea even before I opened my mouth, I still had to try.

"James, Lily isn't finished eating yet. Can she keep eating while I get her bath ready?"

Lily dropped her fork, looking up at me with fearful eyes, while James just started shaking, saying something under his breath that I couldn't understand. _I didn't think it would be this bad. What is going on?_

"What did you call her?" he seethed.

_Oh sweet baby Jesus, tell me I didn't._

Another glance at Lily's horrified face, and I knew.

_Fuck a duck, I totally did._

"_Abigail_, go to your room. Now," he ordered quietly, never breaking his gaze from me.

Lily hesitated, jerking her head back and forth between him and me.

"NOW!"

She jumped out of her chair and ran to our room, slamming the door behind her. I stood, staring at him frozen, until he rose to come towards me. Unthinkingly, I backed away as he neared me, which only served to infuriate him more. Before I could blink, he wound back and slammed his fist into my face. I cried out, falling to the floor, tasting the blood in my mouth. Fisting his hand in my hair, he began dragging me back down the hallway to his room. Once I was inside, he dropped me, turning back to close his door and lock it. I remained on the floor, unsure of what his next move would be. Whatever it was, I was sure it would be painful for me.

He turned from the door slowly, glaring at me with an unfathomable hatred.

"Why the fuck did you call her that?"

_Think, think, think…_

"Um…She…She reminds me of a little girl I knew once. Her name was Lily, and I guess I just got confused. All this medicine is making feel really funny today. I'm really, really sorry."

"Shut up!" he shouted, lunging at me. He knocked us both back onto his bed, him landing painfully on top of me and my sore ribs.

With his hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing hard enough to leave me gasping for air, he began ranting at me. "Her name is fucking Abigail! Not Lily! It's her! I know it is! You tried to take her from me, but I found her! She's mine! Fucking mine! And I think it's time to remind you who you answer to."

His chokehold loosened slightly as he began to take off his jeans, and started rubbing his hand in between my legs. I couldn't see him down there, I didn't know if he was hard or not, and I couldn't help it. I started to beg. "Please! Please stop! Don't do this. Please! I'm sorry! I'll never do it again, just please," I sobbed.

"Shut up! I'll do whatever the fuck I want! Tell me what you did to me! Why won't I work? I fucking hate you!" he shouted in my face, slapping me again.

Frustrated, he pushed off of me, with a punch to my stomach. It knocked the wind out of me, and I struggled to catch my breath now that my throat was free. His chest was heaving from the exertion, and he reached for me, picking me up by my shirt, fisting the material in his hands and ripping it down the middle. He groped my breasts roughly, but I twisted away and threw my body down onto the floor. I would rather be kicked than hurt that way.

He didn't disappoint.

Not for the first time, I actually found myself thankful for the medication. I felt his boots smash into me over and over again, hitting my ribs, my stomach. He stomped on my back a few times, and even got me in the head once. I thought he was done, until I felt a crushing weight snap my ankle. He pushed more of his weight down on his foot, causing me to scream out profanities. Rolling me over, he laid down on top of me, causing a sharper pain in my ribcage. I was pretty sure at least one was cracked at this point. He studied my face as if memorizing it.

"This is how I like you. Broken beyond repair. We're done here for tonight."

With that he jumped off of me, pulling me to my feet. I tried to put weight on my foot, but I couldn't. At least I thought I couldn't, until he dragged me by the arm down the hallway in double time. He threw open the door and tossed me inside, shutting it without even acknowledging the sobbing Lily on the floor clutching a doll.

Landing on the floor with a thud, Lily ran over to me as soon as the locks clicked. I struggled to raise myself up, but I felt so weak. Every inch of my body hurt.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm so sorry," she cried.

"Lily, you don't have anything-"

"NO! Don't call me that! I'll be Abby, I don't care! When I'm Lily you're in trouble, and…and…." she broke off.

"No, Lily. I'm in trouble when he's crazy. You are LILY. Please don't blame yourself. Please," I pled.

"Bella. Let me help you," she sobbed.

"Sweetie. No. Just give me a minute. I need a minute, okay," I begged.

I heard her footsteps run away from me, and I worried I had upset her, but I couldn't do anything about it. Breathing even hurt. I heard some slamming around in the bathroom, and then her footsteps coming back towards me.

"Bella. Can you roll over? Just try. I'll help you."

I tried to turn, but it took Lily's strength shoving me over, as gracefully as a four year old could, to get me on my back. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, but I couldn't make my arms move to wipe them. Sobbing over me, Lily wiped my mouth with a wet cloth gently to clean away the blood. Even with the numbness the medication brought, the pain was still overwhelming. My ankle was throbbing, I was positive it was broken.

"Lily. Lily, can you help me raise up my ankle? I need to get my shoe off and wrap it."

"Which one? Which one?" she cried, frantic.

"My left, sweetie. It's okay. This one right here."

She pulled off my shoe, and I whimpered at the contact. "I'm sorry, Bella." I heard her gasp at the sight of it once my sock was peeled off. "Oh my gosh! It's bent weird and it's turning colors. It looks really puffy. Does is hurt really bad?"

"Yes, sweetie, it really does. Can you help me? Take a pillow off the bed and place it underneath it gently. I think I'm going to stay here tonight."

"Bella, you can't sleep on the floor. I'll help you onto the bed."

I closed my eyes, with a sad smile playing on my lips. "Lily, you're big, but I don't think you're that big. I don't think you could help me up there. I really can't."

"Bella, if you won't sleep on the bed, then I won't either," she demanded obstinately.

"Lily. Please. Don't be so stubborn." _Now I know what my parents felt like raising me. _"It's still really early, yet, anyway. Do you want to take a bath? Or skip it for today? I don't think we're going to be able to leave for a few days until I can get a little bit better."

"I'll help you get better. And I'll get some food for us until you can again."

"No!" I shouted. Sorry for startling her, I tried again. "No, Lily. I won't let you risk that. I just need a couple of days to let the swelling in my ankle go down, and gain some strength back, and we'll leave. No matter how little food we have. Just please don't. Don't. For me, I'm asking you not to. I couldn't stand it if he hurt you. He's not right in the head."_ Massive fucking understatement._ "He's completely unpredictable, and I don't know what he'd do. For all you know, he could just hurt me some more. You don't want him to do that, do you?" _And let the guilt overcome me._

Sniffling, she replied. "No. I don't want him to do that. I won't, Bella." She held out her pinky, and with great effort, I hooked mine in hers, which she then kissed.

"I love you, Lily."

"I love you too, Bella. If I had a mommy, I would want her to be you."

_God, when I thought I couldn't cry anymore than I am right now…_

I didn't know what to say to that, so I chose to deflect. "I have an idea. Let's get into the bed and then we'll tend to my ankle, and then I'm going to teach you how to be an author."

"What's an Arthur?" she asked, puzzled.

"No, an author. A writer, like me. Help me up, and we'll get started. You're going to love it."

With great difficulty, we managed to pull me into a sitting position, pausing to let me wheeze. My ribs hurt almost as much as my fucking ankle. After a moment, Lily pulled me up as best she could, where I proceeded to fall onto the bed, groaning. She helped lift my legs onto the bed, and I rolled over onto my back, hissing at the pain in my ribs.

"Okay, sweetie. Can you put a pillow underneath my foot?"

She nodded furiously, wiping away her tears. "Like that, Bella?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat caused by her movements. "Yes, sweetie. That's perfect."

"Why did he hurt you so bad?"

I closed my eyes, reliving what had happened only moments before. He was growing increasingly irritable by the day. Would he ever take his frustrations out on her? If he couldn't assault me the way he so clearly wanted to, would he go after her? I might not be able to move around at all tomorrow. If I was stuck in bed, and she was alone out there, with him…

_Decision made. Let's hope it's the right call._

"I'll talk to you about it while you wrap my ankle, okay, sweetie? I need to support it. Use those ace bandages from the medicine kit, okay?"

She hopped off the bed and ran into the bathroom, grabbing what she needed quickly, then scampering back to me, eager to help. _She is so sweet._ As she began to work on my foot, she looked up at me expectantly, wanting answers.

_Filter is key. Must make bad Lifetime movie experience into PG acceptable material._

"Well, you know he was really angry at me for calling you by your real name. He was…_being mean_…to me, and I could never beat him with just my hands, and I don't know if his gun is in his room somewhere, so I couldn't really stop him. But then he tried…he tried…Lily has your daddy or your Nana or anybody in your family ever talked to you about bad touching?"

She shook her head, confused.

_Of course not. She's four. I hope her dad doesn't kill me for doing this._

"Well, you see these spots?" I motioned weakly with my hand toward my breasts and crotch. "Those are private spots, that nobody is supposed to touch, or make you touch on them. He tried to touch me there, and I tried to get away. That made him really mad, but I'd rather have him…_be mean_…to me, than let him touch me in a bad way. I need you to promise me, that you won't ever let anyone touch you in those spots. Not James, not a teacher, nobody can touch you there."

She didn't look like she completely understood, but she gave me her promise anyway. "I promise."

"Those spots I pointed at? It really hurts if you hit there. Then the eyes, and the nose. Do whatever you have to, to get away, alright?"

She nodded solemnly, as she finished wrapping up my foot with the two bandages from the kit. "It's still really early. How do I become an author?"

I grinned at her. "Easy. We're going to make a story."

"But I don't know how!"

"Just try with me. Once upon a time there was…now you fill in who the story is going to be about."

"Princess Lily and Princess Bella."

I laughed, unsurprised. "So Princess Lily and Princess Bella lived in the faraway kingdom of…"

"The ocean!" she exclaimed.

"Wait, so we're mermaids now?"

She shook her head innocently. "No, we can just live in the ocean."

_Fair enough._ "Okay, so we live in the ocean. And one day we went for a swim? And we found…"

"Bunnies!"

I started to laugh, but had to stop because it hurt. "Okay…bunnies. So we started chasing the bunnies to try and catch one so we could keep it for a pet, when-"

Bouncing in the bed, she cut in. "We started chasing the bunnies, but then they kept running away from us, so we chased them out of the ocean, and we found a castle. And then we were walking around the castle to look for it when we met Prince Edward!"

A little stunned, I just smiled at her. "And then what happened?"

"Prince Edward let us stay with him in the castle and he let us play with all his pet bunnies, and then you get married."

_Wait, what?_

"I'm sorry, what? Who gets married?"

She looked down at the covers, playing with a stray thread in her fingers. Ever so quietly, she mumbled. "You would get married. To Prince Edward. Because he would be my long lost daddy, and you would be my mommy if you married him."

"Lily…" I sighed, not knowing what to say. "I don't even know your daddy. And when we get home, you're going to get to go back to your life. Where you don't have to pretend to be Abby, and you don't have to pretend I'm your mommy."

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "But I like that part of pretending. I like having you for a mommy. And you love me, right? And you liked my daddy, right?"

"Lily, I don't even know your daddy. We barely said two words to each other when we met-"

"But you looked at him! And he looked at you! He never looks at girls! All he does is go to work and spend time with me. He's lonely. And I'm lonely sometimes. Because I want a mommy, too. All the kids I play with at Nana Esme's playground have mommies. I don't like being different."

"But being different is great! And there are all kinds of families, Lily. I've told you about mine before. And just because once we're out of here, and we don't have to pretend anymore, that doesn't mean I won't ever see you again. I want to see you after we get back to Seattle. I do love you, and I could never, would never stop being your friend."

Her lips formed the most ridiculous pout, and her chin started to quiver. With puppy dog eyes, she asked me, "But wouldn't you like to be my mommy?"

_Holy hell, that look should be illegal._

"Lily, come here." She moved to come lay beside me carefully, leaving some space between us to guard my ribs. "Lily, I'm sure once we get back, I'll be able to work something out with your dad and your family, so that we can still see each other regularly. But being your mommy, that isn't my choice to make."

She looked at me with those eyes again. "But if you could, you would want to?"

_I think I am being manipulated by a four year old._

I sighed, frustrated. "It's just not that simple, sweetie. Do you think we could try to go to sleep now? I know it's early, but I'm really, really tired."

"Could we maybe try the story again? I didn't mean to mess it up."

_Oh my god, kids are hard._

"You didn't mess anything up, Lily. It was your story and that's what happened." I was really, _really _fucking tired.

"I have a new idea. A different adventure for us to go on."

Sighing again, I couldn't say no. "Okay. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, lived…"

"Princess Lily and Princess Bella. And Princess Lily was the princess of pink, and Princess Bella was the princess of blue, and the whole kingdom was of colors, with rainbows."

"That's excellent, sweetie. And one day we…"

"We went for a walk in the woods, and we found a meadow of yellow bunnies."

"And did we play with them?" I asked.

"No, I turned them pink with my pink fairy dust, but you wanted them to be blue, so they had stripes."

"Did we keep one?"

"We kept all of them. And they lived in the castle with us forever and we lived happily ever after. The end."

"Congratulations, Lily. You just made your first story. Maybe we could write it in our notebook and take it with us so we can show your family."

"They would love that," she murmured sleepily. I imagined the stress from the day, and all our crying had probably worn her out.

"Let's sing our song, and then try to get some sleep. Okay?"

"Mmkay, Bella," she slurred.

I sang softly in her ear, trailing off to a hum once I heard her start to snore lightly. Poor Little Thing was all stuffed up from all that crying. I was _exhausted_, but I couldn't seem to sleep myself. The night's events kept playing in my mind on repeat. How could I have been so stupid? I couldn't believe I had slipped up like that. And how the fuck were we supposed to get out of here when I only had one good ankle? But we couldn't stay any longer. It would take weeks to heal, and we didn't have weeks. We had days until he lost control as far as I could tell.

_This is such a fucking mess._

I was so overwhelmed with all the guilt running through my veins. A million what-ifs ran through my head. If I had tried to run away from the store instead of getting in the van. If I had tried to overpower him before now, could we already be home? I told Lily that I would find some way to keep seeing her after we were home, but what if her family hated me for taking her? God, what if her dad charged me with kidnapping or something for not trying to get away? The thought of never seeing her again made the pain in my body seem like nothing compared to the pain in my chest. I wasn't frustrated at her for wanting me to be her mommy, I was frustrated with myself because I loved her like I imagined I would love my own daughter. But she wasn't mine, and what if I could never see her again?

"Um, I know you can't hear me, and I think at this point I might actually be crazy, but I need you to know how sorry I am. If I never get the chance to tell you that, I just want you to know how sorry I am for taking her, for letting him bring us to this place," I whispered softly into the darkness.

"I'm so sorry for everything she's had to witness and go through here. I don't know how we'll ever get over it, and I hope that I haven't ruined her somehow. You've done such a good job raising her, and she's such a good little person. I love her so much, and I never wanted for her to be hurt.

"I hope you don't completely hate me, because I need her to be in my life." Crying now _again_, I sobbed. "I promise I'm going to do everything I can to get her home to you. And even if you do hate me, as long as I know she's happy and safe, I won't even care. I just need to get her back to her life, so she can grow up without ever knowing this pain. I'm so, so sorry, Edward."

That last cry finally wore me out enough to allow the sleep to take me over. As I drifted off, I allowed myself to imagine an alternate reality where I was her mommy, and her dad didn't hate me, and Lily was safe and happy. However, that was for now, until we returned to real life and had to start the inevitable process of healing, where I may or may not be included in her life.

**Please review.**

**Fic Rec's**

**Love Amongst the Ruins by theladyingrey42**

**Show and Don't Tell by Brits23 (Check out her EPOV outtakes as well)**

**The Girl Under the Bed by Nostalgicmiss**


	12. Chapter 12 Day 21 August 6th Pt 1

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N: I'm continuously amazed by the love I get for this fic. Thanks to all who review, I love hearing your feedback, even if it's short. I appreciate all those out there rec'ing it on different forums, thank you. Big things are coming! This chapter is pretty angsty, but hopefully not annoyingly so. It was pretty difficult to write, so please drop me a line and let me know what you thought.**

**Stay tuned!**

**My poor friend EBT's computer died, so I'm posting this one unbeta'ed. She's the only reason my punctuation makes any sense, so please forgive any mistakes.**

Chapter 12: Day 21 August 6th, Part 1

EPOV

And surprisingly, I felt nothing. It was slightly vindicating to have her not portrayed as a victim, as I anticipated her to try to do, but rather as the abandoner that she was. But seeing her, seeing her for the first time in almost five years, I realized if I felt anything towards her at all, I felt pity. Pity that she had missed out on Lily's life and love and personality. And I was glad she wasn't in our lives. Lily was better off with no mother at all, then a viper like Tanya.

I tuned the rest of the program out, uninterested in anything else they had to add. After our segment was finished, I excused myself to go back up to my room.

That night, I fell asleep reading Bella's book, and for one all too brief night, my dreams of Bella and Lily did not morph into nightmares, but instead were of us, altogether, laughing and playing as a family.

* * *

_Three weeks_

They had been gone for three fucking weeks. Twenty-one motherfucking days. Five hundred and four hours. Thirty-thousand, two hundred and forty minutes. One million, eight hundred and fourteen thousand, four hundred seconds. In the first week, almost sixteen thousand phone calls on the hotline. Since then only fourteen thousand more had come in. That made around thirty thousand calls total, and just as many dead ends.

Sharon wanted to develop a fucking 'media plan' to help continue our exposure. It was a _six_ week fucking plan. That was how long we had until the lines would be shut down for the case. After that it was up to us to privately fund any resources we chose to use to continue our search. They didn't come out and say it, but basically they would be moving on to the next case. It took both Charlie and Emmett to calm me down when they told me _that _little piece of information.

I kept my phone with me constantly, always on the highest volume, waiting for a call to come through. Secretly, I was holding out hope that Lily might find a way to call from wherever she was.

The Dateline interview had launched a hailstorm down on Tanya apparently, and I really almost felt sorry for her. She had taken off for an extended vacation to escape the attention. She was not cast in the most positive light. I didn't give a shit about any of it. It was totally irrelevant to finding my little girl. Tanya had nothing to do with us.

Bella's ex Jacob also proved to be quite a nuisance as well. He actually had the gall to show up again, this time with his girlfriend in tow. The same fucking girl he cheated on Bella with. As soon as Charlie saw them, I thought he would explode. I had never seen someone turn that shade of red before. I almost felt pity for the girl Jacob was with, for how uncomfortable she seemed during the confrontation. But then I remembered she had been their wedding planner, and the tramp probably had it coming. Only Alice had been able to bring Charlie back down to earth.

My days dragged on and on, and my family began to worry for my sanity. However he managed it, my father somehow convinced my Chief of Medicine to bring me back on at the hospital. Since I wasn't exactly what one could call _stable_ I was left to handle administrative work and mindless gophering. I wasn't technically reinstated for my residency, but I wasn't climbing the walls at my parent's house anymore, and I think that was their objective.

I couldn't stand how life seemed to be carrying on in their absence, as if they were never here at all. They were just another story on the nightly news, in between segments on how to lower your heating bill, and where the best coffee in Seattle was. Charlie had been called back to Forks to fill in for a deputy whose wife recently gave birth, and as much as it killed him to leave the city, I thought it was good for him. Renee hadn't been joking about his blood pressure.

My mother had gone on a cleaning frenzy. She had scrubbed the entire house from top to bottom at least three times, rubbing her fingers raw trying to find something to fill her time, when her days used to be filled with Lily. My dad resumed making house calls for his elderly patients, and Alice, Rose, Jasper, and Emmett had long since returned to their daily jobs. They still came together each evening at my parents', but they each went home to their own houses at night.

I had not been able to bring myself to go home yet, nor had I entered Lily's room at my parents'. Tension ran high in the house, before they sent me off to the hospital. Now there just seemed to be a lingering sadness. No one really expected to hear any news when they came by each night. I could tell. There was an air of resignation festering in the house that made me nauseous.

I was on my way home from the hospital now, hating that this drive would lead me to my parent's, where Lily would not be waiting for me to pick her up. There would be no flash of bronze curls bouncing in the window by the front door. Food was tasteless to me. I ate on autopilot, to appease my worrying mother. Most of my days felt as though I were in a trance, responsive, but only on reflex. I was slowly turning into a zombie. My thoughts were interrupted by the phone.

Hitting the button on the dash to answer, I called out, "Hello?"

"_Edward! Come to the police station right away! It's Victoria! She's called!"_

_No fucking way. I don't know whether to thank her or kill her for taking so goddamn long._

"Dad! Are you fucking serious? Who called you?"

"_Your mother and I were already here to pick up some more fliers. I'll tell you more when you get here. Just get here!"_

"Five minutes." I hung up without another word, desperate, a man on a mission.

I busted a u-turn to make my way in the opposite direction to the police station. Luckily for me, I was closer to the station than home. Luckily for the other people on the road, there was little traffic and green lights all the way. Zooming into a space, I flew inside the precinct and down the hall. Once there, I was met by my entire family, crowded around Jonathan's desk, where he sat, hunched over with the phone close to his ear.

"Is that her?" I mouthed to Jasper.

He shook his head. "No, he's trying to return the call while they work on tracing it. When she called, she didn't stay on the phone long enough for them to locate it, so they're trying to call back to get a lock on it."

Jonathan's hand slapped down on the desk. "Bingo!" he mouthed, pointing his fingers at an officer I wasn't familiar with, who immediately began typing away on a laptop.

"Miss? Is this Victoria? I know you tried to call us, ma'am. We're just trying to help you. We need your help to find two people that your ex-husband took. You're not in any trouble. You're not in any danger from us. We can protect you. I just need you to tell me where you are, so we can come to you."

There was silence for a moment, and Jonathan frowned, listening to the receiver. He shared a nod with the other officer, and resumed talking.

"You don't want to talk to me, but how about I talk to you? I need you to understand how important you are for our case. We need to speak with you. Is Abigail with you? Is she alright? Can you let me know if you need any medical attention?"

After another beat, he sighed, and hung up. Turning back to the officer at the computer, "Please tell me you got it."

He nodded, printing out a map as he spoke. "Yes, sir. Sir, the call is coming from an address in Mount Vernon."

"Mount Vernon!" he exclaimed, rushing over and grabbing the map as he headed out of the room. "If we leave now, we can be there within an hour. I need a medical team to meet me at that address by the time I get there. Notify the local authorities to inform them we're coming. See if they can send someone over to make sure she doesn't bolt before we get there. We have no idea the state either one of them are in. Be prepared to have the child advocacy psych consult available, just in case."

"Wait!" I called. "Can we come?"

"No, Edward. You and your family will need to wait here or at your home until we've made contact. Call Charlie to inform him of this development. We'll get back to you as soon as we can." He turned away, running from the room for the parking lot.

We were left standing there, I with my heart pounding furiously in my chest. My mother grasped my shaking hands, as I tried to control my emotions. I felt like a live wire. Finally, there was something. Something to go on. I wished it could have been Lily and Bella, but I would take what I could get at this point. Hopefully, this Victoria would have information to help us. Surely she would be able to give us a good idea where he could be.

_Shit, Charlie._

Flipping open my phone, I hit number seven to speed dial him right away. He answered on the first ring. "_Chief Swan speaking."_

"Charlie. Hey, it's Edward. The police got a lead. Victoria called in to the station, and Jonathan's-"

"_I'll be there in two hours. Where did the call come in from?"_

"Mount Vernon. We should hear back from them within the hour."

"_Well, I'm driving as we speak. Reception from here to Seattle's pretty sketchy, but you'll be at the station, correct?"_

"Right. We'll be here. See you, Charlie. Er, drive safe." _Two hours is really quick time._

"_That's what the lights on top of the cruiser are for. See you, bye."_

He hung up immediately, and I turned back to my family. They all wore matching anxious, yet hopeful expressions, that I was sure mirrored my own. "He's on his way now. There's nothing to do but wait, I guess. God, somebody distract me. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin," I pled.

Ever the therapist, Jasper piped up. "Let's talk about what this could mean. If they are able to make contact with Victoria, and she's able to lead them to where James has Lily and Bella, we need to be prepared for anything."

Hesitantly, I nodded at him. "Go on."

"Well, obviously the first matter to deal with is their physical wellbeing. We've no way to know what state they'll be in. Three weeks is a long time to go without nourishment, we've got no idea what he's been doing with all that medication he stole, and he has a history of sexual abuse. Edward, you may need to prepare yourself to not being able to see Lily at first."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Even if she's confused, I'm still going to see her. There's nothing that will keep me away from her once she's back."

"Edward, what I'm talking about is the chance that your presence might be upsetting to her. You've got no way of knowing what she's been through or seen these last few weeks. She may be afraid of you," he explained.

"There will be other doctors and nurses around, Jasper. I don't understand how me being there is going to frighten her," I argued, irritated.

He rubbed his face down with both hands. "What if she can't be around males? Don't make me say why, Edward. Or have you given any thought to what he might have been telling her about you, specifically? If she tried to ask any questions about you, what he might have said? We already know he's calling her by another name. There's no way to know what he's said about you. She could be confused about who you really are, who she really is, she…Edward, she may believe that he is her father."

I opened my mouth to rip him a new asshole, but Alice was in his face before I had the chance. With her finger pointed right at him, he actually cowered back a little bit. "Jasper Whitlock! Stop automatically assuming the worst! This is not some unknown patient we're talking about. This is Lily! Your niece, whom you have known since birth. She is the smartest little girl I've ever known, and she would never believe that trash like _him_ could be her father.

"Besides, Bella would never let her. Or have you forgotten about the adult who is with her? You don't really think he could have brainwashed her, too, do you?"

A bit pale in the face, he tried to argue. "But, Ali, you don't even know Bella. You don't know her-"

Completely red now, she raised her voice. "I do know her! I know her through her stories, I know her through Charlie and Renee and even Phil. She's smart, and she's strong, and I hope she beats your ass when she gets back for you doubting her! And you'd better let her, because she and I are going to be best friends."

Calmer now, she continued. "As a matter of fact, I think you should probably think over how your apology is going to go, while you sleep on the couch tonight."

Completely contrite, albeit a bit petulant, he replied, "Yes, Alice. I was just trying to help."

Giving him a scathing look, she retorted, "Well, then help by being a member of this family, instead of an overanalyzing pessimistic asshole. Forget Bella, I bet Lily's going to kick your ass."

_I fucking love my sister._

Snorting, I held my hands up. "Ali, ease up on him a bit. Don't get me wrong, man, you're pissing me off royally, but I know you mean well. I actually have given plenty of thought as to whether or not Lily will be confused. Even if she is, she's my daughter, and I'll do whatever it takes to get her better again. But I have to believe that no matter what state she's in, she _will _get better. You know?"

He nodded, apologetic. "I do, man. I'm sorry. It's how I channel my own worry, does that make sense? The only way I can help is to step outside the box and look in through all sides. Otherwise, I just feel helpless."

I nodded back. "We all do, Jazz. We _are_. But hopefully Victoria will know something."

"Bitch better have a damn good story as to why she waited three fucking weeks to speak up, though," Rosalie snapped.

I totally agreed. "No shit. She's only an hour away, and we've been on the news every other night, along with a fucking national publication and night program. I didn't know there were any caves in Mount Vernon, but clearly that's where she's fucking been."

"Edward, Rosalie. You've no idea what she's gone through with that man. We already know she's got problems, too. Please don't be so unkind," my mother admonished.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Esme, c'mon. You can't tell me you're not the slightest bit pissed at this woman for not speaking up before now?"

My mom rolled her eyes back. "Well of course I am, dear, but I'll listen to the woman's explanation first before I pass judgment. Especially if she ultimately leads us to _them._"

My dad put his arm around her shoulders. "Of course. And I'd personally like to offer her any help we can to aid her in recovering herself. For the sake of her daughter, at least."

At the mention of the child, Rosalie softened. "Yeah, I do feel bad for that little girl. There's no telling what she's been through."

My phone ringing halted the conversation. "That's weird. It's Jonathan already. It's only been what? Fifteen minutes?" Flipping it open, I greeted him confused, "Hello?"

A heavy sigh came through the other end. "_We're on our way back. The call was a hoax. I'll explain when we get to the station. We'll be there in about twenty minutes._" I heard a click, and then silence.

All the air seemed to vacuum out around me as I stared at my phone stupidly.

My dad approached me cautiously. "Edward, son? What's going on?"

"It wasn't her," I whispered hoarsely. "It was a hoax. That's all he said. He said he'll explain…How could someone?...Who would do?..." I broke off into dry sobs, not realizing until that moment how much hope I was putting into this meeting.

I felt arms wrap around me, basically supporting me entirely, but didn't know who it was, or what they were saying. They were still surrounding me when the detectives arrived, looking really pissed off. Upon seeing me, Jonathan and Marcus' faces almost looked pained. They started apologizing to me, but I held my palms up to stop them.

"Just explain," I rasped.

With a resigned tone, Marcus began, "The local authorities arrived first, and located the source of the call. A couple of teenagers decided it would be a funny prank to call in a fake lead, but they weren't counting on us checking it out. Some sixteen-year old decided to put his girlfriend up to it, and the police on the scene called to alert us about the situation once they had ascertained that Victoria and Abigail were not on the premises.

"I'm sorry, Edward. We should have gotten the lead checked out before we called you and your family. I suppose we were just a little overzealous to finally have a lead. Or so we thought."

"What's being done about it? Are those kids going to be in any trouble?" I asked emotionlessly.

Detective Aro actually growled. "They'll be dealt with, but they're underage, so it won't be much. Probably some community service and a fine. Punk kids."

I nodded blankly, drained completely. Sinking into a chair behind me, I rubbed my forehead roughly, feeling a massive headache coming on.

"Those little brats! I would take them over my knee if I got my hands on them!" my mother cried out.

I looked up, surprised. Esme had never spanked or struck anyone before in her life.

"Alright, Mom!" boomed Emmett, laughing.

She blushed in response, with a determined look on her face. "Well, honestly. Their parents ought to watch them better. It's disgusting that they would find that sort of behavior funny. I've got a half a mind to call them myself, but I doubt the detectives would allow that."

Jonathan tried to contain his smile. "No, Esme, I'm sorry. We can't allow that. But remind _me_ to never piss you off."

She nodded to him in acknowledgment. "I do happen to be quite scrappy."

My father stood behind her, with his hands on her shoulders. With his eyes wide, he nodded exaggeratedly. Everyone around them broke into small chuckles, and I finally felt able to take a breath. I was so lucky to have my family. Otherwise, I would have lost the weak hold on my sanity long ago.

Sighing, I asked, "So, what now?"

Just as I spoke, a man walked into the station. He was tall, and I couldn't determine his nationality from his skin tone, but his waist-long dreadlocks gave him away instantly. Laurent Eamon, Victoria's half-brother. He was looking around nervously, and his eyes narrowed in on me when he spotted me. Approaching slowly, he held his hands up in surrender.

"I am Laurent," he announced in a French-Canadian accent. "I am here to help."

We all stood there, staring at him in shock for a moment. Marcus recovered first. Clearing his throat, he gestured to the chair next to his desk. "Please sit down. Thank you for coming."

"Took you long enough," Emmett growled.

Marcus gave him a withering stare. "Emmett, if you can't let us talk to him and do our job, I'll have to ask you to leave."

Laurent waved him off. "No, no, no. He is correct. I should have come forth before now. I apologize. I feared for my safety, but I can stand by no longer."

Jonathan looked at him quizzically. "You were afraid of being arrested? We could have worked something out for you."

Laurent laughed bitterly. "Jail is safe compared to James. No, I was afraid of him finding me, and causing me harm. He has done so many times before."

"But he hasn't contacted you? Do you have any idea where he is? Are you aware of Victoria and Abigail's whereabouts?"

Taking a breath, he answered. "No, he has not contacted me for some time. The last time I saw him was about six months ago. I am sure you are aware of my dealings. I was Victoria's supplier, and she asked me for an extraordinarily large amount of product."

"What product?" Marcus questioned.

"Her preferred painkiller. Oxycontin."

Marcus and Jonathan exchanged a weighty look. "Go on."

He nodded. "I saw her six months ago, at their home in Sequim. She was begging me to take herself and Abigail with me, but at the time, I did not have the resources to support them both. He came home while we were talking and overheard us. He attacked me, and we fought. I left, barely alive, and have not seen her since."

"Fuck, that idiot's nuts," Emmett said.

Laurent's eyes shot to him, ablaze. "Do not underestimate him. When enraged, he is crazed, yes, but he is unnaturally controlled otherwise. He is not just some simple lunatic. He is remarkably intelligent and skilled. Victoria told me he was working on construction of a home for them, that he wanted to build a place completely self-sufficient. Over the years he learned how to put together all the necessary skills to do so. That was why she wanted to get away from him. She feared if he moved them away, they would never be free of him."

"Do you know where it's located?" Jonathan asked.

"Not exactly, no. But Victoria told me that it was past Port Angeles, deep in a wooded area. She was not always lucid, because of the drugs, so she couldn't be sure of it exactly."

"So you've never been there?" I asked, disappointed.

He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, no. I do not know if what I have told you will help at all, but I had to try. Upon hearing of the kidnapping of the woman and child, I began to worry for my sister and niece. I do not know where they could be, for I am sure if she had gotten away, she would have found me somehow. We are each other's only family. Our mother, whom we share, passed many years ago, and she never knew her father. Mine abandoned me when I was younger."

Rose cut in, "How could you support your own sister's habit? Weren't you worried for her daughter at all? Didn't you ever think she would be able-"

"Do not speak of what you cannot understand," he interrupted, angry. "I did what I had to do to make money. After her accident at the construction site, which I believe James caused, she became addicted. I didn't enjoy seeing my sister in such a state, but James encouraged it.

"And you never saw what he could do to her when he was angry. He would track her misdeeds during the day, and make her pay for them each night. Being addicted to the pills made her body dependent, yes, but she would have gone insane without the relief. And regardless of what you may think of her addiction, she cared for Abigail a great deal. I didn't only bring her pain medication when I saw her. It was the only way to get birth control to her without James' knowledge. Abigail's conception was not her choice.

"James is a manipulator. He didn't start beating her until she was already pregnant, with no job, and no skills to work. She wanted to leave him for years, but was afraid of what might happen to her daughter if something happened to her. As time went on, she felt it was too late, and that she was stuck. The one time she tried to call the police for help, he threatened to rape and kill them both.

"I had been working towards trying to put some money together to support them, but it took time. I knew James would come after her, so I had to make things untraceable. That is why you have not seen me before now, as I am sure you have been looking for me. I tried returning to their house in Sequim two months ago, but didn't find a trace of them. That was when I feared it might be too late.

"Once I saw the news programs, I couldn't stop thinking about it. As I said, I am very worried for my family, but it may be too late for them. If so, I hope it is not for yours."

After a moment's pause, he said nothing more, and Marcus looked up from the notes he'd been taking of the conversation. "Do you know of any friends or family that might be harboring James?"

He scoffed. "James has none of those. The only person he has ever shown kindness towards is his daughter, but even she proved to not be immune to his threats. He has always been a drifter, a nomad of sorts, moving from place to place picking up new skills, and leeching resources from those he deems weaker than himself."

"Were you familiar of any acquaintances he had in Kent? Does the name Alistair Carson sound familiar to you?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "No. I have told you. He had no friends that I knew of."

"Alistair Carson was the owner of the van he used to abduct Bella and Lily," Marcus explained.

Laurent shrugged. "Then I would guess that Alistair Carson is no longer alive. James doesn't leave loose ends."

"We weren't holding out much hope at this point," Marcus sighed.

"I suppose it is time now to place me under arrest?" Laurent inquired.

Marcus nodded, and stood to handcuff him, but Jonathan stopped him. "Wait. You said that James has no friends or family, and you are Victoria's only living relative, right?"

Laurent nodded slowly.

A dark smile crossed Jonathan's face. "Then I believe you are of more use to us out of jail, than in."

Laurent's eyes widened, panicked. "You will leave me out there in the streets for him to find? He will kill me if he sees me."

Jonathan shook his head. "We would never leave you unprotected. You would be under surveillance twenty-four hours a day, with a police patrol waiting right outside."

Confused, Laurent sputtered, "Outside of where? I have no home. I am a drifter like James…"

Marcus clapped his hands together, smiling and nodding now. "The home we're going to put you in of course. All we need for you to do is make sure the word on the street knows where you're at. You said that his house is somewhere beyond Port Angeles. That's the logical first stop for him if he needs supplies or anything else. If he hears you're there, he'll come find you, don't you think?"

Laurent closed his eyes, resigned. "Most likely, yes. I…"

Leaning forward, Marcus prodded. "Yes?"

"I did used to live in an older apartment there for a time. It is a dilapidated shithole, but I was well-known there as a dealer. I can give you the address."

Giving him a stern look, Marcus ordered, "You do understand that your cooperation could reunite you with your own family, not to mention the Cullens and Swans, don't you? If you felt safer in jail, then why didn't you come to us before now?"

Laurent looked up with pleading eyes. "Please, you must understand. Even for all my crimes, I would never stay in jail for long. If James thought I had helped you, he would never hesitate to kill me. He would kill me regardless, but he knows how to draw out pain. He takes great pleasure in it. You have never seen what he can do. He enjoys torture. It is his most favorite game."

"Oh my god," my mother whimpered behind me.

My head jerked in her direction, having forgotten that anyone else existed in this room except for the man in front of me. As I tried to absorb everything I had heard him say, I knew that I had never been more afraid for Lily and Bella than in that moment. To see this grown man's obvious fear of James terrified _me_.

My father grasped her shoulders tightly as she sank against him in sobs. Looking at Alice and Rose, they both had silent tears streaming down their faces. Emmett and Jazz looked much like I felt as they embraced their wives. Angry, helpless, afraid. But at least there was hope that felt tangible. For me, anyway. In spite of the shitty turn the day had taken with the hoax, which I was still really fucking pissed about, we had finally caught a break. We could use Laurent, and he could very well be our only link to James.

Marcus gave my family a sympathetic look, then turned back to Laurent. "You have to understand. The woods are dense in that area, running all the way to the ocean. Sending in a search party with an unknown radius from an unknown starting point would most likely prove to be completely fruitless, and waste valuable manpower. This is our best chance."

Picking up his tape recorder of the desk, Jonathan pressed stop. "We need to get a copy of this tape and your notes to Kate as well. She needs to hear it. It'll help in her profiling," he nodded to Marcus.

Marcus and Jonathan both stood, motioning for Laurent to follow suit. "If you'll come with us now, we can get started on setting this up as quickly as possible. We'll speak with the Port Angeles police department on the way while we get our precinct started on the necessary paperwork. They can sort through the hoops while we drive. With any luck, we should have you set up with your detail by tonight. Are you ready?"

He heaved a deep breath, but nodded. Addressing me, he spoke, "I am sorry for not coming forward sooner. I hope some good will come of this. Until I see you again." With that, he left with Jonathan and Marcus.

I turned to look to my family, all of us still reeling from this new development. Laurent's words echoed in my mind. "_He enjoys torture._" "_Even his daughter proved not to be immune._" "_Tracked her misdeeds and punished her each night._"

_What was he __**doing**__ to them?_

My mind envisioned a million different scenarios, each one worse than the last. Bella, bound and beaten each night. Lily, starving and crying. I pictured medieval torture chambers, whips, and James' evil leering face. "_Rape and kill them both._"

_Oh my god._

Remembering those words, they resounded through my head, and they were all I could take. I blindly reached for the nearest trash bin, and heaved what felt like my soul's entire contents from my body. Cool soft hands ran threw my hair, but they brought me no comfort. In that moment, it felt that nothing ever could. Not until I could see her again. Hold her in my own arms, and see with my own eyes that she was alright.

After what seemed an age, my dry heaves finally stopped, my stomach long since empty of everything it had ever eaten. Something damp was pressed against my forehead, and I registered my father's fingertips pressed against my pulse-point. Trying to regain control of myself, I shook him off, yanking on the neck of my t-shirt, which was stuck to my body from my cold sweats.

_I need to get out of here._

As the thought entered my mind, Charlie ran into the station, looking disheveled, yet hopeful. I had completely forgotten about him, and realized he had no idea about the way the day had gone. The look of pain on my face startled him, and he misunderstood it, because his own face crumpled, and he started shaking his head back and forth.

"No. No. She's okay. They're okay. You're wrong. No. No!"

Alice approached him slowly. "Charlie, stop. It's not what you think. The call was a hoax. It wasn't Victoria. Just some stupid teenagers."

"What?!" he roared, his face turning a dangerous shade of red. "I oughta…" he trailed off, shaking his head and muttering under his breath.

"Charlie," I croaked. "Laurent came in."

His eyes grew slightly hopeful again as he looked around the room for him. "And? Does he know anything? Where is he? Are they still questioning him? I want to observe. Why didn't he come forward before now? Son of a bitch sure took his time…"

I yawned, feeling the exhaustion of the day's events on my mind. "He was afraid. Not of arrest, of James. He gave them a general idea of where he might have taken them, but it's not good. He said that James had been working on building a house that was completely isolated, somewhere outside of Port Angeles, deep in the woods."

He frowned. "Port Angeles? Are they going to organize a search party of the woods there? I know the chief there, he and I could start putting together a team…"

Feeling that headache come back with a vengeance, I rubbed my forehead. "No, they're not making any kind of search party. They said it would be nearly impossible to scour the woods effectively, when they have no idea how far past Port Angeles the house is, if that's even for sure where they are."

Angry now, he shouted, "Well, we can't just sit here and do nothing!"

Utterly exhausted, I sighed. "We're not, Charlie. They're going to set Laurent up in Port Angeles at his old apartment. They're hoping James will come to find him. Either for help and supplies, or to kill him, maybe both, I don't know. They're going to survey him around the clock. But I don't know what else there is to do. I want to search for them, I do, and if you want to do it, we can, but where do we even start? Those forests are huge, Charlie."

Defeated, his shoulders sank. "I just can't stand knowing they could be so close by and do nothing. I could never forgive myself if we found them too late, after he…" his voice broke off, cracking with the strain of his words.

Hearing what he could not say, I felt my anger rise again. How could I sit back and do nothing? Even if we searched fruitlessly for months, it would be better to be actively doing something, then just sitting back and hoping James would find Laurent. I was sick of waiting and hoping. Waiting for Lily to call, for Victoria to materialize, sick of going through the motions of everyday living, when my reason for life was missing.

"Let's do it, Charlie. I can't sit by anymore. Let's look for them." I commanded in a strong voice, finally feeling like I had an outlet for my frustration.

His eyes lit up, as did Emmett's, Jasper's and my father's. My mother looked at us warily, probably worried about mountain lions. Rose was nodding her head approvingly, while Alice was looking at us all nervously, unsure.

"But what about what the detectives said?" she implored. "You could be searching forever and not find a trace. And what happens if they turn up while you're stuck deep in the woods? Aren't you worried about something happening to you while you look for them?" Turning to Jasper for support, she tried, "Jasper, talk to them."

"Sorry, baby. Therapist Jasper is on vacation until further notice. Uncle Jasper says we go find our girls and bring them home."

Charlie beamed at him, while Alice looked at him in surprise. Jazz smiled down at her lovingly.

"We're all in this together. This whole fucked up situation has brought our families together, and I can't stand feeling so helpless while our family is out there. Edward's determined, Ali, you can see that. I can't let him go alone."

Emmett smirked. "Besides, somebody's got to watch out for Eddie. Can't have his pretty ass stepping on puddles and shit." He clapped me on the shoulder hard, making me wince. "I'll keep the bears away, bro. When we leavin'?"

"You'll need to get some clothes together, but no more than a backpack's worth. Do you have any hiking equipment?" Charlie asked.

Dad clapped his hands, then pointed at Mom. "Ha! I told you! I told you it would be useful someday!"

She rolled her eyes, patting his hand. "Yes, dear. The hiking equipment you bought _eight_ years ago because it was on sale, that has sat unused and collecting dust in our basement ever since, was definitely, now that I think of it, an excellent purchase. Silly me." Huffing, she turned to Charlie. "Charlie, please tell me you at least know how to use it and pack it all up? Someone ought to have experience in this…expedition."

He smiled at her. "Unfortunately, I've had to do search parties for Bella before. The girl has no sense of direction. And I was born and raised in Forks, and with my best friend down on the Quileute reservation. I've been camping and fishing since I could walk. What all have you got?"

My dad lit up like a Christmas tree. "Everything! I've got these backpacks that attach sleeping bags to them, and tents, water bottles, walkie talkies, GPS navigators-"

"Wait, what GPS navigators? They didn't have those eight years ago! Carlisle Cullen, what else have you bought without my knowledge?" my mother glared at him, but her lip twitching gave away her mirth.

My father replied, looking sheepish. "Um…I _may_ have purchased a few extra add-ons over the years. But only when they were on sale! And see? Now they have a use!" He grinned at her like a kid waiting for his pat on the head.

So she did. "Oh, Carlisle. Well, there you go, Charlie. Anything we have is at your disposal. We can go to the house now if you like, or if you need to start calling your department to arrange them to meet you in Port Angeles, that's fine. We can meet you there."

Confused, he cocked his head at her. "We? Are you ladies coming along? It's going to be pretty rough…"

"Charlie, I like you, so I'm going to stop you there, while you're behind," Rose snapped, arching her eyebrow at him. "We are not about to sit back twiddling our thumbs while you boys go out there and get yourselves mauled by wild animals and lost. I'm in better shape than half the cops in this station, I'm sure I'll have no trouble keeping up. I can't speak for Esme or Alice, but I can't imagine they want to sit around here in Seattle waiting for word. This family sticks together."

Alice bounced up to him. "Well, I doubt me or Mom could hike to save our lives, so how about we set up a home base in Port Angeles? If anything happens, we can let you know right away, or just keep you updated while you're out there."

He grinned down at her. "I can start making calls while we go to your parent's. This is going to be a volunteer search, so I can't order my deputies away from their posts, but I know plenty of people that will be willing to come help."

"Do we need to call the detectives to let them know what we're planning?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Yeah, but they shouldn't be too surprised. Just last week I was talking to Marcus and he admitted he was actually surprised we _hadn't_ started a search for them yet. I was just waiting for a general area to work with, and he understood that completely. Let's head out, we can discuss more on the way."

We all agreed and stood, walking out to our cars, the air thick with the excitement bursting from all of us. By the time we had reached the house, Charlie had already spoken with the detectives, and gotten the go-ahead to form the search party. It was going to need to be kept secret from the media, to ensure that James didn't have a heads up that we were in the area, if that was where he was. We could have gathered more volunteers if we could make the search public, but no one wanted to take the chance of alerting him, and possibly frightening him into doing something crazy.

_Well, craz__**ier**__, seeing as the whole psychotic mistaken identity kidnapping at gunpoint was pretty fucking crazy unto itself._

My mother stood back and shook her head as my dad revealed his treasure trove of camping and hiking equipment. Charlie and Emmett wasted no time packing everything up. As I came downstairs with my backpack packed, I thought we were all set to go. But what I heard next from Charlie froze me in my tracks.

"Um, Alice? Do you still have any of those clothes you gathered from Bella's?"

She nodded questioningly at him. "Of course, Charlie. I would never throw away anything of hers without permission. I was just keeping them out of sight to help…encourage her to update."

He smiled at her adoringly. "Well, I'm going to need some of them to bring with us. My friends at La Push will be bringing their wolves down to help sniff them out. They're going to need to be able to track their scent." Noticing me frozen on the stairs, he dropped his smile. "Edward, you'll need to bring some of Lily's things as well."

I felt the blood rush from my face as I considered opening the door that hadn't been touched in three weeks. I hadn't even allowed my mother in their during her cleaning frenzy. She stepped forward, offering to help. "Edward, I can go get some things if you'd like…"

I held up my hand, halting her in her steps. "No. I will….Just here. Take my pack and put it in my car? I just need you to give me a minute…"

My family nodded in understanding. Charlie spoke, "You know where we're headed. We'll go ahead and head out. Just give us a call once you're on the road, unless you'd like someone to stick around here to wait for you…"

Briefly considering the very real possibility that I might not be able to drive safely after seeing her room, I decided ultimately this was something I needed to do alone. Shaking my head, I told him, "No. I'll be okay. I'd just like some privacy."

Jasper studied me appraisingly. "I'm going to have my cell on me. We'll start off slow. If you need us to turn around…"

I nodded quickly, gulping. "Yeah, I got it. I'll call you if I need you."

I hated the look of pity my mother gave me as she ran forward to hug me fiercely. If Charlie could recall Bella's entire life to us, I could walk into my baby's room to pick up some clothes, right? Patting her back gently, I pulled away, and headed back up the stairs, as I heard my family and Charlie leaving out the front door.

Stopping outside Lily's door, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. _This is just a room. These are only things. I need to do this to find her._ Repeating this mantra in my head, I opened the door slowly, and was assaulted by the smell of her lavender soap and Tinkerbell perfume. Breathing in heavily, I could almost see her jumping on her bed, trying on dresses in front of her wardrobe, drawing at her desk…_What's this?_

On her desk lay a crayon sketch of two stick figures, one tall, and one very short. It was us. She always drew us. We were holding hands, outside at the playground, with butterflies behind us on a sunny day. Picking it up with shaky fingers, I crushed it to my chest, staggering back to her bed, where I sat down amongst her teddy bear collection. Reaching over, I picked up Snuffles IV, the fourth duplicate of a polar bear she couldn't live without. Snuffles III stayed at our house, and I had a V and VI hiding in my closet for the inevitable day they got lost or ruined somehow. Snuffles I had died a horrific fate after a bad run in the washing machine, and Snuffles II disappeared on a grocery trip once.

Squeezing it tightly, I wondered if Lily missed him. Selfishly, I wondered if she missed me, as well. My chest hurt at the thought of _him _convincing her I was the bad guy somehow. I shook my head of the thought. _She knows how much I love her. She knows she is my whole world. _Feeling the tears burning in my eyes, I shut them as tight as I could, desperate to rein in my emotions. Rubbing my face dry of my tears, I stood and walked to her wardrobe, then thought better of it, and went to her hamper instead. Clothes that she had recently worn would carry her scent better, wouldn't they? I snatched it up, unsure of exactly how much of her clothing they might want, deciding to just bring them all. As I started to leave the room, I swiped Snuffles off the bed.

_I'm saving this to give to her as soon as I find her._

Flicking the light off, I shut the door behind me, filled with determination.

_Lily, Bella…I'm coming for you._

**Please review!**

**Fic rec's **

**Normally I just list what I'm reading or have read, but I feel this one needs an intro:**

**I don't know whether to slap myself for just now finding this fic, or congratulate myself for finding it two chapters away from completion, but I COULD NOT STOP READING IT! I may be the last person on the planet to find it, but you must must must read Bare by stella luna sky. It is the most imperfectly perfect Edward I have ever seen. Ever.**

**Tropic of Virgo by In..bathrobe**

**The Rain Season by elusive twilight- Edward. Kilt. Tattoos. I believe that's all that needs to be said.**


	13. Chapter 13 Day 21 Pt 2

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine. Copyright Isakassees February 2010.**

**A/N: A Monday update? The fuck you say? Yes, lovelies, here is BPOV for you. You folks broke 1200 reviews last chapter. Abso-fucking-lutely insane. Thank you so much. So there is now a banner for my story! Many thanks to ms_ambrosia for taking the time to make it and tutoring me in how to display it. Check it out on the forum over at Twilighted. Link is also on my profile, along with pics of my characters. Thanks to everyone for the reviews, alerts, and favorites. We are getting so close…**

**See A/N at the bottom of chapter. **

**Thanks to Eviekinz for helping me out with the chapter. Have you read her fic? The Long Way Home. Many chapters in, too few reviews. Fix that for her, will you?**

Chapter 13: Day 21 Part 2

BPOV

"Um, I know you can't hear me, and I think at this point I might actually be crazy, but I need you to know how sorry I am. If I never get the chance to tell you that, I just want you to know how sorry I am for taking her, for letting him bring us to this place," I whispered softly into the darkness.

"I'm so sorry for everything she's had to witness and go through here. I don't know how we'll ever get over it, and I hope that I haven't ruined her somehow. You've done such a good job raising her, and she's such a good little person. I love her so much, and I never wanted for her to be hurt.

"I hope you don't completely hate me, because I need her to be in my life." Crying now _again_, I sobbed. "I promise I'm going to do everything I can to get her home to you. And even if you do hate me, as long as I know she's happy and safe, I won't even care. I just need to get her back to her life, so she can grow up without ever knowing this pain. I'm so, so sorry, Edward."

That last cry finally wore me out enough to allow the sleep to take me over. As I drifted off, I allowed myself to imagine an alternate reality where I was her mommy, and her dad didn't hate me, and Lily was safe and happy. However, that was for now, until we returned to real life and had to start the inevitable process of healing, where I may or may not be included in her life.

* * *

_Oh my God, I'm so cold, I can't stop shaking, make it stop, please make it stop…_

"It's okay, Vicki. Just rest, baby, just rest. You're going to get better…"

*

_Everything hurts, it hurts to breathe, I can't move anything…_

"Vicki, Abby needs you, you've got to get better for her, baby…"

*

_Now I'm hot. Why is it so hot? It makes the pain worse. I just want the pain to stop._

"Here, open your mouth. You need your medicine. It will help you feel better, Vicki…"

_Vicki. Vicki. That name means something to me, but it doesn't sound right. Where am I? It's so hot. Like Phoenix. Am I in Phoenix? But I'm not Vicki, that's not right. What's that taste? I don't like that taste._

*

"Mommy? I want to help. I have some soup…"

_Mommy. I'm a mommy? Something's not right, I can't think beyond this pain. I know that voice, I love that voice…_

*

"Victoria, you've got to drink some water or something. You're burning up…"

_No, now I'm cold again. And I know that voice, too. I __**hate**__ that voice. _

I could feel cold water filling my mouth and spilling down my chin. It chilled me even more, and my eyelids fought their way open. They felt so heavy. Coughing and sputtering, I could make out the face of _him_. James. _James_, _grocery store, gun, van, cabin, locks, pain, so much pain_…The images flooded back into my mind as I blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the hazy image of _him._ I tried to turn my head towards the movement in the corner of my eye, but it was too heavy.

"Mommy?" a quiet voice whispered.

My eyes focused on that sweet voice, and her cute little face became clearer. Lily_._ _Lily, Abby, Abigail, Little Thing, Edward, Cullens, bedtime stories, Beatles, knife, food, escape_…Oh my God, how long had I been here? Where was here? Looking around the room where I lay, I realized I was on the couch in front of the fireplace, a crackling hearth within. Startled, I shot my hand out to grab onto Lily, weakly pulling her to my side.

The splintering pain my side made me gasp, bringing back memories of the past few days. _But how many days?_ I couldn't think straight. My eyes closed again, the days replaying behind my eyelids.

_Fighting James off of me. James beating me within an inch of my life. My ankle. Crying with Lily. Unable to move for days, not allowed to eat until I could walk. Finally able to hobble, only to find that I couldn't eat without getting violently ill. Burning when I peed, sharp cramps in my back, a fever…_

"Victoria, you need to stay awake. You've been asleep for almost three days, you've got to stay awake," James commanded.

My eyes flew open. _Three days?_ What had happened to Lily in those three days? My eyes flitted to her form, searching for any injuries or bruises. She took in my panicked stare and squeezed my hand for reassurance.

With a small smile, she whispered, "I've been trying to help you feel better, and Daddy's been reading to me, and letting me play in my room. I helped clean…" She trailed off, blinking hard at me, and then dropped her smile, awaiting my reaction.

I instantly knew she had been sneaking more food away, and I didn't know what to think about it. On one hand, I was horrified at the thought of her risking something like that. I was clearly so out of it, and there would have been no way for me to protect her if James had caught her. On the other hand, I was extremely proud of her to have taken it upon herself to not lose hope and continue on with our plan of escape. I blinked back at her, and she grinned in return.

I glanced back at James, but he was oblivious to the whole exchange. He was instead eyeing my body, a weary expression on his face.

"I think I know what we need to do to help you get better, Vicki. There's obviously some sort of infection in your body making you sick. I remember what my foster dad used to do to help me when I was sick. I'll be back in just a moment. Abby, make sure your mom stays awake." He stood, then strode from the room quickly, leaving us alone.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I rasped frantically, my voice hoarse from lack of use.

"No, no! He didn't hurt me!" she whispered while shaking her head furiously. "He just read to me like you would, had me clean a little bit, and the rest of the time I stayed in my room and played with my toys. I've been trying to help you drink water when you wake up, and lift your head up when he gives you your medicine so you won't chokeded. Are you mad at me for helping?"

I cocked my head at her. "Why would I be mad at you, sweetie? Thank you for helping me. I was just worried something could have happened to you while I was sleeping."

"No, I mean for _helping_." She blinked at me exaggeratedly, and it finally clicked.

"Oh. _Helping_. I don't know how I feel about that, sweetie. You know you broke your pinky promise, right?"

She looked down at our intertwined hands, and twisted them nervously. "Well, I asked you, and you said it was okay."

Confused, I stuttered. "W-what? When did I say _that_?"

"Well, you weren't all the way awake, but…" She looked up at me with pleading eyes. "But I just wanted to help, and you were so sick, and…you need my…_real daddy_," she whispered. "He could fix you."

Looking at her, I felt my eyes burning, but I was too dehydrated to cry. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm not mad. I guess I'm just glad he didn't catch you, and you didn't get hurt. I could never forgive myself if that happened."

Our talk was interrupted by James coming back down the hallway, holding…_what the fuck is __**that**_? He walked back over to us, but I held Lily to my side, not wanting to let her out of my sight while I was conscious enough to keep her. Emptying his hands onto the table, my eyes widened in horror as I took in the sight before me.

_Needles. I fucking hate needles._

A rubber tourniquet, several large needles, and what I recognized to be vacuum tubes, from my many stays at the hospital, lay in front of me. Lots of vacuum tubes. More than what was safe to use in one session. _There's no __**fucking**__ way he is qualified to take blood from me. I don't remember seeing a phlebotomy lab in the laundry room. What the fuck is he thinking?_

"James? What are you doing?" I asked cautiously.

He looked at me determinedly. "I'm going to bleed your infection out of your body."

_Oh. My. Fuck._

He strapped the tourniquet tightly around my arm, making me wince. After a few moments, and no discernible change to my veins that _I_ could see, he thrust the needle straight into my arm, blood dripping down my arm onto my shirt. The smell of rust and salt hit my nostrils, making my stomach turn.

Everything went black.

*

Sometime later, I was woken to someone shaking me gently. I startled, jumping slightly, before I realized I was still on the couch in front of the fireplace. Lily was hovering over me, holding a glass of water. James stood behind her, holding…more medication. _Oh joy_. A burst of inspiration hit me, and I forced myself to scoot up the arm of the sofa a bit, until I was almost sitting upright. Holding out my hand for the medicine, I pretended to place them in my mouth, while slyly dropping them down my shirt. Reaching around my chest, while holding my hand to my mouth, I grabbed the water from Lily, and made a big show of gulping in front of him.

He checked my mouth like always, stomping away to the kitchen, taking the water to the sink. While his back was turned to me, I shook them out of the bottom of the shirt, and placed them in my jeans pocket. I couldn't help but notice how loose my pants were around me, and studying my body more closely, it hit me how much weight I had lost since being brought here.

While trying to sit up more, a wave of dizziness came over me. I looked down at my arm to see a horrible bruise had formed inside my elbow. There were several puncture marks along the crook, and a bruise covering half my forearm. _How much blood did he take?_ Lily ran her fingers over the bruise, her cool touch soothing the tenderness.

Glancing up at the clock on the mantel, I tried to focus on the time, blinking several times until I was able to see clearly. _Ah._ So that was the lunchtime dose. I knew I needed to eat, as I couldn't remember the last time I had actually eaten something and not thrown it up, but my stomach rolled at the thought. The sharp shooting pains in my back didn't help with my appetite, either.

Looking back at Lily, she was still caressing my arm softly. She had the saddest look on her face, well beyond what anyone her age should ever have. I studied the spot on my arm, and noticed how thin it had become. Experimentally, I attempted to move my ankle, and saw that while the swelling had gone down, it was very clearly broken. _And it's already started to set. That shit's going to need surgery. Goddamnit. _

Sick or not, we couldn't sit around and wait any longer. I was never going to get better here. If we stayed, I would eventually die from James' torture and treatments.

_It's time to get the fuck out of Dodge._

Resolving myself, I attempted to move my legs off the sofa. Lily looked at me, alarmed. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

I shushed her with a finger on her lips. "I need you to pretend like I'm feeling all better. Go along with anything I say, and if you're confused, just keep quiet, okay?" I whispered.

Confused, but agreeable, she nodded. I blinked at her, and a slow smile crept up her face. She blinked back, and attempted to help me move to a full sitting position on the couch. After a few grunts and groans, I was upright for the first time in who knew how long. My movement alerted James, and he came rushing back from the kitchen.

"What are you doing, Vicki? You need to lie back down!" he shouted.

I fought against the wooziness and headache to speak clearly to him. "James, you did it. I think you got the infection out of my blood. I feel so much better. Could I help you fix lunch before Abby's naptime?"

He looked me over thoroughly, before grinning cockily to himself. "Knew it would work. I've got lunch going already, but you can go back to your regular duties after naptime."

_Good God, did he just do something nice for me?_

He continued on sternly. "And don't let yourself be getting sick again. I won't tolerate that kind of weakness. You've been a burden for long enough. I've got better things to do than wait on you hand and foot."

_That's sounds more like the monster you are. I can't wait to fuck _**you**_ up for once. _

Nodding solemnly to him, I dropped my eyes in submission, silently wishing him the fuck away. After a moment, he walked back to the kitchen, and I looked to Lily and gave her a smile. Leaning on her more than I should, I pushed myself off the couch to a standing position, grasping her shoulders tightly to keep from falling over. After the black spots cleared from my vision, I breathed slowly several times to control the throbbing pain in my ankle. It was almost enough to distract me from the headache and side-splitting pain in my abdomen. I squared my shoulders, needing to adjust to the pain if I was going to go forward with my plan.

Limping into the kitchen, I sat down at my seat, waiting for James to finish cooking behind me. Lily sat down, practically bouncing with excitement. I furrowed my brow at her, silently warning her to calm down. She bit her lip, reminding me of myself. I nodded to her in thanks, as James threw two bowls of rice and vegetables down in front of us. He sat down next to me at the table, and I attempted to smile at him.

"Thank you, James," I mumbled quietly.

"Yeah, thanks, _Daddy_," Lily all but shouted.

I snorted into my bowl as he beamed at her, enjoying his ignorance of the situation. We ate quickly, and I regretted it as soon as we were finished. He had barely locked the door behind us as I dove for the bathroom, throwing all of it back up. _Damnit, I really need my strength._ A few moments passed, and I realized Lily was stroking my hair away from my face. I pulled myself up to the counter, and splashed some cool water on my face and brushed my teeth. Very slowly. I didn't want to make myself throw up again because I gagged on the toothpaste. We had shit to do.

Opening the cabinets quietly, I took out several rolls of toilet paper. I grabbed a plastic trash bag and threw them in, to protect them from any rain that might fall while we were out in the woods. _Who am I kidding? It rains almost everyday. The rain that _**will**_ fall._ I threw in the first aid kit for good measure, and then hobbled back out of the bathroom with Lily trailing behind my silently, watching my every move.

All but collapsing on top of the bed, I took a second to rest. I couldn't exhaust myself yet. Even without the midday dose, I was still groggy. Remembering the pills in my pocket, I pondered what to do with them. Should I save them in case I needed them while we were out in the woods? Or grind them up and use them on James? Part of me feared having to go out into the wild with no pain relief, but I needed to be lucid out there with Lily. Another part of me recognized that I didn't know the first thing about using them on James, and if they would have an effect on him, if any. For all I knew, he took them regularly himself. And if he tasted them, he might be suspicious, and I might lose the element of surprise.

I decided I would save them for now. Lily was just staring at me as I lost myself in thought. I smiled at her. "Lily," I whispered. "Can you very, very quietly go get the food out of the closet? Put it here on the floor on this side of the bed, in case he opens the door, he won't be able to see it."

She flew to the closet excitedly, gathering the cans up, one by one. As she collected them, I pulled the bedspread off, as well as the sheet underneath it. I placed the comforter back down, satisfied the missing sheet couldn't be noticed. Once I had all the cans, I placed them in the center of the sheet, tying the corners together. That would hopefully be sturdier than a trash bag. I set it down on the floor next to the bed, and motioned for Lily to come back to me.

"Do me one more favor? Go over to the dresser and grab some panties and socks for both of us. And bring me a new shirt? This one feels really gross."

She wrinkled her cute little nose, but scurried over to fetch what I'd asked. I tossed the clothes into the trash bag, then slowly started to unbutton the shirt I was wearing. Hearing Lily's sniffles reminded me of why I should have changed in the bathroom. While it had been several days since James had last beat me, _that I could remember_, my body still bore bruises everywhere. Sickening shades of yellow and green littered my torso and arms, and I imagined my back as well. Slowly, I pulled the wife-beater over my head and gingerly placed my arms through and pulled it down my torso.

I nudged her chin up to bring her eyes to mine. "Hey. Don't be sad. We're getting out of here. He won't be able to hurt us ever again."

Leaning forward, I brushed her cheek with my lips. She threw her arms around my neck, making my eyes roll back in my head from the ache it caused in my muscles. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pushed her back gently.

"We need to talk about how this is going to work. Oh! I need you to get one more thing. Very, _very_ carefully, go get that glass. Don't take it out of the sock, just bring the whole thing over to me, okay?"

She ran over to the dresser, and pulled it out very carefully, walking back to me dramatically slow, with the sharp end pointed down at the floor. Smiling at her as she reached me, I took it out of her hands. I pulled the makeshift knife out of its sock cover, and looked it over closely. It was still intact, and I touched the edge lightly, testing to see how sharp it was. The point of it was sharp, but I worried the whole thing would break into pieces if I took a direct stab. The left side seemed to be slightly sharper than the right.

_Maybe a slashing movement?_

"How are we going to fight him, Bella?" Lily asked.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "_We_ are not going to do anything. _I _am going to fight him. _You_ are going to be in here, waiting with our bags."

"What?!" she cried indignantly. "No, Bella! I have to help you! I beat up my Uncle Emmett all the time. I can help."

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "No, Lily. That's not the same and you know it. Your Uncle Emmett would never hurt you back. He's the teddy bear, right? Well, James isn't. He's mean, and he's crazy, and there's no way I'm going to risk you like that. If you're out there when I try to fight him, you could accidentally get hurt, or he could grab you and do who knows what. Please, Lily. I'm begging you, please, _please_ do this for me. I won't be able to concentrate on fighting him if I have to worry about you too. Please?"

"But what if you need help? What if something happens to you? What will happen to me?" she whimpered.

Sighing heavily, I answered her as best I could. "Lily, I can't promise I won't get hurt fighting him. But I'm not losing. We're leaving here. Today. We can't stay here any longer. Now that my fever's broken, we've got to get out while we can. If I get any sicker, we may never be able to get away."

Setting aside the glass, I cradled her face in my hands. "I need you to promise me, no matter what you hear, you will stay in this room. Stay in this room until I come for you, and then be ready to run."

Tilting her face, she puzzled. "But how are you going to run? Your foot is hurted."

"I just will. It's going to hurt, but we're leaving, _Little Thing_. Do you promise me?" I questioned sternly.

She lifted her pinky up in front of me, and I took my hands off her face to lock fingers with her. We kissed each other's pinky at the same time, setting off her giggles. _My giggle monster._

"Alright," I started, "Here's the plan. I'm going to start dinner. I'm going to have my glass with me. When I give you our special blink, you're going to say you need to go potty, and go to our room. You will wait for me there, and you _will not_ come out until I get you, understand? Be ready and waiting with our bags on this side of the bed. Have we got a deal?"

She nodded. "Alright, for now, let's tuck these away in the closet, and wait for him, okay? It shouldn't be too much longer now." I bounced my right leg nervously, as my blood started pumping furiously in my ears. I could feel the adrenaline starting to push through my veins, surpassing the nausea in my stomach, the headache pounding behind my eyes, the aches and pains I felt _everywhere_. This was it.

She dragged the two bags over to the closet and hid them inside, skipping back over to me with a nervous expression on her face. She looked as jittery as I felt.

"Hey, come here. Lay your head on my lap." I set the glass inside my front pocket, with my shirt pulled down in front of it. Pulling back on the dirty shirt from earlier for now to hide the knife completely, I bent my leg up on the bed, keeping my ankle hanging off the side. She settled her head on top of my leg, and nuzzled in. Combing my fingers through her hair, I asked, "Do you want me to tell you a story? Or sing to you?"

"Sing to me? I want you to sing our song," she whispered.

_Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love._

_There's nothing you can do that can't be done._

_Nothing you can sing that can't be sung._

_Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game_

_It's easy._

_There's nothing you can make that can't be made._

_No one you can save that can't be saved._

_Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you_

_in time - It's easy._

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love._

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_There's nothing you can know that isn't known._

_Nothing you can see that isn't shown._

_Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be._

_It's easy._

She joined me on the last chorus, and I could hear the tears in her little voice.

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_All you need is love _

_All you need is love _

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

Our singing was stopped by the sound of keys jingling in the lock. We turned to see James open the door for us for the last time.

*

**A/N 2: Don't kill me for the cliffy! Before you start freaking out at the short length of this chapter, just know that EPOV Ch. 14 will be up by Thursday of this week. So we don't need to get the pitchforks out just yet. Please gift me with your thoughts on this chapter, reviews give me awesome motivation.**

**I have also posted the outtake of Alice and Charlie's conversation on my profile, due to the influx of new readers and reviewers. If you haven't gotten the chance to read that, check it out!  
**

**All you need is love lyrics and music Copyright owned by The Beatles.**


	14. Chapter 14 The Great Search

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N: Two chapters in one week! I'm like a machine! Thanks to all the reviewers and readers for your continued support. Note to self: Never promise update on specific day again. I will have the next one posted as soon as I can, but I won't promise a day. Apparently deadlines give me writer's block, which is why I only just finished this chapter this morning, and am posting it unbeta'ed in my haste to get it to you. So please no harsh criticisms on my horrid punctuation.**

**This chapter picks up immediately after the last one ended.**

Chapter 14: The Great Search

EPOV

Squeezing it tightly, I wondered if Lily missed him. Selfishly, I wondered if she missed me, as well. My chest hurt at the thought of _him _convincing her I was the bad guy somehow. I shook my head of the thought. _She knows how much I love her. She knows she is my whole world. _Feeling the tears burning in my eyes, I shut them as tight as I could, desperate to rein in my emotions. Rubbing my face dry of my tears, I stood and walked to her wardrobe, then thought better of it, and went to her hamper instead. Clothes that she had recently worn would carry her scent better, wouldn't they? I snatched it up, unsure of exactly how much of her clothing they might want, deciding to just bring them all. As I started to leave the room, I swiped Snuffles off the bed.

_I'm saving this to give to her as soon as I find her._

Flicking the light off, I shut the door behind me, filled with determination.

_Lily, Bella…I'm coming for you._

***********

By the time I was on the highway, it was already dark, but I made good time to Port Angeles, calling on the way to put Jasper and Mom's mind at ease. I was a bit surprised I was able to hold it together, but that probably had something to do with the fact that I was now a man on a mission. I had _purpose_.

Charlie decided on the Quality Inn because it was a couple of blocks over from the police station. Pulling into the parking lot, I checked my texts to see which room number I was looking for. _104._ We would be sleeping here tonight, and then starting out first thing in the morning. Parking next to Alice's Porsche, I stepped out quickly, grabbing my backpack from the backseat and walking up to the room. I could hear their voices from outside. Rapping loudly, I shuffled on my feet, feeling the day's strenuous toll catch up with my body.

The door flew open to reveal a clusterfuck of activity in the room. Rosalie, my dad, and brothers were huddled around a table, where Charlie was leaning over the maps spread across it, drawing lines and circling different areas. My mother was stuffing supplies into the packs, charging up the walking talkies and navigators, and Alice walked away from me to a dresser, setting up what looked like Charlie's police scanner.

"Um, hey guys," I started, unsure of where to begin.

Charlie looked up, startled, with a possessed look in his eye. Chief Swan was in his element. He waved me over hurriedly. "Great, Edward, you're here. We've just started coordinating our maps toge-" The shrill ringing of his phone interrupted him. He flipped it open and answered brusquely.

"Chief Swan here."

He listened intently for a moment, when a huge grin broke out across his face. "YES! Thank you Stan, I really appreciate you doing this for-"

As he spoke, I made my way inside the room, setting my backpack on the bed, and moving over to the maps to see what they had been doing.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'd do the same for you, but still, this is a big help-"

"Then great. 0500 hours tomorrow. Bye, Stan." He snapped his phone shut, still beaming from ear to ear.

"We've got a chopper," he began. "My friend Stan used to work on the force, and he's still got his license. We're convening at the Port Angeles Police Department tomorrow, and Edward, you and I will be going up with him to perform an aerial search. Carlisle, you and yours will be spread out on the ground with my Quileute friends." He looked back down to the maps in front of him, marking various start points.

"Aw, man, Charlie! I want to go up in the helicopter!" Emmett whined.

I rolled my eyes, as did Charlie. "Sorry, Emmett. We can only have two passengers in the chopper. We have to leave room for Bella and Lily when we find them." My eyes widened in surprise as he said this. He was putting a lot of faith in this search. I wanted to as well, but he sounded _so sure_. I envied him that.

"Edward's the clear choice, seeing as it's not only his daughter we're looking for, but he's also a doctor. If they need medical assistance, he's the man to do that."

"Fine," Emmett grunted, as Rose rolled her eyes and patted his hand.

"Alright, Carlisle. We'll need to get an early start tomorrow morning. The La Push pack should be here by around 0400, so I'll be helping the lot of you set up. Esme, have you finished packing?" Charlie asked.

"I…I think so, Charlie," she huffed as she struggled with the zipper on the last backpack.

"Would you like some help, dear?" my dad smirked.

She narrowed her eyes at him as she spoke. "Oh, yes, my big strong man. Please, come save me from the zipper."

He started to walk over to her when she finally got the zipper to give. She arched her brow at him, smirking at him. "Well, look at that, dear. It heard you coming and cowered in the face of your brute strength."

"Okay, okay. We need to get something in our stomachs, and then get some shut eye. We've got to rise early tomorrow, and it'll be a long day," Charlie laughed.

"Ooh! Right, food! It's probably ready, I ordered it when we were on the way. Jasper and I will go pick it up now," Alice chirped, as she bounced for the doorway. "Chinese is okay with everybody, right? I got all the favorites. It's just down the street, we'll be right back!" she called, dragging Jasper out behind her.

Charlie closed the door behind them, shaking his head in amusement at Alice's antics. "Here, Edward. Let me catch you up to speed."

He motioned me over to the table and I took a seat as Emmett moved aside to plop onto the bed. Charlie started pointing at the map in front of me. "You and I are going to be in the chopper with Stan. He's retired Search-and-Rescue, and he was one of the best I ever worked with. He's reviewing his grid patterns tonight so he'll be ready to take off straight into the air tomorrow morning. We'll be looking for any and all dwellings not registered as residences with the county. Obviously we'll also be looking for the girls, but the forests are pretty dense, and if it rains tomorrow like it's supposed to, we're looking at even lesser visibility. Do you have a medical kit with you, or should we contact the local EMS teams to see if we can borrow one?"

Scratching my neck roughly, I tried to absorb everything he was telling me. "Yeah, I've got my bag, it's in the car. It's pretty basic, though."

He nodded his head, thinking it over. "We should probably still see if we can get some equipment from an EMS. I'll go make a couple of calls now." He strode away from me, dialing away on his phone.

I was left to myself, and kicked my shoes off to try and get more comfortable. Today had been a really long day. I heard the TV click on, as Emmett started searching for a baseball game. Rose was sprawled out next to him on the bed, and I noticed for the first time there where only two beds in the room.

"So where's everybody sleeping?" I called out.

"We've got another room just like this one next door. Your brothers are taking that one, and you, your father and I will be in this one. Charlie booked himself a single the next room over," my mother smiled as she sat down at the table across from me.

"Alright," I nodded tiredly.

"Are you okay, Edward?" she asked softly.

I furrowed my brow at her, confused at her concern. "Huh?"

"I was worried to leave earlier…I was afraid it would be too hard for you…But your father insisted that I leave you be…" She trailed off, pursing her lips.

_Earlier…Lily's room._

Swallowing the lump in my throat at the very thought of her name, I answered. "No, Mom. I was fine. He was right, I just needed a minute. And I was okay, I got what we needed. I didn't know how I'd handle it either, but I did. Handle it, that is."

Her eyes lit up, shining. "You've been so strong through all this, Edward. I know I've told you this a thousand times, I've told your father, and anyone else who wants to listen, but…Seeing you grow up and the father you've become…it's more than I ever dreamed of. I'm so proud of the loving man you've grown up to be. And the beautiful little child _she _is…that's all due to you, Edward. You've raised her up with your love to make her that person, and…I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that. And I really, really love you, baby."

"She's right, son." My dad's hand clapped gently down on my shoulder, seemingly from out of nowhere. "God knows we'll brag on you and your accomplishments to anyone within hearing distance, but you should know that straight from us. We're happy you've grown up to be a gentleman, and I was pleased when you chose to follow in my footsteps as a doctor. But my _greatest_ pride in life has been to see the success you have become as a father. And what you've been dealing with these last few weeks…You've shown greater strength than anyone could ever have thought. More than I could ever have hoped to have."

My mother grasped my hands tightly as I fought back tears at my parents' heartfelt words. "Thank you," I rasped, choking down the tears in my throat. My chest swelled with the pride they held in me. I couldn't decide which opinion I appreciated more. I was a complete mama's boy, and her love and acceptance were something I could never and would never take for granted, but my _father_…He was who I had aspired after my whole life. He taught me everything…How to treat a woman, how to be a man, how to be a doctor, how to be a father…

"Alright, so the local hospital will be sending down some supplies along with some volunteers in the…I'm interrupting something, aren't I?" Charlie asked sheepishly.

I coughed quietly, focusing intently on the floor. "No, no, Charlie. You said the hospital is sending some volunteers, then? That's great!" I sniffled a bit, but tried to muffle the sound with my hand.

His face was a bit red, but he carried on. "Uh, right. I mean, yes, they are. Between Seattle PD, my police department, and the Port Angeles police department, we've got quite the crew forming. When you add in the La Push pack…"

"Charlie, sorry, but you keep saying pack, and I've got to ask…Are we talking dogs or people? Because I just can't tell from what you've said so far," I interrupted.

He snickered a bit. "Sorry. Actually it means both. My friends down on the reservation are coming to help, and they're bringing their dogs. I've used them in search-and-rescues before. The tribe is mythically supposed to be descended from the wolf, and they have an abundance of them on their lands. They've cross bred them over the years with German Shepherds to make a really powerful search animal. They're huge, but more domestic than wild or captive wolves, and the noses on those boys….If Bella and Lily are in the woods, those dogs'll find 'em."

"That's awesome, Charlie."

We were disrupted by the force of Alice entering the room, daintily carrying a couple of bags of Chinese food, followed by Jasper, her pack-mule. She turned off the TV with a flourish, earning her a yell from Emmett, as she set down all the food on top of the dresser. "Move those maps, Charlie, so we'll have more room to eat," she ordered.

He raised his eyebrows at her as he shook his head, smiling to himself. Moving aside all the maps carefully onto the other bed, he folded them up gingerly, to avoid smudging any of the markings.

"Alright!' she yelled. "Emmett, here's three orders of Kung Pao chicken with _fried_ rice, they tried to give me steamed and I made sure they changed it, Rose, here's your orange chicken. This is _mine_," she muttered, setting aside a container, "and this one's Jasper's…Mom, here's your cashew chicken, Dad, here's your sweet'n'sour pork, Edward, here's your Szechuan beef, and Charlie, here is _your_ combination fried rice with egg drop soup."

He took it from her with an incredulous look on his face. "Alice, how did you…"

She patted his cheek. "Charlie, I'm Alice. I know everything. Eat up, and then off to bed with you!" She shooed him away, and then turned back to her own container to dig in.

The room was silent except for everyone chewing, well in Emmett's case it was more like inhaling, and once we had all eaten more than we should have it was time for bed. As everyone filed out except for my parents, Charlie stopped at the door.

"Try and get some sleep, Edward. We're going to need to be running on all cylinders tomorrow."

I nodded to him, then shut the door behind him as he walked out. Turning back to my parents, I was really in no mood for anything at the moment except sleep. I smiled to them, and set my alarm for 3:30 the next morning, and fell asleep on top of the covers, clothes and all.

*

I jumped up at the sound of the alarm blaring the next morning, panting heavily as the remnants of my last dream filtered out of my mind. We had found them, but…I shuddered, refusing to recall it. Rubbing my eyes, I decided a shower was the best way to start this day. Now that I was more awake, a buzz of excitement was running through my body. I felt like a live wire.

Washing and dressing quickly, my parents were barely starting to stir as I made my way out of the room down to Charlie's. Not surprisingly, he was already awake, and ushered me in his room swiftly.

"I didn't think I'd have to worry about you oversleeping," he stated gruffly.

Laughing shakily, I muttered, "No. Not fucking likely."

"My friends from La Push should be here soon. We'll help them get coordinated, until it's time for us to go the station. I figure we'll head down about 4:45 to make sure we don't keep Stan waiting."

"Alright. What all needs to be done to get everybody on the ground set up?"

He stretched his arms above his head. "Well, they'll need to make sure all the walkie talkies are on the same frequency. They'll be using a buddy system, and each member of your family will be paired up with one of the more experienced searchers. Depending on how many dogs they bring, it could be one dog per pair, maybe less. They'll spread out across the area and search from daybreak to sundown. The police here on the ground will be taking charge of that search, while you and I are up in the air."

"And how long will we be up there?"

"Well, short of a hurricane, we should be able to search through any rain that falls today. After my calls last night, I was able to get a hold of a Med-vac chopper for Stan to use today. Those things can cover over 500 square miles without refueling. Be prepared to be up in the sky all day."

I nodded in acknowledgment.

"Do you have Lily's things? Billy just texted me. The Quileute are here."

"No, shit, they're in my room. I'll meet you in the parking lot in just a minute." I flew out of the room, back to my own, where my parents were almost finished getting ready.

"Hey. The Quileute are here. Start getting everything together, okay?" I grabbed my bags and flew back out, without waiting for a reply.

Striding out to the lot, I saw Charlie greeting a man in a wheelchair. He looked like a weathered version of Jake, so I assumed this was Billy. I walked over to introduce myself, but stopped short as I saw Jake get out of the front cab of a truck. I looked to Charlie to assess his reaction.

His jaw tightened, and he glared down at Billy, who held his hands up in surrender. "Charlie, I couldn't stop him. He's only here to help. I've already made him promise he's not to talk to Bella. At all. But you can't turn away an extra pair of feet on the ground. Besides, Leah's the best bitch of the pack, and only Jake can control her."

He shook his head in response, muttering something about, "bastards and bitches going together," but I wasn't sure, and he didn't look like he was going to argue. Billy did have a point.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen." I stuck my hand out to shake his, and he had a strong, warm grasp.

"Billy Black, tribe elder. We're glad to be helping you out today."

"Thank you." I nodded to him politely.

Turning back to Charlie, he spoke. "So, old man. The rest of the tribe is gathering over on Elwha Bluff, ready to make a perimeter of the forest from there down to Edgewood. I understand the police are meeting them there?"

Snapping out of his glare towards Jacob, he glanced back at Billy. "Yeah, that's right. Are you going to being staying here with the other Cullens to man the fort for us?"

Billy smirked. "Well, I'd be joining in on the hike, but I left my boots at home, and I'd hate to get these shoes dirty."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Always such a smart ass."

"You know it! Now where's the rest of this family?" He raised his eyebrow at me, and I shrugged, not really sure where my family was.

No sooner had the thought entered my head, when the door next to my room burst open, with Alice pushing out a very sleepy Emmett and Jasper. Rose followed behind looking like she was dressed for a Grizzly Adams Playboy shoot. Tight pants and flannel, with a knife strapped to the outside of her leg. She was strapping her pack around the front, and I noticed Jake's eyes were glued to her chest. I seethed. He would _not_ be her 'buddy' for the day. She was practically my sister.

_And seriously? Is this guy incapable of thinking with anything besides his dick?_

I wanted to say something to him, but Rose, as usual, beat me to it. "Hey! Eyes up _here_, Casanova!" She pointed both of her middle fingers towards her face, and everyone burst into laughter, except Charlie, who shook his head in disgust towards Jacob's actions.

Jake's head jerked up, and flushed deep crimson at being caught.

Billy wheeled over to him, and motioned for him to lean in. Jake rolled his eyes, but complied. Billy popped him in the back of the head and then rolled back over to us. He apologized, "Housebreaking is a tricky business, but we're working on it."

Charlie managed a smile at that, but then got down to business. "Alright, alright. It's time to head down there. We'll help you get set up as best we can, and then we've got to be back at the police station by 4:45."

Billy shook his head. "Charlie, that's pointless. Jake and the Cullens will go ahead and head over that way now, while I get settled into base here. By the time you make it out there, you'll just have to turn around and come right back."

"But I-"

"But you just want to make sure you get to micromanage everyone out of their flippin' mind. I'm pretty sure the cops and the tribe should be able to figure this out without you. Go, Charlie. You need to find that girl. I haven't had any lasagna in over a month, and I'm starting to get the shakes."

Charlie snorted, but nodded. "Alright, old man, you made your point. But I'm getting first dibs on the lasagna. She is _my _daughter after all."

"Charlie, we both know she's always loved me more. But I'll let you lie to yourself if it makes you feel better."

Charlie rolled his eyes as he reached into his bag, pulling out Bella's clothes. He started to hand them over to Jake, but stopped himself, instead turning to Jasper. Jake looked quite dejected at the snub. _Serves him fucking right._

I handed the bag of Lily's clothes over to my dad as he walked over with my mother, keeping my other backpack which held her Snuffles inside. _That's my secret._ Everyone started loading up into their cars as Alice bounced over and started pushing Billy towards the room with the scanner, chatting his ear off about Bella's books. He looked back at Charlie and me, but we just shrugged. _Get used to it._

Charlie looked to me as they pulled away. "Well, we might as well head down to the station. Get a cup of coffee in our systems before we take off. But don't drink too much. We won't be landing for bathroom breaks."

My eyes widened as I realized I would likely be peeing into a container while riding in a helicopter with two men for the day, but it was a small price to pay. We headed to my Volvo and climbed in, making our way down the street to the police station. It was _much_ smaller than the one in Seattle, but it seemed to fit right in with the rest of the town. As we pulled up, Charlie pointed to the top of the building. "The chopper should be all ready to go. We'll take off from there, and head west. Stan should be here soon enough."

Turning off my ignition, we both climbed out, heading inside. Looking up and down the street, I couldn't help but hear the _Andy Griffith_ theme song in my head. I chuckled to myself, which earned me a curious look from Charlie, but he didn't say anything. _Probably for the best._

We made our way back to a small kitchen area, I following behind Charlie as he seemed to know his way around. We grabbed a cup of coffee, and the bitter taste did more to wake me up than the caffeine ever could. Sitting at a small table in silence, my leg was bouncing with the anticipation of being up in the air. A few minutes later, a man about Charlie's age with salt and pepper hair walked in. Grinning when he saw us, I could only assume this was Stan.

"Charlie Swan! Good to see you!"

Charlie looked up and beamed at him in return. "Stan Fletcher! I was afraid I'd have to fly the thing into Forks myself to wake you up!"

Stan chortled deep in his rounded belly. "Ha! You couldn't even get that thing turned on, let alone fly it. Takes a man of supreme intellect, you know."

Charlie stood to shake his hand. "You need a cup of coffee before we get started out?"

Stan shook his head. "I had a cup on my way over. I'm just going to talk to the chief here, and make sure everything's clear for takeoff and go through all my checks. Meet me up in about ten minutes, alright? Sorry, by the way, I didn't introduce myself. Stan Fletcher, helicopter pilot extraordinaire. You must be Edward Cullen, yeah?" He stuck his hand out to meet mine with a firm shake.

"Pleased to meet you. Thank you for doing this for us."

He waved me off. "No need to thank. This is what I'm good at. Saves me from a day of honey-dos from the Missus. Alright. I'll see you two in a few."

He walked away down a hall, and Charlie and I were left to our silence once more.

"He's a good man."

I looked up to Charlie. "Uh, yeah. He seems like it."

"He's the best at what he does, or did. A couple of years back we had a search for a little girl lost in the woods outside Forks. Stan was the one to find her, but…He tried everything he could, but she didn't make it. He was never the same after that, and he retired that year. I know he wants to make it seem like this isn't a big deal, but…It is."

I sat back in my chair, thinking over Stan's story. I was more grateful to him than ever now, for his selflessness in helping us. My dream from last night popped into my head for a brief second, unwelcome, but I pushed it out as hard as I could. After a few more minutes spent in silence, it was time.

"Alright, let's head up."

I stood, setting my mug in the sink, then following him as he made his way upstairs to the roof. Stepping outside, I was assaulted by the loud roar of the engine and the wind whipping me in the face from the rotor blades. Ducking our heads down, we ran inside the chopper quickly, where we were each handed a headset. Pulling it over my head, I heard the crackle as it came to life, and Stan's voice rang clearly through.

"We're heading northwest towards the Lower Elwha reservation, and then we'll be sweeping south. I had my grid patterns all set up, but we've received word of a forest fire that's started towards the center of the woods. Depending on the wind direction, we'll be making our way upwind of it, trying to get a closer look to pinpoint the coordinates to alert the authorities. Keep your eyes open. Any questions?"

"No, we're all go, Stan," Charlie said.

I sat back with the medical equipment, familiarizing myself with everything available to me, as my head reeled. A forest fire? What if they were in those woods somewhere? I kept my eyes out towards the window, ready to find any trace of them.

The flight up to the Elwha reservation didn't take very long. The sun was still rising through the heavy clouds, casting a hopeful light across our horizon. As he rounded the chopper about, we could see the smoke billowing out from the trees in the distance.

"It seems to be blowing northeast. We're going to need to circle around it, and then fly back up to get a clear view of where it's originating from," Stan called.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, and we zoomed around the edge of the forest and made our way back up towards the smoke. As we neared the center of the smoke, Stan dictated what he could see.

"It's spreading through the trees, but it looks like it started there, in a bit of a clearing. There's some kind of debris smoldering still. I've got to call this in."

He switched the headsets over to communicate with the station, and proceeded to tell them of the coordinates and what he could see. Clicking back over to us, he shouted through the microphone, "We've got clearance to land on the river embankment just west of the forest here. We're going to set off on foot, towards the fire, while they send in the water choppers. The search team has been given the coordinates for the start of the fire, and are creating a half-circle perimeter, working their way into the forest. Edward, you'll need to bring whatever medical equipment you can carry. We need to be prepared."

I blinked at him for a good minute, before I snapped into action. Grabbing a duffel bag, I began to haphazardly throw in whatever would fit. _Epi-pens, shots of adrenaline, portable defibrillator, breathing tubes, first aid, water, burn ointment…what else? _ I continued stuffing the duffel with everything I could get my hands on, until we reached the embankment and Stan set us down.

Flipping all the little switches on his dashboard, the roar of the engines stopped, and I could tell the blades had started slowing down. Taking off his headset, I followed suit, as did Charlie. Just as we stepped out of the chopper, it started to rain heavily. We pulled our rain jackets on with our hoods up as we strapped our bags on.

Stan shouted over the sound of the thunder and river flowing behind us. "Alright, we stick together. Here's our GPS, with the coordinates from the debris locked in. We're heading about a quarter mile into the forest here. We'll be moving northeast, and the forest is really dense, so we've got to stay close together."

We headed off for the woods, my heart pounding in my chest. I kept telling myself to not get my hopes up, that it could just be a campfire out of control. But worse was the thought that somewhere in these woods, Bella and Lily could be stuck as a raging fire worked its way towards them. I focused intently on the ground to keep from tripping, trying to remain aware of the density of the trees around me.

A few hundred feet in, a voice started coming in over our walkie talkies.

"_Charlie, this is Billy, come in, over."_

"Billy, this is Charlie. I hear you. Over."

"_Charlie, they've just intercepted James on Edgewood Lane at the south end of the forest. He's being taken to the hospital now. Do you copy? Over."_

Charlie gaped at his receiver in hand, until Stan swiped it from him.

"Billy, this is Fletcher. We copy that. Are the girls with him? Over."

"_Negative. He was alone in his van. He's being taken to be treated for burns and unknown injuries. Over."_

I couldn't listen anymore. What about the girls? I didn't give a damn about his injuries! Snatching the walkie talkie away from Stan, I barked. "What about the girls? Did he say _anything_ about them?"

I waited for a beat, until Billy's voice crackled.

"_From what I understand, the burning debris if for sure the house. You need to get there. The police said he's snapped, he's speaking incoherently, not making any sense. Over."_

"What has he said?!" I roared. Charlie grabbed the piece away from me then, and pushed the button to talk to Billy.

"Understood, Billy. We are approximately seven hundred and fifty feet from the area. How's the fire? Over."

We started walking again now, even faster than before.

"_Overhead reports are that the rain has subdued the fire from spreading any further. They're dropping some more down on the fire remaining, and it should be out by the time you reach the location…Good luck. Over."_

"Thanks. Over and out." He placed the walkie talkie back in his belt loop, not dropping his gait once. We all marched forward, stumbling a bit over some of the roots. Within fifteen minutes of walking, the smell of burning wood became overpowering, and we knew we were close. Carefully, we stepped through several more trees, when we came upon it.

The remains of a wooden cabin, burnt to the ground.

Some of it was still smoldering slightly, even in the rain, but the fire in the surrounding trees had been extinguished. I could hear the roar of the water choppers slightly off in the distance, and I could see the charred skeletons of the trees surrounding the area. The roof had burned completely through, only the shell of the framework still standing, completely blackened.

Gulping heavily, I followed after Charlie as we carefully made our way around the outside of the house, seeing only a few things still intact inside. We tread lightly inside what appeared to have been a kitchen, broken glass crunching beneath our feet. There were pots and pans everywhere, the whole room looking like a tornado had swept through. Charlie took a towel from his pack to wrap around the handle of the refrigerator as he opened it.

"Some melted containers in here. The fire would have turned this into a giant oven. It doesn't look like there was much food here," Charlie deduced.

Stepping past him into a smaller room, Stan pushed through some ashes and burnt wood to reveal dozens of cans. "Looks like they had _something_ to eat. All the labels have been burned off, though."

I continued on further into the house, looking at the brick of a fireplace in what could have been the living room, where burnt wood and remains were littered everywhere. Charlie and Stan caught up with me as we made our way down an empty smoky hallway, inspecting the former rooms of the cabin. Rain continued to fall on us through the nonexistent roof, the only sound we could hear aside from our breathing and footsteps. My heart pounded furiously in my ears, as we explored the tiny house. It was so eerie to be here now, finally to the place where my daughter had been for these last three weeks.

A charred door at our left, which was hanging by a thread to its frame, revealed a small room.

"Look at all these locks," I whispered.

Charlie visibly gulped. "This must have been where he kept them."

Walking inside slowly, I felt panic rise in my chest, at the thought of possibly finding my daughter somewhere in the remains of this house. This was _her_ room. _She_ had been here. But where was she now? For the first time since she was taken, I truly _did not_ want to find her yet.

_Please don't let her be here. Please don't let her be here._

The room was sparse, a blackened metal frame for a bed all that was discernible from the surrounding rubble. After a quick check in what would have been _her_ bathroom, we walked through the empty wall frame back into the hall. Walking across, we stepped into a small room. It revealed a washer and dryer set, and a large deep freezer, all black from the smoke. There was ash all around the appliances.

"That freezer has a lock on it," Stan pointed.

My eyes zeroed in on where he pointed. I had dismissed it as simply another way for him to store food, thankful he had at least been feeding them.

"Do you think maybe he locked it so they couldn't steal food?" I asked.

Charlie never broke his gaze from it to answer. "There were no locks on that pantry…"

He walked forward slowly, and fingered the lock carefully. He pulled on it, but it didn't give. "I need something to break this off with."

Stan walked out for only a moment, and returned with a long metal rod. I looked at him questioningly, and he simply replied. "Shower."

I nodded blankly as he handed it to Charlie, who was wholly unconcerned with where the rod came from. Bracing himself, he hit at the lock once, twice, three times, before it finally snapped open. He threw the rod down on the ground behind him, and reached for the lid of the freezer with shaky hands.

"Stop," Stan said, placing a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Just wait…Maybe I should open it, and Charlie…maybe you two should wait outside."

At his words, I panicked. "What?! What do you mean wait outside? You can't think that they're in _there_, can you? They're not! This is bullshit! I'll open the goddamn thing!" Rushing over before either of them could stop me, I tried to push open the freezer lid, but it seemed to be melted together. Instead of trying to stop me, Stan and Charlie both helped push the lid open.

Immediately I was overcome by the stench of burnt plastic and something else I couldn't decipher. My eyes watered from the offensive odor, and I blinked several times to clear them. As my vision became clearer, I realized Charlie was frozen next to me, staring down into the freezer. Looking for myself, I could see melted plastic, possibly once trash bags, covering the obvious form of an adult person, with a smaller form lying right beside it.

Stan broke the rigid silence. "Charlie, I'm so…"

He didn't get the chance to finish his apology before Charlie had him rammed up against the cracked beam of the wall behind him.

"Don't even fucking say it, Fletcher. You don't know that it's them. It could be the _real_ Victoria and Abigail. You do _not_ know that that is my daughter, so don't you dare fucking apologize to me like you know it is."

To Stan's credit, he didn't even flinch when Charlie attacked him, nor did he fight against him. He simply held himself up against the beam, looking at Charlie understandingly. "You're right, Charlie. I'm sorry. But you can't touch that. You've got to wait for forensics. We need to call them in here. I think we should go do that. Let's go outside, Charlie. You need to step away for a minute."

Charlie glared at him for a moment more, chest heaving with anger and resounding sadness, until he released him, backing away slowly. "You're right, Stan. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have handled you like that. I'm sorry."

Stan frowned and shook his head. "Let's just go outside. Edward, come on," he commanded, never taking his eyes off Charlie.

I followed them blindly out of the house, sitting down on the muddy ground as I let Stan make the call in to the police. Faintly, I heard the sounds of vomiting, and I looked up to see Charlie hunched over on his knees, just outside the house. The rainfall lightened to a mist, as I numbly waited to hear from Stan. He walked back over to me after a moment, glancing once over at Charlie, concerned.

"Er, I just spoke with the police. The search team has made their way through the forest to the south and east of here. They've found the path James created to make it to the cabin, and they're sending through the forensics team right away. The team on foot should be reaching us within the next ten minutes or so."

"So they haven't found anything yet?" I asked tonelessly.

He squinted his eyes at me. "No, but that doesn't mean they won't. Look, Edward I didn't know anything about another woman and child missing. We don't know that it's them in that freezer."

I closed my eyes and nodded. The only way I could force myself to keep breathing was to shut down. I was not allowing myself to feel anything right now.

"You should probably make sure you drink some water. You don't want to get dehydrated." He walked away to go look after Charlie, who sounded like he had stopped vomiting.

I unbuckled the straps of my backpack from around my waist, and pulled it around my front to dig out a bottle of water, when my hands hit something soft. _No. Please. _

My hands refused to listen to my mind's begging as they grasped the bear and pulled him out. Once my eyes saw Snuffles IV, I broke. I started weeping uncontrollably into his fur, hugging him tightly to my body. I sobbed wretchedly into him, forgetting about the outside world until the sound of dogs barking like mad began reverberating through the trees.

As a police Suburban pulled up with 'forensics' marked clearly on the side, with Marcus and Jonathan in tow, people began bursting through the trees. Most of them were dark-skinned men I recognized as Quileute, my family interspersed with them. Jake's dog came rushing forward, dragging Jake behind her as he tried to yell at her to stop. She barreled right for me, knocking me down on the ground with her massive paws, but not attacking. She sniffed all over Snuffles, and then turned her head back to Jake, whining softly.

Jake looked at me sympathetically, even if his face was still red from exertion. "Is that your daughter's?"

I grimaced, realizing his dog must have thought she found her mark. Nodding, I replied. "Sorry, I didn't mean to confuse the search that way. I never even thought about it."

Leah shot her head up, sniffing the air for a moment, and then sniffing Snuffles again. She sniffed once more in the air, and then began sticking her nose down in the dirt, pulling Jake forward as she plowed ahead. For a moment, I feared she was going to lead him to the freezer, but she never wavered from her path. Jake tried to slow her slightly, but she only growled at him once in return, and continued trudging forward.

"I think she's got something!" he shouted as she began pulling him north into the woods.

I jumped to my feet, Charlie and I running after him as he disappeared into the trees, followed swiftly by the other members of the pack.

**Please gift me with your thoughts on this chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15 The Great Escape

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine. Copyright Isakassees February 2010.**

**A/N: I can't believe your reader response to last chapter! Thank you to whoever has been rec'ing me out there on their profiles, twitter accounts, and story updates. Readers are coming out of nowhere, and it's so fuckawesome to get such great feedback. I have had a few requests for some outtakes, and I wanted to say I am planning on doing a Lily POV within the next couple of chapters, and a third person POV on what happened to the real Victoria and Abby. Would anyone want to hear the JPOV of what's happens between B/L's escape and his capture? If so let me know in your review. You can go to my profile to alert my outtakes story, or just put me on Author Alert. **

**EBT's back, and she fucking rocks. Even if her last update of HA may or may not have made me throw things like a crazy person. **

**Once again, this chapter picks up immediately where the last one left off.**

Chapter 15: The Great Escape

BPOV

She joined me on the last chorus, and I could hear the tears in her little voice.

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_All you need is love _

_All you need is love _

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

Our singing was stopped by the sound of keys jingling in the lock. We turned to see James open the door for us for the last time.

* * * * *

Holding my shirt tightly around myself, I limped into the kitchen behind James. Lily grasped my hand tightly as we walked into the pantry together. Once inside, I banged around a bit with the cans as I whispered to her.

"I'm going to give you the can opener when we get to the counter. Take it with you when you go to our room. And make sure you put on a sweater in case it's chilly."

She nodded furiously, eager to help. As we started to walk out with a few random cans in hand, the cooking oil on the bottom shelf caught my eye.

_Why did I not think of that before?_

_Probably because you haven't been capable of thought for days. Drugs, remember?_

_Right. _

As if on cue, James appeared in the doorway to the pantry, with pills in his hand. I began to reach for them again, hoping to dodge this dose as well, but he ignored my outstretched hands to stick them straight into my mouth, without me even getting to see what color they were. He stood there, waiting for me to swallow, so I forced them down. Thinking quickly to myself, I deduced that even if they were the dreaded black ones, I should have about thirty minutes before I was completely stoned and useless.

_Must attack quickly._

Once he had checked my mouth, he strode away from me, taking his seat at the table. I took a deep breath to calm myself before walking out with Lily. She scrambled up onto the counter, using the handles of the drawers as stepping stones. Leaving her there for a moment, I started a large pot with water to boil, and a large skillet full of cooking oil to heat. With my weight shifted solely on my right leg, I lifted the pans, one at a time, to test their weight, to make sure I was strong enough. I winced a bit when I picked up the pot of water, its heaviness a strain on my rib.

_So the oil first, or the water? Decisions, decisions, decisions._

Hobbling back over to Lily, I pulled out the can opener, and used it to open the cans on the counter. While blocking Lily from James' view with my body, I stuffed the can opener into her pants pocket. Looking back at the stove, I could see the heat waving above the frying oil, and the water was beginning to bubble. My heart thumping in my ribcage, I swallowed heavily. It was time. _Now or never. _

Turning back to Lily, I looked her straight in the eye, and then very firmly blinked my eyes shut. I saw her chest start heaving, and she blinked in return, before throwing her arms around my neck, and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

I held one of her hands as she jumped down from the counter, walking over to the stove while she approached James.

"Daddy? I need to go potty. I'll be right back, okay?"

He caressed her cheek softly, and I flinched as I saw him make contact with her face. "Sure, baby. Don't want you to have an accident. Hurry up!"

She nodded and walked quickly away, pushing the door closed a bit behind her. I slowly pulled the glass piece out from under my shirt and set it behind the pot of water, out of James' sight. Adrenaline surged through my body, giving my limbs strength I knew I didn't truly have. I could only hope that it could numb my mind to the pain that was surely to come in the next few moments. My hands were shaking as I realized…_this is it. I'm taking my life back. _

_Because this…this is not my life. _

Holding the frying pan as steady as I could, I turned slightly towards James. _I need to distract him somehow. He can't see me coming._

Pointing at the wall to the right of him, I shrieked. "Oh my God, is that a mouse?"

Startled, he looked over to where I pointed. "What? Whe-"

I slammed the frying pan down over his head, the oil splattering down his face and his shirt. The force of my blow made his face fly forward into the table, where his nose hit and started to bleed. Screaming in pain and rage, he shot to his feet, holding his face. Turning quickly, I grabbed the pot of boiling water and threw that on top of his already red, burned skin. He screamed in agony again, falling back a few steps away from me.

As I reached for the glass, my forearm touched the burner, singing it slightly. I hardly felt the pain as I stalked towards him, using the chair from the table to lean on for support of my weak foot. The oil had burned his eyes badly, and I could see they were puffy and hardly open. I lunged for him, slicing his neck with my glass, which promptly fell apart. But it hadn't cut nearly as deep as I had hoped, and he was still standing. He grabbed my arm, taking the glass piece still in my hand, and stabbed it deep into my upper arm, then pushing me away from him.

"You fucking bitch!" he screamed, starting to take off for the hallway, either to get his gun or Lily, I wasn't sure.

"NOOOOOO!!!" I shrieked, jumping onto him, knocking us both over the sofa and pushing the coffee table into the fireplace. He shoved me off of his body easily, and jumped to his feet immediately, landing a kick to my side. I rolled away before he could land his next one, and swung my right leg around to knock him off his feet. They flew out from underneath him, and he landed hard on his back, which knocked the wind out of him for a moment.

I scrambled up as quickly as I could, looking desperately for something to hit him with. If I could just get him unconscious, I could get the keys, and we could leave. Looking towards the fireplace, the coffee table was starting to burn, the books on top of it working as kindling to spurn it on. The jar of marbles caught my eye on the mantel, and I hobbled to it as fast as my feet would carry me, and snatched it up. Raising it high above my head for leverage, he was starting to rise as I smashed it down on his head.

The jar broke, marbles scattering everywhere, and I fell to my knees beside him as I studied him. He was still breathing, but he was bleeding from his head, nose and neck, and I couldn't help the bile and dry heaves that wrecked my body for a few moments. I was relieved to see two small tablets in the green bile on the floor, and once I had recovered, I reached underneath his shirt collar to pull out the long chain of keys, ripping them over his head roughly. His face looked truly grotesque, with burns and blood covering every inch of it.

The room started filling with smoke, as it spread to the bookcase, igniting like an inferno. It was only a matter of time before the entire house would be ablaze.

"Lily!" I shouted. She came barreling out of the room immediately, dragging our bags behind her. She froze when she saw me, her eyes taking in the carnage around her. "Run to the door!" I commanded, snapping her out of it. I didn't want her to see what I had done to him.

_We've had enough fucking nightmares for the rest of our life._

She ran to the door, starting to cough as the smoke billowed around us. I crawled over to the door, pulling myself up by the knob, and started to shakily try keys in the locks. After what seemed an eternity, I finally got the first two unlocked, when I heard James start to groan behind us. Lily started whimpering, "Bella, hurry. Hurry, Bella."

Tears pouring down my face, I forced my eyes to focus on the brand on the locks, trying to match it to the keys in my hand. The door flew open for us as James started coming to and coughing loudly behind us. Pushing Lily out of the door, I shut it behind us, only managing to lock one of the deadbolts from the outside before I heard James pulling at the door, screaming and coughing.

"You fucking whore! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" he croaked, banging on the door.

My heart pounding, I looked around us as the sun started to set. Spotting the van, I glanced down at the keys in my hand, not finding a car key anywhere among them.

_Fuck, how am I supposed to run like this?_

Limping a bit further out towards the van, I spotted some lumber planks propped up against the side of the house. I started towards them, but was stopped by Lily. "Bella! What about your arm?"

Glancing down, I realized the glass was still stuck halfway into it. Now that I saw it, my body registered the shooting pain. I shook my head at her. I could feel my heart pumping, but my adrenaline was fading fast. "We don't have time right now. I'll fix it once we're away from here. We've got to hurry." I staggered over to the planks, finding one that was a suitable length for use as a makeshift crutch.

With great difficulty, we made our way closer to the van, where I could see the path James had driven us here on. I wanted so badly to follow it back to civilization, but I knew that if James made his way out of the cabin, he would likely come down this way. We couldn't risk running into him. I wouldn't survive another confrontation with him.

_Opposite direction of the path it is._

Lily was still coughing a bit, and I was worried about her inhaling too much of the smoke. "Are you okay?" I asked as I took the sheet of cans out of her hands, knowing it was too heavy to expect her to carry. It was too heavy for me as well, but she needed food, and I had no way of knowing how deep these forests were.

Hacking a bit, she replied. "Yeah, it just tastes dirty in my mouth. It's making my throat feel itchy."

Nodding to her, I started moving forward into the trees. "Hold onto either the bag or my wrist, but I don't want to lose you in here. It's going to be dark soon, and we can't get separated, okay? Once we're far enough away, we'll stop and I'll get you something to eat, deal?"

"Okay, Bella."

We stumbled and staggered what I would guess was about a couple hundred feet, when a large bang echoed through the trees. I froze, as did Lily beside me. I knew a gunshot when I heard one. Looking over Lily frantically, I tried to make sure the shot hadn't possibly hit her. More than terrified now, I pulled her over to a large tree to slip behind, waiting to hear what was happening. Could James have killed himself? Was he shooting into the trees trying to hit us?

Holding my finger to my lips to shush her, she nodded, frightened, while we sat, petrified. In the distance, I heard the one voice I longed to never hear again, the voice that would haunt me until my dying day.

His raspy voice rang out through the forest. "I know you're out there! I found you once, I'll find you again! It doesn't matter where you go, I'll never stop hunting you! You'll fucking pay for this Victoria! I want my fucking daughter!" His voice cracked at the end, and I could hear very faint coughing.

Lily was shaking in my arms, and I whimpered as tears fell down my face. I just wanted this to be over, I just wanted to go home. Too afraid to run for fear I would give away our location, but too scared to stay and wait for him to find us to slaughter.

_I don't know what to do. I wish my dad was here. I can't do this. _

We sat, holding each other, gasping through our tears as we waited to hear a sign of his coming. After a few moments, I heard the rumble of an engine, and leaves rustling, as the sounds of the car faded away. Waiting a bit longer, I whispered to Lily. "I think he's gone."

She shook her head rapidly into my shirt. "I'm scared. I want my real daddy."

I squeezed her as best I could. "I know, sweetie. Let's get a move on. I want to get further away from the house before we stop to feed you."

Looking up at me with glassy eyes, she fingered below the glass carefully. "Firsts you gotta fix that."

Grimacing, I nodded. "Okay. But I'm going to need your help."

Her eyes widened. "What do I do?"

Pointing to the trash bag of supplies, I told her, "Get out the first aid kit for me. Then I'll need your help getting off this shirt."

She ripped open the back quickly, and pulled out the small plastic box, setting it out open before us.

"We're going to have to do this quickly, before it's completely dark. Can you help me with my shirt?"

She nodded, and began helping me peel off the filthy button-down. The night air was chilly around us, and the wife-beater I wore offered me little warmth.

"Bella, your skin's so hot."

"I'm f-f-f-freezing," I stuttered.

She looked at me incredulously as she helped me pull my left sleeve down.

"Alright. I'm going to pull the glass out, and when I do, I need you to bunch up the shirt and push down really hard on my owie, okay?"

She grimaced, but agreed.

"On the count of three, okay? One…two…three!"

She scrunched up the material on two and I yanked out the glass, tossing it aside. She pushed down on the bleeding wound, causing me to cry out. Her hands flew back, and she started crying.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Gasping, I picked the shirt back up, and pressed it against the gash again. "No, Lily. You didn't do anything wrong. It just hurts, sweetie. Can you bring that kit over closer to me? It's too dark to see what's in there."

She snatched it up with shaky hands, and held it right underneath my face. I chuckled at her enthusiasm a bit, and pushed it down slightly with my left hand so I could actually see it.

"Okay, perfect. I need you to open these little wipes for me so I can clean it. Then I'll need your helping wrapping it up with that gauze. Do you think you can do that? Like you did with my ankle?"

"Yeah, I can do it, Bella. I'm really almost five. That's my whole hand."

"I know. You're so big. I can't wait to tell everybody how much you helped me."

"I can't wait for our perfect days."

I smiled at her sadly. "I might need a couple of days to rest before we can do that, but I can't wait either."

"My real daddy will fix you, Bella. He's so good a doctor."

"I know sweetie. Can you get those wipes for me, please?"

She giggled. _I love that sound._ "Oops. Sorry, I forgotted." She pulled an alcohol wipe open and handed it to me. Biting my lip to soften the sting, I dropped the shirt to wipe around the wound. It was still bleeding heavily, so I gave up quickly on trying to get it clean.

"Let's just wrap it up tight. It's probably going to need stitches or something. Will you help me wrap it like you wrapped my foot?"

"Yeah. Just hold really still," she commanded sternly.

"Yes, ma'am," I giggled.

She glared at me. "Bella. I'm serious. I'm being your doctor right now. Laughing is moving. No moving."

I bit my lip again to keep in my laughs, but quickly switched to biting down on my tongue as she pulled the gauze around my arm securely. I tried to shift slightly, but gasped as the shooting pains in my back and abdomen returned.

"Aaaah!" I cried.

She held her hands still on my arm as she stared at me, alarmed. "What?! What is it?!"

"My-" my voice broke as the spasms took my breath away. I crumpled over onto the forest floor, wrapping my arms tightly around myself, trying to keep the pain from tearing me in half.

"Bella?! Bella?! What do I do? What is it?!" she screamed, frantically.

I knew I was hyperventilating, and it was causing me even more pain, as my sharp, rapid intakes of breath made my bruised ribs twinge. My vision started to grow blurry, and it was getting even darker as I struggled to remain conscious. Through the fog seeping into my mind, I could hear a muffled voice, but it wasn't speaking. I tried to concentrate on the voice. It was soft and shaky, but it was beautiful.

"_-you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need-"_

_I know that song. That's our song. That's Lily. I have to stay with Lily. Calm down. I have to calm down._

Slowly, my breathing calmed, the pain in my ribs dissipating slightly. The ache in my back was still sharp, but bearable for the moment.

"_-is love. All you need is love. All-"_

"Thank you, Lily," I whispered.

She sniffled as she lay on the ground beside me. "Are you okay, Bella? What happened?"

"I'm not sure, sweetie. I'm still pretty sick. But we still need to get further away before we can rest for the night. Do you think you can help me up?"

She wiped her eyes and nodded. Sitting up, she held her arms out to help me. Bracing my left arm beneath me, we were able to pull me upright. The sharp, shooting pains were still overwhelming, but I tried to breathe slowly through them. As I inhaled, I could smell the distinct odor of burning wood wafting towards us.

_The cabin._

"Oh my God, Lily. We have to get further away, _now_. The cabin is still burning. If it spreads, we need to be as far away as possible."

"Bella, you're still really hot," she coughed.

Concerned, I looked her over, rubbing her throat with my uninjured hand. "Are you sure you feel okay, Lily? I'm worried about your cough."

"I'm just really thirsty."

"Yeah, me too. Let's get a move on so we can stop for the night, and then I'll feed you."

"You have to eat too, Bella. He's gone now. You can eat all the time," she scolded.

I swallowed heavily at the thought of food. It churned my stomach. "We don't have very much, Lily. And I'm afraid I'm too sick right now to eat anything. I don't want to waste it, if I'm just going to throw it back up afterward."

"But Bella-"

"Lily, we don't have time to argue. We need to go. We'll talk more once we're settled for the night," I said firmly.

She huffed and pouted. "Fine," she muttered petulantly.

Clawing at the tree beside us, I pulled myself unsteadily up, shifting the plank underneath my arm to help me walk. Dragging the sack of cans behind us, we started to make our way through the trees slowly. It grew darker and darker with each step, and the canopy overhead allowed very little moonlight to filter through. Worried we could be separated, I paused.

"Stop for a minute, Lily," I huffed, already out of breath, even though we had only traveled a few dozen feet. I felt her brush against my hand holding the plank.

"I need you to hold onto the sack of food or something, Lily."

"But it's too heavy," she whined.

"No, sweetie. I don't need you to carry it, I just want you to keep your hand on it so we can't get separated from each other. The woods are so dark, I can barely see you."

"Oh, okay. My real daddy makes me hold onto stuff too."

I smiled at her new way of referring to Edward. My heart felt a small pang of pride as I heard her remember her life before all of _this_. James was still out there somewhere, but we were free of him, and he would never get to confuse her again.

"I got it, Bella."

"Okay, great. Let's start walking again. Next time we stop, we'll be done for the night."

"Okay. I hope we stop soon. My feet are tired. Can you carry me?"

I shook my head, even though she couldn't see me. "No, sweetie, I'm sorry. I really can't. I'm just not strong enough right now. But once I'm better, I'll carry you all over Disneyworld when we go, okay? And we'll dance together and everything."

We started walking again, as she replied happily, more upbeat now. "It's gonna be _awesome._"

She continued chattering away excitedly about our perfect day trip as we made our way through the trees, hopefully not walking in giant circles. I was unsure how far we had gone, but I could faintly hear water flowing somewhere nearby, maybe a river or stream? I couldn't smell any smoke now, so I decided this was as good a place as any. Neither of us could go very much further regardless.

"I think this is good, Lily. We can stop now." I threw my plank down, and fell to the ground heavily, wincing in pain. Pulling the sack of food towards me, I opened it up and began pulling out cans, squinting at their labels, trying to find something to feed her.

"Here, I'm pretty sure this is canned pineapples. You can drink the juice so you won't be so thirsty. Do you still have that can opener?" I prayed silently that it hadn't been lost in the woods, cursing myself for not taking it from her sooner.

"Um, yeah. It's still in my pocket. It's been poking me," she giggled.

_I have to get that laugh on a recording._

"Great. Let me teach you how to use it to open up the cans." _Just in case I can't soon._

She sat closely beside me, her face directly in front of mine, eager to learn something new. _I never knew kids were so easy to entertain._ I helped her little fingers place the opener on the lid of can, and tried to squeeze gently on top of her hand to help her puncture it. She turned the utensil with ease, and had it opened in no time. Her voice rang out sadly in the darkness.

"Will you please eat, Bella? Just try one bites," she pleaded.

I was shaking badly now, tremors racking my body and causing even more pain in my ribs. "Lily, I really don't think I can. Please just eat. Don't worry about me."

I felt her hand land on my arms, which were wrapped around my body, trying to hold myself together. _I am really, really sick._

"Bella, you're really hot! Why are you shaking so bad?"

"I'm actually freezing, L-L-Lily," I stuttered through my rattling teeth.

"Bell-"

"Lily, please just eat," I cried, feeling myself start to lose it again.

There was a brief pause, before her timid voice answered. "Okay, Bella. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

I started crying, because I hated that I couldn't keep myself in control better than I was. "I'm not mad at you, sweetie. We just need to get to sleep soon, and I need you to eat first."

Her reply was the sound of her soft chewing. Leaves on the ground rustled beneath me as I tried to situate myself into a more comfortable position, but every movement I made was excruciating. My mind began to race at the thought of not being able to continue on.

_Can I send her off alone? What if I die out here? What if James comes back for us?_

"Bella?"

"Y-y-yeah, ssssweetie?" I slurred.

"Can I eat some more? I'm still hungry."

"Of c-course. Eat." I barely got the words out of my mouth before nausea overtook me, and I hunched over, dry heaving into the ground. I coughed and hacked and choked until the burn of stomach acid in my throat leeched tears from my eyes. The distinct taste of blood in my mouth caused my stomach to churn and roll all over again. I could hear Lily beside me, crying and fawning all over me.

I tried weakly to push her away, but my arms didn't want to work. Finally, after what seemed an age, my body stopped heaving, and I was able to take a breath, even though the taste was rancid.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Lily cried.

"Yeah, I'm okay now," I lied. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Are you ready to sleep now?"

I heard only silence. "Lily?"

"Oh, yeah. I was nodding."

I chuckled weakly, but grimaced as it became a cough. "I can't see you nod, silly. It's dark."

"Yeah. I'm kind of scared of this much dark."

"Don't be scared. I'm here with you. Let's just go to sleep."

I leaned back against the tree, and pulled her to my side feebly. She curled into me.

"Your skin's so hot, Bella. It's keeping me nice and toasty."

"Good, I'm glad. You're keeping me nice and toasty too."

Closing my eyes, I faded to black before I could hear her reply.

*

Later in the night, or very early the next morning, I was woken by a roar overhead. I jolted up, but fell immediately back. My body had no strength left.

Looking down at Lily, I could tell her eyes were open and staring right back at me. "Bella, what was that? I've been trying to wake you up. I need to go potty really, really bad. I'm gonna have an accident."

Widening my eyes, I tried to think quickly. "Um, okay. I want you to count five giant steps away from me, and then you can do your business. You're going to have to squat, do you think you can do that?"

"Ewww."

"I know, sweetie. Here, make sure you take some toilet paper with you."

She rustled in the bag and pulled out a roll. She counted loudly as she walked away from me. I smiled, and fought to keep my eyes open so I could watch her.

"Bella? Can you talk to me or something? It's too quiet. I can't go. What was that noise? Where did it go? Do you think it's my real daddy?"

I tried to speak, but my breaths had become too shallow to get any words out. It felt like there was a weight on my chest, holding my lungs down. I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry.

"Bellaaaa…" she whined.

It was definitely morning, I could see her more clearly every minute that passed. When she was finally able to focus on my face, her tone changed.

"Bella?" she called out timidly.

I pulled at my chest, trying to loosen whatever knot was inside, keeping me from taking a full breath. Lily finished quickly, and came scrambling back over to me.

"What is it? How come you're not talking? What's wrong?" she cried, frantic now.

The more I tried to talk, the harder it was to breathe, so I gave up my attempts, just sitting there, until it started to rain. Too exhausted to even care about myself getting soaked at this point, I was still worried about Lily catching a cold.

"Lily," I wheezed. "Trash bag. Go. Into trash bag. Rain."

She cocked her head at me, confused. "What? You want me to go in the trash bag? I'm not supposed to play in plastic bags. I could succofate."

"Head out," I choked. "Now."

Looking at me warily, she climbed into the bag, fitting inside just barely on top of the supplies inside. "Like this?" she asked skeptically.

I tried to reply, but it came out as a faint moan instead. Locking eyes with her, I blinked. My vision started to blur, and I scrunched my eyes shut, trying to clear them. Opening them was exceedingly difficult, and everything was getting fuzzier and fuzzier. My back slipped down the tree, and the blinding pain I felt on impact with the ground and Lily's anguished cry were the last things I remembered as the world around me fell away.

*

**I know you probably hate me right now because you wanted the reunion this chapter, but you honestly ought to know me better than that by now. Slow burn, bbs. Next chapter is The Great Rescue, and I hope it will live up to all your expectations. As soon as it's finished and beta'ed I will post, probably later this week. **

**Drop me a line and let me know what you thought of this chapter.**


	16. Chapter 16 The Great Rescue

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 Isakassees**

**A/N: Motherfucker. Another two chapter week. Don't get used to it bbs. I can't possibly keep it up, but I knew I needed to get it out before everybody went crazy. Without further ado I give you….**

Chapter 16: The Great Rescue

EPOV

Leah shot her head up, sniffing the air for a moment, and then sniffing Snuffles again. She sniffed once more in the air, and then began sticking her nose down in the dirt, pulling Jake forward as she plowed ahead. For a moment, I feared she was going to lead him to the freezer, but she never wavered from her path. Jake tried to slow her slightly, but she only growled at him once in return, and continued trudging forward.

"I think she's got something!" he shouted, as she began pulling him north into the woods.

I jumped to my feet, Charlie and I running after him as he disappeared into the trees, followed swiftly by the other members of the pack.

* * * * *

Yelling behind us as we ran, Charlie called out. "Stan! Get back to the chopper and follow overhead! We'll land you down at the nearest location when we find something!"

I heard Stan shout back, "Copy!", but my focus was solely on Jacob's form running through the thick trees. Leah was nearly ripping his arm off as he struggled to keep up with her. A few hundred feet into the woods, she stopped suddenly just behind a large tree.

"A shirt! She's found a shirt!"

Charlie and I made our way to him a few seconds later, and we caught our breaths as Jacob picked it up carefully. Holding it out for us to study, my heart dropped into my stomach as I realized it was covered in blood. A woman's shirt. Slashed to high hell, filthy, soaking wet, and _covered_ in blood. Glancing over to Charlie, I saw his eye twitch and his jaw clench. Reaching for his walkie talkie, he barked out to Stan.

"Fletcher. Hurry. Over."

"_Copy that. Over._"

Snatching the shirt away from Jacob, he knelt on the ground in front of Leah. "Smell it, girl. Find this scent. Follow it, girl. Take us to Bella."

"Charlie, it's wet. I don't think she can catch her scent off of it," Jake cajoled.

"Jacob Black, do not make me hurt you. If she found it here, she can find it out there," Charlie snapped.

"Here," I blurted, thrusting Snuffles out to the dog. "See if she'll follow this again."

Leah's ears perked up as I held Snuffles out to her, and she rubbed her nose against it for a minute, before barking excitedly, and taking off into the woods again. As we ran, Charlie began shouting, "Bella! Lily! If you can hear us, answer! Bella! Lily!"

I followed suit, shouting their names as well. I could hear others behind us, calling out for them, but couldn't determine any response because of all the shouting. Charlie snarled into his walkie talkie. "Everyone, quiet! We need to wait and see if we can hear anything!" Still following behind Leah, I strained my ears, dying to hear something, anything.

Nothing.

We continued on through the trees, having to slow slightly as the forest became even denser around us. I could hear Stan's chopper roaring behind us, and glancing down at my GPS, I saw that we were nearing the northwestern edge of the forest. Suddenly, Leah barked loudly, and took off with such force that Jacob lost his hold on her leash. We tore off after her, but my life stopped as I heard my Lily's glass-shattering scream. Tears began to build in my eyes as the anticipation of the last twenty-two days came to a breaking point inside of me.

Jake, Charlie, and I caught up with Leah first, and I was met with the dirt-smudged, terrified face of my _baby_. She didn't notice me at first, frozen, staring at the giant wolf in front of her.

"Leah! Come!"

Lily's head snapped towards Jake as he called the dog off, her eyes widening as her body began to quake in fear. The tears that began to fall down her face tore at my heart, and I unconsciously took another step closer to her. I was afraid to move too quickly, afraid this was another one of my dreams, where she would disappear if I touched her. Jasper's words came back into my mind, haunting me. _"She may be afraid of you."_

As I moved, her eyes shot to me, and her jaw dropped. "Real daddy?" she whispered, disbelievingly.

A strangled sound escaped my throat, as my tears sprang free from my eyes. All the breath left my body to form only one word. "_Lily._"

Her face broke into the most beautiful grin I had ever seen, before it slowly fell, and tears fell down her face again. I was still frozen where I stood, afraid to approach her now, more than ever. _Was she afraid of me?_

"Daddy, you have to fix Bella!" she ordered as she finally stood, revealing Bella's body lying on the ground behind her. Charlie's hand flew to his mouth as he took in his daughter's prone form, muffling his cry. My mouth gaped for a split second as the thought entered my mind that my daughter had been stuck out in the woods with a corpse, before I allowed my inner doctor to take over, and I sprang into action.

_She can't die. I have to get the chance to thank her. She can't leave Charlie._

Flying over to them, I spared an all too brief second to wrap my arms around my precious little baby girl. Only now that she was in my arms, really truly in my arms, could I admit how I never thought I would get the chance to do this again. She hugged me back for only a moment, before shoving me off of her, taking Snuffles with her.

"Daddy, please. Fix Bella now!" I had trouble tearing my eyes away from her, wanting to check her first, selfish as it may have been. I began to look her over, but she shook her head at me and rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Daddy. Fix _her_! She's been sick for days!" She walked over to Charlie, saying something I couldn't quite catch, before he scooped her up in his arms, burying his face in her hair.

"Somebody bring me a blanket and some water!" he shouted, and people came running from all directions over to him immediately.

Looking down at Bella, my first observation was how the woman before me was not the same woman I saw in the grocery store three weeks ago. This woman couldn't be Bella. She was too gaunt, too pale. Throwing my duffel down beside her body, I ripped the zipper open to begin my assessment.

"Carlisle! Dad! Are you here?" I shouted.

"Here, son." He ran up to me, out of breath, the light in his eyes firing into doctor mode as he took in Bella's trembling form beneath him. He threw his own pack to the ground and we began our work.

I checked for a pulse, as my father listened to her heartbeat. My eyes shot to my father in alarm, and the look we shared was the same. _Much too weak. Much too hot. _Speaking softly in her ear, I murmured. "Bella? Can you open your eyes for me? This is Edward Cullen, Lily's father. We're here to help you."

Her chest continued to barely rise and fall, her shallow breaths turning her lips blue. "She's not getting enough oxygen, Edward. Do you have a bag valve mask in your bag?"

Digging through the supplies in the duffel, I threw out the mask and a thermometer. While I placed the mask over her mouth, my father ran the thermometer over her forehead. "Jesus Christ. 106," he muttered. "We've got to bring it down." He shuffled around in his bag, until he pulled out a syringe of something, probably ibuprofen. "We need to get an IV in, Edward. She needs fluid, now."

As I began to pull out a bag of saline solution with my spare hand not pumping the oxygen bag, her body began to convulse. "Shit, Dad, I think she's seizing."

He began barking out orders around us. "You! Come here now!" he yelled at a man in an EMS uniform. The man rushed over quickly, awaiting my father's instructions. He was clearly running this show. "Charlie!" he barked. "Does Bella have a history of seizures?"

"No!" Charlie answered quickly.

My dad nodded once. "Alright, then we're treating this as a febrile seizure. Edward, do you have any Depacon in your bag?"

Sifting through the various syringes in my duffel, I pulled out a shot of Rivotril. "No, Dad. I have some clonazepam."

"Do it. Now."

As I injected the anticonvulsant into Bella, her seizure stopped, and her body fell still. Too still. _No. _"She's stopped breathing!" Checking quickly for a heartbeat, I shouted at my dad. "She's gone into arrest! Starting compressions now." I ripped open her shirt, ignoring the canvas of bruises that was her torso. I began compressions on her chest, as my father settled the oxygen mask over her mouth again. Watching her closely, her chest didn't rise when he pushed air into her body.

_Come on, Bella._

"She's not getting any air. I think something's blocking her airway. She may have coughed something up during her seizure. We need to intubate if we can get a rhythm. Defib. Now!" The EMT made himself useful as I continued the CPR. As my father again attempted to give her oxygen, the EMT produced the AED from my bag, which thankfully had charged up since I activated it back in Stan's chopper.

"Aha!" he cried, pulling out the Epi-pen from the bag. I moved aside, allowing him to place the pads onto her body as I continued my compressions.

"Clear!" he shouted. Her body moved slightly under the charge, and I waited to resume compressions as my father checked for a pulse. He shook his head. "Again." I pumped thirty more times, feeling her frail ribs give way underneath my hands.

"Clear!" the EMT called. The jolt shocked her again, and my dad rechecked her.

"Yes! Edward, epinephrine! You! Come hold her head!"

I pushed the Epi-pen into her as the EMT stabilized her. Her chest still wasn't moving, and she needed oxygen quickly. I moved back as my father worked silently and surely, placing the tube down her throat, and attaching the oxygen bag with ease. Finally, we could see air filling her lungs, as her chest rose with each breath we gave her. Her eyes flew open and began darting to each of us. Her hands twitched at her sides, but she was too weak to move. I placed my hand into hers as I tried to calm her.

"Bella, this is Edward Cullen. I'm here with your dad. This is my father Carlisle. We've had to put a tube down your throat to help you breathe. We need for you to stay calm while we try to treat you."

She stared into my eyes, uncomprehending, but she looked frightened.

"Charlie! Where's Stan?" my dad yelled out.

Charlie came over to get a look at Bella with Lily still in his arms. "He's landed on the north end of the forest on the Lower Elwha reservation. He's making his way in now with a stretcher for transport. Uley! Emmett! Go intersect and help him carry it in!" A large copper-skinned man and Emmett took off northeast into the woods, disappearing quickly behind the trees.

"She needs blood quickly. She's still bleeding from the arm, and we've no way of knowing if there's any internal bleeding until we can get her in for an ultrasound. Edward, hand me that suture kit." I tossed it to him, and he let the EMT take over pumping the oxygen into her as he moved over her, pulling the gauze wrapped around her arm off. As he did, Bella's eyes fluttered, and then shut again. He checked her pulse immediately, relieved when he found one.

"Christ," he muttered. "It just barely missed the axillary artery here. Is there any blood in the chopper?"

I shook my head, unsure. "I'm not sure. Charlie, contact Stan to find out if there's any blood in the chopper. What type is she, do you know?"

"O-negative. Fletcher, come in. Over."

"_Fletcher here, over."_

"Do you have blood supply in chopper?"

"_Negative. Over."_

"Copy that. ETA? Over."

"_Less than five minutes. Over."_

"We need to get a line in immediately. Edward, look in there for a bag of D5W. Charlie, where's the nearest hospital?" my dad asked.

"Olympic Medical. The chopper can land there. They've already been called. They're awaiting our arrival."

"Good, good. Let's go ahead and get started on the line so we can bring the fever down. Edward, you'll need to do it on your side, I'm still working on this gash."

I went to work, wrapping a tourniquet around her arm, trying to find a vein I could stick a needle into, but she was so dehydrated, I couldn't get a vein. "We're going to have to put a central line in through the femoral artery." I started cutting through the front of her jeans with a pair of trauma shears, until Lily screamed.

"No! You can't touch her there!"

Anger and panic flew up into my chest as I tried to control my reaction to her fear. _I swear to God if that monster touched them, I will kill him wearing a fucking smile._

Charlie tried to coax her soothingly as she struggled against him in his arms. Putting her on the ground gently, she ran to Bella's side, _guarding_ her from us. My eyes flew over Lily's body frantically, trying to assess any injury _he_ may have caused her. Rosalie and Jasper ran up to us, approaching Lily cautiously.

"Lily," he began. "Listen to Uncle Jazzy. They need to open her pants so they can give her an IV. She's very sick, and this is the only way she's going to get better. No one is going to hurt her, I promise. Can you let them do that, please, Lily?"

She looked down at Bella and back at us, with a worried expression on her face.

Rose tried to coax her. "Lily, we can watch from over here while they work. You'll see that they won't hurt her. Her daddy's here. He wouldn't let them hurt her."

After a beat, she nodded slowly, letting Rose take her by the hand out of our way. "Just watch out for her foot. It's hurted."

Looking down at her feet, I could see the left ankle was swollen and bloody. I couldn't tell if it was just sprained or broken, but it would have to wait.

I sliced down the front of her pants, ripping them with my hands as I came closer to the apex of her thighs. Two green pills fell out of her pocket as it tore open. Picking them up, I turned them over in my hand. _Oxycontin. 80mg each. Is this what's in her system right now?_

"What have you got there, Edward?" my dad asked.

"Oxycontin, 160mg total. That may be what caused the respiratory arrest."

He nodded, then urged me on. "Get that line in. If she is overdosing, we need to get fluids into her system as quickly as possible."

I looked back down at her leg, trying to find a vein amidst bruises I didn't want to acknowledge yet. "Much better. Alright, get me a cath while I clean the area real quick," I murmured to my dad, who had finished stitching her arm up. Stan and Uley came up to us just as I finished placing the line in.

"Alright, it's flushed. Attach the bag and get her fluids started. I injured at least two ribs that I could tell when I was administering the CPR, so be mindful of that when we move her." We worked in tandem together, moving her over to the stretcher carefully, the EMT continuing the oxygen as he walked beside Uley and Emmett as they carried her through the woods. Charlie followed quickly behind with Stan, and he only had eyes for his daughter. And now I needed mine.

Turning towards her, I fell to my knees with my arms outstretched for her. She ran into me, throwing her arms around my neck, and knocking me over into the forest floor, coughing a little bit. Concerned, I asked her, "Lily, are you feeling okay?"

She gave me her crooked smile, _my _crooked smile. "Yeah, Daddy. My throat's itchy from the smoke, but I'm okay. C'mon! We need to hurry so we can go to the hospital with Bella!" She jumped up, pulling me along with her. I laughed at her as she struggled to pull me faster through the woods.

_I can't believe she's really here, holding my hand._

"Come _on_, Daddy! We have to make sure she's okay! Hurry up!" Even holding hands, the distance between us was too much. I needed to _hold_ her. Scooping her up, I situated her on my hip as we made our way behind the others. There was so much I wanted to ask her, but was afraid to. Jasper matched my stride and broke the ice.

"Lily, when we get to the hospital, we're going to need to get you checked out, okay? And then maybe someone could come in and talk to you if you're feeling up to it. About while you were gone."

Her arms tightened around my neck. "No. I want to see Bella. I'm fine. Bella tooked care of me."

"You'll get to see Bella. But they'll be working on her for a while, and we need to just double-check and make sure you're alright. I think Bella would want you to listen to what the doctors say," he persuaded.

I tried to convince her. "Daddy just wants to look you over once, okay, baby?"

Her entire body tensed, and her timid voice whispered in my ear. "Please don't say that."

Stopping for a second, I pulled her back to look her in the eye, sharing a concerned look with Jasper. "Lily? What's wrong? What did I say?"

Her eyes filled with tears, and they spilled down her dirty cheeks. "Please don't call me baby. I don't like that. Not anymore."

My eyes burned as I nodded. "Is Lilybug still okay? Or princess?"

She smiled weakly. "Yeah, Daddy. Just not…the other one."

Looking into her face, burning it into my memory, I spoke the words I had been dying to say to her for twenty-two days. "Lily, I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

My mind raced as we began to walk again, faster now, as we heard the chopper start up just beyond the last line of trees.

_How would we recover from this? Would we ever be able to go back to the way we were before?_

Jasper hung back as we neared the chopper.

"I'll see you at the hospital!" he shouted over the roar of the engine.

I turned and nodded, to show that I had heard him before he ran towards the remaining search team members. Stan was already in his pilot's seat, ready for takeoff, and the EMT hopped out to make room for Lily and me. Charlie sat up front next to Stan, giving my dad space to monitor Bella.

I placed some headphones over Lily's ears to protect them from the overwhelming roar of the helicopter, cradling her in my lap as we took off for the hospital in Port Angeles. The ride took less than ten minutes, and their emergency team was waiting on the roof for our arrival. As we landed, my father began to exchange Bella's status with the attending.

"Blood pressure is eighty-five over fifty. Temp down to 104. Possible febrile seizure on scene treated with one mg Rivotril. Immediately suffered respiratory distress followed by cardiac arrest on the scene, unknown cause, possible opiate overdose. CPR administered, defibrillation, epinephrine, and breathing tube to clear a blocked airway. Severely dehydrated, given one bag of D5W on scene, still administering. May have suffered major blood loss, type O-neg needed. I think she might be going into sepsis."

The attending nodded, as they took over the oxygen mask and began wheeling Bella's stretcher towards the roof elevator. "We're going to Trauma IV, you're welcome to observe if you wish."

My father looked back at Lily and myself, obviously wanting to stay with us and check over his only granddaughter, but the pleading look in Charlie's eyes must have broken him. Turning back to the doctor, he replied, "Yes, thank you. Charlie, I'll let you know as soon as we've got something."

"Thank you, Carlisle." Sighing, he rubbed his face as the medical team disappeared behind the elevator doors. "More waiting," he muttered. Looking at me, he asked, "Do you have any idea what all they've got to do before I know something?"

"Well, first…" I began, but was cut short by one _crazy_ fucking nurse trying to extricate Lily from my arms. "Um, hi, excuse me. Can I ask what the fuck you think you're doing?"

She gasped and looked taken aback at my language, but I honestly didn't give a flying fuck. "I'm just trying to place her on a stretcher so we can take her downstairs to have her examined, sir."

I tried to control my temper, but I really didn't like her fucking tone. "Look, lady, um, Nurse…Madison, I know you're just trying to do your job, but I haven't seen my daughter in over three weeks. There's no way in hell she's leaving my sight or arms, so I would appreciate if you could just point us in the right direction, and we'll be glad to go wherever you need us to so she can be examined."

She pursed her weathered lips at me and scoffed, but turned on her heel for the elevator, with Charlie following behind us. As we descended, Charlie brought me out of my glaring contest with Nurse Ratchett.

"So, er, Edward? About Bella?" he pled.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I got distracted. Alright, first they're going to take her downstairs and hook her up to an EKG. They need to get a read on her blood pressure, pulse, and they'll most likely attach her to a ventilator to keep her oxygen level up for now. I don't think there's anything wrong with her lungs, because she would have been much worse off in the woods if that were the case, but I can't make any promises without seeing a scan first.

"When they catheterize her, they'll test her urine for bacteria and cultures, and they'll draw blood from her IV and run that off to their lab. While they wait to get the results, they'll probably run a CT scan to check her for any internal bleeding, give her a head-to-toe checkover. By the time the scan's finished, they should have the results back. We'll have to go from there. "

The elevator landed, and we walked out, following the nurse. "What was that Carlisle was saying about sepsis? And that seizure that happened?"

I shook my head at him. "Charlie, we really won't know until we get some of the labwork back. The seizure could have been in reaction to her fever, any medication he's given her,-"

"He makes her take lots of medicine," Lily interrupted.

Widening my eyes at her, I asked her cautiously. "Do you know how much?"

She furrowed her little eyebrows. "I don't know, a lot. Every time he makes her make food for us. They're really tiny, and she said the red ones are bad, and expecially the black kinds. They make her sleepy and she forgets stuff. It gets her in trouble…" she trailed off, chin quivering and tears filling her eyes.

"Okay, ba-Lily. You don't have to talk about it anymore. Thank you for telling me. That helps a lot." I squeezed her tighter to me, trying to take away all the pain she had suffered.

Looking back at Charlie, he too had tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Lily. You really are a great helper," he rasped.

She gave him a watery grin. "That's what Bella calls me when I help her. Her big helper." Facing me, she told me, "I helped so much, Daddy. Bella said you're gonna be so proud of me to hear how much I helped. And how good I listened. I listened to Bella so good, Daddy. To everything she told me, even when it was hard."

"I want to hear all about it, princess," I smiled at her.

"I can't wait 'til Bella's better so we can go to Disneyworld. It's going to be so much fun! Bella's gonna carry me everywhere, she promised."

I snorted a little laugh out my nose. "Disneyworld? Who's going to Disneyworld?"

"We are, Daddy! Everybody! Bella let me plan my very own perfect day, and we're going to have her family and my family and we're all going to go and meet all the princesses. Daddy, Bella tried to say that Eric would think I'm Ariel 'cuz we're going to be so beautiful after Aunt Ali does our makeovers. You don't think he'll try to kiss me, do you?"

Charlie and I burst into hysterics as we entered the exam room. "I hope not, b-Lily, because I'd hate to have to punch a prince," I laughed.

She gasped. "Daddy! You can't punch Prince Eric!"

Placing her down on the bed, I sat beside her as Charlie found a chair in the corner.

"Do you mind if I stay in here, until the doctor gets in? I'll pace a hole in the floor if I don't stay distracted…" Charlie asked.

"Of course, Charlie. You're fine," I answered.

He bounced his knee nervously, running his knuckles over his moustache, staring off into space.

"Where's your uniform?"

Charlie shook out of his trance, cocking his head at her. "Huh?"

Lily studied him closely. "Your uniform. I thought police ossifers were supposed to wear a uniform."

His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. "How could you tell I was a police officer?"

She blinked her eyes innocently. "Bella told me. Bella told me all about you. Where is Bella?" she questioned looking around the room as my mother and Alice burst in.

"Nana! Aunt Ali!" she grinned.

My mother burst into tears at the sight of her, and nearly shoved me off the bed as she wrapped her up in her arms. Lily grinned at me over her shoulder, until my mother pulled back and Lily saw her face.

"Nana, what's a matter? Why are you sad? Don't you wanna see me?" she asked.

At this, my mother lost it all over again, sniffling into her handkerchief, trying to compose herself. "Of course I do. These are happy tears. I just missed you so much, baby."

I inhaled sharply at my mother's endearment, assessing Lily's reaction. Her smile dropped immediately, and she blinked several times at my mother, who stared back at her, perplexed.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?" my mom cried, frantic.

Lily burst into tears, sobbing, "I don't like to be called baby. I don't like that name! Don't call me that name! I want Bella! Where's Bella?!"

My mom's hand flew to her mouth as I tried to soothe Lily. "It's okay, sweetie-"

"That's what Bella calls me! I want Bella!" she wailed.

"Edward, I'm going to go find Jasper," Alice told me sadly, as she walked out the door and down the hall.

"Bella! Mommy! Mommy!" she screamed, stopping my heart in my chest.

"Edward, should I get a doctor?" my mother asked tearfully.

"I am a doctor, Mom," I sighed, exasperated. "Can everybody just give us a minute, please?"

Charlie answered. "Of course, Edward. I'll go see if I can get some information on Bella. Would you like to come with me, Esme? Carlisle's in there with her."

She nodded to him, and stroked Lily's face softly once, before leaving us. Lily was still crying out for Bella hysterically in my arms. I rocked us back and forth, shushing her softly, telling her I loved her over and over, until her cries slowly quieted down to whimpers.

"Are you okay, Lily?"

_Stupid question, Cullen. She is obviously far from fucking okay._

"Can I see Bella now, Daddy?" she whispered brokenly.

Tears fell down my face onto her hair as I answered her. "Not yet, Lily. As soon as she's stable, I'll take you to see her, but right now, we would just be in the way. And we still need to get you checked out, too. You're going to need to be all healthy to go to Disneyworld, right?"

She sniffled a bit before looking up at me. "So we'll really go? All of us? What are you going to do while we have our sleepover?"

"Sleepover?" I questioned.

"Yeah. No boys allowed. Just girls. Are you going to have a sleepover, too?" she asked innocently.

I wasn't sure what I was agreeing to, but I didn't want to upset her any further. "Yep, that sounds good." I looked up as a doctor came in, followed by another nurse wheeling in a machine.

"Mr. Cullen, Lily, my name is Dr. Robert Smith. You can just call me Dr. Bobby like everybody else does, okay?" he smiled at her kindly.

"'Kay," her muffled voice replied into my shirt.

"I understand you breathed in a little bit of smoke recently, is that right?" he inquired.

She nodded, sniffling a bit still.

"Well, my nurse here, Nurse Sam, has a fun game for you to play. We need for you to blow in this tube and try to move this little ball here. If you can get it all the way to the top, I'll give you a lollipop."

She turned to face him, her eyes fearful. "What happens if I can't?"

He exchanged glances with me briefly, before smiling at her again. "Nothing bad, my dear. We'll just need to give you a little oxygen to breathe in for a while. After you finish the breathing game, we're going to give you a little look-over to make sure you're A-ok."

She nodded hesitantly, letting the nurse bring over the machine, and blowing into it accordingly. I was relieved to see her pass easily, her lungs obviously clear, if not a bit irritated from however much smoke she had inhaled. As the nurse took the machine back down the hall, he walked up to her, rubbing his stethoscope in his hand to warm it.

"Well, Lily, this is kind of my heartbeat telephone, and I'm going to use it to listen to the heart inside your body for a minute."

"That's a stuffoscope. Are you sure you're a real doctor? My daddy's a real doctor. Maybe _he_ should look at me." She appraised him cautiously, worried over his lack of knowledge.

He stared at her incredulously, while I burst into laughter. _Oh my God, I missed the way she made me laugh._ He chuckled a bit, before grinning sheepishly.

"I can see I'm dealing with somebody who knows their stuff. I'm used to little girls who are scared of the doctor. I didn't know I was dealing with such a _big_ girl. Yes, I am a real doctor, and I'm going to use my stethoscope to listen to your heartbeat and your lungs. Is that alright with you?"

She nodded at him happily, more confident in his abilities now, while I sat chuckling behind her. She breathed in deeply for him, and looked at me when he was finished.

"Well, _Dr. _Cullen, Lily here sounds just fine. A special doctor's going to come in a moment to look you over some more, so if I don't see you again before you go home, it was very nice to meet you. Can I talk to your daddy outside for a moment, Miss Lily?"

"Can I go see Bella while you talk to him?"

Concern flashed across his eyes, but he masked it quickly, before smiling gently. "She's not quite ready for visitors yet, but I saw your grandmother waiting right outside. Would you like me to send her in?"

Disappointed, she muttered, "Okay."

I hated to leave her side, but I desperately needed to speak to the doctor not in her presence. We walked outside the door, where my mother sat waiting with Alice and Jasper, twisting her hands in her lap. When she saw me, she jumped up.

"Edward, I'm so sorry! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to call her that, and I never meant to upset her! Does she hate me? Can I see her? Should I apologize? I'm so-"

I placed my hands on her shoulders to calm her rant. "Mom, stop. It's fine. You didn't know. You couldn't have known. I didn't find out until right before we got here, so please just stop apologizing. She's already over it, so I wouldn't even mention it. Just stick to her name for now, until we can talk to her a little bit more. I'm not entirely sure yet why she reacted that way, but I don't want to upset her. She's got to be exhausted, so I'm sure that isn't helping. Can you go in and keep her company while I talk to Dr. Smith?"

"Of course, Edward." Alice and Jasper rose to follow her in, but I held him back.

"Hey man, don't start in with any of the therapy until I'm back, alright? I really don't want to upset her again," I pled.

He lifted his hands in supplication. "I would never dream of it, Edward. Uncle Jazzy's just going in to bounce his little cowgirl on his knee for a bit. I'm…I'm really glad I was wrong, Edward. The minute she saw you, I could tell. I could tell she knew exactly who you were, and how much she loved you."

"I have a feeling I have someone to thank for that. Get ready to hear all about Bella when you go in there. She pretty much starts all her sentences with her name. Alice may have some competition in the Lily's best friend department."

He smiled at me mysteriously. "I'm pretty sure Lily doesn't want Bella for a best friend." He clapped me on the shoulder and walked into the exam room, leaving me confused at his words.

I turned back to the doctor, eager to find out what was going on.

"Dr. Cullen-"

"Just Edward," I interrupted.

He smiled. "Alright, Edward. Call me Bob. I've got permission from Charlie Swan to discuss Bella's case with you, so would you rather be filled in on that, or discuss Lily first?"

"Um," I began, at a loss. I really wanted to hear about Bella's condition, but my daughter came first, always. But Lily was fine, whereas Bella wasn't even stable the last I saw her, so… "Could you give me a brief synopsis on Bella's condition first? Unless there's something you're specifically concerned about with Lily's examination you just performed?"

"No, no, not at all. Her exam was fine. I was going to explain to you a bit more what's coming next, and discuss the possibility of needing some blood drawn…"

"Why do you need to test her blood?"

He rubbed his neck roughly. "Maybe I should go ahead and explain Bella's situation first anyway. Her tox screen came back positive for the oxycodone hydrochloride. We wanted to test and make sure Lily didn't have any in her system as well. The levels found in Bella's blood were alarmingly high, which was the most likely culprit of her respiratory arrest. I was in the room when they brought her down to trauma, and when we catheterized her, there was blood in her urine, which alerted us to a UTI. After a sonogram was done, we determined that the infection had spread to her kidneys, probably over several days."

I broke in. "Lily mentioned that she'd been sick for days before we found them."

He nodded gravely. "She developed a serious case of pyelonephritis which had reached the point of urosepsis. When her kidneys stopped processing urine, the Oxycontin began to build up in her system, until her body couldn't take anymore."

"How bad are her kidneys now?"

He sighed heavily. "We won't know _for sure_ for a few days yet, but I _think_ they should be alright. I think we caught it in time for them to not have suffered permanent damage. We've got her started on the IV antibiotics, a couple of units of O-neg, and saline. Her CT scan didn't reveal any lung damage, but she does have a broken ankle that will require surgery. We're keeping her on the ventilator until she's stable enough for surgery, and after she's completed that, we'll try to take her off of it."

"Has she woken back up since arriving? She was only conscious for a few moments in the woods, and she was very confused and unable to speak obviously, with the breathing tube in," I questioned.

"Briefly, but we had to sedate her to place the arterial catheter. Her pain levels were sending her blood pressure through the roof, so we didn't have much choice. I left to come see Lily when they took Bella into the ICU for observation. If she stays stable, she should be in surgery within a few hours to fix her ankle, and hopefully awake by later tonight or tomorrow morning, but I don't how up to talking she'll be. They were gone for three weeks, correct?"

I nodded.

"Supposing that he has been drugging her the entire time, she will start to go through withdrawals soon, as we flush the remaining medication from her system. We'll wean her slowly to ease the symptoms, but only time will tell how bad her addiction is, and she may need some drug counseling in the future. She had some minor burns we've taken care of, and we redressed the gash in her right arm. It's going to be a painful recovery, but she should be able to go home in the next couple of weeks or so. She'll need to be released to some in-home care, as she'll have trouble getting around with four cracked ribs, and a broken ankle-"

"She's going to be staying with us. I'll take care of her," I blurted out, before I realized what I was saying. But it was the truth. I _had _to take care of her. I owed her that much, and Lily clearly needed her.

He raised his eyebrows at me, but nodded hesitantly. "If her fever stays down, and her body continues to respond to the antibiotics, she should pull through. Right now, it could go either way. They were fighting to keep her stable when they were moving her to ICU, so we should know within the next couple of hours how this is going to play out."

I mused over everything he was telling me. "I think I'd like to ask Lily first if she was given any medication. I don't want to cause her any unnecessary pain. You mentioned a special doctor?"

"They did a rape kit on Bella-"

All the air whooshed out of me as I fell back against the wall. _Please don't tell me this. I can't hear this. He's still alive somewhere, and I'll have to leave my little girl to go kill him._

He rushed to assure me. "It was negative! Negative! There was some suspicious bruising around her thighs, but to be honest, there's not much on her body that's _not_ bruised. The police still want to examine Lily, though."

"No. Absolutely not. I am not putting her through the trauma of a vaginal exam without just cause. I will have her speak with someone to answer questions about possible abuse, and we can go from there, but there is no way in hell I am going to let someone traumatize her like that if it can be avoided."

He narrowed his eyes on mine. "They were informed of her reaction in the forest. They're concerned."

"Welcome to the fucking club, then!" I yelled. "But nobody's touching her until she's spoken to someone! Her uncle's inside that room right now, and he's a psychologist. Let him talk to her first. Or send in your hospital psych consult. Send in the fucking cavalry or Oprah, I don't give a damn, but over my dead body is someone going to upset her like that again. If I never hear her cry again, it will be too soon."

"I understand your concern, Edward. We only want what's best for Lily. Someone from psych should be down in a moment. If you'd like to go back in with your daughter now, I think we've just about covered everything. Charlie and your father are upstairs in Bella's room. I'm on my way back up there now. Any messages to pass along?"

"Just let them know I'll be up there as soon as I can. I'm sorry, my nerves are shot, I-"

"Edward, you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm a father myself. It's been a few years since my kids were Lily's age, but you don't owe me any apologies. Get back inside to your daughter. You've been away from her long enough. For a lifetime."

I smiled at him gratefully, before nodding and walking back into the room. Lily was bouncing on Jasper's knee as he made ridiculous horse sounds, and she was giggling hysterically. The sound took me back to that day over three weeks ago, the last time I had heard her laugh that way. Bella had called her a giggle monster.

_My giggle monster's home safe now._

Behind me, the door opened to reveal an older woman, around my mother's age.

"Hello, Lily! My name is Ann. Can I come in and talk to you for a little while?" she asked cheerfully.

Jasper's smile fell as he assessed the woman, recognizing one of his own kind when he saw one. He slid Lily off his knee onto the exam bed, and locked eyes with me, before making a pointed glance at my mother. I nodded, and turned to her.

"Hey, Mom? Would you mind going with Alice down to the cafeteria and picking up something for Lily to eat? I'm sure she's hungry."

Lily's eyes widened in excitement. "Ooh, I am, Nana. I really want ice cream."

My mother smirked at her. "I don't think so, young lady. It's a bit early for ice cream. Why don't I go try to find you a muffin and some chocolate milk? We can talk about ice cream later."

Lily giggled again. "'Kay, Nana. It was worth a try."

My mom shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Always is. Still never going to work. I'll be back in a little while. I love you, Lily."

"Love you too, Nana!" she called as my mother and Alice made their way out the door.

I walked over to sit next to Lily, pulling her into my lap as Ann pulled up a chair next to the bed.

"So Lily. I'd like to talk to you for a little bit. I'm going to ask you some questions, and there's no right or wrong answer. You won't be in any trouble for anything you say, do you understand?"

She snuggled down a bit more into my lap. "I think so."

"So, let's start with an easy one. What's your name?"

"Lily Autumn Cullen," she replied, not missing a beat.

Ann nodded her head smiling. "Such a beautiful name. You've been away for a few days. Are you happy to be back with your daddy?"

"Of course. I knew my real daddy would find me. Bella promised he was looking for me. Can I see Bella?" she anxiously tried to stretch her head around to look out the window.

"Not just yet, Lily. The doctors are still with Bella right now. You said your _real_ daddy would find you. Do you want to tell me a little bit about the man you were with?" she asked cautiously.

"No."

"That's fine. Thank you for answering me. I do need to ask you some questions about what happened while you were there, though. Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I want Bella," she began to sound upset, and I was ready to kick this lady the fuck out.

"Alright, Lily," she soothed. "I don't want to make you upset. I'm just trying to find out if you've been hurt."

"He never hurt me. He always hurt Bella. I need to see if she's okay! Daddy, take me to Bella! Please!" she cried.

I began rocking her again. "Lily, it's okay. You just need to wait a little longer. I'll take you to Bella in a little while. It's okay. Shhh. Shhh."

"Okay," Jasper broke in. "I think she's done talking for right now. She answered what she was able to, and you're going to need to come back at a later time."

She looked affronted. "Sir, with all due respect, it's my duty to make sure she's not been injured and make sure she doesn't need to be exami-"

"No, lady," he interrupted. "With all due respect, it's your duty to protect her mind, and you're clearly upsetting her. She's obviously not in any pain, she told you she hasn't been hurt, and she's clearly not suffering from Stockholm. She's exhausted, and anything else you think you _need_ to ask her can wait. Got it?"

"Look, sir, I understand you're a concerned family member, but I seriously doubt you're qualified-,"

"Look, ma'am, I'll stop you right there before you embarrass yourself. Not only have I known this little girl since birth, but I have a PHD in psychology from Dartmouth, and I graduated top of my class. I've been practicing family therapy for two years, and while you might trump me in experience, I assure you I know what I'm talking about when it comes to this little girl. If you'd like to let me know what it is exactly you want from her, I think I'll take over the questions from here. That's not a suggestion." He glared at her in finality, as she pursed her lips at him, highly irritated.

"Fine," she snapped. "May I speak with you for a moment out in the hall?" She pushed her chair back abruptly, stomping out into the hallway like a child.

He rolled his eyes at me, before resting his hand on my shoulder. "I'll take care of this, Edward. You calm her down, and then we'll try to get this straightened out." He walked out of the room, and I watched through the window as they gestured wildly at each other in muffled voices. As they were arguing, another woman walked up to them I thought to reinforce Ann, but instead seemed to clearly be on Jasper's side. After a few moments, Ann stalked away, and the new woman and Jasper spoke together calmly for a little while, before Jasper nodded, and they entered the room together.

Lily was still sniffling into Snuffles' fur, and looked up at Jasper and the woman as they came in.

I was surprised she let Jasper speak first. "Lily, I'm sorry about that. Are you feeling any better now?"

"Is that lady going to come back? I don't like her."

The woman stifled a laugh, but didn't say anything.

Jasper answered, "No, Lily. She's not going to come back. This is my new friend Beth, and she's going to stay in the room while we talk some more, if that's okay with you?"

Lily glared at her. "Are you nice?"

Beth smiled at her. "I think so. I see you're holding a friend in your lap. I brought you a present, but you don't have to play with it if you don't want to…"

Lily sat up straighter, eager now. "A present? What kind of present?"

"A baby doll. Would you like to see her? Her name is Lily too."

Lily started bouncing in my lap. "Like me! Like me! I want her! Please!"

Beth grinned at her, holding it out. "Here you go, Lily. Do you like her? She's not quite as pretty as you."

"She's so pretty! She's new. The other dolly I played with was-" she cut off, looking up fearfully at me, then back at Beth.

Beth encouraged her. "It's okay, Lily. You don't have to worry about upsetting anyone. Nothing you say will make anyone mad at you. Go ahead and finish your sentence. _The other dolly you played with was_…"

Lily sank against me. "She was old. She wasn't very pretty," she whispered.

"Well, this dolly is yours to keep now. I'm glad you like her. Are her clothes okay?"

Lily nodded.

"So," Beth started. "Does your Lily doll have any owies she wants to tell me about?"

Lily stroked the doll thoughtfully. "She's a little bit hungry. And thirsty. Her throat is still kind of itchy. There was a fire."

"That must have been scary. Is she okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Her mommy got her out in time."

I kissed the top of her head. _Thank you, Bella._

Beth made some notes on her pad, and then looked back up at Lily. "When your daddy found you, and he was trying to help Bella, you got upset when he tried to touch her pants. Can I ask you why it would be bad if someone tried to touch there?" she asked, pointing towards the doll's crotch.

"Bella told me. Bella told me that nobody's ever supposed to touch there. That's private spots. She told me how to fight if somebody ever tried. He hurt her that night…" she trailed off, tears running down her face. They burned in my eyes as well, wondering what Bella had suffered, what Lily might have witnessed.

"That's alright, Lily. We don't need to talk about that right now. You're doing such a good job," Beth soothed. "Can I ask some more questions about your dolly?"

"Yeah," she answered timidly.

"Does your dolly ever have to take medicine?"

"I _hate_ medicine," Lily hissed.

I sucked in a sharp breath, squeezing Lily tighter against me. Jasper and Beth exchanged a brief glance, and she nodded to him, letting him take over.

"What's bad about medicine, Lily? If your dolly got sick, wouldn't she need medicine to get better?" he asked cautiously.

"No, my dolly never gets sick."

He nodded. "But her mommy? Does her mommy ever need medicine?"

She sniffled, shaking her head. "No. Not that kind. It made her sick, and sleepy, and it made her get in trouble, and forget stuff. I tried to pinch her to help, and she said I was her big helper. And then she couldn't eat sometimes, and I know she was hungry. And then, when she got really sick, he kept giving her medicine, but it wasn't making her better, and she couldn't waked up for a long time, and then he made her bleed…" she whimpered.

Beth made a slicing motion across her throat as she looked at Jasper, and he nodded, agreeing. "Alright, Lily. We don't need to talk about this anymore today. You did a really good job. Nana should be back with your muffin soon. And then we'll let you take a nap."

She began crying in earnest. "No! I can't sleep without Bella! She needs me! I help her! She has bad dreams, and she cries! And when I'm sad she sings to me, and she helps me make stories so I can be an Arthur like her, she promised she wouldn't leave me! Please let me see her!" She was hysterical, and Beth rose from her seat slowly.

"Okay, Lily. Let me go check and see how Bella's doing. I'll be back in a little while to let you know. But you have to calm down for me. I want to be able to tell Bella how good you've been while she was sleeping."

Lily stopped fussing immediately, nodding furiously. "Yes, yes, I'll be good, I promise," she vowed, still hiccoughing a bit.

"You take good care of that dolly for me, okay? I'll be back soon. Bye-bye for now, Lily." She walked out of the room and down the hall, leaving Jasper and I with Lily.

My mother, Alice, Rose, and Emmett came in after she left, with tear tracks on their faces, clearly having heard the previous exchange. Lily slid off my lap, and went to crawl into my mother's as she began to shovel her muffin into her little mouth. Jasper tapped me on the arm, jerking his head towards the hallway outside. I huffed out a deep breath.

"Lily, I'll be right back, okay? Will you be alright with Nana?"

"Myefth, Thathy," she mumbled through a mouthful of food. I kissed her on the forehead before following Jasper out into the hallway, Emmett tagging along. Cracking my neck from side to side, I waited for somebody to start.

"So how's she doing?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know," I sighed. "One second, she's fine, then the next, something sets her off, and she loses it. I don't know what to say to her, and if I have to deal with one more asshole today, I'm gonna fucking scream. By the way, Emmett, don't call her Baby. It sets her off for some reason, and make sure you let Rose know."

He nodded as Jasper began to speak.

"Edward, that's normal for Lily's moods to fluctuate. She's exhausted, overwhelmed, and probably in a bit of shock. We're going to have to be on the lookout for PTSD, because she's suffered real trauma, even if she was lucky enough to not be physically injured. It could take months, if not years of therapy to find out exactly what she's witnessed. But that's not the only issue we've got right now."

"What are you most concerned about?" I questioned.

"Her attachment to Bella."

"Do you think it's bad?"

He shook his head quickly. "No, no, and it's to be expected. In cases of Stockholm syndrome, it would be cause for concern, because being around the other person would bring back the memories, but Lily clearly isn't suffering from any delusions of where she was or who she was with. She carries no delusions of grandeur regarding Ja-"

"Do not fucking say his name in my presence," I hissed.

"Sorry. I just meant to say she seems to have a good grasp that what he was doing was wrong."

I nodded, thinking it over. "It sounds like Bella talked to her a lot about her real life. Lily mentioned she knew everything about Charlie, and they apparently planned out a perfect day together for Lily to do once they were out of there. It sounds like we're going to Disneyworld, and she said a lot of other stuff I didn't quite understand. Something about stories, and Bella and Lily must have discussed our family at some point, because Lily said she knew I was looking for her because Bella told her so. And you heard what she said about fighting and private spots on her body," I told him.

"Wait, what?" Emmett interrupted. "What about fighting and private spots? Did that motherfucker hurt her? I swear to God, I know he's somewhere in this hospital, we can rip him to pieces and burn his body out in the woods, and nobody will fucking know…"

I held my hands up to him, trying to calm him down. "Shh, man. Lower your voice. No, he didn't fucking touch her, because if he had, he'd already be dead. Lily said Bella taught her how to fight off anybody who ever tried to touch her. I'm not sure what happened to Bella for her to tell her that, Lily got upset and couldn't finish talking about it, but I spoke with one of the doctors that treated Bella, and they did a rape kit on her that came back negative. So that's something, at least."

Jasper smiled sadly. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm not concerned with Bella being a _bad_ influence on Lily, just that Bella has become Lily's security blanket, for lack of a better term, and to separate them suddenly might be detrimental to her own recovery."

I shuffled on my feet nervously. "I, uh, I kind of volunteered to take care of her once she's home from the hospital. I haven't even talked to Charlie, and Renee's not even in from Florida yet, but when I was speaking to Dr. Smith earlier, it just kind of came out of my mouth before I could stop it. He said she's going to need some in-home care for a while, and I've got at least another month left on leave from the hospital, so I just kind of figured…" I trailed off at Emmett's devilish grin.

"What?"

"You volunteering for sponge baths, Eddie? Sounds like somebody's a little eager to play dirty doctor with our fair Bella." He waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively, and Jasper and I both smacked him in the back of the head, as Rose popped her head out of the room.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen! I know that look on your face anywhere. Whatever your dirty mouth is spouting off, you better shut it right now." She was back inside the room before we could blink, and Emmett's face was pale as he looked back at us.

"She's like some kind of devil woman, I swear. How she always knows…." He whispered, shaking his head.

I rolled my eyes at him. "So Jazz, do you think that will be good then? To have her in the house with us?"

He smiled at me. "Yeah, man, I think that'll be great. We should get back into them now."

We walked back into the room together, and Lily was yawning on my mom's lap.

"Lily, do you want to lie down and take a nap?" I asked.

She shook her head with a scowl on her face. "No way. I am _not_ going to take a nap until I know how Bella is. Will _you_ go check on her, Daddy? Please? I'll wait here and be good, I promise, just go make sure she's okay. That other lady's taking too long." She turned her pouty face on me, complete with the Bambi eyes.

_Can. Not. Resist. Pouty face._

Pretty fucking tired myself, I agreed. "Okay, Lily. I'll go check on Bella, and when I come back, you and I are going to take a nap. Deal?"

Her whole face lit up, and she thrust her pinky out to me. "Yes, yes! Thank you, Daddy! I promise!"

I latched onto her pinky and gave it a kiss, and she gasped.

"What? What is it?" I asked, frantic, afraid I had just done something to set her off again.

She grinned at me. "That's what Bella does, too! How'd you know?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. I guess she's just cool like me."

"She's so cool, Daddy!" she bounced on top of my mother's legs, sliding off in her excitement.

"Oops!" she giggled. "Oh, Daddy, come here." Motioning me down to her, I knelt beside her, questioning her with my eyes.

She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Tell Bella I love her, Daddy. Even if she's sleeping, it'll make her feel better. It always does."

Blinking back tears, I nodded, kissing her cheek before rising. "I'll be back in just a little bit, Lily. You be good for everybody, okay? I love you."

"Love you too, Daddy!" she called out behind me.

Following the signs on the wall, I made my way upstairs to the ICU. I tried calling my father's cell and Charlie's, but they both went straight to voicemail. Once there, I realized I had no idea where to go, so I tried the nurse at the front desk just outside the entryway doors.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Isabella Swan's room? I'm a…friend of the family."

She looked me up and down. "Family only."

"Well then, could you call her room, please? Her dad has his cell off, and if you just ask him, I'm sure he'll give me permission to come back," I pled.

"It's hospital policy, sir."

"Does it mean anything that I'm a doctor, then? I was given permission by her father and Dr. Smith to have access to her status, and I have a very tired little girl waiting anxiously downstairs to hear how her friend is doing. So how about you either call the room, or get me the doctor in charge? Now."

She rolled her eyes at me, but punched a few buttons on her phone. She huffed as it rang, and answered in a falsely cheerful voice. "Hello, Mr. Swan? I have a gentleman here who is _demanding_ to be let into Ms. Swan's room…No, let me find out for you…What is your name, _sir_?" she hissed snidely.

Narrowing my eyes at her, I answered. "Edward Cullen."

"Yes, Mr. Swan, he says his name is Edwa-…Well, sir, we have a very strict hosp-….No sir, that won't be…Yes sir, I'll send him right back…Yes sir, I understand…Goodbye." She hung up, flustered, looking up at me with wide eyes. She cleared her throat nervously.

"It would appear they are making a special exception for this case, Mr. Cullen. I apologize for delaying you. I'll buzz you right through the doors. Room 416." She hit the button, and the doors opened, as she avoided all eye contact with me.

_Man, I love Charlie. You don't fuck with Chief Swan._

"Thanks," I snarled condescendingly at her, and breezed through, locating Bella's room quickly in the unit. My dad and Charlie were in the room, and Carlisle stood upon me entering the room.

"Edward, hi! Sorry about that nurse, she gave me a bit of a hard time too, at first. How is Lily?" he asked me.

I smiled weakly. "Good, tired, but good. Just, uh, don't call her Baby."

He quirked his eyebrows at me, but nodded slowly. "Alright. I'd like to go downstairs and say hi to her, if you don't mind, Charlie."

He shook his head, frowning. "No, no, go Carlisle. I'm sorry I kept you holed up here. I didn't mean to, I'm just so worked up trying to figure out what all's wrong with her. I'd feel better if she'd just wake up, you know?"

Dad smiled gently at him. "She won't be waking up until after the surgery, Charlie. She's doing remarkably well, given the circumstances, and she's responding well to the antibiotics and fluid. The next few days will be hard, but she's here with you now, Charlie, and she's safe. We've got nothing but time." He patted his shoulder kindly, before walking out of the ICU, towards the elevators and Lily.

I turned to face Charlie, who looked like he was in desperate need of a cup of coffee. "How's she doing?"

"Stable, they say. I understand the doctor found you and filled you in on all the medical stuff?"

I nodded.

"Good, 'cause I don't think I could explain it right. Your dad was barely able to dumb it down for me enough so I could get the gist of it. One of her doctors stopped by a few minutes ago. You just missed him. Oh, and uh, thank you for offering to take care of her once she's out of here…" he mumbled.

My ears got pink, as I rushed to apologize. "Charlie, I'm so sorry. I never meant to make that kind of decision for you without even discussing it with you first, the doctor was just saying how she was going to need some in-home care, and I just want to do _something_ to help her, after everything she's done for Lily, and…"

He lifted his hand, halting me, chuckling a bit. "Edward, it's fine. I really meant what I said. Thank you. Saves me from having to ask you or your dad anyway. She wouldn't want to be stuck with me, and I'd feel so much better having an actual doctor look after her once she's out of this place. You saved her life out in those woods, and I'll never forget that. I didn't get the chance to thank you for that earlier, but…Thank you, Edward. I don't know what I would have done if I'd…she's just…." he broke off, choking up a bit, rubbing his hand over his mouth.

Recovering himself, he switched gears. "I'm just going to go give Renee a call, if you don't mind waiting here with her for a moment. I can't use my phone in here, and I don't want her to be alone…"

"No, no, please, go. It's no problem. I'll wait here until you get back. My family's downstairs keeping Lily company, and she's fine with them."

"Thanks, Edward."

"Thank you, Charlie."

He strode out of the room, with one last longing glance in Bella's direction, and I knew he wouldn't be gone long. Once I was alone, I picked up Bella's chart off the end of her bed, checking over her stats. Glancing over the monitors, I was happy to see her blood pressure had leveled out, and she was no longer hypotensive. IVs and a unit of blood hung by the bed, working their way through her catheters, flushing her body of all the infection. Her fever was still a bit high, but within a safe range.

I couldn't help my hand as it reached out to brush a stray lock of hair off of her cheek. She looked so frail, so much tinier than I remembered her. Running my thumb along her protruding cheekbone, I glanced back down at her chart to find her weight. _93. Too thin. Much too thin. _

_What had he done to her?_

I sank into a chair beside her bed, as my emotions caught up with me. My Lily was downstairs, and she was whole and healthy. But Bella lay here before me, fighting a deadly infection, starved, and beaten. Everything Lily had told me of her time with Bella flooded my mind, and the enormity of what Bella had done for my daughter overwhelmed me. What she had ultimately done for me.

I began to speak the words I knew she couldn't hear, but I had to tell her. As I grasped her hand gently in my own, my tears began to fall.

"_Thank you. _Thank you so much. Thank you for keeping her safe when I couldn't. Thank you for risking yourself to free her from _him_. Thank you for everything you did for her that I'll never be able to understand. And thank you_, thank you, __**thank you**__,_ for not letting her forget me. She's my everything, and when you saved her from _him_, you saved me, too.

"You're so much stronger than I could ever be, and no matter what I do for the rest of my life, I'll never be able to repay you for what you've done for us. I won't rest until you're healed. We'll take care of you; I'll take care of you.

"I'm so afraid you're going to wake up, and not want anything to do with us. That you're going to want to get as far away from us as possible to avoid all the memories you must have of that place. But I hope that you don't. I'll beg on my knees if I have to, but we _need_ you, Bella. Lily needs you. You should hear her," I laughed brokenly.

"You're all she talks about. Everything you've ever said is complete gold. Her whole face lights up when she says your name. You're her hero…and you're mine, too.

"I'm going to go back down to her soon, and she's dying to see you. She made me promise to tell you she loves you. And after you come back from surgery, we're going to be here, waiting for you to wake up. She's perfect by the way. Not a scratch on her, and that's all due to you.

"You've returned her to me, but I know what she went through has changed her. And you know that part of her, that part that no one else can understand. You've got to get better for us, Bella. You've got to fight. You've come too far, and lived through too much to give up now. _Please_ fight. Just once more, and I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to take care of you for the rest of your life, for as long as you'll let me. I owe you everything, Bella."

I kissed her hand softly, squeezing it once more gently before releasing it. Gazing at her face again, I was fascinated by the way her beauty still shined through all the bruises. I heard a cough behind me, and jumped up and around to see Charlie hovering awkwardly in the doorway. I wasn't sure how long he had been there, but he was kind enough not to call attention to it.

"Thanks, Edward. I couldn't get a hold of Renee, her plane must still be up in the air. I grabbed a quick cup of coffee and a bite to eat down in the cafeteria. I know you must be anxious to get back down to Lily, so…"

I nodded. "I am, thanks, Charlie. Come find us later, once she's been taken back for surgery. No need to wait alone. You know where I'll be."

"I'll do that. See you later, Edward."

"See ya, Charlie." I walked past him, out of the ICU, tapping my foot anxiously as I waited for the elevator. With nothing to distract me, I now found it very hard to be away from Lily. Once I made my way down, I all but sprinted back to the room, where Lily was bouncing nervously on the bed, yawning.

"Daddy! How's Bella?"

I cradled her into my arms as I settled onto the bed beside her. "She's doing well, Lily. They're giving her medicine right now, the _good_ kind, that's going to make her better. In a little while, they're going to take her to fix her ankle, and once they do that, she should wake up a few hours later."

"Can I see her when she wakes up?" she yawned.

"Yeah, Lily. But only if you get some sleep now, okay?"

"'Mkay, Daddy. Did you tell her?" she mumbled sleepily.

I kissed the top of her head, and closed my eyes, as everyone filed out to give us some quiet time. "I did, princess. And you were right. It did make her feel better. Please try and rest your eyes for me?"

I heard her soft snores below me, and a quick glance down revealed an already sleeping Lily. Shifting her onto my chest, I pulled a blanket up over us, and drifted off to sleep, the first moment's rest I had had since she was taken. We had such a long road ahead of us, but she was here in my arms, and everything would be okay. _ Eventually._

*

**A/N: Just so you know, we have a lot of story left, probably at least another 10-14 chapters. I'll be covering the recovery and Bella getting to know the Cullens, so this is NOT the last chapter. I hope everyone was happy with the reunion, and I did my best with all the medical stuff, but I have NO medical knowledge of my own or any kind of experience or expertise, so I relied heavily on Internet research and my good friend Nikki. **

**Leave me your love in a review!**


	17. Chapter 17 Wake Up

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N: First off, I'm a little bit of an ass for not thanking EBT last chapter for beta'ing two chapters in one week for me, one of which was over 12,000 words! And that's after she was nice enough to write up an awesome review for me on the Fictionators. 'Cause it's not like she's busy with her own kids or stories or anything like that. So boo to me, thanks to her.**

**Special thanks to D Pattinson for her medical knowledge of this chapter. She saved me from some embarrassing mistakes. Thanks lady.**

**You guys rock me with your reviews! You've pushed us over 2600 and that's just incredible. Thank you so much. I'm asking for your patience and kindness these next few chapters, because I'm basically switching genres mid-story, and it's a big transition. Give me time to switch gears and get into the swing of things, and I really hope you won't be disappointed.**

Chapter 17: Wake Up

EPOV

I awoke with a start, trying to gather my surroundings. Looking around where I lay, I realized I wasn't in my bed at my parent's house. I felt a small weight on my chest, and I clenched my eyes shut quickly, terrified to look down.

_Please, please if there's any kind of God anywhere, don't let it have been a dream._

Opening them slowly, I looked down, and saw my sleeping angel drooling onto my chest. Sobs broke through me as I realized finally that this was _real._ She was here in my arms, where she belonged, and she was safe. _Alive_. I tried to swallow my cries to keep from waking her, but my chest heaving beneath her made her start to come to.

"Bella? Is it time? I didn't hear him…" she mumbled tiredly.

_She thinks she's back __**there**__. Oh my God, what is she going to do when she wakes up and sees me instead of Bella?_

"I love you, Bella." She snuggled closer to my chest, and I tightened my arms around her, as I tried to decide the best way to wake her. Looking out the window, I could see Jasper standing outside in the hallway with Charlie and the rest of my family. I tried to wave at him to get his attention, but he was engrossed in a conversation with Alice.

"Lily," I whispered.

"Mmmm, I miss real daddy," she slurred, causing new tears to fall down my face.

Speaking a bit louder, I tried to shake her gently. "Lily, wake up, b-princess."

"Hmm, Bella?" She lifted her face up, blinking several times to clear her vision, gasping when she registered my face staring anxiously down at her.

Jumping off of me in a flash, she grinned widely at me. "Daddy! I thought I was having a dream! But it wasn't! It really happened! Is Bella awake yet? Can I go see her?" She bounced beside me, and noticed Charlie out in the hall.

"Bella's daddy! He'll know! Hey! C'mere!"

Everyone came pouring into the room as they heard Lily's voice, but she only had eyes for Charlie. "Where's Bella, Bella's Daddy?"

He smiled at her warmly. "She's in surgery right now so they can fix her foot. When she's out of there, I'll let you go up and see her, alright Miss Lily? And you can call me Charlie if you want to."

"Can I call you Papaw Charlie? You're old like my Papaw Carlisle, and you can love me if you want to. Bella does."

He looked nervously to my father, who grinned in return, nodding.

"Cullen for life," Alice sing-songed at him playfully.

Charlie walked over to Lily and patted her on the shoulder. "Sure, kid, you can call me whatever you want. But I'll have you know that your Papaw Carlisle is _way_ older than I am."

"Hey!" my dad shouted indignantly, as Emmett guffawed loudly into Rose's hair.

Lily studied Charlie curiously. "Are you sure? 'Cause you _look_ really old."

My entire family laughed loudly at that, and Charlie blushed lightly. "Bella calls it distinguished."

Lily's eyes widened. "Then that's what I'll call it, too. What stingished mean?"

Not missing a beat, he replied. "Ruggedly handsome."

Lily nodded seriously at him, taking in every word, as my family tried to hold in their laughs in the background. A knock at the door brought our attention to the detectives before us, gazing at Lily in wonder. She tensed at their arrival, clutching my shirt tightly in her little fingers.

"Who are they, Daddy?" she whispered fearfully.

"Those are the policemen that helped me find you, Lilybug. They're okay," I reassured in her ear.

"Hello, Little Miss Cullen. We're very happy to meet you," Marcus greeted her.

"My name's John, and this is my partner, Mark. We are so glad to see you back safe with your daddy," Jonathan beamed at her.

She relaxed at their introductions, smiling shyly in return. "Hi."

"We can't stay long. We have some business to attend to, but we wanted to get to meet you and see you with our own eyes. How's Bella doing, Charlie?"

Charlie gave Lily a sideways glance before smiling at the detectives, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Very good, just fixing her foot now. I was just on my way to get a cup of coffee with Edward, I can fill you in on the way, if you'd like?"

The detectives caught on quickly, and nodded to him, as I scrambled off the bed, eager to find out what _business _they were here to attend to. I had a pretty good guess, but I didn't want to be right.

"Do you want anything, Lilybug?"

"Hot chocolate, Daddy," she answered sweetly.

"And get Bella some flowers!" she called as I was almost out the door.

Sticking my head back around the corner, I smiled softly at her. "Honey, she can't have flowers in her room until she's out of the special unit she's in. I promise as soon as she's in a regular room, we'll get her the biggest bunch of roses we can find."

"Ew, Daddy. Bella hates roses. I do, too. Her favorite flowers is lilies, so we have to get lots and lots of those kinds. And they have to be pink and blue. We're the princesses of pink and blue. Well, I'm pink, and she's blue, and I guess we could get yellow ones for the bunnies, but do you think we need to get yellow ones, Daddy? Because maybe we just need pink and blue, and-"

"Lily." I stopped her, partly because she had lost me at princesses, and partly because I wasn't sure whether or not Bella even liked lilies, or she had just told Lily that because of her name. "We've got time, okay, honey? It's going to be a few days before she's in a regular room, alright? I'll be back in a little bit with your hot chocolate. It's past lunchtime now. Do you want me to try and find you something to eat?"

"Ice cream?" she tried, hopefully.

I smirked back at her. "How about a sandwich first? Then we'll talk ice cream."

She grinned sheepishly at me. "'Kay. 'Bye, Daddy!"

"No 'byes, Lily. Just see you laters." I winked at her, and closed the door behind me as the four of us began walking down the hall together.

"So Charlie, how is Bella doing, really? We heard things got pretty serious out in the woods. When we got the call in that they'd been found out in those woods, I could have kicked myself for wasting time camped outside a trashy apartment…" Marcus began.

Charlie cut him off. "You were following procedure, I understand. I'm just glad we got there in time. But you're not here just to check on them, are you?"

Jonathan gave a deep sigh. "No, we're not."

"Is it true what Emmett said? Is he really here, in this hospital?" I asked, shocked.

Jonathan nodded. "Yeah."

I ran my hand through my hair so roughly that it almost hurt, but that was better than the sickening feeling crawling over my skin at the thought of _him_ being so close to my little girl.

"Where is he? Is there some sort of guard? What's being done to make sure he can't come near them?" I sputtered.

Marcus tried to calm me down, as Charlie stared at the wall behind his head, stoic and silent. "Yes, Edward. There are two Port Angeles police officers stationed outside his room. He's handcuffed to the bed as well, but from what I understand, neither are hardly necessary."

That snapped Charlie out of his haze. "Excuse me? How the hell do you figure those kinds of precautions aren't necessary? You want to know how Bella is? She _died_ for a minute out in those woods. Because of what that son of a bitch did to her. Where the hell do you get off-"

Jonathan shook his head furiously at Charlie, who was turning redder by the second. "No, Charlie! What Marcus meant was that James is in no condition to be trying any escapes. Has anyone spoken to either of you about his condition?"

Charlie and I shook our heads simultaneously.

"We were a little more concerned with our daughters," I replied.

"Damn straight," Charlie snapped.

"Why don't we take a walk upstairs?" Marcus suggested.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, wishing they'd just tell us what the fuck already, but clenched my fist and nodded, following them to the elevators. We rode up in stiff silence, Charlie tapping his foot agitated on the tile floor of the elevator. The lift dinged on the fourth floor, and I saw Charlie's jaw clench as we headed for the same intensive care unit Bella had been hours before.

We made our way through the glass doors, and turned a corner to see two cops standing outside a room at the end of the hall. As we drew nearer, my breath started to quicken, and I felt my body start to shake in anger, disgust, and hatred.

"We can't let either of you in there, and if you tell anyone we let you up here, we'll deny it on our mothers' graves, but you deserve to get to see for yourself that he can't hurt you or your girls ever again."

I furrowed my brows at Jonathan, but he was staring intently through the window into _his _room. Turning my head to look upon the monster, I had to fight a smile from breaking across my face at the sight of him.

_This is not even __**close**__ to what he deserves, but I'll take it._

He was attached to an EEG monitor that clearly showed no signs of brain activity. His face looked like that of a mummy, hidden by gauze and bandages. He was breathing through a ventilation machine, and his EKG displayed a weak heartbeat at best.

Charlie was studying him curiously, moving his eyes over _his_ body slowly, from head to toe and back again. His face, too, looked to be concealing a sense of satisfaction at _his_ current state.

"His lungs were badly damaged in the cabin fire. His face and neck have third degree burns, and his chest suffered second degree burns. We aren't sure exactly how those happened, because the skin isn't charred like it was burned in a fire. We'll be waiting to talk to Bella once she's awake, to try to get a better idea of what happened in the cabin."

"The hell you are," Charlie glared at Jonathan. "She'll talk when she's ready, not fresh out of surgery, on the same day she almost _died_."

"Wait," I interrupted. "Burns don't cause all this." I waved my hand at _him_. "What happened to him?"

_I hope it was painful._

Marcus cut in. "He was apprehended in his van after he ran off the road over on Edgewood. When he was first approached by police, he was mumbling incoherently, but when they tried to open the door to arrest him, he pulled a gun on them and tried to run. He was shooting at them, and they took him down. He went into arrest on the scene, and it took over twenty minutes to resuscitate him. He slipped into a coma. They have a neurologist coming in soon to take a look, but it's not looking like he's going to wake up. The first round of doctors have reached the conclusion that the brain damage is irreversible."

"So what then? He just gets pulled off life support, and drifts away peacefully in his sleep?!" I fumed.

"Lily and Bella won't have to go through a trial," Charlie said softly behind me.

"Huh?" I questioned stupidly.

Charlie looked at me, his eyes shining. "I'd like nothing more for that man in there to outlive us all, locked up and tortured the same way he hurt my little girl for the rest of his days. But if he's gone they won't have to go through a trial. Lily and Bella won't have to talk about their experiences over and over, they won't have to defend themselves against some sleazy defense lawyer. And I'm realistic, Edward. Even if he recovered and stood trial, he'd never be found guilty. The man's criminally insane."

"It just doesn't seem like it's enough. Dying is easy," I rasped.

"Nothing ever could be enough for him. Dying may be an easy out for him, but he'll never get the chance to live like our girls do. And they can do that without ever having to worry about him ever again. We can move on from here, and never give him another thought," he whispered, as emotional as I'd ever seen him.

I gripped my hair roughly, losing my grip on the emotions running through me, and punched the wall angrily behind us. Charlie grabbed me by the shoulders, and surprised me by pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I choked into his shirt.

"Don't, son," he croaked. "I know exactly how you feel. I'm barely keeping it together here, too. Because right now I want nothing more than to walk in there and yank his plug, I promise you."

I tightened my arms around his shoulders, feeling enormously selfish in that moment. His daughter had almost died saving mine, and he was helping _me_ hold it together.

_Time to man the fuck up, Cullen._

I patted him twice on the back to try and retain some masculinity, and he did the same. We broke apart, and looked awkwardly at the floor.

_I don't think we'll be mentioning this moment again, so let's deflect._

"Charlie, let's go down and see if we can find out some more info on Bella. Maybe there's an observation area or something. I could fill you in on what they're doing to repair her ankle."

He looked immensely relieved, either for the chance to see his daughter, or to get away from _him_, but either one worked. "Yes. Thank you, Edward. I really appreciate that. Don't we need to get some food for Lily, though?"

"I'll call and have somebody else in my family pick it up for her. Let's go do this." Turning back to the detectives, they had excused themselves from our private moment, and were discussing something quietly with each other.

"You won't be needing anything else from us, then?" I asked them.

Marcus shrugged. "We'd like to know about what happened at the cabin, but that's our own morbid curiosity at work. We've got to go down to their morgue, but we shouldn't need anything else from you. Let's hope we never meet again," he smiled weakly.

"The morgue?" Charlie questioned.

Jonathan lifted up a manila envelope. "Dental records for Victoria Sesen. It's going to be the only way to identify the bodies found in that freezer. We need to know if we're dealing with another missing persons case, or if that's really them."

I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat, remembering the image of those bodies. Had it really only been this morning? Had so little time passed?

_Christ, this has been a long day._

I shook my head to clear it from the memories of those figures in the freezer, and nodded blankly to the detectives, sparing one last look upon _him._ Charlie was right. We were walking away with the rest of our lives, and _he_ would cease to exist from this moment on to us.

_I hear hell is hot, fucker. Burn forever._

Charlie and I waved good-bye to the detectives, and headed back towards the elevator to go down one floor to the OR. As we descended, I could see Charlie shaking slightly.

"Charlie?" I questioned cautiously.

His eyes met mine in a wild, fierce, stare. "If I'd known he was there, that whole time, I would have…those bodies….it could have been _them…_"

I shook my head, trying to calm him and stop his train of thought. "But they weren't. Bella's downstairs, and we're going to go see her right now. She's going to be fine, Charlie. They both are. Just don't let yourself go there."

He closed his eyes for a second, his nostrils flaring as he composed himself. When the elevator dinged, he opened his eyes, and the fire there had dimmed, to be replaced with worry. "Let's go find Bella."

"Alright. Let me just call my mom really quick."

Flipping open my phone, I hit the speed dial to call her.

"_Hello? Edward?"_

"Hey, Mom. I'm going with Charlie to check on Bella. Will you have somebody get Lily her sandwich and hot chocolate? We might be a little while."

"_Oh, that's fine, dear. Take your time, she fell back asleep about two minutes after you walked out the door. She'll be glad to hear more about Bella when she wakes up, anyway. I'll send someone down to get her something to eat. Oh, and let Charlie know Renee and Phil are on their way. She tried to call him, but I think his phone is still off. They just landed at Fairchild and they'll be here soon."_

"Okay, Mom, I'll let him know. Thanks. And call me if she wakes up and she's upset or needs anything, okay?" I wanted to be here for Charlie, but I was still extremely anxious to be away from my own daughter.

"_She'll be fine, Edward. Don't worry. We'll see you soon."_

I disconnected the call, and glanced at Charlie. "Renee and Phil just landed. They're on their way and should be here soon. Mom said she tried to call, but your phone's still off."

"Oh, damn." Pulling it out of his pocket, he powered it up quickly. "I totally forgot about it after they took her down. So where do we go from here?"

"Let's start with the reception desk, they might be able to send us back if there's an observation area."

He nodded, falling into step behind me. "Lead the way."

We walked up to the front desk, and I eyed the nurse behind it warily. She looked nice enough, around Charlie's age. _But so far not finding a great track record with the staff in this place._ "Hi, excuse me, Nurse…Clearwater? We were wondering if it was possible for family to observe during surgery."

She gave me a warm smile. _Oh thank God. _"It depends on the OR, hon. What's the patient's name?"

"Isabella Swan, OR 4," Charlie spoke up from behind me.

She typed something into her computer, and then glanced back up at us, keeping her eyes on Charlie as she spoke. "I'll need some ID, gentlemen. That room does have an observation glass."

Charlie fished his wallet out of his pocket quickly, but I hesitated, unsure if it would matter. He looked at me quizzically, before comprehension dawned. "Excuse me, ma'am, but this man with me here is my daughter's…doctor, and I'd appreciate him being allowed to accompany me back there, so he can explain what I'm seeing."

She bit her lip, looking at Charlie through her eyelashes. _Is she flirting with him? _Leaning in closer towards him, she whispered, "Are you sure he's not her…cousin, possibly? Because I'm sure that would be alright."

I bit my cheek to hold in my grin, and handed over my driver's license as Charlie did the same. "Third cousin, twice removed, actually."

She winked at him. "Works for me, sugar. I'll make a copy of these and be right back, gentlemen." She walked around the corner, and I turned to Charlie who had a smile on his face as well, his cheeks a bit pink. He was still staring where she had just disappeared, and I elbowed him, eyeing him with my mouth agape.

"What?" He averted my eyes, coughing slightly.

I snorted. "_What_? Are you kidding me? I should be asking _you_ that."

He scowled at the ground. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Smirking at him, I played along. "That nurse is kind of cute. I was thinking about asking for her number. Do you think she'd give it to me?"

Glaring at me, he answered, "No, I do not think she would do that. And I wouldn't call a _woman_ 'cute'." He was cut short by the nurse returning around the corner with our licenses.

She smiled at Charlie, and handed them back to him. I glanced at her left hand blatantly, nudging Charlie and smirking. He blushed furiously, muttering a quick "thank you" to the nurse, and then scurried through the doors.

Once they shut behind us, Charlie popped the back of my head.

"OW!"

"Yeah, well, if you're gonna act like Emmett, don't complain when you get treated like him. What were you playing at back there?"

"I was just noticing that the nurse was kind of cute, and obviously not married. And she was flirting with you."

"I told you before, you don't call a _woman_- wait, what? She wasn't…You think she was flirting with me?" He stopped in his tracks, and looked back towards the closed doors in disbelief.

Laughing openly at him, I pulled him down the hallway by his sleeve. "Come on, Charlie. Bella's going to be in the hospital for a few more days. You'll have your chance to run into Nurse Clearwater again."

He gave me a pained look. "I'm not the type to be picking up women while my daughter's fighting for her life in a hospital bed."

I stopped laughing immediately. "Charlie, I know that. Everyone knows Bella is your top priority. But there's nothing wrong with having someone to talk to while you're stuck here, waiting for her to get better. She's _going_ to get better, Charlie." I looked him straight in the eye as I spoke, willing him to believe my words.

"Here we are." I opened the door next to OR 4, and we walked inside the small area. Facing the glass window to our left, Charlie exhaled a relieved breath upon seeing his daughter again.

"God, that looks awful," he grimaced.

My eyes swept over Bella, and my own face twisted in response to the sight of her.

"I thought they were just going to give her a cast like they always have?" he questioned me.

"Normally, they would. But that break didn't happen in the woods, it occurred before. There's no way to know exactly when until we can ask Bella, but it had already started to set in the malaligned position. They're going to adjust it slowly with that external fixator so they can monitor her healing. They'll cast it before she leaves the hospital, but that's going to be a little while."

"How long do you think she'll be here?"

I shrugged. "I can't say for sure. She'll be in SICU after she leaves here until she wakes up, and then they'll probably take her back to the ICU. That's how it works at my hospital, anyway, but this place might be a little different."

His eyes never left her. "How long will she have to be in the ICU? I hate that place…"

"She needs to stay in there until the sepsis has cleared. From what I gathered earlier when I was speaking with Dr. Smith, and her charts, we caught it in time for there to be no permanent damage to her internal organs. It will take a few days, but she'll be out of there before you know it," I assured him.

He sighed heavily, watching the surgeons intently. "She looks so _small_," he whispered.

Gazing over her tiny figure, I had to agree. "I'm not sure what her weight was before she was taken, but she's currently at 93 pounds. When I first met her…that day…I'd have to guess she's dropped at least twenty pounds since then. But she'll gain it back, Charlie. It's just going to take some time."

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "I don't mean skinny, although I can see that he must have starved her. I mean she looks so _little_ to me, like if I touch her, she'll break."

"She's so strong, though, Charlie. She won't break on you."

We continued to watch the surgeons work in silence, until my phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw Jasper's text.

_Lily's up, asking for you._

"Hey, Charlie. That was Jasper. He said Lily's awake. Do you want to come with? Or you can stay if you want…"

Breaking his gaze from Bella, he turned to me. "No, let's go see my new granddaughter."

I chuckled. "C'mon, Papaw."

*

By the time we made it back into Lily's room, her cheeks were full of sandwich, and she was cheerfully slurping down her hot chocolate.

"Thathy! Owsth Be-ah?" she grinned.

"Lily. Don't talk with your mouth full, okay? I don't like see-food."

She swallowed thickly, and took another sip of her drink. "Sorry, Daddy. How's Bella?"

"She's good, princess. They're almost done fixing her foot now. She's going to have a funny brace on it for a while, and they'll give her a cast before she comes home with us."

All the women in the room gasped, and Lily's jaw fell to the floor.

"Home with us?" she squeaked.

I looked to Charlie for some help, and he walked over to sit by her on the bed. "I was hoping you could help your dad take care of Bella once she's out of the hospital. Unless that would make you upset, she doesn't have to. You won't hurt her feelings if you'd rather get to spend some time with just your dad."

"What?! No! I want her to come live with me! Forever!"

He smiled indulgently at her. "I don't know about forever, but at least until she's all better."

"Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" my mother asked quietly.

Confused, I nodded, and walked out into the hall, followed by my mom, Rose, and Alice.

"Edward, you should let her come stay with us. You can't take Bella home with you to your place," my mother admonished.

"Mom, I don't want to impose on you like that. I just want to do something to repay her for everything she's-"

"And you plan on doing that by making her go home with a man she doesn't know, who will be responsible for helping her dress, bathe, and go to the bathroom?" Rose snapped.

My mouth popped open, as I ignorantly hadn't even considered that aspect of her care. "Uh…."

"We could all help out. Jasper and I could come stay for a while. That would be good, right? Live-in therapy. And that way there will be other women in the house to help her," Alice piped in.

"You and Lily both could stay there, as well, Edward. You won't be hounded by any news crews, and that way they won't have to be separated. I'd love to get the chance to know her myself, Edward," my mom smiled.

"Thanks, Mom." I pulled her into my arms for a hug, grateful for my amazing family.

As we walked back into the room, we heard Renee's unmistakable voice. "Yoo-hoo! There you all are!" I turned around to greet her, but couldn't find the words to speak once I saw her.

She was wearing a forest green robe-like floor-length dress, and a white scarf wrapped around her hair. A necklace adorned with large crystals hung around her neck, and similar crystals were dangling from her ears. I stared stupidly at her, until she reached me and threw her arms around my neck.

"Oh, Edward. I'm so glad to see you again! How are you? How's Lily?"

I shook myself out of my stupor enough to answer her. "Uh…She's good. She's in here, if you'd like to meet her. Oh, just don't call her 'baby'. We're still figuring out why exactly, but it upsets her."

She smiled, nodding quickly, and followed behind me. Lily stared at her in shock, eyeing her outfit up and down until she rested on her face. She furrowed her brow at Renee for a moment before shocking us all.

"You're Bella's mommy, huh?"

Renee's entire face lit up, grinning from ear to ear, as Phil slipped into the room behind her. "How did you know, little one?"

"Bella said you're kind of crazy. You look kind of crazy," Lily told her with a completely straight face.

"Lily!" I shouted, mortified, as the entire room dissolved into laughter.

Renee's smile widened even more, even though she blushed slightly. "So Bella told you about me, did she? I brought you some cookies, would you like some?"

Lily's eyes widened. "Um, no. I'm not really hungry right now. Thanks."

Renee eyed her mischievously. "It sounds like Bella told you _all_ about me, then. Don't worry, sweetie, I didn't really make any cookies. Your tummy's safe from me."

Lily smiled shyly back at her. "I'm Bella's sweetie."

Renee's eyes grew misty as she gazed at her. "If you know who I am, do you know who this man behind me is?" she asked, gesturing to Phil.

"Yeah," she muttered. "Are you _sure_ he's not wicked?"

I slapped my forehead with my palm, completely baffled by the turn the conversation had taken. I could not keep up with my daughter's logic at all.

Renee bit her lip to keep in her laughter, leaving Phil to defend himself. He gaped like a fish for a moment, before he recovered. "Err, Lily, I'm not sure what Bella told you about me, but I promise I'm not…_wicked_ at all."

Jasper was staring at Lily speculatively. "Lily, are you worried because he's a _step_father? Like in your fairytales?"

She nodded seriously, not taking her mistrusting eyes off of Phil, who looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Yeah, and he doesn't even look like he plays baseball, either."

"No, no! I do! I even brought you one, see?" Phil dug a ball out of his bag quickly, and produced it for Lily like a consolation prize, begging her to like him.

Her eyes lit up at the present, proving once again how easily children could be bought. "Ooh, thank you! I'm getting lots of presents today!"

Phil handed it to her quickly, and then sank against Renee in relief, who was shaking in silent laughter. Lily rolled the ball in her hands for a few minutes, before boring of it and setting it aside to play with her new doll instead.

"I have more presents!" Renee exclaimed, rummaging through the giant lime green sack hanging from her shoulder. She began producing several long chain necklaces, a large crystal hanging from each. "I brought enough for everyone," she said as she passed them around.

Alice looked at it like it was going to bite her. "Thank you?"

Renee smiled as she began wrapping a white scarf over Lily's hair. "Oh, you're all welcome. They're quartz crystals. Wear them when you go to see Bella and they'll help her heal. And no one can be wearing black when they go to see her. Healing colors only please. There, all done," she patted Lily's head and looked to Charlie.

"How is she, Charlie?"

"We just saw her a few minutes ago. They were almost done in surgery, and you and I can go up in a little while to sit with her. Uh, I'm sorry Phil, but they only let two people in at a time…"

Phil waved him off. "Don't be ridiculous, Charlie. I'll be waiting here with the Cullens. You let her know I said 'hi', and I'll see her later."

Charlie gave him a grateful smile, then turned to Renee. "You want to head up there? She probably won't wake up for a while, but…"

She nodded quickly, walking over to him and hooking her arm through his. "I want to be there when she wakes up, too. Let's go. I'll see you later, okay, Lily? It was…_so lovely_ to meet you. Finally," she whispered, gazing down at her lovingly.

Lily beamed at her. "Make sure you tell Bella I said 'hi' too! And I love her! And I miss her! And tell her about my new dolly!"

Charlie laughed at her. "I will, Lily. And you'll get to see her real soon, I promise."

"Bye, Papaw Charlie!"

Renee raised her eyebrows at Charlie, but didn't say anything, and they walked out of the room, heading towards the elevators.

"I wanna play Go Fish!" bellowed Emmett, as he pulled out a deck of Princess cards.

"Me too! Me too!" Alice chirped, clapping her hands excitedly.

*

BPOV

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

_What the fuck is that God-awful beeping? Somebody turn that off…_

_*****_

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"I love you so much, sweetie. Mommy's here."

_Mommy? Am I dreaming? Where is Lily?_

*

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"Bells, I know you can't hear me, but I'm real glad you're safe now. God, I'll feel so much better once you wake up."

_Charlie? I'm safe? But where is Lily? How do I talk? Why can't I talk?_

*

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"Charlie, did the doctors give you any idea how long it would take? What if something's wrong? Why won't she wake up?"

"I don't know, Renee. Her body's been through a lot. She'll wake up when she's ready to."

"Do you think she would wake up if she heard Lily's voice? It sounds like they've gotten so close."

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

_Lily's voice? Is she here? I need to see her. I need to know if she's okay. Please. Somebody help me._

_**Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"Renee, listen to that monitor. It's speeding up, get the doctor! Quick!"

_Come on, eyes. Open. One at a time. Come on._

"Bells, can you hear me? You're in the hospital. Mom's here, she went to get the doctor."

_No! Get Lily!_

My eyelids fluttered, but they felt so heavy.

_Oh shit. It's too bright._

"Hang on, baby. Here. How's that, is that better?"

I fought to open them again, afraid the brightness of the room would burn them. But it was darker now. _My dad is somewhere in this room. I can hear him. _My eyes flew unfocused around the room, trying to find him. Slowly, his face appeared before mine, warm, soft and glowing, with shining tears reflected from the dim light in the room.

His hand caressed my face gently, as he laughed through his tears.

_I've never seen my dad cry._

"Good morning, baby."

*

**A/N: Next chapter will be BPOV, possibly EPOV as well. Reunion perhaps?**

**I'm not above bribery. Reviews get teasers.**


	18. Chapter 18 Thank You

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N: Probably a Kleenex warning, I don't know, it depends on how easily you cry. Parts made me sniffle. EBT betas. She rocks.**

Chapter 18: Thank You

BPOV

(August 8th)

"Good morning, baby."

"D-ahh," I groaned, unable to speak. My throat felt so dry and raw. I looked around for some water, and saw myself attached to several different machines.

_That explains the fucking annoying beeping._

"Here, Bells. Drink this. Don't try to talk too much. The doctors said your throat's going to be feeling pretty scratchy for a few days. You had a breathing tube in your throat." He held a straw up to my chapped lips, and I was able to part them slightly for him to place the straw in my mouth. I choked down a few sips, but it hurt _so bad_ to swallow.

My mom and a doctor in a white lab coat came barreling into the room, and…_Oh my God. What the fuck is Renee wearing?_ Oh, my mother and her 'healing robes'. She must have been really worried about me. She was wearing gold.

_That's serious in Reneeland._

"Hello, Miss Swan. May I call you Bella?" the doctor asked.

I started to answer, but the sound was trapped in my throat, painfully raw, so I nodded weakly instead.

"You're in the Olympic Medical Center in Port Angeles. You've been asleep for about a day. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

_A day?! I've been asleep for a fucking day?! Where is Lily? How did I get here? Is she here somewhere?_

_**Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"Bella, we need you to calm down. If you're confused, that's alright. It's to be expected. There's time to explain everything."

"Lah," I hacked.

_Goddamnit!_

"Lah…Li…Lil…"

"I think she's trying to say Lily, Charlie. Bella, are you trying to say Lily's name? It's okay, sweetie, we can get her, she's fine. Please calm down," my mom begged.

"We can't let her heart rate stay up like that. Miss Swan if you don't calm down, we're going to have to sedate you."

_No! Just bring Lily!_

_**Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"Nurse! Bring me some Ativan!"

My dad stroked my face, trying to calm me. "Bells, it's okay. You've got to calm down. Just breathe, baby."

I was already exhausted again, and my eyelids were fighting to stay open. But I couldn't fall asleep before seeing her. I needed to make sure she was okay.

_We were in the woods…we fell asleep…what happened after that?_

A nurse came rushing into the room, and I tried to protest as she injected a syringe into my IV.

"N-…_Lily._"

My eyelids lost their fight and I sank back into blackness.

*

"When's she gonna wake up, Daddy?"

_I know that whine._

"She'll wake up when she wakes up, princess. Her body is very tired."

_Who is that? That's not James. Oh my God, where is James?_

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

"Daddy! Do you hear that?! Does that means she's gonna wake up?"

"Maybe, Lily. Hey, move over here for a second."

I felt something warm press into my hand, and a soft voice lilted in my ear.

"Bella. This is Edward Cullen. I'm here in the hospital with Lily. If you can hear me, try to squeeze my hand."

The most I could muster up was a weak flick of my fingers, but he must have felt it. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"There you are, Beautiful. I've got somebody here who _really_ wants to see you. But you have to open your eyes for us. Just try, the light's not too bright, I promise."

I focused all my energy into pulling my eyelids open, and they blinked weakly before finally opening fully. Directly in front of my face were the brightest green eyes I had ever seen, next to Lily's. He was smiling Lily's crooked smile, the dim light in the room making his face glow.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you. Lily has been climbing the walls waiting for you to wake up."

I broke his gaze to look wildly around the room, to see her in the flesh, to know she was okay. Edward moved over quickly, as Lily ran over to my bedside, shoving him out of the way.

"Bella!" She had on new clothes, in a shade of bright green that matched her eyes, and her hair was in beautiful little braids, tied back with a white scarf. She was clutching a baby doll as she bounced excitedly in front of me. I ran my eyes over her, up and down, checking every appendage, every part of her skin I could see, assessing any and all damage. Her smile faltered as she waited, and she glanced worriedly up at her dad.

His smile fell slightly as well, and he placed a straw between my lips as he spoke to her. "Lily, will you go outside and sit with Papaw Charlie for a minute? I'm just going to make sure Bella's feeling alright."

I tried to shake my head no, but he either couldn't tell or didn't care.

_Oh my God. What if he does hate me? Is he going to keep her away from me?  
_

He watched her walk out to the hallway, and once she was around the corner and safely in my dad's lap, he turned back to me with a fearful look in his eye.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry."

We both blurted it out at the same time, my apology a bit raspier than his.

_Wait, what? Why is he apologizing to me? Oh God, he's telling me he's sorry for not letting me see her anymore. No, please._

"Why are _you_ sorry?" he gaped at me in shock.

"Please," I croaked. "I didn't want…_cough_…want to take her. I don't know…_cough…_what happened out there. Please don't…please don't take her from me. I love her so much," I wheezed.

He stared stupidly at me for a full moment before he leapt over to my bedside, picking up my hand like I was made of glass. Brushing some stray hair out of my face, he gazed down at me in wonder.

"You and I," he chuckled lightly, "make quite the pair. Here I've been, agonizing over whether or not you're going to hate us, and want to get as far away as possible once you wake up, and instead…You're worried that I would keep her away from you. As if she would let me," he smiled, shaking his head slightly.

"I…I don't understand," I choked. "I _took_ her. You must hate me."

He closed his eyes, as if in pain. When he opened them, the bright jade they had been was now emerald. "Bella, _no_. You…you saved her. I saw you in the video from the grocery store. I know you wanted to leave. You could have left her there in that parking lot, and escaped yourself, but you stayed with her. And I know there's no way you could have gotten away from him if you tried to take her with you.

"I could _never_ hate you. Do you have _any_ idea how much my daughter loves you? She absolutely _adores_ you, Bella. And what you _did_. She's told me. Talking to her every night, protecting her from that…that _monster_…Bella, please. You _have _to believe me when I tell you, I hold nothing in my heart towards you except for absolute gratitude and adoration for what you did for her. And for me. She's my whole fucking _world_, and I will never ever be able to repay you for what you did for us."

Tears rolled down my face, and he wiped them away softly with his thumbs.

"Please don't cry," he whispered.

I tried to stop, but someone begging me _not_ to cry, after saying incredibly kind things to me, usually caused the exact opposite to occur.

"Thank you," I croaked.

"That's my line."

He smiled sadly at me, pulling something out of his pocket. He gingerly took his thumb and started rubbing something across my chapped lips, some sort of balm to soothe them.

"So you do want to see her?" he asked softly.

I nodded slowly, hypnotized by the softness and seriousness of his eyes.

His brow furrowed, and he looked unsure. "Are you sure? You seemed…strange when she was in here earlier."

I gasped, afraid Lily was thinking I didn't want her. "No! I was checking her. I needed to make sure she was okay. What happened? How did we get here?"

He smiled in relief. "There's time later to tell you all about that. We…_found_ you in the woods. Lily's completely fine. She honestly didn't have a scratch on her. She was a little tired, and a little hungry, but she was absolutely perfect. And she's dying to come back in here. I think I can hear her bouncing from the hallway."

I smiled at him, and he winked at me before rising and going to the door.

"Lily? You want to come in and talk to Bella? She feels better now."

She was a bronze blur as she whizzed past him, sprinting to my bedside.

We wore matching grins on our faces, but I couldn't stop tears of relief from falling down my face.

"Don't be sad, Bella," she whispered. "You're going to be all better now." She lifted up a necklace from underneath her shirt, and I quirked my eyebrows at her as she held a massive quartz crystal towards me. I glanced to Edward in question and he mouthed 'Renee' at me.

I groaned, and he tried unsuccessfully to swallow his laughter.

"I can't wait for you to come home with me. It's gonna be sooo great, Bella."

My eyebrows shot up in alarm, shocked she had made this assumption. My eyes darted to Edward, whom I expected to either be confused or furious, but he instead looked…_sheepish?_

Running his hand through his hair, he looked bashfully at me. "Your parents and I talked, and we thought it would be best if you recovered under our care. We were hoping you would come stay with us at my parent's house. There's more than enough room, and that way you'd be well looked after. You probably aren't feeling it right now, but you've got a bit of a painful road ahead of you. We want to be there for you. Every step of the way."

"And me and Daddy will be there too! Isn't that great, Bella?" Lily bounced in front of me, hardly able to contain herself.

"Are…are you _sure_?" I stuttered out at him.

Before he could respond, Lily cut him off. "Bella, please? Don't you wanna come and stay with me?"

_Oh fuck my life, she's giving me __**the look.**_

I rolled me eyes at her dramatics, yawning before I responded. "Alright, Little Thing. You can put that face away. You win."

She straightened up immediately. "Yay. I love winning. Are you sleepy, Bella?"

Smiling at her, I answered. "Yeah, but it's okay. I want to get to talk to you some more. I missed you."

"No, no, no," Edward walked forward, shaking his head. "You need your rest. We've got all the time in the world for you two to catch up, but Bella needs her rest if she wants to get better." He looked pointedly at me, and I bit my lip in mock shame, to which he rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile.

"Can I please stay with her, Daddy? Just until she goes to sleep? Please?" She turned to him, giving him _**the look**_. I did my best to copy it, and when he saw our matching puppy dog faces, he groaned, tossing his head up to the ceiling.

"So unfair. Now there's two of you. Once we get Alice in here, the three of you will be unstoppable."

She giggled, and I grinned at him, trying to move myself over to make room for Lily in the bed.

"Whoa! What do you think you're doing?" he shouted.

"Making room for Lily," I answered in my best 'duh' voice.

He stared stonily at me. "Absolutely not. You've got tubes coming out of everywhere, and they'll toss us out of here so fast your head will spin if she even tries."

"Daddy!" she whined.

"No, Lily," he answered, his tone final.

She and I huffed in unison, and he bit his cheek to hold in his smirk. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully, before looking over to Lily, who sat dejected.

"We've got to listen to your daddy, Lily. He's the boss. You want to hold my hand?"

"Mmmph," she growled. "Yes. Daddy, come sit down so I can sit on your lap."

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted her, making her giggle.

He lifted her up off of the chair next to my bed, and sat her down on top of his legs. She picked up my right hand and squeezed.

"Bella, can you sing our song?"

I blushed scarlet, too embarrassed to try singing in my croaking voice in front of anyone else. "Lily, I don't think I can sing quite yet. My throat's still really sore."

"Okay," she yawned. "Later?"

Her yawn was contagious, and I groaned. "Yeah, Little Thing." My eyes shut immediately, a soft kiss in my hair the last thing I remembered before drifting away.

*

I awoke some time later, feeling slightly less groggy than before. Lily and Edward were gone, replaced by my dad, who was slumped over reading a fishing magazine.

"Hi, Dad," I rasped.

He jumped in his seat, the magazine flying out of his hands. I started to laugh at him, but it quickly turned to a moan, as the movement tweaked my ribs.

"Are you okay, Bells? What's wrong? Do you need something for the pain? Should I get the doctor?"

I breathed slowly through the pain. They must have been giving me something already, because it quickly passed. "No, Dad. I'm fine. Can I have some water?"

He flew to his feet, spilling a little bit of the water in his haste to give it to me. I sipped through the straw greedily, the ice water sliding down my throat felt _so good_.

"Is that better?"

I nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah. Thanks, Dad."

"You're mom's downstairs with Phil getting something to eat. Do you want me to call her?"

"No, Dad. I'll see her when she comes back up. How are you?"

He snorted at me, shaking his head. "You're asking _me_ how _I'm_ doing? It's supposed to be the other way around, Bells. You are forbidden from worrying about anyone but yourself until you're out of this hospital, you hear me?"

Now it was my turn to snort. "Dad, you do realize that you've never forbidden me from anything in my life, right?"

Raising his eyebrows at me, he retorted, "Yeah, well, first time for everything. Better late than never."

Smiling lazily at him, I sighed. "I missed you, Dad."

He blinked back tears as he grasped my hand. "You have no idea, baby girl."

"I love you, Dad."

He lost the thin hold he had on his control, breaking down into sobs. "Oh my God, Bella. I thought I lost you. I love you, too. So much. I never thought I'd get the chance to tell you again."

I burst into tears as he spoke. I had _never_ seen Charlie show this much emotion. "Oh, _Daddy_."

"What did he do to you, baby? You…I thought you were going to die. You're so tiny, Bella. And your _body_…you were so broken," he shuddered. "What happened there?"

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to keep the memories of James from replaying in my mind. Shaking my head, I cried, "Please, don't. I can't talk about it yet. Please. Daddy, it was _so bad_. And I didn't know what I was doing. I just missed you _so much_."

He rested his head down on top of mine, his tears rolling into my hair. We held each other's hands tightly, holding each other and crying until our tears ran dry. When he pulled back, he didn't even try to hide the redness of his eyes, but wiped my face with his calloused hands.

"Bella, you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, just…Just please tell me, baby. Tell me he didn't…they ran some tests, but you were so _bruised_…everywhere," he breathed heavily, and I could tell he was trying to control his anger.

"No, Dad. He…couldn't."

He shook his head, not understanding. "What? What do you mean, he _couldn't_? I'm sorry, I know you don't want to talk about it…"

"He just…couldn't. He would yell and tell me I broke him when I left, but he thought I was somebody named Victoria, Dad. And he thought Lily was his daughter. He called her Abby. Everything made him _so mad_. Dad, where is he? Is he still out there?"

He hesitated, and it scared me.

"What? Oh my God, he's still out there! Dad, you have to find him-"

"No, no, Bella. He's caught, baby. He can never hurt you again. I promise you that."

Tears burned in my eyes, but I blinked them back. "Are you sure, Daddy?" I whispered.

He swallowed loudly. "Yes, Bella. I _promise_."

"I need some more water."

Placing the straw in my mouth swiftly, his eyes continued to sweep over me. I knew he wanted to know everything that had happened, but I just _couldn't_ yet. He would be so upset, and I didn't want to worry him.

"Edward said you found us in the woods. What happened?"

He sighed, setting the cup back on the table. "We organized a search party after the police got a lead in the Port Angeles area. He and I went up in a helicopter with Stan, you remember Stan Fletcher?"

I nodded, and he continued.

"He took us up and we swept over the area, and we found the cabin. It was completely burned to the ground, and we…thought you had burned in it."

I gasped, horrified at the pain my dad must have felt. "Oh, _Dad_. You must have been so scared. The whole thing burned? I was afraid we wouldn't be able to get far enough away…"

"What happened? How did the fire start?"

I swallowed, trying to detach myself from the memories. "I was really sick. I wasn't getting any better, and I was afraid if we stayed any longer, I'd die, and I couldn't leave Lily by herself. We had been sneaking away food, and I broke a glass to cut him with. That didn't turn out so well…" I trailed off, shifting my right arm slightly, where his eyes shot to, widening.

"You…you attacked him? To try and escape? With a glass? How…? Bella, you weigh as much as my right leg, how did you overpower him?" he gaped at me in shock, stuttering over himself.

"He always made me cook," I began, speaking robotically. "The night we left, I had Lily wait in our room when I was ready. I used a pan of hot oil and a pot of boiling water. I threw them on him, and we fought. The table got pushed into the fireplace, and there was a bookcase right next to it. Once it caught, the whole place starting to burn. I knocked him out with the jar. When we left, I got one of the deadbolts to lock before he tried to come after us. I left him there, in the house. Burning…I don't know how he got out, we heard gunshots. I don't know where his gun or his car keys were, I think he might have kept them locked in that freezer…" I stopped short at my dad's blanched expression.

"What? What did I say?"

"You didn't know. You didn't know their bodies were in there," he whispered, more to himself than me.

"What?!" I shrieked, throwing myself into a coughing fit. "What do you mean _their bodies were in there_? Who the fuck was in there? What are you talking about?"

My heart monitor started to accelerate loudly, and he tried to calm me.

"No, Bells. Come on, please. You can't get worked up like this. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Please calm down, honey."

I started hyperventilating, and black spots started to creep into my vision. My panting was causing my ribs to burn, and the pain sent my blood pressure up even higher. Doctors and nurses came rushing in, trying to evaluate me, but I couldn't hear anything they were saying, everything was muffled, like they were speaking through water. My dad's worried face was the last thing I saw before I slipped into blackness once again.

*

EPOV

"Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit," Charlie came storming into the cafeteria muttering under his breath. Renee, Phil, and the rest of my family were all eating some dinner, while we _thought _Charlie was going to spend some time with Bella when she woke up. Renee shot to her feet in a panic.

"What?! What happened? Is she okay?"

Charlie gritted his teeth, and snapped back at her. "Yeah, she's fine, except I threw her into a fucking panic attack because I couldn't keep my goddamn mouth shut."

My jaw dropped, and Jasper's eyebrows shot up in alarm. I had never heard Charlie use that kind of language, and he was obviously really, _really _upset with himself. Alice nudged Jasper, and they exchanged glances, before he nodded, motioning me with his chin to follow.

"Charlie, let's go take a walk. I don't think it's raining. You could use some fresh air." We both stood, and Charlie followed us despondently out of the cafeteria towards the exit. Once outside, Jasper kept a slow pace, not facing Charlie as he spoke.

"Talk to me, Charlie. Tell us what happened."

He exploded. "I pushed her! I wanted to know what happened so goddamn bad, and she didn't want to talk about it, but I just couldn't stop being a cop for two fucking seconds for my own daughter, and she told me anyway. Because I wouldn't leave it alone. I just _had _to know. And then she mentioned the freezer, and I couldn't stop thinking about when we found their bodies, and how I thought it was her, and I blurted it out, without a fucking thought how it would upset her, and she flipped out. She had no idea there was people in there, she thought he was using it to hide stuff from them, but as soon as I mentioned that they were in there, she just lost it. She couldn't breathe, and she was coughing, and crying out, and they had to sedate her again to get her to calm down.

"I just couldn't leave it alone," he whispered brokenly.

My heart broke for him, for the sadness in his eyes. I knew that look well. He thought he had failed her, and that her pain was all his fault. Jasper stopped walking, turning to look him in the eye.

"Charlie, you can't kill yourself because she had a panic attack. She's probably going to have many more of those on her path to recovery. Granted, while she's still in the ICU is not the ideal time to start discussing what happened to her, but she will have to talk about it eventually, even if she doesn't want to. I can't blame you for wanting to know what happened to her there. I don't have any children of my own, but I'm sure I'd feel the same as you right not if I were in your shoes. Right, Edward?" He looked to me hopefully.

I rubbed Charlie's shoulder as I answered. "Absolutely, Charlie. It's been killing me to hear about what happened as Lily's ready to talk about it. All I want is to just know everything, so I can go upstairs, and shake that bastard out of his coma so I can do the same to him. But I can't, and you've seen yourself now what happens if we push for too much, too soon. But don't beat yourself up over this. Please. Let's just figure out what to tell Bella when she wakes up, and how we're going to proceed." I nodded to Jasper, letting him take over.

"I've placed a couple of calls to some colleagues of mine back in Seattle. Some female therapists that have experience dealing with trauma victims. One in particular works with both women and children of abuse, and I think she'd be great for Bella _and_ Lily to talk to once we're back home. Her name's Siobhan, and she's the best cognitive behavioral therapist I know. For now, I think it would be best to let Bella focus on her physical recovery, and we'll address her mental recovery once we're back home.

"You've got to remember, too, Charlie, Bella's not one-hundred percent herself. The doctors are currently weaning her off of the Oxycontin, and that's really going to mess with her moods. She's going to be irritable, sensitive, easily overwhelmed. Even after she's weaned, she's still going to struggle with cravings, whether she wants to admit it or not. She'll probably have to undergo an opiate replacement therapy for a while until she's completely rid of the habit."

Charlie's face turned bright red in anger. "She never wanted those drugs. She's not some druggie with a _habit_," he hissed.

I tried to defuse the situation quickly. "No, Charlie. Nobody is calling Bella a druggie. She was forced into the addiction, but it is still an addiction. We're not talking about sending her off to a methadone clinic, she'll just be given a small dose of a craving blocker to help her adjust."

He rubbed his hands over his face roughly. "I just want her to be _better_. I wish it was as easy as her body healing, and then she can just move on with her life."

Jasper smiled at him in sympathy. "But it's not that simple, Charlie. She's already had two panic attacks since she woke up. Did she have a history of them prior to…the incident?"

"No, never," he replied, shaking his head.

Jasper nodded in kind. "Then it's safe to say that this recent development is directly caused by her experience, and is not going away anytime soon. We'll be watching her closely, and if she needs an anti-anxiety medication or antidepressant, we'll make sure she gets it. As crazy as it might seem, the opiates she was already given, along with the medications for her sepsis and surgery are probably helping her to heal more than just physically. They've been shown to help prevent PTSD, but it's still going to take time for her to adjust. My main focus while staying at our family's house will be to monitor her progress, to make sure she doesn't withdraw, and to help her through any panic attacks or flashbacks that may occur."

I could see the wheels turning in Charlie's head, as he absorbed everything Jasper was trying to tell him. In a sick and selfish way, I really wanted to know what he and Bella had talked about, what she had told him. So far Lily had only mentioned her conversations with Bella, catching herself whenever she started to mention 'bad daddy'. Every time I heard her say that, I had to fight the urge to punch something.

Losing myself in my own thoughts, I didn't even realize Jasper had left us until Charlie spoke.

"She started that fire. She fought him…so they could escape. And she did it. She really did it."

My eyes stayed trained on his face, trying to understand what he was saying.

"_She_…she fought him? That's how they escaped? I never thought…" I asked incredulously.

He nodded, not focusing on me, but something in the distance. "She knew she was sick, and she was only getting worse. She said they had been hiding food away. I guess she'd been planning it for a while. She said that night…the night of the fire…she sent Lily to her room so she could attack him. You know those burns he has? She did that. She threw hot oil and water on him."

I gaped at him. "Wha-…Tha-…_Wow._ That's so…_resourceful_?"

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Resourceful, right. Stupid, insane, brave, unbelievable, genius, amazing…" he faded out, shaking his head.

I softened as I stared at him, trying to picture Bella, the same woman who was upstairs in critical condition, fighting _him_ and winning.

The only word I could think of was, "How?"

"You tell me, doc," he laughed. "You're the expert. I've heard of mothers pulling cars off children, but I never thought my own daughter would be capable of taking down a full-grown man with dinner and some broken glass, while she was sick as a dog." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Holy mother of fuck," I muttered. "That's just…I hope I never get on her bad side."

He burst out laughing, holding his sides. "You and me both!"

I stood on, bemused, still in shock. I had just assumed the cabin had caught on fire by some accident, and she and Lily had run off in the chaos. I _never_ imagined that she could be so brave as to escape him. She faced a man who had beaten and tortured her. And once again, she had protected my daughter first and foremost, sending her away before she fought him. Even near delirium and drugged, she thought to bring food to take care of Lily.

"I don't remember seeing any food out in the woods. Where was it?"

He wiped tears from his eyes as he calmed down. "Oh, I thought someone would have told you. There were two bags of supplies nearby the area where we found them. Canned foods, a can opener, a first aid kit, and some toilet paper."

I shook my head in amazement. "Christ, that's just…incredible. She's _amazing_."

He nodded, pride shining through his eyes. "I know."

*

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	19. Chapter 19 Nothing But Time

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 Isakassees**

**A/N: I just wanted to thank all my readers again. I don't know if I ever thanked you all for getting us over 3,000 reviews, and I'm pretty sure you guys are about to push us past 4k this chapter. It's amazing this story has gotten all the attention it has, and I thank all of you for your reviews and favorites. I enjoy every single one of them, and try to reply to them all. Hopefully a tear-free chapter. EBT betas. And she's really good at it. **

Chapter 19: Nothing But Time

EPOV

(August 11th)

"Wake up! Wake up!"

_Ugh. My bed is shaking. We don't get earthquakes in Washington…_

"Wake up! Wake up!"

_Ugh. But we do get Lilyquakes._

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

I groaned, opening my eyes to the blinding light shining in through our motel room window. We had moved to the Aircrest Motel, because it was exactly one minute from the hospital, which was still one minute too long for Lily's liking.

"Finally!" she groaned. "Get up! We've got to go get the flowers! Bella gets to move to the new room today! _Come on_, Daddy!"

She hadn't stopped bouncing since the doctors told Bella yesterday that her sepsis had cleared, and they would be moving her to a regular hospital room to finish her ten-day weaning off of the Oxy. Last night they took her to remove the external fixator and cast her leg, so Lily's visit was cut short. We had been spending every spare moment up at the hospital.

It was a small example that showed me how much she had changed in our time apart. Never before would she have been able to stay occupied in such a quiet environment, but to see Bella…She colored in coloring books, drawing pictures for Bella to hang in her new room, scribbled in a notebook Renee had gotten for her to write her 'stories', _just like Bella. _Her whole world revolved around Bella and her recovery.

_Not that I blame her._

She was recovering amazingly well, her fighting nature truly shining through in her quest to get out of the hospital. She _hated _the hospital. Most women would love to be fawned over, but not Bella. I had seen her snap at more than one meddling nurse that tried to tell her she shouldn't have so many visitors. I personally had to grit my teeth at more than one male orderly being overly _helpful_ stopping by 'just to check if she needed anything'.

Visiting with Bella over the last couple of days had been so surreal. I got to see firsthand the strong bond she shared with Lily, the way they both lit up at seeing each others' faces. Watching the two of them interact, it seemed they had known each other their whole lives. Whenever they would get wrapped up in a conversation, Bella would almost seem to catch herself, and find a way to include me in. I thought she might be worried about me being jealous over their relationship, but it was truly so heartwarming to watch the two of them together.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

"Aah. I'm up. I'm up. Let me shower and then we'll go get the flowers, okay, Lily?"

She stopped jumping on my bed long enough to point her finger straight at me. "Ten minutes. Dressed and ready to go in ten minutes. Got it, Mister?"

"Oh, that is _it_." I launched myself at her, tackling her down onto the bed, and tickling her sides relentlessly. She giggled until she was shrieking, screeching out for mercy.

"Da-ddeeee! Quit! Quit! I'm gonna peepee on you!"

I jumped back, and she grinned mischievously back at me. "Gotcha."

I started to move towards her again, but she stomped her foot adorably. "No, Daddy! You've got to get dressed now! It's time to go see Bella! I'm waiting on you!"

For the first time I noticed what she was wearing, and I had to bit my lip so hard it hurt to keep my laughter in. She had obviously dressed herself this morning. The outfit started off normal enough, with a white t-shirt and jeans, but the jeans were tucked into yellow galoshes, and she wore a pink ballet costume over the shirt and jeans, complete with backpack full of coloring and writing supplies, and a tiara that was slightly askew on top of her head from our tickle war.

Choking the words out, I muttered. "Ten minutes. Yes, ma'am."

_Even though she can't tell time, and will be knocking down this door in less than two._

I locked the bathroom door behind me to keep her from surprising me in the shower, and washed and shaved quickly. My back was killing me from sleeping on the motel bed, but I had been plainly informed by Lily that we were not going home without Bella. I didn't have the heart to separate either one of them, and I really enjoyed getting to be around Bella myself. Aside from what she had done for Lily, there was this light about her, a warmth that made her so…real.

_Doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous._

I internally smacked myself for having slightly less than pure thoughts about her…_again_. It felt completely inappropriate, when it was clear Lily was her first priority, as she was mine as well. And the fact that she was still healing in a hospital bed. But I couldn't deny that the underlying attraction I had for her when I first saw her knocked on the floor in the middle of all those apples wasn't creeping its way back into my mind now that she was back and safe, and more perfect than anything I could have ever dreamed up for myself.

I chanced a quick glance down, and groaned, turning the water to freezing cold for a moment before getting out.

"Dadd-eeee!" Lily's muffled screech came through the bathroom door, followed by the doorknob jiggling. "Hurry up! It's been _forever_!"

I rolled my eyes as I saw little fingers poke through underneath the door.

"Lily, it's been five minutes. Give me five more to get dressed and then we will go. Go through the door in the wall to Nana's room and see if they're ready yet," I called out through the bathroom door.

Her impatient huff rang through the door, followed by a slam as she entered the next suite over. I rushed to get dressed quickly, eager myself to get to the hospital. Today Bella would be meeting my entire family for the first time, and to say they were all excited would be an understatement. I was a little worried about Emmett and Alice especially, anxious they might overwhelm her, but they had both promised to be on their best behavior.

_That's not saying much for either of them._

Padding out of the bathroom, I slipped on my shoes and went next door, where I was greeted with the same sight I had woken up to this morning. Lily was jumping on top of my parent's bed, as they blinked and yawned sleepily trying to wake up.

"Time to go! Time to go!" she sang, over and over.

I grabbed her mid-air, and grinned at my parent's. "We're going to head out now, so we can pick up the flowers. We'll see you guys at the hospital, alright? Room 226."

"Mm-hmm," was their mumbled reply.

Tossing Lily over my shoulder, she yelled out behind me as we walked out.

"Hurry up, guys!"

I walked down to my Volvo, buckling Lily up into her booster seat. We stopped down the street at a florist shop to pick up Bella's lily arrangement. I had been amused to find that lilies _were_ in fact her favorite flower, and seeing the tattoo did _not_ help with me trying to not have impure thoughts about her.

Lily had been determined to find pink and blue lilies, though I was curious as to why Bella blushed so deeply when Lily retold the story she had created. After several phone calls, I found a florist who got a hold of blue water lilies, and was creating an arrangement of those and pink stargazers. I had to talk Lily out of more than one vase, promising we would bring more as they wilted.

The elderly man behind the register greeted Lily kindly, and she hid her face in my shirt in response. She was extremely wary of strangers, which Jasper assured me was normal, and not necessarily a bad thing for any child to be. I paid him for them, thanking him again, before depositing both Lily and the flowers back into the car. Once we were safely out of earshot of the old man, she came back to life.

"Daddy, these are _perfect_. Bella is going to love these flowers so much. We have to get new ones as soon as these ones gets sick and dies. You promised, remember, Daddy?"

"Yes, Lily," I sighed, not able to really ever get truly annoyed with her, relishing all her quirks that I had missed _so _much. It only took two and a half minutes to drive to the hospital, but I thought Lily was going to explode out of her car seat before we pulled into the parking garage.

"Daddy, maybe we shoulda brought her some breakfast, too."

I locked eyes with her in the rearview mirror. "Princess, we can't bring her any special foods just yet. She's still got to eat soups and juice for a little longer."

"I can't wait for us to have our pancakes."

I squinted at her, trying to keep up. "Is that a perfect day thing?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily as I pulled into a space.

I had gotten used to her mentioning 'perfect day' ideas. They were varied, from activities, to food, and it always took my breath away to hear how Bella managed to keep Lily so optimistic when she was suffering through such a dark time. Grabbing the flowers, I opened my door and unbuckled Lily as she scrambled out of the car, dragging me to the elevator by the hand.

She was practically humming with excitement, and as soon as the elevator doors opened, she tried to bolt.

"Lily Autumn Cullen!" I shouted, freezing her in her tracks. "You _do not_ run away from, young lady. You don't even know which room is hers, so please don't make me chase you."

She looked properly abashed, and waited for me to catch up with her. Taking her hand in mine, I squeezed it gently, giving her a smile so she knew I wasn't too upset with her. It was hard to properly discipline her, when part of me wanted to spoil her forever after everything she'd been through. As unrealistic as I knew that was, it didn't make it any easier.

By the time we reached Bella's room, she was all smiles again. She barely contained herself long enough to knock before bursting into the room. I grimaced as Bella jerked awake, but she never let her tiredness show for a second, instead grinning as Lily leapt to her side.

"Bella, look! We brought you flowers! Your favorite kind!"

She glanced up at me, and upon seeing the flowers in my hand began tearing up. My first instinct was to think she didn't like them for some reason, but the last few days had been extremely emotional for her as she was weaned down off of the Oxy.

"Thank you so much. They're beautiful," she whispered. "Where did you ever find blue lilies?"

"At the florist down the street. They have tons," I lied through my teeth.

She grinned at Lily, stroking her cheek. "Pink and blue, huh?"

"Since we're the princesses," Lily nodded back seriously.

"Are your parents here yet?" I questioned.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. I get to start non-clear liquids today, so they're fetching me some oatmeal. Woo-hoo," she cheered sarcastically.

"Hey, before you know it, you'll be out of here, and it'll be pancake time," I chuckled.

She groaned. "Don't mention real food to me! I would give my entire book collection to get a cheeseburger right now."

At this point, I noticed Lily sitting in her chair watching Bella and I converse like a tennis match. She caught my eye and looked away immediately, biting her lip and smiling.

_What is that about?_

"So are you ready to meet my family?" Lily interjected, already starting to bounce.

"I don't know," Bella answered softly. "Do you think they'll like me?"

"Bella, they love you! You're so cool! Did you know my Nana and Aunt Ali and Aunt Rose read your books?"

Bella smiled. "You might have mentioned it once or twice. I'm kind of hurt, Lily. You didn't notice my brand new cast."

Lily's eyes shot to Bella's leg, and she grinned as she saw the color. "Blue! I knew it!"

"Are you going to sign it for me? My mom left a marker on the table there. You get to be the first one."

"Should I do my whole name? Or just my first one? Do you want a picture?"

Bella smiled indulgently at her. "Whatever you want is fine with me. You can color the whole thing if you want to."

As Lily went to work, I walked fully inside the room finally, and set the flowers down on her bedside table. Sitting down in the chair beside her bed, I tried to inconspicuously check her chart hanging at the bedside.

She rolled her eyes, and laughed at me lightly. "Just pick it up, Edward. You'll give yourself a headache looking at it sideways like that."

I swallowed a sheepish grin as I picked it up and glanced over it, breathing in relief as I saw her test results and vitals were getting better by the day.

"I just worry, that's all. We want you better."

She placed her hand on top of mine holding the chart. "I know. I appreciate it, I do. I'm just not used to so much attention. I know I'm a terrible patient."

I snorted, since that was putting it lightly. She never admitted when she was tired, never asked for more pain medication, and apologized constantly whenever she needed help moving or snapped at someone.

She smacked my hand playfully for mocking her, before realizing she was touching me. She blushed and pulled away, just as the door opened. Instead of my family or hers however, it was one of the male orderlies I severely disliked. He eyed her just a little too closely to be appropriate. I saw Bella tense as he entered, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl beside her so she would feel protected, or kick his ass out. But he had a job to do, and I didn't want to be tossed from the hospital.

She kept her eyes on her blanket as he moved in her bathroom, cleaning the trash and filling the supplies. It wasn't until he started coming closer to empty the trash by her bed that she started to shake.

"Stop," I ordered.

He cockily quirked his eyebrow at me, waving his trash liner obnoxiously. I narrowed my eyes at him and stood to my full height, which was a good four inches over him. He cowered back slightly, but still maintained his douchebag expression. Snatching the trash bag out of his hand, I changed the can out myself, tossing the used bag which contained all of two tissues in it back at him. He gritted his teeth, but collected his supplies and left.

Lily had been oblivious to the entire exchange, so I was able to focus solely on Bella. Her eyes were still closed tightly, and she was breathing quickly through her mouth. I could tell she was trying to keep herself from having a panic attack, and my eyes burned as I watched her struggle, wishing I could take her pain on myself, even if for only a moment.

"Bella," I murmured softly in her ear. "It's alright. You're safe. I'm here. Lily's here. He's gone. Open your eyes for me, Beautiful. You're alright."

Her eyes popped open and locked onto mine, but her breathing stayed quick and light. I smiled softly at her, willing her to focus on me, to trust her safety with me.

"Breathe, Bella. Slowly. In and out. In and out. There you go. You're fine. Just fine," I smiled.

Tears dropped from her eyes as she focused on me, and I wiped them away quickly, locking her in my gaze.

"Did you know women blink nearly twice more than men?"

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Huh?"

Trying to distract her, I continued. "It's true. I think it's because men are constantly saying things that are completely stupid to women, so they have to pause and think over what the men are saying, thus the blinking. Do you think that's possible? Do you think you blink more than me?"

"I don't…I don't…Yes?"

Smoothing her hair away from her face, I smiled softly at her. "Totally dumb segue. But how are you feeling now?"

She smiled sadly back at me. "Sufficiently distracted and stupid."

Cupping her face, I made her look at me. "Bella, you're not stupid for being nervous around creepy men. Even if you hadn't gone what you've gone through, I would still hope your creep radar went off around assholes like that."

"Oooh, Daddy! That's a bad word!"

Bella bit her lip to hide her smile, hanging me out to dry. I rolled my eyes before looking to Lily.

"You're right, princess. Sorry. Finish your drawing on Bella's cast, okay?"

She didn't even bother to reply, going back to her masterpiece. I picked up Bella's hand, caressing it gently with my fingertips.

"Bella, that guy was completely creepy. Don't feel bad for being uncomfortable around him. Focus on the positive. Do you realize how well you did just now? You breathed through your panic, and you stayed present. Bella, it's only been five days. Please, cut yourself some slack."

She swallowed thickly, focusing on our joined hands. "I just hate that people have to be cautious around me, like I'm some basket case ready to pop. I don't want special treatment, I just want to go back to being ordinary, plain, old Bella."

"Oh, Bella," I chuckled. "I've learned so much about you from Charlie and Renee, I find it hard to believe you were _ever_ just plain. And it's just not possible for someone as _extra_ordinary as you to _ever _have been ordinary. No matter what you think."

Our eyes stayed locked, hers searching for any joking or malice in my words, mine beseeching her to believe me, to understand how incredible of a person she was.

"Is it crazy that I feel like I know them already? Your family, and even you, a little bit. Just from what Lily told me. I'm wondering how it's all going to match up when I meet them."

"Bella, Lily recognized your parents at first sight. It's not crazy at all. I'm just surprised you still want to meet my family at all, if you already know about them," I laughed.

Our conversation was interrupted by my oaf of a brother making his usual boisterous entrance. A brusque knock, followed by the bang of the door as he threw it open, entering with so many balloons, I was amazed he was still on the ground.

"Alright, Eddie. Time to stop hogging my new sis!"

Bella grinned at him as my family, followed by her parents, filed into the hospital room.

"Hi, Emmett," she greeted him softly.

His eyes lit up, and he cockily nodded at me. "Once again, the legend of my awesomeness precedes me. Pop quiz, B. You name every person in this room without any hints, and I might let you have one of my balloons."

Her eyes swept over my family as Renee brought her over a cup of oatmeal. I moved out of the way, and went to stand next to my mom, whose eyes were shining with happiness.

"Okay, um…Well, you're Emmett obviously, and I'm going to guess the model next to you is your wife, Rose. Nice to meet you. Err, Bella," she laughed, pointing at herself.

Rose smiled kindly at her. "It's really nice to officially meet you. I have to tell you, I am _such_ a huge fan of yours."

"Yeah she is!" Emmett laughed. "She reads your stuff, and then reads stuff written about your stuff online all damn day!"

"Oh yeah?" Bella's eyebrows lifted. "Do you just read it, or do you ever write any?"

Rose, unflappable Rose, actually blushed. "I _might_ have written a couple of random one-shots here and there," she mumbled.

Clicking her tongue, Bella asked, "What's your penname?"

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Rose looked absolutely bashful, and Emmett looked like he just won the lottery. "RoseSwan347."

Bella's jaw dropped slightly, but she fixed it quickly into a sly smirk. "Nice, Rose. Very nice."

"Oh my God, I can't believe you've actually read any of it!" She hid her face in Emmett's bouncing shoulders, as he laughed loudly.

He patted her back, but fixed his gaze on Bella. "Alright, Swan. No more stalling. Finish the quiz."

"That's got to be Jasper…Hi, Jasper."

He nodded politely back at her, smiling.

"And that must mean you're Alice…Oh no, Alice tell me that's not a caboodle hidden behind your back? You can't possibly already be trying to start the makeovers yet! I'm still in the hospital!"

Alice fixed her pout on her face, and I saw Bella's eyes glaze over as she fought against the power of _**the**_ _**look**_. Bella turned to Lily, who was completely unimpressed with the conversation around her, totally engrossed in her artwork on Bella's cast.

Shaking her head, Bella sighed. "I ought to smack you, Alice. You're the reason why I'll never win an argument against Little Thing."

"But Bella!" Alice pouted. "I just want to help you feel beautiful. This is what I do! I only use my powers for good, and helping you feel human again is a good cause. I won't go too crazy, I promise."

Bella narrowed her eyes on her. "Fine. But only if you promise me you won't try to put me into any wacky outfits while I'm still laid up in a hospital bed."

Deciding it was my turn to have a little fun, I grinned evilly at Alice. "Well I'm sure she could just bring over some of the clothes she emptied out of your closet already."

Bella gaped at her, and Alice shot daggers at me with her eyes. Before she could open her mouth to defend herself, Bella spoke up.

"Alice, I'm going to tell you this, and only once, so listen up. I wish I could say I was surprised to hear you've already started your wardrobe upheaval voodoo on me, but I'm not. Lily has already given me fair warning of your talents. But over my dead body will I be limping out of this hospital in Jimmy Choos. No heels, period. You _will_ leave my sweat pants alone. If you touch my Converse, I will burn your entire Hermes scarf collection."

Alice's jaw dropped, while the rest of my family tried desperately to hold back their laughter.

"Oh, yeah. That's right. I know all about your favorite little collections. Tit for tat, Ms. Whitlock. You can do whatever you like in the shirts and blouses department, as long as they don't show my stomach. Go to town on any pants you like, but you need final clearance from me before you toss anything, or I will retaliate.

"And all of this wonderful Bella Barbie-ness will happen _without_ me. I don't do the mall. At all. So I'll give you my credit card, and you can shop 'til you drop, but I will be cozy at home, reading a book. Do we understand each other?"

"Would you at least come to my boutique? That's only one store, and you can sit and relax and just give me your opinion on things," Alice bartered hopefully.

"Fine. But not until my cast is off. Deal?"

Alice sashayed over to her bed, and held out her hand to shake. "Deal. Well played, Bella."

Bella shook her hand, giggling. "Thank you, Alice. I'm tough when I need to be."

_Yeah, you are._

Alice turned to Charlie. "You weren't kidding about that stubborn thing, huh?"

Charlie smirked at her. "I _did_ try to warn you."

Emmett clapped his hands to get her attention again. "C'mon, Swan! Time's a wastin'!"

"Alright, alright! Okay, so that leaves Nana Esme and Papaw Carlisle. It's very nice to meet both of you as well. Do I get my balloon now?"

"Not until you finish your breakfast. Only good girls get balloons," he smirked.

She rolled her eyes, but picked up her cup of oatmeal, sipping it slowly.

"Good. So listen, squirt, it's time to talk business. I've taken a personal leave of absence with the Mariners to come and stay with you at my parent's. I'm going to oversee your diet and exercise plan to get you back into shape so we can have you kicking ass again."

"Emmett!" I hissed.

Bella found my eyes immediately, and the softness and understanding there floored me. "It's okay, Edward. But Emmett? I don't think I'm in dire need of any dieting in the near future. And I'm sort of out of commission for the whole exercise idea, what with the bulky cast and bum ribs and all. And I hate the idea of you missing out on work to take care of me. I'll be fine."

"Pshaw. Ye of little faith. I'm putting you on a diet to _gain_ weight, B. I like that one, we'll stick with calling you B. That's good. Anyway, we're going to work on your muscle tone as you gain your weight back. I'll have a plan all worked up by the time you break out of this joint. You'd be amazed what I can do despite a bulky cast and some bum ribs. Takes more than that to stump me. I'm seriously the most awesome person I know."

"Oh, definitely, Emmett," Bella deadpanned.

"We're so looking forward to you coming to stay with us, Bella. We're glad we'll get the chance to know you, after hearing so much about you from Charlie and Renee," my mom murmured softly.

"Oh God," Bella groaned. "That can't be good. How many Bella-is-a-klutz stories were you forced to endure?"

"Enough for us to have padding placed around all the sharp edges in our house," my dad grinned.

She blushed in response, and everyone in the room laughed, especially Charlie.

"It's going to be quite the full house, isn't it? Will we all fit there?" Bella asked curiously.

"Oh yes, dear," my mom reassured her. "We've got more than enough room for everyone to be comfortable."

"We won't all be there round the clock, either," Rose said. "I'll still be going into work during the day, but Alice or Esme will be there to help you. Edward and Lily, too. And I apologize ahead of time for whatever dumbass things my husband says."

"I'll be there, too, Bella," Jasper interrupted. "I'll be going into work to see some of my regular patients, but I won't be taking on any new ones for a while. I have a colleague I'd like for you to meet-"

"No thank you, Jasper," Bella bit out in a clipped tone.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence as Jasper and Bella stared each other down. She looked positively hostile, but his gaze was calculating, and I knew it well. He was deciding how to proceed.

"Could everyone give us a moment to speak? Alone?" Jasper asked.

Charlie glanced between Jasper and Bella nervously, unsure of how to serve his daughter's best interests. Renee brushed her hand against his shoulder and nodded at him, and he rose to follow her and the rest of my family out the door.

"I don't want to leave," Lily whined.

Bella's eyes softened as she looked to Lily. "Would you mind going with your daddy to get me some hot tea? I really want some."

"I'll get it for you, Bella! Daddy, c'mon!" She threw her marker down onto the bed and ran to my side, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door. My eyes caught Bella's for a second, but she looked away quickly, setting her jaw.

_Shit. She's pissed at me. I should have warned her._

"We'll be back in a little while with your tea, Bella. Any particular kind?"

She glared at me. "Oh no. I'm sure whatever _you_ feel I need will be just fine."

I inhaled sharply at her insinuation, trying to show her with my eyes how sorry I was. I realized in that moment how we had completely taken over her life, dictating her recovery to her as if she wasn't able to make decisions herself. Feeling more than slightly ashamed, I let Lily take me out the door, shutting it silently behind me.

I wanted nothing more than to bang my head into a wall for my stupidity and ignorance, but that would probably have worried Lily, who was oblivious to my inner turmoil. She started to pull me down the hall towards the refreshments room, but Alice stopped us.

"Wait for me, guys."

She slid next to me and kept pace as we made our way.

"Too much, too soon?" she asked softly.

I swallowed my shame down thickly, shaking my head at her. "It's my fault. I should have told her that Jasper was going to be suggesting therapy. I've spent countless hours in her room the last few days, and I didn't mention it once. She had every right to feel overwhelmed by all of us coming in there and shooting ideas at her."

"Edward, I'm sure she won't stay mad long. Just give her time to talk to Jazz. He'll calm her down. It's what he does."

"I want to give her this tea, Daddy. It's gots a blue bag."

I smiled, taking it from her. "Okay, Lily. Let me make it, the water's hot. I don't want you to get burned."

"Do you think she wants some Jell-O?" She gazed at the fridge full of red and orange Jell-O longingly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not sure, but I bet if she doesn't, you will eat it for her."

She nodded sagely. "I'll get her some just in cased. If she needs me to eat it, that's okay."

We walked back to the hallway outside her room, where the family stood awkwardly. Renee and Charlie were arguing quietly, and I could barely make out what they were saying.

"And what if she's nervous being with him alone?" Charlie hissed.

Renee leveled him with her glare. "Do not insinuate that I would leave her in there if I thought there was a chance she would panic."

"I'm not insinuating anything, woman. You _did_ leave her in there, and she _could_ very well panic."

"Damnit, Charlie-"

She was cut off by the door opening to a smiling Jasper. I ran my hand through my hair for the millionth time in the last minute, trying to decide whether I should go back in or not. What if she didn't want to see me? He was smiling, did that mean she wasn't mad anymore? What would I do if she was? Lily _needed _her.

_Maybe I should go buy some more flowers?_

_Fucking Christ, when did I become such a fucking girl?_

I looked up to Jasper standing in the doorway, and he shook his head at me smirking. "C'mon, O Brooding One. I think she'd like that tea now."

Pushing past him, I entered the room, where Bella was laughing, watching Lily eat her Jell-O. Renee was gloating, and Charlie was scowling at her. Those two could not be more different people. It was amazing the end product was Bella. She didn't notice me enter the room until I set her tea down next to the bedside table. She looked up at me shyly, biting her lip.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I laughed maniacally, utterly confounded by the way this woman's brain worked. Kneeling down beside her, I shook my head.

"Bella, are you kidding me? _I'm _sorry. We're completely bulldozing you, and I practically tossed you to the wolves. I shouldn't have let Jasper be the one to tell you about his friend. To be honest, I hate the idea of you having to talk about it as much as you-"

She snorted. "Somehow I doubt that, Edward."

I smiled sadly at her. "Alright. I hate the idea of _Lily_ having to talk about it if it upsets her, and I really _don't_ want for you to have to go through any more pain reliving the experience. I'm sorry that I took your choice out of your hands. It was out of line, and I'm really very sorry."

She shook her head, and her mane of mahogany hair fell in front of her face, hiding her from my view. I pushed it back gently, and she closed her eyes as the back of my hand stroked her face softly. When she opened them again, I lost myself in her deep chocolate eyes, seeing for the first time the small gold specks in them.

"I'm just so used to being independent, sometimes I forget how to let other people take care of me. I'm sorry if I've seemed ungrateful-"

I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up her finger to silence me.

"I just wish there was some way I could still feel like _me_. I feel like I'm losing myself in this new _post-traumatic recovery_ phase of my life. But I'm _so _thankful for you and your family. I'm glad I'll get to spend time getting to know them all, I'm glad I'll still get to see Lily, I'm glad that they'll all be able to help me heal. I'm just so….up and down, I wish I could feel _grounded_ in something somehow."

I pondered over everything she'd said, and a light bulb popped above my head. "What about your writing? What if we brought you your laptop?"

Her eyes lit up beautifully, and the most brilliant smile I had ever seen spread across her face. "Really?" she squeaked. "I mean, but how? It's at my apartment in Seattle…"

"I could drop it by for you tomorrow, Bella," Rose said. I was unaware the whole family had been listening to our conversation. "I have to go in to work for a few hours tomorrow, but I could bring it back with me in the evening. If you don't mind me in your apartment while you're not there."

"Rose, Jasper was so wrong about you. That's so sweet of you to offer. Thank you."

Rose's eyes narrowed at Jasper, who tried to hide his six-feet tall frame behind my five-feet tall sister.

"What have you been telling her about me, Jasper Whitlock? Cousin or not, I _will_ kick your ass."

He looked to Bella, but she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, smiling beatifically at him.

He shook his head chuckling, wincing as Rose walked over to him and slapped upside the head. "Ouch, damnit, Rosalie! And _you,_" he turned to Bella.

"That's real cold, Sis. Hangin' me out to dry like that. It sounds like Emmett might have some competition in the prank department."

Emmett nodded his head excitedly. "Alright, B! This is going to be excellent. Now I've got extra motivation to get you up and running as fast as possible. You and I are gonna make the most awesome team ever. After all these years…finally a partner in crime to call my own," he wiped a mock tear from his face.

Everyone laughed, and I moved to stand and walk away, to make more room for Renee to sit beside her. As I stood however, Bella grabbed my hand, and a warmth unlike anything I'd ever felt before shot through me, all the way up my arm into my chest.

"Really, Edward. Thank you. So much. You have no idea what that means to me. I can't believe I didn't think of it. I think you know me better than I gave you credit for." She smiled so beautifully at me, and the warmth in my chest grew until it almost burned, pride swelling within me for pleasing her, for making her so happy with such a simple thing.

I squeezed her hand back in welcome before I walked over to sit with my mom and dad on the couch. Alice walked over to Bella, speaking softly in her ear for a moment. Bella smiled back at her, closed her eyes and nodded.

Standing up straight again, Alice clapped her hands, and adopted her drill sergeant voice. "Alright! All the boys need to vacate the premises immediately. You will notice the door directly at the back of the room, please make good use of it, and don't let it hit you on the way out. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Women only!"

Extremely irritated that Alice was already starting in on Bella again, I spoke through gritted teeth. "Alice, what are you doing?"

"It's okay, Edward. They're going to help me feel human again. I feel a bit grimy after all these days in a hospital bed. You guys go, get out of this place for a little while, get some fresh air. We'll be done in a couple of hours." Bella's word instantly calmed me, even if I was loathe to leave her and Lily.

"C'mon, Son. With Lily on their side, they outnumber us, and I could use a walk outside these walls," Charlie clapped me on the shoulder as he walked out of the room.

"Go on, boys, get out! You won't even recognize her when you come back, she'll be so stunning!" Alice shooed us out, closing the door without another word.

Only one thought remained in my mind.

_She already is. _

*

A couple of hours later, after wandering around aimlessly in Port Angeles, we got the call from Alice that we were 'allowed' to return to the hospital. I practically sprinted back, anxious to see my little girl again. I noticed Jasper giving me some funny looks as I tamped down my anxiety at being away from her, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he cornered me for my own 'you need therapy' lecture.

I didn't doubt he was right, I just couldn't focus on that yet. First, I wanted to make sure we got Lily and Bella settled into my parents' and get their own recovery underway before I dealt with my own issues. Some would call it avoidance, I preferred to call it putting others before myself.

The elevator took forever, and I ran all the way to the room, throwing the door open suddenly, causing Bella to flinch. I opened my mouth to apologize, but the words got stuck in my throat as I drank in her appearance for the first time. It was like the grocery store all over again.

Her eyes were brighter, her whole face appearing to glow. Her hair was smooth and shiny, framing her face perfectly. Alice had somehow worked her out of her hospital gown into a dark blue camisole and pajama pants set that made her pale skin look like porcelain. Her bruises and cuts were healing more each day, and the few scars left behind stood as stark reminders of her limitless strength. She looked nervous as I stood there gaping at her like an idiot, but I couldn't make any sound come out of my mouth.

Emmett took care of that for me, as he and the rest of our family pushed their way inside. He shoved me out of the way, before whistling obnoxiously at her.

"Damn, B! Lookin' good! If you weren't my newest little sis, you'd be in trouble!"

"Ooh, Uncle Em, you said a bad word!" Lily tattled, and I felt like a tool for just now remembering she was the reason for my rush back to the room. I grinned as I saw what Alice had done to her, dolling her up with glitter and pink gloss.

"Lily, you look beautiful," I told her, earning myself a proud grin in return. Catching Bella's eye once more, I was finally able to form a sentence. "You both do," I murmured softly.

She blushed immediately, nodding that she heard me as she looked away quickly. Lily was watching the two of us again, with the same glazed over look Alice got when she was plotting something devious.

_She's up to something._

As if she could read my mind, she looked up at me immediately.

"I love you, Daddy," she sang sweetly, a little _too_ innocently.

_Definitely up to something._

* * *

The day Rose brought Bella her laptop I thought she would explode with excitement. She couldn't stop thanking us enough, no matter how many times we tried to tell her to stop. The rest of the week passed quickly, but not always easily. Each day the doctors brought down her dosage of the Oxy, and each day she had to readjust all over again. Our mothers joked that she had the mood swings of a pregnant woman, but that just made her cry because she thought they were calling her fat.

Charlie had to excuse himself from the room when that happened, so he didn't make her more upset when he couldn't control his laughter.

Our parents, Lily, and I were the only ones to remain at the motel nearby. The others made day trips in from Seattle as they took care of their work responsibilities. The news had picked up on the rescue, and due to the national attention the case had received, the various networks were chomping at the bit for their chance at an exclusive interview. They stayed camped outside of the hospital and our motel, calling at all hours. I was more than eager to get back to the seclusion of my parent's house, as soon as possible.

Bella was set to be released tomorrow, and she couldn't wait. Renee, Phil, and Charlie would be staying with us for the first few days, and then they would be leaving to return to work themselves. Emmett had spent the last few days stocking up on vitamin supplements and bringing the exercise equipment up from the basement. Alice had taken it upon herself to make sure Bella had all of the amenities from her home in ours, taking care of Bella's bathroom essentials, and, to Alice's dismay, her comfort clothes.

_God, she would be so adorable in my Dartmouth t-shirt._

_Damnit, Cullen, quit that!_

I huffed out an angry breath, mentally slapping myself for the fiftieth time that day. As my head came back out of the clouds, I realized I had been daydreaming while staring right at Bella, _again_, and she was snapping her fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention.

"Edward, are you sure you're alright? Maybe you should get out of here for a little while. I wouldn't blame you at all, if I could, I would."

Recovering quickly, I joked, "You mean if I were in the hospital you wouldn't spend every waking minute pining away by my bedside?"

"Pshaw. That's what flower deliveries are for. I'd send you a really nice postcard, though. From the outside world," she sighed dreamily.

"Ouch, that's cold! I see how it is, I guess I should go somewhere I'd be more wanted," I pouted playfully.

"Whatever," she chided. "You keep your ass right there, buddy. If I'm stuck here, so are you. I've changed my mind, you're my prisoner."

My mind instantly flashed to images of a bedroom, Bella, and handcuffs, and as my pants tightened, I decided joking time was over, and I definitely needed some fresh air. I tried to smile, but it obviously didn't come out well, because her own smile fell.

"I was just kidding Edward. You look a little flushed. Go get some air. Lily's fine on the couch, and somebody should be back up here soon."

"I won't be a minute. I just need to get something to drink, I think."

Her eyes immediately fell to the cup of coffee in my hand, but she tried to smile anyway. Picking up her laptop, she started typing, effectively dismissing me from the room. I kissed Lily's forehead on my way out, but she didn't even stir in her sleep. Once outside the door, I took a moment to collect myself and bang my head against the wall.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot," I muttered over and over. I caught some movement at the corner of my eye, but when I looked up, I only saw some nurses pushing carts of supplies down the hall. Shaking it off as nothing, I moved to the elevators to find our parents in the cafeteria to let them know I was stepping out for a little while. If I had waited a few more moments before going downstairs, I would have seen the short, balding man walk straight into Bella's room.

*

**Who hates me right now? I couldn't resist, I'm sorry. Next chapter will be up very soon. **

**Who wants to know Bella and Jasper's conversation? Review and you shall receive.**

**I will post a teaser on the forum tomorrow. Link below:**

**http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8097**


	20. Chapter 20 Take Me Away

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. Copyright 2009-2010 Isakassees**

**A/N: Neverending chapter. Thank you for not killing me for the last cliffie. You guys continue to amaze me with your reviews, favorites, and recs. Thank you so very much. EBT beta'ed this for me, I'm a lucky bitch.**

Chapter 20: Take Me Away

BPOV

_Okay…that was weird._

I sighed heavily, shoving my laptop angrily down my lap.

_What the hell just happened?_

One minute, I was joking with Edward, and the next he was looking at me like he was in pain, and couldn't escape out of here fast enough.

_Maybe his coffee really was cold._

_Or, maybe he resents his perceived debt to you, and is only putting up with you because of Lily._

No, I refused to believe that. He and I had become such good friends over the last few days. He had spent hours in the hospital, getting to know me, getting to know my family. I _adored_ his family. It felt like that in less than a week I had gained two sisters and two brothers. Not to mention the awesomeness of Carlisle and Esme. But Edward…I just couldn't see him as a brother, no matter how hard I tried. I felt like an idiot being attracted to someone whose first priority was obviously his daughter, but I couldn't help it.

_He's just so…gah._

It wasn't just that he was such a loving father to a little girl that I loved more than anything. And it wasn't just that he was intelligent and witty and handsome and driven. There was this…_safety_ that I felt when he was near, an instinct I had that told me he would never let any harm come to me. The way he would swoop in to keep Emmett or Alice from being too enthusiastic around me, or the way he practically _growled_ at any male worker that entered my room. Normally that sort of protectiveness would have gotten on my nerves, because I didn't like being treated like I couldn't care for myself, but after everything that happened…I was trying to be grateful for all the people I now had in my life who were looking out for me, the best way they knew how.

_Still…it's hard to let go of twenty-five years of stubbornness overnight._

And my mood swings didn't help.

_Oh shit, I shouldn't start thinking about those, I'll just start crying._

I was equal parts anxious and nervous to get out of the hospital and go to the Cullens. I didn't know what Emmett had planned for my recovery, but I trusted Edward to keep him in check. And Rosalie too, for that matter. I wasn't sure who would be able to keep track of Alice, though. She was a force of nature.

The door clicked open, and I looked up quickly, hoping it was Edward back in a better mood. Instead, a short, tubby, bald guy slithered into the room, closing the door behind him softly. I tried not to panic, hoping he was simply lost and in the wrong room. I had my hand on the red call button for the nurse's station, but as he came towards me, I found myself frozen. He looked at me like I was a prize, and my gut told me he wasn't in my room by accident.

"There won't be any need for that, Miss Swan," he said softly, taking the remote from my hand.

"Wh…Wh…Wh-who are you?" I stuttered, trembling in fear.

He smiled, but there was no kindness in it. "I'm Michael Newton, and I'm a freelance reporter. I've been trying to get in touch with your camp to set up an interview, but they've been rather…resistant to my queries. So!" He clapped his hands together. "I've taken it upon myself to come and ask you some questions. I'm sure you don't mind, do you? Or would you prefer I wake the young Miss Cullen and ask her instead?" He glanced over at her with a sneer, and it snapped me out of my trance.

"Stay away from her!" I shouted.

He placed a stubby finger against my lips, and I choked back vomit. "Shh, Miss Swan. Wouldn't want to cause anyone to come running in suddenly, or wake up the sleeping little one, would we?"

Tears began to fall from my eyes as I shook my head back and forth once.

He wrinkled his red nose at me, and adopted a condescending tone. "So, let's begin. I'm going to start by taking a catalogue of all the injuries you sustained during your captivity. I hope you don't mind. Please feel free to describe how each one was acquired in detail as we go."

He pulled a camera up, and started to reach for my shirt to raise it. I jerked out of his grasp, causing me to wince and gasp as my ribs twisted in ways they weren't ready to.

"Come now, Miss Swan, I won't hurt you. The public has a right to know what happened to you, and I will make quite a bundle giving that story to them. Please cooperate. It will be so much easier that way."

I started to panic, my breaths coming shorter and shorter as he reached for my shirt again, but he was interrupted by my door opening.

"Hey Bella, I'm sorry about before, I'm just…Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in here?!" Edward bellowed, running over to my bed and throwing the man by his collar against the far side of the room. Lily woke up with a start, looking around wildly and screaming as she took in the scene before her.

"Lily! Come here!" I cried, waving her over as sobs threatened to overtake my body.

She ran over to me, jumping into my bed, and I pushed her face into my chest to shield her from viewing the violence before us. Edward was like a possessed animal, screaming and punching the man over and over again. I managed to get my wits about me long enough to hit the call button, but they had already heard the commotion. Nurses and security guards hustled into the room, separating Edward and the reporter swiftly from each other. Edward thrashed against them, shouting obscenities at him, while the nurses tried to stop the blood spewing from the other man's nose.

Our family appeared in the hallway and tried to enter the room, but the security guards blocked their access. My dad was shouting at them to let him by, but it was Emmett that made his way through first, shoving the guard out of his way with ease.

"What the fuck is going on in here?!"

"That man! I want him arrested! I was assaulted! I'm a member of the free press, and I have every right to be here and ask questions!" Newton shouted, mistaking Emmett for more security.

I watched as teddy bear Emmett was replaced by grizzly bear Emmett, whose source of hatred withered under his stare. He tried to lunge for the reporter himself, and the guards that had been holding Edward dropped his arms to grab for Emmett. It was utter chaos in my room, and I couldn't take it any longer. One second, Lily was screaming, crying into my chest, when suddenly I wasn't in my hospital room anymore. Images of the cabin were flashing in front of me, one after another, and I shrieked trying to jump away from them.

I could hear more muffled shouts around me, but there was no one else in the cabin. Phantom pains hit all over my body, attacking me from all sides. I heard screaming, and it wasn't until I had to gasp to breathe that I realized the screaming was coming from me. I couldn't catch my breath, and I felt a pressure around my face, which I tried to claw desperately at. Something held my hands, firmly, but gently, rubbing them softly.

As I gasped, I was able to recognize a scent that reminded me of safety, of home. It was so close, and I tried to lean towards it, hoping it could lead me away from this place in my mind where I was stuck. Whatever was holding my hands tightened around them, and I felt myself being rocked back and forth slightly, and the angry voices that had been surrounding me were finally silenced.

"_Please, love, please. Come back. It's over. Come back," _a soft deep voice crooned in my ear.

The nightmare changed from the cabin to black spots flashing in my vision, but I tried to keep focusing on the voice. This voice was…good, it made me feel warm and safe, like being wrapped in velvet.

"_All you need is love, all you need is love, all you need is love," _a tiny voice rang in my other ear, joined quickly by the deep voice, working together in melody.

The black spots slowly dissipated, and I choked in a deep breath as Edward and Lily's tearstained faces appeared before me. Edward held both of my hands in his against his cheeks, continuing to rock me as he and Lily sang our song. I swallowed back a sob and ripped my right hand from his, throwing my arm around Lily's body and cradling her closer to my own. Leaning my head forward into Edward's chest, he released my hand to wrap his around the back of my neck, running his fingers through my hair and massaging my neck and shoulder gently.

I breathed him in brokenly, letting the scent of lavender and sandalwood and something indescribably _him_ soothe me.

"I'm sorry," I choked out.

"No, no, no, shhh," he quieted me, resting his head on top of mine, still rocking the three of us together.

"Please stay," I whispered.

"Always, Bella, always."

He started to push me back onto the bed, but I fisted his shirt in my left hand frantically, ignoring the tug of my IV.

Tilting my head up with his hand, he assured me, "No, no, no, Beautiful. I'm not leaving. Just lay back. I'll stay, I promise." I tried to keep from shaking as he lay us back down, but his hands never left my body, and he lifted me up to the left of the bed easily. He crawled in beside me, laying Lily directly on top of his chest. Reaching his left hand up blindly, he found my face, gently urging it down onto his shoulder, which I nuzzled thankfully.

More than exhausted, I slipped away peacefully, into a calm and much needed sleep.

*

Minutes or possibly hours later, I woke up, feeling simultaneously warm on one side of my body and chilly on the other. Blinking slowly, I saw my right side was completely covered by Edward and Lily, and my mom was holding my left hand out from under my blanket, with Esme sitting beside her. They noticed me stirring, and smiled at me softly. Esme stood and kissed the side of Renee's head, excusing herself silently.

"Hi, sweetie."

"Hi, Mom. I'm kind of cold."

She pointed up at the bags of fluid hanging from my IV pole. "The nurse just started a new bag of saline. She said it might chill you a bit. Here's another blanket." She draped another over me from the foot of my bed, then took my hand again.

"Do you need anything else? Are you hungry or thirsty?" she asked worriedly.

"No. Shh. I don't want to wake them." I gestured at the sleepers beside me.

She nodded quickly, running her fingers over my face.

"How did you sleep?"

I thought about it for a moment, and realized I couldn't remember any dreams at all. "Good, Mom. Really good."

"I'm glad, sweetie. I was hoping they would do their job."

Looking at Edward and Lily again, I was confused. "Huh?"

"Oh, not them, silly. These," she reached under my pillow, pulling out dozens of worry dolls. "I thought they would work."

I closed my eyes briefly so she couldn't see them roll, but inwardly enjoyed my mom's quirkiness. I had really missed it.

'Thanks, Mom."

"You're going to love staying with the Cullen's, honey. Esme will take good care of you. She's so…motherly. Way better at it than me," she chuckled.

I frowned. "What are you talking about, Mom? I couldn't ask for a better mom than you."

She rolled her eyes. "Sweetie, you and I both know you've always been the mom in our relationship. I was always the Peter Pan, refusing to grow up."

I shook my head at her. "Mom, all this?" I pointed at the worry dolls in her hands and the crystals hanging from _everywhere_ on her body. "That's how you care for me. And I know I rib you for being so eccentric sometimes, and I call it a bunch of hocus pocus most of the time, but it really means a lot to me. I almost missed your cooking while I was gone."

She snorted. "Liar. I ought to kick Phil's ass. He's been lying to me for years. I really thought I'd gotten better, you know. I even cooked for the Cullen's."

My jaw dropped. "Oh no, you didn't. And they're still letting me come stay with them?"

She swatted at me playfully. "Yes, smartass. Lucky you."

Her smile fell, and she gazed at me more seriously. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

Dropping my eyes to her shirt, I swallowed hard. "You mean about earlier?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm better now. I'm not really sure what happened. That reporter came in, and I was trying not to have a panic attack, and then Edward came in and started fighting him. It was _so loud_ and all of a sudden, I just wasn't here in the hospital anymore. And I didn't know how to get out."

"Were you…_back there_?"

I nodded, blinking back tears. "I'm afraid it'll always be that way. That it'll always haunt me, and pop up whenever I'm stressed. I have _no idea_ what happened while I was…_out of it_. And what if that means I'm not stable? What if I'd hurt Lily? Or someone else?"

"Bella," she smiled proudly. "I don't think you could hurt that child if you tried. You've always been a natural caretaker, but…the way you are with her, honey…I always joked I never wanted to be a grandmother because it would make me seem old. But Bella, you've become as much a mother to that little girl as if you'd given birth to her yourself. I wish you could see it the way I can, from the outside, the way your auras mesh together. You two are peas in a pod."

"But I'm _not_ her mother," I acknowledged sadly. "And what happens once I'm all healed and go back home?"

My mom's eyes drifted over to Edward and Lily sleeping beside me, before she simply smiled. "Give it some time. What happens may surprise you."

*

My mom left soon after our conversation to fetch me some dinner, and go find Phil, who had been staying mostly out of the way during their stay here. My mom told me he didn't want to overstep any boundaries, since it was really my dad's place to be here for me, and Phil and I honestly didn't know each other very well. I had only lived with them for a month before moving to Forks to live with my dad back in high school.

Edward woke up shortly after my mom left.

"Oh shit. I'm squishing you aren't I?" he mumbled sleepily.

I giggled. "Ooh, Daddy. You said shit. That's a bad word."

He snorted, poking me in the stomach. "Well, I hate to break it to you, _Mommy_, but you just said it, too."

My smile fell immediately. "What did you just call me?"

He slid Lily down his body carefully, and propped himself up on his elbow to look down on me, fully serious now. "Bella, I never knew what Lily was missing before she found you. I thought what my family and I gave her was enough, but she's this whole other person when she's around you. I would never want to pressure you into accepting a role you never wanted, I'm not looking for someone to pawn her off on, but you've taken it on since that first day we met you. You're more of a mother to her than anyone she's ever had, and I can't take that away. From either of you."

Tears started to fall, but he wiped them away swiftly. "But aren't you worried she's just attached to me because of what we went through? And what about when you get married?"

I tried to ignore the pang I felt in my heart as I said those words, choosing not to analyze the bitterness I felt at seeing Edward with someone, the idea of Lily playing with another 'mommy'.

His eyes tightened slightly, but he only answered my first question. "I'll be honest. At first, I was a little worried about that. But she functions fine when she's away from you. She's had some nightmares, and she's nervous around strangers, but her attachment to you runs much deeper than your experience. I've talked at length with Jasper about it, and he agrees that her desire to imitate you is totally normal for her age, regardless of what happened to the two of you. She's done it with Alice and my mom, and she's even taken on some of Renee's mannerisms."

"God help us," I laughed.

He grinned back at me. "Don't worry, you're still her favorite. I'm just afraid of when the day comes and you two gang up on me. You've got a lot of influence over her, you know."

I sobered instantly. "Edward, I would _never_ go against you when you're trying to parent her. I know we pull the _**look**_ on you sometimes, but I would never seriously contradict you."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes I need to be contradicted. Just not in front of her, please. She'd be on your side in a heartbeat. I tend to be a little…anxious sometimes, and it makes it hard for me to step outside the box and see things from another light."

"I don't mean to pry…What about her real mom?"

He shrugged. "She's not in our life. I used to be angry about it, but I realize now, she did what was right for her. She didn't want to be a mother, and at least she was willing to give me my daughter before leaving. I wouldn't fault someone who gave up their child for adoption, so I can't be angry at her. Did someone in my family mention her to you?"

Biting my lip, I answered truthfully. "Lily said she heard Rose mention it. She told me when…when we were away. She overheard her arguing with Emmett."

Pressing Lily tighter to his body, his chin quivered slightly. "What did she say?"

Wishing I'd never opened my big fat mouth at all, I told him anyway. "She said she was playing at their house one day, and when Emmett came home, he and Rose were talking in another room. She heard Rose yelling and calling her some choice names, and she heard her say her mom didn't want her."

Closing his eyes in pain, he whispered. "I never wanted her to know she didn't want her. I didn't know what to tell her, but I didn't want her to know that."

Slowly, I raised my left hand up and brushed his hair off his forehead. He opened his eyes, and they were forest green, with tears swimming in them.

"Do you know what she told me after that?" I asked softly.

He shook his head slowly, not breaking our gaze.

"That she didn't care. Because she knew that her daddy wanted her. That she was your princess. That you cooked together, and that you sang to her. When she told me all about her life that night, there was no sadness in any of her stories. She knew without a doubt that she was loved unconditionally."

He rubbed his hand roughly over his face, and I looked away as he tried to slyly wipe his tears.

"Thank you for that, Bella."

I giggled, as a memory floated back into my mind.

Confused, he asked, "What?"

Smiling, I answered, "I was just remembering. She almost gave me a heart attack once. I don't remember how long we'd been there, but she was starting to get cabin fever, _literally_. I don't know what we were doing, but he complimented her, telling her she was so smart, _just like her daddy_." He sucked in a harsh breath, but I continued. "And she…she stuck her little chin straight out, looked him square in the eye, and told him 'Yes I am, just like _my daddy_.' He didn't catch on, but…" I exhaled a long breath.

"She was so brave," I finished softly, slowly remembering more and more, but staying grounded as I felt Edward's presence beside me.

"I don't know how you lasted there. Part of me wants to know what all happened, and part of me thinks it's better if I never find out, because I'll go upstairs and pull his plug myself."

My heart dropped, as did his face when he realized what he'd let slip.

"Fucking Christ, Bella. I was _not _supposed to tell you that. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Please don't freak out. Let me get the doctor, we'll get you something."

"Shut up. Tell me. Tell me now. What are you talking about? He's here? He's in this hospital?" I struggled to control my breathing. I needed to know this.

"Okay, _shit_. Yes, he's in this hospital, but I _swear_ to you Bella, he can't hurt you. He's barely hanging on, and he's on life support. He's in a permanent vegetative state, and he just contracted a Staph infection two days ago. He can't hurt you, Bella. Ever again."

I gaped like a fish for a few moments before I could complete a thought. "How? All I did was…was fight him, there's no way he was that fucked up. He drove away! How? How?"

"I'll tell you, but you have to calm down for me. Deep breaths, in and out, deep breaths."

I followed his instruction, trying to settle down. If a nurse came in to try and sedate me right now, I would probably kick her ass. Once he determined that I was calm enough, he continued.

"Alright. He ran out of gas or just lost control of his car on a road called Edgewood. It's at the south end of the forest, and that's where the police found him. They tried to approach him and talk him out of the car, but he tried to run for it. He shot at them, they shot back. He was hit, and it took them a long time to resuscitate him. When his brain went so long without oxygen, it left him in the state he's in now. He's not going to wake up. The hospital's just making sure there are no relatives to contact before turning off the life support. But he _can't_ hurt you, do you understand that? Please tell me you understand that. Fuck, Emmett and your dad are going to take turns kicking my ass for this one. Fuck, fuck, fuck…"

"So I didn't do that to him. Right?"

He nodded solemnly.

"But he'll never wake up. And he can't get us. Ever. Right?"

He nodded again, smiling halfway.

"My dad told me they identified the bodies in the freezer. He killed them. And he was so crazy he didn't even realize it. That could have been us. But he can never hurt us again. We're safe. We're safe!" I laughed shakily, as hysterical tears began to fall from my eyes. I tried to throw my arms around his neck to hug him, but the tubes in my IV tugged.

"Ow. Okay, no hugging. Oh my God. Thank you, Edward. For telling me. I won't rat you out, I promise."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and hugged me gently.

"It'd be worth it for them to kick my ass if it helps you feel safe."

Pulling back, he cocked his head at me. "I'm so glad we get to keep you."

"Are you seriously telling me that I can be a permanent fixture in her life? Were you here earlier? Did you not see how I flipped the fuck out? I should be put in a padded room," I huffed, and he just sat there, shaking his head at me.

"Bella, stop it. You do not need to be put in a padded room. No straight-jackets, even. Yes, I was here, and I saw it all. I'll agree that, for a while, you probably shouldn't be alone with her, _only _because I'm worried what might happen to either one of you if you suffered a panic attack or flashback. But before wasn't your fault. It never is. And I'm really sorry we set you off. I can't believe I lost it like that in front of the two of you. I must have scared the shit out of Lily, and obviously you. I can't believe you're alright letting me be this close to you."

He dropped his eyes from mine, swallowing hard. "I'm no better than _him_."

I inhaled sharply at his words. "Edward, I want you to listen to me, and listen to me good. The only reason I'm not slapping you right now is because Lily has my right hand in a death grip and my left is hooked up to a shit load of tubes."

His eyes shot to mine, but he was smart, and stayed silent.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You are _nothing_ like him. Do you hear me? _Nothing_. _He_…James was evil, and crazy, and violent with absolutely no rhyme or reason. He took two complete strangers and made us play house with him because he was too fucked up to realize he had already killed his own family.

"That man that was in here earlier, Newton I think he said his name was…he was a leech. He wanted a story, to see all my injuries. He was trying to expose my body to him _for the sake of his story_. I was completely frozen, and if you hadn't come in when you did, I don't know what would have happened to me. Seeing you fight him wasn't what made me go crazy. You got him away from me, as soon as you came in the room, I felt safe.

"I was crying, and Lily was on top of my body, and I just started feeling pains everywhere, and it was _so loud_. All of sudden, I was _back there_, and I couldn't find a way out. There was no one else there, I couldn't find Lily or anyone, and I couldn't breathe. But you brought me back, and never for one second was I afraid of you. I _know_ that you would never hurt me, or let anyone else."

He clenched his jaw as he tried to keep his tears at bay. After a minute, he cleared his throat and offered me a weak smile.

"See? Case in point. I need help seeing outside the box. You just saved me from my requisite three days of brooding and self-doubt. And Bella…Thank you. For giving me your trust. I appreciate you not slapping me as well. And thank you for being a part of Lily's life. If that _is_ what you want."

"Of course I do."

"Unggh," Lily groaned beneath him, and we both smiled, looking down at her.

"Good morning, sunshine," I sang.

"Mmm, Bella. Daddy? I took two naps? Does that mean I can stay up all night?"

Edward laughed heartily at her. "I don't think so, Lilybug. How are you feeling, sweetie? I'm sorry if I scared you earlier."

She looked up at him, blinking and confused. "Daddy, you're not scary."

He ran his hand through her hair as he gazed down at her. "But you were crying, and you didn't want to leave Bella."

"I was crying 'cause there was lots of strangers and everybody was yelling and Bella was sad. I never want to leave Bella."

He caught my eye and winked. "That's true, you never do. I think we need to for a little while, though, so we can go get some dinner. It's pretty late."

My heart started pounding nervously as I thought about being alone in the room once more, but I knew he was right, and she needed to eat. His back was probably killing him from lying in this bed, too.

"The sooner you eat your dinner and go to bed, the sooner tomorrow will come. And then I'll be coming home with you!" I tried to smile through my growing panic, and blinked rapidly to keep from crying.

"Oh my gosh, Daddy! We have to go to bed extra early tonight so we can make tomorrow hurry up and get here!" She slid off the bed, bouncing from foot to foot. He rose slowly beside me, and I clutched the sheets tightly beneath my fingers for support.

"Let me just call somebody to come back up here, princess, and then we'll go."

I looked at him questioningly, wondering if he could read my mind. He caught my eye, and pursed his lips at me.

"If you think for one second that I'm going to leave you alone in this room again, you don't know me very well at all. Someone will be in this room with you at all times until your release tomorrow, got it?"

I made my face a serious mask, and responded. "Yes, Mr. Cullen, sir."

His eyes glazed for a second before he recovered and smacked himself in the forehead.

"Sorry, still waking up. Alright, who would you like for me to call?"

"My mom's getting me something to eat right now, actually. She should be up soon."

"Well, then we'll just wait for her."

As if on cue, my mom entered a couple of minutes later with a light knock, bringing in some soup and toast.

"Oh, everybody's awake. Edward, your family's downstairs. I think they're going out to eat soon, if you'd like to join them."

He smiled at Renee. "Sounds great, Renee. Will you be in here the whole time?"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Edward, Charlie and Emmett are way ahead of you. They're taking shifts over the next sixteen hours to make sure she's not left alone until her release tomorrow."

"She's gonna go home tomorrow, she's gonna go home tomorrow, she's gonna go home tomorrow," Lily sang repeatedly.

"Okay, you guys, get out of here before you miss dinner. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you!" I sang back to her.

Edward swept her into his arms and grinned at me. "We do, too. See you tomorrow, Bella."

"Bye, Bella! It's gonna be greaaaat!"

They left the room with a flourish, and my mom set down the food before me.

As I began to eat, my mom admired my cast, where Lily had drawn castles and bunnies, and every member of our families.

"That child really is the sweetest little thing, isn't she?"

I smiled happily up at her.

"I've always thought so."

* *

(August 19th)

The next day came not a moment too soon, because Emmett sawing logs in the corner kept me up half the night. By nine, my entire room was flooded with both of our families, until there was hardly enough space for Dr. Smith to come in.

"Alright, Bella, I bet you're glad to be going home today."

I grinned, nodding.

"We're taking one last blood and urine sample, and we'll be checking your weight once more as well to complete your chart for your future doctor. You've completed the ten-day weaning of the Oxy. How are you feeling?"

Shrugging, I answered truthfully. "Good, a little anxious. I really want to get out of here."

Everyone laughed softly, and the doctor beamed at me.

"I don't blame you, Bella. I'm leaving the decision of an anti-depressant up to you and your regular doctor, but I am sending you home with a prescription for Ativan, in case of a panic attack, and Subuxone, to help with any cravings you might feel. After being weaned off your dependency, I hope you should be alright, but it's always better to be safe than sorry. Someone in your family can get these filled in the pharmacy downstairs before we release you in a couple of hours. You should be able to manage your pain with over the counter pain relievers, just take as directed.

"I understand you'll be working with a physical therapist as you heal?"

"That would be me," Emmett bowed pretentiously.

"I'll speak with you sometime before leaving today so we're clear on what she can and can't do."

"Not necessary, but that's fine. I got my B handled!"

"Everybody needs to clear out for a minute so the nurse can come in and get those samples, and she'll pull the IV out when she's done. On a personal note, I'd just like to say, you are an extraordinary woman, Bella. I wish you all the best, and with the best intentions I send you on your way, and hope we never meet again."

I blushed furiously. "Thank you, Dr. Smith."

*

It took a couple of hours to get everything sorted out, but after my urine and blood came back clean of infection, and I was congratulated by the nurses for gaining three pounds, I was officially released from Olympic Medical Center. After going back and forth with Alice for a few minutes, I was suited into a pair of yoga pants split over my cast, a ballet flat, and my precious U Dub sweatshirt. Before I knew it, I was being scooped up by Emmett and placed in a wheelchair to be taken down to the car outside the back entrance to escape the reporters camped in front.

_Finally! Going home to Seattle. Eeeee!_

I barely contained my inner girlish squeal as I was brought downstairs. The ride back to Seattle in Edward's car was filled with laughs as we played the 'alphabet game', 'slugbug', and sang along to a Disney Princess Sing-Along album. Edward graciously took all the hits for every VW we saw, and Lily fell asleep about half an hour outside of Seattle, after a rousing game of 'counting trees', which was hilarious to me because she couldn't count past twelve and she always skipped eight.

"Are you comfortable? Warm enough?"

I smiled at him, nodding. "Yeah, I'm good. We can turn it off if you want."

We reached for the dial at the same time, and our fingers connected in a shock. I jumped slightly, pulling back quickly.

"Sorry. Static."

He laughed. "The perils of a long car ride. Are you excited?"

"Definitely. A little nervous, too."

He frowned. "Why are you nervous?"

"I don't know exactly," I shrugged, feeling silly. "It's a new place, and I'm still getting to know everyone. I'm going to need all this help, and I don't want to be in the way."

"I'll stop you there. You'll never be in the way. You're welcome to stay as long as you want. Stay forever if you like. Let us take care of _you_ now. Be good, or I'll have to take away your books."

I scrunched my eyebrows together, confused. "My books? How are my books there?"

He smirked, looking at me through the corner of his eyes. "Alice."

"Aaah," I sighed. "Enough said. God, I'll kill her if she doesn't have my sweats and stuff there. Not that anything fits me right now anyway."

"Don't worry, I've got plenty of old college t-shirts you can borrow if she falls through on the clothing front."

He shook his head at himself, coughing, and looked out the window. I wasn't sure what had just happened, but things suddenly felt awkward.

"Music?" I suggested.

He grinned at me. "Anything but Disney. Here, I think I've got something you'll like."

He tapped a few buttons on his dash and iPod, and the White Album began to come through the speakers.

Clapping, I beamed at him. "This one's my favorite! Perfect."

We rode the rest of the way in comfortable silence, and I couldn't stop the grin that spread as we entered Seattle's city limits.

"Home," I sighed.

"Feel good? Haven't changed your mind, have you? This is your last chance to escape to your apartment Cullen-free," he laughed weakly, as though he was actually worried I might be having second thoughts.

"Oh no, Cullen. You're not getting out of this that easy. You are hereby my slave, to do with as I wish until I deem your services no longer needed."

He pinched my forearm lightly. "Oh, I see. Princess Bella, huh, is that it?"

"Of Blue," I nodded solemnly, rubbing the place where he had just pinched nostalgically.

"Hey, I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm sorry if I did…" he asked worriedly.

"No, no," I shook my head, remembering. "It's just…I'm not sure whether you want to hear this kind of stuff or not…"

"I do. Anything."

"Lily…she used to pinch me to keep me awake when I had to read to her. She would hold my arm, and I would read, and by the time we finished I would have dozens of these little fingernail marks in my arm, but…she saved me from so much trouble…Oh, and I forgot the cooking! She'd stand next to the stove and pinch me when I would start to zone out." Remembering that first night, I couldn't help but laugh. "You should have seen the look on her face the first time she helped me cook, and I warned her about the stove."

"Did you get the you're-so-dumb-I-can't-believe-it look? I'm very familiar with that one myself," he smiled, nodding and encouraging me to go on.

"Ah, I didn't know there was already a name for it. Yes, that sounds like the one."

"So…" he hesitated, and I wanted to encourage him as he had me. I trusted him not to push too much.

"So…?"

"So…she had plenty to eat? I used to get myself so worked up, worrying if she was starving somewhere. I'm sorry, I know you weren't fed well, it's so insensitive of me to ask, forget it, I'm sorry…"

I shook my head at him. "Edward, it's fine, calm down. Do you need an Ativan? I have plenty. Yes, she always had plenty to eat. Three meals a day, everyday, I promise."

He nodded, letting out a slow breath, the tension leaving his shoulders and his grip on the steering wheel. "Thank you."

We pulled up to a massive gate, and he pushed a button remote attached to his visor. I tried to keep my jaw closed as I took in the houses, or mansions rather, that we drove past. Winding through several streets, we approached the largest house yet at the end of a cul-de-sac, and I could no longer hold my jaw up. It was three stories with ceiling to floor windows, and beautiful landscaping, right up against the tree line.

"I don't remember anyone in your family mentioning that they lived in a hotel, Edward."

"We charge by the hour, too, so I hope you're good for it."

I grinned, admiring its splendor. "It's really beautiful, Edward."

"Thanks," he replied softly. "It's my mom's pride and joy. And it keeps us safe and locked away from all those leeches trying to get our story. It looks like Alice beat us here, little speed demon. We need them out here to help get us inside."

He tapped his horn a couple of times, and the massive front door opened, Alice looking even tinier behind it. She and Jasper rushed out to us, opening the car door for me, and ending all silence for the rest of the night.

"You guys made it! Finally! Bella, I can't wait for you to see your room, I hope you love it. I think I've got everything you'll need in there and your bathroom. You'll be right down the hall from Lily, and next door to Edward. You've got a balcony outside your room, too, if you ever want some fresh air. Since it's upstairs, and you can't get down without help, I put a little fridge in there with some water and snacks just in case. Hmm, what else am I forgetting?"

"Ali, how about letting her get inside first? Let 'em stretch their legs and get something to eat. Plenty of time for the grand tour. Esme'll want to be here for that, anyway," Jasper chided, calming her in a way no one else seemed able to.

She rolled her eyes, bouncing excitedly. "Fine, fine. How are we doing this? Um, Edward, you come get Bella, Jasper you get Lily, and I'll start bringing in the bags. Okay? Great." She threw herself into his trunk, pulling out bags the size of her own body as Jasper followed orders and opened up Lily's door.

"Edward, I'm sure I can hobble. Or let me practice using the crutches. You don't have to carry me."

He groaned. "And so it begins. It's just my luck that I'm forced into servitude with the world's most difficult patient. You can't use the crutches until your ribs are all healed. I'm carrying you, so get over it. Princesses shouldn't hobble, anyway," he smirked, and swept me up without another word.

"Oh!" I yelped, trying to hide my wince as he jostled my ribs.

"Shit, I hurt you. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I spoke through gritted teeth.

He huffed. "Right. I make that same face when I'm fine, too. Am I going to have to take your blood pressure hourly to make sure your pain is regulated, or can I trust you to tell me if you're hurting and need something?"

"If you hover over me like that, my blood pressure will go up just from irritation alone, pal."

"Bella…"

"Yes, fine. I promise to tell you."

He gave me a cocky smile. "So let's try again. Did I hurt you just now?"

"A bit. My ribs. But I'm fine now."

"Was that so hard?"

"No, slave. Carry on," I giggled.

He grinned at me, carrying me over the threshold to his parent's home. "We have arrived, my lady."

Jasper came in behind us, carrying a slowly waking up Lily, who was rubbing her eyes.

"Huh? We're home? Oh! We're home! Bella, do you like my home? Do you wanna see my room?"

Edward cut her off. "Lily, let's go get some lunch and wait for everybody else to get here. There's lots of time to show Bella the house. She's going to be in the room right down the hall from you."

"But can't I sleep with her now that she's here, Daddy?"

Edward and Jasper shared glances, and Jasper surreptitiously shook his head in the negative. Edward sighed and smiled tightly at Lily.

"No, princess, you're a big girl, you'll sleep in your own room. But you'll get to spend all day with Bella tomor-"

"But Daddy! I want to! That's not fair! Bella! Tell Daddy!"

Even though I _was_ slightly disappointed to not get to sleep with her, I knew it wasn't a healthy habit to have. And she couldn't start trying to pit us against each other. In my sternest voice, I told her, "Lily, you have to listen to your Daddy. He already gave you his answer, and that's the end of it. He's right. You're a big girl, and you should sleep in your own room."

She pursed her lips and turned her head into Jasper's shoulder, ignoring us both. Leaning into Edward's ear, I whispered, "Maybe…maybe if she's good and sleeps in her room all week, we could have a family sleepover as a reward?" I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't overstepping.

He squeezed me gently, smiling. Whispering back to me, he said, "That sounds great. Let me run it by Jasper, just to be sure. Thank you for backing me up."

Looking him straight in the eye, I told him, "Always."

Emmett burst into the house, followed by everyone else in our family, and I was taken out of Edward's arms faster than I could blink.

"Jesus, Emmett! Be careful with her!" Edward shouted.

"Chill, Eddie. I know what I'm doing. B's fine, isn't that right?"

"I am, thank you. I was just wondering…since you like calling him Eddie so much, can I call you Emmie?" I tried imitating Lily's _**look**_ as best I could, and I could see everyone hiding their smirks around us, especially Rose and Edward.

"Uh…I don't usually go by that, but…shit, I can't say no to that face. You can call me whatever you like, B."

I straightened up immediately, arching my eyebrow and grinning at him. "Excellent. Thanks, _Emmie_."

"Why do I feel like I've just been played?"

"Because you're smarter than you look sometimes," Rose quipped.

"I'm hungry." Lily's quiet voice silenced everyone.

I looked over at her cautiously, and she met my eyes briefly.

"Are you mad at me Bella? For being ugly to you?"

I gave her a forgiving smile. "Nope," I popped. "And I bet your Daddy isn't either."

Edward walked over to Jasper and pulled her from his arms. I heard her muffled "sorry" from where Emmett held me, and I was glad she let it go so easily. Edward had confided in me how hard it was for him to not give in to her.

"Well, I'd love to make everyone a late lunch. Emmett, will you take Bella into the kitchen and help her get settled?" Esme's sweet voice belied her order, and no one ever told Esme no.

"Yes, ma'am." He began walking towards the kitchen, slightly ahead of everyone else. Speaking under his breath, he asked me, "B, you don't eat like your mom, right? I mean, you're not gonna begging me for tofu and junk, right?"

"Emmett, as soon as you'll let me, I'll make you the best lasagna you've ever had, I promise. Tofu-free."

"Eggplant-free too? She's pretty much ruined that for me, too."

"Absolutely no eggplant. Pure starchy, cheesy, meaty goodness I assure you. It's not her fault, you know. She really had no idea. Phil's been lying to her for years to be nice. She really thought she'd figured it out."

He looked at me incredulously as he set me down gently in a chair. "But doesn't she have tastebuds?"

"Yes, Emmett, I do. But I happen to like my cooking, thank you very much."

He jumped and his ears turned red, not realizing my mother had entered right behind him. "Uh, Renee, uh, I'm sorry, I love your food, I just…"

"Oh, Emmett. No you don't, and that's okay. I promise to stay far away from the oven for the next few days while I'm here."

"Oh, thank God," he muttered under his breath.

She rolled her eyes and sat beside me, picking up my hand. "How was the drive in, sweetie? Are you tired?"

"A little. Maybe after we eat something we could take a nap?"

"That'd be nice, sweetie. I'm going to miss you. I could stay, if you need me. Phil has to go back, but I could stay for a few more days…"

She was being sweet, but I knew she was way too co-dependent on him to be able handling being away from him for any length of time. And she _hated_ Washington weather.

"The Cullens will take care of me, Mom. If I need you, I'll call. Thank you for offering, though."

"I'll be coming in on the weekends to see you too, Bells."

"Dad, you don't have to come up _every_ weekend. You can't leave Billy to catch all those fish on his own," I teased.

"You're more important to me than fishing, Bells," he argued gruffly.

I grinned at him, still trying to adjust to this more emotional side of Charlie that had emerged since my return. Looking around the kitchen, I saw Lily helping Esme make sandwiches for everyone, and to see her getting to make food with her family almost started a crying jag.

_Fucking mood swings._

But then Emmett plopped down across the table from me and started talking business.

"Alright, B. For lunch you'll be having a protein and fiber shake with a serving of fruit and vegetables each blended in. I'm throwing in your vitamins and fish oil for the day, too, so it's going to taste like crap, but you're going to drink all of it. You do, and I'll let you eat what everybody is having this time around. Don't hurt yourself, though, because I'm going to be making you eat again in about three hours. We need some meat on those bones!"

"Yes, Emmett," I sighed.

*

After stomaching the most disgusting shake in history, Emmett carried me upstairs to my room. I was awed by all the work Alice had put into making it comfortable for me. She'd placed my books in a bookshelf in the room, and the closet and dresser was full of clothes, most of which I didn't recognize, but at least they looked comfortable. The bathroom had all my soaps and shampoo in it already, and the bedsheets were even the same color as mine at home.

I was too sleepy to really get to enjoy it all, and Emmett laid me down carefully onto my bed, where my mom crawled in beside me. She sat up next to me, and started running her fingers through my hair, the same way she used to when I was little.

"Thanks, Mom," I slurred.

"Shh. Sleep," she cooed, and I could do nothing but comply.

*

"_Bella. Hey Bella._"

A finger poking my face and a whisper tickling my ear shook me out of my sleep, and I looked around the room unfocusedly for the source of my annoyance. Turning my head, I came face to face with a bright-eyed Little Thing.

"Hey Bella, are you awake?"

I laughed at her. "I am now, stinker. What's going on?"

She climbed onto the bed with me, curling up beside me. "I was waiting for you to wake up, but you were taking too long. I'm apposed to make sure I don't bother you. Am I bothering you, Bella?"

"You could never bother me, Lily. I'm awake now, and I slept long enough. What did you do while I was asleep?"

"I played Polly Pockets with my daddy. Can I do your makeup?"

"Whoa, what? I don't really wear makeup, sweetie. We aren't going anywhere are we?"

"I just want to help you be beautiful like Alice did. Please?" she begged.

_Look away now, Bella! Before it's too late!_

_Fuck. Foiled again by __**the look**__._

"Alright, Lily. I don't think I have any makeup here, though."

She jumped off the bed and went into my bathroom, digging around in the drawers for a few moments before returning with handfuls of various compacts.

"That's not mine," I marveled.

"Sure it is. Alice," she said simply.

I eyed the products with disdain as I pushed myself gingerly up the bed. Trying to breathe deeply through the pain, I made myself dizzy for a second before I recovered. Lily was too busy sorting through her eyeshadows to notice my trouble, and I masked my struggle quickly when she looked up at me.

"Okay. You've gots to be really still. Close your eyes."

"Yes, ma'am."

She worked in complete silence, and she caked on more shadow and blush than I had probably ever worn total in my life. She nearly blinded me with the mascara, and I blinked rapidly to clear my watering eyes.

"Oops, sorry Bella!"

"S'okay sweetie. Just give me a second." Once my vision cleared I saw the tube of red lipstick in her hand, and I resigned myself to going to dinner looking like a clown. Staying as still as possible, I was actually quite impressed how well she did applying the lipstick.

"There. All done. You want to do mine now?"

"Are you allowed to play with makeup?"

"Yeah, Daddy says it's okay as long as I don't walk in the street."

"That doesn't make any sense. You're never supposed to walk in the street."

"He just doesn't want me to look like I walk in the street."

I was utterly confused. "What does walking in the stree-…He doesn't want you to look like a street walker?"

Once again I was gifted with the you're-so-dumb-I-can't-believe-it look before she answered, annoyed, "That's what I said, Bella."

I burst out laughing, holding my abdomen tightly for support.

"What? What's so funny?" she pouted.

Trying to stomach my laughs, I choked, "Nothing, sweetie. Sorry. You want me to do your makeup now?"

She eyed me suspiciously, but when I picked up an eyeshadow compact, she let it go, closing her eyes dutifully.

"You hold still really well, Lily. You must play makeup with Alice a lot."

"I do," she replied, keeping her eyes close and her face still, an impressive feat. Alice had taught her well. "But this is way funner."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause I never got to do it like this before."

Pausing, I pulled the brush away from her face for a moment. "You've never worn eyeshadow before?"

_Crap, Edward's going to kick my ass._

Opening her eyes slowly, she gazed at me innocently and adoringly. "I wear eyeshadow all the times. I mean I never got to do makeup with you."

_She is so sweet my teeth hurt._

"I like doing makeup with you, too. Close your eyes for me again."

After applying eyeshadow, glitter, gloss, and blush, her stomach began grumbling. She put the makeup back in the bathroom so we could go downstairs to eat dinner.

_But how will I get downstairs?_

"I'll help you Bella."

_Oh. Talking out loud. Good to know._

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Lily. I'm way bigger than you are."

"Bella, I am almost a whole hand," she sighed exasperatedly.

"Yeah well, I'm five hands, so that's still way bigger than you. Do you know if your Uncle Emmett is around?"

"You mean Uncle Emmie? Daddy told me to start calling him that. He said he'll love it."

I giggled, imagining Emmett's reaction. "Oh, he will. So do you know where he is?"

"I think he went to the store with Aunt Rose. And my Nanas are in the kitchen making dinner, and my Papaws are watching baseball. Daddy fell asleep on top of my bean bag playing Polly Pockets. I don't know where Uncle Jazz and Aunt Ali are. S'okay. I'll help. I'm big, Bella, c'mon."

I crunched my teeth, contemplating.

_Hobble downstairs, make it in one piece, feel accomplished._

_Fall downstairs, make injuries worse, get yelled at for being stupid._

_Who knew my common sense angel could be so brutally honest?_

"I just can't yet, Lily. Will you go downstairs for me and ask someone to come up and help me, please? That would be the biggest help."

"O-_kay_," she agreed begrudgingly, dragging her feet as she left the room.

A few minutes later she returned with a disheveled looking Edward, rocking some _insane _sex hair. His eyes opened wide in surprise as he entered the room, before he choked out a greeting.

"Ahem. Bella. You look very beautiful this evening."

I flushed in embarrassment. I could only imagine what my face looked like after the clown paint Lily had applied. Rolling my eyes, I bowed my head to him. "Thank you, Edward. I thought Lily did an excellent job."

He feigned shock, staring at Lily in awe. "Lily! You did that?! She looks beautiful, princess. And you do, too."

"Bella did it, Daddy. Get her! I'm hungry."

She turned away and stampeded down the stairs, leaving us alone.

"I'm sorry you had to wake up to come get me. I considered trying to make it down by my-"

"Bella."

"Yes, Edward."

"Please shut up."

"Yes, Edward."

He walked over to me with a cocky smirk on his face that I wanted to knock off, but he looked too damn cute with his hair all crazy everywhere. I decided to let him win this one.

_Lily and Alice have the__** look**__, he's got the hair. It's going to be tricky 'round here, Bella._

Lifting me gently in his arms, he carried me slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen. Our mothers stopped talking as soon as we entered, immediately raising my suspicions, but when I narrowed my eyes on Renee, she simply blinked back at me innocently.

_Innocent Renee. Riiiiight._

He set me down in a chair before walking over to Lily by the kitchen island to help with dinner. I watched silently as the family slowly reappeared and congregated in the kitchen, following the delicious aroma of Esme's cooking.

_Has to be hers. Renee's smells like a cross between the fish market and my garbage disposal._

*

After the _best _chicken stew I had _ever_ had, I was annoyed to already be tired again. I wasn't even really sleepy, but I couldn't stop getting irritated with the noise level around me, and I decided I should probably remove myself before I snapped on someone.

Emmett carried me upstairs again, but thankfully picked up on the bitch vibe I was radiating, and excused himself quickly without any joking around. Someone, presumably Alice, had unpacked and charged my laptop, where it lay on the nightstand by my bed.

_Writing. That is just what I need right now._

Opening up my last saved document, I began clicking away at my keyboard, eager to lose myself in my story. But after accidentally typing Edward's name in place of Stephen's, my Darcy-hero, for the fourteenth time, I gave up on writing. I wasn't sure if it was being in another new place, being alone, or being unable to move around freely, but I felt antsy and restless.

I was tempted to call my mom to see if she would come lie with me, but dismissed the notion quickly.

_You're not a child, Bella. Big girl panties time._

Steeling my resolve, I slid my laptop away and nestled myself into the sheets, forcing my eyes shut. After a while, I wasn't sure how long, I eventually drifted off into a restless sleep.

*

**Review to receive Edward's POV of the fight. Teaser posted on the forum at Twilighted tomorrow.  
**

**The White Album Copyright owned by the Beatles.**


	21. Chapter 21 A Long Way To Go

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, but the plot is mine. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N:I was very honored to be rec'd on TLYDF website yesterday. Thank you FantasyMother for your kind words. To all my new readers, all outtakes are posted on my outtakes companion story on my profile.  
**

**Just wanted to say we won't be following the recovery ala Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, etc. Specific points will be covered at length. I know everyone is anxious for the B/E storyline to develop, but that takes time, if I want to create a healthy, non-co-dependent, equal relationship. It skips unneeded angst later on. Remember the slow burn? Still applies.**

**And I just wanted to mention to all of my faithful readers that keep coming out of the woodwork via Twitter, ADF, and other various forums, if you're getting impatient for some lemontastic scenes, skip over to my beta's profile, EdwardsBloodType, and read I'll Be Your Lover, Too, or her current fic, High Anxiety, which is very close to my heart, for reasons only she knows. If you like me, you'll love her.**

Chapter 21: A Long Way To Go

EPOV

After dinner, it became obvious that Bella had reached her threshold of pain and patience, and Emmett took her upstairs quickly, much to Lily's chagrin. After the crowd dispersed, I realized that for the first time in over a month, I had Lily at home. My parent's really, but it was a second home to us, and I had grown up here.

_I can tuck my baby in tonight. In her own room. _

I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I tossed Lily over my shoulder and carried her upstairs to her bathroom.

"Shower or bath, Princess?"

"Why are you smiling so much, Daddy?" she grinned back at me.

_Happiness is catching._

"I'm just so happy to have you back home. Now, we've got to wash that stuff off your face, and you need to get clean after a long day in the car. So, shower or bath?"

She pondered it over seriously for a moment.

"Bath. With lots of bubbles. And I want the Rubber Ducky song."

I raised my eyebrows at her, and she caught herself.

"Please."

I went to work, filling the bath water at just the right temperature, pouring almost an entire bottle of pink bubble bath in. There were more bubbles than water, but that was the way she liked it. It made washing easier, but rinsing was a bitch. She undressed behind me quickly, jumping into the bath with little grace, splashing me with water and pink bubbles.

"Aah! Lily! You need the bath, not me, honey!"

She giggled, not at all sorry. "Oops. Sing to me, Daddy."

I remembered with pride the way Bella had spoken to me, calming my fears of not being enough of a father to her, telling me how easily she could see my love for Lily. The softness and sincerity of her voice had floored me, saving me from wasting energy worrying, when I could be doing this, enjoying bath time, showing Lily my love.

"Sing! Sing, Daddy!"

I began, using my best Ernie voice.

"_Rubber Ducky  
You're the one  
You make bath time  
Lots of fun!  
Rubber Ducky  
I'm awfully fond of you!_

_"Rubber Ducky  
Joy of joy  
When I squeeze you, you make noise  
Rubber Ducky  
You're my very best friend  
It's true_

_"Every Day  
When I make my way to the tubby  
I find a little fella who's  
Cute and yella  
And chubby  
Rubba dub dubby!" _

I dumped a handful of bubbles over her head, making her giggle.

_"Rubber ducky you're so fine  
And I'm lucky that you're mine  
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of  
Rubber ducky I'm awfully foooond  
Of you!"_

"Again! Again!" she demanded, and I couldn't deny her. I sang it, over and over, the entire time I was washing her. I pulled her out of the tub, drying her off with a big, fluffy, purple towel, rubbing it over her head until her curls were dry and puffy, sticking out in every direction.

_Maybe it's a genetic thing._

I guided her out of the bathroom, pretending to slip and slide all the way. Alice had brought over her favorite Ariel nightgown, and she pulled it over her head with a huge smile.

"Will you read to me, Daddy? I want the pigeon book, and make sure you do all the sounds!"

Before she had been taken, I had considered hiding that book, or possibly throwing it away altogether, just to be free of reading it _again_. I would never feel that way about this book again.

"Alright, get into bed."

"Wait! Where's Snuffles?"

"On the bed, Lily."

"Oh. Can I say good night to Bella?"

"She already went to bed, Princess. You'll have to wait and see her in the morning. She'll still be there."

"Okay," she sighed.

She crawled in, snuggling under her giant comforter, pulling Snuffles up to her body.

Without even having to glance at the pages, I read Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, complete with sounds and voices, for the bazillionth time. She always giggled in the exact same spots, and clapped her hands when I finished.

"Again! Again!"

"No, Lily. It's time for bed now. I can read it again tomorrow. You've got some water here, do you need anything else before I turn out the light?"

"Daddy? Can you make sure you check on Bella? She has bad dreams sometimes. I know you said I can't go in there, but can you? Please?"

My chest tightened as I heard my little girl worry for Bella, and for the millionth time I wondered what Lily had witnessed in spite of Bella's attempts of shielding her.

"I'll check on her, Lily. I promise."

"You're not leaving, are you Daddy? You'll be here when I wake up?" she asked frantically.

I frowned, crawling into bed beside her. "Lily, of course I'll be here. And I know I said no sleeping with Bella, but if you wake up from a bad dream and you need me, you call me, okay?"

"Oh, I won't have bad dreams, Daddy. Look!" She reached under her pillow, pulling out Renee's worry dolls. "New Nana Renee gave them to me!"

I smiled at her, trying not to make a sarcastic comment regarding Renee's craziness. "That's good. But just in case they don't catch all the bad dreams, just know you can come get me if you need me. If for _any_ reason you can't find me, you have permission to go to Bella, okay? It's important to me that you try to sleep in your own bed, but you won't be in trouble for needing someone or being afraid. Alright? Do you understand?"

"'Kay, Daddy. You can go now. Night-night."

I choked on a laugh at being dismissed by my four-year old. "Night-night, Lilybug. I love you."

"Love you too, Daddy. You forgot to give me a hug and a kiss!"

I smooshed her, lying right on top of her.

"Oh, my favorite pillow! I love my Lily pillow! But she's so squirmy and lumpy!"

"Dadd-ee! I can't breathe!" she giggled.

Sliding off the bed and kneeling beside her, I hugged her and kissed her head, trying to keep myself from blubbering like a baby at the sight of her at home.

"Kiss Snuffles too, Daddy."

I obliged, pecking her polar bear, then pretended to cough up a furball.

"Good night, Lily."

"Night."

I turned on her nightlight and left her door slightly ajar, padding silently down the hall and stopping in front of Bella's room. Her door was closed, with a little light shining through underneath, but I didn't hear anything coming from inside.

_If I knock, she could wake up. And bite my head off._

_If I open without knocking and she's awake, she will definitely bite my head off._

_I think I'll wait a bit._

Promising myself, Bella, and Lily silently that I would check on her once before going to bed, I headed downstairs to talk to Jasper about the sleepover idea. It sounded good to _me_, but Jasper had the degree. I found him reading on the couch in the living room.

"Hey man. Got a minute?"

He looked up and nodded, scooting over to make room on the couch for me.

"What's up?"

"A couple of things. One, earlier. Lily's fit about sleeping in Bella's room. I get why it's not a good idea, but Bella suggested something and I wanted to run it by you."

"Shoot."

"She thought, and I agree, that if Lily did well and obeyed all week, going to bed in her own room like she should, we could have a family sleepover as a reward."

He nodded absently, listening intently. "I think it's a good idea in the short-term to help her get acclimated to sleeping alone again. I'm assuming she was in bed with you at the motel?"

"Yeah. I was just so excited to have her back, I couldn't say no," I rushed to explain.

"Relax, don't get defensive. It's fine. It's just a slippery slope, man," he laughed. "If you're not careful, you'll end up having to bribe her to behave every time you turn around. But for now, you make her go a week, get a sleepover. Then maybe push it to ten days. Then two weeks, you get the picture. By the time she's to six weeks, the behavior should be reprogrammed, and it shouldn't even be an issue.

"I'm glad Bella was able to speak up like that with you, and I was really impressed how she held her own against Lily trying to work you guys against each other. I'm assuming you talked with her about what we discussed?"

I nodded, exhaling heavily. "Yeah, yesterday in the hospital after her…attack. Probably could have gone about it in a less direct way. I called her Mommy. Kinda freaked her out."

"No, you're kidding," he deadpanned.

I elbowed him in the side. "I know, I know. I just told her what we talked about, about her being a permanent part of Lily's life, and she wanted to."

"So she just agreed? Just like that? No questions?"

Rolling my eyes, I slid down the couch a bit. "What were you doing, watching on hidden camera? Jesus. Yeah, she had questions. She asked about Tanya. Wanted to know how that would work whenever I get married."

"And what did you say?"

"Well, it turns out she kind of already knew about Tanya because your loudmouth cousin let it slip in Lily's earshot one day."

"Oh shit, you're kidding me."

I huffed bitterly. "That's not my idea of a funny joke, man. Lily knows Tanya didn't want her, but…I'm not sure it's entirely a bad thing. I would have liked her to hear it from me, when she was a bit older, but maybe I was just delaying it for my own reasons, you know? Bella…it's like she knew just what to say to me. She told me how Lily gave her all the reasons why it was okay she didn't have Tanya for a mom, because she had me, and I was enough."

"So almost five years of us trying to tell you that, and it takes one conversation from Bella. I think I may have found your Achilles' heel, Edward. I'm saving this for future use. How did you respond to the marriage thing?" He eyed me carefully, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"I kind of ignored the question."

He smirked at me. "And why is that?"

I shrugged, suddenly wishing I hadn't started this conversation.

_Wait, I didn't start this conversation. I had questions, and __**he**__ started his shrinking. And I walked right into it. Sly motherfucker._

"I don't know, what do you want me to say, Jazz? That I'm a fucking douchebag perv that's taken more cold showers in the last week than I can count? That when she said 'married' I saw her in my parent's gazebo in a white dress? What?" I spat out, really fucking irritated.

"Settle down, Edward. I'm just fucking with you, 'cause I've noticed the way you've been lookin' at her lately. It's not a crime to have a crush. You also call the girl beautiful about five times a minute, so…"

"What? I don't call her anything…" I trailed off, trying to remember a time I had.

He snorted, shaking his head at me disbelievingly. "Really? Because I think I've heard you refer to her as Beautiful at least twenty times today alone. And how that poor girl didn't choke on her own tongue when you called her love a couple of days ago, I'll never know. She's either as oblivious as you are, or she's brushing it off because she doesn't think you mean it."

"Shit," I breathed, completely stunned. "I had no idea…"

Jazz nodded, contemplating. "I hate to do this, but I have to ask…"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you do, Jazz. Ask away."

"I just want to make sure you don't have these feelings because of some misplaced sense of gratitude towards her for what she did. If you _really_ like her, then great, terrific, that's like kismet or fate or some shit. But can you tell me what it is _exactly_ that you like about her?"

I clenched my fists into the cushions beneath me to resist the urge to punch him for suggesting that all there was to her was her heroism. Cracking my neck, I started spouting off all the reasons I couldn't stop thinking about her.

"It's everything, Jazz. She's like the whole package. Yeah, I'm fucking grateful to her for what she did for Lily. I'd be an asshole to not be. But she left me speechless the first time I saw her in that grocery store. Even if this whole fuckery hadn't happened, I think I still would have tried to ask her out or call her or something. And that's fucking huge, 'cause I never date, you know that.

"Have you read her books? She's so fucking smart and creative. And, God…It goes without saying how fucking beautiful she is. And it's a huge fucking turn-on watching how natural she is with Lily. I always knew if I ever got lucky enough to find someone, they'd have to love Lily as much as I do, which isn't even really possible, but she comes as close as anyone ever could.

"Add on top of that how loyal and brave and honest and kind she is…and fuck, man. Is that enough of a reason to like her?" Not pausing for him to answer, I continued.

"It's just…it's the way she fits into every facet of my life without even trying. It's seamless, the way she completes the family, like she was the piece in the puzzle I never knew was missing."

I met his eyes finally, and he was just staring at me, completely wide-eyed. "Edward, that sounds like more than just a crush. You're going to have to take it _slow_."

"Jazz, I don't even know if she feels the same way."

Renee and my mom's hysterical giggles rang out from the doorway of the living room, where they had clearly been eavesdropping.

"Oh, Edward. You are _such_ a man," Renee cackled.

Feeling more than a bit awkward at the impromptu discussion of my lack-of-love life, I tried to deflect. "Last time I checked, yes I was, Renee."

She walked over to me, shaking her head all the way. "Alright, smartass. What I meant was you're just so blind if you don't see the way my Bella looks at you. I may be weird and kooky, but I do know my daughter very well. I won't speak for her, but don't be afraid to put yourself out there when the time is right."

More serious, she sat down beside me and took my hand into her own. "Just don't ruin your chance at having something beautiful by jumping the gun. She is so tough, she's going to shock you all. But I know she needs some time to regroup herself. She's not one to lean on others, she likes to figure things out for herself. I trust you with her, Edward. And for the record, I think you two would make a beautiful couple.

"But Charlie is another story. Good luck there, sweetie." She patted my cheek and walked away with my mother, whispering conspiratorially on their way out.

"Never a dull moment with Renee," Jasper noted. "Anyway, I think she's right. Bella and you seem to have a really natural way around each other. Just take it slow and let it happen as it's meant to. Wasn't there something else you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "But now my mind is too warped to remember what it was. I think I'm going to head up to bed. If I remember, I'll catch you sometime tomorrow. Thanks for the talk, man."

"Anytime, Edward. I think me and Ali are gonna call it a night, too. Rose and Em already took off, I think. Charlie disappeared with Carlisle and Phil. I'm pretty sure they're cracking into some Vitamin R. We'll see you tomorrow."

"G'night Jazz."

"Night."

I wandered my way through the house back upstairs, trying to avoid running into the meddling mothers conspiring in the kitchen. When I was just outside my door, I glanced at Bella's, where the light was still shining through.

_Shit! That's what it was, I was going to ask him what to do if either of them had a nightmare._

Ambling over, I pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear decipher the sounds coming from within.

_Maybe she's on the phone with a friend?_

"_No, please stop. It hurts. It hurts. No. Not Lily. Not Lily!"_

The words that had been muffled grew louder, until she was crying out as if completely awake and in pain. Without a second thought, I threw the door open to see a sight that tore at my heart.

Bella was thrashing in her bed, sweating profusely, and crying real tears.

"No, James. Stop. Don't. Don't! No! Help! Charlie! Edward!"

Hearing her call out my name for help, not knowing what torture she was imagining, whether it was a real memory or dreamed terror, caused physical pain in my chest. Striding quickly over to the right side of the bed, I shoved her laptop out of the way to lie down beside her, bringing her close to my body in an attempt to comfort her.

_I know you're not supposed to bother someone who is sleep-walking. What the fuck about sleep-talking?_

"Shh, Bella. I'm here. Edward's here. You're safe. Lily's safe. He can't hurt you. He-J-James is gone. He's gone. You're safe. Shh. Shh, love."

"Edward. Edward. No! Not Edward!"

My heart sank as I heard her order me away in her dreams, until she continued crying out.

"No, James! Not Edward! Me! Take me! Please!"

_Even in her subconscious she's selfless and brave._

"James can't hurt me. I'm safe. Please, Bella. Please, love. Hush now."

"Edward."

"Shh. It's alright, love. Shh."

"Edward."

"Shh. Shh."

"Edward! Why are you in my bed?"

"Oh shit!" I jumped up, jostling her roughly, completing my asshattery for the night. "Fuck! I'm sorry, Bella. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she wheezed. "But seriously, what are you doing in here?"

"Um…you were having a nightmare, I think. I was trying to comfort you? I'm so sorry. It was totally out of line to come in here when you were asleep. I think your mom is still up. I'll go get her…"

"No! I mean…Will you stay? Just until I fall back asleep. I don't remember dreaming anything but…I feel weird. I'm sorry, it's stupid, it's probably just getting used to a new place, you know? Never mind, I'm sorry I disturbed you."

"Bella."

"Yes, Edward."

"Please shut up."

"Yes, Edward."

Lying back down beside her, she smiled tiredly at me, a few tears still wet upon her face. I wiped them away gently and cleared damp strands of hair away off of her forehead as she closed her eyes.

"Edward? How did you know I was having a nightmare? Did I say anything?"

_Ooh, shit. Lie, Cullen._

"No, nothing. I just heard some crying and wanted to check on you."

"Edward? I wasn't loud, was I? Do you think Lily heard?"

_Does she ever worry about herself first?_

"No. I could barely hear you from the hallway by my door," I lied. "Lily sleeps like the dead anyway, trust me."

"I do."

She looked so tranquil as she said that, like her trust in me was such a simple thing. But to me it wasn't. And I cherished that gift, more than she would ever know.

"Thank you, Edward," she mumbled sleepily.

"Good night, Beautiful." I leaned forward slightly and kissed her forehead before I could even catch myself.

_It's really not my fault. Her forehead is entirely too kissable._

I watched her sleep, waiting for the talking to begin to ensure she wouldn't have another nightmare. I would have to speak with Jasper and my dad tomorrow about a possible sleep aid. When she began slurring about 'rain' and 'green' and 'fish', I decided it was safe to leave her, but left her and my doors opened slightly, just in case she woke again. After I dressed for bed, I decided to check on Lily once, just to make sure her own sleep was peaceful.

Pushing her door quietly, I was relieved to find her snuggling Snuffles tightly, her head at the opposite end of the bed, with her little bottom sticking straight up in the air. I covered her with her blanket, even though I knew she would just kick it off within moments.

_But how long will her sleep remain calm? When will the nightmares come for her?_

Despondently, I trudged back to my room, where I lay for hours staring at the ceiling before sleep took me.

* *

(August 20th)

Morning came too soon, the rain pounding against my window waking me. The clouds were dark outside, completely overshadowing the sun, bringing a morose and ominous feeling to the day.

_Fuck, it's only six. Charlie's probably up._

I started to get up, only to feel myself weighed down by a certain small person who had slipped into my bed sometime during the night. I slid her off of me gently, and she never stirred in her sleep, sighing peacefully.

_I'll talk with her about that sleepover later._

Slipping quietly downstairs, I did indeed find Charlie in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of coffee. I filled one for myself and sat down across from him, realizing his haggard appearance for the first time.

"You doing alright, Charlie?"

"Been better, I suppose," he said gruffly, his voice still thick with sleep.

"D'you sleep okay?"

"Slept fine. Woke up when my phone rang. Jonathan called. They want Bella to come in to make her official statement. I imagine you'll be getting a call about Lily soon as well, if you haven't already."

"I…" I pushed back from the table quickly, trying to find my phone. It was in the cushions of the couch I had talked to Jasper on last night, and I flipped it open with my heart pounding in my chest. "Four missed calls," I read as I stalked back to the kitchen. "Two new messages. _Fuck_."

Calling my voicemail, I waited with baited breath for the messages to begin.

"_First new message. Sent August 19__th__, at 9:58 p.m._

"_This message is for Edward Cullen. Hi Edward, it's Detective Marcus Scotts with the Seattle Police Department. I was calling to schedule a time for you to bring Lily in to give her official statement. Please call me at your earliest convenience. (206) 555-1212._

"_Next message. Sent August 20__th__, at 5:30 a.m._

"_Hi Edward, it's Marcus again. It's early, but I hadn't heard from you so I thought I'd give you another ring. I'd like to discuss the details of Lily's statement with you if it will help ease your mind at all. Once again, my number is (206) 555-1212._

"_End of messages. To hear your messages again, press-"_

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the table, where Charlie still sat, stirring his coffee absentmindedly. Throwing myself into a chair, my mind flooded with images of Lily trying to discuss her ordeal with the therapists at the Olympic Medical Center, and I cringed.

"I take it he called, then?"

Not even looking up, I responded. "Yeah. Not Jonathan, though. Marcus."

"Makes sense. Technically he's _your_ detective."

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I gritted out. "Is there any way to avoid doing this? I mean, is it really necessary? James is dead, or soon will be. Why does she have to go through with talking about it when it's over? It doesn't make sense to me."

"It's just what's got to be done to close the case. And it helps them in future cases like it, and for that reason alone, I know Bella'll agree to do it, but I don't like it any more than you do, trust me."

"There's no way either one of them is going to be able to talk through the experience without losing it."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, that's probably right, but at least your daughter'll listen to you when you tell her it's time to stop. Bella's so goddamn stubborn she'll want to do it all at once, and get it over with."

"Could we just not tell her? Wait until she's a bit more healed, or had some time to go to therapy?"

He shook his head. "The sooner after the fact, the fresher it'll be in her mind. She's a grown woman, I have to at least tell her about it. She's not one to be molly-coddled, and she'll pitch a fit if she finds out I'm hiding something from her. Especially if she thinks it would help other people in the same situation."

"Will I be allowed in there? With Lily?"

He nodded quickly, assuring me. "Oh yeah. It'll be a lot like how I hear they did at the hospital in Port Angeles, you know with that doll? They'll have her on video so the therapist can just ask her questions and talk with her as naturally as possible. It probably won't even be at the police station, they'll most likely have you go to the child advocacy center.

"They'll get her comfortable in a nice big room full of toys and books and puzzles, and start talking to her about stuff she likes until they've got her trust and she's talking freely. I've witnessed a couple of them over the years with domestic violence cases. You can break it up if it gets too rough, and go back and finish it later.

"I'm not saying it'll be easy for her, but it shouldn't be _too_ long in there. She's a kid, they're not going to interrogate her."

"What about Bella? Are they going to interrogate her?"

He huffed through his nose. "Not if I can have a say in it. And I know if I tried to be in there with her, it'd mess everything up, 'cause she wouldn't want to upset me. So I've come to the conclusion I'll just have to listen from outside the room, and not tell her about it 'til after. If I have to break down the door and drag her out by her hair, so be it. I won't let herself get put back in the hospital 'cause she's too damn determined for her own good sometimes. You're gonna have your hands full with that one, Edward."

He met my eyes when he said that, making me wonder if there was an underlying warning there. Clearing my throat, I continued the conversation without acknowledging his statement.

"So…did you already set up a time?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm waiting for Bella to wake up first. You gonna call them back today?"

"I don't have much choice, do I? Yeah, I'll call them. I'm going to go upstairs and get dressed first, though. See you in a bit, Charlie. Uh…if you want, I could go with you to the station. If you need somebody to be there," I told him as I stood.

He smiled sadly up at me. "I'd appreciate that, Edward. I don't think Renee could handle it, hell, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it, but I've just got to, you know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean, Charlie. You tell me what time and I'll be there. I'll schedule Lily's after you've spoken to Bella."

"You're not just using me to delay the inevitable, are you?" he joked.

I grinned back. "Eh, like sixty/forty. It's mostly 'cause your old ass can't get Bella inside the police station by yourself."

He tossed a wadded up napkin at me, missing by a foot. "Old, am I? We'll see how old I am when I take you shooting for the first time. I've got the reflexes of a cat, young cocky one."

Smirking down at the napkin on the floor, I retorted, "Reflexes, maybe. But your aim sucks." I picked up the napkin, tossing it back at him as I ran from the kitchen before he could retaliate. Joking with Charlie and knowing I could wait a little while to call back Marcus lightened my mood considerably. After I'd showered, I was dressing when I noticed the clouds were starting break apart, and the sun was coming out. I hoped that spelled good things for the rest of the day.

*

That hopeful feeling didn't last long. After getting Lily up for the day, I took her down to the kitchen to feed her some breakfast. I walked in on World War III. Charlie and Renee were screaming at each other, while Phil stood behind her, looking clueless. Emmett and Bella were arguing heatedly back and forth, but I couldn't make out their angry words over the commotion in the room. I didn't see my parents or anyone else, but the noise issuing from those four alone made my head pound.

"Hey!" I shouted, causing Lily to bury her face in my shoulder. "What is going on in here?"

Emmett laughed maniacally. "I'll tell you exactly what's going on here! B's got it in her head that she's going to go in and give her statement! The day after she got released from the hospital! And, wait for it, here's the kicker, she wants to go alone! I'll tell you what, B, you can go alone if you can get there by yourself."

Bella's face flushed with anger, and if she had stared at me with such contempt, I would have probably run for cover. But Emmett lived with Rose, and he had had much, _much_ worse.

"You can glare at me all you want, Baby B. You're not going. And that's final."

"Emmett-" she was cut off by Charlie.

"Excuse me, Emmett. But don't you think I should be the one making those decisions? I'm her-"

Bella pushed herself up out of chair, trembling as she found her balance. Everyone silenced in shock around her.

"_I _am perfectly capable of making decisions for _myself_. Charlie, I would appreciate if you would take me to the police station in an hour after I'm dressed and ready. You will _not_ be coming into the interrogation room with me. Renee, neither will you. I will call a cab if you won't take me, Dad. Emmett, I appreciate your concern-"

He scoffed, and her shoulders sank. He had the grace to look sheepish for his rudeness, at least.

"I do, Emmett, truly. If I start to get tired or upset, I'll stop."

"I don't believe that. And if you start to get worked up, you might not be able to calm yourself down. I don't want you to end up back in the hospital," he whispered sadly.

"Emmie, I know I wasn't too keen on the idea of talking about what happened before, but Jasper really helped me understand why I need to. And you heard my dad. This could help them with other cases. I _have _to do this. Delaying it is pointless. I want to get it over with. I'll take my medication before I go, I promise."

"Then you need to drink a shake, too. You can't go on an empty stomach."

She smiled tentatively at him. "Deal," she replied softly.

"And sit your ass back down before you break the other leg."

"Ooh, Uncle Em! Bad word!" Lily scolded, as my parents and Jasper came in through the back door of the kitchen carrying bags of food.

"Oh good, you guys are all up now! Dad and I went out to get breakfast. Who's hungry?" My mom smiled at each of us in turn, completely oblivious to the argument she had narrowly missed.

"Daddy, what's a staymen? Where are you going, Bella?"

"It's just an errand I have to go do, Lily. I'll be back in just a little while."

Lily accepted this easily, distracted by the bagel sandwiches my mother was unwrapping onto plates. "Can I go too?"

"Not this time. It'll be really boring. But I'll spend time with you later, okay?"

"Can we play ponies when you get back?"

Bella crinkled her nose adorably, but nodded, "I don't know what that is, but yes, we can."

"Oh, Bella," Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. Bella caught my eye and grinned, but I couldn't return it. I knew it was coming, but I had hoped Charlie would be wrong, that she would wait. I didn't want for her to have to go through this. As if she could read the emotions off of my face, her smile softened as she held my gaze.

"I'll be fine, Edward."

"I'm going with Charlie," I told her.

I saw the frustration seep into her face immediately, so I continued before she could argue.

"I'm just going to keep him company while you give your statement," I reasoned.

She sighed, consenting, and Jasper took a seat beside her, conversing with her quietly. We all ate our breakfast silently, Renee stewing in her seat the entire meal. It was awkward to say the least, and afterward I paced nervously while Bella got dressed.

"Daddy, can I go to the playground while you take Bella on her staymen?"

The thought of her outside the safety of the house without me almost brought me to my knees, and I blurted out, "No!" before I realized I had spoken.

She jumped back, looking at me warily, as did Jasper and my mother.

"I'll take her, Edward," my mom offered.

"Mom, no, please, just no."

"But Daddy! I wanna go to the playground!" Lily whined loudly.

"I said NO!" I shouted, freezing Lily immediately. I took a step towards her, but she burst into tears, running out and up the stairs to her room where I heard the door slam.

"I'll go talk to her," my mother said softly, leaving the room quietly.

"Edward, have you called Siobhan yet?"

"Yeah, I called her a couple of days ago. Lily's first appointment is next week," I muttered, ripping my hair out from the roots.

"Uh-huh. And when's yours?"

Confused, I looked up. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you freaking out and losing your temper with Lily for asking to go to a park she's been to a hundred times. A certain amount of vigilance is important for a parent, but when you can't stomach the idea of her being out of your sight, that's a whole other ball game. And you know it, man. You need to talk to her. Bella's gonna. Lily's gonna. You need to too. I can't force you, it's on you." He didn't say anything else, just looked up and smiling at someone behind me.

"Well, well darlin'! I see my Ali's left her mark. You look mighty fine, Miss Bella."

I turned to see Bella in Emmett's arms, looking absolutely gorgeous. She was dressed in black leggings with the left leg cut at the knee to make room for her cast and a shirt/dress/thing in that same shade of dark blue that made her skin look flawless. I grinned at the one well-worn Converse sneaker on her right foot. I guess Alice hadn't been willing to risk her scarf collection after all.

"Thanks, Jasper. Is everything okay? I heard a big bang in Lily's room."

My face fell, and I looked down at the ground as I spoke. "Yeah, that's my fault. She wanted to go to the park, and I said no." I looked up to see Bella studying my face curiously.

"Well, maybe we can all go later."

I smiled weakly, not wanting to explain the whole story. "Yeah, maybe."

Charlie entered the room, followed by Renee and my mother, with Phil trailing behind. Renee's eyes were red, but she didn't seem angry anymore, so I assumed she had resigned herself to staying here. I didn't how Charlie and I would be able to handle what we heard, there was no way we could handle Renee as well.

"I'm all set, Bells. You ready?"

She inhaled and exhaled shakily, but I saw the steely resolve come down behind her eyes. "As I'll ever be. Let's go."

Emmett carried her out to my car, seating her in the backseat and buckling her seatbelt for her. He threw his mammoth arms around her shoulders, swallowing her whole. I got into the driver's seat, while Charlie sat beside me up front. We waited for a few minutes, until it became apparent Emmett wasn't letting go.

"Emmie. Can't. Breathe," Bella wheezed.

He pulled back sheepishly. "Sorry, Baby B. You keep your promise, alright? I'll see you in a little bit."

The ride to the station was quiet, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Bella demanded to get to use one of her crutches, leaning on me for support as we limped our way into the station. If she was surprised we knew our way around, she didn't show it, but she seemed lost in her own world. I would have given every cent I had to be able to read her thoughts in that moment, to know how she was preparing herself for what she was about to do. Jonathan and Marcus were working at their desks when we entered the situation room.

"Edward! We're surprised to see you. I was expecting a phone call about Lily, not a personal visit," Marcus smiled.

"I'm just here to keep Charlie company. I'll set up a time for Lily to come in before I leave today," I clarified.

"Ah," he nodded, moving his eyes from me to her. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Swan. Detective Marcus Scotts."

She didn't respond, so I squeezed her hip lightly where I was helping stabilize her.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm fine, thank you."

Marcus smiled briefly, before shooting Jonathan a worried look. Jonathan ignored him and stood to greet her as well.

"I'd like to thank you for coming down today, Miss Swan. Would you like your father to accompany you inside the room where we'll be speaking? Or do you have a lawyer we're waiting for?"

"Uh, no. No lawyer. And my dad will be waiting out here with Edward."

He raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment. "Alright, then. Edward, if you'll just help her back here, then." He walked towards the hall where their interrogation rooms were, and I aided Bella into the second room on the right, easing her down into a chair.

"Are you comfortable, Bella?" I asked softly in her ear.

Her eyes didn't move from the table in front of her, her face betraying no emotion. "Fine, Edward."

I turned away from her, almost bumping into Charlie. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear, but she didn't respond. He stood back up and sighed, before kissing the top of her head quickly and striding out of the room. Marcus was waiting out in the hall for us, and he merely nodded to us once before walking over to the speaker on the wall and clicking the intercom on. We watched them through the one-way mirror.

"Once again, thank you Miss Swan, for coming here today. May I call you Bella?" Jonathan started.

"Yes," was her quiet reply.

"Bella, I am Detective Sergeant Jonathan Aro. I want to make you aware that our conversation is being videotaped for future reference. You are here today, August 20th, 2009, as a formality to tie up any loose ends to your case, as well as provide an accounting for your time away. If at any time you wish to stop for a break or for the day, just say the word. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

He straightened out a notepad in front of himself and had his pen perched atop the paper, ready to officially start. "First, the easy stuff. Name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"And your birthday is September 13, 1984, correct?"

"Yes," came her robotic answer.

"We are here today to obtain your official statement regarding your abduction July 17th. What events led to you being at the Whole Foods Market on 2200 Westlake Avenue that day?"

"I needed groceries," she replied, sounding slightly irritated.

"Prior to that day, did you know the other victim, Lily Cullen, or her father, Edward Cullen?"

"No."

"Did you know or have any knowledge of James Harrison prior to the events that took place on July 17th, 2009?"

She flinched slightly when Jonathan said his name, but he ignored it. "No."

"We have seen the security tapes, so I don't need you to walk me through the abduction as it occurred inside the store. But when you were sent outside, why did you not try to run?"

Her eyes flashed in anger, and I saw Charlie visibly tense beside me. "Because he told her that if we tried to run, he would kill her father, and me as well, then take her anyway. I couldn't let him take her away by herself, and I couldn't have run away with her. There was nowhere to hide, and my car keys were inside. You _did_ see the gun on that security tape, right?" she snapped.

_Motherfucker. That's what he said to her that day. My poor baby._

"I apologize, Bella. To clarify, you are not here as a suspect or accomplice. We are simply trying to get as complete a picture as we can of your ordeal. I did not mean to offend you. Can you describe what happened after he got into the van and drove away?"

"He told us not to cry. He told us we were going home. He drove until it was dark and we stopped at the cabin. He kept calling us Victoria and Abigail, and I told Lily to go along with it."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because of the fucking gun," she gritted out.

_Fuck, did she take the Ativan? I don't think she did. She won't make it all the way through this if he keeps antagonizing her like this._

He merely nodded in response, still writing furiously on his legal pad.

"Did he at any point stop on your way to the cabin? Was there anyone else you saw during your time there?"

She simply shook her head negatively in response.

"Can you describe the makeup of the cabin to me?"

She started speaking, but with no inflection, as though she was returning there. "There were bars on all the windows. He had deadbolts on the doors, with keys for both sides. He kept the keys on a chain around his neck. He always said 'he'd never let me do it again', that 'I'd never get away again'. There was a living room with a couch and a fireplace and books. The kitchen had a table, fridge, and stove. There was a laundry room and pantry, with enough food 'to last us until spring' he said, our bedroom and his. He said I had to sleep with Abby because she had bad dreams."

Charlie's hand on my shoulder calmed my tremors at hearing her call Lily 'Abby'.

"So you were never forced into Harrison's room?"

"I didn't say that. I said I didn't sleep with him in there."

Pausing his notes, he looked up at her. "Can you elaborate on that, please?"

"He kept track of my mistakes. Every time I messed up, he dropped a marble in a jar on the mantel. At the end of the day he would count them, and whip me with his belt in his room while Lily played in her room."

"So Lily was not witness to this abuse? Did he ever count her mistakes?"

She closed her eyes, breathing heavily. "No. If she acted out he would threaten her with more abuse to me, but he never laid a hand on her that I saw. A few times she spilled some food and broke a couple of plates, but I told him it was me. I wasn't sure whether he would hurt her for something like that or not."

Pausing again, he eyed her speculatively. "Are you alright to continue, Bella? We can take a break if you'd like."

_Take it Bella, come on. _

"I'm fine."

"Goddamnit, she's so stubborn," Charlie muttered under his breath.

"If you're sure. You said that you never _saw_ him lay a hand on her. Were there times when she was alone with him?"

I held my breath, waiting for her to answer.

"Before we escaped, I was very sick. He said I had slept for three days straight. Lily told me that he didn't hurt her, only made her clean a bit, and play in her room. She promised he fed her, but he mostly left her to herself, and she tried to care for me. That part's not very clear to me, I was really sick, and he wouldn't let me eat anything. I only woke up to take my _medication_," she spit out the word vehemently.

"I'd like us to go back a bit, then. I want to get an idea on what an average day was like for you. Was there a routine? Did he seem to cycle in a predictable way at all?"

She began reciting, as if it were a speech she had memorized. I wondered if that was what she had been thinking over in the car. "Every morning he woke us up at seven. He gave us fifteen minutes to get ready before he opened the door to give me my medication."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but the medication you speak of? That was the Oxycontin, correct?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, probably. He would just give me random colored pills. I never really discerned a pattern, he just gave them to me. I remember the green ones were insanely strong, I always messed up a lot on those days."

Charlie flinched as she mentioned 'messing up'. We both knew what that meant.

"Did you ever attempt to spit out the pills or regurgitate them?"

This time is was Bella that flinched, and I saw Charlie's face fall. "Once," her shaky voice whispered.

Continuing on, Jonathan moved her along. "So you would make breakfast for the three of you? Or just him?"

"Always for him and Lily, sometimes for me. He would take away food as a punishment sometimes, a lot of the time," she admitted. "After a while, I didn't notice really, the medicine made me so forgetful and nauseous all the time. I got used to it. After breakfast, I would read to Lily for an hour from the dictionary, and then another hour from the encyclopedia. He talked to himself in his room while I did that. He talked to himself all day."

_Crazy fucking bastard._

"After the reading, what would you do?"

"Clean, while Lily played in her room. That was when I would sneak food out of the pantry. I was trying to get enough cans together so we could try to run away into the woods. After an hour of cleaning, I would make lunch. James would give me my next dose. After the second day, Lily pretended to be tired so I could nap with her in our room. He would lock us inside and we would talk."

He took a sip of his coffee before smiling at her encouragingly. "And what would you two talk about?"

"Anything. Everything. Nothing. We talked about escaping, about what we would do once we were home. I asked her questions about her real family so she wouldn't be confused. James told her all the time how 'the bad man from the grocery store took her from him'. That she was really his. I didn't want for her to believe him, to forget about her real life. We told each other stories, and I told her about my family. Sometimes we would just sleep. The medication made me really tired all the time."

_She didn't just save Lily's body, she saved her mind, too._

"I would imagine being deprived of proper nutrition didn't help you, either. After naptime, what was the rest of your day like?"

She sighed heavily, taking a sip from her bottle of water. "He would wake us up, and give me my next dose. Then I would make dinner. Lily likes to cook, so I let her help me a lot. I would usually clean up while they ate, because I wasn't allowed to eat dinner hardly ever. After dinner, I would give Lily her bath and dress her for bed. James would lock her in our room with her toys and then take me…take me to his room," she finished quietly.

"Bella, you're doing very well. I need to ask you about the extent of your abuse in his room. Did he only strike you with the belt? Or did he ever use another device or his hands?"

Her eyes closed, and I saw her struggle to control her breathing.

_Tell him you're done, Bella. Let me take you home, Beautiful._

"Edward, do you think we should pull her out?" Charlie asked quietly.

"I don't know," I answered, shaking my head, feeling helpless. She began speaking before we could make a decision, in a completely monotone voice.

"He counted the marbles. He hit me with the belt. I had to count off. If I didn't, he started over. Some nights he was frustrated and wanted to touch me."

Charlie began to shake in anger beside me, and I grasped his shoulders tightly, trying to keep him calm and in the present.

"He…he couldn't get hard. He said that I 'broke him' when I left him. I don't think he understood that he had killed them. The real Victoria and Abby. I didn't either, at the time. I thought they had simply escaped him somehow. Anyway, he would rub me and grab me, but he could never actually rape me. One night, he started trying, and I didn't know if he was going to give up, regardless. He was pulling my clothes off, but I threw myself onto the floor so he would kick me instead. He always liked to kick me if I was on the floor."

Charlie's face mirrored mine, pinched up in pain as Bella spoke on, oblivious to our eavesdropping. My brain was running a million miles a minute, picturing the scenario in my mind against my will.

_Bella screaming and crying, begging him to stop. Lily, listening to Bella's cries. James, touching her, ripping her clothes, throwing her around a room like a ragdoll…_

_STOP!_

"That was the night I accidentally called Lily by her real name in front of him. He was so angry. He punched me and stomped on my ankle. I couldn't get up for days afterward, and I wasn't allowed to eat until I could walk. That was when I started to get sick. I would have tried to escape sooner, but I couldn't. I didn't know where his gun was, and I could barely walk. It wasn't until he bled me that I knew we couldn't wait. I knew I was dying."

"You say he 'bled' you. Can you clarify what this means for me?"

Bella answered on autopilot, sending shivers down my spine. "He said he had to get the infection out of my body. He said it was what his father used to do to heal him. He stuck me with a needle and drew my blood until I passed out."

"Damn it all to hell. I can't listen to this. I need to smoke," Charlie growled angrily.

I stepped back from him, eyeing him dubiously. "Charlie, you don't smoke," I tried to point out.

"I damn well do today," he snapped, stomping away towards an exit at the end of the hall, leaving me there with Marcus. My attention shot back to Jonathan as he continued his questioning.

"Let's back up again. So Lily was always in the bedroom you two shared during the abuse? Did she ever witness any of it?"

"She…she never saw most of it _exactly_. She saw the bleeding thing firsthand, but other than that…She had to help me a couple of times…" For the first time since she started, tears began forming in her eyes. "She helped the night he broke my ankle, I couldn't get onto the bed by myself, and she wouldn't let me stay on the floor. And she helped bandage me in the forest after we escaped. And she would pinch me to keep me awake during the day. She knew I got into more trouble when I lost my focus. I tried to hide my bruises as best I could, even though she knew that he hit me. I was afraid if she saw them, it would scare her, and I had trouble with her sometimes."

Tears began falling down her face, and she seemed to be growing frantic, as though she were feeling defensive and guilty for what Lily had seen. I started to reach for the door to end it, but Marcus stopped me.

"Don't, Edward. Give it another couple of minutes."

Bella continued on, looking so lost, so sad. "She got impatient sometimes, and I was afraid of her saying something to set him off. I couldn't be sure he wouldn't hurt her if he got angry enough. On days when she was whiny, I would sometimes need to do something to distract him, so he wouldn't pay as much attention to her."

Jonathan tapped his pen against his paper. "How did you distract him exactly?"

Her robotic tone returned, and her eyes became glazed and unfocused as she answered. "Sometimes I would just knock something over so he would yell at me instead. One day she refused to go to bed when he wanted to 'talk' to me in his room. When he started to walk towards her, I didn't know what he would do, so I slapped him. He…he forgot all about her then."

I realized tears were falling down my face when Marcus handed me a box of tissue without making eye contact with me.

"Please describe to me how you managed to escape," Jonathan said calmly, yet with an eager undertone, and I decided that I really didn't like him.

Her brows furrowed as she thought it over for a few moments, before she began speaking again, with no inflection whatsoever.

"A while before the actual escape, I had taken a glass and broken it, using the medical kit to doctor it into a kind of knife. At dinnertime I started a pot of water and a pan of oil heating on the stove. When they were hot, I gave Lily the signal to go to our room. She was to wait with our supplies until I called for her. Once she was safe and away in our room, I threw the oil on him, then the water. I tried to attack him with the glass, but it sort of fell apart. He grabbed it and stabbed me, and when he tried to take off for the hall, I jumped on him. We rolled around, fighting, and the table got pushed into the fireplace. Everything in the cabin was flammable, and it all caught on like a match. I was finally able to knock him out with the jar of marbles.

"I got his keys and yelled for Lily. We made it out of the cabin and got a lock sealed before he woke up. I wanted to take his van, but the car keys weren't on the chain. I used an old plank of wood as a crutch to go into the forest. I tried to go in the opposite direction of the path he had driven in on. We ran for a while until we heard him get out of the cabin somehow. He was screaming…we thought he was coming for us, but then he just drove away. Lily helped me patch up my arm, and I know we must have carried on for a while longer, but I can't really remember much else after that. I'm pretty sure she ate something, but then we fell asleep.

"The next time I remember waking up was in the hospital."

Her increasingly detached voice almost disturbed me more than what I was hearing.

"Edward. Edward, you look kind of green. Maybe you should step outside for a minute. Get some fresh air. You look like you're gonna be sick," Marcus prodded.

Charlie returned then, took one look at my face, and grabbed the nearest dustbin for me to empty my guts into.

_She almost died. She went through all of that to protect my little girl. Everything she did, she did for Lily. If we had been fifteen minutes later, she would have died. Lily would have been alone. If she had let Lily be taken without her, Lily would probably already be dead._

_He…he beat her. He violated her. He poisoned her and starved her and bled her… I wasn't too far off with the medieval torture chamber was I? _

Looking up at Charlie finally, I could see his face was red and worried, and he reeked of smoke.

"You alright, Charlie? Sorry about that just now," I rasped.

He clenched his jaw, shaking his head at me before turning back to the mirror. I glanced through to view Bella again, and was sickened to see her vacant expression as she stared down at the table in front of her, while Jonathan finished his notes.

"Marcus," Charlie's gruff voice rang out. "Has he got everything you boys need?"

"If we think of anything else, we'll give you a call, Charlie. You take your girl on home."

Marcus had barely finished his sentence before Charlie had opened the door to the interrogation room, ending the session.

"Charlie! I still had a few questions…" Jonathan stammered.

"Good for you. We're done. You've got what you need," Charlie approached Bella slowly, but she didn't even acknowledge his presence in the room.

I followed behind him, pulling her up into my arms, but she continued to stare out into the room, almost catatonically. I carried her out to the car in silence, Charlie following quickly at my feet. She made no move to buckle herself into the Volvo, so I took the liberty to do so myself. Charlie stared at her worriedly outside the car before entering the front passenger side resignedly, adjusting his mirror to watch her as we drove home.

The ride home was painfully quiet, and my grip on the steering wheel left my knuckles white as I drove. Charlie's leg shook uncontrollably as he kept his eyes locked on his daughter's still state in the backseat. Once we arrived, he threw himself out of the car, waiting for me to get Bella.

She didn't respond to my touch at all, letting me mold her form to my arms with no resistance whatsoever. As we entered the front door, I heard Lily's excited voice call out.

"They're back! They're back!" She came running through the house, eager and with a grin on her face. "Bella, come see! Nana helped me! It's a surprise!"

Bella's head twitched slightly at the sound of Lily's voice, so I followed Lily's footsteps back into the living room. My mother and Renee smiled as we entered, hitting a button on the stereo as I stepped through the doorway. Their smiles changed to looks of concern as they registered Bella's blank expression.

"I was just playing my favorite soundtrack when Lily got so excited," my mother explained, but cut off as the music began.

"_Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love_._"_ A light, airy baritone rang through the surround speakers in the room, and I heard and saw Bella whimper as the song began.

"_There's nothing you can do that can't be done._

_Nothing you can sing that can't be sung._

_Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game_

_It's easy."_

"It's our song, Bella! Do you like it?" Lily beamed proudly.

"Take me to her," Bella whispered.

I obeyed, walking Bella over to where Lily stood, sliding her down my body, until she was on her knees in front of her.

"_There's nothing you can make that can't be made._

_No one you can save that can't be saved._

_Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you_

_in time - It's easy."_

Bella ran her hand up and down Lily's cheek, as if memorizing it, looking over her from head to toe. Lily began to sing along as the chorus began.

"_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love._

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need."_

For the first time, I noticed the room was full of my family, as I witnessed Jasper and my father conferring quietly in a corner, while I saw our mothers holding each other, silently crying. In my peripheral vision I saw Emmett in the back corner of the room, with red eyes and his arms crossed, watching the scene in front of him.

Bella opened her mouth to sing the next verse, and her raspy, teary soprano was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard next to Lily's first cry.

"_There's nothing you can know that isn't known._

_Nothing you can see that isn't shown._

_Nowhere you can be, that isn't where you're meant to be._

_It's easy."_

As Lily began singing the last verse, Bella started to break down, sobbing as she clutched Lily's face. Lily stopped singing long enough to question her tearfulness.

"Bella, are you sad?"

Bella laughed through her tears, shaking her head fiercely, and smiling weakly at my daughter. "Silly Lily. I could never be sad when I'm with you. I love you."

Lily rubbed her face against her shoulder, then looked straight into Bella's eyes and blinked…purposefully?

Bella blinked back, sitting down on the floor and pulling Lily onto her lap, cradling her and rocking her gently.

At that moment, it didn't matter to me that I had only _really _known Bella for a couple of weeks. I didn't care that we had many more weeks, maybe months to go before she was healed.

As the ending chorus played out through the speakers, all I could think as I gazed at the two most beautiful girls in the room was…

_Oh my God. _

_I love her._

*

**Le sigh. Isn't that nice? No outtakes to ransom for this time, just teasers. See you next chapter.**

**All You Need Is Love sung by Lynden David Hall, Love Actually OST. Google that shite.**

**Rubber Ducky Copyright owned by Sesame Street Workshop**

**Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus written by Mo Willems. Make sure you do the voices.  
**


	22. Chapter 22 Progress

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, but the plot is mine. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N: You guys broke 6k reviews. I don't even know what to say to that. So yeah, just, you know, thanks. I know this chapter is probably not what most of you were expecting, but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same. Just wanted to mention that some of you might not like Bella very much in this chapter, she annoyed me a little bit, and she was a little hard to keep up with. But recovery is not an overnight miracle, and it'll take her some time to get back to her normal sweet self. Cut the girl a break, she's been through a tough time.**

**Does anybody out there want to lend EBT and me a hand in beta'ing my neverending wordiness? Let me know.**

Chapter 22: Progress

BPOV

(August 23rd)

_I hate Emmett._

"C'mon, B. Five more."

_I hate Emmett._

"No you don't, B. Four more."

_Oh shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud._

"Well, you did. Three. C'mon!"

"Emmett, I can't," I whined.

"You can, and you will. Three. Now."

_I hate Emmett._

"C'mon. Two to go."

I grunted as I lifted the dumbbell above my head, curling it back down.

"Last one! Make it good!"

With way more difficulty than I should have had lifting the five pound weight up, I curled back down, letting it fall from my hands unceremoniously. I _may_ have not completely unintentionally aimed for his foot, which I totally missed. On accident. He rubbed my arm from shoulder to wrist, shaking my limb loose.

"See? Told ya you could do it. Ready for the other arm?"

I groaned, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. "Emmett, you have got to be kidding me! Wouldn't you rather we go…" I racked my brain, trying to come up with something to bribe him with. _Oh! _"You haven't gotten to try my cheesecake yet. Have I ever told you about my cheesecake? I use an entire cup of melted chocolate chips in the filling, and I top it with raspberries and _more_ chocolate…"

His eyes began to glaze over as I described it to him, and when he actually started to drool, I thought I had won him over. Somehow though, he came back to his senses, shaking his head to clear it.

"Quit fighting dirty, Swan. This is for your own good. When we're in this workout room, _I _work for _you_. And I take my work very seriously. But we will be revisiting this cheesecake thing in about twenty minutes. When we're finished. Left arm. Thirty reps. Start now."

"Emmett, I really don't like you right now."

He rolled his eyes, motioning for me to quit stalling. "You may have mentioned that one time or fifty since we started."

Something in his words made me feel awfully ungrateful, and I started bawling before he could blink.

"I'm sorry," I blubbered. "I know you want to…to…to help." I tried to raise up the dumbbell, but he took it out of my hand, and scooped me into a hug.

"Hey, B. It's okay. We're done for the day. And you don't have to make me the cheesecake. I mean, if you want to, I definitely won't stop you, but we can just call it a day. You've hit your limit."

"N-n-no," I hiccoughed. "I want to finish. I'm sorry if I was mean. I _do_ really like you, Emmie."

"Aw, Baby B," he laughed. "You weren't mean. I've been called much, much worse by my own wife, not to mention the trash that comes out of ball player's mouths. Let's take a break, okay? If you feel up to it later, we'll finish up."

"Are you sure?" I sniffled.

"Yeah, I'm starving anyway."

I finally managed to crack a smile. "Emmett, you just ate an hour ago."

He pulled me up, giving me my crutches so we could leave. "Yeah, but I barely ate anything!"

I looked at him incredulously. "Emmett, you ate a six-egg omelet."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But I didn't have any pancakes or toast or anything. It's definitely time for a snack."

We made our way into the kitchen, and I sat at the table to rest while he whipped up something for himself. While he was in the pantry, Edward started to come in, saw me, and froze.

"Um…I…I just forgot something," he muttered lamely, before practically running out of the kitchen.

I sighed, as this had sadly been the norm since the day I gave my statement at the police station. He and my dad had admitted to me that they listened to me talking to Aro, and I had been understandably pissed. Not surprised, but still pissed. I didn't know if it was something he had heard or what, but he had been acting weird ever since.

_Or maybe he regrets having me come here. Maybe I should go home. _

I was avoiding confronting him, because I would hate to know if that were the truth. I didn't _want_ to leave. Being here with everyone was so wonderful. Esme and Renee were like new best friends, and the same went for Charlie and Carlisle. True to his word, Emmett had developed quite the diet and exercise plan, and I had already gained another two pounds since leaving the hospital. For the first time in my life, I had girls to chat with, and it was a lot more fun than I thought it would have been.

Alice, Rose, and I would discuss news, their work, my books, their husbands…I had friends again. I hadn't even realized how lonely and secluded my life had become since my split with Jake. And as quiet as Jasper had originally been, he and I had developed quite a camaraderie since our conversation in the hospital. It turned out he was a bit of a history geek, and we liked a lot of the same shows that nobody else would watch. On rough nights when I couldn't sleep, it was almost as if he could sense it. He would call and we would chat on the phone while we stayed up too late watching the History Channel and National Geographic.

I still had the most fun with Lily, and when I was with her was the only time Edward seemed capable of interacting with me. We played Barbies, Ponies, Polly Pockets, Tinker Toys… the child had more toys than FAO Schwarz. When the three of us were together, it was carefree, light, fun. But as soon as Lily wasn't in the room as a buffer, he would retreat into himself. The air around us was awkward and tense, but not with anger. I just couldn't figure him out. How we went from almost best friends to almost being unable to speak in full sentences with each other, I didn't know.

_Whatever, I'll deal with it later. I have bigger issues. Today's the big day._

Today I was going to meet Siobhan for the first time. Jasper had assured me repeatedly that if I didn't like her, all I had to do was say the word, and we'd find someone else. He tried to coach me a bit, to give me an idea of what was coming, so I wasn't overwhelmed when the session finally came. For the first one, I would be going alone, and he said she would decide how often we should see each other after we had spoken. He said eventually Lily and I would do some sessions together, and the whole family would probably have a few group sessions as well.

"You sure you don't want anything, B?"

I smiled and looked at Emmett, my eyes widening as I saw his 'snack'. "Emmett, you can't possibly be able to eat two sandwiches. It's only nine o'clock in the morning!"

He grinned and shrugged his shoulders, sitting down across from me. "Watch me, B."

My mom came into the kitchen then, her eyes lighting up when she saw us. "Oh, Bella. There you are, honey. I wanted to help you get ready for your appointment. Emmett, can you carry her for me?"

I opened my mouth to tell her to wait since he was eating, but he had already stood and picked me up like I weighed nothing. Of course, compared to him, I barely did.

"Sure, Renee."

He deposited me on my bed, and Renee locked the door behind him. Yesterday, when I had been dressing for the day, clad only in a towel, Lily came rushing into my room because Edward was chasing her in a tickle war. After a few screams, a lot of blushing, and mumbled apologies, he ran out, and I barely saw him for the rest of the day.

I growled in frustration, earning myself a raised eyebrow from Renee.

"Talk to me, Bella. What's going on?"

"Nothing, Mom," I sighed. "I hope nothing."

She sat down beside me, picking up my hand and running her other one through my hair gently. "Well, why don't you tell me, and I'll decide if it's nothing."

"It's just…Have you noticed Edward acting…I don't know, weird, lately?"

At first, I thought the sounds coming out of her mouth were whimpers, and I looked up at her in alarm, but was puzzled as I saw her trying to contain her giggles.

"What?" I asked, irritated.

"Nothing, baby, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you," she coughed out through her chuckles. "Yes, I had noticed he seemed a little off the last couple of days. Have you tried talking to him?"

"No," I answered, deflated. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or upset that she had noticed it, too. I was kind of hoping that I had been imagining it. Obviously not.

"Well, that sounds like the best place to start. Always go to the source."

I rolled my eyes, frustrated again. "That's a nice sentiment, but it's kind of hard to talk to him when he flees the room every time I enter it, or vice versa. I just don't get it! He was like my new best friend when I was in the hospital, but ever since we got here, especially since that day at the police station, it's like he can't stand to be around me! Do you think he regrets asking me to come here? Should I go to Florida with you?"

Her eyes softened, and she began stroking my hair again. "Bella, honey, if you want, you are more than welcome to come to Jacksonville with me and Phil. But I don't think you'll be happy, honey. You've made such fast friends with the whole family. And Lily, that child would probably stow away in your suitcase if you tried to leave her."

I sighed softly. "I didn't even think about that. No, I don't think I could leave her. And Dad needs me here, too."

"What do _you_ need, Bella? I just want you to be happy, sweetie."

I shrugged, unsure of the answer. "I _am_ happy, I think. It's been really cool getting to be a part of a big family. An extra set of parents, and two new sisters and brothers. It's been an adjustment, to say the least, but everybody's been really great."

She pulled away from me slightly, looking me straight in the face. "Hold on, rewind, please. Only _two_ brothers? Would I be correct in assuming Edward doesn't feel like a brother?"

I felt my face flush hotly, and I dropped my eyes from her playful gaze. "No, definitely not like a brother. But I'm so messed up right now, I can't even think about this, so please don't start playing matchmaker on me, okay, Renee?"

"Bella, honey, please. Don't be so down on yourself. You're not messed up. You went through something terrible, and it's just going to take a little while for everything to go back to normal. I know it might seem impossible right now, but one day, I don't know when, you'll wake up and you won't have had any nightmares. You'll be able to be around strangers and not be nervous. You won't have panic attacks and flashbacks forever. I'm not saying you'll ever forget it, but the pain will dim in time.

"Please give yourself time. As for Edward, I think everything will happen as it's supposed to, and I solemnly swear to not butt in. For now, just focus on yourself, honey. Don't worry about me, or Charlie, or even Lily. You work on your stuff. But, for the record, I do not think Edward thinks of you as a sister either, I don't think he regrets having you here, and I bet there is a perfectly good explanation as to why he's been acting so weird around you lately. Just maybe…" she trailed off, looking unsure, so I pressed her.

"Just maybe what?" I asked.

She shook her head as if to clear it from an unpleasant thought. "Nothing. I think you just need to talk to him. But we can worry about that later. Right now, _you_ are my focus. Let's get you in the shower and dressed so we can get you to Siobhan. I'm eager to meet her."

I smiled weakly back at her. "Yeah, me too."

Awkwardly, she helped me into my trash bag to cover my cast, and helped me balance half out of the tub while I showered. Unfortunately, I had a lot of practice showering with casts. Something Renee loved to remind me of often.

With not too much difficulty, she helped me dress into one of Alice's legging and tunic outfits, which I would never admit that I actually adored.

_Call me stubborn._

She opened the door to call for Emmett, and was met with the sight of a bright-eyed Lily.

"Hey, Bella! You wanna come play with me?"

Leaning on my crutch, I smiled down at her. "I wish I could, sweetie, but I have to go see the doctor today. Maybe we could play when I come back?"

She frowned. "Last time you left you came back sad. Are you gonna come back sad this time?"

"I hope not, sweetie," I tried to smile convincingly. "I'm going to meet Uncle Jasper's friend to talk. I think I'll feel better."

"Will you tell me if she's nice? I'm apposed to talk to her, too," she asked worriedly.

"Definitely, Silly Lily. I'll see you when I get back. Do you know where Uncle Emmett is?"

"It's alright. I'll take you down, Bella," Edward appeared out of Lily's room, his expression giving nothing away.

I nodded hesitantly, and he picked me up gently.

"Good luck today," he said softly as we went downstairs.

I swallowed thickly, unable to keep up with his mood swings and my own. "I'll probably need it, thanks."

He followed my mom out to Carlisle's Mercedes, helping me into the car. "Hey, if you don't like her, you don't have to go back. Whatever you want, Bella."

My dad came out of the house carrying my crutches, and threw them in the trunk before climbing into the driver's seat. Lily ran out of the front door, tearing towards the car.

"Bella! I didn't get to tell you g'bye! 'Bye!" she waved excitedly, waiting impatiently for Edward to move so she could hug me.

He opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head, backing away, leaving me frustrated once more.

"I love you, Bella! You wanna have a picnic for lunch when you get back? My Nana could help us have a tea party!" She threw her arms around my neck, squeezing tightly, and I hugged her back as best I could.

"I would love to have a tea party when I come back, sweetie," I kissed the top of her head, and she moved to Edward's side, who was just watching me with the strangest expression on his face. I waved hesitantly at him, and he snapped out of it, smiling and nodding to me, closing the door as Renee climbed into the back.

"You all set, Bells?" my dad asked, looking between Edward and I curiously.

I dropped my gaze from Edward and Lily, turning to my dad.

"Yeah, all set, Dad. Let's do it!" I tried to sound more enthusiastic than I felt. But my dad knew me better than that.

As he drove out of their neighborhood, he sighed. "You'll wear yourself out keeping that front up all the time, Bella. Promise me you'll try to talk to this lady, okay? Just try," he pled.

"I'm going, aren't I?" I snapped, immediately feeling bad afterwards. "Dad, I'm sorry-" He held up a hand, cutting me off.

"Bells, it's fine," he chuckled. "Just takes me back to when you were a teenager, and you started your woman troubles."

I laughed in spite of myself, remembering Charlie's red face the first time I had to send him to the store for pads. It was as painful for me as it was for him.

"There's my girl. I always did like the sound of your laugh. So much less annoying than your mom's," he grinned. My mom's hand swiftly came up from the backseat, clapping him on the back of the head.

"I'm right _here_, Charlie, for Christ's sake. Just because I freely express myself when I show my emotions does not make me annoying." She finished by maturely sticking her tongue out behind him.

"Like a hyena's mating call," he stage-whispered to me, sending me into a fit of giggles. I looked back to my mom, and she was trying in vain to hide her own grin.

The rest of the drive was much lighter, and my mood only started to shift again when my dad pulled into the carpark outside an office mall.

"Well, this is the address. You ready?" My dad looked at me, and I knew if I asked him, he would take me back home in a heartbeat. But I couldn't. I needed to get better. For Lily. For my new family. For my old family. For me.

I breathed deeply, plastering a fake smile on my face. "As I'll ever be."

He got my crutches, while my mom helped me to stand out of the car. We made our way inside the door, and I was struck immediately with how comforting the décor was. The walls were a light blue, and the furniture all looked comfortable, not stiff like I had been expecting. A kind-looking older woman was sitting at a desk in the front room where we walked in, and she greeted us warmly with a smile.

"Hello, welcome to Dr. Siobhan Flannigan's office. Do you have an appointment?"

I cleared my throat, trying to sound strong. "Yes, for ten o'clock. My name is Isabella Swan."

"Bella!" A large red-haired woman with a faint Irish accent stepped out of a doorway at the back of the office, smiling kindly at me. "I'm so glad to meet you."

She spied my parents, and walked forward with her hand outstretched. "Siobhan Flannigan. A pleasure."

She shook my parents' hands as they introduced themselves in turn. Instead of shaking my hand, she stepped back, and raised her arms to wave me to her office.

"Ready to get started, Bella?"

I nodded, following her back into her office, where she closed the door behind us.

"Have a seat anywhere you like, Bella."

I chose the couch against the wall, and she sat in a chair beside her desk, across from me, watching me intently.

"Well, there's no sense beating about the bush. You're here to talk about what you went through, so I'll tell you what I know. You and Lily were taken from the grocery store and kept hidden away for three weeks before you made your escape. I've seen your medical records, so I've a good idea of some of the abuse you endured. I've also been made aware of your panic attacks and flashbacks. I'd like to spend this session discussing how you're currently coping, and then I'll explain my methods in greater detail to you. Sound good?"

I was slightly taken aback by her straightforward manner, but it didn't put me off as much as I expected. "Um…sure."

"Excellent," she smiled. "So how are the panic attacks? Have you been able to handle them with the aid of the Ativan, or were you unhappy with that particular medication?"

"It works well enough, I suppose. I don't like to take it if I don't have to. Edward's usually able to calm me down, if he's there."

She put her glasses on, and regarded me curiously. "Edward is Lily's father, correct? Have you two become friends?"

I blushed slightly, but nodded. "Yes, I think so."

"You said you don't like to take the medication. Can you tell me why?"

Shrugging, I tried to verbalize how I felt about it. "I just…I don't like having to take medicine if I can help it."

"Does it make you feel weak to need it? Or is this because of the medication forced upon you when you were taken?"

Biting my lip, I tried to decide. "A little of both, maybe? I'm not sure, I just feel better when I can calm down on my own."

Cocking her head slightly, she watched me carefully. "But relying on Edward to bring you down from a panic attack _isn't_ doing it on your own. I believe in time, you will be able to calm yourself without the aid of outside forces. I'm just making sure you understand that there's no difference. Help is help is help."

I gaped at her, taken aback by her words. "So what are you saying? That I should try to fix this on my own? Because it wasn't _my _idea to stay with the Cullens. I didn't ask them for any of this."

Her eyes softened as she held my gaze. "I didn't say you shouldn't have help in the healing process. It's just that, a process, and I'm a firm believer in the 'it takes a village' theory. I simply want to point out to you that whether you use a friend or medicine, it's all the same. And _my_ goal, is to get you to a point where you need neither. I am very happy that you have so many resources available to you to aid you in your recovery. Whom would you say you are closest with, in regards to the people you are staying with?"

Thinking of them all, I smiled, more at ease with this topic. "I don't know if I could pick just one, really. Esme and Carlisle are like an extra set of parents, and they're really funny when they hang out with my parents. Emmett's great, when I don't want to kill him for making me exercise and drink disgusting shakes. He's like…the epitome of a cool, older brother. And Jasper is too, he's just more understated, but he's been great to talk to as well, on nights when I have trouble sleeping especially." She made a note on her pad as I said that, but motioned for me to continue.

"Rose and Alice are great. I've never really had girlfriends before, so it's like a whole new world."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "You didn't mention either Edward or Lily. Why?"

_Because I'm afraid you'll tell me I'm too close to her, and you'll be able to tell I have a huge, confusing crush on her father._

"I guess I figured those two went without saying."

"No, please," she implored. "Describe your relationship with both of them."

"Well, Lily and I are close, obviously," I shrugged, uncomfortably. "I…I love her. I feel like I've always loved her." I began tearing up, and she handed me a tissue kindly.

"What is it, Bella? Tell me what you're thinking."

"I," I sniffled. "I just don't want you to tell me that I can't see her, or that it's not healthy to be in her life."

"Bella, that wouldn't be my place to say either way. From what I understand speaking to Jasper, you and Edward already had this discussion. Are you confused as to where you stand in your relationship with Lily?"

"No," I answered quickly, shaking my head. "And we have a great time together, all three of us. But I'm such a mess, what if he changes his mind?"

"Well first," she began. "We're going to address something very quickly, then carry on. Calling yourself a mess, that's a negative thought, and it's another one of my goals to replace negative thought processes in your mind with positive ones. So, please refrain from insulting yourself in my presence. Or at all, really. Secondly, I can't pretend to predict the future of yours and Edward's relationship. Does he strike you as someone who would go back on his word?"

Thinking it over, I felt ashamed to be doubting him. "No, he seems loyal to a fault."

"Well, then," she smiled. "I think you already know your answer then. Can you describe your relationship with Edward?"

"It's…" I struggled, searching for the right word. "It's complicated. Or I'm making it complicated, I guess. I'm not really sure. He's been acting weird around me the last few days. I'm starting to think he regrets having me around. Or I was, until he was being all nice right before I came here. We talked constantly when I was in the hospital, and we still have a lot of fun whenever Lily's around, but when it's just he and I, he gets…weird."

"So if he's the one acting 'weird'," she used air quotes around the word, "then why do you say that _you _are the one making things complicated?"

"I…IthinkIsortofhaveacrushonhim," I mumbled quickly.

She smiled mischievously at me, quirking her eyebrow at me. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say? A little slower this time."

I huffed out an irritated breath, speaking clearly. "I think I sort of have a crush on him."

"You think, or you know?"

"Well, it's pointless either way, isn't it? He can't stand being around me, and I'm a mess. Sorry, not a mess…I'm…no, fuck it, I'm a mess."

She set her mouth in a grim line, staring me straight in the eye. "Bella, repeat after me. 'I am not a mess.'"

I rolled my eyes, seriously considering walking out.

"Bella, if you're in this room, you're here for help. You don't have to stay. But if you choose to do so, you must participate. So either I can thank you kindly for taking your time to come meet with me today, or you may repeat after me. 'I am not a mess.'"

I studied her seriously, quietly fuming and deliberating. After a few stubborn moments, Lily's face flashed across my mind, and the idea of disappointing Jasper resigned me.

"I am not a mess," I muttered disingenuously.

"Bella, you're really not. You have been through a traumatic experience, and you have survived. You have been left with scars, both internal and external, but they do not define you. They are merely symbols of your strength and what you have endured. What you went through did not leave you as damaged goods. You are entirely deserving of happiness."

Crying again, I threw my hands up in frustration. "But it doesn't really matter, does it? He won't even talk to me. I seriously doubt he feels the same way."

"And how is it that you feel?"

Wiping my nose again, I tried to answer. "Well, when I first saw him, I just thought he was really handsome. But then…what happened, happened, and I didn't really give it a lot of thought, you know? But while we were away, and I would talk to Lily about her real family, I learned more about him, and I…I…"

"What is it, Bella?"

"I would talk to him at night sometimes," I admitted, silently praying inside she didn't send me off to an asylum. When she didn't sound an alarm, I continued. "Just to tell him about how Lily was doing, or to apologize to him for taking her. I still don't understand how they don't all hate me for taking her. I feel like I should have tried harder to get away."

She held up a hand to stop me. "But you yourself said in your police statement that you couldn't have run _with_ her, and my understanding was that your abductor was in possession of a loaded gun. How do you feel you could have tried harder?"

"I don't know!" I cried. "I just do! Or why couldn't I have tried to escape the first night he took us?! I got us lost in the woods, and if Edward and my dad hadn't found us when they did, I would be dead, and Lily would have been all alone in the forest."

She waited calmly for me to finish my rant, and began speaking as soon as I finished. "Bella, under extreme stress, it is nearly impossible for our brains to function clearly. You did extraordinarily well given the circumstances. Being drugged, beaten, and starved daily did not allow you to perform at your highest capability. However, you never wavered from your protection of Lily. Jasper may have mentioned to you that this is my specialty. I have counseled many kidnap victims, and I have to tell you, children taken for much less time have suffered much more greatly. You are directly responsible for the excellent state of Lily's mind.

"You are _not_ at fault for being taken. You endured extreme abuse to keep another safe, and regardless of when you escaped, you did in fact get out. Women suffer for years under the hands of abusive men, but it only took you three weeks to gather your wits about you. Your state in the woods was also no fault of your own. There is no telling when the abuse would have started for Lily, but I assure you without a doubt, that it would have eventually. And you would have been powerless to stop it. Personally, I'd rather be lost in the woods, than beaten or watching my daughter get beaten any day of the week."

I swallowed thickly, blinking back more tears. "But she's not my daughter."

"No," she conceded. "She's not. But for all intents and purposes, you protected her as only a mother could during the time you were taken. Now, if we've established that you are not at fault for your ordeal, then I'd like to go back and finish what we started. We'll be diving into your obvious guilt at a later session. Your relationship with Edward? At your initial contact, you were attracted to him, but then you were taken. How have your feelings developed since your return?"

I blew a raspberry out of my mouth. "You don't get distracted easily, do you?" She simply smiled in response.

"Okay, um…we just spent a lot of time in the hospital together. Talking, getting to know each other. He just reads me really well, and I feel so safe around him, it's like we've known each other forever. I mean, for three weeks, Lily was practically my sole purpose for living, and when I see how amazing he is with her, it feels like everything I went through was worth it.

"He can calm me down when no one else can, not even my own parents, but it's not just that. He's so _funny_. We have, or we _had _this ease with each other, joking and talking together. And sweet, he's so sweet. He's so gentlemanly you'd think he was raised in the 1900's, but it's not in a patronizing or primeval way. Which just depresses me all the more, because I know I can't be in a relationship."

"Really? Why is that?" she asked seriously.

"Are you kidding?" I gaped at her. "I…I just can't. I'm a m-sorry. It's just…I mean, I can't, can I?"

She pulled her hair back in a ponytail, straightening up in her chair. "Why couldn't you? No one is ever one hundred percent perfect. You weren't before your trauma, and neither is Edward. Obviously, if you came to me and said you want to get married to him next week, or jump his bones the first chance you get, then I would be concerned. But if we're talking about two consenting adults who want to get to know each other, and possibly pursue a romantic relationship, than who better than someone you're friends with first?

"A man who supports you in your recovery is a good choice, Bella. I just want to make sure you understand the consequences of rushing a relationship in your fragile state. If you're not careful, you'll find yourself leaning on him too much, and I want for you to learn to overcome this trauma on your own. Whether or not you're capable of that at this point, only you know. What do you think?"

"I feel like he'd be worth it," I whispered. "Even if he didn't feel the same way, I feel like I need to tell him. Because if he doesn't, I need to hear it, so I can get over it now, before my feelings grow any stronger. I just don't want to risk Lily being hurt if it didn't work out. I know I don't _need_ him to get better…I just…_want _him."

She smiled warmly at me. "That is exactly the right attitude to have, Bella. I like hearing you sound at the point where you're confident and strong enough to show him your hand, without being adversely affected by his. Not that I would expect you not to care if he _were_ to reject you, but I don't want you in pieces over any man. You're stronger than that. Make no mistake."

I nodded, willing myself to believe her words. "Thank you."

"As for Lily, I would suggest keeping it to yourselves for a while, continue building on your friendship with each other._ Really_ get to know each other, and take it slow. Communication is key in all relationships, even purely platonic friendships. Talk. To. Him."

Bouncing my right leg nervously, I nodded. "I will. By the next time I see you, I'll have talked to him."

She beamed at me. "I'll look forward to hearing how the conversation goes. I'll have some chocolate handy, just in case."

I couldn't help but laugh, even though I felt a tug at the very real chance that I would need it.

After a moment, she sobered, getting back to task. "I'd like to go back to something you mentioned earlier. Trouble sleeping? What exactly did you mean by that?"

I rubbed the back of my neck as I answered her. "Well, some nights I can't get to sleep. I toss and turn, and end up chatting Jasper up on the phone while we watch mind-numbing TV. Other nights, my sleep is choppy. I'll wake up from a nightmare, but I can never remember it, and for some reason that unsettles me more than the rare occasion where I _can_ remember. The last few nights I've slept fine, though, all the way through the night." I frowned, thinking of the soft piano music that had been appearing in my dreams as of late. "It's kind of odd."

She nodded, making more notes as I spoke. "I'd like for us to avoid use of prescription sleep aids if possible, to prevent any further drug dependence. Do you like hot tea?"

"Yes."

"Then I'd like for you to consider something mild, like valerian or chamomile before bed to help you sleep. If that doesn't help, then perhaps you'd be willing to try a melatonin supplement. I don't know if Jasper mentioned to you or not, but I try to handle things naturally whenever possible."

I cracked a small smile at that. "You'd get along great with my mom, then."

"I don't know about that," she laughed. "Jasper told me a bit about her, and she sounds much more…at one with herself than me. So do you think you could try the tea? And consider keeping a sleep journal for me? Record how long you sleep, and if you wake up in the night. Any dreams you remember, just write it all down. You don't have to share the dreams with me, but I'd like to get a good idea of how much sleep you're getting."

"Sure, I can do that."

"Tell me how your moods are. Do you feel mostly happy? Or mostly sad? Are you struggling with anger?"

"Gosh, I don't know," I grimaced. "All of the above? It feels like I'm on the ocean and my moods go up and down like waves. I'm happiest when I'm not alone, talking to the girls, or hanging out with the guys or my parents, playing with Lily…But at the same time, I get overwhelmed easily, especially around too much noise. But when I'm alone, I can't stand the silence. I'm so snappy when I get tired, too. And today I started crying out of nowhere when Em and I were doing our exercises."

She tapped her finger against her notepad, thinking. "As much as I love all things natural, I want you to consider an anti-depressant. We'd start at the lowest dose, and it would be short-term, say, three to six months. I think it would help stabilize your moods, and it might help with your insomnia a bit as well. It might help you need the anti-anxiety meds less as well, since you don't seem to like to take them. If you decide that you'd like to try one, I'll switch you from Ativan over to Xanax, just in case of an episode."

"Can I think about it?"

She nodded immediately. "Of course. It's not a decision I can make for you. As long as you're not suicidal, I won't demand it. Once your ribs are completely healed, I'd like to have you add some yoga into your exercise regimen, specifically the breathing and concentration techniques to help with your panic attacks. Have you had any trouble with cravings since leaving the hospital?"

I squirmed in my seat a bit, unsure of how to answer. "I don't think so? I told you I get snappy sometimes, and I wonder if that's my body wanting it, but I'm so against the idea of it in my head that I…I don't know."

"Have you been taking the Suboxone?"

I nodded my head, not meeting her eyes.

"Hey, Bella. I'm not here to judge you. I don't see you as an addict with a problem. The dependency that was forced upon you has long-lasting physical effects that are out of your control. You'll only need it for a little longer. Unfortunately, your snappiness is probably a side effect of that particular drug, but the anti-depressant might help with that.

"I'd like to tell you a little bit now about how I work, and then I'd like to hear any questions _you_ might have for _me_. I already told you about replacing negative thought processes with positive ones, and over the coming sessions, I'll be giving you some light homework." She laughed at my sudden scowl.

"Yes, homework, but no essays, I promise. Just some self-esteem building exercises. We'll also be addressing the panic attacks head-on. By that I mean, that through gradual exposure to stimuli, I will help you overcome the triggers that send you into attacks and flashbacks. In your journal, it would be helpful for you to write down any time you suffer from one, and what brought it on…You look afraid, am I scaring you? What are you feeling?"

"I don't know, I'm not sure," I stammered. "Just the idea of a panic attack makes me feel like having one, and you want to purposefully egg them on? It just feels kind of…overwhelming, I guess?"

"The idea of it might sound a bit scary, I know. And I won't lie to you, I _am_ going to push you. If I let you stay in your comfort zone, you'll never move past anything. But I said _gradual_. We'll discover and identify one trigger at a time, and you will be amazed at the sense of accomplishment you will feel the first time you're able to stare down one of your fears in the face. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it in the end."

"So how often will I be coming in to see you?"

She narrowed her eyes in thought, nodding to herself. "I think we should start with once a week, in solo sessions. I'd like to see you once every other week with Lily as well, and if you and Edward were to decide to start a relationship, I think it would be beneficial for the two of you to come see me as well. Not weekly, but a few times. I'm not a couples' therapist, nor could I pretend to be, but it's good to have a strong foundation when developing something potentially long-lasting. And if you're going to be a permanent fixture in Lily's life, it shouldn't be something either of you enter lightly."

_One more thing to worry about._

"So you'll be seeing Lily once a week as well. Alone?" I asked worriedly.

"I imagine I'll alternate between solo sessions and sessions including her father, to help her feel more comfortable. Would you like to see the room she and I will be talking in?" she smiled.

Confused, I looked around stupidly. "She won't be in here?"

Grinning, she stood, and I followed suit, pushing up with my crutches. "Oh no. This is my grownup room. Let me show you."

She opened the door and stepped across the hall, opening the door on the other side. We stepped through into a wonderland. There were shelves of toys, chalkboard paint on the walls, cushions on the floor to sit on, and more shelves filled with books and coloring supplies.

"I'm jealous. How come I don't get to come in this room?" I laughed.

"You will, on Lily's days. The way it will work is, you and I meet once a week. I'll have Edward alternate the sessions with the three of us as well. I understand your mother doesn't live here? Will she be attending any of the group sessions with the whole family?"

Feeling saddened at her imminent departure, I shrugged my shoulders. "She'll be back in a couple of weeks for my birthday. I'm sure she'll come to one, then. And my dad will be driving in from Forks whenever we have them, and he says he'll be coming in on the weekends."

"Will you miss them?"

"Yeah. I'm more worried about my dad. He's all alone in Forks, my mom's got Phil, her husband."

"Well, I look forward to meeting them more thoroughly in due time. You did well today, Bella. Before we meet again next week, I'd like for you to work on that journal that we discussed, and I'll send you home with some drug information about the different anti-depressants I was considering. Did you have any questions for me before we call it a day?"

I studied the carpet intently as I worked up the nerve to speak my mind. "Do you…How long do you think I'll need to come here?"

She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "There is no timetable. You will heal in the time that is right for _you_. Please don't put that pressure on yourself. Take it week-by-week, day-by-day. Call and set up your next appointment sometime later this week. It was lovely to talk with you, Bella."

I bit my lip, trying to keep tears at bay, for I-didn't-know-why. "I liked talking to you, too, Dr. Flannigan."

"Please, Bella. Call me Siobhan. No need for formalities here."

"See you next week, Siobhan."

She beamed at me, leading me back out to the waiting room, where my mother was watching my dad snore sitting up on the couch. Rolling my eyes, I limped over to him, knocking him in the leg with my crutch.

"Hey, old man! Time to rise and shine," I giggled.

He awoke with a start, scowling at me and rubbing his leg. "Old, old…everybody's always raggin' on me for being old. You wait 'til you're forty-three, I can't wait to call _you_ old."

Tossing my hair back haughtily, I smirked down at him. "Whatever. I've decided to stop aging past twenty-five. I'm taking a page out of Mom's book."

Rolling his eyes, he stood, shaking his head at me. "Right. What are you again, Renee? Thirty for the thirteenth year in a row?"

"Just thirty will do, Charlie. No need for the add-on," she smirked. "And that doesn't mean you're getting out of a birthday celebration, Bella. It's already planned."

Stopping in our path to the car, I gaped at her. "What plans?" I screeched.

Rolling her eyes, she brushed past me towards the car. "Oh, Bella, honestly. Will you never change? Just a family dinner with everyone. It's even going to be at home, not at a restaurant."

Rolling my eyes right back, I slid into the front seat carefully. "Whose home? The Cullens?"

"Of course, dear. Charlie, turn on the radio. Somebody's starting to get cranky."

I crossed my arms in a huff, but couldn't stop smiling when my parents began singing Journey at the top of their lungs, bringing back memories of car trips to the beach when I was a kid, before the divorce.

By the time we got home, my bitter spirits about my birthday were alleviated somewhat, and I grinned when I saw Lily waiting out front with Edward, in full tea party gear. She wore a long strand of pearls, a feather boa, and a big, floppy sunhat. I started full out laughing when I realized Edward was in a plaid bowtie and top hat, wearing both with pride. He held her back by her shoulders, as she waited excitedly for the car to pull into the circular driveway.

Once the car stopped, she bolted to my door, throwing it open and jumping inside, right on top of me.

"Yay! You didn't come back sad!" she yelled.

"Oof!" I gasped, as all the air went out of me.

"Lily! That's too rough! Bella's still healing, honey!" Edward pulled her off immediately, and she looked appropriately chastised. "Bella, are you okay?"

Holding my ribs, I nodded, my eyes shut tightly. I peeked one eye open to see Edward scowling and setting Lily down on the ground.

"Damnit, Bella, don't lie to me. Does it feel like she reinjured your ribs? Or did she just knock the wind out of you?"

I bit my lip, trying not to cry at his harsh tone. I hated feeling like I was on a rollercoaster of emotions all the time. "Just took my breath away for a second." I moved slightly, testing myself. "I feel okay, though. Please, don't be mad."

A frown creased his forehead, and I wanted to reach up and smooth the line away, just for an excuse to touch him.

_Don't be a perv, Bella. _

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'll take you in to rest."

I tried in vain to keep my temper in check.

_Quit fucking telling me what to do!_

Ignoring his outstretched hand, I pulled myself out of the car, but tripped on my crutch, falling headfirst towards the concrete. His arms wrapped around my waist quickly, and he pulled me back up flush against his body.

_What was I mad about again?_

"Slow down, Beautiful. You don't want to end up with another cast. Do you want me to take you inside?"

_Oh, yeah. Well, at least he asked this time._

"No, I really want to have our tea party. I promised," I breathed, almost dizzy at our close proximity.

"If you're sure you're up to it." His voice was deep and husky, and I almost moaned.

_Don't be a whore, Bella._

He loosened his arms around me, and I turned to face him. I almost gasped as I realized his eyes were fixed on my lips.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to hurt you." Lily's quiet voice burst the bubble we were in, and I turned to her, smiling.

"I'm fine, Little Thing. Just be careful, okay? Now, how come I'm the only one without a cool hat on?"

She grinned and took off for the front door. "I've got stuff for you inside Bella! I'll go get it! Meet me in back!"

I looked back at Edward, who was smiling enigmatically at me.

"What?"

"You're really great with her, Bella. You're a natural."

I blushed, shrugging my shoulders. "She's easy to love."

His eyes swept over my face, and I felt the air thicken again the way it had been the last few days. At some point my parents had made their way inside, and I realized we were alone. Desperate to keep him from pulling away again, I blurted out, "So I think Lily's going to love Siobhan. She's great."

It worked, and for the first time in three days, we were actually having a conversation without Lily around. It was about her, but still.

"Really? That's awesome. I'm supposed to get to see her the day before Lily's appointment."

I furrowed my brow, confused. "I didn't know you were going to be seeing her on your own."

He smiled again, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, Jasper convinced me. You remember the other day when she wanted to go to the park? Well, I didn't want her to go because I was afraid something could happen to her. I get really anxious when I'm away from her. I've had some fucked up dreams. I also can't go inside a grocery store," he laughed weakly.

The thought shook me as well, and I was glad he was going to get help, too.

_No need to be crazy all alone._

"I'm glad you liked her, Bella. You're not just saying that, right? You won't hurt anybody's feelings…" He watched my face intently, trying to catch a lie.

"No, seriously. She's…she's just what I need. She's warm and friendly, but she's not going to let me get away with anything, I can tell. And the room she has for kids, it's _awesome_. You won't be able to get Lily to leave."

He breathed a sigh of relief as he listened to me describe it, and it felt good to help calm _him_ for a change. But before I could enjoy it, I felt the air tense again as I saw him stiffen, his hands clenched into fists at his side.

"We should get to the backyard before Lily starts without us," he forced out, but his face was rigid, as if he were struggling and in pain. He started to move away from me to pick up my crutches, and my hand shot out to grab his before he get too far away.

"Edward, wait," I cried, frantic to end this awkwardness between us. Siobhan's word reverberated in my mind. _Talk. To. Him._

His eyes were fixed on our joined hands, and he was breathing heavily, as though he was angry, but I wouldn't let go. We were talking about this. Now.

"I…I need to know what's going on. The last few days you've been so distant, and if you were upset with what you heard at the police station, I'm sorry, but you know what they say about eavesdroppers, and…I just don't understand," I said lamely. "It's like you can't stand to be around me unless you have to, and if…if you're regretting having me come and stay here, please, you can tell me, it's alright…"

I paused as his eyes shot to my face in alarm, and he opened and closed his mouth like a fish for a moment, obviously at a loss.

_So that's it, then. He doesn't want me here. _

I tried to keep tears from falling, and they burned my eyes as I tried to look anywhere but at him.

"I hate knowing that I've made you uncomfortable. You should have told me sooner. I have my apartment, or I might go with Renee-"

It took an entire ten seconds for me to realize he had dropped my hand and thrown his arms around me, holding me tightly but not painfully. I felt one of his hands at the back of neck, and the other was fisted in my dress at the small of my back. His touch felt almost desperate, and his breathing was ragged. I actually whimpered at his touch, wanting him to just let me go so I could get inside and fall apart without a witness, but simultaneously relishing the contact, since I knew it likely wouldn't happen again.

_I don't suppose you're going to stop thinking long enough to let him get a word in edgewise, are you?_

_Or, you could just keep being completely self-involved, thinking everything revolves around you._

_God, my common sense angel is a __**bitch**_**.**

I felt his lips against my forehead as he began to speak.

"Bella…" he rasped, sounding like he was absolutely choking for air. "I'm…_so sorry_ if I made you feel like I didn't want you here. You…never doubt that, Bella, please. I l-…want you here, always." His grasp tightened around me slightly, and I raised my own arms to wrap around his waist. He moved his hands up my body to cradle my face, tilting it up towards him.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Bella. I have so much going on in my head right now, sometimes I can't process it all at once. That's another reason I'm going in to see Siobhan. Maybe then I'll feel less scattered, but…"

The tears finally fell from my eyes as I read the pain in his, and I shook my head to stop his unnecessary apology. I felt terrible for upsetting him.

"No, Edward. Don't apologize. You have as much to get through right now as I do. And I know you try to stay strong for everyone else, your family, Charlie, me, and Lily. Especially me and Lily. I'd probably fall apart if I were under that much pressure, and I'm sorry I've added to it now by making you feel guilty…"

He moved my face into his chest, effectively shutting me up. He kissed my forehead briefly for a second, keeping his lips there as he spoke.

"Bella."

"Yes, Edward."

"Please shut up."

"Yes, Edward."

I felt his smile against my skin, and I couldn't help giggling into his chest.

"You tell me to do that a lot, you know."

He pulled my face back gently, his eyes dancing with playfulness. "Yeah, well, you talk a lot, you know."

Rolling my eyes, I shoved him in his chest, but he grabbed my hand, not budging an inch. His face grew serious again as he held my hand to his chest, rubbing the back of it softly with his fingers. He took a deep breath, never breaking eye contact with me, and the fierce look in his eyes made my knees feel weak.

_He can make me swoon just by holding my hand and looking at me. I'm probably going to pass out if he ever kisses me._

"Bella, I-"

"Dadd-eeee! Bell-aaaa!" Lily's shrill voice rang out from behind the house, and he closed his eyes, looking almost frustrated for a few seconds, before opening them and smiling reluctantly.

"We're being paged," he teased. "Would the lady care for a ride?"

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

He didn't respond, but simply reached down and swept me into his arms bridal-style, walking us around the house to the back patio. I gasped, and looked back at my crutches on the ground in the driveway.

"I could have walked," I grumbled playfully.

"Yeah, but then you would just fall again, and I'd end up carrying you anyway. I'm just skipping an unnecessary step. Saves you the pain of falling, and me the heart attack of watching you fall. Everyone wins, Bella," he grinned.

"I'm not _that_ bad," I sighed in mock offense.

"Yeah," he snickered. "Actually, you are."

"There you guys are! You took forever! Look, Bella!" Lily was jumping up and down, pointing at the amazing spread she had worked up. A small table, low to the ground was littered with covered plates and a full tea set.

"Nana helped me. Here's your stuff, Bella. Daddy, put her down right here. She's going to sit in the middle 'tween you and me."

He obeyed, setting me on top of a cushy bean bag, and Lily began adorning me as soon as he stepped away.

"You want a necklace or feathers, Bella?" She held them up for my inspection, and I had a feeling she wanted me to pick both to match her own ensemble.

"Both, please."

She beamed, placing them around my neck, and then set a huge sunhat on top of my head.

"Maybe I should go get some makeup. Do you want some, Bella?"

"No, no," I rushed out, and I saw Edward begin to laugh silently beside me. Glaring at him playfully, I got an evil idea. "But maybe later Daddy would like for us to paint his nails. As long as they're a boy color it should be fine."

Her eyes lit up, while his widened in shock.

"Yay! I have blue. And green! That's perfect, Bella. Are you ready for tea?" she asked sweetly, picking up her little pink teapot.

Sitting up primly, I picked up my cup, holding it out to her. "Oh yes, please, Lily."

She copied my movements exactly, holding her chin up high and setting her shoulders back. "Here you are, Bella. Daddy, would you like some tea?"

He picked up his cup, grinning adorably in his top hat and bowtie. "I would, princess. Thank you."

After pouring some for him and herself, she sat back down and began uncovering the plates in the middle of the table. I was amazed to see actual tea sandwiches, cut into the shape of hearts.

"Lily…How?" I stuttered, in awe.

"My Nana helped me. Oh, I almost forgot, here." She held out two birthday candles, sticking them in the cupcakes next to the sandwiches.

"Nana says I can't have real fire, but we can pretend. Oh! And we need the music." She ran over to the wall by the door, where a Hello Kitty CD player sat plugged into the outlet by the door. She hit play, and I choked on my apple juice as _Kiss the Girl_ began to play through the little pink speakers.

"I…I forgot something inside. I'll be back in a minute." She disappeared into the house, and I felt my face heat as I realized what she was trying to do.

_Sneaky little thing._

I chanced a peek at Edward next to me, and saw him rubbing his forehead, shaking his head and chuckling.

_At least he doesn't seem repulsed at the idea._

And before I knew it, I was full out laughing. The worry and the stress of the last three days alleviated by our talk, the catharsis I felt from making it through my meeting with Siobhan earlier, the growing optimism I felt towards my future, everything spilled out of me in bubbling, uncontrollable giggles. Edward covered his face completely in his hands, laughing just as heartily as me. We slowly calmed to awkward snickers, neither of us addressing the _gigantic _elephant in the room. Well, patio.

_No fucking way I'm talking first._

I was swallowing hysterical chuckles, caught in his amused gaze, when his eyes widened and he slapped his palm down on top of the table, pointing towards the backdoor. He burst into hysterics again, and my head whipped around to find what was so funny. Lily stood there, hands on her hips, with the most adorably confused scowl fixed upon her face.

I tried to cover my mouth with my hand so she wouldn't think I was laughing at her, but failed miserably. I waved her over, and she ventured outside slowly, regarding us like we had gone insane. Edward was choking he was laughing so hard. I pinched his leg under the table, and he yelped, jumping up.

"Ow! Ahem. Lily, I thought you forgot something. What'd you forget, princess?" His shoulders continued to shake in laughter, but he fought valiantly to keep his face straight.

Her eyes widened as she realized she didn't grab anything, so I decided to help her out.

"I think she went to get some napkins, Edward…But it's okay, Lily, we have some right here! Sit down so we can have our tea party now, okay?"

Her eyes flew down to the table, finding the napkins and then nodding emphatically. "Yeah, napkins. Okay, I want cupcakes. But those sandwiches are probly gross. They have vegebatles in them."

I picked one up, humming as I took a bite. "No, Lily, they're delicious. They're tea sandwiches, cucumber and cream cheese. They're good! Try one. Don't you think so, Edward?"

I glanced over at him, but he was just staring at me with his jaw slightly open.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I wiped my lips with my thumb, and I could have sworn I heard him groan.

"No," he sighed, closing his eyes briefly. When they opened, they were dark, but he smiled at both of us. "Let me try one of these sandwiches. They look great, Lilybug. You had lunch already, anyway. If you don't want one, you don't have to. You can have a cupcake."

I was utterly confused as to what had just happened in the last two minutes, but I didn't have much time to ponder over it, as she thrust a cupcake into my mouth.

"They're really good, Bella! I made them with Nana!"

"Oomph! Thithy!" I choked, trying not to laugh and spew cupcake everywhere.

Edward didn't even try to contain his laughter, wiping his eyes as he looked at my chocolate spattered face.

_Oh, you think that's funny, do you, Cullen?_

I swiped a cupcake off the table, shoving it in his face, not even trying to aim for his mouth. The force knocked his ridiculous top hat off. I smeared it all down his face, and for added measure, wiped some of the chocolate off of my own face to try and rub more on him. He cried out in shock, grabbing my hand before I could reach him, and picked up a sandwich, batting away my giant sunhat, mushing it straight on top of my hair.

"Edward!" I screeched, reaching for anything I could to fight back with, completely aware that Lily was in hysterics beside me.

"I wanna be a mess! I wanna be a mess!" she sang, picking up the little teapot of juice and pouring it right on top of her head.

My ribs were starting to ache from laughing so hard, and another evil idea popped into my head. I stopped trying to grab at the mess on the table, wrapping my arm around my ribcage and closing my eyes. I heard Edward sober immediately, rising and coming behind me to check me.

"Bella, are you alright?" His voice sounded so concerned, I almost felt bad. Almost.

_Sucker._

I picked up the plate of remaining cupcakes and lifted them right behind my left ear, where I had heard him approach me. I caught him square in the face, cupcakes falling all around me as they slid down his face. Carefully, I turned, hoping he wasn't too angry with me for tricking him.

He was sitting completely still behind me, with his hands in his face. My heart sank at the thought of hurting him, and I reached out slowly to pull his hands away.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tricked you like tha-"

He moved forward with no warning, roaring and wrapping his arms around me, smearing his chocolate covered face all over mine and my hair. Lily shrieked beside us in laughter, clapping her hands with glee.

"Edward! Stop! Uncle! Uncle!" I cried out, laughing so hard my ribs actually did start to hurt.

"I think it's time we got our Little Thing dirty, too, don't you?" His voice tickled my ear, and I gasped at his use of the word 'our'. He pulled back enough to see my face, and I nodded happily, tears shining in my eyes.

"One…two…three," he mouthed, and we both leapt into action, grabbing anything and everything we could at first touch, tossing them blindly at Lily.

"Eww! Eww! Yucky vegebatles! It's in my feathers! Yucky!" she giggled, not sounding the least bit concerned about her ruined outfit.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!"

All of our heads whipped around, and Edward's arm was frozen in mid-air as we turned to see Esme and Renee staring at us in absolute shock. My mom's mouth was open so wide I thought flies might buzz in, and Emmett, Carlisle, and Charlie came running at the sound of Esme's screech.

"What the…No way! There was a food fight and I missed it?!" Emmett whined loudly.

"I…I…" Esme sputtered, completely at a loss. "I should hose all three of you down. I thought you were going to have a tea party?! Who started this mess?!"

Lily and I automatically pointed at Edward sitting between us, who glared back at me with a shocked grin on his face.

"No way, Mom! It was them, I swear!"

I started giggling uncontrollably at the sound of Edward begging his mother to believe him like a little boy. He seemed to realize the ridiculousness of the situation at the same time, his mouth quirking up into his crooked smile. He pulled Lily into his lap, wrapping his arms around her.

"It was really the cupcakes, Mom. They started it. We had no choice but to retaliate. I promise not to get the house dirty."

Her lip twitched in spite of herself, before she rolled her eyes and looked away quickly to hide her growing smile.

"You'd better not, young man. You get that child inside and give her a bath while I clean this mess up. Renee, would you help Bella shower? Emmett, you can carry her. You wanted to be part of the fight so much, I'm sure you won't mind getting a little dirty. Carlisle, be a dear and go grab the hose for me. Charlie, would you make Renee and me a couple of martinis? Our children's antics have aged us, and we need a drink."

Charlie simply nodded, wide-eyed, and Carlisle clapped his shoulder in sympathy. "The apple never falls far from the tree, my friend. Alice had to get it from somewhere."

Charlie turned and went back in the house, still looking a little stunned. Carlisle took off for the side of the house, and my mom headed inside, presumably to meet me in the bathroom. As Edward picked up Lily, he caught my eye, and gave me his crooked smile and a conspiratorial wink before taking her inside. When I looked to Emmett, he was staring at me with a raised brow, which made me blush instantly.

"Sorry I'm going to get you all dirty, Emmie," I tried to pout for added effectiveness, and it seemed to do the trick.

He sighed dramatically. "Just next time give your bro a heads up, B. I live for a good food fight."

"Deal," I grinned as he swept me up to take me upstairs to my mom and another awkward shower.

_Totally worth it._

*

**Reviews make me very, very happy.**


	23. Chapter 23 A Hard Night's Day

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, but the plot is mine. Copyright 2009-2010 isakassees**

**A/N: I end the last chapter with a family food fight, and start this one off with a sex dream. Let it never be said that I am boring. I've never written anything remotely citrusy before, so please don't crucify me if it sucks.**

**Here's the deal: I had many ideas that needed to be tended to in this time period, specifically, I felt, in EPOV. Because of that, this chapter just wouldn't end. So…I am splitting it up to make it easier to read, and will be posting the second part later this week.**

**In the meantime, I will be posting two outtakes that I did in correlation with this chapter, and post those in between the chapter updates, so it will give you something to do. Those are on my outtakes companion story on my profile.**

**God Bless EBT for not killing me yet. Thank you to bellamarie117 for her help proofreading this chapter.  
**

Chapter 23: A Hard Night's Day

EPOV

(August 24th)

_I'm in bed, willing my hard-on into submission. It's not easy, knowing the most beautiful woman in the world is sleeping next door, wearing nothing but a little shirt and…fuck. I have to do something to relieve this. Taking a cold shower this late at night isn't an option, so I reach inside my bedside table drawer to grab a bottle of lotion. A bottle of Bella's lotion, but nobody needs to know that. I didn't steal it, I bought my own, so it's not creepy._

_I slip my boxers down, almost sighing in relief as my cock springs free of its confines. I'm surprised at this point that it's not actually blue. I pour a generous amount of lotion into my hand, sliding it easily up and down myself. Suddenly, my door opens, and I rush to cover myself with the sheet, trying desperately not to look like I was just jacking off, immediately going soft at the thought of Lily coming to sleep with me._

_Instead, my hard-on returns full force when I see the object of my fantasy peek her head into my room, smiling shyly._

"_Is everything okay, Bella? Do you need something?"_

_A fire I've never seen before in her eyes sweeps over me, from head to toe, and she bites her lip coyly, looking at me through her lashes. _

"_Just you. I thought I heard something. Is everything okay in here?"_

_I almost choke at the thought of her hearing me jacking off, but hopefully it's too dark for her to read my guilty face. Before I can respond, she slides quietly and gracefully over to my bed, sitting down right beside me, where my cock has raised the sheet into a tent. She smirks, eyeing my rather large problem with a raised brow._

"_I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" she asks in a voice that is dripping sex._

"_I…" I try to answer, but then I actually do choke when she reaches up and pulls down my sheet, revealing my naked lower body. I'm too shocked to do anything but groan when she tentatively reaches over and grasps me firmly in her small, delicate hand. She feels sooo much better than my hand. My brain can't even begin to comprehend how or why she is in here, touching me._

"_Edward?" she purrs, just like a fucking sex-kitten._

"_Hmmm?" I struggle to make any noise other than a deep groan as she strokes me slowly, up and down, squeezing my head. "Aaah!"_

"_What do you think about when you touch yourself?" she asks innocently._

_My eyes, which had closed to keep from losing it two seconds into her touching me, pop open immediately, shocked by her question. Does she really want to know? Will it freak her out?_

_Well, fuck. She came in here and grabbed me. I'll tell her._

_I open my mouth to speak, right as she palms my head again, so all I can muster is a croaky, "Bellaaa."_

"_Mmmm," she moans. "You think about me, Edward? Because I think about you. About you taking me. Making me yours."_

"_Fuck!" I snarl, turned on beyond comprehension at her words, at the mental image of her, touching herself, calling out __**my**__ name. "I have to touch you, Beautiful. Please let me touch you."_

_She says nothing, but stands and slowly slips her panties down from underneath her shirt. Not satisfied to not be able to see all of her, I rise to my knees quickly, ripping her shirt over her head without even asking permission. As I stare over her body in awe, I can't help but feel it appropriate that I am on my knees in front of this woman, this goddess._

"_Ed-ward," she sings playfully. "I thought you were going to touch me._

"_I need you. I need you to touch me, Edward," she moans._

_I actually whimper at her words, because I need her, too. I need to touch her. Sliding my hand up her silky thigh, I lightly stroke my thumb across her clit, and she jerks in response. Instead of the moan I expect and hope to hear, she cries out as if in pain. Curiously, I reach over to touch her again, but she's backing away from me, wide-eyed and fearful._

_What have I done? _

"_Bella…"_

"_No. No. NO. NO! Edward! Help!"_

I shot up in bed, sweating, scared out of my fucking mind, trying to comprehend how the fuck the best dream of my life just warped into a sick nightmare.

"_Help! No! Not Lily!_"

I heard Bella's muffled voice through the wall of my bedroom, and sank back against my pillow for a second, my brain finally catching up with what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I saw it read 10:45. Every night the same. I should set an alarm for preventative measures or some shit.

"_Please. Help! Help!_"

I tossed the covers off of my body, trying not to think about the slowly softening problem I had down below. Slipping on some sweats quickly, I shuffled over to my door and opened it quietly. Checking on Lily before heading downstairs, I was relieved to see her snuggled up with her army of stuffed friends, looking completely peaceful. Padding as quietly as I could down the stairs, I opened the door to the music room, leaving it ajar as I crossed over to the piano.

I had discovered by accident last week that playing the piano soothed Bella's sleep, calming her nightly torments. The easy solution would have been to give her a CD, but I liked feeling needed. I liked doing something for her, even if she didn't know it.

_Especially after I was such an asshole that she was going to leave._

I began playing her lullaby, as I thought over all the ways I had been so awful towards her. Of all the people on earth, I _never_ wanted Bella to question whether or not I wanted her. I wanted her in every possible, imaginable way. But ever since I realized I was in love with her, I was terrified to be alone with her. Renee's words haunted me.

_Don't ruin your chance at something beautiful by jumping the gun._

Every time I was around her, I had to fight my body's urges to make my desire for her known. I was almost stupid enough to tell her the day she met Siobhan. I thought that if I just wasn't around her alone, if I removed myself from temptation, that would be enough. It never even occurred to me that she would notice or be bothered by it. Which was completely stupid on my part, because she was one of the smartest women I'd ever met. To hear her say she thought I didn't want her here, that she was actually considering leaving, for _Florida…_I would have shipped myself in a crate to follow her there. I almost swept her up into my arms and told her right then, but Lily had saved me from making that horrendous mistake.

My daughter's poorly concealed attempt to set up a romantic picnic for Bella and I was now one of my most favorite memories of my life. I wasn't blind to Lily's feelings towards Bella. They were the same as my own. I wanted Bella to be Lily's mother. More than anything, I just wanted her to be mine. That food fight had to have been the most fun I could ever remember having. She awakened a playful side in me that I didn't even know existed. Maybe it didn't before her. I found myself more alive and imaginative when playing with Lily, but it never failed. As soon as Lily was out of sight, I could hardly contain the urge to just grab Bella and kiss the hell out of her.

But since our talk, when I realized that if I didn't pull my head out of my ass I would lose any chance with her, things had lightened. It was still hard to not lean in when she was _so close_ and just kiss her. When I would let myself relax, I had more fun talking with her than I could ever remember having with anyone else in my life. She was witty and snarky as fuck when we would go back and forth, but the way she was with Lily…

Patient beyond all reason, loving and indulgent, but never spoiling. There was nothing more beautiful than watching Lily sitting with Bella, or reading or playing or napping…

Glancing down at my watch, I saw I had been playing for over twenty minutes, so it was probably safe to go back up to bed. Creeping up the stairs as quietly as possible, I paused outside Bella's door, relieved to hear nothing but breathing come from inside. I hoped tonight wouldn't be too bad, but if I needed to get up again, so be it. I wasn't sure how her dreams would fare knowing Renee and Phil were leaving tomorrow, but I was prepared to do whatever she needed.

_Christ, she's got me so fucking wrapped around her finger, and she has no fucking idea._

Slipping into bed, I fell asleep quickly, not waking again until morning.

*

(August 25th)

I awoke with a start, before my alarm. Today Renee and Phil were flying home to Florida, and not coming back until Bella's birthday in a couple of weeks. I was _terrified_ that she might still change her mind and go with them. She had spent the whole day with them yesterday, and just that brief period away from her had been torture. I had worried about her the whole day, only able to be distracted by playing with Lily.

I showered and dressed as quickly as possible, wanting the chance to say goodbye to Renee and Phil. Bella and Charlie were driving them to Sea-Tac, and then hopefully, as long as Bella stayed, would be spending the day together, just the two of them, before he drove back to Forks tonight. His leave was up, and he was starting work again, bright and early tomorrow morning.

I slipped inside Lily's room to wake her and dress her for the day, but she wasn't in her bed. I heard voices coming from inside the closet, and smiled as I recognized Bella's soft voice talking to Lily.

"Lily, aren't you worried you'll be a little hot if you wear that many layers?"

"But Bella, I love all these. And they all match, 'cause they're pink!"

I heard Bella's sigh, and could imagine her rolling her eyes and smiling beautifully at my little girl's stubbornness.

"But do you really think you need to wear them all? If you wear all your favorite shirts today, what will you wear tomorrow?"

"Um…"

_Ha. Bella always knows just how to get her._

"So what do you think I should wear? I wish I had clothes like yours. I want us to match."

"Hmm…You like dresses with leggings? Because I think I saw some leggings in your dresser. And this dress would be perfect! But you know I won't be around today, maybe we should match another day."

"Bellaaaa. You were gone all day yesterday. I want you to play with me today," Lily's shrill voice whined, and I waited to see if Bella needed help defusing a tantrum.

"You only want to play with me today? You don't want to play with me tomorrow? Because I want to play with you everyday," Bella replied, using the same whiny voice on Lily.

I heard Lily's shocked gasp, and bit my knuckle to suppress my laugh.

"Oh no! I want to play with you tomorrow! All the times!"

"You know how Papaw Charlie is my daddy, like Edward is your daddy?"

I didn't hear a response, so I assumed Lily had nodded.

"Well, today is the last time I'll get to see him for a whole week, so I really want to get to spend time with my daddy, like you get to everyday. I was _hoping_ maybe we could all have dinner together tonight before he left, but if you're going to whine, I'm not sure…"

"No, no, no, no. I'll be good. I wanna get to have dinner with Papaw Charlie. Are you sad that Nana Renee and Baseball Phil is leaving?"

"A little," Bella's voice softened considerably, and I decided to make my presence known before Lily upset her further.

I pushed the closet door open, revealing Lily clad in at least six different shirts and Bella in one of Alice's dress and leggings combinations. They smiled up at me like the two angels that they were.

_Christ, I am turning into such a sap._

"Lily, you look very beautiful today, princess."

"I'm gonna match Bella tomorrow, Daddy! Can you take 'er downstairs so we can eat? I'm hungry." She took off for the kitchen without waiting for a response, but it wasn't like I would say no either way.

Bella tried to start raising herself up, but I didn't let her strain herself, lifting her easily.

"You know," she huffed. "If I keep gaining weight with Emmett's diet plan, you're not going to be able to do that quite as quickly as you're used to." She tried to sound annoyed, but I could see the smile she was trying to hide.

"Please," I scoffed, as we made our way downstairs. "Don't question my strength, woman. Me man. Me strong."

She burst out laughing, causing everyone to turn towards us when we entered the kitchen.

"What's so funny?" Lily demanded, eager to be included.

"Nothing," Bella chuckled. "Your daddy's just being a caveman, that's all."

Lily crinkled her forehead up, confused, but got distracted when my mom placed a muffin in front of her.

I helped Bella steady herself against the counter, then walked over to the table to help Lily unwrap her muffin. And not a moment too soon. Renee came out of nowhere, throwing her arms around my neck, sniffling into my shoulder.

"Oh, we'll miss you all so much, Edward!" She leaned back slightly, placing her hands on my shoulders for a moment.

_Ah, checking my aura. How I'll miss this._

She slowly pulled back, and she cupped my cheeks, smiling brightly. She hugged me again, and whispered softly in my ear, "Being in love suits you, Edward. I know you'll make her so happy. Please take care of her for me."

My eyes widened in shock, and she pulled back, smirking at me before turning to go back to Phil.

_How'd she know I love her?_

Shaking my head at the mystery of Renee's mind, I nodded to Phil, and he shook my hand warmly.

"We'll be seeing you, Edward. Take care."

Charlie appeared from behind me, carrying Bella's crutches.

"We'd better be getting a move on. Car all packed, Phil?"

"All set, Charlie. Thanks for taking us," Phil nodded.

"Everyone take some muffins with you! You need your breakfast, and Bella made them for us this morning. They're her special recipe," my mother urged, placing muffins into everyone's hands before they left.

"I'll miss you, Nana. Will you bring me back some seashells from the beach?" Lily asked, holding her arms out for a hug from Renee.

Renee wrapped her in her arms tightly. "Of course, sweetie. We'll be back before you know it. You have fun playing with Bella, okay?"

Lily grinned, nodding happily before turning back to her muffin. I looked up to see Bella leaning on her crutches, watching her mother with shiny eyes.

"We'll see you later tonight, Bella?" I asked hopefully, trying to hide the panic in my voice.

She snapped her eyes to mine, gazing at me sweetly. "We'll be back before dinner. I'm making lasagna, so make sure you're hungry."

I sagged in relief, forcing myself to believe that she'd be alright, if Charlie needed help, he'd call.

_Do not think about car wrecks, panic attacks, flashbacks, clumsy beautiful brown-haired girls on crutches on escalators, psychos with guns…_

_Fuck!_

That appointment with Siobhan tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.

*

After four rounds of hide-and-seek with Lily, two showings of _The Little Mermaid_, and an hour of Barbie weddings, I was ready for a nap. Unfortunately for me, Lily had other ideas.

"Daddy, I need to talk to you about something serious."

My heartbeat quickened in my chest, worrying over what she might want to discuss.

_James? Nightmares? Was she hurt by him?_

"What is it, Lily? You can talk to me about anything," I choked out.

"I want to make Bella's perfect day."

I actually laughed in relief, earning me a hard look from Lily.

"It's not funny, Daddy. It needs to be perfect. We need to do it on sleepover night. That's part of it. And everybody's gotta be there. But Bella's mommy and daddies are gone now, so what if it's not perfectest enough?"

I sighed, confused. "Tell me about the perfect day first, and then we'll see how to make it perfect enough."

She tossed her Barbie aside, jumping up quickly, completely excited. "Okay...well, first, you gotta let me wake up with her, 'cause we gotta get breakfast in bed."

"What kind of breakfast?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. With whipped cream. But not on the bacon. That'd be gross. And then we get to spend the whole day outside. Bella said she wants for me to go to my favorite playground. Can we _please_ go, Daddy? Don't be mad."

Her plea sent a pang through my chest. "Lily, I'm sorry I got so upset the other day. I just get worried when I'm away from you, but you didn't do anything wrong. We can definitely go, but Bella won't be able to play very much with you, okay? It's not good for her to walk too much on her cast."

"You could carry her," Lily suggested, all bright-eyed and innocent.

Laughing back at her, I replied, "I don't know if Bella wants me hauling her all over a playground, Lily. We'll see, okay?"

"'Kay. And then we get to make tents in here, with chairs and blankets and stuff. And we all sleep together, and we can watch a movie and have a fun sleepover!"

"And this is _her_ perfect day? Not yours?"

She shook her head. "No, remember? You're taking me to Disneyworld. When are you gonna take me to Disneyworld, Daddy?"

_Well, you walked right into that one, didn't you, Cullen?_

"Why don't we wait and go after Bella's cast is off and she's all better? That way she'll have lots of fun, and she can do all the fun stuff with you."

She nodded, but held out her pinky. "You gotta promise, Daddy. I _really_ wanna go."

I latched onto her pinky, kissing it and winking at her before I let it go. She blinked back at me, making me laugh.

"You know a wink's supposed to only be one eye, right, Lily?"

Her face got serious as she shook her head, frowning. "No, Daddy. That's the secret look. Me and Bella's."

I gulped audibly, taken aback by the sudden turn in conversation. She hadn't brought up anything to do with her time in the cabin in days.

"Yeah? Secret look, huh? What's it mean?"

She shrugged, like it was no big deal. "Uh, lotsa stuff. It means 'I love you', it means 'be good, Lily', it means 'excape stuff', and it means 'go to your room'…

"And then we got away, and you found me. Bella promised you were looking for me." She smiled up at me like I was her hero, and I couldn't stop myself from gathering her up into my arms to hug the life out of her.

"Bella was right, my little Lilybug. I never stopped thinking about you for a minute," I rasped.

Suddenly, she pulled back, looking around the room. "Make sure we have all the stuff we need, Daddy. I'm gonna go draw up a picture of what I want it to look like. That way you'll know the right way to build my tent. You can stay here and play with my Barbies, okay?"

She disappeared out the room, thundering up the stairs to the desk in her bedroom.

*

Left to my own devices, I spent the rest of the afternoon pacing, trying to wrap my head around exactly what happened with Lily, and trying to resist the need to call and text Charlie and Bella every five minutes to make sure everything was alright. I was so distracted with my brooding that I failed to notice when Bella and Charlie finally returned, when I was brought out of the living room by a mouthwatering smell emanating from the kitchen.

Leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, I watched silently as Bella, Lily, and my mother worked together preparing Bella's lasagna. The lights in the top and bottom ovens showed two already baking, while they worked over two more on the counter.

"I assume at least one of those is for Emmett, right?" I asked, causing everyone to look my way.

Bella's answering smile lit up the whole room, as she motioned to the one before her. "This is his. I'm _hoping _he'll share, but if not, we've got salad and breadsticks to help keep everyone else from starving. And hopefully the lure of my cheesecake for dessert will encourage him to leave some room."

"Cheesecake?" I looked around, hoping for a pre-dinner sampling.

"Oh my gosh, you're as bad as Emmett. Esme, how did you ever keep them all full growing up?" She rolled her eyes at me, turning to my mom.

"I kept the kitchen well-stocked and drew them both maps to the pantry when they turned thirteen," my mother smiled sweetly.

"Very funny," I mumbled, playfully ignoring the two women laughing together. Wandering over to the table, I sat down next to Charlie, who was watching Bella with a wistful look in his eye.

"Can I get a minute with you, Edward? Outside?" He rose as he spoke, not really waiting for an answer. I followed him out the back door, catching Bella's curious look as we slipped out. I gave her a playful wink, making her blush, even though my stomach was fluttering.

_Did something happen today? She seems fine, but…_

He sat on one of the deck chairs, and I followed his lead, sitting across from him. He scratched his chin, twitching his mustache in the way he did when he was deep in thought. Unable to wait, I blurted out.

"Did something happen today? Was Bella alright? Did she have any panic attacks or anything?"

He chuckled, rubbing his forehead in amusement. "Down, boy. She was fine. We just spent the day talking at her apartment. Just wanted a quiet day with my little girl. Guess I know what you did today, you ol' worrywart. You'll go gray, son, if you don't ease up a bit. But that is what I sort of wanted to talk to you about."

"Me going gray?" I asked, utterly confused.

He leveled me with his don't-be-stupid-boy-I'm-Chief-Swan stare, and I actually cringed back in my seat a bit. I had only ever seen him give that look to Jacob Black. Being on the receiving end was not fun.

"Bella."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "Leaving my only child under the care of someone else would usually require me to make the 'please take care of her for me' speech. But you and I both already know that's not necessary, 'cause you can't keep your eyes off her. So here's about where I would normally get out my gun to clean it in front of you while we discuss all the places across Washington state that I can hide a body."

I gulped. Hard.

He sighed, shaking his head at me, smiling ruefully. "But I don't need to do that, do I, Edward? I'm not stupid, you know. Every time she comes in the room, you look at her like she's the sun and the moon. And God help me, she... Here's the deal, son. I know Emmett'll help her get stronger, and you all will get her to her appointments with that therapist so she'll get better, but I'm counting on _you_, Edward.

"I need to know she'll be taken care of in a way that only someone who loves her, the way she deserves to be loved, can. You're that man, Edward. I've heard you, every night this last week. I need to know if she's scared at night, you'll play for her. If she's being stubborn, you'll push her. If she's lonely, you'll see to it she doesn't pull away. I know I'm asking a lot, I know you've got to take care of your daughter, too, first and foremost. But _my_ daughter deserves nothing less than what I've said. I need you to promise me you'll give it to her.

"You're a good man, and there's no one else I'd rather trust her to than you. But I need your promise, Edward." His words seemed to catch in his throat, and he looked away, swallowing hard.

For my part, I sat in shock, speechless.

"Charlie…I…" I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts. "I'm so…honored that you're placing that trust in me. I swear to you on my _life_ that I will do whatever she needs me to do for her to get better. I'd sooner hurt myself than cause her pain.

"You have my word, Charlie." I held my hand out for him, and he shook it firmly, looking me square in the eye.

"Thank you, son." He stood and walked back inside, taking a seat at the table where everyone was gathering together.

I took a minute to sigh in relief, congratulating myself on surviving 'the talk' with Chief Swan.

_Now, if you could just grow the balls to tell Bella, you'd be all set. Because so far, Charlie, Renee, Esme, Jasper, and by default Alice are fully aware of the fact you are head over heels for her, but she doesn't have a clue._

_What was Charlie going to say? She…what? Did she talk to him? Could she…_

_It's too soon. She needs more time._

_Well, since you're all-fucking-knowing, I won't bother mentioning the fact that she'd slap you for making decisions for her._

"Stupid, fucking, incessant, inner-monologue, won't shut up," I muttered as I made my way back inside only to be met with my sprite of a sister.

"Everything okay there, Edward?" She smirked at me, and I wondered if Charlie had talked to her before talking to me. They were, as she said, BFFs. I was pretty sure that was her term, not his.

"Everything's fine, Alice." I elbowed her out of my way, taking a seat at the table. Conversation flowed freely, and I found myself more involved in my interactions with my family than ever before. Lily took turns bouncing from lap to lap, spending a lot of time with Charlie. She enjoyed tugging on his mustache, which he found amusing.

"Bella used to do the same thing, Little One."

"Little Thing," Lily corrected, making Bella burst out laughing.

Dinner passed by too quickly, and I ate to the point of pain. Even my mother had to admit that Bella's lasagna was better than her own. And I think everyone in my family had a miniature orgasm when they tasted their first bite of her cheesecake, as disturbing as that thought was to me. Best dinner of my life. We gave Charlie and Bella a few more minutes alone to say their own goodbyes while Emmett, Jasper, and I loaded up his cruiser. A few manly handshakes between us, and he was gone for Forks.

Bella watched his cruiser drive away from the doorway, sniffling a bit while holding Lily.

_Wait, holding Lily???_

"Bella, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I cried out in alarm.

_He just left the driveway and already she's disobeying doctor's orders. Does she want him to shoot me?_

Emmett appeared from behind me, snatching Lily out of Bella's arms. "B, are you kidding me? How did you even pick her up?!"

"Lily, you know better. Bella's not all healed, honey. You could have really hur-" I chastised her, but stopped short at the heartbroken expression on Bella's face.

"Please don't be angry with her," Bella whispered. "It was my idea. I wanted to cuddle, so she climbed a chair so I could hold her. I'm sorry. I…I…Could somebody take me to bed?"

I exchanged quick looks with Emmett, and he nodded briskly, still irritated. "Can you take Lily to Mom, Em? I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in, alright, Lily?"

"'Kay, Daddy.

On one hand, I felt awful, because I couldn't imagine how hard it was for Bella to have to say goodbye to her whole family in one day. But on the other, she could really do some damage and delay her recovery if she wasn't careful. Tamping my temper down, I picked her up and carried her up the stairs.

"I'm really sorry, Edward," she said softly.

"I know, Bella," I sighed. "But you could hurt Lily too, you know. If you had lost your balance, and dropped her…"

Her tears started flowing freely, and she wrapped her arms around my neck tightly.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting like I'll never see them again. And I didn't even think about Lily being hurt. It would kill me to hurt her," she sobbed, and I sat down on the edge of her bed, holding her in my lap.

Running my fingers through her hair, I just held her, letting her cry it out. My anger from earlier completely evaporated, leaving me hurting right along with her, feeling helpless.

"Bella?" I whispered quietly. "Tell me what I can do to make it better. I'm here for you, your dad'll be back really soon, and your mom. I could get Rose or Alice if you want."

"Can we…" she sniffled. "Can we just sit like this for a while?"

"Of course, Beautiful."

A few moments passed before she spoke again. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you always call me beautiful?"

"Because you are," I answered honestly. "If it bothers you, I'll try to stop, but I think I do it without realizing it half the time."

She giggled softly into my chest. "I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a girl _not_ wanting to be called beautiful on a regular basis.

"I think I'm ruining your shirt," she started to pull away, but I held her tight, not wanting to lose this brief moment of closeness.

"Shh. I don't care about my shirt, I care about you. Blow your nose in it, I don't care."

She laughed harder this time, and I could have stayed in that moment forever. Unfortunately, my sister had other plans.

"Knock, knock," she called softly from inside Bella's door, standing with Rose. "We wanted to come check on you, but if you'd rather we came back…"

I shared a look with Bella, realizing now that our bubble had burst that I needed to go check on Lily. She rolled her eyes and jerked her head back towards the door.

"Go. Tuck Lily in. Tell her I'll see her tomorrow, and I love her, please?"

_I love you, too._

It was on the tip of my tongue, but I choked it back down, knowing now was not the time. I slid her onto the bed, trying to peek inside the bags Alice was holding as I walked out, but she snatched them back, piquing my curiosity

"Uh-uh, brother. Get lost. This is women business. Shoo." She shut the door in my face, leaving me gaping as to what the hell they had planned.

_What the fuck?_

*

Lily's story time and tuck-in went smoothly, although I did have to change my shirt after Bella's crying jag. As I was changing in my closet, I couldn't help but overhear bits and pieces of the girls' conversation next door, along with random squeals.

"…_guys are nuts!"_

"_But Bella, stress relief…"_

"…_and if Lily finds…"_

"_It locks here…"_

"…_so embarrassing…"_

"_I have three…"_

"_Rose!"_

I shook my head at their nonsense, unable to make heads or tails of it. It wasn't really that late, but the worry of the day was catching up with me, and I was ready for a good night's sleep. Setting my alarm for 10:30 just in case Bella had a nightmare, I settled into bed, falling asleep quickly.

*

(August 26th)

Besides the fifteen minutes I played Bella's lullaby during the night before, I slept solidly through the night waking in the morning to the sound of my phone.

"Mmm…Hello?" I mumbled, not quite awake.

"_Edward! This is Detective Scotts. I've been trying to get in touch with you, have you received my messages?"  
_

I sat up quickly, fully alert now.

_Fuck, I didn't want to talk to him._

"Um…Look Marcus, now isn't really a good -"

"_Edward, please. I know watching Bella's questioning put you off. I'm giving you my solemn word that Lily's won't be that way. You can even see the questions beforehand if you'd like, be in the room with her, end it whenever you feel she's had enough. We need to get this done, Edward. I'll even have the therapist come to you if you want. We can do it at your home. No pressure to get it all done today, just start the process. Once that part of the case is closed, the DA's will file a motion to pull Harrison's plug."_

_**That **__is very tempting. Talk about incentive._

I sat in silence for a moment, deliberating.

"Can Jasper be there? He helped set those consults straight in Port Angeles."

"_Absolutely. Is there any way we can get this taken care of today?"_

I exhaled a deep breath, running my hand through my god-awful bed head.

"Marcus, I don't know…I've got my first meeting with Lily's therapist today, and…"

"_Edward, it's got to be done. Please."_

I tried to silence the frustrated growl in my throat before I relented, sighing.

"Fine. My appointment's at nine, and then I'll come back to the house. We'll be waiting for you."

"_Thank you, Edward. And heads up, Sharo-"_

"_Edward Cullen! This is Sharon Waters. Please tell me that you were about to call me so we could discuss the media shitstorm that has descended upon my life! I know it's only been a week since you lot got back home, but you've got to give me something. Even if you only pick one station to do an exclusive with or a magazine. They're going ape shit on me, Edward. Lily's young enough she doesn't even need to be present. You could speak for her. I'll be calling Bella later today, a-"_

"Please, let me talk to her about it. We'll call you once we make a decision. She's still recovering," I begged, not caring for a second if I sounded pathetic.

"_I'll give you 'til the end of today, Edward. But you __**call me back**__. Otherwise I've got no choice. It's the only way life will go back to normal for you, Edward. Give them a short piece, and they'll back off. Leave them with their tongues wagging, and they'll eat you alive._

"_I know that paparazzo in the hospital left you with an awful taste in your mouth, but the people I'll connect you with aren't anything like him. They just want a smart, sharp piece of journalism to pass on to the public. I would never send you off to someone that wasn't professional, I hope you know that._

"_With you as the single father of a well-known family, and Bella a best-selling author, I'm afraid the public won't rest until they've gotten a piece of you. Talk to Bella, call me back. Can you do that for me?"_

"Yeah, Sharon. I'll call you back before the end of today. I've got a doctor's appointment and Lily's statement, but after that, I'll talk to Bella."

"_Alright, Edward. I'll be waiting for your call."_

A resounding click echoed in my ears, and when I heard a knock on my door, I snapped.

"What?" I shouted angrily.

The door opened slowly, revealing a timid-looking Bella, leaning on a crutch, holding a plate of eggs and bacon.

"Bella…how?"

She smiled, blushing and looking down at the ground. "Emmett and your mom helped me. I wanted to make sure you got something to eat before you saw Siobhan…"

_Jesus Christ, did this woman bring me breakfast in bed? I swear to God I'm going to marry her…_

"I'm sorry, Edward, if now's a bad time…"

"No, no," I protested, rushing over to take the plate out of her hands. "Thank you, Bella. It's just…thank you. That was Sharon. Sharon Waters?"

She shook her head, confused, but limped closer to the bed, as I set the plate of steaming food down on my nightstand.

"She's the police media liaison," I explained. "She wants us to schedule an interview. With a TV station or national magazine." I paused to let her absorb that piece of information.

She blanched, beginning to breathe quickly in gasps. "But…but…I can't do that, Edward. I don't want to do that. I don't like interviews. At. All. That man…I don't want to talk about it to a bunch of strangers that are going to print it for a bunch more strangers. Please! Don't make me do this!" She grew increasingly frantic, until all I could do to calm her was fold her into my arms and breathe her in.

"Bella," I mumbled into her hair. "When you were…gone, we resorted to talking to every available news outlet. The story made national news. You remember how fucking crazy it was at the hospital? I'm afraid if we don't just give these people something it'll always be like that.

"I can't do that, Beautiful. I want to be able to take Lily to the park without worrying about camera phones and tape recorders. I want to be able to live normally without being on alert against crazies jumping out of bushes at us.

"I'll do it with you. We'll get your dad here if you want, fly Renee in, whatever you need. Every single member of my family is yours now, and at your disposal."

Lifting her face up to mine with my hands, I gazed deeply into her eyes, trying to soothe her and convince her all at once.

"All I'm asking is that we go and talk to them. The second they upset you, all you have to do is blink, and we're out of there, I swear."

Her face split into the most beautiful grin I'd ever seen. "Blink? She told you? Like this?" She blinked slowly at me, the same way I had seen Lily do the day before.

Smiling at her and fighting back tears, I nodded. "She did. It can mean lots of things, you know. Like, I'll always keep you safe…I won't ever let anyone hurt you…you're the best thing that's ever happened to us…whatever you need it to mean, it will. Trust me, if I had my way, we'd never even bother to talk to these people.

"You were so brave talking to the police, but you won't have to go into that much detail. It might…it might give other women courage to get away if they're being hurt by someone like _him._ And had the circumstances been different, the news coverage might have proved helpful while you were gone, and I'm grateful, I guess, for them giving us the air and print time to get our story out there."

"_Our_ story?" she asked, pressing her cheek firmly into my hand. "So you'll be there, too? I just don't think I can do it alone, Edward. I need you there."

Tightening my arms around her again, I promised, "Never alone, Bella. I'll be there. One interview, and then never again. They can reprint it and redistribute it to their hearts' content."

"I'll call Angela and have her talk to that Sharon lady. We'll let the two of them figure it out. Angie knows me, she knows who I can handle talking to," she said firmly, as if convincing herself.

"Your agent Angela?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's really nice."

"I know. She helped us with the hotline a few times. I'm surprised she hasn't been by to see you yet."

Bella gaped at me, shocked. "She didn't tell me she helped you guys! She is so sweet. She's actually on the other side of the country right now helping her fiancé pack. He's moving here, finally, now that he's done with grad school. You'll like him, too. His name's Ben. He's even quieter than she is, but once you get to know him, he's a lot of fun."

"I look forward to it. Here," I grabbed a pen off of my nightstand and turned her hand palm up. "This is her number, pass it on to Angela. That should keep Sharon off my back and yours for a couple of days while they get it all set up."

I finished writing on her hand, but didn't release it right away, marveling how her thin, little hand fit so perfectly into my own. I wasn't sure how long I spaced out for, but when she cleared her throat, I jerked my head up, embarrassed.

She was biting her lip, but smiling slightly. "I'll let you get ready. Good luck with Siobhan today. Not that you'll need it. She's great, really."

I frowned, not in response to her assurance, but at remembering the other part of my phone call and what I would have to do after. She misread my face and began rambling.

"Really, Edward. And even if you don't, you know, take your own advice. Just because I'm going to see her doesn't mean you and Lily have to see the same person. I'll go whenever you need me to, wherever you want."

"No, Bella, it's not that," I silenced her rambling with a weak smile. "I just remembered what I have to do after the appointment, and I'm really not looking forward to it. Lily's got to give her statement."

Her face went ashen, and I wished I'd just kept it from her, but she'd find out eventually anyway.

"But…but…she's just a kid. She shouldn't have to go there." Her pouty bottom lip began to tremble, and I pulled her into my arms once more, for her comfort and my own.

"Shh. No, it's okay. It won't be like yours. Short, sweet, and here at home. Jasper's going to be here for it. He'll make sure they don't upset her. I can stop it whenever I want," I tried to calm her, running my hands over her hair.

"Do you want me to be there, too?" she whispered, her voice quivering, and I wasn't really sure what to do.

"I…I don't know if that's a good idea, Bella. I don't want you to hear anything that might upset you. You've already had to go over it all once, and that really took a lot out of you. And I don't want Lily to be afraid to upset you, either. I think you should probably…not." I pulled her back slightly to read her expression, but she looked torn herself.

After a beat, she nodded, pushing up on my shoulders to stand. Motioning toward the forgotten plate, she tried to smile. "You should eat while it's still hot." She hesitated, but before I could ask her what was wrong, she leaned down, kissing my cheek softly. She turned and practically fled the room, as fast as her crutch would carry her, closing my door behind her.

My food was stone cold before I took my hand off my cheek where her lips had touched.

*

Waiting for Siobhan to finish up a phone call, I texted to pass the time.

_-Hey Jazz, can you be at the house by 10? Need pro help with L._

_-Already at the house. See you when you get here._

_-Dr. Maggie Johnson & I will be at house by 11. Thank you-Marcus_

"Edward?"

I looked up to see Siobhan smiling at me expectantly.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you ready to start?"

Nodding, I rose, following her back to her office.

"Sit anywhere you'd like, Edward."

I chose a comfortable-looking couch against the wall, and I thought I saw her smirk before she sat down in a chair across from me. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she crossed her legs and eyed me speculatively.

"So…" I mumbled uncomfortably.

She took pity on me, smiling kindly. "So…you're here to talk about how you're coping now that your daughter has been returned to you after a three-week abduction. You know I've spoken to Bella, and I know she's staying with you and your family while she recovers. I'm looking forward to meeting Miss Lily for the first time later this week. And I was very glad you decided to come in to see me. So…what are your main concerns?"

I huffed out a long, drawn-out breath. "Everything? I don't know…My nerves, I guess. I'm really anxious all the time, whenever I'm away from Lily or Bella. All I can think about is everything that could go wrong. At night, sometimes I have dreams about all the different scenarios where they could be hurt. I haven't let Lily leave the house without me since we got back, and she's starting to notice."

"Okay, we'll start there. The first step you need to understand is that you cannot control the universe. Lily will get hurt in life. Scrapes at the playground, bullies at school, and you cannot protect her from everything. If you try, you'll drive both her and yourself to insanity. I can understand your reticence, given that she was so viciously taken during a mundane everyday errand, but you cannot allow your fear to rule you."

"But how do I just get over it?" I retorted, agitated. "How are we supposed to do anything normal ever again?"

"You start out _slow_," she answered softly. "Baby steps. For all of you. I understand you were concerned about Lily traveling to the park without you? First, we get you and her to the park. Then, we work on letting her go with someone else, while you wait at home. We'll specify exactly how long she'll be gone, and repeat it, like an exercise. Once you've grown comfortable, we'll start expanding it."

I shook my head, not wanting to admit the idea had merit. I _would_ have to go back to work eventually. "That doesn't help with being nervous about Bella. It took everything in me yesterday and Saturday to not call and check in on her every other second."

"What were you worried about exactly?" she questioned, studying my face carefully.

"Everything!" I exclaimed. "The woman trips on air! And there are reporters out there looking for a story, she's had God-knows how many panic attacks and flashbacks, and it's not like James is the only psycho on the planet! What if something happens to her? What if she needs me and I'm not there? I can't fail her again."

"Fail her…again?" She nodded her head to herself, staring at the wall. "You feel guilty for not being able to stop her from being taken. Lily, too?"

I snorted. "Of course Lily, too. I just stood there. I just stood there and watched him hit her, and touch her, and take them away. Bella almost died, and Lily's not the same, either. Some days she's just like she's always been, but it comes out randomly. I thought she might have ADHD before she was taken. Now, she can sit and get completely lost playing for hours, totally silent. Unnaturally silent. It freaks me out. I want her jumping off the walls."

"You're not a very patient man, are you?" she chuckled. "Seriously, Edward. You've got to give it more time. I don't know if you realize it, but you're putting an exorbitant amount of pressure on everyone, including yourself, especially yourself, trying to 'get back to normal.' They were found August 7th? I have to tell you, three weeks is not a long time in the recovery timeline. You're concerned with Lily playing silently. Does she do this often?"

"Well," I scratched my head, thinking. "She did it mostly when Bella was in the hospital. Now that we're home, she usually enlists someone to play _with_ her."

"So, what you're saying is that in the days immediately following her return, she exhibited behavior conducive to her time away, but in the days progressing forward she has begun opening up more instead of withdrawing further? That's recovery, Edward. That's her little mind healing at the pace that's right for _her_, and it's important you see that. If she feels like she's failing you because she's not 'normal' enough for you, it'll only set her back. Children are remarkably perceptive. Don't underestimate her ability to realize something's wrong, and for her to naturally assume she's done something to displease you."

_I think this might be what Bella meant by not getting away with anything._

"I'd like to go back a moment. To this guilt you feel regarding what happened. Edward…Look at me, please." My eyes snapped to hers, wary and confused. She looked me dead on, completely serious.

"It's not your fault."

I looked away immediately, swallowing hard and gritting my teeth. "I don't need this _Good Will Hunting_ bullshit. I know the truth. I'm her _father_. I'm supposed to protect her."

"Edward," her voice rang clearly and firmly out into the room. "It is not _bullshit_. You protected her by not angering the man holding a loaded gun. You protected her by not giving up and by searching for her. What happened in the grocery store was an example of something out of your control. You. Did. Not. Fail. Her. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault.

"I don't expect for you to be able to let go of this guilt you feel today, but I cannot allow you to sit in this room and berate and blame yourself. If you voice a negative thought, I will address it. Every time. I must ask you…if you feel as though you are at fault for _allowing_, as you see it, Lily to be taken, then do you blame Bella for taking Lily?"

"What?! No!" I shouted. "What the fuck could she do?! He put a fucking gun _in her mouth_. He flat out said he'd kill me and her if she didn't listen to him. If Bella hadn't gone with him, he would have just taken Lily, and she'd probably be dead. Anyone else would have taken off running the second they made it outside and left my little girl there alone, but Bella stayed with her. Bella almost died protecting her. She shouldn't have had to do that. It should've been me."

"But that wasn't what James wanted. He wanted her, and he wanted Lily. _He _is the real person at fault, Edward," she explained calmly. "The guilt you feel is normal, not because you are to blame, but because you are a good father who loves his child, and something terrible happened to her that you couldn't stop. But James is the guilty one. If you can't fault Bella, then you really can't fault yourself. The same train of logic follows each case."

"I could never fault Bella. She's so imperfectly perfect it's insane," I laughed softly. "She's too stubborn, and too independent, but fiercely smart. She was a fucking genius to find a way out of there. She kept him pacified so he'd leave Lily alone, and she never let Lily forget who she was for a second."

I looked up to find her watching me carefully. "You sound like you care about her a lot."

"I don't know if 'care' is strong enough of a word." Shaking my leg nervously, I wondered if she could read between the lines. I didn't want to say it out loud. Not for the first time. Not to her.

She smiled thinly, nodding slowly. "Why?" she asked simply.

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I get it. You're just like Jasper. You think the only reason I could l-care about her the way I do is because of what she did for Lily. You're dead wrong. I wanted her the second I saw her. I almost fucking kissed her in the grocery store that day before all that shit happened. Even when she was gone, and I had no idea what she was going through to save Lily, I thought about her. I've been falling for her since the moment she called Lily a giggle monster on that filthy floor in the middle of all those apples.

"I've never _in my life_ had someone I could talk to for hours. She and I…we practically finish each other's sentences. She can calm me down and reassure me with just a look. My whole life I've grown up watching my parents have this amazing relationship, and then I brought Jasper home from college for a break and he and Alice fell in love at first sight, Emmett met Rose at their wedding, and boom! Everybody's all paired up and living happily ever after.

"And I've always been happy for them, and I've got Lily, so what else do I need, right? I was really starting to think that kind of thing just wasn't in the cards for me. But since meeting Bella…I can't help it. I've always wanted that kind of happiness, and when I'm with her…it doesn't seem so far out of reach. You think it's a bad idea, don't you?" I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees in defeat.

She furrowed her brow. "Do I think what is a bad idea?"

I frowned back at her, trying to decide whether she was serious or mocking me. "Me and Bella. You think it's a bad idea, right?"

"I'm confused, Edward. Are you asking me for permission to date Bella? Because I would think that's a conversation for the two of you to have."

"Ah!" I growled. "Enough with the fucking run-around! For all I know, Bella doesn't see me as anything other than a friend, but I'm trying to find out if you think it's even healthy for the two of us to try and be in a relationship. I mean, Lily is my number one focus, always. I want to get her in here, talking to you, and moving past all the bullshit that's happened. I want to get her acclimated to normal life again, and I don't want to do anything to hinder her in any way."

"Edward, if you're asking me in my professional opinion if you dating Bella would harm Lily somehow, then my honest answer is I don't know. Only you can decide if you can balance both aspects of your life. You strike me as a very passionate person. If you get swept up in Bella, will Lily suffer for it? Most definitely. But are you capable of being involved romantically with Bella and still care for Lily? And if things didn't work out, where would that leave the three of you? Because Bella is an integral part of Lily's life now. If Bella couldn't return your feelings, or even possibly wanted someone else, would you be capable of platonic friendship with her, for Lily's sake?

"These are things you need to figure out for yourself before you even consider broaching the subject with Bella. I would think you might not want to tell Lily at first, provided Bella returns your sentiments, until things are a bit more stable. If for no other reason than to not get the child's hopes up. What are your thoughts on what I have said so far?" She regarded me patiently, letting me work through it all.

"Honestly?" I smiled sadly. "I just want her to be happy. I want, more than anything, to be that person for her, the one to make her happy. But even if I wasn't, if she didn't feel the same, or…" I choked, but cleared my throat through the rest of my thought. "Or if she cared for someone else…she's the closest thing to a mother Lily's got. The connection they have is like nothing I've ever seen. I couldn't take that away. From either of them, no matter how much it killed me.

"Apparently I'm Captain fucking Obvious, because Jasper, our moms, _and_ Charlie have all spoken to me about it. I get it, I do. I know we would have to move slowly. And as strongly as I feel about Bella, I could never forget my responsibility to Lily. I don't think Bella would allow it. She loves Lily almost as much as I do."

"It sounds like you know who you need to talk to, then. Just remember that friendship is a wonderful basis for a relationship. Culture that as you pursue your romance. Communicate with her. It would probably be good if the two of you came in for a few sessions together. Without Lily."

I laughed humorlessly. "First I've got to tell her. Then we can talk about couple's therapy."

She grinned in return. "Don't think of it as couple's therapy. That's not really my cup of tea, anyway. Think of it as…foundation training. And yes, it would probably be best if the two of you had this conversation between yourselves first."

"Right," I nodded to myself. "So how exactly do I go about doing that?"

"Ah-ah-ah," she teased. "That's up to you and Cupid, dear. Don't rush it; you'll know the right time when it hits you. And I have to tell you, Edward. The best thing you can do for your relationship with Bella, as well as Lily's recovery, is to work on healing yourself. It's easy to brush things under the rug, but that never makes them go away.

"Don't use Bella and Lily as reasons to avoid facing your own demons. They both deserve more than that."

_Definitely not going to get away with anything._

"Okay, fine," I conceded. "Let's talk, Doc."

We spent the remainder of the hour talking more at length about my guilt for not being able to stop their abduction, my concerns for Lily's recovery, our therapy schedule, and my feelings for Bella.

"Before we finish up for the day, would you like to see the room we'll be talking with Lily in?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course," I answered, excited. "Bella told me it's really great."

She smiled, setting her notepad down on the desk as she stood. "Follow me."

We stepped across the hallway into a kid's treasure trove. "Wow. Bella told me about it, but I really had no idea. I really _am_ going to have trouble getting Lily out of here."

Looking around, I couldn't help but feel _this_ was where Lily should talk about her ordeal, not at home. That place should remain our sanctuary. This room just felt _right._

"Did you have any questions before we ended today?"

"Just one," I began slowly. "What are you doing in about an hour?"

*

With plans to return with Marcus, Jasper, and Lily in about an hour, I drove home feeling two tons lighter. Reflecting over the session with Siobhan, I was pretty pleased with how things went overall. As I pulled up to the house, I was eager to share it with Bella. Walking into the foyer, I was met instead with a pacing, frustrated Emmett.

"Em?" I cautioned. "What's up?"

Without a word, he angrily pointed to an obnoxiously large vase of red roses. Walking over to them, I didn't see a card.

"I don't get it, Em. What's with the flowers?"

Faintly, I heard Bella's voice carrying through the house, coming from the living room, possibly.

He hissed a sharp breath in, blowing it out slowly.

"Jacob Black."

*

**A/N: Dun, dun, dun…Next chapter up…Friday? Monday? I'm not sure, but the outtakes will be up later this week. One of the girls' conversation and another of Charlie and Bella's at her apartment. RosePOV and CharliePOV, respectively.**

**I've also offered myself up on the Fandom Gives Back Eclipse Author Auction thingy, to anyone who's interested. I'll do a one-shot from any POV requested from any chapter.  
**

**Fic Rec's (Haven't done these in a while)**

**Take the Ice by bellamarie117 (Hockeyward)  
**

**The Unaccompanied Soul by JMCullen09 (Abandonward)  
**


	24. Chapter 24 A Hard Day's Night

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine.**** Copyright isakassees 2009-2010  
**

**A/N: So glad nobody killed me for the cliffie! I'm really sorry I was unable to get it out to you by Friday, but this chapter was incredibly difficult for me to write. I have two daughters very close to Lily's age, and her statement just about did me in. I've never had a chapter where I actually rewrote it more than twice, until now.**

**I was very excited to hit 7k in reviews, so thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I try to respond to as many as possible. Thanks as ever for all the alerts, faves and recs. **

**Special thanks to songster for her help with all my police and therapy questions. She's a very patient person for reassuring me. Again and again and again…**

**This chapter is brought to you today by EBT and bellamarie117 and the letter K. You'll figure out why later.**

**If ever a chapter of mine could be considered a rollercoaster, this one would be it. You have been warned.**

Chapter 24: A Hard Day's Night

EPOV

"What the fu-hey Lilybug!" I caught myself just barely, trying to conceal my simmering rage from my daughter's watchful eyes, as she popped up out of nowhere.

"Hey Daddy! I'm so glad you're back. Do you like my flowers? Bella said I could have them!" she clapped her hands excitedly, and my eyes shot to Emmett, trying to understand what the fuck was going on.

He clenched his teeth and shrugged his shoulders, waving his hands about exasperatedly.

"Bella gave you her roses, Lily? That was really nice. I thought you didn't like roses, though?"

"Weeell," Lily drawled, "I actually do, but I didn't want to 'cause Bella doesn't, but she said we can like different stuff and that's still okay. She didn't want 'em, so she said I could have 'em. Do ya like 'em?"

"They're beautiful, sweetie. Have you seen Bella?"

She crinkled her nose up unhappily. "Yeah. She's on the phone in the living room. She is _not_ in a good mood, Daddy. I'm gonna go finish painting Uncle Jazzy's fingernails." She scampered off up the stairs, leaving me reeling.

"Emmett, talk to me. What's going on? How did he get our address?"

He shook his head angrily. "Fuck all if I know, man. They showed up right as we were finishing up her exercises, and my dumb ass let it slip how he helped find her out in the woods. She was all set to just toss them, but then she got all weepy, talkin' about how she needed to thank him, and to just give her a minute. She's been in there on the phone for over twenty minutes now, but Mom caught me listening in and kicked me out here."

Gritting my teeth, I thought quickly. "You distract Mom. I'm going to go in there. I need to know if he's trying to worm his way back in somehow. Charlie'll have a fucking coronary if he finds out about this."

He nodded firmly. "Normally, I'd rag on you for not being able to handle a little bit of competition, but no way that fucker's good enough for my sis."

I gaped at him stupidly for a few seconds and he rolled his eyes in response.

"Really, Edward? You didn't think I could tell? I know I can be about as dumb as a bag of rocks, but even _I'm_ not that blind."

I narrowed my eyes at him, before he shrugged sheepishly.

"Well, Jazz told Alice, and anything Alice knows, Rose knows, and she tells me everything, so…It's like a domino effect, man. There's no escaping it in this family, really."

"Do you guys have freaking pow-wows about my fucking love life? I mean, has anybody let it slip to Bella? Because I'd really prefer she heard it-"

He lifted up his giant paw to stop me. "Can we discuss this later? We have an enemy to eliminate. And if you want her to hear it from you, then grow some balls and man the fuck up. I can probably keep Mom occupied for about half an hour. Fix. This. Shit."

He stomped off and I tore down the hallway, trying to appear casual as I strode into the living room. Bella was talking animatedly on her phone, pacing/limping on her crutch back and forth across the room. She was too enwrapped in her conversation to notice me, so I just sort of slid over to a rocking chair in the corner and listened quietly.

"Jake, it's just not a good idea."

"Fine! Then for the last time, answer me…Does your girlfriend know that you sent these? What are you playing at?"

"Ha! So that's your way of saying she has no idea."

"No, Jacob. _Friends_ do not send each other disgusting peacock displays and sign notes, _with all my love._"

I bristled, tensing in my chair. The movement caught her eye, and she looked up at me, surprised.

"Jake, wait. Just hold on a minute.

"Edward! Hi," she cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I'm just dealing with a…situation that's come up. I don't suppose my dad has anything to do with the fact that no one bothered to tell me about Jake in the search party?"

I bounced my leg nervously, trying to come up with a good explanation.

_I am going to __**kick**__ Emmett's ass. If Charlie doesn't get to him first._

"Well…Jake, you say? There may have been a Jake in the search party. I wasn't aware you two knew each other?" I tried to use my crooked smile to look more innocent, but it faltered a bit under the look she leveled me with.

"You're next on my list."

She pulled the phone back up to her ear, resuming her conversation. "Look, Jake, I think I should go."

"What? Oh, that was Edward."

"Edward Cullen, Lily's father."

"Yes," she sighed. "Of course he's staying here, too."

"What!" she shrieked. "How dare you? What the fuck business is it of yours either way?!"

"No, you cannot talk to him! Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

I was out of my chair and across the room before she could register it, and I steadied her as she jumped slightly. Holding my hand out for the phone, she looked at me like I had grown another head.

"Whaaa?"

"He wants to talk to me, let him talk to me," I replied calmly.

_I would love to hear what this fucker has to say._

She rolled her eyes, holding the phone away from her ear, where I could hear Black screaming incoherently through it.

"Edward, you don't need to do that. I should just hang up on him, he's being unreasonable. I was trying to be nice, but-"

"Give me the phone, Bella."

She started to shake her head no, so I bartered. "Speaker, then."

Hesitantly, she nodded, hitting the button on her phone.

"Jacob Black? This is Edward Cullen."

"_What the fuck's your game, Cullen?"_

"I'm not sure I understand your question, _Black_," I hissed.

"_I want to know what the fuck you're doing with Bella. You've got her locked up there in your little cage dressed up as a fucking mansion, and nobody even bothered to tell her I was the one that found her in those fucking woods?! You and your fucking rich-ass family just swoop right in and save the day, and nobody even gave her a choice or let her know I was coming by to see her. Every day I went to that hospital, Cullen. Every fucking day!"_

I furrowed my brow, as this was news to me. I shook my head at Bella's questioning look and she frowned, mouthing 'Charlie.' I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smirk, but she saw it anyway and rolled her eyes, fighting her own smile.

"Black, I was unaware of your visits to the hospital. I would appreciate you not insulting my family, who has come to love Bella as one of their own. I don't know what your problem is, as her own parents were just fine with leaving her here under our care. If you have something to say, say it. Otherwise, I'm hanging up, and I'll thank you not to call again."

"_I'll call Bella whenever I fucking want to. You want me to talk, fine. I don't know if you're just trying to have a good time with an easy girl you can take advantage of, or if you're just playing charity with her 'cause you feel like an asshole for letting that psychopath take her in the first place-"_

Bella's face went completely white; her hand holding the phone began to shake. Without another word, I ripped it from her hand and hung up on him, turning the power off as I pulled her gently over to the couch and into my lap.

"Bella," I murmured softly. "Talk to me."

She was silent for a few moments, but I tried not to push.

"I feel really sorry for his girlfriend, even if she is a whore," she spoke tonelessly, staring off through the far window.

Unable to help myself, I burst into laughter. "Christ, Bella. You never say what I expect."

She smiled slightly, but didn't laugh. Sobering, I turned her face to look at me.

"Tell me you know what he said isn't true."

Her eyes searched mine, and she looked so sad. "Edward, I know you'd never take advantage of me."

I shook my head back at her. "Tell me you know you're not a charity case. You're here because we want you here, because we can't live without you. You complete this family, Bella. I think most of them like you more than me already."

"So I'm not here because you feel like you owe me something?" Her voice was so timid and unsure.

I inhaled sharply, wanting to lie.

_No, not about this. She deserves the truth._

"Bella, I owe you my daughter's life, but that's not why you're here. We want to help you get better because we care about you. You saved Lily's life, but that's got nothing to do with why I care about you. Bella, in the short time I've known you, I've become closer to you than anyone else I've ever known. Please, don't let Jacob Black make you question your place in our family. I mean, honestly, do you trust his opinion on anything else?"

That finally got her to laugh, albeit through her sniffles.

"No, I can't say that I do. I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know why I let him get to me like that. I should have hung up ages ago, but he just wouldn't shut up! I was trying to make it crystal clear that I appreciated his help, but I didn't want to talk to him or see him, and I didn't want him sending me any more flowers. Or anything. I don't want him in my life. At. All. Does that make me petty to not let it go?"

"No! I mean, I don't think so. Do you…" I swallowed hard, preparing myself for the worst. "Do you still have feelings for him? Is that why you can't be around him?"

"What?!" she screeched. "Ew! God, no! I just can't find it in me to forgive him for turning on me like he did. The boy had to practically beg me to date him, and when he changed his mind about us being together, _trust me,_ all he had to do was say the word. He could have gone after Vanessa with all my best wishes.

"But finding him like that with her, it was gutting, you know? He was supposed to be my best friend, and he just threw it all away for a piece of ass. And he's so confusing. I _know_ he's still with her, so what does he want with me? I've heard everything from him, from 'it was an accident,' to 'it'll never happen again,' then the last time I talked to him, he tried to convince me it was really _my _fault, because he knew I didn't love him the way he loved me…Are you okay, Edward? You look a little tense."

_Tense? Me? No, Bella, I'm fine. Just imagining you and the Incredible Tan Hulk together, and then him making you cry…_

"I want to kick his ass."

She laughed lightly, patting my hand. "Charlie already took care of that for you, and if anybody should get a turn, it should be me…You know, it seems like we sit like this a lot."

Searching her face seriously, I asked, "Does it bother you?"

Smiling and biting her lip shyly, she shook her head once.

Leaning back and pulling her with me, I replied happily, "Good. Me either."

With her head resting against my chest, I let myself relax, her presence soothing me before Lily and I had to leave.

"He made me so mad when he said that about you."

Confused, I asked, "Said what?"

"About you _letting_ James take me. I can't believe him! I don't know what happened to him, he never used to be so mean."

Closing my eyes in pain, I admitted to her honestly, "He didn't say anything I didn't already know."

She flew back at once, gaping at me in horror.

"Edward! What are you talking about? You can't possibly think it's your fault…"

"Calm down, love. I do, and there's nothing you can say that Siobhan didn't already earlier today. I'm going to work on it, but it's just how I feel. I feel like I should have tried to stop him."

Her face flushed red in anger. "Unless you were wearing a bullet-proof vest I didn't know about, I don't see how you could have stopped him, Edward Cullen. If you want to blame someone, blame _me_."

"Now wait just a minute," I huffed, getting angry myself. I slid her off of my lap so I could face her on the couch. "What the hell are you talking about? We've been over this already. You didn't have a choice. You _know_ I don't blame you."

"Well, that's rich," she scoffed bitterly. "How am I supposed to believe you don't blame me _at all_ if you feel somehow responsible?"

"Back at you!" I argued, my voice rising in irritation. "You mean _you_ don't blame _me _at all? Because it works both ways, Bella. So I guess either we're both at fault, or neither one of us is, but I know for a goddamned _fact_ that I don't blame you, so don't accuse me of that shit."

She narrowed her eyes at me menacingly, and for a second I thought she might slap me. After a moment, she crossed her arms angrily and huffed, slamming her head into my shoulder. Tentatively, I wrapped my arm around her, trying not to laugh.

_She's really fucking cute when she's mad._

"Did you just head-butt me?" I stage-whispered into her hair.

"No," she muttered petulantly, but I could feel her smile in my shirt.

"Mm-hmm," I hummed noncommittally. "So are we agreed to disagree here, or are you going to admit that I'm right? Like always."

She snorted into my shirt, looking up at me with doe eyes.

"We'll work on it with Siobhan?" she questioned softly.

Gazing at her seriously, I nodded. "We will."

_I think we just had our first fight._

Sitting there in comfortable silence, I felt a calm wash over me, and I felt more right than I ever had before.

_Now would be the perfect time…_

_Daughter. Therapist. Statement. Now?_

_Damnit!_

"I have to go," I mumbled. "We're doing the statement at Siobhan's instead of home. I think it would be better, and Siobhan agreed that we should keep home a safe place."

She bit her lip anxiously, and I pulled it out gently with my thumb, running my finger across it softly.

_Always smells like cherries._

_I've never wanted to kiss someone so bad in my entire life._

_I can't take. I can't presume. We have to talk first._

"I wish you didn't have to go," she smiled wistfully.

"Trust me, I'd much rather spend the day here. This is not my idea of a good time," I muttered bitterly, sitting up slowly.

"Will she be okay?" she asked timidly.

Turning towards her, I saw tears in her eyes, and I knew she was remembering her own statement. If I could believe it would really help ease her nerves to come with us, I would let her in a heartbeat, but I could feel it in my soul that it would only make things worse. I was fairly sure there were things that Lily had witnessed that Bella wasn't aware of, and I didn't want to hinder her progress by adding onto her unnecessary guilt.

"I discussed it thoroughly with Marcus and Siobhan. She won't be going through everything today. I won't let her. _Somebody_ knows how to listen when she's being pushed too hard," I smirked, elbowing her playfully.

She scowled, but then smiled, pushing me off the couch. "Fine. Go. Is Emmett still here?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "He's keeping my mom company. I'll let him know it's safe to reenter."

She furrowed her brow, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Grinning and backing out of her reach, I admitted, "He _might_ have been attempting to eavesdrop on your phone call with the dog and been busted by Mom. We had a little strategy worked up so I could find out what was going on…"

Her jaw dropped, but I could see the smile she was fighting.

"Edward Cullen! Don't think I've forgotten you lot tried to keep me in the dark!" she called out after me as I ran to go find Emmett. He was sitting with our mom in her bedroom, his eyes glazed as she flipped through old photo albums, reminiscing.

"Oh thank God," he muttered as he saw me enter the room. "Sorry Mom, gotta run. I promised Bella I'd teach her to play some video games."

"Nothing violent, Emmett Cullen," she ordered.

"Yes, Mother," he rolled his eyes, catching up with me as I went in search of Lily and Jasper. "Hey man. So what's the deal?"

"We've got nothing to worry about on _her _end, but I don't know if he's gotten the hint yet. We'll have to keep our eye on him. You should've heard him, man. The guy has serious anger issues."

He nodded seriously, hanging back once I reached the stairs. "So where is she now?"

Jerking my chin back towards the living room, I told him, "Still there. I've got to collect Lily and Jazz to go work on her statement. We'll be back later, 'kay?"

Sighing heavily, he nodded. "Good luck."

"Yeah," I muttered, climbing the stairs quickly. I pushed open her door and started cracking up as I took in Jasper's appearance. Lily had him adorned with play jewelry and was hard at work painting pink polka dots onto his bright blue fingernails.

"Oh, Jazzy!" I cried. "You look _fabulous!_"

He lifted his hand behind Lily's head and flicked me off, rolling his eyes. Tapping my watch, he nodded.

"Hey, Lilybug. It's time to go talk to the nice lady that Bella and Daddy talk to. We're only going to go for a little while, and when we come back, Daddy will let you paint…Uncle Emmett's fingernails."

Not even pausing in her nail painting, she replied, "No thanks, Daddy. I'll stay here. You can go."

Jasper reached over and took the paint from her hands gently, setting it down on the shelf by his head. "Lily, you have to go _with_ Daddy. You want me to come too?"

Shaking her head stubbornly, she stood, scowling. "No. I want Bella."

Squatting down to eye level with her, I took her hands in mine. "Honey, Bella can't come. I'm going to come with you, and if you want, Uncle Jazz'll come too."

Looking down at the ground, she pulled her hands back. "Fine," she mumbled. "But I don't want to wear shoes."

I snorted, but relented.

_Whatever it takes to get her out the door without a tantrum._

"Alright, Lilybug. No shoes. But that means you're going to have to let me carry you."

She lifted her arms silently and I scooped her up, padding downstairs with her to take her to the car as Jasper pulled off his earrings and many, many necklaces.

*

Feeling extraordinarily nervous as we pulled into Siobhan's parking lot, I recognized Marcus's cruiser sitting just outside the door. As we got out, I saw him exit his own car.

"Here goes nothing," I thought aloud, before retrieving Lily from the backseat.

We walked inside, and Lily kept her face buried in my shoulder, not making eye contact with anyone else. Siobhan was waiting for us in her reception area, and smiled gently at me before walking back towards her children's room. She, Marcus, and Jasper, conferred quietly off to the side, and I faintly made out what they were discussing.

"_Cameras are already recording."_

"_First sign of distress and it ends."_

"_I'll be handling the questioning…"_

"_We're not starting until Edward's had the chance to examine the questions."_

Jasper made his way back over to me, with a legal pad in hand. "Do you want to…" he trailed off, waving it in front of me.

I shook my head. "You look at it. Change anything you need to. She won't let me put her down." As I spoke, her arms tightened around my neck. Siobhan approached cautiously, holding a coloring book and a box of crayons.

"Edward? Would you like to color with me while we wait to start talking?" She motioned to a bean bag on the floor and I slowly settled into it, Lily still tucked closely to my chest. Slowly, as I began to scribble on the page, she brought her head out, lighting up a bit as she saw the coloring book.

"Can I color too, Daddy?" she whispered into my neck.

Silently, Siobhan slid another book across the table with another box of crayons.

"Can you tell Siobhan 'thank you,' Lily?" I squeezed her softly as I turned her around in my lap to remind her I was still there.

"Thank you," she whispered, still not making eye contact.

"You're welcome, Lily. So, Edward, it was very nice to get to talk to you earlier today."

I smiled, trying to follow her lead. "Yes, thank you. Talking to you made me feel a lot better."

She beamed in return, nodding in encouragement. "I'm very glad to hear that. Sometimes it helps a lot to talk about things that are bothering us, even when it's hard."

"That's what Bella says," Lily's soft voice chimed in, not looking up from her coloring.

"Bella is _very_ smart," Siobhan agreed. As Lily continued to color, Jasper approached slowly as Marcus hung back, sitting in the corner of the room. Lily didn't notice him as he sat down around the little table, letting her color in peace.

"Hi, Jasper. Would you like to color with us?"

"I would love to, Siobhan. Thank you."

We colored in silence for a while, until Siobhan started cautiously. "Lily?"

"Yeah?" she answered, still keeping her eyes on the page in front of her.

"I was hoping I could ask you some questions. If you'd like to keep coloring you can."

Finally making eye contact, if only for a brief second, Lily nodded.

"I was wondering if you could tell me what happened that day in the grocery store," Siobhan watched her carefully, and Lily's coloring only faltered for a second.

"Me and Daddy were gonna make p'sghettis. But then he took us."

"Where did he take you?" Siobhan asked softly.

"To that house in the woods. I do _not _like woods."

"Mm-hmm," Siobhan hummed, pausing her questioning for a moment to keep coloring her own picture. After a brief silence, she began speaking again.

"What did the house look like?"

"Like a house," Lily snapped. "It smelled bad, and it had old toys, and no TV, and no music. And it was always locked. I _hate _locks."

"I'm thirsty," Siobhan announced suddenly. "Lily, Edward, Jasper, would you like a juice box?"

I nodded, as did Lily, grateful for the break.

_Can we be done yet?_

She returned shortly with a few juice boxes in hand, and some dolls, which she set down underneath the table.

"Here you are, Lily. If you get hungry let me know, I've got some snacks, too," she smiled kindly at Lily, and she nodded back. Siobhan waited patiently for Lily to drink her juice and resume her coloring before she began talking again.

"Where did you sleep in that house in the woods, Lily?"

Lily answered more pleasantly this time, smiling slightly. "With Bella in our room. She took naps with me and slept with me every night."

"Where did the man that took you sleep?"

"In his room, I guess. We were always locked up," she muttered darkly.

Siobhan produced a glue stick and some glitter, setting them on the table in front of us. Without a word, she simply began decorating her own picture, letting Lily play along at her own pace. Siobhan was truly excellent at reading Lily's emotions, backing off when she seemed to become agitated, never letting her get overwhelmed.

"Did you eat in your room, too?"

I felt Lily tense slightly in my lap, and I wrapped an arm around her middle to hold her close, trying to help her feel secure. I was ready to bolt at a second's notice. A wave of inspiration hit me, and I held up a finger to halt Siobhan for a moment.

Leaning down to her ear, I whispered, "Lily, if you want to stop, all you have to do is blink, okay? We'll have to come back another day, but we don't have to do it all today."

Her little head bobbed up and down before she met Siobhan's eyes. "We ate with Bad Da-" her eyes cut to me, and I tried not to react, but she must have seen something. "with…"

Leaning forward, Siobhan smiled gently at Lily. "You can call him by his name, or you can just say 'the man'. I'll know who you're talking about."

"We ate with the man. But…but he wouldn't let Bella eat. Sometimes, but not a lot. It made me feel bad, because I always gots to. And we snuck all that food, but we didn't even need it. I wish she woulda just eaten it. Instead she got sick."

"But she's getting better now," Siobhan reassured her. "What did you and Bella do together all day?"

I expected her to react happily to discussing Bella, but she scowled, resuming her coloring, scribbling angrily on her page. "We had to read and it was so _boring_. And she always got sleepy. She always got bunches of marbles. And she wouldn't let me have any. Whenever I was bad so I could get one, she would lie and say she did it. He was always mean to her, but she wouldn't let him yell at me. I could have helped. I could have let him yell at me instead. I'm a big girl."

I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder, and realized I was shaking. I tried to get a hold of myself quickly. This wasn't about me, this was about Lily, and I needed to be there for her right now.

Eyeing Lily carefully, Siobhan appeared to choose her next words very cautiously. "So he never hurt you? Or yelled at you?"

Lily continued coloring furiously on her page, and Siobhan exchanged a glance with Jasper, then nodded.

"Here, Lily," she offered, holding out the three dolls she had tucked under the table. "If I wanted to play pretend, and _this_ doll was the man, and _this _doll was Bella-"

"Mommy. If you're pretending she's the mommy. You have to play pretend. All day," Lily's zombie-like tone struck me like lightning, and my hand flew up to my mouth to muffle my cry. Siobhan dropped the dolls immediately, turning slightly to Marcus and making a cutting motion.

"Edward," she began. "I think it would be good for you, Lily, and Jasper to go have some lunch. I just realized how late it was getting, and I'm getting _very_ hungry. I don't know if you like pizza, but there's a really yummy place two streets over."

The thought of food made my stomach roll, but I realized what she was trying to do. "Sure," I choked out, barely. "Are…are we coming back?" I looked to Jasper, and he mouthed, 'We'll see.'

Squeezing Lily, I flinched when she jumped, obviously not listening to the conversation around her. "Hey, Lily. Do you want to go eat some pizza?" I tried to go for cheerful, but I was fairly confident I sounded like a dying animal.

Raising her head, she almost seemed surprised by her surroundings, and she nodded slowly, coming back to reality. "I like pizza," she replied simply, rising from my lap so I could stand. As soon as I was on my feet, I picked her up, cradling her tightly to me, but she didn't respond as much as I had hoped.

As I turned to leave, Siobhan nodded to me solemnly, holding her hand to her ear in the phone sign, mouthing 'call me.' I nodded, stalking out as quickly as my legs would carry us, Jasper on my heels.

*

I marveled at my daughter's ability to bounce from one emotion to the next, as she ate her pizza happily, seeming as if all memories from her time away and recounting her statement were forgotten. Jasper and I had no appetite, and we spent almost an hour letting Lily munch away and sip on fruit punch. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and I dug it out, confused as to who could be calling me. Everyone knew what I was doing.

-_Do you want to try again or call it a day?-Jazz_

Sighing, I glanced over at Lily as she played with the sugar packets. I was torn between wanting to leave now and telling everyone to fuck off, or to go back and get this finished so we never had to do it again. After a moment, I latched eyes with Jasper, and nodded reluctantly.

_Here we go again._

*

Getting comfortable again in Siobhan's office, we all waited silently as Lily perused the shelves, deciding on a set of blocks to amuse herself with. This time around, I sat with Siobhan so I could watch Lily's facial expressions, and catch her blink if necessary. They worked together for a while, building and rebuilding castles and slides, until Lily seemed perfectly at ease.

"Lily," Siobhan soothed.

"Yeah," Lily chirped, still engrossed in her construction.

"Would it be okay if I played with my dolls again? It's a different kind of pretend, but we don't have to if you don't want to."

Lily pursed her lips in thought for a moment, before nodding slowly, not taking her eyes of her blocks. Siobhan brought the dolls back out, and Lily admired them briefly before resuming her castle.

"_This_," Siobhan held up the first doll, "Is my Bella doll. And _this_ is my Lily doll. _This_-" she was cut off when Lily's hand reached out and smacked the male doll from Siobhan's hands.

"I don't want to play with that one. I _hate_ that one," Lily hissed.

"That's okay," Siobhan reassured her. "We won't worry about that right now then. Would you like my Lily doll?" she asked, holding out the doll to her.

Lily snatched it, running her fingers through the dolls hair. "It doesn't really look like me."

Siobhan smiled. "No, she's just a doll named Lily. It's just a pretend game I like to play sometimes. I was hoping you could show me if your Lily doll ever got any owies."

Lily shook her head slowly, then tentatively brought her hand out to pick up the Bella doll off the floor. Without a word, she got up and walked back to the table where the colors lay. We all watched her silently as she picked up a handful of markers and came back to her seat in front of Siobhan.

"What are you doing, Lily?" asked Siobhan cautiously.

"I'm showing you the owies. Bella never let me see, but I looked sometimes at night when she was sleeping. She has lots of bad dreams and she feels better if I hug her and kiss her when she's sleeping. And I looked sometimes to make sure she was okay. When he was being mean to her I couldn't hear anything unless he started screaming at her really bad, and then I would try to scream so he would come check on me."

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…_

"You're saying that you screamed sometimes so he would stop _being mean_ to Bella, and you would look at her when she was sleeping?" Siobhan asked softly, careful to keep her tone neutral.

_Bella would be flipping out right now._

Lily didn't answer, but lifted the Bella doll's shirt and began coloring large purple spots all across her stomach, chest, and back. I was really glad I hadn't eaten anything when we went to lunch, because it definitely would have been making a reappearance. Horrified, I watched her pick up a red marker and start coloring across Bella's face and chest.

Slowly, Siobhan reached her hand out to stop Lily's coloring, prying the doll gently from Lily's hands.

"I think that's enough playing pretend for today, Lily. I just got a new puzzle the other day that I've been wanting to put together. Would you like to help me do that?"

For a few moments, Lily stared at her hands in silence, before tossing the markers down.

"What kind of puzzle?" asked Lily.

"It's from the new Princess movie that just came out. Would you like to do it with me?" Siobhan stood, and walked over to a shelf to fetch the puzzle.

"The one with the frog?!" Lily bounced up excitedly. "I forgot about that one! I want to see it so bad. Daddy, can we go see it today?"

I swallowed heavily, nervous at the thought of taking her anywhere but home. Logically, I knew that there was no real danger. Between me and Jasper, she wouldn't be out of our sight for a second. Emotionally though, the idea made my palms sweat. I could feel Siobhan watching me closely, and I locked eyes with her, pleading silently for help.

"Lily, why don't you go get started on that puzzle while your Daddy checks for tickets," Siobhan urged, leading her by the shoulders over to a shelf of puzzles. Lily wasted no time pulling the appropriate box down and dumping the pieces everywhere, turning them over methodically as she began assembling it. Siobhan came swiftly back over to me, smiling compassionately.

"Edward, we talked about baby steps. If you really feel comfortable, then I say go for it. This time of day, the theater shouldn't be crowded. But if you think this will set you back and cause panic, then I don't think you should try. I don't usually condone lying, but it would be very simple to tell her that it's sold out today and you'll go another time. Perhaps it could be a family outing for everyone. You might find it easier to feel safety in numbers."

I felt ashamed, but I could literally envision myself freezing up, unable to walk into the dark theater with Lily in tow. All I wanted was to go back home. Home was safe. I hated the idea of lying to her, though.

"Lily?" I called out.

She didn't look up from her puzzle, hard at work. "Yeah, Daddy?"

"Could we wait and see the movie another day? I was thinking maybe we could go with the whole family, maybe bring Bella, too. What do you think, Lilybug?"

She pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at me. "But you promise we'll go? I want Bella to come."

"I promise."

"Okay," she shrugged her shoulders, resuming her puzzle.

As I turned back to Siobhan, Marcus approached. "I want to thank you for coming down here today, Edward. We've gotten almost everything we need from her."

Exasperated, I ran my hair through my hands angrily. "What else could you possibly need from her? Are you _trying _to get her to crack completely? I get that she's a kid, she's resilient as fuck, but goddamnit, Marcus. Enough, already!"

He looked at me apologetically, raising his hands in supplication. "I'm sorry, Edward. There's not much, but what's left is really important. There are three days unaccounted for while Bella was unconscious, and the escape. Lily was with Bella for quite a while after she lost consciousness. After that, she's all done."

Siobhan interrupted then. "Marcus, I understand what you're needing, but I have to insist we wait at least a week before trying again. I'm fairly confident that we could get everything else taken care of next time, but you _cannot_ push her beyond her limits. Her mental health is more important than a rush for justice."

Rubbing his hands over his face, he sighed. "Of course. You're right, Doctor. I apologize for seeming overeager, Edward. When you feel she's ready for the next session, give me a call and I'll meet you here."

Reluctantly, I nodded, shook his hand, and then crossed over to Lily. Taking a seat beside her, I wordlessly began helping her put the puzzle together, noting how quiet she was being.

_Just like when she first got back._

After it was finished, she just sat there, gazing down at it, but not really seeming to see it.

"Lily?" I whispered.

Her head jerked up, and her bright green eyes looked so old, so haunted.

"Are you ready to go home? We can go see Bella now," I cooed.

She nodded, still silent, standing and raising her arms up to me. I nodded to Siobhan and Marcus, and left the room swiftly, letting Jasper make the goodbyes. By the time I had her buckled into her booster, he was done and entered the car right next to me.

"Do you need me to drive, Edward?" he asked quietly.

I didn't bother to answer, just started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, grinding my teeth the entire painfully silent car ride home.

*

I probably glanced in my rearview mirror at Lily every five seconds on the drive home, and I noticed how her eyes seemed to come back to life as we neared the house.

"I'm so excited to tell Bella what a good job you did today, Lilybug," I praised cautiously.

"Do I really have to do it again, Daddy?" her sad voice returned.

_Of course she heard that._

"You do, but not until you're ready, okay, Lily?" Jasper answered.

"Did I really do a good job?" she asked timidly.

"Oh yes!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. "We can do whatever you like for the rest of the day. We can go watch movies, or play with toys, whatever you want."

"I wanna go see Bella. I wanna see if she's in a better mood now."

"You got it," I agreed as I stepped out the car and retrieved her from the backseat. We made our way inside the house, and followed the voices into the kitchen. Emmett was laughing uproariously with my dad while Bella sat at the table next to him, arms crossed and scowling amusedly.

"What's going on, guys?" I asked, hoping everyone would just act normally and not ask any questions about the statement.

Bella's head jerked towards the sound of my voice immediately, but she didn't even notice me as she ran her eyes all over Lily. She frowned for a split second before she masked it, grinning widely and greeting her in a cheerful voice.

"Hi Lily! I'm so glad you're back! Maybe _you_ can play video games with me. Your Uncle Emmie just keeps beating me."

He guffawed loudly, pointing his finger at her tauntingly. "Aw, don't be mad, B. You're just mad because I finally found something you're no good at." He stuck his tongue out at her like a child, and Bella was about to open her mouth to retort back, when Lily's voice rang out in an eerie tone.

"Bella _is _good."

Bella's eyes shot to her immediately, but Emmett didn't catch it.

"I mean, she can pull a story out of thin air, but give her a steering wheel and MarioKart, and she's even worse than Eddie."

"She _is_ good!" Lily screamed, wrenching herself out of my arms, and flying at Emmett.

"She is good! She's not bad! And she's not ugly! And she's not fat! You're wrong! You're wrong! I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed, over and over, beating him with her little fists, while Emmett sat there, completely shocked. To his credit, he didn't try to stop her for fear of hurting her by grabbing too roughly, and I was too stupefied to do anything but stare through my tears that were streaming freely down my face. My mother had run into the kitchen at the sound of the commotion, but was frozen next to my father, who seemed to be at a loss.

Bella was the only one with enough sense to take action, and before any of us could stop her, she had pushed her self up from the chair, not even bothering with her crutches. She made her way around Emmett, pulling Lily off of him by her shoulders, and they both fell back onto the kitchen floor as Lily continued to thrash and scream and cry. I finally snapped out of it, crossing the kitchen in three strides, unsure of what to do next.

I decided my best bet was to sit behind Bella to brace her as she held Lily. Lily was still crying and kicking her legs, but her upper body was up against Bella's as Bella kept a tight grip on her shoulders. I could see her fighting back a wince when Lily's kicks would push her body into Bella's ribs, but she never let go. She was whispering something in her ear, but I couldn't make it out until my arms wrapped around her, my hands on top of hers and Lily's shoulders.

"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away…your turn, Lily."

When Lily didn't respond, she continued.

"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away…your turn, Lily.

"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away…your turn, Lily.

"I can't finish the story without you, sweetie. Please help me," her voice cracked.

"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away…your turn, Lily."

"There was two p-p-princesses," Lily sniffled, and as soon as Bella heard her voice, she whipped her around, cradling her face.

"There were two princesses named…your turn, Lily."

Lily's breath caught in her sobs, but she choked out, "Princess Lily and Princess Bella."

"One day, Princess Lily and Princess Bella went to the beach by the ocean…your turn, Lily."

"And we-and we-and we got seashells and seeded dolphins."

Bella nodded, wiping Lily's tears from her face and smoothing her hair back. "Only the dolphins were really mermaids, and they let us swim with them to the bottom of the ocean. And we found the prettiest pearl inside an oyster shell, and we brought it back to show our family, that we love. Your daddy had been waiting for you to swim back to him and he was at the beach waiting for us. And he was there with your Nanas and your Papaws and your Uncles and your Aunts. And they thought it was the prettiest pearl they had ever seen…What next, Lily?"

Lily's eyes drooped as her panic seemed to finally subside, her breaths still choppy. "And then we all went home. And we had a ice cream party and stayed up all night playing."

"The end," Bella said softly, pulling Lily closer to her body and rocking her gently. My hands stayed on top of hers as they wrapped around Lily, and I let Bella push her weight against me as we swayed on the floor.

"The end," Lily whispered, before drifting off.

I didn't know how long we sat there, Lily in Bella's lap, my legs straddling Bella as I sat behind her, holding them both in my arms. After a while, I became aware of Bella's body shaking, and at first I thought Lily was having another fit. I soon realized it was actually Bella trying to hold back her sobs when I felt her tears fall onto my hands.

Desperate to get us out of the kitchen before either of us completely broke down, I looked around the room frantically for help. My father was standing with a syringe in his hand, for Bella or Lily I wasn't sure. My mother had disappeared, probably sobbing somewhere herself. Jasper was clasping a thoroughly tortured-looking and distraught Emmett by the shoulders, where he was still frozen in his chair, weeping silently and unashamedly.

"Emmett," I called out, my voice hoarse and foreign to my own ears. "Help us up, please."

He came to us immediately, but hovered above, appearing terrified to touch Lily. I was wary to move from behind Bella in case she was too weak to support herself, but we needed to get up off the floor. Trying to keep her back stable with my hands as I stood, I waited for Emmett to take my place before picking up Lily. Or tried to. Bella had her in a death grip, and was shaking her head back and forth crying into her hair.

"Please don't take her. Please don't take her," her cracking voice whispered, over and over.

"Shh, Beautiful, shh. I just want to take her upstairs. We'll take her to your room. We'll all lie down together. But I can't carry you both. Let me take her, and Emmett will carry you. Please, love," I crooned, running my hands over her face and hair, trying to calm her. She opened her eyes, and they were completely bloodshot with the same haunted look I had seen in Lily's eyes earlier at Siobhan's. She nodded, loosening her hold on Lily until she was safely in my arms. She groaned and stirred slightly, but stayed asleep.

I turned to take Lily upstairs, but whirled back around as I heard Bella cry out. Emmett had tried to pick her up, and she was holding her ribs in pain. My dad snapped into action immediately, trying to evaluate her, tossing the syringe unceremoniously onto the counter behind her.

"Can you breathe, Bella? Where does it hurt?"

She shook her head fiercely, trying to fight back tears. "No, I'm fine. I just want to go upstairs. Please," she whimpered, barely able to speak as she clawed at her ribs on the right side.

"She needs to get into the hospital. We've got to do some x-rays on those ribs. Emmett, take her to my car, please," my dad ordered.

"No! Please! I don't want to go back to the hospital," she gasped out.

Walking quickly back over to her with Lily still in my arms, I stopped right in front of her. "Bella," I whispered.

She sniffled, her eyes darting between my own and Lily.

"We'll still be here. Go with my dad, please. You need to be checked, to make sure you haven't re-broken anything. Lily was kicking pretty hard." She opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. "You can't be there for Lily if you're falling apart. Please, just go. It's only for as long as it takes them to do the films. Then you'll come back home, and we'll be waiting for you. I-"

_I love you._

_Motherfucker, that was close! Contain yourself, Cullen._

Her lip trembling, she nodded, looking to Emmett, giving him silent permission to take her. He gingerly picked her up and carried her out the back door, followed by my dad and Jasper. I carried Lily quickly upstairs, deciding on her bed instead of Bella's after all, and curled up beside her, determined to keep her safe from her dreams, as I cried myself to sleep beside her.

*

A couple of hours later, I was struggling to wake up from a dream, where I was running and running, sweating my ass off, but with no destination. Slowly, I came out of it, hearing voices from Lily's bathroom.

"Are you sure Daddy won't be mad, Nana?"

"Oh, yes, sweetie, I'm sure. Accidents happen."

_Aww, fuck. That's why I'm soaking wet._

Looking down, I saw the large wet spot right away on the sheets that had spread onto my shirt and jeans. This wasn't the first time she had wet the bed, but it had been a long time.

_Probably normal after a fit like that._

Getting up quickly, I grimaced as I pulled my wet shirt from my body. Padding over to the bathroom, I peeked inside to see Lily in the bathtub beside my mom.

"Hey, Lilybug. How do you feel?"

She looked up at me as if she expected to be scolded, so I knelt down beside the tub and hugged her hard, not caring how much wetter I got.

_I need a shower anyway._

"Are you okay, sweetie?" I asked again softly.

"Am I in trouble, Daddy?" her timid voice whispered in my ear.

Pulling back, I shook my head at her. "No, princess. You heard Nana. Accidents happen. We'll get your sheets changed, and it'll be a-ok."

She shook her head sharply back and forth. "No, I mean from in the kitchen. For being bad."

I sighed, sitting down on the floor beside her, my mom watching us from atop the commode. "Lily…you weren't _bad_ earlier. You…you were upset after you had to talk about what happened, and I think you were confused when we came home. Sometimes, when you have lots of different feelings inside, they kind of explode and find a way out somehow. Do you feel better now?"

She moved some of her bubbles around for a moment, before nodding. "Yeah. But I am kinda hungry."

Standing up again, I smiled down at her, ruffling her soapy hair. "Well, finish up your bath, and I'm going to go take a shower real quick. I'll meet you downstairs so we can get some dinner. 'Kay?"

She nodded happily, splashing in her bubbles again.

*

After I was showered and redressed, I pounded down the stairs, feeling hungry myself, having not eaten since Bella's breakfast. Thinking of that made me wonder if she was back from the hospital yet, but upon entering the kitchen and only seeing my mom and sisters, I realized they must still be gone. Lily was helping my mom put something together for dinner so I ambled over to Rose and Alice. Their eyes were a bit red, like they'd been crying earlier, so it was safe to assume they were filled in on what happened.

"Hey," I greeted quietly, so Lily couldn't hear me. "Have either of you talked to them?"

Rose met my eyes and nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yeah. They're stuck up at the hospital. There was some kind of major trauma, so the x-ray lab is backed up. Emmett's being totally stubborn about her getting some films done, so he won't let her come back, and I think she's letting him so he'll feel better. He feels so bad, Edward. He never meant to-"

I held up my hand to stop her. "No, Rose, don't. He didn't do anything wrong. Lily was a wreck after the statement. I don't think under normal circumstances what he said would have set her off like that. Trust me, she feels awful for losing it like she did. I'm not upset with him, and he shouldn't be upset with himself either. So how is Bella? Is she still in a lot of pain? I guess she's breathing alright if they're making her wait so long."

"Yeah, I spoke to her earlier," Alice interjected. "She called the house earlier to check on Lily and I answered. Lily was still sleeping with you at the time, but I guess I should call her back now to let her know she's awake and feeling better."

"I'll do it," I interrupted, standing up and pulling my phone out of my pocket. Ignoring the little knowing smirk that passed between the two women, I left the noise of the kitchen for the quiet of the living room. Calling her number right away, I was disappointed to get her voicemail. Frustrated, I hung up without leaving a message, quickly dialing my dad's phone, only to get his voicemail as well. Nearly growling, I dialed Emmett, and almost sighed in relief when he picked up.

"_Hey, Edward."_

I frowned, as his tone was nothing like my brother usually sounded. He was gruff, with no joy in his voice at all.

"Hey, Em. How are things going up there?"

"_Alright. They just took Bella back to the lab. Dad's with her. They're pretty backed up though, so I don't know how long it'll take to get the films back."_

"How are _you_ doing?"

He sighed heavily into the phone. _"I'm alright. Been better, I guess."_

"Emmett, you have to believe me, she never meant anything she said to you-"

"_Yeah, yeah, I know. Jasper's been talking my ear off since we got here. I still feel like shit, though. Just…just give me a little bit, okay, man?"_

I nodded, then rolled my eyes as I realized he couldn't see that. "Yeah, man. We'll see you when you get back."

He hesitated, but agreed. "_Alright. See you."_

He hung up before I could say anything more, and I groaned, stuffing my phone back in my pocket. I really felt bad for him, but I guessed he just needed some time to get over it. Hopefully Jasper could make him see it wasn't anything to do with him. Every word she had screamed had obviously been meant for _him._ She just never got the chance to say it before now.

*

Dinner was quiet and slow, all of us waiting to hear back from everyone at the hospital. By eight, I couldn't wait anymore, and Lily needed to go to bed, despite her protests.

"Dadd-ee," she whined. "I want to see Bella. Please, can I wait for her to come home? Why did she have to go back to the hospital anyway?"

I blew out a deep breath, trying to come up with a good lie. "Um…well…she just needed a checkup but the hospital was very busy today. I promise you'll see her tomorrow, and we can all spend the day together. But you can't wait up. You need to go get ready for bed. I'll change your sheets while you get changed, okay?"

She sighed, obviously annoyed with me. "_Fine_."

I rolled my eyes at her behind her back, ripping off her linens as she changed into pajamas in her closet. By the time fresh ones were on, she was through being irritated with me, and had her book ready to read.

After three times through, she appeared to be losing steam, so I closed it up and set it on her nightstand table.

"Alright, Lilybug. I love you. I'll see you in the morning."

"Daddy?" her little voice called out after I turned off the light.

"Yeah, princess?" I sighed, not wanting to be begged to read that book _again_. It had been a long fucking day, and a drink was sounding better and better by the minute.

"Will you lay with me for five minutes?" she asked, her voice quivering.

Rushing over to her bedside, feeling like the world's worst dad for getting annoyed with her, I climbed in without another word.

"I'll stay 'til you fall asleep, okay, sweetie?"

"Thanks, Daddy," she mumbled into Snuffles.

*

I ended up drifting off myself, and when I woke a couple of hours later, the house was silent, everyone in bed. A quick glance outside showed my dad's car in the driveway, and I was disappointed knowing I had missed Bella's homecoming. The clock in the kitchen read 10:26, so I figured I had enough time to down a beer before playing her lullaby. If there was ever to be a night she'd have a nightmare, I imagined it would be this one, after the day we had.

As I sipped on my Shiner, it began to rain pretty heavily outside. I kicked back the last quarter of my beer before tossing it into the recycling bin and padding over to the music room, leaving the door open so Bella could hear the music over the rain.

The light coming in from the flashes of lightning and the moon were enough to illuminate the keys, the rain pelting against the windows. I started off with a little Debussy, slowly losing myself in the music. It helped to calm me down, too, letting me escape in the notes as they floated around the room. I was only a few bars into Bella's lullaby when I heard a shocked gasp come from the doorway. Startled, I looked up quickly, blinking rapidly to try and discern if what I was seeing was real or another one of my all too realistic dreams.

"Bella? How? How are you-" I whispered, unsure if I'd get a response.

"I fell asleep in the library…I…that…that song…I know that song…You…it was you?" she stuttered, gaping at me disbelievingly, her hand clutching her chest.

Embarrassed, my hands flew off the keys like they were on fire, and I struggled to come up with a good explanation.

"Don't…don't stop, please," she whispered, coming closer, leaning heavily on her crutch.

The way the light shone through the windows around her created an ethereal halo around her, making my breath catch in my throat. My eyes drank in the shadows of the raindrops dancing across her pale, flawless face that was framed by her dark mane of hair. Slowly, I picked up my hands, starting the lullaby over again.

"Sit with me," I spoke softly, not breaking eye contact with her.

She set her crutch against the bookshelf of sheet music behind me and gingerly sat down on the bench beside me, watching my fingers with a mixture of awe and confusion.

We sat together quietly, as I was nervous to speak first. I knew she must have questions, but I didn't know if she'd be angry with me or not.

"This song…I've heard it every night. It was you? Playing down here? Did you know it kept away my nightmares?" she asked, no accusation in her voice, which I took as a good sign.

"Yes," I replied simply, waiting for her anger at keeping it from her.

She didn't respond, just continued to watch my fingers glide over the keys as I reached the climax of her song.

"Thank you. I…I can't believe you'd do that for me."

_I'd do anything for you, Bella._

"It's really beautiful. What is it?"

_Well, fuck, Cullen. Time to lay your cards down._

I swallowed thickly, bracing myself.

"It's yours. That is, I wrote it for you."

Her head jerked my direction in shock immediately, but I forced myself to keep from looking away.

"What? That can't be…"

I shook my head at her, steeling myself. "It is. I wrote it while you were gone. I started learning all about you from Charlie and Renee. I even spent a day reading your books. I…"

My hands began to shake on the keys, and she placed hers above mine, stilling them and questioning me with her gaze.

"I always felt an attraction to you, Bella. Ever since that day when you fell over all those fucking apples, you've struck me in a way that no one else ever has before. I started writing it one afternoon when it just started to hit me all the ways you were so wonderful, and how worried I was about you, and not just Lily. After hearing how you'd taken care of everyone else your whole life, all I wanted was the chance to be the one to take care of _you._

"And I know you have doubts and guilt that you shouldn't, but…_fuck_. You have to believe me when I tell you this is all genuine. The way I feel about you, it has nothing to do with anything other than how absolutely fucking amazing I think you are. You're beautiful, and smart, and talented, and creative, and you're so much more than anything I could ever deserve, but I'm fucking selfish, and I want you."

She hadn't looked away, but she was just staring back at me, breathing hard, and I couldn't read her face. I couldn't tell if what I said was scaring her, but I had been hoping for _some_ kind of response other than total silence. Flustered, I rushed to accept the rejection.

"Look, I know you're probably not ready, but…fuck, I mean, you could be ready, but just not feel the same. You need to know that it won't change anything, either way. You'll always be in Lily's life. I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold it back anymore. I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable around us now. _Fuck!_ Please don't let this affect your relationship with Lily, she'd be cru-"

She started shaking her head, as if to clear it out of a daze.

"Edward!"

"Yes, Bella."

She smiled softly at me, biting her lip, and I couldn't help but grin back at her.

"Please shut up."

Nodding once, I closed my eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, Bella."

After a beat, I opened them to find her still smiling at me, and it killed me to not know what she was thinking.

_When in doubt, apologize._

"I really am so-"

"Ugh!" she rolled her eyes and groaned, shutting me up once and for all when she grabbed my face and crushed her lips to mine.

Briefly.

_Too fucking briefly._

She started to pull away, but I snapped the fuck out of my shock to tangle my hands into her hair and bring her face back to mine. Our lips moved in sync together, pulling and pushing at each other in the sweetest of caresses.

_She even tastes like cherries._

I was perfectly content to keep the kiss chaste, until my thumb grazed the back of her neck behind her ear. The little gasp and moan she released into my mouth completely broke my gentlemanly resolve, and I plunged my tongue inside her mouth without a thought. She responded by stroking mine with her own and sliding her hands into my hair, gripping it tightly in her little fingers.

If that spot behind her ear was her thing, then hair-pulling was definitely mine. Before I could contemplate what I was doing, my hands were at her hips, and I picked her up, swinging her around to sit on the keys, letting the discordant notes play with the echo of the rain on the windowpanes. Standing between her legs, I braced her with my body, trying to keep from rubbing my hard-on against her like the sex-deprived relationship-fucktard I was. I never relinquished the kiss, keeping my lips molded to hers. My hands were still on her hips, and I moved them down around her thighs, then softly up to beneath her ribs. I kept my wits about me to not go any further; one, because she was still healing after reinjuring them earlier today, and two, I didn't want her to slap me or ruin this fucking beautiful moment by overstepping.

When it became necessary to break for breath, I was unwilling to stop kissing her completely. I moved my hands up to her face, cradling it gently, pulling her to my lips again and again, taking in small gasps of air between kisses. I never wanted this moment to end. Her hands slipped from my hair, one onto my cheek, the other onto my chest, pulling me towards her as well. I smiled against her lips as I realized she didn't want to let me go, either.

"What's so funny?" she whispered against my lips before brushing them with her own again.

I whispered back against hers between pecks. "I'm just really fucking happy right now."

I felt her smile against my lips before she pulled back and opened her eyes, gazing at me with what I hoped was the same all-consuming love I felt for her.

"I'm really fucking happy right now, too."

Smoothing her hair away from her face, I kissed her forehead tenderly before wrapping my arms around her shoulders and hugging her tightly. I felt her arms come up around my back, and we stood there for minutes, maybe hours, just enjoying the contact this new closeness brought. Ever so slowly, I pulled back gently, running my fingertips from her cheek, down her neck and onto her collarbone, loving the shiver and moan it earned me.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?" she hummed, eyes closed as I repeated the circuit, her fists tightening in the back of my shirt.

"I want you to know that _you_ control this. How slow, how fast, it's all up to you. I meant what I said about it having no effect on your relationship with Lily. If you're not happy, or if you…" I gulped, but forced the words out anyway. "If you meet someone else…"

Her eyes shot open in alarm, and she silenced me with a kiss, forceful and controlling, that left me gasping for air.

"Edward," she panted. "I have _no_ idea how to be in a normal relationship, and I know you don't either, but I'm willing for us to find out _together_ if you are. But it can't be all about me, Edward. It just can't. I don't want to do this if you're going to view me as the victim. If we do this, I want us to be equals. I appreciate you wanting to give me time to heal, but you're hurting, too. We _both_ need to take it slow. I don't want to rush this, because…

"Because for _me_, there _is_ no one else but you." She looked down as she mumbled the last, blushing and biting her lip again. It took me a full second to digest what she was telling me _exactly_, and when I nudged her chin up to meet my eyes, I saw it.

_Oh my God, I think she loves me too._

Her eyes lit up and she nodded before I realized I'd spoken out loud. A broken sob escaped my throat, and I couldn't hold myself back. I kissed her hungrily, desperately, holding her as tightly as possible without crushing her.

_This is like every fantasy come to life, except infinitely better. _

_Oh God, no, no._

Wrenching myself back painfully, I held her face in my hands.

"Tell me this isn't a dream. Please. Something. Anything, so I know it's real," I gasped, blinking my eyes painfully hard to assure myself I wasn't imagining it all. It would kill me for this to be another dream. My heart wouldn't survive it.

Her eyes danced between my own and my lips as she struggled to control her breathing. With no tremor in her voice, no waver in her stare, she told me simply, perfectly.

"I love you, Edward."

My eyes clenched shut, and I convinced myself that if she were still there when I opened them, I would finally let myself believe.

The sight I was met with when I finally worked up the courage to open them almost made me fall to my knees. The moonlight streaming in through the windows glowed around her, accentuating the redness and poutiness of her thoroughly kissed lips. A faint blush was visible across her cheeks, and her chest was still heaving unsteadily as her eyes poured into mine.

Swallowing the last of my nerves, I slid my hands to the back of her neck, grazing lightly against the spot I had discovered. Pouring all the sincerity I could into my eyes, I smiled back at her.

"I love you, Bella."

She brought her hand up to my face, dancing her fingertips along my jaw as if she were trying to memorize my face in this moment. I moved in slowly, kissing her languidly, relishing the softness of her lips, the way her curves fit against my body. When she pulled back, I was left confused and still wanting in a love and lust-induced haze.

"Edward," she whispered. "Do you hear that?"

"Hmm?" I hummed, unable to hear anything but the blood still pounding in my ears, as I leaned in to kiss her again.

She shook her head firmly, putting a finger to my lips. "No, really. Listen. I think I hear crying."

Jerking back, I craned my neck to hear, and sure enough, there was whimpering echoing through the house.

"Lily," I gasped. "C'mon." I swept her up bridal-style, running up the stairs as quickly as I safely could. I burst into Lily's room, and she jumped from where she was curled in a ball in the corner of her bed, crying into her knees.

"Daddy! Bella! Where were you?! I had a bad dream, and you said I could go to you if I had a bad dream, but you weren't there, and then I went to Bella's room like you said I could if you weren't there, and Bella, you weren't there either!" she cried out.

Sliding Bella gently onto Lily's bed, I sat down beside Lily and pulled her onto my lap, rocking her gently.

"I'm so sorry, honey. We were downstairs. I'm so sorry. Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

She sniffled, rubbing her face in my shirt.

"I want Bella, too."

I looked to Bella to see if she agreed, and she was begging me with her eyes to say yes this once.

_Like I can tell either of them no. I am in sooo much trouble._

Lifting one side of my mouth into a smile, I nodded, picking Lily up to carry her to Bella's room. Before I left, I warned Bella not to try and move, to which she saluted me mockingly. Rolling my eyes, I took Lily and set her in the middle of Bella's bed and then stood again.

"Honey, I'll be right back. I have to go get Bella."

"'Kay, Daddy. Hurry."

Her sad, teary little voice tore at my heart and I sped back to Lily's to hoist Bella up and deliver her to her bed. I brought the comforter up, tucking them in securely. With Lily sandwiched between us, Bella stroked her face while I rubbed her back gently.

"I'm sorry you were scared earlier and couldn't find us, Lily," Bella apologized, sounding guilty and torn.

"What were you doing down there?" Lily sniffed indignantly.

Both of our eyes opened comically wide at each other, and I could see Bella's face burn red.

"We were just talking, sweetie. And I was playing piano," I half-lied, leaving out the kissing part. Bella and I had a lot more talking to do before we figured out how we were going to do this, and I wanted to keep it to myself for a while.

"Well, next time talk up here," she grumbled, slurring slightly.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Can you sing our song?" Lily mumbled.

"Mmm, I guess I could do that."

She sang softly to her, and I marveled at being able to witness how they spent their nights together when they were away. Lily fell asleep promptly, snoring quietly from her residual sniffling nose, curled into Bella's body.

"I love you, Lily," I heard Bella whisper before she kissed her forehead.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat loudly.

She giggled, turning towards me, her face only inches from mine on the pillow.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"You forgot something."

She arched her eyebrow, her lips twitching with a smile. I nodded seriously, tapping my forehead for a kiss. She smirked back at me.

"Whatever. I'm the one with the bum ribs. You should come over _here_ and kiss _me_."

Rolling my eyes, I huffed. "I _suppose_." Pushing up on my elbow, I leaned over Lily and brushed my lips gently against Bella's. Once, twice, three times before she smiled against my lips, pushing me gently back.

"I know, I know," I grumbled playfully, kissing Lily's forehead before laying back down.

"We have a lot more to talk about," I thought aloud.

"I know," she whispered back.

Pushing back up onto my elbow, I reached over Lily to sweep a few stray curls off Bella's cheek.

"Can we…I know we can't really _go_ anywhere yet, until we sort out that interview and you're a bit more healed, but…can we have a date tomorrow? Just slip away for a while by ourselves and talk about everything…" I trailed off, feeling completely out of my element.

_When was the last time I even had a date?_

"A date? Really?" she smiled. "I would love that."

Grinning down at her, I felt my heart swell at the happiness shining on her face.

_God, she is so beautiful._

"Then it's set. Tomorrow. You and me."

"Our first date," she murmured, gnawing on her lip in thought.

I felt my smile weaken a bit as I realized that I needed to make this special for her, to show her how much I cared about her.

_Fuck! What am I going to do? We can't go out, I can't take her to my spot, she can't walk that far, not that she probably wants anything to do with anything resembling a forest anytime soon…I know she likes lilies, Christ, that tattoo…_

"Hey," she called out softly, her hand stroking my cheek gently. "Come back to me. You're a million miles away."

Smiling regretfully at her, I stilled her hand on my cheek, sliding it to my lips to kiss her palm.

"Thank you, love. I just get stuck inside my own head sometimes. We should get some sleep."

She nodded back sleepily, snuggling her face adorably into her pillow as she closed her eyes. I released her hand and started to lie back down, when her voice stopped me.

"Tell me again."

Smiling, I couldn't resist stealing one more kiss. Whispering against her lips, I murmured, "I love you, Beautiful."

Her eyes still closed, a slow sleepy smile crept across her face. "I love you, too, Edward."

Curled around Lily, holding Bella's hand between their bodies, I slipped away to the best night's sleep I had ever had.

_My beautiful girls._

*

**A/N: Well, there you have it. What did you think?**

**And in a moment of shameless self-advertisement, I just found out I've been nominated for A Silent Tear Award for Best Tragedy. Lots of really cool stories nominated for all sorts of things, so check out that site to get your recs this week.**

**http://silent-tear-awards . webs . com/ **

**Just take out the spaces between the dots.  
**


	25. Chapter 25 New Day

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Good Lord. I throw in a little kissing and you guys come out of the woodwork! Thank you for all of your reviews, they are very appreciated, and I really do try to reply to them all. I'm excited to be up for another award! It's up for Best Written Fanfiction of the Year So Far at the Twilight All-Human Fanfiction Awards. I'll post the website at the bottom.**

**Thank you to bellamarie117 for her work beta'ing and FantasyMother for her help pre-reading for me. Thank you D Pattinson for her help this chapter as well.**

Chapter 25: New Day

(August 27th)

BPOV

"Oomph!" I groaned as a little knee made contact with my stomach. At least she missed the ribs she re-bruised yesterday.

Opening my eyes groggily, I realized I was snuggling a foot into my face, as Lily was lying upside down on the bed between Edward and I. They were both still sound asleep and I took the opportunity to ogle him a bit. He looked so adorable, his messy hair even crazier than usual, a light stubble shading his jaw. He was cradling Lily's other foot to his chest tightly, his face completely peaceful.

_Eee! He loves me!_

I couldn't _believe_ that last night had really happened. Yesterday had been such a rollercoaster, starting off with such a serious conversation with Edward about Lily, to horsing around with Emmett until the flowers showed up.

_Motherfucker still doesn't get it, even after all these years. I. Don't. Like. Roses._

Not that it would have made a difference even if he had shown up with lilies hanging from his ears. I couldn't believe the audacity of Jake. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I was angrier with him or myself. Him for trying to weasel his way into my life, or me for falling for it and calling him. And now he had my number.

_Stupid, stupid Bella._

Why? Why did he even care about anything to do with Edward? He had Vanessa. I had moved on. Even if I hadn't, I had matured enough to realize that he never knew the real me, he only knew the person he created and idealized in his mind. He had no idea who I really was, not that he ever did. Why wouldn't he just go away?

And then he had reached a whole new level of vindictiveness and evil when he started spewing venom about Edward and our abduction. No one else besides Edward would have been able to calm me down. And he had, until he opened his big mouth and sparked our first argument.

But I could never stay mad at him long, and I didn't really have a chance to try. Emmett kept me preoccupied enough to not worry constantly about Lily the entire time she was gone, but as soon as she came back I knew something wasn't right. Her face looked the same as it did the first time after James punished me in his room.

To see her lose it like that, to fall out of reality…I would have taken a thousand beatings or endured a hundred broken ribs to not ever witness that again. She was so wild, so broken. It had taken everything in me to not fall apart before I could bring her back from the dark place she was lost in. The same place I had been lost in before.

Now, as I reached down and stroked her hair, I smiled at the way she snuggled into my touch, how peaceful she seemed in her sleep.

It had killed me to leave her yesterday to go the hospital, but by the time the initial shock of the pain was over, it was too late. Emmett was beside himself, and all I could do to help him calm down was to stay at the hospital and be checked out so he wouldn't worry. If nothing else, it gave him time to stop blaming himself and Jasper time to talk reason to him.

Once we were _finally_ back home, I had been so eager to see Lily and Edward, only to be disappointed by the fact that they were already in bed. I settled into a chair in the library, sitting back and reading over an old favorite, Anna Karenina, and slipped away into slumber without meaning to.

When I had been awoken by the sound of that song…_that song_…Every night I had heard it, soothing me in sleep, haunting me in reality. And it was him, all along, it was him.

_It's always been him._

I caught Lily's leg just in time before she kneed me again and she stirred awake slowly, stretching out like a little cat.

"Good morning, sunshine," I sang to her.

"Ungh, Bella. Why are you upside down?"

Laughing at her, I helped pull her up to the head of the bed. "I'm not upside down, Silly Lily. You are. I'm surprised you didn't kick me off the bed."

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she yawned. "Does this mean we can't have sleepover Friday?"

I worried my lip, unsure. "I…I don't know. I guess that's up to Daddy. Last night was kind of a special circumstance, so maybe we can still do our sleepover."

Crinkling her little nose up unhappily, she asked indignantly, "What's cirsumskancet?"

Pulling her down for a hug, I smiled. "It just means that you had a good reason to be upset yesterday, so I don't know if last night counts towards not getting the sleepover. But even if we have to wait, we'll still do it sometime."

She was quiet for a moment, thinking seriously over everything I said. Or as seriously as a four-almost-five year old could. "So do you think everybody's mad at me? Daddy said s'okay, but…are you mad at me, Bella?"

Squeezing her tighter to me, I laid my head down on hers. "No one is mad at you, Lily. Not me, not Uncle Emmett, and not Daddy. Have you ever shaken up a soda and watched it explode?"

She nodded against my shoulder, so I continued.

"Well, sometimes when we have to keep things bottled up for a long time, and then we get shaken up, we explode, just like a soda bottle. That doesn't mean it's okay to throw a fit if you don't get to have ice cream for dinner, but yesterday was really hard. You remember the day I came back sad? I had to talk about what happened, too. And that day you made me feel better. Yesterday, it was my turn to make you feel better.

"And I'm really sorry you had a bad dream and couldn't find us. Do you want to talk about your dream?"

She looked up at me with sad eyes that were too old for her face. "Daddy got takened away by the man and we was trying to find him, but we couldn't, and then we got lost in the woods, and you got sick again, and I was all aloned."

I kissed her forehead to comfort her, trying to find the right words. "The _man_ is gone forever, Lily. He can never hurt us again. And Daddy and I love you so much. We will _never _leave you alone. I want you to try and not worry about yesterday. Let's have a good day today."

She nuzzled into me, sighing happily.

"That is such a beautiful thing to wake up to. How are my girls this morning?" Edward's husky, low voice asked.

Lily stayed close to me, but turned to face him, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Daddy! I was sleeping upside down. Do I still get my sleepover?"

He smiled back at her, rubbing his hand over his face and into his hair, making it even wilder.

"Yeah, my little Lilybug. Yesterday was a hard day for everybody. Today's a new day." He paused as Lily's stomach growl rang out into the room. Both of us laughing, he reached over to ruffle her hair.

"It sounds like it's time for breakfast. Bella, let me go find my mom to help you get ready while Lily and I get dressed."

Meeting his eyes for the first time that morning, I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Everything in his expression, his gaze, told me how much he still meant everything we had said the night before. The adoration in his eyes was even easier to see in the light of day.

"Thank you, Edward. I'll…you know…be waiting here."

He grinned at me, leaning over and kissing Lily's forehead. He kept his eyes locked on mine the whole time, brushing his thumb over my cheek before he pulled away.

"We'll be back," he promised in a God-awful impersonation of the Terminator, before jumping off the bed and throwing Lily over his shoulder as he strode out of the room.

Esme slipped in a few moments later, greeting me cheerfully as she opened the curtains in my room.

"Did you sleep alright, Bella? Last I saw you, you were curled up in the library."

I blushed instantly, thinking of last night, but willed the heat in my face away before she saw.

"I slept fine, Esme. Lily's nightmare woke up Edward and he brought me upstairs so we could all sleep together. Other than a few good kicks from Lily, it was great."

She chuckled as she helped me up to the shower. "That child takes after her aunt so much. Alice used to practically kick Carlisle off the bed, and I hardly had three inches to myself on nights she would sleep with us."

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as she helped me shower, reveling in the lightness I felt now that Edward and I had aired out our feelings. As I toweled my hair dry, Esme fetched the dress I had pointed out to her for me to wear for the day. After I had slipped on the strapless blue maxi-dress, Esme went to find Edward so he could help me downstairs.

Edward entered shortly after, as Esme took Lily down to the kitchen for breakfast. He froze just inside of my room for a moment, before leaping to the bathroom where I was leaning against the doorframe.

"_Love_. You look so beautiful in this color. Every time you wear it, it takes my breath away."

I blushed and looked down immediately, embarrassed as I tried to adjust to hearing compliments like that, the kind where he sounded so sincere, like he really believed it. He tilted my chin up gently, gazing at me with patient eyes.

"Can I kiss you, Bella?"

_Oh my God, yes, please._

My heart took off like a hummingbird's wings, but I managed to nod. He inched forward slowly, brushing his lips ever so softly against my own. When he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, I lost all ability to keep the kiss gentle. Winding my hands into his hair, I tugged lightly to keep him where I wanted him to be, but that seemed to light a spark in him. He pressed me further against the frame, his grip on my hips tight and barely restrained.

When he broke away for us to breathe, he rested his forehead against mine as I panted, trying to gain back some semblance of control.

"Christ, Bella. What you do to me with just a kiss…" he breathed, his chest heaving.

I wanted to laugh, because_ he_ was the one driving _me_ insane, but I didn't get the chance before his lips were on mine again, softer, gentler than before. Without meaning to, I let out a soft hum of satisfaction, and I felt his lips curl up into a smile, effectively ending the kiss.

"I love kissing you," I whispered as he nuzzled my neck.

"Mmm. I love _you_," he murmured against my skin, making me shiver a bit. He wrapped his arms around me for a hug and I rested my head against his chest, feeling so at home, so safe and happy. When he pulled back, I leaned against the doorframe for support, feeling shy as he stared down at me.

His brow furrowed and I followed his gaze down to my arm where the three-inch scar from James' stab was. My other hand flew up to cover it quickly, as I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

"Maybe I should put on a sweater or something, it's pretty gross to look at…"

"Shh," he hushed, pulling my hand away gently. Slowly, he pulled my arm up slightly, leaning down and kissing the puckered skin softly before raising his head back up, smiling at me. "Breathe, Bella."

I gasped out a small laugh, not realizing I had been holding my breath. Rubbing it softly with his thumb, he held my eyes with his.

"_This_ is a reminder of how strong you are. _This_ is a part of you, and every part of you is beautiful." Leaning in, he kissed me softly once more before scooping me up into his arms.

"We'd better get downstairs before Lily comes looking for us."

I bit my lip to keep from grinning like an idiot the whole way downstairs, inwardly fanning myself after everything he'd said.

_I think I almost swooned._

When we reached the kitchen we stopped short at the scene before us. Lily was rolling on the floor, cackling hysterically and pointing at Emmett, who was _covered_ in flour and God-knows what else, wearing a pink apron with ruffles. Esme popped up out of the hallway and began snapping pictures of him, and Edward was laughing so hard he had to set me on my feet to keep from dropping me.

"Emmett…whaa?" I asked, bewildered.

I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw his face blush underneath all the flour.

"Um, well, I know you guys have a thing for pancakes, so I thought maybe I'd make breakfast."

"Emmett," I spoke slowly. "Do you know _how_ to cook pancakes?"

He stuttered and gaped, trying to answer. "Well, I've seen my mom…and there's that Donald Duck cartoon…I tried to follow these instructions, but…"

I held up my hand, shutting him up. "Alright, Emmett, I got it. Did you and the flour get into an argument? Because I have to tell you it looks like you lost."

He became frantic, trying to explain and waving his hands about, flinging batter everywhere. "It just exploded on me! I was just standing there! All I did was rip the bag open and it flew all over the place! And I was trying to crack the eggs with one hand like I saw you do the other day, but they went everywhere, too. And that made the flour sticky, so now I can't get it off. I'm all crusty now."

An evil grin came across his face for a split second, and when he opened his mouth, I knew it would be bad.

"That's what sh-"

"Emmett!" we all yelled at him in unison.

His face and shoulders fell, and he looked miserable. "I just wanted to make Lily breakfast."

Lily had picked herself up off the floor, and she walked over to him, watching him curiously. She took a towel and cleaned off one of his giant paws before placing her little hand in his.

"Uncle Emmie, you can't cook. You probly shouldn't try to do that again. Can I spray you with water in the backyard?"

His face lit up into the biggest grin I'd ever seen, before it fell a bit, and he looked down at the mess on the counter.

"Go, Emmett," I smiled. "I'll take care of breakfast. Esme, would you help me?"

She smiled and nodded, snapping one more picture of Emmett before he was led out the back by Lily.

"You don't have to do that, love," Edward whispered behind me. Turning around, I saw his concern written on his face. "You should just rest, I can do it."

Raising my eyebrow at him, I asked, "And do _you_ know how to make pancakes, Edward?"

Running a hand through his hair embarrassedly, he gave me a sheepish smile. "I think I saw that cartoon Emmett was talking about once. I know you're not supposed to use rubber cement."

Rolling my eyes and laughing at him, I pushed him towards the wall where my crutches had been moved out of the music room.

"Give me those and then go sit your ass down. I have no interest in being poisoned or watching you set the kitchen on fire."

He made a face, but grabbed them for me anyway so I could hobble over to the counter to try and save breakfast where Esme was already cleaning up the disaster of Emmett's cooking. Edward began setting the table, winking every time he caught my eye, which of course made me blush. Esme's soft voice reminded me she was even still in the kitchen.

"I meant to tell you earlier, Bella, but I forgot. Thank you."

Shaking my head and smiling at her as I poured some batter on the griddle, I shrugged. "No, Esme. You know I love cooking."

Pausing her sponge on the counter, she looked up at me smiling.

"No, dear. I meant for yesterday. I don't know what we would have done without you here. How you are with Lily…" she trailed off, shaking her head, resuming her scrubbing.

"Esme, helping Lily is not something you ever need to thank me for," I frowned. "I honestly didn't know whether it would work or not."

Sweeping eggshells into her hand, she smiled. "But it did, and for that I'm grateful." She walked over to the sink to start rinsing out the many bowls Emmett had dirtied, leaving me to the pancakes. After a few moments, I felt eyes on me, and I looked up to see Edward staring at me in a daze.

I shook my head slightly at him, silently asking him what was wrong, but he shook himself out of it, giving me his crooked smile and winking again. My face flushed, and I bit my lip, looking back down at the griddle and flipping the pancakes. When I looked up again, he was still staring at me with that smile on his face, and I knew he was just doing it to make me blush.

'Stop,' I mouthed, trying to keep my grin from showing.

He shook his head no, resting his chin on his fist, _still_ staring at me. All of a sudden I heard a squeal from behind me and I whipped around to see Esme absolutely bouncing with excitement. Her eyes were darting between Edward and me, the cheesiest grin spread across her face.

"Ooooh! I have to go call Renee!" she clapped, practically vibrating.

"Carlisle!" she called, running from the kitchen down the hallway towards her bedroom.

"Oh God," I groaned, leaning over and banging my forehead against the counter. Two arms slipped around my waist a moment later, pulling me up gently until I was flush against his chest.

"Hey. Don't hurt that face. I like that face," he murmured into my hair.

"Edward, she's calling my _mother_. You've met her, right? She's certifiable. Which means she'll be calling me for a report within five minutes of hanging up with _your_ mother."

"Mmm," he hummed. "Well, you're safe for now. I don't hear your phone ringing off the hook yet."

Turning around in his arms, I crinkled my brow. "Where is my phone?"

He started to shake his head, but stopped mid-way, grimacing. "I turned it off yesterday after…" I waved him off to continue, rolling my eyes. "I think it's still on the couch."

"Crap, what if Charlie tried to call?!" I cried, reaching for my crutches to get to the living room.

"No, Bella, let me. I'll grab it and be right back. It's probably still on the couch. If Charlie tried to call you and couldn't reach you, he'd call me, and he didn't, so it's fine," he assured me. "Give me two seconds."

I nodded, turning back to the stovetop to finish the last of the pancakes. Two dozen had to be enough for the six of us. As long as Emmett only ate a dozen. Edward returned quickly, smiling apologetically.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I didn't even think about it until just now, either. And after Esme finishes calling Renee, I might just wish I had left it forgotten." Smiling until I powered up my phone, I almost growled when I saw that my mailbox was full.

_Jacob._

"I'll just be a minute," I spat through clenched teeth, taking my crutches and hobbling into the living room without another word.

"_Your mailbox is currently full. Twenty new messages. First message, received yesterday, 10:15 a.m.,_

"_You motherfucker! Don't fucking hang up on me, Cullen! It'll-"_

Delete.

"_Second message, received yesterday, 10:16 a.m.,_

"_What'd you do, turn off the phone? Take it away from her? You must not know Bella very-"_

Delete.

"_Third message, received yesterday, 10:17 a.m.,_

"_Bella, baby-"_

Delete.

"_Fourth message, received yesterday, 10:18 a.m.,_

"_Bella, please-"_

Delete.

"_Fifth message, received yesterday, 10:19 a.m.,_

"_Bella-"_

Delete. Sigh. This could take a while.

I went through every single message, ready to just delete the whole mailbox until I got to message nineteen.

"_Nineteenth message, received yesterday, 11:13 a.m.,_

"_Bells, it's Billy. I'm sorry, honey. Jake heard me talkin' to Charlie about the Cullens and tracked you down. Vanessa finally wised up and kicked him out, so he's back at home on the rez. Just wanted to let you know I've confiscated his phone so he won't be botherin' you anymore. I'm thinkin' about investin' in a good shock collar for him. Miss your lasagna, but I miss you more, hun. Give your ol' Uncle Billy a call sometime and let me know how you're doin'."_

Save.

"_Twentieth message, received yesterday, 11:20 a.m.,_

"_Hey Bells, it's your dad. I guess your phone's still off. Billy called and told me about Jacob. If he keeps buggin' you, you let me or Edward know, and we'll take care of it. We can make it look like an accident. That's all I'm sayin'. Give me a call so I know you're alright. Love you, Bells."_

Save.

Sighing, I sunk into the couch, rubbing my forehead hard, trying to fight the headache I felt coming on.

_Well, that explains a lot. Whore dumps him, so he tries to crawl back to me._

Oh my fuck, that just made me so much angrier at his words from yesterday.

_A good time with an easy girl? Obviously your thoughts, Jacob, not Edward's._

Picking up a throw pillow, I smothered my face in it and let out a cathartic scream of frustration.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" I heard Edward's worried voice ask from behind me.

"Mm-hmm," I nodded into the pillow.

I heard his footsteps as he came across the room, stopping in front of me. His fingers pried away the pillow and he searched my eyes, confused and concerned.

"Is everything okay?" he repeated urgently.

"Yeah, just annoyed. Sorry."

He narrowed his eyes, glancing down at the phone in my hand.

"The dog?"

_Did he just growl? That's kind of…hot._

I nodded, smiling grudgingly. "The dog. But his dad got a leash on him, so we're all good."

He smiled back briefly, sweeping my hair out of my face.

"Did he say anything to upset you?"

_Uh-oh. Growling again._

Shaking my head to reassure him, I pulled him closer to me. "I wouldn't know. I erased everything. No more about him. New day, remember?"

Relaxing, he smiled, leaning forward to capture my lips in a short and sweet kiss.

"New day," he whispered.

*

Lily's and Emmett's breakfasts had been cold by the time they finished horsing around in the water outside, but the end result was well worth a couple of micro-waved plates. We could see the light back in Emmett's eyes as Lily hung all over him like a slippery monkey. Lily could hardly eat she was laughing so much, talking about all the fun she had in the water, and it was great to see her so joyful after the horrific day yesterday.

Once they had changed out of their wet clothes and eaten, it was almost lunchtime, my exercises clearly forgotten by Emmett.

_Fine by me._

He had to leave to go meet Rose for lunch, so Edward, Lily, and I decided to watch a movie together.

"I know! We can watch _The Little Mermaid_!" Lily exclaimed, as if this idea could be considered novel, seeing as we watched it _every single day._

"Edward," I whispered frantically. "My ears will bleed. I can't do it. Not again. Anything else. Please."

He started to laugh uncontrollably, not even trying to hide it, so I shoved him off the couch.

"Lily! Tickle Daddy!" I shouted, to which she squealed, running across the room and jumping on him.

He let her attack him, laughing and rolling around on the floor with her.

"I know, Lily! We can watch _The Little Mermaid II_! Bella hasn't seen that one yet!"

She hopped off of him immediately, clapping her hands excitedly and running back to the entertainment center to find her movie. He smirked at me cockily, plopping down beside me on the couch again.

"What? It's not _The Little Mermaid_. It's the sequel! And don't worry, the fun doesn't end there. They made a third one, too. And we've got them all," he waggled his eyebrows at me obnoxiously, and I could do nothing but throw my head back and groan.

_I need to get some good movies over here. Quick._

_Rainbow Brite, Never-ending Story, Princess Bride, Goonies…_

My only defense against the monstrosity of cheap Disney sequels was to escape through sleep, and I slipped under before the opening song was even over. I hadn't really meant to, but I wasn't very sorry, either. Until Lily started talking from the floor in front of us.

"Bella, you always say funny stuff in your sleeping."

"Oh, yeah?" my voice cracked. I realized my head was resting on Edward's shoulder, and as I pulled myself up I was relieved to see he was asleep as well.

_I'm glad there's no drool either._

"Yeah. You were talkin' about mermaids and sharks and stuff. You wanna play dress-up?"

My eyes widened and I pursed my lips in thought. Normally, I'd agree right away, but I _really_ didn't want to look like a clown for Edward's and my date tonight.

"Not really, sweetie," I grimaced. "But what about….Ponies? Or we could dress up some Barbies instead?"

A dark shadow fell upon her face that instantly put me on alert.

"What is it, Lily? What did I say?"

She swallowed thickly, looking like she had a nasty taste in her mouth. "I don't think I like dolls today. I don't wanna play with any more dolls."

"Okaaay," I answered, bewildered. "Is it because you're turning five soon? Because I played with Barbies for a long time past five when I was younger."

Her little lip began to tremble, and I was completely lost at sea.

_What is happening right now?_

"I had to play with dolls yesterday. And I didn't like it. They had a Lily doll, and a Bella doll, but I wouldn't play with the man doll. I hate the man doll. I hate talking about owies," she cried, tears spilling out of her cheeks, stealing the breath from my body with her words.

_Owies?! What owies? Did he hurt her? What the fuck is going on right now?!_

"Okay," I rasped. "C'mon. To the window seat."

I pushed myself off of the couch, leaving Edward curled against a pillow snoring behind me. When I realized my crutches were still in the kitchen, I almost sat back down. But then I saw Lily's face waiting for me across the room.

_Doesn't matter._

Holding my arm around my ribs, I limped forward slowly and painfully, fully aware Edward was probably going to lose his shit when he saw I had walked without my crutches.

_Yeah, well, I might just lose my shit on him after I find out what they made her talk about. She's four!_

Lily was waiting for me on the window seat, already lying down on the narrow pallet. I crawled in beside her, covering us completely under a blanket until we were cocooned together, just the two of us.

"Tell me, sweetie," I whispered.

I held her as she explained through her tears what she had to talk about yesterday. My own tears fell with her, my body shaking as I heard her describe the doll-marking process.

_She saw. She saw everything._

"I'm sorry I was bad to see," Lily whimpered.

"No, no, no. Shh. Never bad. Just my Little Thing," I crooned, rocking her against my chest. My control was slipping quickly, and I tried to muffle my cries into her hair as I held her close.

"Please come next time. I heard that doctor say I have to go back. They want me to talk about while you were sleeping. Please come. I get too scared if you're not there," she begged, her fingers clutching me desperately.

"I'll be there," I promised. "I'll hold you the whole time. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry. I love you so much, Lily. I love you."

"I love you, too, Bella," she choked out, still shaking with broken sobs.

"Are you tired, Lily? Do you want to sleep here?" I asked, trying to wipe my face so I didn't drip tears all over her.

"Yeah," she mumbled, nuzzling into me.

I started singing without preamble, needing to hear it as much as I imagined she did. She was asleep before the first chorus, but I kept singing softly into her ear, trying to soothe her subconscious to keep the nightmares away. I wasn't tired at all after sleeping through the whole movie, but even if I was, my mind couldn't stop running.

Suddenly, the blanket was thrown back by a grinning Edward.

"Aha! Found you two! Were you guys playing hide-and-seek without…Bella? What's wrong?"

I burst into tears, huge, crushing sobs that pulled at my ribs, and he pulled me off the window seat as if I weighed nothing, carrying me back to the couch.

"Shh, Beautiful. Talk to me. You're scaring me, Bella. Tell me what's wrong, please," he begged, smoothing his hands over my hair as I sat across his lap.

"Lily…Barbies…dolls…owies…" I sobbed and choked, and as the understanding washed over him he crushed me to his chest.

"Oh, _love._ I'm so sorry," he sighed into my hair, holding me close and letting me have my cry.

"She…she…she _saw_," I cried, holding him to me as tight as possible, trying to climb inside of him to soothe the ache I felt.

"I know. I know," he whispered, holding me to him just as tightly as I grasped him. "Please don't blame yourself. She's too curious for her own good. She _will_ heal, love.

"God," his voice cracked. "I can't handle seeing you in this much pain. Please, tell me how to make it better."

"Don't…don't make her go back," I croaked, knowing even as I said it, there was no way he could grant such a request. But I was angry with him. Angry he let them ask her those things. And angry with myself for not being there.

"Bella," he whimpered, squeezing me even tighter. "I have to. I don't have any choice. They have to know if…if anything happened while you were out of it. If there was…anyone else there."

More tears fell from my eyes out of guilt for hurting him and making this harder on him, when I _knew_ he would never be doing it if he had the option not to.

"Next time…next time I'm going. I don't care what you say. I already promised her. She asked me. I have to go," I told him, my voice trembling.

He pulled me back, glaring at me. "How could you do that? You shouldn't have promised her something like that without talking to me fir-"

"Because I knew you'd say no!" I snapped. "She _asked _me. She said she was too scared to do it again without me."

"But she had…_I_ was there," he protested softly, the hurt tone in his voice increasing the pain in my chest.

"Edward…"

"Do you know how much it kills me to not be able to comfort her when she's like that? Me being there, it didn't make a lick of difference. And what's worse than not knowing what's wrong, is not even being able to try. I was _frozen_ yesterday, watching her go crazy in the kitchen. I felt completely useless," he finished, shaking his head at himself.

My eyes burned with more tears as I heard him doubt himself as a father.

_Completely unacceptable. I must fix this._

"Edward," I sighed, nudging his chin my direction. "I took a complete shot in the dark yesterday. It could have just as easily gone the other way, but…But you have to understand that what she and I went through put me in situations where I had to calm her after really awful things.

"I've told you before, your love for her is what she focused on when we were there. All she wanted was to get home to her daddy. I…I'm sorry I decided for you about coming to the next statement. I promised you once I wouldn't make decisions without discussing it with you first, and I broke that. But if she needs me there, then I _have _to go. Please don't be angry with me over this.

"She still needs you, too. I'm no replacement for you. I think she needs us _both._"

He rested his head against my shoulder, but I could feel his body still tensed. "I knew there would be times like this. In the hospital, when we were waiting for you to wake up, I _begged _you to come back to us. I knew I would need your help. This part of her that experienced all that torture, you're the only one that can truly relate to it.

"I just wasn't expecting to feel like such a failure at not being able to compensate for when you couldn't be there. I didn't want you at that statement because I didn't want to set you back. I was afraid of you hearing something that would upset you, that would just make it that much harder on you. I thought I could be enough," his voice broke.

Breathing in deeply to try and keep myself from breaking down again, I pulled his face up from my shoulder and cradled it in my hands.

"You're not a failure," I whimpered, trying to keep my voice from trembling. "Back when life was normal, you weren't a failure when you needed help from your family watching her while you worked, and you're not one now if you need me. You're _more_ than enough. You have no idea the strength you give us just by being there.

"But she's more important. If she needs me there, regardless of what it might do to me, then I need to be."

He shook his face out of my hands, a pained expression on his face. "But that's just it! I want to protect you both! She…she's my life, Bella, but I love you, too. I can't stand to see either one of you hurting. I've never been with someone since she's was born, and I don't know how to balance it."

I swallowed thickly, a sense of dread creeping up my spine. "I…I don't want to cause you stress or pain, Edward. She comes first, always. To both of us. Are you…are you saying you don't want to be with me, then?"

Faster than light, he slid me off of his lap and onto the couch, laying me back against the throw pillows. He laid beside me, stroking my face and my hair, a more relaxed look on his face now.

"No, you silly woman," he smiled sadly. "I'm voicing my frustrations out loud, and I lose my filter when I get upset. _You_ are stuck with me. The only way you'll get rid of me is to order me away, and even then I can't make any promises. Siobhan mentioned us coming in, just you and me, if we decided to try this for-"

"Foundation training?" I finished for him, smiling up at him as I felt my body able to breathe again.

He nodded, smiling back, a bit stronger this time. "We'll figure this out, love. Never _ever_ question whether I want this with you. I want everything with you.

"My Beautiful Bella," he whispered, right before leaning down and capturing my lips in a kiss. It was soft and slow, building in intensity until I was lost in him. Before I was ready for him to, he pulled back, smiling ruefully.

"I just remembered we're not technically alone in here. Knowing my daughter is sleeping ten feet away makes me feel a little dirty for all the things running through my mind right now."

I giggled, feeling my face heat at forgetting the small child sleeping in the corner. He ran his finger along my cheekbone, smiling gently down at me.

"That laugh is all I want to hear for the rest of the day. We'll talk more tonight."

"Our date?" I asked, biting my lip to keep my stupid grin from breaking out. "What are we doing?"

He grinned at me like a little boy. "It's a surprise."

I tried to pout it out of him. "Please? I hate surprises."

"You won't hate this one," he promised cockily. If he didn't look so proud of himself, I would probably have said something snarky back at him. But I could see the faintest hint of doubt in his eyes, and I remembered how lost in his thoughts he had seemed last night when we had decided to have our first date. He had undoubtedly been worrying over what to do all day, wanting it to be perfect.

_Silly boy. All I need is him._

"Maybe you're right," I conceded softly, lifting my head up towards his for one more kiss.

*

After a sufficient lecture from Edward on not walking without my crutches, _no matter_ _the reason_, he helped me upstairs so I could work on my book for a while and give him some time to 'prepare.'

_Hmph. Wouldn't even give me a hint._

I answered an email from Angela, glad to find out she would be back with Ben in another week. Ignoring the two new voicemails from Renee, I turned my phone to silent so I could get some typing done in peace.

Now that I wasn't completely consumed with thoughts of Edward, the next chapter flowed easily from my fingertips. And I only mistakenly replaced Stephen's name with Edward's three times.

_Definite improvement._

It wasn't until my hands started getting shaky on my keyboard that I realized I had missed lunch completely, and it was nearing time for dinner. My eyes drifted over to the mini-fridge across the room, but upon sitting up, I realized I was too light-headed to make the trip. Reaching for my phone, I texted Edward to come get me, inwardly cringing at what his reaction would be when he realized I hadn't eaten since breakfast. He could be as bad as Emmett regarding the 'Make Bella Gain Weight Plan.'

As soon as he came in, his smile faltered.

"You look pale, Bella. What's wrong?"

I tried to crack a joke to calm the storm that would be coming.

"I'm always pale, Edward. Can you help me downstairs so I can help Esme with dinner?"

He came forward immediately, shaking his head.

"She's already got dinner sta-…Bella, what have you eaten today?" he asked angrily.

I flinched reflexively and his eyes softened instantly as he sat down beside me on the bed.

"I'm sorry, love," he apologized, but his voice was still firm. "Please tell me you've had more than just pancakes today."

I wrinkled my nose, grimacing. "Okaaay. I've had more than-"

He sighed exasperatedly. "Tell me _truthfully_ you've eaten more than just pancakes today."

I bit my lip, frowning. "I'm sorry. I forgot."

His jaw clenched and he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefingers.

"I can't _believe _I let you-"

_Aaaand there's where I stop listening. __**Let **__me?_

"Alright, that's enough," I snapped. "_I_ forgot. _I_ am a big girl. I'm not your child or your pet. I lost my appetite when I was dealing with Lily earlier and then I got carried away writing. I'm amazingly human that way. It happens."

He blinked at me in shock for a moment, but I couldn't regret snapping on him. Whether my sudden wave of bitchiness was an effect of that stupid craving blocker I was on, the lack of food, or a combination of the two, he needed to understand. I had been completely serious when I said last night that if we were going to do this we needed to be equals.

"I…you're right. I'm sorry."

_Huh?_

_Okay, I wasn't expecting that._

A slow smile crept across his face. "Talking out loud, love."

I winced, closing my eyes hoping it would make me or him disappear. "I really need to eat. And I'm sorry for going all crazy on you. I meant what I said, but I didn't have to be such a bitch about it."

I felt his palm against my cheek, and I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me lovingly.

"Don't call yourself names, love. You _are_ right. I'm used to always being in control, or trying to be, at least. And I know I don't control you, nor do I want to. I love your independence, and even your stubbornness, usually. But I care about you deeply, and I'm entitled to my own feelings as well. When I see you not caring for yourself properly, I'm going to be worried. And maybe even a little bit annoyed," he smirked.

I rubbed my hand over my eyes, feeling more than a little bit sheepish for my behavior, but mostly just really, _really_ hungry.

"You're right, too," I sighed. "This is _so_ not the day I saw us having when we went to sleep last night."

His expression clouded, and his smile looked forced. "Do you want to cancel our plans? If you're tired…"

"No! No…I just hate tension. And confrontation. And arguing. And crying. I'm _so_ sick of crying. But I want us to have our date. We _need_ to talk about us. There's so much that goes with _this_," I motioned between him and myself, "and I'd like for us to have at least _started_ to talk about it before we go into Siobhan's and get mindfucked."

He burst out laughing, pulling me to his body for a hug.

"What?" I asked, muffled into his chest.

"Nothing," his chest shook with laughter. "I've just never heard anyone besides me say mindfucked before. I always fuck with Jasper about it, but to hear your sweet little mouth say it…"

"Edward?" I murmured into his shirt.

"Yes, love."

"Please feed me."

He scooped me up immediately, cradling me tightly to his chest and kissing the top of my head.

"Yes, love."

*

Dinner was refreshingly quiet, with only Edward, Lily, Carlisle, Esme, and me. I loved every single member of that family, but sometimes it was overwhelming to be surrounded by so many people after spending so many years mostly alone.

After a good nap, Lily was feeling much better. And she had something up her sleeve. She, Esme, and Edward were huddled up at one end of the table whispering together, while Carlisle tried to engage me in conversation.

"So how did you get appointed distracter for the evening, Carlisle?" I appraised him coolly, shifting my eyes down the table towards the conspiring threesome.

He grinned that damned crooked smile that had passed on to Edward and Lily, producing the same effect as always.

_See smile. Melt. Every damn time._

"I just wanted the chance to catch up with you, Bella. You know, how's therapy, how's the book coming along, that sort of thing. Everyone else has gotten their turn with you, I'd just like to get to know you a little better."

Rolling my eyes, I humored him. "Well, therapy's fine, I guess, considering I've only gone the one time. But I really like her. The book's a work in progress, but I actually got an entire chapter finished this afternoon. My favorite color is blue, I'm a Virgo, and I've read Pride and Prejudice forty-two times."

He raised an eyebrow at me, chuckling. "Forty-two times, eh? Can you recite it from memory yet?"

"I'm working on it," I smirked. "Hey! You three down there. What are you up to?"

"Nothing," they answered in unison, _much_ too innocently.

I narrowed my eyes in on Lily, but she shook her head violently back and forth, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"I can't tell, Bella! It's a surp-"

"Lily! Shh, honey. Bella, behave. You'll find out eventually," Edward scolded playfully.

"Fine," I pouted, crossing my arms, but blinking at Lily so she knew I was kidding.

She blinked back, then jumped out of her chair, dragging Esme down the hallway with her.

"See you tomorrow, Bella!" she called as she slammed Esme's door shut.

I turned bewildered to Edward, but he was smiling shyly at me. Carlisle excused himself quietly, but I barely noticed, my eyes solely on Edward.

"My parents are keeping her occupied for the next few hours and then letting her sleep with them in their room for a 'Nana and Papaw Night,"' he explained.

"Date time?" I asked excitedly.

He nodded bashfully, before furrowing his brow for a second.

"Could you…I just need like five minutes. Would you mind waiting for me in the living room? Are you comfortable in what you're wearing?"

I felt my eyebrows lift as I looked down at my dress.

"Yeah," I answered hesitantly. "What are we doing?"

He shook his head, walking over to help me up.

"Just give me five minutes. Okay?"

"Okay," I laughed, hobbling into the living room to wait for him.

*

Fifteen minutes later, a knock at the door made me jump. Shutting my book quickly, I turned around to see Edward shuffling adorably in the doorway, holding a single white lily.

"Hello, Bella. You look beautiful this evening. I'm here to pick you up for our date?"

I bit my cheeks to keep from smiling like a fool as I pushed off the sofa to face him.

"Thank you, Edward," I answered quietly. "I'm ready."

He smiled brightly at me, walking forward quickly to hand me my flower. Not even giving me time to enjoy it, he swept me up into his arms, carrying me forward with purpose towards the stairs.

"I hope you don't think you can get me into your bed on the first date, Mr. Cullen," I joked.

"What kind of gentleman do you think my mother raised, Ms. Swan?" he snarked back.

Up the stairs he climbed, carrying us through his room to the balcony door. I had never realized the terrace outside my room could also be accessed through his, having never ventured out there. He slid me down gently, wrapping his hands around my waist to keep me steady.

"If...if this isn't what you want, just say the word, and we'll do something else, anything you want."

Entwining my fingers with his on my hips, I squeezed to reassure him.

"I just want you, Edward."

He lifted a slightly trembling hand to cover my eyes as his other reached for the door to open it, before sliding his arm back down around my waist to lift me effortlessly onto the balcony.

"Ta-daa," he chuckled nervously, pulling his hand down from my eyes so I could see.

_Oh my God._

It was unbelievable. He had strung strands of tiny white lights around the banisters of the balcony, illuminating the area in a soft glow. Small vases holding blossoms of stargazer lilies were set around the edge, filling the air with their sweet scent. Several plush pillows were laid out for us beside a thick blanket to guard us from the chilly night. Soft piano music played in the background as he carried me forward to sit upon the cushioned floor.

I felt his eyes on me as I continued to stare around, so I turned to face him, touched by the uncertainty I saw there.

"Edward…this is beautiful."

"You're sure?" he asked uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck.

"This is…_perfect_," I promised.

He reached out to hold my face, bringing it forward to his as he brushed my lips lightly, but I wanted to _show_ him how much this meant to me. No one had ever gone to this kind of trouble for me before, or put so much thought into something like this. Gripping his arms tightly, I threw as much of my body as I could into the kiss, thanking him without words.

I felt a groan reverberate in his chest before he pulled back, too soon for my taste. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, stroking his fingers lightly through my hair.

"Be careful kissing me like that, Beautiful. You severely overestimate my control," he breathed before kissing my forehead.

"I wasn't complaining," I panted, breathing him in.

"Bella," he chuckled, pulling me back away from his body to look me in the eye. I gasped at the intensity he stared at me with, how the black of his pupils were dilated so much there was only a hint of green in his eyes.

"I may be a gentleman, but I'm still a man. If we want to get any kind of talking done, we have to stop now."

"Fine," I pouted. "I'll be good."

Grinning, he gave me one more kiss before grabbing a blanket for me. As he lifted it to wrap around my shoulders, I noticed the basket that had been hidden underneath.

"What's that?" I asked.

"_That_ is dessert. An aura-reading little birdie told me that chocolate madeleines were your favorite, and normally I'd have a bottle of wine or something, but since that's not an option with your medication, I've got coffee instead."

I arched my eyebrow, deciding to mess with him a bit. "'_Normally_' you'd have a bottle of wine? I'm interested to know, Edward. What's the _normal_ agenda for an 'Edward Cullen first date?'"

"What? No!" he sputtered, before seeing the evil smile on my face. He gave me a wry grin, shaking his head. "I'll have you know that there is no _normal agenda_ for a date with me. I very proudly have no game whatsoever."

"I find that hard to believe," I argued.

"It's true," he nodded seriously, a faux innocent look painted on his face. "I completely stole this whole idea."

"I'll try not to be disappointed," I teased. "How did you come up with it then?"

He cleared his throat and darted his eyes away, piquing my curiosity.

"Edward? What?"

"I kind of stole it…from you," he spoke so quietly I could barely make out his words, but they left me completely confused.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed nervously. "I've never…" I trailed off, looking around the balcony again with new eyes. A scene, much like the one before me, popped into my mind.

_Stephen spent hours lighting the candles just so, so they might accentuate the rosiness of Cynthia's cheeks. The white and pink lilies he placed about the terrace could not compare with her sweet scent, they would only enhance her natural fragrance, but if nothing else, they were her favorite. _

_His faithful butler Russell was in his place at the piano, filling the air with soothing melodies, setting the atmosphere to give Stephen his chance to finally reveal his true feelings for her. All was ready for her. A shawl, for he could not let his love catch cold. Her favorite sweets and wine were laid out for her, waiting._

I gasped as the realization hit me that he had recreated the first love scene between the two main characters of my books. His thumb swept across my cheek, erasing the tear that had fallen.

"I hoped it might be something you'd like if you took the time to write it," he whispered. "I know it's not quite the same, but I didn't want to deal with candles going out every time the wind blew, and like I said, about the wine…"

I did the only thing I could think of.

I attacked.

I fisted my hands in his shirt, pulling him to me, our lips meeting in a frenzy of tongue and teeth as his arms automatically wrapped around me for support. Sliding my hands up to his hair, I gave an experimental tug to see if I could elicit the same reaction I had received the last time I pulled.

I got it.

In the way he tightened his hold around me, never hurting me, but held me so close to his chest I could hardly breathe. Every part of my body felt like a live wire, and when my breasts rubbed against his chest, I let out an embarrassingly loud moan that I didn't even have room in my head to worry about.

He laid me back against the cushions, delicately and reverently, lying next to me but keeping me close with his arms pressed against my back. His kisses trailed along my jaw, down my neck, and when he sucked and bit against the hollow behind my ear, I actually almost came.

"Oh my God," I whimpered as he lavished my neck and collarbone with kisses unrelentingly. One of his hands slid down my waist, tickling me slightly, causing me to buck into him, where I felt the evidence of his own arousal.

He froze, his face buried in my neck, his grip on my waist firm and restrained.

"_Fucking Christ_, Bella," he hissed into my skin, his breathing labored as he struggled to regain his control.

I rested my forehead against his shoulder, trying to calm myself as well. He was still pressed so closely to me; I could feel how hard he was.

"Sorry," I lied breathlessly. "I'll be good now, I promise."

He laughed weakly against my neck, his breath tickling me and making me shiver and rub against him. He stopped my movement immediately, groaning. I let the responsible part of my brain take over, keeping my body stock-still, giving us both time to recover. We needed to talk, not dry-hump like teenagers.

"I think," he panted, "that I need a minute before I get the coffee."

I giggled, pulling away from him at last to lean my head back against the pillows.

"That's okay. I'm plenty awake now," I smiled cheekily.

He grew serious as he swept my hair out of my face.

"I want this to work," he murmured.

My smile fell slowly, and I nodded.

"Me, too," I whispered.

"So let's figure out how to do that," he smiled, reaching down and entwining his fingers with mine, bringing them up to rest between us.

And we talked. About everything. We agreed to go see Siobhan together to work on our relationship now and how it would work once we moved back to our lives. He admitted he felt guilty for wanting to go back to work because of the long hours he would have to put in to finish his last year of residency, but that he missed medicine. I admitted to missing my solitude, but that I didn't know how to be away from Lily.

"Do you have a writing schedule? Or do you just do it as it comes to you?" he asked suddenly.

"Just whenever the mood strikes me, I guess. I have days where I don't even open my laptop, and benders where I only stop to sleep and eat. Why?"

He chewed on his lip, frowning. "I was just wondering…This is just an idea, and if you don't want to, or you want to run it by Siobhan first, that's fine. But once you're healed up, and you've got the walking cast on…If you ever wanted her to spend the day with you while I'm at work, you could just call and let me or my mom know."

"Are you serious?" I squealed. "Can we do it every week? Can I do more than one day a week? Can she come to my apartment?"

"Calm down, love," he laughed. "You've got to get healed first, but it was just an idea to help her adjust to not living with you anymore. I'm a little worried how she's going to take it when you move back to your place.

"I'm not really looking forward to it, either," he added quietly.

"But you'll get to have Lily back home with you," I soothed. "I'm sure you miss having Daddy and Lily time with just the two of you."

"I do," he admitted.

He talked to me about his problems with panic over letting her out of the house without him and told me more about his first appointment with Siobhan. He wiped my tears as he gave me full disclosure on Lily's statement. I filled him in on my hospital visit yesterday; assuring him it was only a light bruise that I twisted the wrong way.

He ran his fingertips like a feather across my ribs in silent apology.

"I don't know how I'm going to go from seeing you every minute of the day to a few hours a week," he said sadly.

"Hospital life that bad?" I asked.

He rolled onto his back, holding my hand on top of his chest as he gazed at the starry sky above us.

"Not _bad_, per se, just busy. I only get one day off a week, on Sundays, and I usually spend those over here with my family. We have a family dinner every Sunday night. I'd love for you to come for those, if you'd like."

"I'd love that," I smiled, and he turned his face towards mine to smile in return.

"It's going to be hard working in the therapy sessions around my shifts," he sighed.

"What are your hours like?"

"Seven to seven, usually. Some days I have to stay up there until as late as ten, others I can duck out a little early if I get through my paperwork. Those were the nights Lily and I would pick up food on the way home and cook dinner together." He swallowed thickly, turning his face back up toward the sky.

"Maybe…maybe we could have dinner together on the days that I keep her," I suggested, trying to bring him out of his memories.

"That'd be great," he smiled weakly. "I'm worried about not being able to see you enough, too. I never felt that I saw Lily enough as it was, and I _know_ I'm going to want to spend time with you, without her around, and that just makes me feel like a complete asshole."

"Hey," I protested softly, turning his face towards me. "Not an asshole, just an adult. I'm not high maintenance, Edward. I've spent the last two years only seeing my parents, Jake's dad, and Angela. I'll be grateful for any amount of time I'll get to spend with you. I'll miss seeing you, too, but we can make it work. The last thing I want you to do is spread yourself out too thin. It's not forever. This is your last year, right?"

He nodded, so I continued.

"So we just have to make it through a few more months, and then you'll have a more livable schedule. We could…" I searched my brain for ideas. "I could come over after Lily goes to sleep some night if you're not too tired. Or I could come have lunch with you at the hospital once a week or something."

"You sure you won't get tired of having to do all the work? What about if you need me and I can't be there? What if you meet somebody else? Are we exclusive? Do you want to-"

"Edward!"

"Yes, Bella."

"Please shut up."

He chuckled, pulling me closer to him with my head resting on his shoulder.

"Yes, Bella," he whispered.

"If I start to feel worn down, I'll talk to you about it. If I need something and you can't be there, I'll take care of it myself. Or call Emmett, or Jasper, or Carlisle, or Charlie, or Esme, or Rosalie, or Alice. I already told you, but if you need to hear it again, then fine.

"For me, there is no one else. Which sort of rules out any notion of me seeing anyone else. Did…did you wa-"

"No!" he exclaimed quickly. "I…Bella, you're everything I could ever want in a woman. I love you, and only you, of course I don't want to see anyone else. That was a dumb question, I guess. I just don't want to fuck this up."

"Don't doubt yourself so much, Edward. I think we're both just stubborn enough to make this work no matter what comes our way. We didn't exactly have the most conventional start. There is no rulebook for us. We'll figure it out as we go."

He hugged me tighter to him, brushing his lips across my forehead.

"How'd you get to be so smart?"

"Meh," I shrugged. "Just born a genius, I suppose."

His quiet laughter shook his body against me and I snuggled into him, relaxing.

"We forgot about the coffee," he murmured after a few moments.

"I don't care about the coffee," I sighed lazily. "Can we just stay like this for a while?"

"Anything you want, love."

We lay for hours, comfortable silences broken intermittently with light topics, small talk, and stolen kisses. I wasn't sure when I drifted off, but at some point I felt myself being settled into softness. A familiar lullaby played in the background as velvet lips brushed against my cheek. The last thing I remembered was Edward's voice, though I wasn't sure it was real or dream.

"_Sleep, my Beautiful Bella."_

*

**A/N: I'm having some computer problems today, so it may take me a little longer to send out teasers for your reviews, but I _will _get them out to you. Love to hear what you think!**


	26. Chapter 26 Come What May

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot and Lily's adventures are mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! Over 8k! That's just amazing. I just found out I'm up for a Faithful Shipper Award for Best Meet-Cute and Best Gut-Dropping Line. I was so excited to be nominated, although I don't have a snowball's chance in hell. I mean srsly, I won't be voting for me. But you should check out the website and vote for your favorites. There's a fuckton of good fics nominated for some good stuff.**

**Fantasy Mother lets me bug her at work all day long to pre-read and reassure me, and Bellamarie117 betas faster than a locomotive. Both you ladies rock hard.**

**To my brother: It's really fucking cool you started reading this and you like it, but if you could **_**not**_** read the shower scene, that would be awesome. Or I may never be able to look you in the eye again.**

**To everybody else: You better not skip the whole chapter just to get to the shower scene.**

**Because of RL responsibilities, I'm having to break up this chapter into two parts, both in EPOV again. I'll get it up as soon as possible.**

Chapter 26: Come What May

(August 30th)

EPOV

_Mission Bella's Perfect Day has begun._

This had to be perfect. We'd had a shittastic day yesterday doing the interview with _People_. Sharon hadn't wasted any time getting in contact with Angela, and the interviewer had arrived bright and early Thursday morning. Bella had gone in to see Siobhan on Wednesday to help soothe her nerves about it.

She had come home so proud of herself. Siobhan and she spent the hour breaking dishes, of all things. Through her journaling, she had discovered that the sound of glass breaking triggered some pretty intense panic attacks. But after an hour of talking, breathing exercises, and several broken glasses, she could easily hear glass break without so much as a flinch.

I was really fucking proud of her, too.

She had been exhausted afterwards, and the rest of that day had been spent lazing about the house. We spoke at length about the upcoming interview after Lily was in bed, deciding that our relationship would remain between us, only admitting to a friendship. After several long kisses goodnight, I went to find my parents and make arrangements for Lily to be occupied in the other side of the house in the morning while we had our interview. I had fallen into bed exhausted already from the day I knew was coming, and fell asleep to the faint strands of the crude recording I had made of Bella's, Lily's, and my mother's lullabies for her to listen to at night. She made it through without any dreams that I could hear.

Thursday morning I expected her to be a complete wreck, but as always, she surprised me. She emerged from her room completely composed, with an air about her that I couldn't help but gawk at. Even though she still had another ten pounds to gain before she would be back to her old weight, she hid it well under a thick sweater-dress and pale tights that made her legs look fuller. I knew she had experience doing interviews before for her book series, but I had never seen her in action. It was almost as if she had been body snatched, because the person sitting next to me answering the interviewer's questions did not seem like my Bella.

This Bella didn't blush or fumble her words. She didn't fidget or bite her lip. Whenever a question was asked that she didn't want to answer, she declined it with an authority that left no room for compromise.

After a polite thank-you and good-bye to the interviewer, Bella excused herself from the room, leaving me to schedule the photo shoot and show the interviewer out. Searching through the entire downstairs for her to no avail, I had pounded up the stairs frantically trying to find her, stopping short when I reached her room. When I had knocked, she didn't respond. When I had tried the knob, it was locked.

My first inclination was to give her the privacy she obviously wanted, hard as it might have been for me. But a tugging I had felt as I walked away from her room only increased the further from her I went. Remembering what Charlie had told me about not letting her pull away, I decided to try one more time. Entering through the balcony door, the sight of her hunched over the toilet, green and crying, had broken my heart.

"_Bella," I gasped before jumping to her side._

_She tried feebly to push me away, but I stubbornly remained, holding her hair back as she continued to heave._

"_Edward, please. Just go. I don't want you to see me like this."_

_Running a damp cloth over her forehead and face, I smiled sadly at her._

"_Bella, please. Let me take care of you, love."_

_Arguing would have taken strength she didn't have, so she relented, not speaking again until her stomach was empty. Relieved to not see any blood in the bowl, I carried her to bed, propping her up slightly before I ran downstairs to find some crackers and Gatorade, along with a bowl in case she got sick again. Once upstairs again, I snatched her Ativan from the bathroom and handed them to her._

"_I think it's over now, Edw-"_

"_Bella, please. Just humor me."_

_Sighing, she nodded, swallowing the pill quickly. Rubbing my fingers along her arm down to her wrist, I tried to inconspicuously check her pulse, but failed miserably._

"_I don't know who you think you're fooling, Edward, but it's not me. Just get it out of your system," she smiled weakly at me, and I grinned back sheepishly before running to fetch my bag from my room._

_She sat uncharacteristically patient, letting me check her over without a single huff. It didn't take too long for me to be satisfied that it was only nerves and nothing more serious._

"_Will you do me a favor, Beautiful?"_

"_Mmm?" she hummed, the Ativan clearly taking effect already._

"_Stay in bed today? Just rest. You're still healing and I don't want you to wear yourself out and end up back in the hospital." I knew damn well that she despised the idea of the hospital, so I was counting on the threat of it to be enough to keep her in bed._

"_Okay. I'm sorry about earlier. Interviews always work my nerves up. I've never actually gotten sick before, though."_

_Lying down beside her, I picked up her hand. "Please don't apologize. Different kind of interview this time around."_

"_Yeah," she whispered. "If you're not worried about me being contagious, can I see Lily later?"_

"_You'll stay in bed?" I asked again._

"_Promise. Will you stay with me for a little while?"_

"_For as long as you want me." Forever! My mind screamed out._

_She giggled, snuggling deeper into my side where she fit perfectly. _

"_Get comfortable then."_

She had been a model patient for me the whole day, as getting sick had taken quite a toll on her still-recovering body. She had simply smiled and let my mom come in and give her soup while she fluttered about her, checking her forehead and giving Renee a play-by-play on speakerphone. Lily had filtered in and out of Bella's room, playing card games and bringing Bella pictures to make her feel better. She had gone to sleep early, and this morning I carried Lily into Bella's room before I went downstairs to make breakfast so they could wake up together.

Lily in Bella's bed.

_Check._

Chocolate-chip pancakes with whipped cream and bacon.

_Check. Sort of._

_I hope extra crispy is okay._

Bouquet of lilies and blue rhinestone tiara for Bella, bouquet of lilies and pink rhinestone tiara for Lily.

_Check. But I still think Lily added that herself._

_Alright, Cullen. Showtime._

Internal pep talk over, I walked carefully up the stairs, carrying the large tray of food, flowers and juice, the tiaras already on the table beside Bella's bed. As I walked down the hall, I heard Bella's sleepy voice ring out.

"Lily? What's going on? Did you have a bad dream? Where's your daddy?"

I walked into the room then, and Lily jumped to her feet on Bella's bed.

"Surprise! It's your perfect day!"

Bella's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes going wide as they flitted between Lily and me. They started to shine and her lips trembled as she spoke in a voice thick with emotion.

"Thank you so much."

Smiling, I walked forward, setting the tray down before her and setting the two vases of lilies on her nightstand. I picked up the tiaras, which Bella accepted with a curious eye, Lily with a cheesy grin.

"Princess of Blue and Princess of Pink, see?" she showed Bella excitedly.

Grinning, Bella placed hers atop her head.

"Perfect."

.

After the three of us stuffed ourselves on breakfast, I took Lily to go get dressed while my mom went to help Bella get ready to go to the playground.

"Daddy, this is _so_ cool," Lily grinned as she tore her nightgown off and threw it at my head.

I pulled her tiara out of her nightdress before dropping it in the hamper. She was lying on the floor of her closet trying to kick her way into leggings just like Bella.

"We're going to match, Daddy," she grunted before looking up at me with narrowed eyes. "You need to match, too."

Gaping at her, I shook my head furiously back and forth. "Lily, daddies do _not_ wear leggings. Or dresses."

She scowled at me, huffing. "Duh, Daddy. I meant match colors."

"Oh," I remarked stupidly, checking out her blue dress and dark blue leggings. "Okay. I'll go change and meet you downstairs."

I set her tiara atop her head and left to go to my room, but not before she called out behind me.

"Thank you, Daddy!"

.

Once I was _appropriately _matching the girls in a blue t-shirt and dark jeans, we piled into the car to make the one-minute drive down the street to the park. As soon as Lily was unbuckled, she sprinted from the car to the playground, leaving me to help Bella out. I chuckled under my breath as we made our way to a bench at how Bella's eyes followed every single one of Lily's movements on the structure.

"She won't hurt herself, will she?" Bella asked worriedly.

"Bella, she's been to this park a million times. She knows these monkey bars better than the people who made it."

She bit her lip, continuing to watch Lily anxiously, who had all but forgotten about us. Picking up her hand in mine, I rubbed small circles into the back with my thumb. When that didn't seem to work, I just started talking.

"So, why the park?"

"What?" she asked, looking at me finally.

"Why'd you pick the park for your perfect day?"

Her brows knit together before she looked back out towards Lily.

"Well, one, because I hadn't been outside in so long that I was ready to spend a whole week outdoors. Two, I didn't know when I planned it that I'd be stuck in a cast," she smiled sadly. "And three, I knew it would make her happy. And it made _me_ happy to think of her getting to play outside at her favorite place like she should have been."

She blinked rapidly, turning her head away from me momentarily before she faced me again with a bright smile.

"This really means so much to me, Edward. Thank you."

Her selfless honesty and love for my daughter as always continued to amaze me. I smiled at her, before movement behind her caught my eye.

"_Shit,_" I hissed, narrowing my eyes.

"What? What is it?!" she looked around, panicked.

"Nothing, I'm sorry," I sighed.

She followed my line of sight to the unassuming looking girl in a fancy lace dress strutting across the playground.

"What? Who is that?" she asked, sounding more relieved but still confused.

"Demon spawn," I muttered under my breath before plastering on a completely fake and tight smile as Cougar Extraordinaire Jane Yorkie sauntered our way in a skintight outfit that probably was very flattering on her. _Twenty years ago_. This woman was such a nuisance it was pathetic. She had more plastic in her than one of Lily's Barbies, and her child was an uncontrollable little brat that always picked on Lily, which Jane laughed off _every damn time_.

"Oh, Edward! Long time no see! I was so happy to hear your Lily was back home safe and sound," she simpered as she threw her arms around my neck. I felt Bella release my hand and her body stiffen next to mine. Pushing Jane back by the shoulders gently, I glanced at Bella, but she was entirely unaffected by Jane's presence. Her eyes were narrowed in on _the spawn_, or Heidi as her mother called her, who had approached Lily.

"Oh my goodness!" Jane exclaimed, noticing Bella for the first time. "You're Isabella Swan!" She glanced at Bella's tiara and sneered slightly, before masking it behind what could have been a smile if not for all the Botox freezing her face in place.

"It's such a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise." Bella only spared her a quick glance and tight-lipped smile, before her eyes reverted back to Lily and Heidi. Heidi was trailing behind Lily as she climbed all over the jungle gym, and whatever Heidi was saying to her was obviously irritating Lily.

"Edward," she murmured, her hands wringing in her lap.

My first instinct was to swoop in and haul Lily back home away from the brat, to shield her from any and all upsetting influences. But an unfamiliar sense of calm spread over me as I watched Lily send Heidi scathing looks in return. This was the kind of normal everyday nonsense that Lily could take care of on her own. My little girl was strong. She_ was_ irritated, but I could tell the difference between something that upset her due to her trauma versus a catty little demon-child that didn't know when to go away. This was definitely the latter.

_I can't control the universe._

Siobhan's words rang through my mind like a shot, and a short laugh escaped me. She might even fall off one of those bars and hurt herself, but she would always be okay. Because things happened like that. Those kinds of aches and pains would be what molded her into the woman I knew she would one day become. I would be here for her to dust off the wood chips and help her stand back up again if she needed me. And I wasn't alone in this anymore, either. Bella was here.

_And oh shit, Bella's about to go Mama Bear._

As I snapped out of my daze I realized my line of sight was directly blocked by Jane, who was smirking at me as she thought I was checking her out.

_Give it a rest, woman. Can't you see who I have sitting next to me?_

I peered around her just in time to see Lily on the ground and Heidi pulling her leg back quickly from obviously tripping her. When she saw Bella and me staring at her, she smiled back at us beatifically.

_Demon. Spawn._

I hadn't even blinked before Bella had pushed up from the bench, positively seething. Reaching out to grab her arm before she killed herself trying to walk on crutches across the mulch, she looked back at me questioningly. I glanced pointedly down at her cast, and she sighed in return.

"Edward, she-"

"Just wait," I urged softly.

Her expression torn, she sat back down and watched as Lily picked herself up off the ground, stuck her tongue out at Heidi, and marched away with her head high. Bella sagged in relief against me before smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry."

Shaking my head, I smiled at her. "Bella, you're looking at a man who took her to the emergency room when she got her first cold, demanding they do chest x-rays because of a stuffy nose."

"Well, that other little girl better watch it."

Laughing, I was about to respond when a throat clearing drew my attention away from her. Facing Jane, I lost all desire to be civil any longer.

"_Mrs._ Yorkie," I addressed her, emphasizing the fact that she was married, trying to remind her because she seemed to forget every time she saw a single dad at the park. "I apologize, but you found _Miss_ Swan and me in the middle of a private conversation. If you'll please excuse us…" I made no motion to move from our spot, but gave a rather obvious sideways glance and jerk of my chin toward the benches on the other side of the playground.

Her nostrils flared, but she grimaced out a smile and nod to both of us before she strutted away, wobbling slightly when one of her ridiculously high heels caught in the pavement.

Bella's hand flew up to her mouth to muffle her laugh and I buried my face in her shoulder to smother mine.

"I'm sorry," she snickered. "I know better than anyone not to laugh at someone who trips, but _God…_she's seriously a piece of work. Is that normal around here? To wear stilettos to the playground? I feel underdressed."

Snorting, I raised my head up. "It's normal for _her_. She doesn't come here to let her kid play, she comes here to hunt. Any unaccompanied male is never safe when she's around."

Bella's eyebrows rose. "So are you just especially irresistible to her, or have I gone invisible without knowing it?"

I scoffed jokingly, "Please, could you resist all this?" I motioned to myself with a flourish.

She burst out laughing, so I tried to look wounded.

"Not doing good things to my ego there, love."

Smirking, she turned back towards the playground to watch Lily wave at us from the swings.

"Your ego sounds just fine, Mr. Irresistible…C'mon, I want to go swing with Lily."

"Bella, you can't-"

She rolled her eyes, grabbing my hand and tugging me up.

"I know I can't. That's what you're for. You can push me. C'mon."

Grinning, I reached down and threw an arm around her thighs, lifting her easily and hoisting her waist up to level with my shoulders. She squealed, steadying herself with her hands on my shoulders as I started running forward to the swings.

"Lily! Look what I got! I got a Bella!"

Lily was practically vibrating with happiness, clapping and laughing on her swing.

"Yay! I always wanted one of those!"

Setting Bella down into one of the swings with a wink, I whispered into her ear.

"Me, too."

.

Between the playground and the sleepover that night, I didn't really have much planned, but it turned out that didn't matter. After lunch Bella asked if she could borrow Lily for a little bit and I agreed, thinking they wanted some quiet time to themselves. However, my suspicions were immediately roused when instead of them disappearing into the living room or asking to go upstairs, they closed themselves off in my mother's room, where I could hear random squeals emitting for the next few hours.

_Well, now I know how Bella felt when we were planning her perfect day during dinner a few nights ago. But what are they doing?_

I used the time to brush up on my medical journal reading until Jasper arrived.

"Hey, man. How's it going?" he greeted.

Closing my book, I shrugged.

"Pretty good. Spent the morning with the girls doing Bella's perfect day. But now they're with Mom plotting something, so I figured I'd catch up on some knowledge. Dr. Gerandy's agreed to give me another six weeks before I go back, and I'll have to make up the three rotations I'll miss, but I don't want to let myself get too rusty."

"Makes sense," he nodded. "So…I take it you talked to Bella?"

Smirking, I eyed him closely. "Where'd you hear something like that?"

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Right. Like Esme didn't conference call with Renee, Ali, and Rose. My ears are still ringing from all the squealing."

"Figures," I sighed. "Yeah, we talked. I'd rather you and I didn't start braiding each other's hair just yet though, Jazz. It's new, obviously, and I kind of want to keep it between her and me for now."

He lifted his hands in surrender. "Fine by me. But I'm happy for you, man. How's Lily doing?"

"Good," I hedged. "She asked Bella to come with her to the statement on Monday. And I told Bella everything about last time, too."

He hissed in a breath, rubbing his forehead anxiously. "How'd she take it?"

Shaking my head, I grimaced. "About as well as you're imagining, I'd say. I'm really fucking worried about Monday."

He nodded, contemplating.

"It…it's going to be rough, man, no two ways around it. We're going in completely blind, and while I'm fairly confident that he didn't hurt Lily during that time, because I think it would have come out by now, she was still alone with him. And we've no idea what she witnessed him do to Bella during that time. I know you remember finding Bella in those woods. There wasn't an inch of her body not bruised or cut up."

I swallowed thickly, fighting down the nausea the images in my memory stirred.

"I'm afraid of what I'll do if they both start falling apart. How can I be there for both of them?"

He stared off at a place beyond me at the wall, thinking hard.

"I don't know, man. I have a feeling it's just going to be a long day for you all around, but I don't think they'll fall apart at the same time. Everything Bella's done for Lily so far leads me to believe she'll keep herself together until she's sure Lily doesn't need her. Even after everything she's been through, she's never broken down in front of people, with the exception of panic attacks, and those are out of her control."

I smiled, remembering her last visit. "Hey, did I tell you she worked through one of her triggers during her last session? When she came home she limped straight into the kitchen with the biggest grin on her face and dropped a glass right on the floor. I had to pick my jaw off the floor right along with it."

He smiled back, clapping me on the shoulder. "That's great, man. She's recovering at a remarkable pace, she really is. Not all of her triggers will be able to be taken care of in one session, but then again, she's so damn stubborn she just might manage it. Her presence, I believe, serves as Lily's tie to reality. That may be what helps Lily get through the statement on Monday. So I don't necessarily think hearing what Lily's got to say will set her back, she'll just need time to process it and get her emotions out. They both will. And I know you love both of them, but make sure you get it out yourself. Don't let yourself avoid it by focusing on them."

Quirking my eyebrow at him, I asked, "You sure you and Siobhan don't have little meetings about my sessions?"

Laughing, he shook his head. "She's the epitome of doctor-patient confidentiality, I promise you. I just know you well."

Standing, I ran a hand through my hair. "Well, I'm ready to go break up this little secret party they've got going on. I'm in the mood for some Candyland."

.

I was tempted to eavesdrop before I knocked on the door, but as soon as my footsteps sounded in the hall, the room went completely quiet. My mom threw the door open, beaming at me with shiny eyes.

"What's going on in here?" I asked, bewildered.

She patted my cheek before grabbing her purse and walking past me. "Nothing, dear. I'll be back!"

I threw my hands up in the air and looked at Bella and Lily questioningly, but they just smiled back at me with matching innocent expressions as they sat on my parent's bed.

"I'll tickle the truth out of you," I threatened playfully, stalking forward with my hands raised in tickle claws.

Bella picked up a pillow for defense.

"Don't you dare, Edward Cullen. You'll find out when I say you find out, and not a moment before. Don't ruin our fun."

"Fine," I smirked. "But I can still tickle you!"

Lily shrieked and squealed as I chased her around the room, while Bella laughed and cheered on the bed. In that moment, it hit me that we weren't just Bella and Lily, or Bella and Edward, or Edward and Lily anymore. We were becoming our very own family of three.

.

We ordered pizzas for dinner and played Candyland in the living room while we waited for them and the rest of our family to show up. Emmett contained some sort of radar allowing him to arrive at the exact same time as the pizzas, and everyone else came shortly after. Lily plowed straight into Charlie when he walked in the door, knocking him back a couple of steps as she wrapped herself around his legs.

"Papaw Charlie! I went to the park today!"

Chuckling, he bent down to pick her up and give her a hug. I glanced at Bella, and she was biting her lip as she tried to inconspicuously wipe a tear off her cheek. Reaching under the table, I slid my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

"So cute," she whispered, smiling at me.

I nodded, turning back to them. Lily was twisting his mustache while he twitched it back and forth for her.

"So you went to a park today, did you? Well, your Papaw wants to hear all about it. Do I smell pizza?"

Wiggling out of his arms, she dragged him by the hand to the counter.

"Yep! Come eat. I went down the slide, and on the monkey bars, and all the way to the top of the jungle gym…" she carried on, telling him every key point of her day, up until we got back in the afternoon. I sagged back into my chair, disappointed, narrowing my eyes as I caught Bella smirking at me.

"I'm going to find out," I swore cockily.

"Yes, you will. Just not today," she smiled sweetly.

"Hmph," I scowled playfully, my attention turning towards my mother as she came in with some shopping bags. I moved to stand up to get a peek, but Bella's hand clapped down on my thigh.

"Honestly, Edward. For someone who likes to give surprises so much, you're really awful about receiving them."

"Ha!" Emmett barked. "If you only knew. He used to unwrap our Christmas presents every year and then rewrap them, just because he couldn't wait until the morning to see 'em. He had Alice convinced for years he could read her mind."

"Edward, Edward, Edward," she shook her head, clicking her tongue. "That's just pathetic."

Crossing my arms, I glared at both of them.

"_Emmie_, I've got tons of ammo against you as well, so you might want to watch it. And _you_," I narrowed my eyes at Bella. "Quit picking on me. Whose side are you on anyway?"

Pouting her bottom lip in mock sympathy, she stroked my cheek. "I'm so sorry. We'll stop."

"Pfft," Emmett scoffed. "He throws some goo-goo eyes at you and you go and switch sides. Way to be a traitor. What happened to being my partner in crime, B?"

She rolled her eyes, standing and grabbing her crutches.

"Quit fighting over me, I'm not a piece of meat. I'm going to go spend some time with my dad if I can get Lily to share."

.

After dinner, every female in the house disappeared into my mother's room with strict orders to keep out and to fix up the living room into our tent. It took a lot of maneuvering of furniture, but we eventually had the couches and chairs set about the room so that blankets created a fort over ten sleeping bags. With specific instructions from Lily to make enough popcorn for everyone with M&Ms mixed in, which actually sounded pretty good, we were filling bowls in the kitchen when the girls _finally_ emerged.

"All done with secrets for the evening?" I asked with raised eyebrows as Bella limped toward me, smiling as she saw the M&Ms.

"Mm-hmm," she nodded, popping one of the candies in her mouth. "You thought of everything didn't you?"

"Just followed the boss's orders. Do I even get a clue?" I begged.

"Of course. All you have to do is ask," she said plainly as she continued to stand there in silence, picking out only the blue M&Ms to eat.

"Bella."

"Yes, Edward."

"May I have a clue?" I sighed.

She placed her crutches under her arms before grinning evilly at me. "Miss Scarlett. Lead pipe. Library. There. That was three." And then she blew me a kiss with a wink and hobbled away to follow everyone into the living room, leaving me gaping behind her, facing an amused-looking Charlie.

"You'll learn in time not to bother, son," he smiled, clapping me on the back before walking after her.

.

The night was filled with laughter, pillow and popcorn fights, and absolutely _no_ movie-watching whatsoever. Lily relished being in the spotlight of everyone's attention as she bounced from pallet to pallet, talking and playing with everyone. Bella watched it all with a serene smile on her face, and I knew once again that this aspect of _her_ perfect day had nothing to do with her own happiness, and everything to do with Lily's.

Scooting closer to where she was propped up with pillows, I found her hand under the blanket.

"Hi," I murmured, earning me a sweet smile.

"Hi yourself. You have no _idea_ how bad Rose and Alice want to get me alone so they can interrogate me about you. You _have_ to protect me," she whispered.

"I'll keep you safe," I promised softly, lifting up my pinky to her. She latched onto it with a grin, mouthing 'I love you' to me before releasing it. I wanted so badly to cradle her to me, but while our family knew about us, Lily did not. And selfish though it might be, I wanted to keep this part of Bella to myself for just a little longer.

_And she'd be planning our wedding for next week._

"I believe _this_ belongs to you," Charlie grunted, laying a drowsy Lily between Bella and myself. Throwing a large duvet cover over the three of us, he stood above watching us for a moment before he nodded to me and went back to his own sleeping bag. Lily reached down and pulled Bella's and my hand up, clasping them together and then resting hers atop to keep them there.

Chuckling, I whispered, "I love you," hoping Bella knew it was meant for both of them. When I felt a light squeeze, I knew she did.

.

Saturday morning sunshine poured in too brightly through the large windows of the living room, making me squint and groan as I slowly woke up. A click made my eyes pop open to see my mother and sisters hovering above us grinning, holding a camera.

"Aww! They're so cute together!" Alice squealed, making Bella and Lily stir slightly.

"Alice! Shut up!" I hissed, still tired and achy from sleeping on the floor.

_Next time we use an air mattress._

"Oh, get over it, Edward," Rose huffed, flinging her hair over her shoulder. "It's past nine anyway, and Charlie wanted to take Bella out for the day."

I shot her a look, but she just rolled her eyes and flipped me off.

"Edward, Rosalie," my mother chided. "Dear, you really should get up. Bella and Lily need to eat."

"Besides," Alice grinned, "the sooner Bella goes out with Charlie, the sooner _we_ get her."

"Alice, leave her alone," I pled. "She doesn't need the Spanish Inquisition from you two. It hasn't even been a week. There's nothing to tell yet," I lied.

"Whatever, Romeo," Rosalie snorted. "Esme told us about that date you planned. I didn't know you had it in you, Cullen. You ought to give your brother some tips one of these days. But we're her friends, too. You have to share the Bella."

She marched off with Alice, and my mom offered me a sheepish smile before she left me to wake my girls.

.

After a lot of moans and groans, and a head-butt from Lily right to my face, I was able to corral both of them into the kitchen so they could catch the tail end of breakfast. Bella left with Charlie right after, and it was physically painful to see her leave without being able to hug or kiss her goodbye. Lily hadn't seen much of Rose or Alice all week, so she disappeared off with them to play with makeup and clothes.

The day dragged without Bella or Lily around, so I dove into my medical journals again to pass the time. Lily tired of playing with the girls eventually, but before I had the chance to grab her attention, Bella and Charlie returned. Bella was immediately hijacked by Rose and Alice, but I was too distracted by Lily's voice in the kitchen to try and rescue her.

_I didn't really stand a chance against both of them anyway._

"Papaw Charlie, can you take me to the playground?"

My heart started beating a furious tattoo against my chest as I sped towards the kitchen where Charlie was bouncing Lily on his knee at the table. Charlie read my frantic expression right away and stopped bouncing Lily for a moment.

"Little One, you just went to the park yesterday."

Lily just twirled his mustache playfully. "Yeah, but I didn't go with _you_. It's so much fun. C'mon!"

"Well, how's about we ask your daddy. Edward? You feel like another trip to the park?"

Before I could agree, Lily interrupted, irritated.

"No, I went to the park with Daddy yesterday. I wanna go with _you_ today, Papaw."

Breathing in and exhaling shakily, I tried to just think for a moment. If anyone could keep my Lily safe anywhere, it would be the Chief. We had gone the day before, and everything was fine. I knew where they were going, and if I needed to check on them, I could run there as fast as I could drive. Steeling myself, I decided to try and take this first baby step.

"Alright, Lily. You can go with Papaw Charlie. That is, if you want to take her, Charlie."

Charlie gaped at me, shocked. "Edw-"

Shaking my head at him, I interrupted. "Lily, go get your shoes on, okay?"

Oblivious to the monumental struggle within me, she hopped off Charlie's lap and ran from the kitchen, calling out behind her. ""Kay. Thanks, Daddy!"

I made my way blindly to the table, trying to steady my already rapid breathing.

"Edward, you don't have to do this. Just come with us, or follow me, or something. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, son. You don't need to prove yourself to anybody."

Shaking my head, I gripped my hair painfully tight. "No, Charlie. I have to ease up sometime. I can't keep her locked up here with me. You…you trusted me with your daughter, and I know I can trust you with mine. Just…please, can you be back in half an hour? I know that's not very long, but…"

"Me _and_ Lily will walk through that door at exactly 5:43. You have my word on that," he swore solemnly.

Lily skipped back into the kitchen, pecking my cheek before grabbing Charlie's hand and pulling him towards the door.

"Love you, Daddy!" she shouted as she pulled a grave-looking Charlie outside.

.

I tried to handle it on my own. I really did. That lasted three and a half minutes. I knew Bella was having girl time with Rose and Alice. But this was what people in relationships did, wasn't it? Right now, I knew that I needed her, that she was the only person I could think of to lean on who would understand without words what I was feeling.

Trying to tamp down my rising panic before I knocked on her door, I took a second to collect myself so I didn't freak her out the second she saw my face. Rapping quickly, I waited impatiently for someone to open it.

_I'll go through the balcony again, so help me God…_

Alice opened the door, about to say something smart until she saw the pain in my face.

"Rose," she said quietly. "Come downstairs for a minute."

Rosalie's movements hardly registered in the corner of my eye, for my focus was on Bella. Her eyes were locked on mine, and I moved towards her as if in a trance, barely hearing the door close behind me. She was sitting against the head of the bed, propped up with pillows, and I crawled in beside her, laying my head on her lap.

She immediately began running her fingers through it, waiting patiently for me to tell her what was wrong. I let her presence soothe me, trying to recall the sense of peace I felt when we were at the park yesterday. Breathing in and out slowly for several moments, I finally worked up the courage to speak.

"Lily is with Charlie at the playground."

Her hand froze for a second on my head before she resumed her stroking. I heard her inhale shakily above me, but I gave her the same courtesy she had given me and waited for her to respond.

"When are they coming back?"

"5:43," I whispered back.

She was silent for a moment, but then suddenly began talking.

"One summer, I went to visit Charlie for a whole month because my mom was going on this spirit journey, which turned out to be a gay cruise, but whatever. Anyway, he was _determined _that I would learn how to properly gut a fish. I was only seven, but…" she continued on, gifting me with this insight into her life as a child, something I'd never been fortunate to hear from her lips before. I lost myself as she narrated her story as only an author could, taking me back in time to a large lake, and a rusty boat. A young Charlie, trying to connect with a daughter he hardly knew, and a little Bella, barely older than Lily.

Just as she got to the part where Charlie had pulled her from the lake after she jumped in to save a turtle she was convinced was drowning, flailing and screaming in four-inch deep water, she stopped as abruptly as she'd begun.

"Edward. It's 5:38," she murmured softly, halting her hair-stroking.

My head shot up immediately, staring wide-eyed at the clock by her bed. She smiled gently at me, reaching her arms out in silent request for me to carry her downstairs to greet Lily.

I would do that.

But I had something I needed to do first.

I dove into her, gripping her face in my hands desperately. She swallowed my guttural moan in her lips with a gasp as she clutched my arms as tightly as her delicate little hands would allow. I tried to convey all the thanks and love I was feeling for this beautiful woman, and I hoped she could feel it. As much as I would have loved to continue that kiss until the end of time, I was acutely aware that the clock now read 5:40. Slowing our kiss, I pecked her lips once, twice, three times before she smiled against my mouth, sliding her hands up to my face and holding it with her forehead resting against mine.

"I love you. Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome. I love you," she whispered back.

"Mmm," I hummed, rubbing my nose against hers. "You ready?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded back, smiling peacefully with her eyes closed.

I pulled away and carried her downstairs, setting her into a chair at the table in the kitchen just as Charlie and Lily burst in. Fighting back tears of relief, I wanted to thank Charlie but the words couldn't come out of my mouth. I couldn't tear my eyes from Lily as I looked her over from head to toe. She was grinning with not a scratch on her, and she was _here_. Pulling her to me for a hug, she started giggling after a moment.

"Daddy, you're squishing me."

Loosening my hold but not letting go, I finally turned to face Charlie, who was sitting beside Bella.

"Thank you, Charlie."

He waved me off with a smile, but I knew he knew how important this was.

"You might have warned me about the local population, though," he muttered.

I cocked my head at him, confused. "Wha…Oh no, did you meet Mrs. Yorkie?"

"Uh, no," he shook his head. "But I did have to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with two boys."

The hair on the back of my neck immediately rose. "Boys? What boys?"

"Felix and Alec," Lily piped up. "They're my boyfriends."

"Hmph," Charlie scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest while Bella pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, trying desperately not to laugh.

_I don't see what's funny about this. She can't have boyfriends. She's my baby._

"Lily," I swallowed audibly, "What are you talking about? What boyfriends?"

"Felix and Alec," she repeated, staring at me like I'd gone stupid. "You know them, Daddy. We play with them all the times."

"Yeah, but...you can't," I sputtered, and Bella finally broke in.

"Lily, do you actually kiss your boyfriends?"

_I think my heart just stopped._

"What?! Ew! No! Kissing's gross," Lily declared, her face scrunched up sourly.

_This is good. Now these boys can live._

"And it's going to stay that way, right Lily?" Charlie demanded.

"Yeah," Lily nodded thoughtfully. "But I'm allowed to hold hands after I'm married. Papaw said."

"And you're not getting married until when?" Charlie continued.

"After college," Lily recited obediently.

At this point Bella was shaking her head back and forth, her face buried in the crook of her arm on top of the table, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

_There is nothing funny about this. Charlie is a motherfucking genius._

Raising her head finally, she wiped tears from her eyes as she faced Charlie.

"Oh, Dad. What did you do to those poor boys?"

"What needed to be done," Charlie grumbled. "I just made sure they understood appropriate behavior in the presence of a lady."

Bella sighed, rolling her eyes. "Once again, the hero saves the day. Edward, can you find my crutches for me so I can start some dinner?"

I nodded, setting Lily down finally so I could fetch them for her, trying to wrap my head around the idea of _my _Lily, _holding hands_ with a _boy_.

_Maybe when she's thirty._

_.  
_

As soon as dinner was eaten, Bella was stolen away by Rose and Alice again. Lily was exhausted from staying up so late the night before and from her visit to the park, so I put her to bed early. I knew all the guys were downstairs, but letting Lily out of the house had taken more of a toll on me than I realized once she was sound asleep.

I was in my closet changing into some sleep clothes, when the girls' muffled voices carried through the closet wall again.

"_You'll explode soon…"_

"_But what if he…"_

"_You can't say you don't need…"_

"_Of course I do! But…"_

"_We got it for you to use, not look at…"_

"_It's just a vibrator!"_

I almost fell over. Pushing aside the fact that my _sister_ was next door talking to Bella about getting off, I focused solely on the fact that _my_ Bella was next door talking about getting off. They got her a vibrator. And she wanted to use it. I was instantly rock hard.

_Oh my fuck, I'm __**so**__ not tired anymore._

I tried desperately to think of every known deflating thought my sex-addled brain could conjure up with no success. At this point I didn't think a bucket of ice would be able to get rid of the problem that was growing more and more painful by the second. Making my way to my bathroom, I triple-checked the lock to make sure no one, namely Lily, could come in.

I didn't even wait for the water to heat up, but the cold blasting down did nothing to alleviate my arousal. Pouring a generous amount of soap in my hand, I began running it up and down my length. Closing my eyes, I let my imagination take me back to the night of our date, except in my mind she didn't have a cast, and I didn't stop when she bucked into me.

_I ran my hands down her sides and she moved her hips forward, hitting my hard-on just right. Moving my hands further down, I cupped her ass and ground back into her._

_She let out this delicious cross between a gasp and a moan, and I could no longer ignore those beautiful breasts that were rubbing against my chest. Nipping down her jaw and neck, I pulled the fabric of her dress down with my teeth, continuing to grind against her as I slid a hand back up her body to feel the soft roundness of her breast. _

_I marveled at how perfectly it fit in my hand, until the gorgeous woman writhing underneath me brought me back to earth. Leaning forward slowly, I sucked her nipple into my mouth, loving the taste that was strawberries and chocolate and just something indescribably Bella._

I could feel the tightness in my stomach building rapidly, and I was tempted to slow my strokes to continue my fantasy just a little longer. Leaning heavily on my forearm against the shower wall, I could feel my orgasm coming regardless.

_Running my tongue up her chest to the hollow behind her ear, I whispered into her skin, making her shudder._

"_Does that feel good, love?"_

"_Mmm. Yes," she moaned. "More…need you."_

_She reached to grab my shirt and pulled it out of my jeans, before unbuttoning my fly quickly. She wasted no time sliding her hand down, grasping me tightly on top of my boxers, stroking the length of me, twisting her hand over my head-_

I came with force against the tile, fighting back a groan as I struggled to catch my breath. Washing the rest of my body quickly, I got out of the shower and redressed into my pajamas, relieved to still hear the girls' voices coming through the wall in my closet. I hoped the girls weren't harassing Bella too much about us, and I wanted to check on her or at the very least kiss her goodnight, but I was too afraid what I'd just done in the shower would be visible in my face.

My exhaustion crept back in, so I threw myself into bed, crashing immediately.

.

Sunday morning met me with two very bright green eyes staring unblinking at me. Taking me by surprise, I jumped back about a foot before I woke up enough to realize Lily was in bed with me.

"Whaa? Lily? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Daddy," she grinned, almost vibrating with excitement.

"Um…okay. Did you have a bad dream?"

She shook her head so quickly it was a blur of movement, her smile only widening.

I found myself laughing, even though I had no clue what was happening.

"_Okaay_. Are you going to tell me what's going on, then?"

"You gotta get up. And get dressed. Then we go downstairs," she ordered, hopping off the bed, where I saw she was already fully dressed, wearing a shirt I'd never seen before.

_Daddy's Lilybug_

"Lily? Where did you…"

If possible, she smiled even larger, running to the foot of my bed and picking up a large t-shirt.

_Lilybug's Daddy_

Running my fingers over the fabric, I felt the ironed-on letters and looked back up at her. She was still beaming, but clearly getting impatient.

"Okay, okay. I'll get dressed and then we'll go downstairs."

She nodded firmly. "Good. Hurry up."

She ran out of my room, slamming my door behind her. I dressed as fast as I could, skipping a shower since I'd already taken care of that last night. Lily was waiting just outside my room and her happiness was contagious. Grinning, I picked her up and pounded down the stairs.

"Where to, Lilybug?"

"Kitchen, Daddy," she declared.

Striding forward into the kitchen with no idea what to expect, I was amused to find the kitchen empty, except for the table that was set with Lily's teacups and a large plate of muffins.

"It's your perfect day, Daddy!" she exclaimed proudly.

My jaw dropped and my brow furrowed as I tried to understand what she could be talking about. That was her and Bella's thing. I didn't have a perfect day.

She wriggled out of my arms and led me to the table, where she gave me a teacup and a muffin.

"I don't understand, Lily. What? Who?"

She giggled, rolling her eyes and sitting down next to me.

"It was Bella's idea, Daddy. That's our secret. I can tell you now. She let me help plan it and she made the shirts for us 'cause she didn't think you'd like crowns," she frowned.

"Umm," I laughed lightly, "she was probably right about the crowns. Daddies don't really wear crowns. So where is Bella?"

"She's with Papaw Charlie. She said they'll be back later, but today's just you an' me," she smiled sweetly before biting into her muffin.

Peeling back the paper from my own, I gave her a quick kiss before tucking in.

.

As soon as we were finished, Lily pulled a piece of folded paper out of her pants pocket and handed it to me.

Taking it from her curiously, I opened it.

"Lily? What is…"

_~Where words fail, music speaks~_

_·Go have a conversation·_

Looking up at Lily, she was waiting expectantly by my side.

"So? Where do we go? Bella wouldn't tell me everything."

Reading the note again, the only place I could think of was my piano, so I took Lily by the hand and led her cautiously to the music room. As we approached the piano, I saw a beginner's book resting on the bench.

"Is that for me?" Lily squealed.

Picking up the book, I opened it reverently, feeling a sting in my eyes as I read the inscription.

_A Little Thing I know once told me how excited she was for her Daddy to teach her piano. Here's to the start of many lessons. Love, Bella_

"Daddy?"

Smiling down at her, I nodded, unable to speak at the moment. Setting the book atop the piano, I helped Lily settle onto the bench beside me.

"You ready for your first piano lesson, Lilybug?"

.

If I didn't know for an absolute fact that Bella didn't actually give birth to Lily, there would have been no question where she got her stubbornness from. The only break we took was for me to play the song I had written for her as a baby, and then it was right back to learning. I watched with pride as she concentrated _so_ hard on each note, furrowing her little brow and biting her lip, just like Bella. She vehemently refused to give up until the first lesson was completed and she could find middle C with no coaching and play _Jingle Bells_ all the way through. She wanted to keep going, but when she turned the page, a second note fell down.

Her lesson all but forgotten, Lily jumped off the bench and picked up the paper off the ground, handing it to me with a grin. I felt my own face break out into a grin as well, my heartbeat picking up as I wondered what Bella had in store for us next.

_~We do not remember days, we remember moments. The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten~_

_·Go remember something special·_

Beaming down at Lily, I tossed her over my shoulder and ran into the living room, where sure enough, her baby album was laying in wait for us on the couch. She giggled like a hyena as I threw her down onto the cushions, wasting no time to crawl into my lap as soon as I sat down.

"Hey! That's me when I was a baby!" Lily clapped, pointing at the picture of her toothless smile on her little round face that decorated the cover.

"It is," I whispered, rubbing the picture with my thumb. I hadn't let myself look at her baby pictures since before she was taken. Opening the album, I smiled down at Lily's first picture, her sonogram.

"Daddy, that does _not_ look like me," she giggled, squinting to try and find a baby instead of the bean she once was.

"Yes it was," I teased, tickling her tummy. "When you were just a little Lilybug."

.

We flipped through every page, stopping to retell stories of how some pictures came to be, remembering special events and smiles I had almost forgotten as the years passed. Once we reached the end, another folded note was waiting.

_~Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit~_

_·My wit's gone dry. Go to the pantry·_

Laughing out loud, I set the album aside and stood with Lily on my hip.

"Where we goin' now, Daddy?"

"The pantry," I replied, wondering if Bella would be there waiting for us. Upon opening the door though, I found instead a large picnic basket just inside. Picking up the basket and blanket underneath it, I got the hint.

"Lily, you want to have lunch in the backyard?"

She nodded excitedly, running out the door to find the perfect grassy spot for our blanket. I followed quickly behind her, laying the blanket down where she pointed. I was amazed it was already time for lunch, but Lily's stomach growl assured me it was. Opening the basket, I began pulling out sandwiches, chips, and juice boxes for Lily and myself. Underneath the food was a journal of some sort that I set aside for after we ate.

After we were done, I tossed all the trash back inside the basket and laid down on the blanket, where Lily curled up beside me, burrowing her head into my shoulder.

"Is that more clues, Daddy?" she yawned.

"I don't know," I mused, opening the book curiously, wholly unprepared for what I found hand-written inside.

_The Adventures of Lily: Princess of Pink, Bella: Princess of Blue, and Edward: Prince of Green_

"What's it say, Daddy? That's my name," she pointed, more awake now.

"It's your stories," I gasped, completely taken aback at how much effort and thought Bella had put into creating this day for us. For me.

I turned the title page and started reading the first story, the one I'd heard in the hospital about yellow bunnies and jeweled castles in the kingdom of colors. Lily was absolutely thrilled to have a whole book of her own stories, even though it was clear Bella had helped add in words here and there to make complete sentences. Each story was only a few paragraphs long, some a bit longer than others. They mostly centered on Lily, which made her ecstatic.

"I never knew you had this many," I marveled, closing the book gently, tucking it tightly to my chest.

"Bella asked me about a bunch on her perfect day," Lily slurred, nuzzling deeper into me.

I let her go to sleep, starting the journal over from the beginning, drinking in every little detail, recognizing the parts where Bella's literary voice joined Lily's. My eyelids drooped against my best efforts to stay awake while I was reading the tale of Prince Edward sailing across the ocean with Princess Lily to find Princess Bella's fairy dust.

.

Raindrops beginning to fall woke us abruptly, and Lily ran ahead inside while I quickly grabbed the blanket, basket, and book before running in after her. All of my family was congregated around the table while my mom worked on dinner at the counter, where Lily was already helping mix ingredients in a bowl. I moved around them, cleaning up our picnic mess, and ran upstairs for a moment to set the book in my room. Next to Lily's baby album, it had instantly become my most prized possession.

A beautiful laugh carried upstairs, and my heart began pumping twice as hard at the sound. Racing back down to the kitchen, the only person I could see in that moment was standing by the backdoor, shaking the rain out of her curls as she laughed at something someone had said. When she caught my eye, she smiled shyly at me, as if she were gauging my reaction to everything she did.

I stalked forward, unable to stay away from her a moment longer. With one arm wrapped around her tiny waist and my other hand fisted in the nape of her neck, I kissed her with everything I had in me. There would never be anyone else for me but this woman. As I devoured her, I lost touch with where I was, who was around us. Nothing else mattered in that moment but showing my Bella _how much_ she meant to me, _how much_ what she did meant to me.

What she'd done was so much more than what I'd tried to do for her with our date and her perfect day. She knew me better than I knew myself, knew I needed to reconnect with my baby, even when I didn't know how to say it. She made an entire day pass in the blink of an eye, distracting me from the grueling day to come. By helping me create new memories with my Lily, she had unconsciously inserted herself into every one of them, cementing her place in our family. That was something I would hold onto until I took my dying breath.

When I'd used up every last ounce of oxygen within me, I released her lips, holding her upright as she stared back at me, dazed. I was panting like I'd just run a marathon, and she was doing the same. Just before I could move forward to capture her lips once more, I was finally reminded we had an audience. Specifically, a very small, very, _very_, happy Little Thing.

"Yyyyyyyyessss!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

.

**A/N: As always, reviews get teasers. Next part up as soon as I can finish it.**

**Where words fail, music speaks- Hans Christian Andersen**

**We do not remember days, we remember moments. The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten- Cesare Pavese**

**Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit- Oscar Wilde**


	27. Chapter 27 Laid To Rest

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Thanks as always for your reviews. It was amazing that you guys pushed over 9k last chapter. I remember telling EBT way back when, I just hoped I could get a dozen people on alert. Thanks for your patience with me getting this chapter up. I decided to post tonight in honor of Mother's Day.  
**

**I'm so lucky Bellamarie117 doesn't charge by the comma, because I'd be broke as a joke. Thanks Fantasy Mother for being a star pre-reader. And thank you to Alicedances for being my Twilight beta. I've started posting over there as well, although I'm only up to Chapter 3 so far. Thanks to songster for looking this over for me as well.  
**

**To my brother: Alright, you little fucker. I **_**told**_** you not to read it. And you fucking read it anyway. So if you decide to read the scene after the living room, I don't want to know about it. Regardless of the fact I have found your condom stash twice now, I would like to live in denial and pretend you are a monk. Thinking otherwise messes with my sleep. **

**Warning: Discussion of violence in this chapter. Get the Kleenex ready.**

Chapter 27: Laid to Rest

EPOV

"_Yyyyyyyyessss!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

Bella's eyes widened comically big on her small heart-shaped face as I pressed my lips together, trying to keep from either laughing or whimpering, I wasn't really sure which. Our family was situated around the kitchen, everyone frozen in time. Keeping Bella in my arms, I slowly turned us to face Lily. She stood by the counter, grinning from ear to ear with her fists pumped into the air in a triumphant V.

Not really sure where to start, I let Lily do the leading.

"You just kissed Bella."

Keeping my face neutral, I nodded slowly.

"Does that mean you're her boyfriend?"

We hadn't really put a label on it, to me she was so much more than just a girlfriend, but I couldn't think of what else to call myself. Again, I nodded.

"Do you love her like Prince Eric loves Ariel?"

My lips twitching upward, I nodded once more as I felt Bella quake in silent laughter. Lily turned her focus onto her.

"Do you love my Daddy?"

Bella didn't hesitate to nod.

Lily stood there staring at both of us for what felt like minutes, maybe even hours, as we waited for her to process this. She was the only person on the planet I would give up Bella for, though it would kill me inside. I needed to know this was okay with her.

"This. Is. _Awesome_!!!" she shouted, barreling straight for us, knocking Bella back into me as Lily wrapped herself around Bella's uninjured leg. I laughed in relief as I reached around Bella, pulling Lily up with one arm, while keeping my other wrapped around Bella. With Lily resting her head on one side of my chest and Bella on the other, all of our arms fit around each other just perfectly. I closed my eyes and took what felt like the first breath of the rest of my life.

My parents were the best I could have asked for, and I never envied my brother's and sister's happiness, but this was something different. This was everything I could ever have dreamed to hope for myself, and then even more. Everything out in the open, I could hardly contain my relief and happiness as I held my life in my arms.

_This is all mine._

_My family._

"This is the best day ever," Lily sighed happily into my neck.

I felt Bella's lips curl upward against my chest and I kissed them both on the top of their heads before loosening my grip around them. Finally looking around at our family in the kitchen, I was unsurprised to see my mother sobbing tears of joy, her hold on her camera shaky at best. My father had his arm around her shoulders, with an amused smile for her, but pure happiness shining in his eyes for me. For us. For my family.

Alice and Rose were sniffling messes, curled into their respective husbands. Jasper and Emmett gave me their manly nods of approval as I finally reached the last person in the room. With more than a little embarrassment, I realized belatedly that Charlie had been standing right next to us when I had attacked his daughter's mouth. He didn't look angry like I might have expected, but rather…_wistful_?

Keeping his eyes locked on mine, he nodded firmly, swallowing visibly. "You hold onto what you've got there, Edward."

At the sound of his voice, Bella pulled her face up from my chest and looked at him, giving him a watery smile.

"Well, um," he coughed, clearing his throat. "As I was saying, er, a minute ago, I've got to be on my way."

Smiling up at me, Bella stroked the heat away from my face. "Charlie's stopping by Port Angeles on the way to Forks. He and Sue are going to have a dinner date."

"_You have a date?!! Oh Charlie, I'm so happy for you! Phil! Did you hear that, honey? Charlie's got a date…No, I don't know…Where'd you meet her, Charlie?"_

"Mom?" Bella questioned, looking around the kitchen, her eyes landing on my mother who was holding up her phone a few feet away from us. She was still leaking tears of joy, but she'd managed to get a hold of herself enough to get Renee on speakerphone.

"_Hi, sweetie! Oh, we miss you so much! Though it sounds like you've been busy. I hope you're being safe, Bella, all those medications can really mess with the effectiveness of the P-"_

"Mom!" Bella shouted, mortified. "Would you like to say hi to Lily? She's _right here_," she spat through clenched teeth, her face red from either anger or embarrassment or both. Charlie wasn't looking much better. I could hear Emmett behind us snickering.

Renee didn't miss a beat, carrying on like she wasn't just discussing birth control in front of my four-year old daughter.

"_Oh, hi sweetie! Your Nana Renee has so many seashells to give you when I see you in a couple of weeks. I've got all different sizes so we can make jewelry and paint them; it's going to be wonderful."_

"That's so cool, Nana. Bella's my daddy's girlfriend now!"

Renee laughed lightly through the phone.

"_I know, sweetie. Me and Baseball Phil miss you so much. You go have dinner now, and I'll talk to you again soon!"_

"'Kay. Bye, Nana."

"_Charlie, are you still there?"_

"Yeah," he grunted, still a bit red in the face.

"_Good luck on your date. I hope we get to meet her when we come back into town. I hope you've shaved recently, and make sure you don't put on too much cologne. Open her door for her, I bet she'll love that, and-"_

"Gotta go, Renee. See you next Friday."

"_Alright, alright. Bye, Charlie. I love you, Bella."_

"Love you, too, Mom," Bella croaked as she glared at Emmett, whose face was red with the effort it was taking him not to burst out laughing.

My mom turned off the speakerphone and left my dad to fend for dinner as she scampered off to her room to continue her conversation with Renee. Charlie walked over to Emmett and popped the back of his head briskly once before coming back over to give Bella and Lily kisses on the cheek goodbye.

"Ow! Dammit, Charlie, I didn't even say anything!"

Charlie leveled him with the _Chief_ stare. "You were thinkin' it, boy; don't even try to deny it."

My arms were full of Lily and Bella so I couldn't shake his hand, but he nodded to me with a proud smile before waving goodbye to my father and leaving out the back. Bella seemed to be handling it much better as he left this week, but I checked her face closely to make sure she was really alright. Her returning smile was blinding as she shook her head to my unasked question.

"I'm happy for him. And I don't feel so alone this time," she added quietly, blushing.

I squeezed her once more before sliding Lily down so I could help Bella to the table. Lily looked like she was ready to burst, but I wanted to hold off the attack for as long as possible.

"Lilybug, we'll talk in the living room after dinner, okay?"

Lily nodded and grinned once more at us excitedly before bounding over to the counter to help my dad with dinner. Emmett was just waiting for the kill.

"So, B. You _are_ being safe, right? You might have to help Eddie out; it's been a while for him. I've got some informative videos the two of you could watch-"

Rose smacked him with enough force to move his head forward a few inches, and he yelped, scowling down at her.

"Don't look at me like that, you big oaf! First of all, _Lily_ is still in the room, and unless you want to have to answer her questions, you'd better shut up. Second of all, he seems to be doing just _fine_ figuring this out on his own. When was the last time you went to that much trouble for a date for me? Or walked into a room and kissed me like that? I think _you're_ the one that needs the help, not the other way around," she snapped, her eyes fierce.

"Rosie, baby, don't be like that! I'll kiss you like that right now if you want me to…"

"Don't even try it," she hissed, turning her back on him to face Alice, who was nodding her head in agreement with Rose.

"Seriously," Alice sniffed. "Now that we're married you guys don't even try anymore."

Jazz's jaw dropped as he tried to find out what he did wrong. I sank into a chair next to Bella to watch. This was priceless.

"Ali, babe, what are you talking about? We've got the anniversary of our first date, our engagement, our wedding, Valentine's Day, your birthday, Christmas…" he shook his head in bewilderment before turning on me. "Thanks a lot, man."

I held my hands up in surrender with an evil smile on my face. "Don't blame me, Jazz. I just, you know, _care_."

Emmett narrowed his eyes at me menacingly. "Laugh it up now, bro. Don't come cryin' to us the first time you mess it up. Couldn't've just done dinner and a movie, could you? Had to go and make the rest of us look bad," he sighed. Slowly, he stood, breathing in and out once as if steeling himself for something. "Well, there's only one thing left to do, then."

Bending down, he picked Rosalie out of her chair with ease, tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Ladies, gentlemen, Eddie. See you Tuesday. I've got some lovin' to do. If you'll excuse us," he disappeared out through the back door, completely ignoring Rose's high-pitched squeals that were slowly giving way to laughter.

Alice raised her eyebrow at Jasper as if daring him to try and copy Emmett's move, but he simply leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Whatever he said made my baby sister blush and giggle, her previous unhappiness with him seconds before completely forgotten.

_Ew._

_.  
_

Once my mom finally finished her gossip session with Renee, she emerged and the family ate together quickly. Lily was dying to get Bella and me alone, and Alice and Jasper were obviously in a hurry to get home themselves.

_I can't even think about that. That's almost as bad as Lily having a boyfriend._

Since Bella and I hadn't been planning on letting Lily know about our relationship yet, I wasn't sure how we were going to handle whatever questions she might have. We hadn't even gotten to go see Siobhan yet. Not to mention the fact that at that moment, I wanted to get the chance to properly…_thank_ Bella for everything she'd done today.

_From head to toe thank her._

Making myself calm down, I took a seat next to Bella on the couch to face the firing squad. Lily was bouncing in her little beanbag chair in front of us, the smile not having left her face since an hour ago.

"So, Daddy."

Intertwining my fingers with Bella's, we began.

"Yes, Lily."

"Are you and Bella gonna have a baby?"

Bella's eyes nearly popped out of her head as her entire face went brick red. I choked and sputtered on air for a solid five minutes before my watery eyes were able to focus on Lily, who was staring at us intently, waiting on an answer. I felt Bella breathe in shakily beside me before she started to stutter out a reply.

"Um…Lily? Daddy and I just started being boyfriend and girlfriend. And grownups are boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time before they decide to get married and have babies."

Lily squinted at Bella, thinking hard on something. "Yeah, but when you have a baby, what happens to me?"

Bella sighed again, her hold on my hand nearly cutting off my circulation, but I was not brave enough to try this conversation. With my luck, if I opened my mouth, she'd want to know where babies came from.

"_If_ your Daddy and I ever had a baby, he or she would be your brother or sister. And we would all live together. Nothing could ever make us stop loving you. We love you, always."

Lily seemed satisfied with that answer, nodding to herself. "So how long until you can be married?"

I felt Bella's body whimper next to mine, and I tried to squeeze her hand in reassurance, but I was slowly losing feeling in my fingers due to her death grip. Slowly prying her fingers loose with my other hand, I met Lily's appraising eye.

"Lily…we…when…I just…"

_Shit. I've got nothing._

Bella closed her eyes briefly, breathing in and out for a couple of seconds. When she opened them, I caught a glimpse of determination in her eye before she leaned closer to Lily, motioning her forward. Once Lily was situated on her lap facing both of us, Bella started talking.

"Lily, do you know if it's going to rain next Thursday?"

Lily shook her head, and Bella nodded in understanding, pushing Lily's little bronze curls out of her face as she continued.

"Well, just like we can't predict the weather, we can't know what's going to happen with your daddy's and my relationship. What I _do_ know is that no matter what happens between your daddy and me, we will always love you, and we'll always be here for you. Whether that's as friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, or married is something that's between him and me, and it doesn't change how we love you. So I don't want you to worry about it, okay?"

_She's a natural._

Lily beamed, throwing her arms around both of our necks, hugging us in a chokehold.

"I'm not worried. I can wait for you to get married," Lily replied dreamily, causing Bella to heave a slightly exasperated sigh. When Lily pulled back, Bella was looking at her adoringly, shaking her head gently.

"So, Lily," Bella smiled mischievously. "What did you do today?"

Lily jumped off her lap in a flash, pointing to our shirts, as if Bella didn't know.

"We had our perfect day, Bella! And it was so much fun! How'd you know I had baby pictures?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

We both burst out laughing, mine more relief than anything that the inquisition was over for now.

"Your Nana Esme helped me," Bella admitted. "But I never looked at them, I just hid your clue. Would you like to show them to me?"

"No!" I shouted, taking all three of us by surprise. It had taken me hours to try and figure out a birthday present for her, and I had finally decided on an album of her own of Lily. Looking at her pictures a week and a half ahead of time would seriously steal my thunder. Both Bella and Lily were looking at me incredulously, though Bella looked more hurt than anything.

_Shit. Way to go, douche._

"Uh….I was hoping Lily could play for you first. Since that was how the order of the day went," I lied lamely. But Bella brightened immediately, so it didn't matter.

"Yes! C'mon, guys! Bella, I can play _Jingle Bells_! All by myself!" she called as she ran to the music room, leaving us behind in the dust. As soon as she was out of sight, Bella smacked my arm, hard.

"Ow!" I laughed, even though for all her strength she really had the force of an angry kitten. "What was that for?"

She tried to glare, but I could see the smile in her eyes and the corners of her lips twitching. "That was for hanging me out to dry with all that 'have a baby and get married' business."

"But..._love_-" I tried, but she wasn't having it.

"Don't you '_love'_ me. I should have just told her we were getting married next year to get her off my back," she threatened, but didn't get the result she was hoping for. Images of Lily throwing petals down a narrow aisle as Bella trailed behind her walking towards me in white flashed across my mind, not for the first time, but I pushed them out as quickly as they came.

_At least take her on a second date first, Cullen._

Using every tactic in my rusty flirtatious arsenal, I let some of my hair fall in my face as I ducked my head and offered her a lop-sided smile. Reaching up slowly, I rubbed her neck, _accidentally_ brushing against the spot I'd discovered recently with my thumb. Just as she started to melt, she caught onto my act and pushed me away half-heartedly.

"Damnit, Edward! Quit dazzling me. I'm _trying_ to be mad at you right now," she complained unconvincingly, and I could almost taste victory. Leaning in slowly, I nuzzled her neck, dropping light kisses along her throat.

"Dazzle you? I'm not dazzling you? I'm _loving_ you," I argued, brushing my lips back and forth against her ear.

"But…you…ah…" she protested weakly.

"And if you're _mad_ at me," I whispered, smiling into her skin as I felt her shudder, "I can't do _this_." Running my hands up her sides, I brought her closer to me, pressing harder kisses into her skin, working my way up to her jaw, until my mouth was on top of hers, breathing in the air she exhaled. Teasing her lips with mine, I pulled back every time she tried to move forward.

"Uh-uh. You're mad at me, remember?" I teased, dusting my lips across hers but not _quite_ touching.

"Mmm. What?" she gasped, her cheeks beautifully flushed and her eyes closed in concentration.

Chuckling lightly, I pulled back, though it was physically painful to do so, just as Lily started banging on the piano across the house. She opened her eyes lazily, recovering her surroundings slowly before she shook out of her daze and gaped at me.

"What…Why…What?" she stuttered.

"We have a little girl waiting to give her first recital. I just couldn't go in there with you mad at me. But…" I trailed off, leaning forward once more to capture her lips gently. "After she's in bed, I'd like it if you and I could…_talk_ a little more."

She laughed lightly as she pulled back, smirking at me playfully. "Is that what they're calling it now? _Talking_?"

"There was some talking in there somewhere," I grinned, helping her up so we could go to Lily, who was yelling for us at the top of her lungs.

.

Because Lily was ridiculously stubborn and wouldn't accept any help from me, we sat through several off-key renditions of _Jingle Bells_ before she finally figured it out. We dutifully clapped through each one until it was Lily's bedtime. That was the first night Bella and I tucked Lily into bed together. Every moment I saw Bella with my daughter, I fell in love with her all over again.

Over the last couple of hours listening to Lily play, Bella and I were constantly touching. Our hands intertwined, my arm around her, her hand resting on my thigh, all innocent, but slowly driving me to distraction. The pull I felt towards her was almost magnetic, uncontrollable, and I needed to rein myself in before I pushed her too far.

Resigning myself to telling her good-night at the door to keep myself in check, I hovered awkwardly, warring with myself over the best way to proceed.

_Hug goodnight? That'll just confuse the hell out of her._

_Kiss on the cheek? Too formal._

_Kiss on the lips? If it's close-mouthed only, there's no danger of hormonal takeover._

Two warm hands on either side of my face brought me back to the present as she pulled me to her, her eyes focused on my mouth. Every thought flew out of my head the second our lips met, all the hunger I had felt for her earlier rushing back to me. Slowly, I uncurled my fists from my sides and wrapped my hands around her slender hips, squeezing her tightly as I lost myself in her kiss.

And then her hands wove into my hair and she pulled. Hard.

Before I could realize what I was doing, I had swept her up and carried her inside her room, kicking the door shut behind me. I continued to kiss her hungrily as I stalked forward, laying her down gently on her bed. Only pulling back when the need for oxygen became unbearable, my wits slowly returned to me as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Bella," I panted, sitting up immediately, looking over her worriedly. "I'm sorry. I got carried away, we don't have to do anything, I didn't mean to scare you-"

"Edward," she sighed. "You didn't scare me. I wasn't complaining."

I shook my head, frustrated. "No, you don't understand, I didn't even realize what I was doing; I was so lost in you-"

"Do you think it's any different for me?" she asked, sounding frustrated as well. "I've never felt like this before either, Edward. You make me forget where I am, my own name, sometimes I forget how to _breathe_. But you've got to trust me like I trust you, Edward. I trust you to stop if I tell you to, and you need to do the same."

A hundred different emotions coursed through me as my eyes met the fierce gaze that held me captive. She was right, of course. It never even occurred to me that she felt as strongly for me as I did for her, which was completely unfair. We were both new to this, learning it together as we went. As she read the understanding that slowly dawned on my face, her eyes began to shine with an evil glint.

"Besides," she smirked, cocking her eyebrow at me. "Do you really think I don't know what I'm doing when I pull your hair?"

_Oh, game on, Isabella._

Leaning down, I went straight for her neck, causing her to gasp in surprise, which quickly morphed into a light moan. Running my hands down her arms, I wound my fingers with hers, pulling away from her neck for a second to kiss her scar. I raised her arms above her head, brushing my lips along the shell of her ear.

"Bella?" I whispered before dragging my tongue down her neck to her collarbone.

"Hmm? _Oh,_" she moaned as I bit down on her clavicle lightly. Pulling her hand in mine down to her side, I kissed my way back up to her ear.

"You have to show me what you want, Beautiful. Take my hands where you want them to go."

Her eyes flew open and she gasped. "I don't…I can't…What do _you_ want?"

Kissing along her throat where dark bruises once marred her porcelain skin, I chuckled evilly.

"What _I _want isn't possible with that cast on, love. What _I _want won't be happening in a house full of people. At least not the first time. You say you forget your name? I want to make sure you remember _mine_," I growled into her skin. Nipping and kissing my way up the other side of her neck, I whispered, "I want to hear you say my name when I make you come, Isabella."

She shuddered beneath me, and I hid my smirk in the hollow behind her ear.

_Bella likes dirty talk. Fucking. Excellent._

"Show me, Bella," I whispered, pleading. "Show me how you like to be touched. Let me love you."

"Kiss me," she begged softly, and my lips found hers immediately. As she opened her mouth to me, she slowly began shakily bringing our hands up to her breast. When my hand found purchase on the perfectly soft roundness there, I swallowed her moan greedily. Pulling back and watching her eyes intently for any signs of discomfort, I began to carefully unbutton her shirtdress, popping each button slowly.

I kept my eyes on hers as I lowered my head to her chest, where I pressed one firm kiss directly above the heart that almost stopped beating once, the heart that would own me for the rest of my life.

"I love you," I whispered before I began kissing the soft flesh above her bra. It was simple and cotton and yellow and the sexiest thing I'd ever seen as I watched her chest move up and down while she breathed heavily beneath me.

"I love you, too. So much," she said hoarsely, right as I nudged the cup of her bra down with my nose and brought her nipple into my mouth. I took my time, worshipping each one with my lips and tongue and teeth as I found her hand again, pulling it with mine to lie on top of her waist. Tentatively, she slid our hands down to the apex of her thighs where I could feel the heat radiating through the thin material of her tights.

With my fingers next to hers, I stroked gently at first, pressing down more firmly when she ground against my hand. She keened softly, and I raised my head up to watch her lose herself.

She was a vision.

Her hair was fanned out behind her head, her eyes closed tightly. Her lips were slightly parted as she panted, her dress completely open and her breasts spilled out of her bra and heaving with each breathy moan. One hand clenching the sheets above her head, the other worked in tandem with mine to bring her to ecstasy.

"I can't believe you're mine. God, Bella. You are so beautiful," I whispered in amazement. Nothing I had imagined held a candle up to the reality of watching her slowly come undone. Moving my fingers in faster circles around her clit, her breathing picked up and her eyes flew open.

"Oh, God. Oh, _fuck_. Please…please…" she moaned.

Sensing she was getting close, I pulled her neck up slightly to kiss her, which she returned with harsh intensity. My lips never left her skin as I trailed kisses up and down her neck.

"Please what, Bella? Do you want me to make you come? Tell me what you want," I demanded, sucking on her neck, feeling her skin vibrate as she moaned.

"Are you going to come for me, Beautiful? I want to hear you say it. Out. Loud. Say it," I snarled into her throat.

"Yes. _Yes._ Edward!" she gasped, her back arching and her body stiffening as I felt a rush of wetness and heat hit my hand. I held her as her orgasm washed over her, setting her back gently as she sagged and came down. As she tried to regain her breath, she shakily brought our hands up to rest on her stomach.

"Lay down with me?" she panted after a moment, tugging me weakly toward her. Swinging my legs around, I obliged, disappointed when I saw she had fixed her bra and pulled her dress back over her slightly.

_I wasn't done with those yet._

She turned into me though, and nuzzled my neck, dropping sweet kisses onto my skin as she fisted my shirt in her little hands.

"I love you," she murmured, tickling me slightly with her lips.

"I love you bac-_ah!_" I cut off, surprised as I felt her hands drift down and her fingers dance above my waistband. "Bella, you don't have to do that-"

"Do what, Edward?" she asked innocently. "I just wanted to _talk_. You remember, earlier? When we were _talking_? I was trying to be upset with you, and you weren't playing fair."

_Oh shit._

"Um…Bella…I wasn't trying to be mean-"

"Off," she commanded softly, pushing my t-shirt up. As I tossed it over my head she raked her nails down my ribs, making me hiss.

"_Fuck_," I breathed. I tried to wrap my arms around her, but she pulled away, shaking her head.

"Oh no, Edward. You had your turn to play. Now it's mine. Keep your hands to yourself, please."

"_Bella_," I groaned, clenching my eyes shut as she bit my chest and palmed me through my jeans.

"Yes, Edward?" she asked, completely unaffected.

"I…_fuck_…um…I really _am_ sorry…oh, shit," I choked out as she tugged my button-fly down with ease, running her hand down my dick on top of my boxers.

"That wasn't very nice of you, Edward," she crooned, gripping me in her hand. I could hear the pout in her voice as she began moving her hand up and down. "You got me all worked up and then just stopped."

"But…Lily…piano…_fuck_," I stuttered, unable to string words together, my hands twitching at my sides, aching to touch her. She hovered right beside me, ghosting her lips over my neck.

"All I could think about for the last two hours was kissing you. Kissing you and never stopping."

I tried to turn my head to capture her mouth, but she pulled away just out of reach.

"Kiss me now," I begged, my eyes darting between hers and her lips frantically. "Don't stop. _God._ Don't stop."

"Mmm," she hummed, quirking her eyebrow at me. She kept her movements below fluid, bringing me closer and closer with every stroke. "I need to make sure you won't tease me like that again. Every time you touched me over the last few hours, all I could think about was having your hands on my skin, getting to taste yours. Do you promise not to tease me again, Edward?"

"_Yes_. Fuck, yes. Please let me touch you. I _need_ to feel you," I pled, close to losing all control. She didn't answer verbally, but as soon as she leaned down and brushed her lips against mine, my hands flew up to grip her face. I held her tightly against me, kissing her with everything I had in me until she was breathless. My eyes drifted closed as I felt myself nearing my end, trying desperately to hold it back. Bella kissed along my jaw, up and down my throat, licking and biting as she went.

"Are you close? Do you like my hand on you?" she murmured, her breath hot against my neck. "I've thought of this, you know. And putting my mouth on you. I want to taste you _everywhere_, Edward."

"Jesus _fuck_," I whimpered as my brain was assaulted by images of Bella with her lips wrapped around me. Her grip tightened as she sped her movements, taking me to the edge.

"I can't wait to take you inside of me," she whispered, and that was it. Stars exploded behind my eyelids as I came hard, blindly seeking out her lips and kissing her passionately as I rode out my orgasm.

"_Fuck_," I groaned into her mouth as aftershocks pulsed through me. She released her hold on me, bringing her arm up to curl around my neck as I recovered, laying on my chest as I panted heavily and came down from the first non-self-induced orgasm I'd had in over five years.

_And she really does feel so much better than my hand._

"Wow," she mumbled, pressing a kiss onto my chest.

"Yeah," I panted, nodding in agreement, eloquent as ever. "I…uh…need to go…" I motioned towards my lower half, and she blushed furiously as she nodded quickly.

"Right, okay…Can you…will you come back?" she asked meekly, and I might have found it amusing to see her go so quickly from sex-kitten to shy girl if she didn't look so unsure of herself.

"Of course!" I exclaimed, kissing her deeply. "Of course I will, love. Just give me a couple of minutes. Do you need any help getting ready for bed?"

She blushed even brighter, glancing around the room. "Well…um…I don't know what happened to my crutches," she giggled nervously. "Could you help me to the bathroom before you go and hand me something to sleep in?"

Smiling at her bashfulness, I stroked the blush in her cheek with the pad of my thumb. "I'll carry you and let you get ready while I, uh, clean up."

She nodded shyly, pushing herself off of me as I gingerly stood, trying not to grimace from the mess sticking to my skin under my boxers. I left her in the bathroom to go through her routine, rushing back to my room to clean up as fast as possible. A shower would have been nice, but that would have taken too long. I washed as thoroughly as I could with a wet washcloth and changed into some sleepwear before grabbing an extra t-shirt for Bella.

_I'll just say I don't know where her sleep clothes are._

Walking quickly back to her room, I grabbed her crutches from the hall so she would have them in the morning. I knocked on her door prepared to hand her the shirt so she could change inside, but was instead shocked when she opened the door fully, revealing herself clad in only her matching yellow cotton bra and boyshorts. Only a faint pink scar remained where I had inserted her groin catheter, the sight of it proving as a stark reminder of how delicate yet strong she truly was.

Tossing the shirt on the counter, I dropped to my knees in front of her. She gasped as I leaned forward slowly, cautiously gauging her reaction as I brought my lips forward to kiss the mark. Running my hands up her legs, I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her tightly as she ran her fingers through my hair gently. Pulling back, I looked up at her and saw her eyes shining as she smiled down at me.

"Every part of you, Bella."

"You're beautiful too, Edward."

Standing up carefully to keep her from losing her balance, I kept my eyes locked on hers as I grabbed the shirt, slipping it over her head as she pushed her arms through. She was completely swimming in it, but when I caught a glimpse of my last name on her back in the mirror, I had to resist the urge to toss her over my shoulder and declare her mine before dragging her back to my cave. She looked it over with raised eyebrows, cocking her head at me questioningly. Smiling smugly, I pulled her to me, lifting her up and carrying her to bed.

"I've been dying to get my name on your back since the first time you bit your lip and blushed," I whispered, kissing her temple before releasing her onto the mattress.

Like an uncontrollable tic, she immediately blushed and bit her lip, releasing it with a pop when she realized what she'd done.

"Do you need anything else, love?" I grinned.

"Um," she bit her lip again, released it and then blushed even deeper. "Can you get me a pair of panties? They're in the top drawer over there."

Now it was my turn to blush, and I felt my ears burn red as I nodded. Grabbing the first pair I touched, I tossed them to her and then turned to give her privacy. Bella seemed to be enjoying my discomfort just a little too much.

"Red ruffles, Edward, really? I'll have to remember that," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. I scrunched my eyes shut and bit my tongue to keep from groaning in embarrassment. How she could jump from bashful to vixen was beyond my comprehension.

"Okay," she laughed. "It's safe to turn around. I'm decent."

Turning and facing her, my witty retort died on my lips as I took her in, hair still mussed from earlier, her face glowing and happy in the moonlight, my shirt hanging on her petite frame. Walking quickly over to her, I crawled into bed, rolling her onto her back as I hovered above her.

"No, love. You are utterly _in_decent, laying here, taking my breath away, looking like beauty personified."

"You make me feel beautiful, Edward," she whispered, raising her head up to kiss me and I melted into her, forcing myself to pull away and roll beside her before I could get carried away again.

"You probably shouldn't spend the night in here, huh?" she smiled.

"Yeah," I sighed. "If Lily were to wake up I wouldn't want her to be scared if she couldn't find me. Not to mention she'd probably be jealous and demand to be allowed to sleep with us, too."

"I was thinking more along the lines of setting the right example and not having to be interrogated about what we were doing together," Bella laughed. "But I can see her stomping her foot and climbing into bed between us, too."

"So I guess I'll revert back to my teenage years and use my ninja stealth to sneak back into bed before she wakes up," I grinned.

She cocked her eyebrow at me, smirking back at me. "Have a lot of practice at that, Edward? Sneaking in and out of girl's bedrooms as a teenager?"

Kissing her smirk away, I pulled back and waggled my eyebrows at her. "Who said I ever stopped? You say some fun things in your sleep, Swan."

Laughing, she pushed me back. "You perv! You're lucky I love you."

"I love you so much," I said seriously, brushing her hair out of her face. "What you did for me today, Bella…I've never had anyone do anything like that in my life. My mom gets me a card for Father's Day, but no one's ever…how did you know? How did you know I needed to reconnect with her? And why didn't you stay around to spend the day with us? You went to all that trouble to make everything so…_perfect_, and you didn't even experience it with us."

"Edward," she sighed. "That was the whole point of the day. To give the two of you time together without any intrusion." I opened my mouth to argue, but she held a finger to my lips, silencing me. "I know you love me and you know I love both you and Lily, but you two still need your own bonding time. And you haven't really gotten the chance to have that since we've been back.

"And you may not have ever had anyone do something special for you before, but get used to it, okay? It's how I show you I care about you. Just knowing you two were spending a happy day together and not worrying about tomorrow was enough for me."

My stomach twisted at the mention of tomorrow, and I swallowed thickly, trying to tamp down my anxiety. "I'm so scared," I admitted. "I'm so fucking scared to hear what she has to say tomorrow."

Her eyes filling immediately, she nodded. "Me, too. I haven't let myself think about it much since we got back, because I freak out if I do. I'm so afraid what she might have seen or what he did. I know she was alone sometimes, because she snuck food while I was out of it. I know he made her clean and she helped bring me water when he made me take my _medicine_," she spat, swallowing thickly.

"Shh," I soothed, gathering her into my chest. "We'll get through it. I just had the best day of my life. I don't want to ruin it talking about this. Seriously, Bella. It was such a beautiful day. I'll never forget it."

She laid a kiss on my heart, burying herself in the crook of my shoulder.

"I love you," she yawned.

Smiling, I kissed the top of her head.

"I love you back, sweet girl. Go to sleep now."

.

(September 2nd)

Monday morning dawned as I grumpily watched the rain continue to fall outside my window. I had slept the most peaceful night of my existence next to Bella last night, slipping out of bed when a thunderclap woke me around five. Lying in my bed staring at the ceiling for the last two hours, trying but failing to fall back asleep, I couldn't stop worrying about today.

I wanted to hope that it would be better than last time with Bella there, and I trusted Siobhan and Jasper to not push Lily too far. But I was terrified of having to watch Lily go through another reaction like she had last time. Watching my baby fall apart like that wasn't something I thought I could survive again.

Giving up on sleep, I decided it was late enough to shower. I got dressed quickly, happy to see Bella and Lily were both still sleeping peacefully through the storm. Nobody besides my parents and Jasper would be in the house today, to try and prevent anyone from unknowingly saying something to set Lily off again.

Steeling myself for a long day, I made some coffee and sat at the table waiting for it to cool. I didn't know how long I sat there staring at it, lost in thought, until my dad scraping a chair away from the kitchen table startled me.

"Shit, Dad! You scared me," I laughed nervously, feeling skittish even though I hadn't had a drop of caffeine yet.

"Well, you were staring at that coffee for so long, I just thought I'd see if it had anything good to say," he smiled.

I groaned, rubbing my hands over my face. "I'm trying to slow time. The coffee was explaining the time-space continuum to me. Unfortunately, it sounds like I should have taken a few more physics classes in college."

He nodded seriously. "And my DeLorean's in the shop, I'm afraid. That thing's a real plutonium guzzler."

I chuckled in spite of my nerves, and he smiled back at me. "It'll all work out, son. Maybe not right away, or the way you're expecting, but we'll get through this."

My smile fell, and I swallowed thickly. "I'm scared, Dad."

His expression pained, he opened his mouth to speak as Jasper entered into the kitchen.

"Edward, Carlisle. Are the girls up yet?"

I started to shake my head when I caught the time on the microwave and realized I'd been downstairs for over an hour. Standing quickly, I nodded once to Jasper. "I'll go check on them. I didn't realize how late it was."

"Your mother went up a little while ago to help Bella shower. She left Bella to get Lily ready. They're probably in her room," my dad informed me.

"'Kay. Thanks," I called out behind me as I rushed past Jasper to the girls upstairs. I found them in the closet, Bella whispering something to Lily as I appeared in the doorway. They were both already dressed, and I couldn't help but smile when I saw Lily was copying Bella's outfit again, although she added her own twist with the hot pink jellies on her feet.

"Good morning, ladies," I greeted them.

"Hi, Daddy," Lily smiled shyly.

"Let's go get some breakfast," I said softly, walking over and kissing Lily on the top of her head before helping Bella up to take her downstairs. I caught the flash of nerves in her eyes before she masked it and offered me a reassuring smile, but I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling growing inside me.

.

Siobhan and Marcus were ready and waiting for us in the children's room at her office. I knew Bella had mentioned Lily's freak-out to her at her last visit, and I didn't miss the wary appraisal Siobhan made of Lily's reaction upon reentering the room. Lily was instantly more timid as she kept one hand on my leg and the other on Bella's crutch.

"Hello, Lily," Siobhan smiled. "It's good to see you again, Edward. And you too, Bella."

"Hi, Siobhan," Bella spoke, and if I didn't know her so well I wouldn't have caught the hint of nerves in her voice. "Is that a chalkboard wall? I've always wanted to color on one of those."

Siobhan instantly produced a bucket of chalk, setting it down in front of the wall. "Help yourself."

We made our way over to the wall as Jasper and Siobhan conversed with Marcus for a moment. After a bit, Siobhan and Jasper joined us.

"So, Lily," Siobhan began. "Tell me about your weekend."

Lily instantly lit up, relaying Bella's perfect day, her trip to the playground with Charlie, which earned a surprised yet happy raise of Siobhan's eyebrows, our perfect day, finishing with a proud announcement of Bella's and my relationship.

"They love each other now," Lily sighed dreamily.

Siobhan beamed down at Lily. "You sound very happy about that, Lily."

Lily didn't reply, just continued drawing her masterpiece on the wall.

"Well, Lily, I was wondering if I could ask you a few more questions about your time away," Siobhan started cautiously.

Lily stopped coloring immediately and locked eyes with Bella. Bella stopped coloring as well and sat down against the wall, where Lily promptly crawled into her lap, making me wonder if they had planned this when they were whispering this morning. I found a bean bag to sit on across from them as Siobhan and Jasper mirrored my actions. Once everyone was comfortable, Siobhan began again.

"Lily, I know Bella got very sick while you were there. She was sleeping for a long time and you were alone with the man. I need to know what happened while you were alone with him. Did he ever hurt you?"

Lily shook her head, staring down at her hands, which were holding Bella's so tightly they were turning white, but Bella showed no signs of discomfort.

"No, I wasn't old enough."

Siobhan cocked her head, watching Lily closely. "What do you mean you weren't old enough?"

Lily shrugged, her eyes still trained on her hands. "I dunno, it's just what he said. He said I'd learn when I turned five, but he said the wrong birthday. He said August fourteeth."

I saw Bella's hold on Lily tighten and I knew she was thinking the exact same thing as me.

_One week. One week later and he would have started hurting her too._

Siobhan glossed over that comment, moving on. "So did you and the man talk a lot while Bella was sleeping?"

Lily shrugged again, pulling Bella's hair around her to twist it around her fingers. "Yeah, I guess, I dunno. We sat together when we ate and stuff. His food was gross. I liked Bella's food better. I had to sweep and dust. That was when I snuck the foods into the closet." She turned to face Bella, tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I tricked you, Bella."

Bella shook her head, closing her eyes and pressing her lips into Lily's hair. "Shh. It's okay."

I would have to ask Bella what that was about.

"Lily, did anyone else ever come to the cabin while you were there?"

Lily looked confused, but shook her head anyway. Siobhan smiled gently, nodding in return.

"I didn't think so, but I had to ask. My next question might be kind of hard to answer. Would you like to take a break before we I ask it?"

Lily looked at me, then back at Siobhan. "What's the question?"

_That's my smart girl._

Siobhan studied her for a moment, before asking the question I had been dreading.

"Did you see the man hurt Bella while she was sleeping?"

Bella tensed instantly, while Lily began to tremble. She locked eyes with me and began blinking rapidly, and it took me a second to realize what she was trying to communicate.

"Oh! Um, Siobhan, Lily would like to take that break. Why don't we get a juicebox?" I suggested.

"I'll get them," Siobhan said quietly, rising and leaving the room with Marcus. Lily had stopped trembling, but she hadn't moved from Bella's lap, looking like she had no intentions of doing so in the near future.

"Are you okay, Lily?" I whispered, internally rolling my eyes at myself.

_Why do I always ask such dumb questions?_

Ever brave, Lily nodded as Siobhan and Marcus returned. She took her juice silently, sipping it slowly. Once she had finished, Siobhan took a deep breath.

"Can I try asking my question again, Lily?"

Lily nodded, but remained silent. With a small, sad half-smile, Siobhan patiently asked her again.

"Did you see the man hurt Bella while she was sleeping?"

Lily's eyes glazed over as she stared blankly into the room.

"Yes," she whispered so quietly we could barely hear her.

I choked down the rush of emotion her answer caused, swallowing down the nausea and fear and rage I felt in that moment. It was bad enough to have the memories of Bella's broken body implanted in my mind forever, but loving her as I did now, I didn't know if I could take hearing about what he did without hitting something or throwing up or possibly both.

"Lily," Siobhan soothed softly. "I know that it's very hard to talk about, but I need to know what you saw him do. You can take as much time as you need and we can take a break anytime. Would you like to use my dolls for pretend?"

Lily shook her head furiously, blinking back tears. Siobhan waited for a moment before trying to ask her again.

"Can you tell me what he did?"

Lily started shaking again until Bella started humming in her ear. After a few moments, she was calm enough to start trying to talk.

"When she first fell asleep and she couldn't wake up, he was really mad. He was screaming and screaming and screaming, and he started smacking her everywhere to make her wake up. But she couldn't wake up. And I was crying and I wanted him to stop, but he wouldn't listen to me. He got really mad and pushed her off the bed and then went to his room. I couldn't get her back to the bed. I tried and I tried, but I couldn't do it. I wasn't strong enough," she broke off, starting to cry.

Bella immediately started whispering to her as she rocked her back and forth. It was amazing to watch the two of them together. Lily seemed to melt into Bella as she worked her magic on my daughter. After a few more moments, Lily nodded and swallowed visibly before continuing.

"He still made her take that medicine. He squished them to pour into her mouth because she couldn't wake up to swallow. After the day he pushed her off the bed, he dragged her out to the couch to keep her close to the fireplace. When I was apposed to be cleaning I would try and give her some water, but most of it just spilled."

"That was so nice of you to do," Siobhan praised. "I know you tried your very best to take care of Bella, and you did a very good job…Did he hurt her any more after he brought her to the couch?"

Lily's face went pale as her eyes became unfocused. "He took blood out of her. A lot of blood. It was scary," she whimpered, and Bella started whispering in her ear again. I hoped later she would enlighten me as to how she was doing what she was doing.

_Her next book should be on parenting. _

"That was the day you and Bella escaped, wasn't it?" Siobhan asked.

Lily nodded in response.

"You were waiting in the room where you slept, is that right?"

Lily scowled. "_Yes_. Bella wouldn't let me help. And it was really scary because I could hear them fighting, but she made me _promise_," she spat. I was floored by the amount of venom in her voice, but Bella didn't look surprised. Her hold around Lily loosened slightly as she breathed in and out slowly, as if preparing herself for more.

Siobhan was studying her carefully, waiting to proceed. "I'm very glad you kept your promise, Lily. You could have gotten hurt if you hadn't."

"Hmph," she pouted. "I was big enough to help carry our stuff. I was big enough to fix Bella's arm. I was big enough to walk in the woods. I could have helped. But I was stuck in that room and I could smell the smoke and I was all alone."

She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as her bottom lip began to tremble.

"And then it was morning and it was raining. And I was so cold and then Bella fell over and couldn't wake up again. And I was so scared 'cause I know there's animals in the woods and bugs and I was afraid he would find me. I wanted her to wake up and I was crying."

She started to rock back and forth as her eyes glazed over again.

"_Mommy,_" she whispered brokenly. "_Mommy, Mommy, please._"

My heart started beating furiously in my chest as I exchanged an alarmed look with Siobhan. She glanced at Marcus and he nodded in confirmation that we were done. Very cautiously, Bella raised her hands up to stroke Lily's arms, but at her touch Lily snapped. She stood and wheeled on Bella, her eyes blazing with tears and fury.

"Why did you let him hurt you?! Why wouldn't you let me help?!" she screamed in Bella's face.

"Lily!" I cried, shocked.

Bella glanced at me and shook her head once before looking back at Lily calmly.

"You're mad at me," she acknowledged softly, her demeanor seeming to enrage Lily more. With her finger pointed accusingly at Bella's face she started screaming again.

"You promised you wouldn't leave me alone! But you did! You fell and you wouldn't wake up and I thought you were gonna die! I shoulda broke my promise! I shoulda helped you! I did bad stuff all the times and you wouldn't let him be mean to me! And you let him hit you too much and then I needed you and I was scared," she sobbed. She lost all her energy, and as she sagged I pulled her into my lap where she continued to cry.

"Real Daddy," she whimpered, causing a broken cry to catch in my throat. Jasper and Siobhan excused themselves from the room for the moment, and Bella looked torn between remaining or giving Lily space. Wishing I knew the answer myself, I watched her pained face helplessly. I didn't want her to go, but I didn't know if Lily did. Ultimately, Bella apparently decided to leave, and tried to stand. Her movement caught Lily's attention, however, and she became frantic.

"No! Don't leave me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please, Mommy!" she cried, and Bella's eyes widened in shock.

Bella sat back down and Lily scrambled into her lap, not releasing my hand so I was forced to follow her and sit next to them against the wall.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Lily repeated, her voice weak and teary, with her arm around Bella's neck in a chokehold and her grip on my hand almost painful.

"Shh, I love you. Daddy loves you. We're here. You're safe," Bella cooed back to her, and I could tell by her voice she was barely hanging on. Sitting there, watching both my girls in so much pain twisted my heart and stomach. _That man_ had done this to them. My mind couldn't stop replaying the images Lily had described. All I could see was Lily crying and afraid, Bella covered in bruises and blood. My frustration at being unable to do anything to help them slowly turned into a dark, burning, consuming anger.

But I wasn't angry. I was _furious_.

Jumping to my feet quickly, I realized I was shaking and I needed to get away before I lashed out at them. My brain didn't even register the looks of shock on their faces as I stormed from the room, slamming the door behind me. Stalking out to the reception area, Siobhan, Jasper and Marcus were standing together, watching me approach warily.

Reaching Marcus first, I grabbed him by his shirt collar and rammed him backwards until he hit the wall.

"Have you got what you need now, you son of a bitch?" I shouted, shaking him. "How many more times do I have to see my baby like that, huh? What the fuck else do you need before you kill that fucker for what he did?"

"Edward! _Shit_!" Jasper ripped me back from Marcus in a nelson hold leftover from his wrestling days in college. "Calm down, man."

I struggled against him fruitlessly as Marcus pushed off the wall and shook his collar out, straightening his shirt. He stared at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I really am. To answer your question, yes, we are done now. We had to be sure no one else had been in the cabin and that she wasn't harmed. I understand your frustration with the questions we needed for our records. If there was a way around it, I swear to you, I'd do it. I was telling Dr. Flannigan and Jasper before you came out that the motion's already been filed. He'll be pulled off life support by the end of the week."

I sagged back against Jasper in defeat, ashamed for attacking him. This wasn't his fault and I knew it. He was the first person I saw, but the one I really wanted to punish was handcuffed to a hospital bed. I felt like I was losing it.

"Marcus, I'm so-"

He sighed, shaking his head. "I know, Edward. Trust me when I say I don't enjoy this part of the job. That little girl lived through hell and I had to make her relive it all over again. It definitely doesn't help me sleep at night, I'll tell you that."

Jasper cautiously released his hold on me and I collapsed into a broken heap in the nearest chair. Hunched over and ripping at my hair with my head in my hands, I rocked back and forth as I tried to fight back the sobs bubbling from within me. I needed to get myself together so I could go back in and comfort Lily and Bella. Breaking down would have to wait.

Two shoes appeared in front of me and I looked up to see Marcus with his hand outstretched. "Here's hoping we never meet under these circumstances again, Edward."

I took his hand and shook it firmly. "Thank you for everything you did for us, Marcus."

He nodded once to me, then to Siobhan and Jasper before walking out. They sat down on either side of me and I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes until I saw stars, wishing they'd just leave me alone.

"Edward," Siobhan began softly. "I have the rest of the day clear if you'd like to have an emergency session. Do you need something for the anxiety? I've got some samples in my office. Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin…"

I shook my head, clearing my throat. "No thanks. I'm alright."

"You're not alright, Edward," Jasper insisted. "You just attacked a police officer after listening to-"

"I know what the fuck I just got done listening to, Jasper. You don't need to repeat it," I snarled, pushing off my chair and beginning to pace. "I just need a minute to calm down and then I can go back in there. I don't have time to do this right now. They need me."

"You're no good to them acting like a wild animal!" Jasper argued, standing up and blocking me from my pacing. He really needed to watch it. "Look at you, man! You're looking at me like you want to hit me and you want to go in there with them like this?! You either need to take a pill or take a walk, 'cause I can't let you go back in there until you've calmed down."

With him standing right in front of me and pointing his finger at my chest, telling me he wasn't going to _let_ me back in to help my girls, I found myself with a new place to direct all the hatred and frustration I was feeling. I shoved him back, hard, but he stayed upright and came right back at me for more.

"Edward, man, don't do this," he said, calmer now, but all I could see was red.

"Don't do what, Jasper? If I have to go through you to get to them, then so be it," I spat, about to shove him again when a soft voice carried up from the hall.

"Edward."

I turned, wild, and saw Bella standing just outside the doorway of the children's room with Lily tucked behind her leg. All my strength and anger left me in an instant and turned into a deep, gnawing pain as I took in her red-rimmed eyes and trembling body.

_What have I done?_

I moved to step toward them, but Jasper's palm on my chest wasn't what stopped me. It was Bella who backed up against the doorway slightly as she held her hand up that froze me in my steps.

"Please don't. Your dad is almost here to pick us up. That'll give you time to calm down," she spoke softly, but firmly.

The thought of them leaving me was almost too much to take. I realized my hands were still shaking as I tried to persuade her I was fine, even though my own mouth had difficulty spouting off _that_ blatant lie.

"No, Bella, I'm better now, I just lost it for a min-"

"We'll see you at home, Edward," she interrupted with finality, and the set of her jaw and her eyes spoke volumes. _This_ was the Bella that protected my daughter at all costs, the Bella that took _him_ down with her bare hands. And right now she was protecting her again, only this time it was from me.

Feeling utterly defeated and slightly dizzy from all the emotion swirling inside me, I nodded once, dropping my eyes to the ground and moving back as they came forward slowly to leave. I expected them to both just walk straight past me, but instead they stopped in front of me. When I looked up, I assumed Bella would have nothing but hatred and disgust in her eyes for my behavior, but even though they were swimming in tears, I could clearly read the understanding and love she held for me.

She raised her hand to rub my cheek and I dropped my forehead to hers, closing my eyes to keep the tears at bay for just a few seconds longer.

"I love every part of you," she whispered, echoing my sentiments from the night before.

A pained, strangled cry escaped my lips that I tried to swallow down as fast as I could. She pulled back and gave me a soft, sad smile before looking down at Lily, prompting me to do the same. She tugged on my pant leg to bring me down to her level, and I dropped immediately to stare into her tear-tracked, red face.

"I love you, Daddy," she said, her voice hoarse from crying. "Will you come home to me soon?"

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded rapidly as I enveloped her in a hug. "So soon, Lilybug. I love you."

Standing again, I looked at Bella once more and pushed a stray curl behind her ear. "Both of you."

Headlights shone through the front door as my dad pulled up. The rain miraculously started to let up then and Bella and Lily left without another word. Turning to face Jasper and Siobhan, I surrendered.

"Alright. Let's do this. I've got a family to get home to."

.

**A/N: Don't kill me. It's part of what's got to happen on the road to healing.**

**Fic Rec:**

**Bite to Break Skin by Jillian Landers**


	28. Chapter 28 Healing Hurts

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Thanks as ever for all your reviews, alerts, favorites, twitter, forum, and FB pimping, and to everyone who has voted for TINML in the various awards out there. **

**Bellamarie117 beta'ed this beast for me, and Fantasy Mother pre-reads for me. Again and again and again...  
**

Chapter 28: Healing Hurts

BPOV

_What the hell was that?_

Edward just stomped out of here looking like he was about to go on a killing spree.

"Is Daddy mad at me?" Lily wailed, bursting into a fresh round of tears.

_Oh, I'm going to kick his ass._

"No, Lily. Of course not. You know how you just got really upset from having to talk about everything?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded, her face buried in my chest, drenching my shirt.

"I think Daddy is really upset right now from hearing about it, too. He's not upset with you; I think he's just sad that-"

A loud thud and angry shouting interrupted my train of thought, and Lily curled deeper into me, sobbing loudly. Trying to distract her, I started reciting the same mantra I had been repeating since we arrived at Siobhan's.

"I'm Bella. I'm here. I'm safe. You're Lily. You're here. You're safe. He's gone. He's gone," I whispered shakily. She slowly calmed, but I could still hear raised voices coming from the front room. Reaching into my pocket for my cell, I dialed Carlisle quickly. He answered on the first ring.

"_Bella?"_

"Hi, Carlisle. Could you, um, could you come get Lily and me from Siobhan's office? I don't think Edward's going to be able to drive us just now."

"_I'll be there in less than ten minutes."_

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"_No, thank you, Bella. Good-bye."_

"'Bye." Closing my phone, I tossed it aside as I tried to get myself together. I shut my eyes tightly as I tried to force everything that I'd just heard into a distant compartment in my mind to open later when I was alone.

"Is Daddy going to stay here?" Lily whispered brokenly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, hoping I was doing the right thing. If Edward needed to break down, I didn't think it was good for Lily to witness it. But if he was feeling even half of what I was, he needed to let it out since he clearly didn't have a handle on it.

"Yes, he is, for a little while. I know both times you've talked to Siobhan you've had to talk about stuff that's upset you, but it really _can_ help to talk to someone when you're feeling sad. And I think Daddy is feeling very sad right now because of everything that happened to us. He is _not_ mad at you or at me."

"Are you sure?" she begged.

"I'm positive. You remember when I talked about how our feelings are like a bottle of soda? Daddy's feeling really shaken up over hearing about everything. He's not mad at us," I swore.

_Though he might be at me once he realizes I'm taking you home without his permission._

"Will he be okay?" she whimpered.

"Yeah, sweetie. Even daddies need to cry sometimes."

My phone buzzed with a text and I picked it up to see Carlisle was two minutes away.

"C'mon, sweetie. Let's get up. Papaw's almost here."

She climbed off of me and helped me up, handing me my crutches. We made our way to the door as the shouting started up again.

"Stay behind me, okay?" I whispered, and I felt her move behind, clutching onto my leg for dear life.

I opened the door and froze. Edward looked like he was about to punch Jasper while Siobhan was watching helplessly. But he didn't look like _my_ Edward. This Edward's face was red and spitting mad, his whole body shaking with violent, angry tremors. His eyes looked wild, like he wasn't entirely present in the moment, and I realized I was doing the right thing taking us out of here. If he came home with us, he would just shove everything he was feeling away to try and take care of us instead of dealing with this.

_Kind of like you're doing right now?_

_Shut. Up._

Before he could hurt Jasper, I called out his name clearly.

"Edward."

His eyes snapped to me immediately and I could see the remorse come over him in an instant. The strength it was taking me to support myself with Lily leaning on me and everything I'd just heard echoing in my mind had me hanging on by a very thin thread.

When he moved toward us, instinct made me move back automatically, and I held up my hand to keep him from speaking.

"Please don't. Your dad is almost here to pick us up. That'll give you time to calm down," I said clearly, trying not to lose my resolve as I saw the pain pass over his face.

I watched him shake as he tried to make me believe he was alright, but I wouldn't even let him finish. He needed this, to let it out before it poisoned him, and Lily did not need to see it.

"We'll see you at home, Edward."

If he had argued again, I didn't know what I would have done, but his shoulders sank as he stepped back for us to leave. Everything in his posture and expression screamed that he thought he had failed us, and I couldn't just leave without him knowing that this didn't make him any less in my eyes.

I stopped in front of him, and we shared a brief moment where I tried to convey all the love I felt for him without breaking down and dragging him home with us.

After a quick good-bye for Lily, we went outside where Carlisle was waiting for us. He helped us into the car and pulled away, though I didn't miss the worried glance he shot in Edward's direction before he drove off.

The atmosphere was tense with unasked questions, Lily's and my sadness permeating throughout the car. No words were spoken the short drive home, but Lily's tight grip on my hand never let up. With a bit of difficulty, Carlisle was able to help me upstairs to Lily's room. He hovered awkwardly in the doorway as he looked between Lily and me worriedly.

"If…if you need anything, just let me know."

I nodded to him thankfully, trying to smile. "Thank you, Carlisle."

He attempted to smile back, before leaving us alone together. Taking in her wrinkled clothes and sweaty, matted hair, I rubbed her cheek softly.

"How about a bath, sweetie?"

She shuffled into the bathroom without a word where she proceeded to strip down and wait for me to fill the tub with bubbles.

"Can you sing the Rubber Ducky song?" she looked up at me hopefully.

Feeling like a failure for the hundredth time that day, I fought back my tears and shook my head. "I'm sorry. I don't know that one."

She nodded absently and climbed in, staring unfocusedly down at the bubbles. I washed her hair gently, rubbing her scalp to soothe her. She hummed contentedly, slowly coming back to life as she breathed in the calming scent of her lavender soap.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, sweetie?" I asked eagerly, happy to hear her talking again.

"You said my daddy's not mad at me."

I nodded hesitantly, not sure where she was going with this. I knew she felt like I had broken my promise to her, so I didn't know if she was going to believe anything I said from now on. She stayed quiet for so long, I wondered if she needed me to vocalize my reply or explain his reaction to her again, but just as I opened my mouth to speak, her voice rang out timidly.

"But are _you_ mad at me?"

From the rapidly dwindling reserves of my physical strength I pulled her from the water immediately to my chest, hugging her tightly. She was dripping wet and covered in bubbles, but she threw her arms around my neck instantly and I tried not to cry out as she hung her weight on me.

"_No_, Lily. I swear it. I'm not mad at you at all. Please believe me," I begged, trying to distract myself from the ache in my heart with the physical pangs shooting through me.

She pulled back shivering and I grabbed a towel off the hook behind me, wrapping her up as she climbed out of the tub. I tried to get a read on her face as to whether or not she believed my words, but she rushed out of the bathroom to her closet.

I followed her in, watching her cautiously as she dressed into fresh clothes, her back to me the entire time. When I couldn't stand the silence anymore, I slid down the wall where I had sat this morning when she told me how she wanted to talk to Siobhan at her statement.

She froze as she heard me move until she suddenly whirled around and stared at me with a heart-breaking expression on her face.

"But you got hurt so bad and I couldn't stop him!" she cried, her arms flailing. "And I didn't even really try! I was too scared!"

"Lily, stop it," I whimpered, taking her hands and pulling her to me, unraveling more and more by the second. "Please, sweetie, you have to understand…It wasn't your job to stop him. It wasn't your job to protect me. It's okay if you were scared. I was scared, too. I'm _not_ mad at you. You couldn't have stopped him, not without getting hurt yourself.

"And Little Thing, one day when you're a mommy, and you've got a little girl, you'll understand. Mommies can't watch their little girls get hurt if they can help it. Not if they love them. And I love you so much, Lily. Please. _Please_," I pled, _so close _to losing it until she crawled into my lap.

Shutting my eyes tight and gritting my teeth, I was able to fight back the sobs threatening to spill out as I focused on her cries and shudders. Rocking us back and forth, I hummed our song as she let it all out. She cried until her tears ran dry and I felt numb all over, from the inside out.

"Lily," I rasped. "Let me tuck you into bed."

She was already half-asleep, but she managed to stumble into bed, snuggling into her Snuffles, her eyes never fully opening. She was too out of it to even ask me to stay, and for that, I was grateful. I needed to get away and get alone, quick. Everything I had been pushing back was clawing its way out and I knew I didn't have long before I fell apart.

Fumbling out of her room and down the hall to my own, I barely made it to my bathroom before I started to vomit violently. It felt like everything I'd ever eaten or drank was coming out of me, but it didn't feel like enough. Everything James had done was rushing back into the forefront of my mind, and it felt like no matter how much I choked and coughed, I could still feel that poison in there.

There was nothing left in my system, but still I heaved until the taste in my mouth was unbearable. Pulling myself up onto the counter, I washed my mouth out until it burned from the mouthwash. Running a cool washcloth down my face and neck, I suddenly felt like I was burning, and I clawed my clothes off in frustration. I gasped when I caught my reflection in the mirror, not even recognizing myself.

With no satisfaction I realized I looked as broken as I felt, but closing my eyes to shield them from the image in front of me did more harm than good. Random flashes flitted through my mind, things Lily had described coming back to me in bits and pieces as my own memory retrieved them. Things I didn't know if they were real or delusion, but images came back to me nonetheless of James leering over me, screaming in my face, hovering over me, but not in the beautiful way Edward had the night before.

_Edward._

_Focus, Bella. Focus on him._

I tried. I wanted to. But I couldn't. It was just beyond my mind's grasp as I felt James everywhere. Anguished howls were echoing all around me, and even when I recognized they were coming from me, I was powerless to stop them. Moments ago, I had felt numb. Now, I was on overload. I was full of hate and anger and bitterness and all the emotions I didn't want to feel because I couldn't get them out. They were too much all at once and I felt too weak. I didn't understand why this was hurting so bad. It was no surprise he had hurt me, though it was sickening that I knew Lily had seen it firsthand.

_I know it's over._

It was over. He was gone. He could never hurt us or anyone else ever again. No more police statements. From this point on, only healing.

_Is this what closure feels like?_

I fell back against the wall and slid down, trying to find _anything_ to latch onto that could bring me out of this. I thought of my parents, how much I had missed them when I thought I'd never see them again. My mind struggled to push aside the images of Lily scared and timid in the cabin, of her crying and screaming at me in hatred today, instead trying to focus on all the smiles and giggles she had given me since I'd first met her.

Lily. My giggle monster. My Little Thing. Everything I went through, it was for her. I would do it again in a heartbeat, over and over if it meant she was safe. She would never know what a little light she was for me during that time, that she was my source of strength.

No one understood that I wasn't as strong as they thought. She gave me a reason to fight, to not give up. Without her, there was no telling what would have become of me. She was my reason to endure. With startling clarity I realized that everything I'd been through up to this point had led me to where my life was now. I had been coasting along, not really living, until I found my reason to embrace life and love and be loved the way I always dreamt of.

_Edward._

_Focus, Bella. Don't let it go this time._

Edward. He was everything I never knew I always wanted. We were both so full of imperfections, but he was so perfect for me. Before now, there had been something holding me back, making me think that it was somehow wrong for him to love me, when we had come together through such pain. But love that felt _so right_, that made us into this little family, it couldn't be bad. I had only known him for three weeks, but it felt like a lifetime, and he knew me better than anyone else in the world. And everything about him drew me in; his beauty, inside and out, his voice, his taste, his smell.

_His smell._

_He's here._

"_Oh, my love._ My Bella. Come back to me. I love you so much. I'm here now. I'm sorry. Open your eyes for me, I'll do anything," his hoarse voice begged.

My eyes flew open on command, blinking through the dizziness and tears to see him crouched right in front of me. I tried to bring my arms up to his face, but they only flailed weakly beside me.

He heaved a huge sigh of relief at my movement, enveloping me immediately in his arms, holding me up against his chest.

"Stay with me, please. I need you so much, love, you have no idea. I can't lose you," he whispered brokenly in my ear.

"Edwa-" I croaked, my throat too raw to speak.

He pulled back immediately, searching my face.

"There's my sweet girl. You don't need to talk, just nod. Do you want to take a shower?"

I drunkenly shook my head, slipping down the wall a bit as my muscles began to cramp up and give out from my nausea. He frowned, looking me over speculatively as he caught me from hitting the floor.

"Were you sick?"

I whimpered, remembering the taste of bile and the ghosts of my memories.

"Shh," he comforted, holding me upright. "Do you want to go to bed?"

I couldn't even nod, so I blinked at him hoping he would get the hint. His lips quirked up in a sad, understanding half-smile as he lifted me up and carried me to bed. I lay there lifeless, only able to follow his movements with my eyes, trying to focus on the smell of him still in the sheets surrounding me. He moved about the room doing…_something_, when all I wanted was for him to climb in beside me and stop the room from shaking like it was. It wasn't until I felt warm cotton being slipped over my head and up my legs that I remembered I had stripped down to my underwear and I was _freezing_.

As soon as he climbed in and wrapped me in his arms, comfort and the feeling of _home_ washed over me, and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I wanted to find out if he was okay now, I wanted to tell him what happened with Lily, I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I couldn't form the words.

"Shh, love. Sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up. I promise, Bella."

It was the last thing I heard before I surrendered to the exhaustion.

.

Some time later, much, _much_ later, I awoke feeling stiff and sore all over. The rain still pelted down outside against my windowpanes, but the room was filled with darkness now. I wanted to turn to check the clock by my bed, but I was being held down by stone arms wrapped around me like angel's wings. Blinking my eyes to adjust to the dark, I realized Edward was sleeping right beside me, bruise-like shadows under his eyes.

I traced them gently, but at my touch his eyes darted open, making me gasp.

"I'm sorry," I croaked, my voice still thick with sleep. "I didn't mean to wake you."

He ignored my apology completely, drawing me into his chest and burying his face in my hair.

"Oh, my sweet girl. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

I shook my head in his chest, breathing in his scent deeply.

"Are you sure, love? You've been sleeping for over fourteen hours. Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

I was actually _starving_, but I didn't want to move out of his arms. Food could wait. Shaking my head again, he pulled me back to look into my eyes.

"Well, it would make _me_ feel better if you at least drank something. Please, Bella? For me?"

I nodded reluctantly, not wanting him to leave, but he simply grabbed one of Emmett's nasty Ensure shakes out of the mini-fridge. My distaste must have shown on my face, because he chuckled under his breath when he turned around.

"I know they taste bad, but if you won't eat yet, then you'll just have to suffer through."

I took it grudgingly, swallowing it down as fast as possible and chasing it with half a bottle of water right after.

"Ugh," I shuddered. "Those things are really awful."

He set the drinks aside as he sat down Indian-style in front of me on the bed. I pulled myself up slowly, ignoring his laugh as I had to forcibly drag my leg with the cast up to mirror his position. For the first time that I could remember since meeting him, I was nervous.

"Hey," he murmured, pulling my lip from between my teeth. "Talk to me. What are you thinking about?"

_That's a loaded question._

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Everything, nothing…Are you okay? Is Lily okay?"

"Uh-uh," he shook his head. "I'm not answering any questions about us until you tell me what's going on with you. C'mon, love. Talk to me. How are you feeling? Physically," he clarified.

That was easier to answer. "I feel okay." At his dissatisfied scowl, I specified, "My stomach feels fine, my throat's a little raw, my muscles feel a little achy, but overall I feel alright."

This answer seemed to please him a little more, and his face softened in response. "Can you tell me what happened after you tucked Lily into bed?"

"I broke down," I said simply. "I made myself go numb long enough to help Lily calm down and then once she was taken care of, I just…lost it."

Picking up my hand, he began to trace small circles on the back of it. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed me," he apologized softly, his brows furrowed in remorse and worry as he stared holes into the back of my hand.

"No, Edward," I argued, tugging on his hand until he looked up at me. "I wouldn't have been able to do that if you had been here. I would have done the same thing you've been doing, and just kept it in so I could focus on you. It was hard and it was painful, but I _needed_ to let go. _I'm_ sorry you had to see me like that."

He raised a hand up to stroke my cheek. "You scared the hell out of me. I walked in the house and my dad was on the phone with Siobhan asking her what he should do. I could hear you crying all the way down there. I ran all the way up to your room, and then I found you…Bella, you…I didn't know if you were in pain, if you were having a flashback, or a panic attack, or what. You were _so_ weak and you were _freezing_. Can you…can you tell me what happened? Do you remember?"

I swallowed hard, trying to verbalize everything that went through my mind earlier as I watched my fingers play with his. "Hearing…hearing what she said made me…remember some stuff I think, I can't be sure, it could be my mind playing tricks on me, but it _seemed_ real. It made me sick, but then it felt like…like I could still _taste_ his medicine in me, and I _had_ to get it out. I felt so _dirty_, and I was angry, but I couldn't do anything about it, because I was too weak, and that just made me angrier.

"And then I just felt so _hot_, I remember being on the floor, but I don't know how I got there and thinking…it's over. I know it's _been_ over, but it just finally hit me that it really is. I mean, I know I have to still work through all sorts of stuff with Siobhan, and triggers, and all of that, but it's just…_over_," I trailed off in a whisper.

Looking up at him again through blurry tears, I tried not to let them fall. "And I've had this awful guilt that maybe this whole thing between you and I is…is wrong somehow," he sucked in a sharp breath, but I didn't stop. "Because we're only together because of this awful thing that happened to us, but…I realized that I was wrong." He continued to stare at me, anxiety written all over his face, his breathing rapid, so I rushed to finish. "I was wrong, because we've taken this horrible thing and made it into something so beautiful-" I didn't get the chance to finish before his lips were on mine, moving against them with a desperate edge.

When he released me, he kept his face close to mine, breathing hard. "Bella…I wish you had told me that's how you were feeling. _Jesus_," he panted. "Don't _ever _taint what we have with those kinds of thoughts, _please_, I'm begging you. Beautiful, you are _everything_ I could ever think to ask for in a woman and we are together because we are perfect for each other. I will always wish that I could somehow go back to that day and stop him from taking you to spare you and Lily the pain you went through, so that I could have just asked you out on a normal date, or brought you home for dinner with us and never let you go, but…I can't change what's already happened. All I can do is accept it and move on from here."

He moved back a bit, holding my face in his hands. "That's what I figured out for myself today at Siobhan's. After I finally calmed down enough to talk, we were able to figure out that's why I get so angry. It's not really a shock; I just didn't realize how much I was holding it in until it took over. I'm…I'm sorry for scaring you earlier."

Shaking my head furiously at him, I pulled his hands off my face to kiss his palms. "No, Edward. I wasn't scared _of_ you, I was scared _for_ you. You've always been _so strong_ for us, and I was afraid you'd feel guilty later if Lily saw you like that. Are you…are you mad at me? For taking her? You have _no idea_ how bad I just wanted to bring you home with us, but-" His thumb on my lips stopped me as he gazed at me with nothing but love and sorrow.

"Bella, I can tell you with one-hundred percent certainty, that if our situations had been reversed yesterday, I would have done the same thing. And if you had been the one to be breaking down and left behind, I _know_ you wouldn't hold it against me, so please trust me when I say I don't hold it against you. You did the right thing, love, and I thank you for that."

Tears stung my eyes and my lips trembled. "Is she okay now?" I whispered.

He gave me a soft smile before moving to sit next to me against the headboard so I could rest my head against his shoulder.

"She is," he assured me, linking our hands together. "When she woke up alone, she came running in here first thing. I made the mistake of telling her I promised you I'd be here when you woke up, so she wouldn't let me leave. She told me everything, love. She told me how she planned out how she wanted to talk at Siobhan's, and what you whispered to her to make her feel better. That was a beautiful thing to watch, by the way. And she told me how you reassured her when I had to leave the room. That soda analogy's pretty smart."

"Google," I sniffed, earning me a dry chuckle.

Turning his face into my hair, his voice dropped to a whisper. "You were the one that got through to her, though. 'Mommies can't let their little girls get hurt, not if they can help it?' That was what made her understand. I asked her if there had been a puppy to protect, or a little kitten, if she would have done what you did to keep them safe, and that was when it clicked. Unfortunately, that means she now wants a pet."

I laughed through the tears that were now falling freely down my face, wiping them with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

_Which…is…huge?_

"What is it with you and me wearing your clothes?" I sniffled, trying to absorb everything he'd told me. With great ease, he lifted me around to sit across his lap, a boyish grin on his face.

"What? I just wanted you to be warm," he pouted, trying to look innocent and failing miserably. Rolling my eyes, I kissed his pout away.

"So what are you getting? A dog or a cat?" I asked, poking his chest.

"Ha," he snorted. "I'll leave that up to the two of you. We'll be sharing custody once I go back to work, so whatever you won't mind taking care of eighty hours a week, let me know."

_Eighty hours a week. How will I only see him one day a week?_

He laughed at my returning grimace, misinterpreting it.

"It's not funny," I argued, distracting myself from those thoughts. "I'm really not a pet person. What are the chances of talking her into a hamster or fish?"

"Thinking easily replaceable?" he smirked. I nodded sheepishly. "We'll have to work on her a bit." His face grew serious again as he held my eyes. "That killed me today, to watch her lose it like that. But I think it would have been a lot worse if you hadn't been there."

"Even though she blew up at _me_?" I asked sadly, playing with our hands in my lap.

"Hey," he raised my chin to meet his eyes. "According to Siobhan it's only a matter of time before she blows up at me, too. It's all part of the process. But you held her together, Bella, and you were able to take care of her when I couldn't. And I know you say you wouldn't have been able to let go if I'd been here, but I don't want to hear you apologize for doing it when you needed to. The only thing I'm upset about is that you fell apart alone, without anyone to help you. My dad or mom could have picked up Lily, and you could have stayed there to talk with Siobhan or Jasper. But in light of my new discovery, I'll let it go, since worrying about it won't change anything."

I laid my head against his chest and curled my arm around his neck in silent apology as he continued speaking. "Lily wanted you to know she's sorry, by the way. She spent most of the day in here while you slept, talking about everything. She drew a lot of pictures for you, too."

Perking up, I smiled at him. "Can I see them?"

He beamed at me, sliding me off his lap carefully and flicking on the lamp on my nightstand where a thick stack of pictures lay. After a minute for my eyes to adjust to the new light, I took them from him eagerly, thumbing through each one. After the third, I picked up on a pretty discernible pattern.

"It looks like she's got quite a lot of plans for us," motioning towards the fourth picture of the collection, the three of us at what looked like the North Pole.

He grinned, taking it from my fingers. "Yeah, it looks like the illustrative companion to her fairytales almost."

I laughed back until I looked down at the next picture, which looked suspiciously like a wedding. "Hmm…Do you think she's trying to tell us something?" I deadpanned.

He smirked, playfully holding it up to the light. "I don't know…That's definitely me and her, but…do you think there's any chance that's Heidi Klum?"

I lunged for it, mock outrage on my face as he laughed loudly, holding it just out of my reach. He rolled me beneath him, letting the picture drop to the floor behind me as he stared deeply into my eyes. "But…I always preferred brunettes. And now that I look at it again, the only person it could be is definitely the most beautiful woman in my world. I only have eyes for you, love."

I felt my face heat, my eyes dropping to his lips. He leaned in slowly, capturing my lips in a sweet, slow kiss. I held his face reverently in my hands, trying to show him how much I loved him, how much he meant to me. Pulling away after several moments, he gazed down at me adoringly.

"Is there any way I can convince you to eat something?" he pled with…_**the look**_.

I gasped, my jaw dropping open in shock. "When did _you_ learn it? Ugh," I groaned. "I am so screwed."

And then he went in for the kill with that damned crooked smile. "Does that mean yes?"

"It's so late, what if we wake someone?" I worried.

"Ninja. Stealth," he winked, jumping off of me and picking me up in the blink of an eye. He crept downstairs surprisingly quietly, delivering me to the kitchen table as he began tinkering around.

"Alright," he sighed seriously. "I'll be honest. Lily is the chef. If you want to be fed something edible, your choices are…scrambled eggs, Ramen, or sandwiches."

I pretended to ponder over my options for a moment, tapping my chin and staring off in deep thought. "I think sandwiches. No reason to make a huge mess in the middle of the night."

He grinned at me before disappearing into the pantry. "Get ready, Swan. You're about to experience the best PB&J of your life." I muffled my laughter with my hand as he prepared the sandwiches with a flourish, studying the bread intently, checking to make sure they were completely spread evenly. After taking an inordinate amount of time to cut them _just right_, he produced my plate in front of me.

"Ta-da! I know, I know, hold your applause, it's the most amazing thing you've ever seen, but really, it was no trouble," he grinned.

I straightened my posture and picked up the sandwich daintily, taking a small taste-test. "Mmm...definitely the best PB&J I've ever had. What's your secret, Super Chef?"

"Please," he scoffed, sitting down across from me with his own plate. "What kind of cook would I be if I revealed my recipe, Swan?"

We ate quietly together, washing it down with his 'world-famous' chocolate milk. Afterward, we were still sitting at the table, but he made no move to go back upstairs, and he started fidgeting in his seat. I gave him time to collect himself, until he finally met my eyes nervously.

"I, uh, I need to talk to you about something, but I'm afraid it's going to upset you," he began, gauging my reaction closely, but I didn't know how to react because I had no idea what he was talking about.

His nervousness was making me nervous, so finally I just blurted out, "Just tell me!"

He jumped slightly, looking sheepish, rising quickly and walking around the table to pick me up and put me in his lap. "There, that's better. You were too far away."

I smiled gently at him, stroking his jaw with my fingertips. "Just tell me," I urged again.

He took a deep breath, and then rushed out, "_They'repullingtheplugonJamesonThursday_."

I shook my head at him, confused. "Repeat, please. A little slower this time."

He met my eyes with a worried look on his face. "They're pulling the plug on James on Thursday."

Taking in a deep breath, I exhaled shakily. "Oh. Um, well…okay."

"Okay?" he asked incredulously. "Okay? Is that really all you're thinking?"

"I…I don't know!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air exasperatedly. "What am I supposed to say? Lie, and say 'I'm sorry?' Feel guilty, and admit 'I'm glad?' I…I…"

"Okay, okay, shh, shh, I'm sorry," he soothed, drawing me into his chest and brushing his fingers through my hair. "I don't know what I was expecting, I just needed to tell you and I got myself so worked up over it. I'm…I'm going to be there when they do it. So is your dad."

"Charlie being there doesn't surprise me," I murmured. "Can I ask why _you _want to go?"

He sighed, before kissing the top of my head. "I just feel like I need to see it. I need to see with my own two eyes that he's really gone. I know he's not the only thing out in the world that could cause you two harm, and he's not even in a state to do anything now or ever again, but…"

"Shh, it's okay, I understand," I raised my head to give him a small kiss. "But I don't want to go. I've seen enough stuff for nightmares in my life. I don't want to add watching someone die to the list, even if it _is_ James. Unless…you feel like you _need_ me to be there for you…"

"No, no, I'll be fine, trust me. Plus, Charlie'll be there, remember? …Can we switch subjects here? To something a little more pleasant?" he smiled hopefully. I nodded back thankfully, returning his smile with a kiss.

"A second date," he stated seriously.

I arched my eyebrow at him, smiling playfully. "Are you asking or telling?"

"Oh, definitely telling," he winked. "I was thinking this Friday. And maybe this time…we get out of the house."

"Where would we go?" I asked excitedly, ignoring the fact I was still in a bulky cast.

"I was thinking…you'll never learn. It's a surprise," he grinned cheekily, before zipping his lips.

"Ed-waaard," I groaned, flicking him in the chest.

"Be-llaaa," he returned, smirking devilishly. "I haven't given you a surprise yet you didn't like. Patience is a virtue. Learn it. Love it. Live it."

"Fine," I conceded, rolling my eyes. "But once this cast is off, I'm surprising _you_ for once, and I don't want to hear a single complaint about it."

"What are you talking about?" he scoffed. "My perfect day _was _a surprise."

Whispering in what I hoped was a somewhat sultry voice and not that of a forty-year old smoker, I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Maybe I meant a surprise just from _me_."

His sharp intake of breath was all I heard before he stood with me in his lap and pushed the plates aside to sit me on the kitchen table. Standing between my legs, he leaned in and nuzzled my neck, murmuring into my skin, "And what kind of surprise would that be, love?"

_Oh, no. I'm no good at sexy talk. Deflect. Deflect!_

"Um…_oh_," I gasped as he nipped down my neck. "If…if I tell you, it wouldn't be a surprise." Trying to distract him from further questioning, I slid my hands up his body. Snaking them around his neck to pull him back by his hair, I brought his face to mine in a hungry kiss, which he returned with ferocity as he fisted his hands in my hair and sweatshirt. I wrapped my right leg around his waist, and the groan he released into my mouth made me moan back.

He pulled back suddenly, panting and staring at me, his eyes almost completely black. "We…we have to stop…Bella, I want you…_Fuck_, I want you," he groaned, tightening his fists for a second before he regained control. "But if we don't stop right now, I'm going to take you on this kitchen table, so help me God."

I felt my stomach coil in anticipation even though I knew he was right. As I recovered, the lateness of the night began to creep up on me again, and against my will I yawned. I tried to cover it with my hand, but he saw it anyway, and the lust between us evaporated away as he chuckled at me.

"C'mon, sweet girl. Time to take you to bed.

.

(September 4th)

We had spent Tuesday indoors, just the three of us, talking over the events of Siobhan's, playing and napping. Today I was going back in for my private session with Siobhan in the morning, and Edward was going in the afternoon. It was pretty much a given to let Lily take the week off before starting up her normal therapy.

The first half of my session was spent discussing Monday in excruciating detail, especially my breakdown in the bathroom and subsequent breakthrough. The second half of my session was spent working on another trigger, but this one would take more than one visit to work through. The smell of vinegar brought back a host of violent memories that left me emotionally exhausted by the end of the hour. She and I agreed to wean me off of the craving blocker while starting a low dosage for Zoloft, with an extra prescription of Xanax just in case of severe panic or anxiety.

I was losing badly to Lily in a game of _Pretty Pretty Princess_ when Edward got home from Siobhan's in a very good mood. He swooped down to kiss me before sitting down and pulling Lily onto his lap.

"How are my girls?"

"Good, Daddy. Did you know I get to spend the whole day with Aunt Ali and Aunt Rose and Nana Esme tomorrow?" Lily bounced excitedly in his lap, earning a wince from Edward when she landed wrong.

"Oomph," he groaned, sliding her down onto the floor and trying to smile through the pain. "I did, princess. Daddy has to go run some errands tomorrow, but you're going to have a lot of fun at home without me," he grinned.

"Are you going to play makeover with us, Bella?" Lily asked hopefully, and I was tempted to give in, but I remembered Siobhan's urging to not submit constantly to keep her happy.

"No, sweetie, I'm sorry," I smiled. "I'm going to see my good friend Angela tomorrow. She just got back from out of town and I haven't seen her in a long time."

"She could come play makeover, too," Lily offered sweetly.

Edward reached over and squeezed my hand in silent support. Smiling at him gratefully, I turned to face Lily once more. "Thank you, Lily, that's very nice of you, but I think she and I are just going to spend the day together at my apartment."

"_O-kaay _," she huffed, standing up and looking disappointed. "I wanna go play hopscotch with Uncle Emmie. Are you gonna make dinner with me later?"

I nodded quickly before she disappeared out of the living room, yelling for Emmett. Turning back to Edward, I saw he was watching me with a smile on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Siobhan told me it's hard for you to say no to her, and I thought you did a good job just now."

"Thanks," I giggled nervously. "Do you two talk a lot about my sessions?"

"No, no!" he rushed out. "She was actually talking to _me _about the problems I have saying no to Lily, and she told me not to feel bad because it happens to everyone, and I assumed she meant you. I'm sorry, I hope you know she would never…"

"No, no, it's okay," I assured him. "It's just I can be such a mess in those meetings sometimes, I-"

"Hey, stop that," he shushed me, leaning forward and brushing his lips against mine. "I hate it when you put yourself down."

"I'm sorry," I grimaced. "She gets onto me for that, too…How was your appointment?"

"Good, really good, actually," he nodded. "I needed to talk to you about something, if you've got a minute."

I snorted, checking my non-existent watch. "I don't know, let me check my calendar…"

"Alright, alright," he laughed, moving from the floor to the couch and pulling me up with him into his lap. "It's about one of Lily's triggers, one of the only ones we know about, but I'm not sure if it's one for you too, so I'm afraid to bring it up. I don't want to upset you after you already had a tough morning."

I furrowed my brow in thought, scraping my mind for things that made Lily upset. "The only trigger I knew of for her was to be called 'baby.'"

He nodded slowly, cautious of my reaction. I shook my head back at him, shrugging my shoulders. "Edward, I can remember him calling me a lot of things, but definitely not 'baby.'"

His face pinched in pain for a second, and I curled into his chest so he could play with my hair the way he liked to when he was stressed.

"I wasn't sure," he rasped after a moment. Clearing his throat, he continued, "But okay, that will make this a little easier to talk about, then. Siobhan wants for Lily to slowly get used to hearing the word again as an endearment. Lily herself can refer to babies as in children, _obviously,_" we both laughed briefly remembering her inquisition the night she found out about us, "and she's never noticed when Emmett's called Rose that, but he's only done it a few times that I know of around her. Siobhan thinks it would be good for her to hear it coming from me to you, but I needed to know if it would upset you to hear it."

I shook my head shyly into his chest, liking the sound of it and flushing at the thought of him using it in other, more intimate situations. He tucked a finger under my chin and brought my face up to his, smiling confusedly.

"I can feel your blush through my shirt. What are you thinking about, _baby_?"

"Nothing," I squeaked, feeling my cheeks turn even hotter.

His eyes lit up in understanding before taking on a mischievous glint. "Bella Swan," he admonished. "Are you having…_dirty_ thoughts about me calling you 'baby?'"

I shook my head furiously, too quickly to be believable, and his grin turned evil. Running his hand down from my face along my body, he grazed the side of my breast lightly, by accident I was sure, wrapping his hands almost all the way around my waist and gripping me tightly. Pulling me towards him, he pressed his lips into the hollow of my throat, speaking into my skin and sending vibrations all over my body.

"I know you're lying," he taunted, chuckling when he felt me shudder. "And the reason I know you're lying, is because I know what makes you blush like that," he bit into my collarbone before soothing it immediately after with a swipe of his tongue. "And I know you're lying," he kissed up my neck. "Because you're fucking perfect for me, and I'm having the…Exact. Same. Thoughts," he punctuated each word with a nip at my throat until he was breathing right behind my ear and I was a melting mess above him.

Suddenly, his warmth was gone, and it took me a second to open my eyes and blink out of my lusty haze. When my vision cleared, he was observing me innocently, as if he hadn't been three words away from causing me to orgasm right on top of him.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked, his eyes wide but a small smile playing on his lips.

Glaring at him as convincingly as possible, I slid off his lap until I was seated next to him on the couch. A plan formed in my head, so I dropped the glare, wryly smiling back at him while I shook my head and rolled my eyes. With a hopefully innocent half-smile, I leaned forward and laid my head on his shoulders, drawing lazy circles in his thigh with my finger.

"You don't play fair," I pouted, slowly bringing my fingers up higher and higher.

He shifted and cleared his throat slightly, but I could still hear that cocky smirk in his voice. "I never said I played fair."

"Yeah," I sighed, almost to my destination. Slowly raising my head, I tried the voice and eyelashes thing that had worked for me the other night.

"Edward?"

His eyes glazed slightly and his jaw fell slack as he grunted out, "Huh?"

Biting my lip to keep in my victory smile, I watched his eyes zero in on my mouth and went for the kill. Rubbing my hand where I could very clearly see just how much his little game had actually affected him, I gripped him tightly, but not painfully. He clenched his jaw to keep in his groan as I stroked down and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Payback's a bitch."

With a kiss on the cheek, I rose and limped out of the living room on my crutches without a backwards glance.

.

(September 5th)

Rose and Alice let Angela in when she arrived around noon, and I could tell she was as overwhelmed as I had been when I first saw their mansion and was introduced to the Cullen's other-worldly beauty. She recovered quickly though, as only Angie could, warming Rose's and Alice's hearts with one bad joke.

"You must be Lily! You look so smart. Maybe you can help me figure something out that's been bugging me all day…"

Lily nodded shyly, still holding onto my right leg tightly.

"What reads and lives in an apple?" Angie asked, waggling her eyebrows.

Lily shook her head, a smile creeping up her little round face.

"A bookworm!" Angie announced, and Lily fell over in hysterics while I groaned. She had that joke _everywhere_ in her office; coffee cups, plaques, business cards, it was like her personal motto. I knew for a fact she had a bookworm tattoo complete with round-rimmed glasses on her pubic bone that only Ben and I knew about.

_One night, a bottle of tequila, and we wake up tattooed._

_Say it with me, Bella. Never again._

Lily followed us out to Angela's car, clutching the new books Angie had brought her like precious treasure. I knew without looking at them that at least one of the titles would be The Giving Tree, since Angela believed that all children should be exposed to the genius of Shel Silverstein for proper development. Few things brought out her passion like books did. We were very similar that way.

Lily waved goodbye to us until we were out of sight and Angie took us to our favorite bistro by Pike Place Market for the same lunch we'd had for years together. She listened intently to all the new developments in my book and it wasn't until we reached my apartment that she called me out on the way my face lit up when I mentioned Edward.

After a squeal that would have deafened Lily and Alice, she calmed down enough to demand the details of everything going on between us. She cried tears of happiness for me as I explained I had finally found the kind of love up until now I had only written about, and later cried tears of sadness as she admitted how scared she had been when she found out about my abduction.

We spent the day lounging around the apartment, catching up on everything I'd missed over the last month in her life. We snacked on take-out and talked more openly than I could ever remember us doing before. It struck me once again how much being with Edward had brought me to life. The day slipped away into evening without notice, and it wasn't until Ben texted her to ask when she'd be home that we realized how late it had gotten.

"Sheesh, Bella, it's already nine-thirty! Poor Ben, he's probably been at home watching the front door like a puppy," she giggled. "We went so long without seeing each other that we've hardly been apart since he moved back."

"Well then, take me back home so you can put the poor guy out of his misery," I smiled, standing up to get my crutches when I realized she hadn't moved from the couch. "What?"

Her eyes lit up and a broad smile spread across her face. "Nothing. It's just, you called it 'home.' That's really cute."

Feeling my face flush, I shrugged it off. "You know what I meant. It's where I'm living right now. C'mon, bookworm."

Rolling her eyes and walking toward the door, I heard her mutter under her breath, "One tattoo, and you never let it go."

Laughing, we locked up and headed _home_.

.

As I unlocked the front door, I waved at Angela to let her know I was in, and she flashed her lights at me as she pulled away. I expected the house to be mostly quiet when I entered, though I was hoping someone was still awake to help me upstairs. I was not expecting boisterous laughter to be echoing out from the living room.

Limping down the hallway, I stopped short in the doorway, gaping openly at the scene before me. Edward and Carlisle were holding _large_ glasses of an amber-colored liquid, speaking and laughing animatedly with each other.

"And he screamed at me...'No, you idiot, thish ish her husband!'" Carlisle cackled, waving his arm and sloshing his drink everywhere as Edward doubled over in hysterics.

"Oh my," Esme's soft voice sounded from behind me, startling me. Turning around to see her, she was shaking her head in exasperation watching the two of them, her arms holding her robe closed. "You get yours and I'll get mine."

We moved forward into the room, making our presence known, and Edward and Carlisle greeted us sloppily.

"Bella! Eshme!" Carlisle slurred. "Come and join us for a drink!"

_Now I know he's gone, 'cause I can't have alcohol._

"Bella! Baby! Did you have fun today with Anshe…Angle…your friend," Edward smiled lazily at me, stumbling over to me to give me hug. I had to keep my arms on my crutches to keep from buckling under his weight as I glanced over his shoulder at Esme, who was wrestling the nearly empty bottle of scotch out of Carlisle's hands.

"Dear, I think you've had enough," she reasoned, while he shook his head stubbornly like a child.

"No, Eshme," he argued. "This is a day of shelebration. My new daughter is finally shafe and my shon. My shon!" he cried, pulling Edward off of me and throwing an arm around his neck.

"My shon ish in love! Look at him, Eshme! Heeessssoo happy," he grinned.

Edward nodded emphatically. "I am, Bella. Ahmssoo happy. You'rrre so beautiful. Beautiful Bella. Beautiful Beautiful. Hahaha!" he began laughing hysterically, Carlisle joining him.

While Carlisle was distracted in his laughter, Esme was able to get the bottle out of his hand, setting it down at the bar in the corner. She slid with grace back over to him, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Let's leave Edward to his beautiful Bella, dear."

Carlisle clapped in agreement. "Yesh, let'sss let them have their fun. Ooh…I wanna go have fun witsh you, Eshme."

"Just come to bed, Carlisle," Esme whimpered through her laughter, while I snickered into my hand. They left the room, Carlisle stumbling into the walls, and I tried to not let my brain comprehend the fact that he was asking her to play 'doctor.'

Edward swayed in front of me, his eyes drooping, his hair more of a mess than usual, but he was absolutely adorable soused. He grinned drunkenly at me, stumbling over to hug me again.

"Bella, baby, I love you so much. I missed you today. I'm sorry I'm being an ass. I love your ass."

I choked a laugh into his shoulder, cataloging everything he was saying to remind him of tomorrow, because I was fairly certain he wouldn't remember. "C'mon, loverboy. Let's get you to the couch."

He tripped his way over to the sofa, collapsing onto it face first. I covered him with a blanket and started moving over to the window seat to make myself comfortable for the night, since there was no way _he_ was helping me upstairs tonight. As he heard my footsteps on the floor though, he flipped onto his back, looking around wildly.

"What? Where're you going?"

I pointed dumbly to the window seat across the room, but he shook his head, pouting.

"No way. That's unacceptibable. You have to stay with me. Always."

Sighing, I leaned on my crutch. "Edward, I won't fit."

"Sure you will," he laughed. "You're tiny. C'mere."

I hobbled back over to him, and with surprising strength he lifted me by the hips and settled me on my side in the space between him and the back of the couch. Facing me on his side, he smiled lazily at me, sighing with happiness.

"There, see? That's so much better. You fit just right."

Smiling patiently at him, I brushed some of his hair off of his forehead. "I'm afraid to ask how you ended up completely sloshed tonight. How did today go?"

"Shhhh," he shook his head, kissing the tip of my nose. "I don't care about today. S'over. D'you have fun? I had fun wiss my dad."

"I had fun," I chuckled. "Angela and I spent the day at my apartment and then she brought me home. I'll tell you more tomorrow when you can remember it."

He burrowed down into my chest, making a home for himself in between my breasts. "I always remember what you say, baby. I love you. Mmm…I love these, too. They're so comfy."

Biting my lip and rolling my eyes to the ceiling in amused exasperation while he made pillows out of my boobs, I waited until he was settled before I spoke again.

"I love you, Edward. I hope you aren't too hung over tomorrow for our date."

"Pshaw!" he scoffed. "I can't wait to get you alone tomorrow. I'm so glad I can tell you that now."

Confused, I asked, "What are you talking about 'you can tell me now?'"

"Oh, you know," he sighed. "Before, when you were still in the hospital and first came home, I couldn't tell you I wanted to see you naked. But now it's okay."

I threw my hand over my mouth and bit the side of it to keep from bursting out laughing, shaking slightly with the effort it took to hold it in.

"Are you okay, baby? Am I hurting you?" he asked worriedly, lifting his head and trying to focus on me.

"Oh, there's _my_ Edward," I smiled. "I'm fine. Go to sleep now."

He slid up the couch a bit to kiss me goodnight, tasting of scotch, something a little bit salty and adorable drunk boy, making me hum in satisfaction against his lips. They curled into a smile as he pulled away from me, looking down at me with hooded eyes.

"I love you, sweet girl."

"I love you back, baby," I replied, closing my eyes contentedly, drifting off to the sound of Edward snoring into my boobs.

.

**A/N: Really never thought I'd end a chapter with the word 'boobs,' but that's what I get for thinking I guess. I've got an outtake of Edward's day to send out with the teaser for the next part of this chapter.**

**Fic Rec:**

**Across the Universes by Fantasy Mother.-You've never read anything like this. It gives new meaning to the term AU.  
**


	29. Chapter 29 Batman & Other Conversations

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and PMs. I hope you liked the outtake. It's now posted on the companion story on my profile.**

**Beta'ed by bellamarie117. Pre-read by Fantasy Mother**

**Brother: Read it, don't read it, what-the-fuck-ever, just don't tell me. And don't suggest to me again that I replace the word 'come' with 'splooge.' It's not fucking happening.**

**Carry on.**

Chapter 29: Batman and Other Conversations

BPOV

(September 6th)

"Oh my God," Edward groaned. "Who is doing construction this early in the fucking morning?"

Laughing, I stretched slightly, jostling him from his resting place between my breasts. "That's not construction, Edward, that's your brother helping your mom with breakfast."

"Shh, don't yell," he whispered. "Wait…why are we on the couch?"

As he looked up at me, I tried my hardest not to grin at his discomfort. "Edward, how much do you remember of last night?"

He looked so confused, his brows furrowing together in pained thought. "Um…my dad and I were talking about…stuff. And we had some scotch…"

"Ha! Try a whole bottle. When I came home from my place you were in no state to go up any stairs, so we camped out here. Actually, I was going to camp out on the window seat, but you decided, and I quote, 'that was unacceptibable,'" I smirked.

He looked sheepish at first, but then his expression turned horrified. "Oh fuck, Bella. Tell me I didn't try to force you to…"

"No!" I gasped. "Edward, even completely wasted you were still worried about me being comfortable. You just wanted me to lay with you. That's all. I _promise_," I assured him at his dubious look.

"Were you?"

I shook my head at him. "Was I what?"

"Comfortable?" he grimaced, taking in the four inches of space I was pressed into.

"I slept great. How did you sleep?" I giggled, remembering his makeshift 'pillows.'

"Good," he yawned. "Except I've got a million little men dancing in my head right now. Wait…where?" he broke off, realizing his face's close proximity to my chest.

"Oh God," he groaned. "How much of an ass was I last night?"

I busted out laughing. "Not too bad of one, but from what I understand you _love_ mine."

His eyes widened in shock, before he squinted them shut. "I'm going to go back to sleep now. I'll wake up when my embarrassment has faded or when you've forgotten everything I said. Whichever comes first."

"No way, Sleeping Beauty. Your daughter didn't get to see you at all yesterday and she's been bouncing in and out of here since seven. So get off me already," I giggled, dancing my fingertips all over his face to coax him into opening his eyes.

"Five more minutes," he whined.

"I don't think so, bro! B needs to eat!" Emmett yelled before pushing Edward off the couch and onto the floor.

"Ooof!" Edward groaned into the rug. "Goddamn it, Emmett!"

Emmett ignored him, stepping over his body to pick me up off the couch. "C'mon, B. Shake and omelet are a'waiting."

I grimaced. "Emmett, I really need to shower and change. I'm still in yesterday's clothes. Can you take me upstairs? I can probably figure it out myself if you leave me my crutches."

He narrowed his eyes at me, before sighing. "Alright, fine. But I'm not letting you skip your workout if you break your neck."

I saluted him. "Sir, yes, sir."

.

Later that afternoon, Edward took Lily to the park when Rose and Alice showed up to help me get ready for our date. It seemed a little ridiculous to get ready three hours before I went…_somewhere._ None of us knew where, but they were determined to make me look as done up as possible.

"Alice, seriously, do you want me to break my other leg?" I asked her as she held up a five inch stiletto for my right foot. She giggled, tossing the shoe aside.

"No, I'm just slowly wearing you down to agree to something other than Converse," she grinned.

"Oh, Alice," I sighed, looking her dead in the eye. "I'm wearing my sneaker."

"Bella, it's a _date_," Rose explained, as if I was somehow misunderstanding why every piece of clothing I owned was strewn all over my bed.

"Rose, Alice," I soothed, as if they were small children. "Come sit with me for a moment." They followed me to the bed and shoved the clothes out of the way to make room to sit in front of me. Taking them each by the hand, I stroked them softly.

"Girls, I need you to hear what I'm about to say, and really, _really_ try to understand it. Can you do that for me?"

They nodded back hesitantly, looking suspicious and confused.

"_I _am not going on a date with Emmett or Jasper. I am going on a date with _Edward_. He doesn't like the same things that Emmett and Jasper like. And Edward likes me how I am. Not a glitzy, dolled-up version of me. Just Bella. I'm not saying I don't want to look nice for our date, I'm just saying I still want to recognize myself in the mirror when we're done. Can you do that for me?"

They looked at each other and decided something silently, turning back to me and nodded in unison.

Smiling indulgently at them, I said, "So since we're on the same page, I need to talk to you girls about something…_adult…_before Lily runs in here to help me get ready."

They leaned forward, anxious expressions on their faces. Throwing my shoulders back, I looked at them seriously.

"Payback…Alice, you may want to cover your ears for this."

She narrowed her eyes at me before shaking her head. "No, I can compartmentalize. Right now, we are not talking about my brother. Spill."

"Alright," I sang dubiously. "He's been teasing me all week, being all…_dazzly_ and…_Edwardy_…and I've had enough. For once, _I_ want to get the upper hand on _him_. So I need your help…seducing him," I squeaked, throwing a pillow over my face to hide the bright red that was surely there.

Rose pulled the pillow away, staring at me with bright, wide eyes. "You want us to help you have sex with him?"

"No! No!" I shouted, cringing at the volume of my voice. "Not…_sex_…just…something. You see? This is why I need help! I can't even say it! You should have heard me the other night, I was terrifi-" I cut off, realizing my mistake as soon as I opened my big, fat, stupid mouth. Rose's and Alice's eyes lit up the freaking sun with wide, evil smiles spreading across their faces.

"_No, no, no, no, no,_" I moaned, shaking my head furiously as they nodded eagerly in return.

"Oh, _yes, yes, yes, yes_,_ yes,_ Bella," Rose smirked at me. "You're going to tell us. Or we send you out in an evening gown, whore makeup and heels. Well, heel."

"You wouldn't," I bluffed.

She simply raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow in response.

Sighing, I pled with my eyes and begging tone. "Guys, please. That stuff's private. I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry."

"But, Bella," Rose smiled sweetly. "How can we help you seduce him properly if we don't know what you've already done and what you're willing to do?"

Narrowing my eyes at her and clenching my jaw, I gritted out, "How specific are we talking here?"

She laughed at me. "Well, at least tell us what could possibly have terrified you."

Dropping eye contact with both of them, I mumbled through nearly closed lips, "Dirty talk."

Leaning closer, Alice asked, "What? What did you say?"

Feeling embarrassed, I burst out, "Dirty talk! He was…doing stuff to me, and he was talking all kinds of sexy, so when I was doing…stuff to him, I tried to do it back, but the whole time I didn't know if I was doing it right and-"

"Wait," Alice held her hands up in time-out. "Are you saying _Edward_ likes dirty talk? Eww! I cannot compartmentalize that! Too much! Too much!" she squealed.

Rose burst out laughing, smacking Alice with a pillow. "Oh, shut up, Ali." Turning back to me, she shrugged. "Doesn't really surprise me, to be honest. You should hear Emmett. He could make a sailor blush. I wonder if Carlisle has a dirty mouth. I'm pretty sure it's a Cullen men thing."

"Make it stop," Alice moaned, muffled into a pillow, shaking her head back and forth. Seeing Alice feel as embarrassed as I did finally loosened me up, and before I knew it we were all hysterical messes, laughing on top of all my clothes. After several minutes, once we'd all calmed down, Alice sat back and shook her head to rid it of thoughts of her two brothers and possibly father talking dirty.

"Okay. I'm okay. This is about Bella…So talking dirty makes you nervous. What about when you're naked in front of him?" she asked, all business now.

I squirmed. "We haven't, uh…we haven't actually seen each other naked yet."

Rose and Alice jumped off the bed and ran to the dresser immediately.

"We're fixing that tonight," Rose vowed, digging around through my underwear drawer. My eyebrows shot up to my hairline.

"Really?" I squeaked. They both whirled around, worried expressions on their faces.

"Unless you're not comfortable with that, Bella," Rose said slowly. "Do you feel ready for that? Sometimes it's easy to forget what you've been through when it feels like you've been a part of the family all along."

"No," I began. "I actually think I would feel comfortable in front of him. The way he looks at me, it's like I'm the only woman he sees sometimes."

I considered telling them how he had kissed each of my scars individually the night we explored each other, but it felt too private, too personal. Discussing first base and sex positions was one thing. Parts of that night were something else entirely.

"He thinks every part of me is beautiful." I settled on that.

They were like two halves of a whole. They both melted instantly and ran forward to throw their arms around my neck.

"Aww!" Alice squealed.

"That is the sweetest damn thing…" Rose sniffed.

Pulling back, I wiped a stray tear from my eye, blushing. "I feel beautiful when he looks at me," I admitted.

Alice shook her head at me. "Bella, you're always beautiful. But I'm so happy you two have each other."

"She's right," Rose nodded. "And tonight you'll feel beautiful whether his eyes are on you or not. And you'll still feel like you, I promise."

Alice nodded in agreement before walking back over to the bureau, Rose trailing behind her.

"Oh," Alice breathed as she opened the top drawer. "This is it."

.

About an hour later, I was sufficiently plucked, shaved, powdered, and moisturized. I made them wait for Lily to get here to pick my dress, but I was all ready in the undergarments they had picked, wearing my robe as we waited for Lily and Edward to get back from the park. She burst into the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Can't let Daddy see yet!" she grinned, clapping when she saw my hair and makeup. "You look so pretty, Bella! I wish I could come," she pouted.

"Next time, okay?" I promised.

She nodded, running over to the bed and digging through the clothes there. "What are you gonna wear?" she asked.

I tilted my head, looking down at her. "I was hoping _you _would help me pick something out."

"Really?" her whole face lit up. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!

She began tossing clothes left and right, a miniature red-headed version of Alice. After several minutes of destruction to my room, I finally asked her, "Lily? Is there something specific you're looking for?"

"Mm-hmm," was her only reply, as she was half-buried in a pile of dresses.

Rose was snickering into her hand, but Alice was brave enough to approach her cautiously.

"Lily? Maybe if you tell us exactly what you're looking for, we can help you find it," she offered hopefully.

"No thanks….Aha!" she emerged victorious, a _small_, yellow dress in her hand. "Yellow! Like Belle!"

"It's a little, uh, on the short side, Lily," I argued weakly.

She held it up against her body and looked back up at me shaking her head innocently. "No it's not, Bella."

Sighing, I reached out for it. "I'll try it on, okay?"

When I reemerged from the bathroom, all the girls in the room gasped in delight, nodding their heads in approval.

"Are you sure?" I winced.

"It's _perfect_," Lily assured me. "Let's pick your shoes."

She started to reach for heels, but I stopped her. "Flats only, okay Little Thing? Casts and heels don't mix. Actually, to be honest, Bellas and heels don't mix."

She giggled, picking up a pair of light brown ballet flats. "These are pretty."

I almost sighed in relief. "Those will be fine, sweetie."

I slipped the right shoe on and crutched my way to bed, scooting over a pile of sweaters to haul my cast up onto the comforter. Rose and Alice had a large purse and were doing…_something._

"What are you guys doing over there?" I called out.

Not even turning around from my dresser, they sang, "Nothing!"

I went from curious to suspicious as soon as they wandered into the bathroom and…_shut the door?_

"Lily, do you know what they're doing?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "No, I'm four."

Laughing, I motioned for her to come sit beside me and curl up. "What are you going to do while me and Daddy go out?"

"Sleepover," she replied simply. "Me n' everybody's gonna watch a movie and stuff. What are you n' Daddy gonna do?"

"I don't know," I smiled. "But we'll have fun."

"How do you know it's gonna be fun if you don't know what you're doing?" she frowned.

"Because…I just know," I nodded.

"Are you gonna go see the Frog Princess movie? 'Cause if you are, I wanna go!" she scowled.

"I _know_ that's not where we're going. Would you like that to be the next date? We all go see a movie together?"

She grinned, nodding excitedly. "Yeah. It's a date."

She snuggled into my side and we enjoyed a rare moment alone. I could almost count down the seconds before she wouldn't be able to take the silence anymore.

_3…2…1…_

"Bella?"

"Yes, sweetie?" I chuckled.

"My daddy loves me like King Triton loves Ariel," she stated.

"Yes," I agreed, trying to follow.

Scooting away from me, she faced me on the bed. "And my daddy loves _you_ like Prince Eric loves Ariel."

"Yeah," I answered, a bit more hesitantly.

Squinting at me carefully, she stated again, "You love my daddy like Ariel loves Prince Eric."

I nodded silently, totally lost.

"So what do you love _me_ like?"

_Gulp._

Never in my life had I wished more for a perfectly timed knock on the door or interruption that in that moment. Running my fingers through my hair and then catching myself for picking up on one of Edward's habits, I looked into her eyes and said the only thing that could come to mind.

"I love you like a Bella loves her Little Thing."

She watched me closely, her head cocked and her eyes locked. "Okay." She climbed back up the bed and crawled into my lap to hug me, and I held her tightly to me. Rose and Alice _finally_ came out of the bathroom, smiling at the two of us.

"We'll go tell Edward that you're ready. Okay, Bella?" Alice asked, her eyes shining.

I nodded, not moving from my spot with Lily as they left to go find him.

"Are you going to be okay tonight, Lily?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah," she chirped. "I've gots Snuffles and Nana Renee's bad dream dolls and all my family. 'Cept for you n' Daddy. But if I call you to say goodnight, is that okay?"

"I would really like that," I smiled, hugging her tighter to me. The door creaked and I looked up to see Edward smiling at us, holding two white daisies in his hand, looking amazing as always. He was dressed simply in a white t-shirt and jeans, his hair wild as ever, faded gray Converse on his feet.

_I'm a little jealous of his feet right now._

He walked forward, handing a daisy to me and to Lily, which made her beam brightly.

"Thank you, Daddy!" she exclaimed as she jumped off the bed to hang on his neck.

"You didn't think I'd forget my princess, did you?" he laughed, hugging her to him.

She grinned widely at him as Rose and Alice entered into my room. He took note of the state of my bed for the first time, automatically raising his eyebrows at Rose and Alice.

"Uh-uh," Alice insisted. "This was _not _all us. Hurricane Lily helped, thank you very much."

Lily grinned at him proudly. "Bella let me pick her dress, Daddy! It's yellow, like Belle!"

"She looks beautiful, Lily. She always does," he smiled, his eyes locked on mine. He asked softly, "Are you ready?"

"I don't know where I'm going," I laughed. "But I hope so."

Turning back to Rose and Alice, he moved Lily to his hip to hold a hand out to grab the bag in Alice's hand. "Have you got everything?"

_What is in there?_

Alice nodded quickly. "Yeah, she's all set."

My jaw dropped. "You two _knew_!"

Rose laughed, rolling her eyes at me. "Of course we knew, Bella. We required facts to know how you should dress, and he required our help so he could keep it a surprise. Win/win."

"For you!" I exclaimed, laughing. "I still have no idea what's going on."

"C'mon and I'll show you, love," Edward smiled, passing Lily to Rose so he could pick me up off the bed. He gave me a soft, chaste kiss before carrying me downstairs. Alice brought my crutches down, giving them to me as Edward set me down.

"Thanks. To all three of you. For helping me get ready and…everything."

"Will you tell me all about your date tomorrow?" Lily bounced in Rose's arms.

Grinning at her, I nodded, until I caught Rose and Alice waggling their eyebrows at me suggestively, making me flush all over.

_Maybe not __**all **__about our__ date…_

Edward caught their funny looks and narrowed his eyes at them and then me, but we masked our faces to look as innocent as possible, though I could feel mine still burning. Taking Lily from Rose, he gave her a big hug and kiss before setting her down on her feet. She hugged my legs tightly, beaming up at me.

"I can call and say goodnight?" she confirmed.

Nodding again, I smiled in delight when Edward scooped her up so she could reach my cheek to kiss me goodbye. With my mystery purse tucked under his arm, we walked out to his Volvo, waving at Lily once more as she stood in the doorway before we pulled away.

"So do I get to know now?" I asked eagerly.

He pretended to think it over for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah."

"Can I have just one clue?"

He sent a devilish sideways glance at me before snarking, "Colonel Mustard, rope, study. There, that's three."

_You'll get yours, Cullen._

.

After about fifteen minutes, we pulled in front of a two-story brownstone in a neighborhood I'd never been through before, but recognized that the area was fairly close to my apartment. Before I could ask where we were or what we were doing here, he was out of the car and walking around to open my door. He smiled down at me, looking nervous, so I bit my tongue to keep from barking out questions at him. Whatever he was doing, he was as unsure of it as our first date.

Before I could worry about the stairs leading up to the front door, he had pulled me bodily out of the car and was carrying me up the steps.

"I'll go back and get your crutches and purse. Just wait here, okay?"

Smiling confusedly back at him, I shrugged. "Where else am I going to go?"

"Right," he laughed nervously. "Okay, I'll be right back."

He flew to the car and back quickly, his hand shaking slightly as he tried to fit the key in…

"Is this _your_ house, Edward?" I asked as I put the pieces together.

The keys fell from his hand and he turned to look at me, his expression worried. "Yeah. I mean, is that okay? I know I said I'd take you out, but I got to thinking that I didn't know if you'd want to go out to a restaurant full of people, so I thought here would be good, and I had Rose and Ali pack a bag for you to be comfortable if it got late, but I started thinking that maybe you'd think I was bringing you here to…so we could…and that's not why," he sputtered until I placed a finger against his lips.

"Open the door, Edward."

"Right," he nodded, bending down to retrieve his keys and opening the door hastily. He motioned for me to go first, so I hobbled through the doorway into his house that had Esme's decorating influence apparent all over it. It looked clean, but lived in. Lily's framed artwork adorned the walls making the whole place just feel like a _home_.

"It's beautiful, Edward," I turned to smile at him to find him watching me with a slightly glazed look in his eye. He shook out of his daze and beamed back at me, finally with a real smile free of nerves.

"Do you want dinner or a tour first?"

My stomach growled embarrassingly loud, answering his question for him. He laughed, walking forward and slowly pulling my crutches away, holding me up as he set them against the wall. Running his hand up my body gently until he cradled my face, he gazed down into my eyes. As I clutched onto his arms for support, he leaned down and brought his lips to mine, softly at first, then more firmly as the kiss deepened. By the time we broke apart, I was gasping for air and his chest was heaving against mine.

"That," he panted, "is how I wanted to say hello to you earlier."

"I like hellos," I breathed unthinkingly. He chuckled, handing my crutches back to me and guiding me to the kitchen. I found a seat at the small, round table in there, noting the silverware, candles, and flowers, but distinct lack of food.

"So, here's the thing," he began, his voice taking on that nervous shakiness again. "I was planning on cooking you dinner here, but it turns out I still can't exactly go inside a grocery store. I figured that out a little late in the day, so I couldn't have my mom go for me. So…I was wondering what your feelings were on takeout?"

My heart melted and tears stung my eyes at the sight of him, so embarrassed and unsure, as if I could actually be upset with him. Trying my best to not ruin our date by bursting into tears, I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "I am definitely pro-takeout."

He looked more at ease instantly and leaned down to give me a quick peck on the lips. With a crooked grin, he opened a drawer that was overflowing with takeout menus. Grabbing a handful, he dropped them in front of me on the table. "Take your pick."

Sifting through them, I was a little overwhelmed by all the choices. "Anything in particular you're in the mood for?"

Pointing to himself and smirking, he answered, "Male."

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I reached out blindly for a menu and picked it up. "Here, we're having…pizza."

"Is that really what you want?"

I smiled cheerfully, shrugging. "Sure. I haven't had pizza in forever."

"Remind me to tell you about the last time I had pizza after I order. What do you want on it?" he grinned.

"Anything but anchovies," I answered back simply. He nodded and called the order in, then proceeded to tell me about how Esme had to order secret pizzas after Renee tried to make Eggplant Enchiladas.

_I __**told**__ her you can't mix those._

By the time the pizza arrived, he seemed to finally be satisfied that I wasn't disappointed with being at his house and he visibly relaxed. We talked all through dinner, always finding new things to learn about each other. More than once I saw him repeating my dislikes under his breath to himself, as if he were trying to make himself remember for future reference. It was nice to see I wasn't the only one.

We had a lot in common, along with some glaring differences that would make for some very interesting conversations in the future.

"How can you not think Michael Keaton is the best Batman?" he asked incredulously, and if I wasn't mistaken, a little disgusted. "He's the _original_, Bella."

"Actually," I matched his tone, "Adam West is the original, and there's no way you're going to try and tell me _he's_ the best just because he wore the cape first. Christian Bale is _way_ better than Michael Keaton. He's dark, broody, haunted-"

"Handsome?" Edward spat, sounding just a little bit jealous, so I decided to play along.

"Oh, he's sooo handsome," I swooned. He narrowed his eyes in response, which made me roll mine. "Seriously, Edward. Michael Keaton was _Mr. Mom_. There is nothing dark and haunted about a guy that rocks an apron."

"He. Was. _Beetlejuice_," Edward hissed, as if this were the end-all to my argument.

"_American Psycho_," I shot back.

"What-the-fuck-ever," he scoffed. "That douche was _Teddy_."

My jaw dropped, our argument forgotten. "You've seen _Little Women_?"

His eyes widened in shock and he rose quickly to put our plates in the sink. While he rinsed them clean, he called over his shoulder in a voice a bit higher than usual, "I got a movie for us to watch if you're interested."

Waiting until he turned around, I struggled to keep a straight face. "Is it by chance…_Little Women?_"

"No," he scowled. "It was Alice's favorite movie when she was a kid, alright? Now stop picking on me or I'll turn on MMA fights for the rest of the night to prove my masculinity."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Do you really watch those?"

Smirking back at me, he shook his head. "No, but I will if you don't start being nicer to me."

"What movie _did_ you get?" I asked warily.

Smiling proudly at me, he announced, "_Big Fish._"

"Of course you did," I laughed, throwing my hands up in mock exasperation. "How did you find out my favorite movie?"

"A gentleman _never_ reveals his secrets, Bella," he said seriously.

"Fine," I sighed. "But I hope whoever it was that told you it was my favorite also warned you that I'm going to cry like a little baby at the end."

His eyes swept up my exposed legs and over my body until he finally met my flushed face. "I'll just have to distract you, then."

.

"I like distractions," I sighed, making him chuckle against my lips as he slowly pulled back. Noticing the menu on the screen, I scrunched my nose in surprised confusion. "How long do you think the movie's been over?"

"Don't know, don't care," he smiled. "I _am_ tempted to replay the last scene, though. Again and again and again…" he punctuated with small kisses all over my face.

Laughing, I pushed at his chest. "Off. You're squishing me."

He really was. Somehow while kissing, I had ended up lying down on the couch with him on top of me, but now that I wasn't _distracted_, I realized I could scarcely breathe. He sat up, pulling me upright with him as his phone rang. Fishing it out of his pocket, he smiled as he glanced down at the screen.

"Perfect timing. This must be Lily…Hello?

"Hi, princess. Are you having fun?

"That's good. Are you being a good girl for Nana and Papaw?

"Yes, we're having fun. We're…watching a movie, too." I giggled at his hesitation and he narrowed his eyes at me, poking me in the stomach.

"Okay, princess. I love you.

"What? Oh, yeah…Here," he held the phone out to me. "She wants to say goodnight to you."

Smiling, I took the phone from him. "Hi, Lily!"

"_Bella! I'm playing dress-up. Everybody is. We're going to make a show._"

"That sounds like so much fun, sweetie. I hope Nana Esme takes pictures so I can see."

"_She always takes pictures. I wanna go play now. I love you! Bye!_"

"I love you, too. Bye, sweetie." Pulling the phone away from my ear, I gave it back to him. "I'm pretty sure she hung up before she heard that."

He nodded in mock sympathy. "I remember the day _I _found out I came second-best to dress-up…You ready for that tour now?"

I nodded excitedly, sitting up straighter. His eyes twinkled as he helped me up and placed my crutches under my arms.

"Well, you've seen the kitchen and the living room. The only other room down here is the second living room, which is really just a playroom with my piano in a corner. There's a very good chance you'd trip on a stray toy, so I think I should probably show you that room another time."

I flipped him off which made him laugh loudly as he motioned for me to follow him to the staircase in the front hallway.

"We've had plenty of practice at this," he joked, taking my crutches and setting them aside so he could pick me up like he'd done a hundred times before. "Don't you ever get tired of turning me into your personal pack mule?"

"No, I really don't. Carry on," I replied airily, waving my hand up the stairs.

His laugh shook my body against his chest as he reached the top of the stairs and set me down on my feet.

"Let me go get your crutches and your bag," he said, before reconsidering his words and running his hands through his hair in a way that looked almost painful. "Um, not that you have to change into anything, and knowing Alice, whatever she packed could be mistaken for dental floss, so I can give you a t-shirt. Or some sweats. I mean 'and!' A t-shirt _and_ some sweats. And if you're not comfortable in my room, I've got a spare room, and there's also Lily's room. I can take you back to my parents if you want to, also, we don't have to stay here…"

_I think he's going to hyperventilate._

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella," he grimaced.

"Please go get my bag so I can change and sleep with you in your bed…And shut up."

His posture relaxed and he pulled me away from the wall into a big hug. "I'm sorry. You…you're the only woman besides family that's ever been here, and…I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm so afraid I'll mess this up."

Pulling back slightly to look him in the eye, I shook my head. "Edward, I'm not keeping score or grading you…Would you think I was crazy if I said I'm _glad_ you don't know what you're doing?"

Furrowing his brow in confusion, he asked, "Why?"

"Because," I shrugged, looking down at his chest. "It makes me not feel so stupid for not knowing what I'm doing either. Like we're on an even playing field…And in a slightly shallow, admittedly egotistical way, it makes me feel good to know you like me enough to try and have a relationship with me when you haven't with anyone else before now."

Tilting my face up with his finger, he gazed down on me. "For the record, I don't just 'like you enough to try.' I _love _you enough to make this work no matter what. You are my life now. You and Lily…I'll go get your bag and then I'll show you the upstairs rooms before helping you to mine so you can change. Okay?"

I nodded, leaning back against the wall for support. He pounded down and up the stairs quickly, my bag and crutches in tow. He briefly showed me the guest room and his study, and was about to open what I assumed was Lily's room when he stopped.

"Could we wait for this one? Let her be the one to show it to you? I want to see her in it when I open this door…" he trailed off.

Nodding quickly, I smiled reassuringly. "I want to see her in it, too."

Giving me a quick, thankful grin, he led me down to the end of the hallway, gesturing for me to enter in front of him into a modern-looking bedroom done in dark browns and crisp whites.

"So this is where the magic happens, huh?" I joked, making him groan.

"You've been hanging out with Emmett too much," he laughed, shaking his head. "And I think I've already made it very clear that _no_ magic has _ever_ happened here."

I was hoping to change that in the very near future. Trying to steel myself and remember Rose and Alice's words of advice and encouragement, I crutched my way over to the bed and sat down to slip off my shoe. From the corner of my eye I could see him standing frozen in the middle of the room, my bag held tightly against his chest as he watched me. Breathing deeply in and out once more, I stood up slowly and turned to face him, looking him straight in the eye.

Reaching for the zipper on the side of my dress, I gave it a purposefully ineffective tug before twisting my hands behind my back to hide my nerves.

"Can you help me with my dress?" I asked softly.

He stared holes into the side of my dress where the zipper lay, visibly gulping. He nodded silently, stalking forward, never taking his eyes from the zipper. After he set my bag on the edge of the bed, he met my eyes as he pulled the zipper down slowly, his fingertips ghosting over my skin before he drew his hand back shakily.

"There you go," he whispered. "Do you want me t-"

His voice caught in his throat as I let the dress fall, revealing my body to him as I stood in nothing but a pair of nude lace boyshorts.

_Goooo power panties!_

I could see the struggle in his eyes as he fought to keep them on my face. Shifting back on my right foot carefully, I pretended to ignore him as I reached into the bag on the bed, almost sighing in relief when I saw what Alice had packed away. Pulling out his t-shirt and unrolling it, I slipped it over my head, revealing his name on my back to him as I turned away to pull my hair out from under the collar, smiling to myself as I heard his breath hitch. Turning around slowly, my heartbeat and breath quickened at the sight of him, standing there with his fists clenched at his sides, his eyes dancing from my face to my legs to my chest, as if he couldn't stay focused on just one part. He was looking at me like I was something to eat.

I could only hope.

"I had a dream like this once," he rasped, his voice hardly above a whisper.

I shook my head gently, whispering back, as if too much sound would break the spell over us. "But you're not dreaming. I'm real. Come here. Feel me."

He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them I saw relief, awe, and then fear wash over him. "I don't know…I don't know if I can control myself, Bella. I can't let myself lose control with you."

"You won't hurt me. I want you, Edward. I _need _you. Please."

Something in him snapped and his eyes flared with fire and lust as he pulled me to him swiftly, his grip around my waist firm and hungry. He captured my lips almost roughly, my mouth opening to him automatically as his tongue moved against mine. With his other hand supporting me at the neck, I surrendered control of the kiss to him as I reveled in my body's response to him and his to mine. He was pressed hard against my stomach, my body humming with excitement and anticipation.

Ripping his mouth away from mine, his voice was low, almost a growl. "Do you have any idea what it does to me to see you like this? The amount of strength it's taking me to not rip this shirt from your body and throw you on my bed? Do you have _any_ fucking idea how much I want you?"

Very slowly, I coyly shook my head, pouting my kiss-swollen lips at him.

_Rose would be so proud._

He chuckled darkly. "Well then, I suppose I'm just going to have to show you, Isabella."

_He used the full name. This is going to be a good night._

He guided me back a few feet to the bed until the edge hit my knees. Pushing me to sit, I swallowed hard as he reached a hand behind his neck and pulled his t-shirt off. He kicked off his shoes and socks, my eyes transfixed on his like a bird to a snake. He flicked the buttons of his fly open, leaving his jeans to hang loosely on his hips as he began to stalk toward me like a predator.

He narrowed his eyes at me as I scooted up the bed, every movement he made forward matched by one back from me, until my head reached the headboard and he was sitting back on his knees between my legs. His shirt was long enough to cover me, but the way he was staring down at me made me feel more exposed than I ever had in my life. Picking up my right leg, he turned his attention to my ankle as he dropped small kisses, moving upward.

"I _thought_," he began in a husky tone, "that I had made it clear how much I worshipped and adored you." He continued placing soft kisses up my calf, making me shudder as he reached the underside of my knee and dragged his tongue along the skin there. "I'm disappointed to find that is not the case."

"I'm sorry," I squeaked as he made his way up my thigh, slowly bringing my leg back down to the mattress as he stared down at me with mischievous eyes.

"Don't be sorry," he taunted, running his nose over my shirt and up the side of my body. "It's obviously my fault for not paying proper attention to you." I gasped as he ran the flat of his tongue over my breast, making me wish I had never put this stupid shirt on to begin with. When he reached my shoulder, he began trailing kisses down my arm to my wrist, nipping at it gently. "So I'll just have to make sure I take my time tonight until you finally understand."

"Um…" I sighed as he moved his attention to the other arm, taking small bites in places I didn't know could feel that good. "I think I understand."

"Mmm," he hummed into my neck, kissing and licking his way up and down each side. "I don't think you do, sweet girl. I think I'm going to have to be _very_ thorough."

I whimpered as he slid his hands down my body, playing with the bottom hem of my shirt. "Please," I begged.

My plea sparked something in his eyes and he swallowed visibly. "Can I take this off, love?"

Nodding to him, he lifted me up with one hand behind my back while stripping me of his shirt, leaving me bare before him once more. His eyes swept over me, his gaze hungry and wanting. He slid his hands over the lace on my hips, continuing up to my ribcage, tracing the outline of my lily tattoo with his fingertips.

"You were meant for us, Bella."

I nodded slowly, completely hypnotized by him. "I love you," I whispered.

Leaning forward, he placed his palms on either side of my head. "Every part," he whispered back before bringing his lips down to meet mine. My hands were everywhere, desperate to feel every inch of him under my fingertips, sliding over his arms, his chest, his back, up his neck into his hair, twisting his strands as tight as I dared. He moaned deeply into my mouth, rolling onto his side next to me. I pulled at his jeans in desperation, frustrated at the obstacle between us.

He followed my urging, pushing them down and kicking them off, our kiss a hungry clash of tongues and teeth. His hands slid back up my body, leaving a trail of fire as he found my breasts. As raw as his touch felt, he never felt rough or sloppy. In every caress I could feel his love, though I could also feel the evidence of his lust between us.

Scratching my fingernails down his back, I was pleased to make _him_ shudder for once before I splayed my palms against his lower back and pushed him against me, making him groan. He reached down and ran his fingers just inside the lace covering me.

"Can I…"

I nodded quickly, lying flat as he sat up and slipped my panties down my legs, trying not to laugh when they got stuck around the top of my stupid cast. My quiet giggles stopped however, when he simply ripped them off and tossed them to the side. He narrowed his eyes at me as he lay down beside me and hitched my leg over his waist, turning me to face him.

"You're not supposed to be laughing right now, Isabella."

_Oh shit._

"I'm sorry," I squeaked again, losing my voice completely when he tentatively touched me for the first time, his eyes flaring a dangerous jade as he felt the wetness there. He stroked down my folds lightly, sliding one finger in gently before withdrawing it and searching my face intently.

"Is this okay?" he whispered.

As I nodded, my eyes rolled back into my head and fluttered shut when he pumped his finger back inside me, making me gasp as he added another. I held his face between my hands, kissing him hungrily as he continued pumping me, moaning into his mouth. My hands slid around to his hair as he pushed me back gently, kissing down my neck and taking small bites at my skin.

"Is this what you were hoping for when you put on that little show for me earlier, baby?" he whispered, working his way down to my breasts. "Did you want to drive me so crazy I would have no choice but to lay you down and make you come? _Answer me_."

"Um…_oh_," I moaned loudly as he began rubbing his thumb across my clit. "Am I in trouble if I say yes?"

He let out a low, dark laugh. "Depends on your point of view, love. If you think me teasing you and fucking you with my fingers until you're begging me to come is trouble, then yeah, I'd say you're in trouble."

"_Oh my God_," I whimpered as he played my body like I was his piano, building me up in a crescendo and then pulling back, over and over again, until I was a sweating, panting mess beneath him.

"Edward. Please. _Please_," I begged, not even caring that I probably sounded completely pathetic and whorish, moaning and writhing on his bed.

"Please what, baby? More? Stop? What do you want?" he asked, his voice deep and taunting.

"Please," I gasped. "Please let me come."

"_Fuck_," he groaned, moving faster and rubbing against my clit harder. "You're so beautiful like this. Come for me, Isabella. _Now_."

I cried out as I _finally_ came, my orgasm washing over me in wave after wave, until I was completely spent and limp. He gently pulled his fingers out of me, wiping his hand off quickly with a tissue from his nightstand before lying back down beside me. I was still trying to recover, breathing hard and shivering slightly as the air hit my sweaty skin.

"Hey. You're cold," he observed, reaching over me for his shirt and slipping it over my head. "Better?"

Instead of answering him, I noticed the outline of his cock straining prominently against his boxer briefs and I decided it was my turn. I remembered Rose's blunt-as-always advice.

_If you don't want to say something stupid, you know how to keep your mouth busy._

Swinging my right leg over his waist, I rolled myself on top of him, resting just above his erection.

"Much better," I smiled as I ground down on him slowly. His eyes rolled shut as I leaned forward to drop kisses down his neck and chest, slowly working my way down. With some awkward maneuvering that he thankfully didn't seem to notice, I began pulling down his boxers once I moved myself beside his knees.

His eyes flew open, watching me slip his boxers off of his legs. He let out a deep groan and threw his head back as I pumped him a few times with my hand, before I leaned down and licked him once from base to tip.

"Oh, _shit_! Fuck, Bella! What are you doing?" he breathed.

Lifting my head up and cocking it to the side, I kept stroking him in my hand. "Is this a trick question? I thought I told you, Edward. I want to taste you _everywhere_."

I heard his hands fly back and hit the headboard as I lowered my head again and took him into my mouth, going down as deep as I could. Bobbing my head up and down as I used my hand on the rest of him, I reached up with my left hand to scratch my nails down his chest, making him groan loudly.

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ. Argh!" he yelled, his fist hitting the headboard again as I sucked hard on his head, twisting my tongue around. "God, that feels fucking amazing. _Ungh_, don't stop, please don't stop."

I opened my eyes to see his head thrown back, his fists wrapped tightly around the slats of the headboard. His chest was heaving, the muscles in his chest and abs tensed. He was completely lost in what I was doing and it made me feel so powerful to know I was making him feel this way and that he was mine. I moaned around him, making him hiss sharply. "Oh God…move, I'm gonna come…Bella…_fuck_!" When he realized I wasn't moving, he let go, releasing down my throat as I swallowed and tried not to gag. I was a little out of practice with this.

I released him from my mouth slowly, letting my hair fall in my face to shield myself from his view. Before I could blink, I was pulled up by my arms to lie beside him. He kissed me hard, though I was careful to keep my mouth closed until I could brush my teeth, which I hoped would be soon.

He pulled back slightly, holding my face in his hands like I was something precious. "That was…unbelievably amazing…you…_Jesus_," he panted, punctuating each pause with a kiss.

I felt my face heat as I smiled shyly back at him. "I'm just going to go the bathroom for a minute to…er…"

His eyes widened and he nodded quickly. "Right. Here…I'll just…" he trailed off as he hurriedly found his boxers and slipped them back on. Rising quickly, he leaned down and scooped me up, carrying me to the bathroom and setting me down in front of his counter. While he got my bag, I noticed his shower for the first time.

_Jacuzzi tub, multiple shower heads, temperature controls, bench…_

As he set my bag down on the counter, I murmured, "I'm leaving you for your shower."

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he chuckled, "I will kick that shower's ass _right_ now…"

Laughing, I leaned back into his embrace. "No need for violence, Cullen. You could always share me."

Tightening his hold around me, he whispered, "I don't share what's mine."

Turning my head to face him, I nodded. "I _am _yours."

"I know," he nodded back. "Just like I'm yours." He gave me a quick kiss before pulling back and turning to the counter. We brushed our teeth together, side-by-side, and it felt like something we'd done a hundred times before with each other. It was utterly domestic and simple and meaningless, but it felt so normal and _right_ to spit my toothpaste into the sink after him. After our routines were finished, he carried me back to bed.

I scooted over to make room for him and looked up to find him watching me curiously.

"What?" I asked, bemused.

"You look good in my bed," he smirked, climbing in beside me.

Rolling my eyes, I curled over into my side to face him in the darkness. "It's a comfy bed."

"So you like it here?" he smiled.

"Yeah," I answered honestly. "It feels very…homey."

He was silent for a moment before he spoke again. "Do you like it enough to live here?" he asked quietly.

"What?" I breathed.

Pulling my hand into his own, he clasped it tightly between us. "I want to throw something out there, and I just want you to think about it, okay? No pressure, no answer right now, no nothing."

"Okay," I whispered, my heart taking off with a thunderous beat.

He kissed my hand in his once before he began. "You and I…we had a difficult start. But we came together and like you said, we've made something beautiful come out of a really fucking horrible thing. I know most relationships usually follow a certain pattern, but we're playing with our own rulebook here. We said 'I love you' before our first date, we've experienced life together in a way that people that have known each other for decades never do. Technically speaking, it probably sounds crazy to anyone else that we could love each other as we do after only a few weeks, but anyone who's seen us together knows it at first sight."

Moving over and kissing away the tears leaking out of my eyes against my will, he whispered against my forehead. "We've become a family, the three of us, and we've got another month together before we have to go back to real life. In some ways that feels like forever, and in other ways it seems like not nearly enough time. And that's why I can't stand the thought of saying goodbye to you in a month. Not because I can't function without you, or Lily can't be apart from you, but because we don't _want_ to. I don't _want _to only see you a few hours a week. On nights when I can be home for dinner, I _want_ for you to be here with us.

"I'm not asking you to step in as housewife and play stay-at-home mom, I know you work. You're brilliant and I'd never ask you to set that aside to take care of her. She can still stay with my mom during the day, we'll just be able to be together every evening if you're there. And if you ever want to have some time with her during the day, I want you to be able to be with Lily when I can't._ You_ are the piece I never knew was missing. So I'd like you to consider moving in with us after your cast is off and you're ready to move home."

I breathed in and out shakily, bracing myself as I felt each emotion that coursed through me rather than pushing them aside like I was wont to do. Before I could respond, he continued, drawing back so he could look me in the eye.

"I don't want an answer today. Whatever you decide, I want you to _really_ think about it. Because if you're not one-hundred percent sure, I don't want you to do it. Neither one of us want to put Lily through that. Either way, we'll make this work. I've got a year left in my residency and after that, I'll have normal hours. Don't think that if you decide to stay at your apartment that'll be the end of us. You…you're _it_ for me, Bella. But I need for you to promise me that whatever you decide, it'll be what _you _want, and no one else. Just think about it, and we won't talk about it again unless you bring it up. Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered. "I'll think about it."

He smiled, leaning over and kissing me briefly. "Do you want to try and get some sleep?"

Sniffling, I nodded. "Will you be alright with your regular pillows? Or should I fluff my chest for you?"

"_God_," he groaned. "You're never going to let me live last night down, are you?"

"Please," I snorted. "I haven't even begun. It'll be years before I'm done with that one. Years."

Rolling me over and spooning me against him, he swept my hair off my neck to leave a soft kiss there. "I'll hold you to that, love."

.

**A/N: A little shorter than usual, but next chapter's a beast. Catch you next Monday. Review if you please.**


	30. Chapter 30 It All Led Up To This

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Note about FGB at the bottom. Thank you to bellamarie117 for beta'ing this monstrosity, thank you to Fantasy Mother for pre-reading on a daily basis and helping me through tricky bits, thank you to songster for always lending her multi-faceted professional ear. Voting for the All-Human Twilight Fanfiction Awards begins tomorrow. Lots of fics are nominated, including my own, so check it out and cast your vote for your favorite!**

**http :/ twilightallhumanawards . webs . com/**

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**To Brother: Why do you insist on telling everyone, namely our 85 and 91 yr old grandfathers about my story?**

**To Sister: Because it is the most efficient way to make you miserable while I am busy with other things.**

**To Brother: You and I both know you have no 'other things' going on in your life. Why do continue to read the scenes I tell you not to?**

**To Sister: I'm not going to act naïve just because you want me to be.**

**To Brother: It has nothing to do with you acting or being naïve. Doesn't it gross you out to read sex scenes your **_**sister **_**wrote?**

**To Sister: Not as gross your face. BAM!**

**To Brother: OMG, you're a fucking idiot. It is a wonder to me that with your charm, wit, and genius rhetoric you are still single. **

**To Sister: I'm surprised you haven't come to me for ideas for some of Edward's romantic dialogue. I can make that guy sound like a 16 year old picking up his first date.**

**To Brother: And you were how old again when you got your first date? BURN!**

**To Sister: I was too smart for high school girls when I was there. There were a few young substitute teachers I didn't need to take on dates.**

**To Brother: So your excuse for being single now is…?**

**To Sister: Lynyrd Skynyrd – **_**Freebird**_

**To Brother: Lord knows you can't change. Once an idiot, always an idiot. Dostoyevsky wrote a book on it. Check it out.**

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**r O l L e R c O a S t E r W a R n I n G**

Chapter 30: It All Led Up To This

EPOV

(September 9th)

"How's your leg feel?" I asked Bella as we drove with Lily away from the hospital to Siobhan's office.

"Just as fine as it did five minutes ago when you asked me for the fourth time," she sighed, reaching over to place her hand on top of mine on the gear shift. I met her eyes as I pulled up to a stop light and she smiled understandingly back at me. "It'll be okay."

I wasn't sure. Today was the first session for the three of us. Tomorrow was our first dual session and I was hoping beyond hope that Bella would bring up the moving-in issue. I had kept my promise and not brought it up since Friday, but it was killing me to not know what she thought about it. It was fast, yes, but I knew what I wanted and that was her.

It felt like this entire week would be spent at Siobhan's, though we were skipping our individual sessions to have a family session with everyone on Wednesday, me with my family in the morning, Bella with hers in the afternoon. I'd been increasingly on edge around Lily ever since Siobhan warned of an impending explosion toward me, afraid to say or do anything that might be remotely upsetting to her. By Saturday evening, she had become so bored with me she decided to spend all of Sunday playing with Charlie, because 'Daddy's being weird or something.'

So I had turned my attention and worry to Bella, especially after Emmett threw a fit when he weighed her and found out she'd lost two pounds. Since then we had been men on a mission, setting timers on our watches to make sure she ate and drank an adequate number of calories throughout the day. She had tried to be patient and indulgent for us, but she had drawn the line when I tried to wake her up in the middle of last night to drink a protein shake.

_Note to self: never do that again. Things will be thrown at your head._

As it was, I was pretty sure she was about to toss me from the car if I didn't stop asking her how she was feeling in various parts of her body. Though I was fairly confident at least _one_ specific part was feeling just fine.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Divert thoughts. Cannot go into therapy with a raging hard-on._

Since our date on Friday, I'd been completely unable to keep my hands off of her when we were alone. We hadn't gone much further since that night and as much as I would have liked to change that on her birthday, it would have been decidedly selfish on my part to whisk her away for the weekend when her mom and Phil were flying in. And there was no way our first time was going to be in my parent's house with _her_ parents sleeping across the hall. As it was, I had snuck through the balcony door all weekend so Charlie wasn't wise to me creeping into his daughter's room so we could make-out like teenagers. Bella could laugh all she wanted to. Chief Swan owned a gun and wasn't afraid to use it.

_And he definitely would have used it if he had seen what I was doing between his daughter's legs last night after she ran out of remote controls to throw at me._

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," I answered quickly, clearing my throat and shifting in my seat a bit. She noticed my adjustment and smirked, shaking her head and looking out the window as she crossed her legs.

"Turn up the music, Daddy! I can't hear the Wiggles!"

_That takes care of my problem down below._

"Okay, Lily," I answered, turning up the dial for the rear speakers as I tried to tune out '_Cold Spaghetti_' for the rest of the drive to Siobhan's.

.

"How was everyone's week?" Siobhan asked cheerfully once we were all situated comfortably in her children's room. Bella and I were sitting at the small table while Lily was digging around in a large chest of toys. "I see you've got your walking cast now, Bella."

"Yes, I just got it this morning," Bella beamed, reaching under the table to rest her hand on top of my shaking knee. "It's very nice to not have to use crutches anymore."

"I bet," Siobhan smiled. "What about you, Edward? How was your week?"

"Good, it was good," I replied quickly, cringing when Siobhan raised her eyebrow at me. Lowering my voice, I murmured, "I've been worried about what you said. About Lily blowing up at me."

"Edward, I don't believe I ever used those words when we spoke. I said it would be a matter of time before some of her guilt and frustration would be directed at you, but children have varying ways of expressing those feelings. It may be a screaming fit, or something more passive, like irritation with you over something normally inconsequential," she explained. "Or she may not do any of that. You described that after your discussions with her after the last statement, she seemed to come to terms with why Bella did what she did, so the majority of her guilt may have passed. Either way, you'd never be able to anticipate it happening, so you're worrying about something that is beyond your control."

"Oh," I remarked dumbly, her words resonating the main issue we focused on in our private sessions. Things out of my control made _me_ feel out of control, which was compounded by my guilt and anger over everything they'd endured. I was slowly letting go of all that, but it reared its ugly head in unexpected ways from time to time.

As my understanding washed over me, I offered a reassuring smile to Siobhan, making her smile dimly in return. "There is only one thing that I could anticipate Lily being upset with you over, and if you'd like to address it today, then we can give it a try. I can't promise how she'll react, though," she added quietly as Lily walked over with an Etch-a-Sketch. She plopped down in a chair and began twisting scribbles all over the screen, shaking it amusedly while she hummed Wiggles tunes to herself. I was confused, but decided quickly that I'd rather have her be upset with me here under Siobhan's professional eye than at home alone. Nodding almost imperceptibly to her, she quirked her eyebrow at me before turning to Lily.

"And how was your week, Lily?" Siobhan smiled.

"It was fun," Lily answered, barely glancing up at Siobhan as she did.

"What did you do?" Siobhan prodded gently.

"Ummm…I played with Daddy and Bella. And I had makeovers with Nana and Aunt Rose and Aunt Ali. And I had a sleepover with my family when Daddy n' Bella went on a date. I played dress-up and made a show. They ate dinner and watched a movie."

I saw Bella blush slightly as Lily described our date, undoubtedly remembering some of the activities we left out. Smirking, I slid my hand into hers on my knee, winking at her when I caught her eye, making her blush even brighter.

"That sounds like a very fun week, Li-"

"That wasn't _all_," Lily interrupted. "I played with Papaw Charlie, too. There. That's all."

Siobhan nodded apologetically. "So you had a lot of fun this week. It doesn't sound like you left the house much. Was there anywhere you would have liked to have gone?"

Lily shrugged. "Bella said we can go see the Frog Princess movie for the next date and I can come, too."

I looked at Bella in amused surprise and she shrugged sheepishly back at me. She mouthed 'distractions' at me and I had to cough to hide my laugh. Looking back at Siobhan, I tried to figure out where she was going with this, my breath catching on her next question.

"Your daddy and you used to like to go shopping and cook dinner together. Would that be something you'd like to do this week?"

Lily became very focused on her Etch-a-Sketch, her tone quieter. "We do cook dinner together sometimes."

"Yes," Siobhan pressed. "But would you like to get to go shopping with him like you used to?"

I didn't realize how tightly I was gripping Bella's hand until she whimpered slightly, making me loosen my hold immediately. I couldn't tear my eyes from Lily though, waiting with bated breath to hear how she would respond.

"That's probly not a good idea," she shook her head determinedly.

"Oh? Why not?" Siobhan's tone was light, but she was studying Lily's every move.

"'Cause I don't wanna get taken again," Lily said softly. I started to get up to go comfort her, but Siobhan raised her hand up ever so slightly to stop me. "If I got taken again I'd be all alone."

"Lily," Siobhan soothed, pulling a lollipop out of her pocket and handing it to her. "Here. That's for you…You know, you went to the grocery store many times before and you were always safe. Sometimes bad things happen, but we can't let them stop us from living our life the way we want to. Wouldn't you like to get to go to the grocery store like you used to with your daddy?"

"No, I can't go with him," Lily said firmly. "I don't wanna get taken again."

"Lily," I interrupted, unable to listen to anymore of this. "I would never let you-"

"But you did, Daddy. You let him take me and you never even said you're sorry," she argued, hurt tingeing her voice. "When I'm bad, I always hafta say sorry. Bella said you didn't want to let him, but don't you feel bad?" she asked innocently, having no idea the way she was ripping my heart in two.

_How could Bella not tell me she talked about this with her?  
_

But Bella sounded just as confused as I felt. "Lily, what are you talking about?" Bella asked.

Lily gave her the you're-so-dumb-I-can't-believe-it look and shook her head. "At the…at the place. You said. You promised he didn't want to and you promised he was looking for me." Looking back at me, she cocked her head. "And you found us. But you didn't say sorry."

Clearing her throat, Bella stood slowly. "Siobhan, I need to go to the bathroom. Could you show me where it is?" Siobhan smiled tightly, standing and leading Bella out of the room to give Lily and me a minute alone. As soon as the door shut behind them, I was out of my seat and had picked Lily up and curled her into my lap on the floor.

If she wanted to beat me, scream at me, I would take it. But this…_disappointment_ in her voice, this innocent distrust in which she didn't even blame me, she just wanted an apology, when a million I'm sorrys would never be enough…I could always start at one.

"Lily," I began, choking down the sob in my throat. "Daddy is so, _so_, sorry. Daddy _never _wanted to let that man take you. The _only_ reason Daddy didn't try to fight him was because I was afraid you could get hurt. I'll never stop being sorry that he took you from me and I promise you I _was_ looking for you, princess. Every day I was waiting for news and answering phones and making pictures to show people. As soon as we found out where you might be we came to find you. Daddy thought about you every second, every minute, every hour of every day you were gone. I missed you so much, Lily. I couldn't even smile when you were gone, little love. You're my heart."

"I missed you too, Daddy…And I expect," she sniffled.

"Expect what, Lilybug?" I asked, wiping my tears away above her.

Pulling back, I got the you're-so-dumb-I-can't-believe-it look.

_She's just dishing those out left and right today._

"I _expect_, Daddy. It's okay. I'm back. You can smile. We can go shopping now."

Broken laughs poured out of me as I held her close, rocking her in my arms.

"Daddy," she complained, her voice muffled in my shirt. "I can't breathe."

Releasing her, she leaned back, the innocent, sweet gleam in her eyes returning and shining back at me in a way I hadn't seen in a long time. Brushing her curls out of her face, I smiled at her, crosses between cathartic laughs and sobs still breaking free from my chest. "Thank you for expecting my apology, Lily. It means more to Daddy than you know."

She shook her head at me, turning to the door. "That doesn't make sense, Daddy…Do you think Bella got lost? She went potty a long time ago."

Grinning, I stood with her on my hip, walking over to the door and opening it, my smile falling when I saw Bella wipe away tears quickly. She was sitting in the adult room across the hall with Siobhan, the door open. She stood quickly, searching my face in question of what had happened and I beamed back at her, bouncing Lily on my hip, making her giggle. Bella smiled back immediately, her entire face lighting up at the sound. We walked wordlessly back into the room and sat down around the table while Lily searched the shelves for a new toy. As soon as she was distracted, Siobhan spoke quickly.

"Edward, I want you to know I don't actually expect any of you to make any grocery trips quite yet. That will likely be the last of the triggers we will work through in our time here. The only reason I pushed her just now was to help ease your mind about a possible explosion. She has already come a great distance in her healing and last week's breakthrough was just that. A breakthrough. It sounds like for all three of you. We'll keep it easy for the rest of the session," she added quietly as Lily approached with a Magna-Doodle.

"So, Lily. You had a sleepover with your family when Daddy and Bella went on a date. Were you sad or lonely while they were gone?"

"No, I'm a big girl. I'm gonna be five soon," Lily shrugged. "What are you getting me for my birthday?"

"I hadn't decided yet," Siobhan chuckled. "What would you like?"

"Um…I want clothes, and books, and I want to go to the zoo, and if they have any extra zebras I want to bring one home, because I think that's better than ponies, and Daddy said no ponies, but he didn't say no zebras. And I want to get my ears pierced."

"Princess, you can't have a zebra, either," I argued gently, trying to reason with her. "Zebras have to live in the zoo. But the other stuff sounds good."

"But you said I could get a pet," she whined.

"I was thinking something more like a puppy or a kitten, or some kind of small, furry rodent," I explained, squeezing Bella's hand as she cringed. She _really_ didn't like pets.

"What's a rodent?" she asked.

"You know, a hamster, or a gerbil, or a mouse, or-"

"A mouse!" Lily screeched. "I don't want a mouse! And hamsters are just mouses with no tails and that's even worse! That's so gro-"

"Bugs!" Bella blurted out of nowhere, turning bright red when everyone stared at her in confusion. "Um…Lily, do you remember the bug farms?"

I snapped my fingers, the conversation returning to me. "That's right! Lily, you wanted a ladybug farm, didn't you? You could get ladybugs for pets." As I recalled the conversation, I became confused. Facing Bella, I cocked my head at her. "How did you know about the bugs?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but Lily cut in. "We talked about bugs when we ate them for dinner!"

Bella smacked her palm into her forehead as I jumped out of my chair, yelling, "You ate what?"

"Beans, Edward. They were beans," Bella groaned. "I told her they were bugs to get her to try them. And then we talked about bugs that were fun and bugs that were scary. I forgot about it before now."

"Bugs and worms," Lily added helpfully, grinning like she hadn't just almost given me a heart attack. I sat down quickly and Bella slipped her hand back into mine, squeezing it once and smiling sweetly.

"Beans and rice," she translated, shrugging.

I grinned back at her, nodding. "I was thinking…"

She rolled her eyes, nodding back with an amused smile. "I know. I would, too."

"I want ladybugs," Lily decided firmly.

"Ahem," Siobhan cleared her throat, bringing our attention back to her. "I'm sure you're going to have a lovely birthday party, Lily, and I hope you like all your presents. Can I ask why you think being a big girl means you couldn't miss Daddy and Bella when they were gone for the night? Even big girls like Bella can get lonely or sad sometimes."

Lily huffed impatiently. "I _do _get sad sometimes. But you said _that_ night. And I wasn't alone, so I wasn't sad. _I'm _big, so I don't always need Daddy and Mommy, oops…I mean, Bella," she giggled, stealing a glance at Bella, who smiled gently back at her.

Siobhan smirked slightly, but continued on. "I'm sorry, Lily, you're right. That makes a lot of sense and I'm glad you didn't get sad being away from Daddy and Bella for the night. _That's very good_," she murmured, locking eyes with me.

Returning her attention to Lily, she studied her carefully. "You said you get sad _sometimes_. When do you get sad? And what makes you feel that way?"

Lily dropped her Magna-Doodle and began fidgeting with her hands in her lap. "Well…just sometimes at bedtime. And when we don't have ice cream."

"What makes you sad at bedtime?" Siobhan asked softly.

"When it's too quiet. It was really quiet at…I don't like it when it's too quiet," she mumbled.

I rose from my chair to walk around the table and pull her into my lap, squeezing her tightly as she wrapped her little arms around my neck. "I wish you had told me, princess. You have your CD player; we could play music at night when we tuck you in. Why didn't you come to Daddy if you were sad?"

"I dunno," she sniffled into my shirt. "I wanna be big."

"Lily…I have to listen to music at night too," Bella admitted softly, locking eyes with me as we shared a sad smile.

"You do?" she asked hopefully and Bella nodded back, which made Lily perk up.

"So we'll play music from now on?" I clarified, wanting to make sure this would be enough to make her feel better. She nodded cheerfully, using my t-shirt to wipe her nose before she slid off my lap and went to get a new toy. Chuckling, I moved to sit back by Bella while Siobhan spoke quickly.

"It's absolutely excellent that she's able to be separated from both of you for an extended period of time. You handled her very well just now, Edward. We're going to keep it short today, to prevent her from getting overwhelmed, so I want to ask you quickly…Have you called Bella 'baby' in front of Lily yet?"

Shaking my head, I grimaced. "I was too afraid of setting her off to try it."

She nodded, lifting her hands up in sympathy. "That's fine; just try it sporadically throughout this week as homework. We're going to end today with a game, so just follow my lead." She rose up from her chair and fetched a board game from one of her top shelves, making herself comfortable on the floor and motioning for us to do the same.

As Bella and I settled around the circular board, Siobhan introduced us to her game. "It's called the Feelings Wheel Game. It helps young children put a name to various emotions and feelings to help curb frustration when they want to express themselves…Lily! Would you like to come play a game with us?"

She was on the floor in an instant, bouncing on her knees. "_Yes_!"

.

"I'm gonna be _heartbroken_ if I don't get ice cream tonight!" Lily announced from the backseat as we pulled into to the driveway at home. She'd been having a little _too_ much fun repeating all the new 'feeling' words she'd learned.

"Well, I will be _envious_ if you get ice cream and I don't!" Bella called out back to her, both of them dissolving into giggles.

Bella was having a little too much fun, too.

"I'm _curious_ how long this game is going to continue," I snarked, laughing when Bella flipped me off out of Lily's sight. "I'll be so _bored_ when Lily has to go take a nap and we can't play it anymore."

That snapped her out of it. "Dadd-eee! I don't wanna take a nap. Naps are for babies. And Papaws."

"Sorry, short stuff. Naps are for Lilys too until this Daddy says otherwise," I said firmly as I unbuckled her from her car seat. A change from the weekend, I was much more comfortable sticking to my guns now that she and I had our talk.

She stormed up the sidewalk until she reached the front door, turning and glaring at me with her arms crossed. "I'm gonna be very _disappointed_ if you make me take a nap, Daddy." With that, she huffed and stomped up the stairs to her room.

"You know," I sighed, "if that's a preview of adolescence, I'm going to have to find some sort of anti-aging potion to keep her this age and at least somewhat manageable."

"Ha!" Bella laughed, linking her hand with mine as we walked inside. "Good luck fighting against the wilting Botox-addicts to get that…Could we talk for a minute after you put Lily down for her nap?"

_Please let this be the move-in conversation. Please let this be the move-in conversation…_

"Sure!" I agreed a little too eagerly. She nodded happily and motioned for me to go ahead of her on the stairs. "What?"

"You should go first, I'll take forever," she explained, pointing down at her new cast.

"_Ooooor_," I grinned, feeling lighter and more playful after Lily's forgiveness, even if she was pissed at me right now. "We could do _this_." I tossed her over my shoulder and she squealed with laughter as I pounded up the stairs, delivering her to her room and setting her down gently on her bed.

"When I said I wanted to talk," she smirked, "I _did_ actually mean talk."

"I know, love," I laughed. "And we will. I'll be back in a minute." Giving her one more quick kiss, I went down the hallway to Lily's room, where she was sulking on her bed, albeit very drowsily.

"Let me tuck you in, princess," I soothed, turning on her radio to a classical station.

"Will you scratch my back?" she pouted sleepily.

"Yes, Lily," I smiled.

Less than five minutes later, she was out like a light and I kissed her softly before heading back down the hallway to Bella's room. I stood in the doorway watching her for a moment, undetected. She had swept her long curls into a bun with a pencil sticking through it and she had her black-rimmed glasses on as she read a book intently. Her eyes always gave away whatever she was reading, lighting with laughter or sparkling with sadness. After a few seconds, she looked up and immediately blushed, pulling her glasses off quickly.

"Like watching me be a nerd, Edward?" she asked, biting the side of her lip as she set her book down on the nightstand.

"Beautiful, you may not be aware, but _all_ men harbor a not-so-secret naughty librarian fantasy. _That_ look is hot. I'll watch you be a nerd anytime," I teased as I pushed off the doorway and walked over to sit next to her on the bed.

"Sooo," she began, turning to face me and sliding her hands into mine. "How did you think that first session went?"

"Oh," I muttered, surprised and slightly disappointed. I masked it quickly and offered a smile and nod, though she peered at me curiously. "I thought it went really well. You know I was terrified of listening to her lose it on me, but…I think I would have been better prepared for her to scream at me than I was for what she said. Hearing her sound so hurt _by me…_I guess with as much guilt as I've had for what happened, to the both of you, somewhere deep inside me I always hoped that she didn't blame me the way I blamed myself. To hear it come out of her own mouth, to think that she didn't feel safe _with me…_I'm the one person she's always supposed to feel safe with. Always.

"I don't know how many promises I've made to her that I'm realizing now I've no way to know I can actually keep. That kills me…and to know she's taken them so literally to heart and that I let her down…"

"You can only do your best, Edward. I don't know anything about parenting," she said, almost making me snort. She was better at it than me most the time. "But I do know that's all anyone can ever do. And you do that for her already.

Trying not to get choked up again, I laughed breathlessly. "I guess I'm just lucky she's such a forgiving little girl, because she told me…she told me she _expected _my apology, she meant accept. She said it was okay and we could go shopping and I could smile now. I…I can't even describe what it felt like to hear her free me of that burden. I think she was the only one who ever really could. I guess overall, I feel like today was a real turning point. Last week was too, but I just feel…free now."

Meeting Bella's eyes, I saw her sniff and wipe away a tear before smiling beautifully back at me. "I'm so glad, Edward. That was so hard to see, but I'm glad that it's better now. For both of you."

"Were you alright? I saw you crying with Siobhan…"

Shaking her head, she placed her hand over my heart. "I was just worried. About both of you. It was hard to see you both hurting, but I knew you two needed a minute. I'm a girl," she shrugged. "We cry."

Laughing, I gave her a quick kiss before continuing. I was glad we were talking this out and it was a refreshing change I was still getting used to, having someone to discuss things with, but I really hoped this wasn't all she wanted to talk about. "I was worried she was going to be too traumatized from the first two statements to be able to speak freely, but Siobhan really has a way with her."

"I felt so bad for her when she talked about being sad at night," Bella frowned.

"No one more than me, love," I smiled sadly. "But I guess the important thing is that we know now, and she won't have to feel that way anymore."

She nodded before looking down at our linked hands and fidgeting with our fingers.

"Bella? What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"Well, it's just…we haven't talked about that moving-in business since Friday, and I feel like for me to really think about it we need to discuss a few more details," she said, her eyes still on our hands. "There's a lot more to it than just deciding where to store my books."

_Yes!_

"You're right, there is a lot more to it than that. Would you want to talk about it tomorrow at our session?" I asked, surprised when she looked up and frowned.

"Well, I wanted to talk about it _now_…"

"We can," I assured her quickly. "I do too, I just meant tomorrow as well."

She smiled, relieved. "Definitely. It'll be a huge help to get Siobhan's advice on how to handle it best for Lily…_If_ I decide to do it."

"Yeah, that's going to be tricky," I sighed. "She hasn't exactly made it a secret how she wants this to go. I don't want you to feel pressured to fill that role with her. Siobhan could definitely help with that. But she didn't disagree with the idea when I mentioned it last week to her, though."

Her eyebrows shot straight up. "I didn't know you already talked about it with her."

"Yeah," I admitted sheepishly. "I wanted to get a feel from her if she thought you'd be agreeable to the idea."

"How'd that work out for you?" she smirked.

"In true Siobhan fashion, she told me I was asking the wrong person. But she said she'd look forward to hearing how it went," I laughed. "So far I'm not sure what to tell her. You didn't run away screaming, but it's been killing me not to bring it up like I promised."

"Alright," Bella sighed. "I know you've been wanting to know what I'm thinking about it, so thanks for being patient…I kind of wish I had that wheel right now…Okay…I feel nervous about it being too fast and scared that we might ruin what we could be by rushing it…But I _hate_ the idea of being apart from you for eighty hours a week. That just sounds…_awful_," she grimaced, looking up at me sadly.

"Full disclosure right now?" I asked, kissing her hand in mine. She nodded, so I took a deep breath. "Alright. This...our relationship. I want for it to move forward, to not stagnate, and the only way I see for that to happen is if we're able to see each other whenever there's a spare moment, which I don't have many of. Between regular shifts, on-calls, overnights, and Lily, realistically we'd be apart for a lot more than eighty hours a week.

"If you decide moving in is just not right for you right now, then I meant what I said on Friday. We _will_ make this work. I just want to make sure you understand what we'd be committing to either way."

She furrowed her brows, thinking hard on what I'd said for several minutes.

"I think I want to keep my apartment."

I tried to mask my disappointment as quickly as possible and swallowed the lump in my throat, offering her a weak smile. "Okay, I understand. We'll make it wo-"

"Oh no!" she gasped. "Sorry…I mean I own it and I don't want to sell it right away. I mean, I'm not saying yes _yet_, and I promise if or when I do I'll be completely sure, but I think it would just make me feel better to keep it. To know that it's there. Do…does that make sense?"

Pulling her into my lap, I practically sagged in relief. "Yes, love. If it makes you feel secure to have it, then by all means…"

She curled herself into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Sooo….how much is rent?"

Deciding to mess with her a bit, I replied nonchalantly, "Oh, I don't expect you to pay _anything_, Bella. I am the _man_ in the relationship after all…"

She wrenched her body away from mine instantly, scowling. She always looked a little extra beautiful when she was pissed.

"You have got to be _fucking kidding _m-…You're kidding, aren't you?" she sighed, shaking her head and then punching me in the arm.

I grinned back and she playfully glared at me. "I would pay half of everything…But I despise cleaning bathrooms," she added softly.

Bringing her back into my arms, I cradled her face and grinned crookedly. "That decides it. This relationship was fated to be. I happen to _loooove_ cleaning bathrooms…But I'm terrible with laundry."

Smiling shyly as she raised her hand to rest against my neck, she gazed back at me with the most heartbreakingly beautiful adoration in her eyes. "I'm pretty good at laundry."

"See? Fate," I whispered before bringing her lips to mine in a slow, sweet kiss.

.

(September 10th)

"Edward, I understand your hesitancy to possibly setting her off, but as a male in her life that she trusts explicitly, I truly believe the best way to condition her to hearing the endearment is through you," Siobhan explained patiently, admonishing me gently for not 'doing my homework.'

"I know, I get it," I sighed. "It's just I was on edge all weekend waiting for her to blow up at me, only to realize if it happens I can't stop it. Then yesterday was such a complex day; it was going well and I didn't want to take the chance and ruin it."

"And I'm not faulting you for that," she smiled sympathetically. "Recovery is not a painless process and as you're her father I understand why you want to spare her as much pain as possible. Just try once. We'll go from there based on her reaction."

"Alright," I nodded, slipping my hand into Bella's, needing the physical connection with her to keep me grounded.

Siobhan turned to Bella, relieving me for now. "So, Bella, is there anything that's happened over the last week that you'd like to address today?"

Bella squirmed, always uncomfortable with attention. "Um…well, Edward and I have something kind of big to discuss today, but now that you mention it there was something else we should maybe talk about first…"

My head jerked toward her, confused as to what she was talking about. She had a slightly pained expression on her face and she looked exceedingly uncomfortable, her grip on my hand rigid. I looked at her questioningly and she bit her lip worriedly.

"I forgot to mention it to you before; I got…_distracted_ on our date," she murmured, blushing bright red. My lip twitched, but I encouraged her with my eyes and a squeeze of my hand. "And then I wasn't really sure how to bring it up before now…It was before we left the house, when Lily was in my room and Alice and Rose disappeared to pack…Lily started speaking _Little Mermaid_-ese and describing how you loved her and me, and how I loved you, and then…she wanted to know what _I _loved _her_ like."

Siobhan laughed lightly. "Children's minds are curious things, aren't they? Given that your relationship with Lily developed before your relationship with Edward, it's not surprising that she wanted to know where she fit in this new family dynamic. What did you say?"

Bella shifted uncomfortably and I brought my other hand over to place on top of ours, trying to help her feel better.

"I told her that I loved her like a Bella loves her Little Thing. I…I didn't know what else to say. I never know what to say. It was terrifying."

"What are you talking about?" I gaped at her. "You _always _know what to say with her. You're a natural. Half the time I feel like I should keep my mouth shut and let you handle her."

"I know and it drives me insane!" she exclaimed, shocking me. "When she and I were alone, okay, fine, I didn't have a choice but to use my best judgment, but that baby conversation? With the marriage talk? I was almost hyperventilating. My experience with children is limited to Lily alone, which means eight weeks. Eight weeks, Edward! It's terrifying to not know how to respond to her, to not be sure if I'm crossing some invisible line when I answer…" her voice broke and I pulled her into my side, wrapping my arm around her.

"_Bella_," I rasped into her hair. "I had no idea. Since…since she's been back, the more I learn about what went on, the more I feel like she's not the same daughter I had before, like _you_ know her better than I do. I thought stepping back would keep her happy; I just wanted her to be happy."

"Could I say something here?" Siobhan interrupted softy and I nodded gratefully in return.

_Pleeease tell me how to fix this._

"Bella is clearly not prepared to take on a full mothering role with Lily at this time. Is that something you're wanting from her, Edward?"

"No! I mean…at least not right now…Shit, I don't know how to explain this…" I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I gathered my thoughts. "Alright, look…I _know_ that Lily loves Bella like a mother. And I know Bella loves Lily, but starting this relationship with her was not about mommy-hunting. Their closeness was one of the reasons I was so attracted to her in the beginning, yes, because seeing the two most important girls in my life be happy and play together is beautiful. But there's so much more to what I feel for her than that.

"I guess we've sort of fallen into that kind of dynamic just because it's nice to sit back and watch them together, because before Bella…a mother was the one thing I could never give her. But I'm not expecting Bella to step in and take over for me and I'm sorry I didn't even realize that's what I was doing. In the future, a long way down the road…yeah, if I'm being honest, I'd love for Bella to be Lily's mother, but only if she ever wants it. It doesn't have any bearing on _our_ relationship."

I turned to Bella for the first time since I started running my mouth to find her blinking back tears. Reaching up to wipe away the few that spilled over, I held her face in my hands. "I never meant to put that pressure on you and for that, I'm sorry. Me asking you to move in, that's for _us_, you and me, to work on and build our relationship."

Bella inhaled shakily. "I…I don't know what to say…I just…I just need to think about it some more? The thing is, I love Lily _completely_, I love her just like she loves me, but that's _such_ a huge step…I want more time to know her in _real_ life, if that makes any sense at all. And when it comes to you and me, I think I'm wanting the same thing as you. I'm sure we could figure out a way to make it work living apart, but I hate the idea of things standing still for the next year while you finish your residency."

I felt so bad for her as I watched her get more and more worked up. Agitated now, she began to ramble, "Sometimes it's just hard to wrap my head around it all, because I went from not even knowing you existed two months ago to…this, what we are now. We're having conversations_ now,_ while most people date for months before approaching the subject, but the fact that we're having them _now_ isn't what's scaring me. It's the fact that it's _not_ scaring me, when I think it _probably _really should, but then I just feel bad because I-"

"Bella," Siobhan interrupted, her expression a cross between amused sympathy and concern. "Let's just take a minute and slow down. Take a deep breath."

My sweet girl looked like she was stuck between hyperventilating and crying, so with no regards to our audience I pulled her swiftly across my lap and tucked my face into her neck and hair, breathing her in, trying to bring her comfort. "It's alright, love. We're going to be fine. We _are_ fine. I love you and nothing is going to change that. Just tell me how you're feeling. You can tell me anything."

Breathing raggedly and sniffling, she spoke barely above a whisper. "It's not that I doubt _you_ or your feelings or where we're going _eventually_. I'm just afraid moving in together _now_ will rush the _eventually._ And I want the _eventually, _I'm just not quite ready right _now. _I don't even know if that makes sense."

"It makes plenty of sense," Siobhan smiled gently, bursting the bubble we had been wrapped up in together. "And a way to make sure that the _eventually _doesn't creep up on you before you're ready is to take great care to maintain your relationship, living together or not. Couples so often let themselves get into a comfortable pattern of going through the motions, but not _really_ communicating and making time for one another.

"Solidifying _your_ relationship, as in you and Bella, will do wonders for establishing the boundaries needed for all three of you. Everyone is clear on where this is headed _eventually_. Normally in blended families, the greatest worry is the introduction of the new parental unit. In this case, that's not even a blip on the radar, given that Bella has already earned Lily's trust, love, and respect. So when the time comes for that _eventually_, it will happen organically. With all things there is a period of adjustment, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

"In the meantime, as far as your relationship goes, I can't stress enough the importance of communication. The faster issues are brought to light, the faster and less painful they are to resolve. Even if the two of you can only find ten minutes a day to speak honestly with each other, do it. And don't mistake physical intimacy for emotional intimacy. By all means, enjoy your 'honeymoon' phase, but recognize the importance for quality time together. Have I lost you or are you still with me?"

Blushing a light pink, Bella nodded and slid off my lap to sit beside me, though she kept my arm wrapped around her, clasping my other hand tightly. Siobhan's words struck an especial chord with me, because I could see how easy it would be to lose myself in Bella's body, seeing as I couldn't usually go more than five minutes without fantasizing about her or planning on how to get her alone to act out said fantasies. I never wanted to treat her as an object and it was obvious we needed to speak more openly with each other. The fact that I had no idea the pressure I was putting on her and the fact that she hadn't mentioned it once before now was evidence enough for that.

_Except…_

"Is that part of why you planned our perfect day? I completely missed the hint, didn't I?"

She looked confused at my abrupt change of subject, but then shrugged sheepishly, biting her lip. "I just wanted to show you she was still the same daughter as before. The piano was just something she told me about the first night, something that she wanted to do with you. I had hoped the pictures would remind you of how much of an amazing job you've done as a father. That you still do. Writing the stories down was just a way to include you in something she and I shared when we were gone. Most of all, I…I wanted to remind you how happy the two of you could be together _without_ me."

"Bella brings to mind an excellent point, Edward," Siobhan cut in. "To use an analogy, for a time Bella was an anchor for Lily when she would surely have been lost at sea without her presence. But please don't ever forget that _you_, Edward, were home port. And you still are."

.

"I can't believe that's how you think I sound," I wondered, shaking my head at her in mock indignation as we drove away from Siobhan's. "That was like the worst Barry White impression I've ever heard."

"I was just trying to make my voice sound deeper since I was pretending to be you!" she defended, crossing her arms and glaring at me for teasing. "_You_ made me sound like a chipmunk!"

Laughing, I shrugged. "What? Sometimes you squeak."

"_No_, I don't," she huffed. "And even if I _have_ squeaked, there is no way that's what my voice sounds like all the time. We were _supposed_ to be having a conversation as the other person. I half-expected you to start singing about wanting a hula-hoop."

"Is that what you want for your birthday?" I asked seriously, albeit with great difficulty.

"No thanks, I can wait 'til Christmas," she retorted, shaking her head and looking out the window curiously. "Where are we going?"

I scratched my head, shrugging. "I'm not sure exactly. I thought we could go somewhere and talk a bit more about…everything, and my mom is working with Lily on your birthday present. Your absence for at least half the day was specifically requested."

"God, she's so adorable," Bella mumbled. "What can I get her for her birthday?"

I furrowed my brow, confused. "Whatever you want, love."

Bella frowned, pursing her lips. "So if I said I wanted to buy her a trip to Disneyworld you'd be fine with that?"

A pang hit me as she described the very thing _I _wanted to give Lily for Christmas. I realized what she was trying to say and reached over to give her hand a squeeze. "No, that one's mine. Alright, uh…I really want to be the one to give her her first pet, even if they are only bugs." I saw Bella smile sweetly in return, so I continued on, confident. "I'd like if you came to the zoo with us, but I'm guessing you'd like to give her something tangible, so how about…she said she wanted some books. That's right up your alley, isn't it? Buy her all the books you want."

Bella's eyes grew wide with excitement and I suddenly wondered what I had gotten myself into.

"Oh my gosh, that's perfect!" she…well, she squeaked again. "She's just the right age for chapter books! Oh my gosh, there's so many. Okay she has to have Charlotte's Web, and there's everything by Shel Silverstein, even though those aren't chapter books, but she'll love them anyway, and The Magic Treehouse books! Oh and there's…" she started rattling off more titles than I was even aware were available for children, talking more to herself than to me. After a few moments, she seemed to remember my presence and turned to me, blushing bright red immediately. "Sorry. I got a little carried away. You'd seriously better set a limit, though. Bookstores are the _only_ place I like to shop."

"Why does that not surprise me?" I smiled indulgently at her. "Okay, uh…I really try not to spoil her more than she already is, so…how about five? She's turning five, so that makes sense."

She nodded distractedly. "Okay, I'm going to have to give this some serious thought. I'll have to work out some sort of pro/con list or some kind of elimination process. I'd ask Angie, but she'd probably just give me more to think about…" she started rambling again, so I decided a distraction was in order.

"Bella?"

She shook out of her one-sided conversation and looked at me confused.

"Would going into the woods freak you out?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, thinking. "Um…no? I don't think so, anyway. Honestly, I hardly remember any of that. That'd probably be something more upsetting for Lily. Why?"

I smiled, nodding to myself. "I know where we can go to talk."

.

"You're a crazy person."

"Hey!" I laughed. "You made it in one piece. Nothing hurts; I didn't drop you."

She rolled her eyes as she kicked her shoe off beside the blanket we laid on the ground in my meadow, shaking her head. "I don't think I've had a piggyback ride since I was five…So this is your secret place, huh? It's nice. Really quiet."

Taking a seat beside her and following her example of going barefoot, I smirked at her. "Consider yourself lucky, Swan. No one else has ever been allowed here before. And you'd better not tell anyone, because I know where you live."

"Do you?" she asked, her expression clouding over. Mumbling under her breath, she looked down at her hands in her lap. "Because I don't."

"Bella," I murmured, lifting her chin up. "Talk to me…or better yet, let me talk and you just listen for a bit, okay?"

She nodded, laying down and resting her head in my lap. I began stroking my fingers through her curls, the action soothing me immediately.

"Alright…Once I go back to work, Lily will continue to go to my mom's Monday through Friday. On evenings when I get off early, we have dinner at home. Other nights she just eats at my parents. Usually Saturdays she spends with either Alice or Rose, and then you know Sunday is family day. If you lived with us, it wouldn't affect that schedule. Unless you decided you wanted to spend some time with her and get her early, which would be fine."

"But-" she started but then abruptly quieted.

"What is it, love? Tell me what you're thinking."

She sighed heavily, chewing on the side of her thumbnail. "Well…okay, let's say I pick her up from your mom's and she and I have the next two hours together before you get home from work. She throws a fit about…something, I don't know, she says something rude, or she wants ice cream before dinner, whatever. What do I do?"

"Huh. That never even occurred to me." Realization struck me as I understood how deeply Bella must have considered my offer if she was thinking about variable situations.

_That's a really good sign._

"When I asked you to think about it and be sure, you really took that to heart, didn't you?"

She shrugged. "You're stalling."

Chuckling, I resumed stroking her hair. "Alright, alright. I don't spank. Ever. Usually I just use my judgment when it comes to punishments. Sort of fitting the crime I guess you could say."

"But is that even okay for me to do? And don't use that word; call it something else. Please."

I winced as I realized what 'punishment' must mean to her and slid my hand down her arm to find her hand. "In regards to _discipline,_ I expect her to behave a certain way, with respect to adults, no matter if I'm present or not. If she were being rude or throwing a tantrum, I would send her to her room until she stopped acting like a brat. If you were alone with her, that same authority would extend to you. If it were _really_ bad, like if she threw something at you or something like that-"

"Threw something at me? She-"

"She has been known to have some award-winning tantrums in her day, love. As she gets older they're fewer and far between, but I'm just talking possible scenarios. In that case, _I _would probably ground her or take something away. But I wouldn't expect you to handle that. In that sort of instance I would say to just send her to her room to wait for me to get home. And the idea can't be that shocking to you. You threw a four-hundred page novel at my head."

"You woke me up," she argued weakly.

"You didn't mind so much _later…_" I grinned, leaning down and tickling her neck with the stubble on my jaw. She giggled, pushing me away lightly.

"Quit distracting me. We're trying to talk here."

Sitting back up, I lifted her head off my lap so I could lie down behind her on the blanket. Spooning my body around her, I continued on seriously.

"You would be living with us as _my_ girlfriend, as loathe as I am to use that term because I hope you know you mean so much more to me than just that, but not a stand-in mother or nanny. As far as Lily goes, just keep being the friend to her you have been. If she asks something you don't know how to answer, tell her you'll talk about it later, distract her, whatever. And then come to me and talk to me about it. I know you love her, so if you ever want special time with her, don't be afraid to spend it with her because you feel bad for seeing her when I can't. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to be a doctor and in another year, I'll be able to work normal hours and never have to miss a dinner again.

"I'm being completely selfish and honest right now when I tell you I want you there for _me_. On days when I'm exhausted, after Lily's in bed and I only have ten minutes before I pass out, I want them to be spent with you. I want you there because the only way I want to sleep is with my arms around you knowing you'll be the first face I see each morning. I don't want to only get to hear your voice through the phone for days on end. I want to trip on your sneakers and pick you up off the couch when you fall asleep watching a movie and read the Sunday morning paper with you in my lap.

"But all that is about what _I_ want. More than anything, I just want you to be happy. You've been used to living alone for a long time now. You were happy in the life you had before and I'm not trying to take that from you. What do _you_ want?"

Turning around in my arms, she took my face in her hands and kissed me deeply. I returned it immediately, completely helpless to resist. She controlled the kiss, desperate and hungry at first, then slower and softer, until she pulled back and gazed into my eyes, her own shining.

Her voice raspy, she shook her head. "Edward, I _wasn't _happy before you and I wasn't unhappy either, I just _was._ I was content and I was coasting, but being with you…it's like I'm more _alive_ now. I know part of it is feeling like I have a second lease on life after everything that happened, but that's not all it is. I find myself actually connecting with people instead of just going through the motions, it's like I was numb before but now I actually _feel_.

"I was scared I might lose myself if I said yes, but…I don't even know if I really believe that. Being with you has only enhanced my writing and I can do that anywhere. On weekends when I want to go to Forks to see Charlie, it can give us both space or we can make a trip out of it for all three of us. All my reasons for not doing it have more to do with the idea of what it looks and sounds like and not the reality of what it is for _us_."

Sniffling back tears, she continued. "And I don't want to go days without seeing you. Any spare minute you have, I want it. I want to yell at you for leaving toothpaste on the counter and kiss you to sleep every night and lose your socks in the dryer but most of all, I just want to be with you."

My heartbeat was pounding so loud in my ears I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I couldn't let myself get my hopes up without hearing the words out of her mouth first. Sliding her hands from my face, I took them into mine and held them tightly between us.

"Bella, what are you saying _exactly_…"

"I'm saying yes," she whispered.

_She said yes._

My lips found hers immediately, my happiness threatening to overwhelm me. As I let her words sink in, I finally admitted to myself _how badly_ I had wanted her to say yes and how afraid I had been she wouldn't.

_Mine._

I released her hands to run mine all down her body, needing her closer, always closer. Her lips and body molded to mine completely as I rolled over her, feeling a primal need rise up in me to claim her. _My_ girl, _my _woman, _my _love. My _everything_ living with me in my home.

_Our home._

With great pain, I pulled myself away from her lips. "Tell me again," I begged.

"Yes," she breathed, bringing my face back down to hers, whispering against my mouth. "I love you."

"I want you," I gasped, covering her mouth with mine, unable to get close enough. When I finally had to break from her to breathe, I all but attacked her neck, dropping kisses down as I stole breaths in between. Grasping my face in her hands, she pulled me back up her body.

"Right now," she breathed.

_Yes._

This moment, right now, was perfect. It was completely unplanned, no over-thinking or nerves, no hotel rooms or rose petals, no lingerie or candles; it was just my sweet girl and me in this place that belonged to only us. I could ask her over and over if she was sure, try to decide for her if the time was right or not, but I was trusting her the way she trusted me and there was no doubt in my mind that we both wanted this.

Her hands began flying over the buttons of my shirt faster than I thought humanly possible. _No. _If we were going to do this here, right now, it would not be rushed. I would savor it, remember every detail of this moment. I shrugged my sleeves off slowly, taking her face in my hands to kiss her deeply, trying to show her I wanted to enjoy this, memorize every aspect of it. She surrendered under me immediately, slowly tangling her tongue with mine.

I popped the buttons on her cardigan open, sliding it down her shoulders easily. As she pulled her arms free, she wrapped them around my neck, holding me close, never letting her lips leave my skin. I felt her everywhere, her touch lighting my skin on fire like an electrical current over my entire body. Her nails scratched up my torso, pulling my t-shirt up and I tossed it over my head swiftly.

Running my hands down her body, I slid them slowly up her legs under her skirt, teasing the silky material underneath.

"I need to feel you," I demanded forcefully, fisting the thin gauze of her skirt in my hands.

"Yes," she sighed, lifting her arms up so I could pull her shirt up easily over her head. Tossing it aside, I ran my hand down from her neck, over her chest, grazing over the satin-covered peaks there, trailing down her stomach. Her body arched into my touch, small bumps rising across her skin as I pulled her skirt off. Her hands were clenched into tight fists on either side of her head, her hair splayed out wildly underneath her.

_Mine._

Covering her body with my own again, I kissed every inch of visible skin I could find as she unfastened my belt and jeans and began pushing them down. Regrettably taking my hands from her body for a moment, I helped her get my jeans off, kicking them past my ankles and grinding against her immediately after. She rewarded me with a breathy moan, spurring me to repeat the motion and making me groan as she pushed up against me.

Kissing her collarbone the way I knew would make her back arch, I reached behind her to unclasp her bra, sliding the straps down her arms. I loved on her breasts with my mouth and teeth and hands, taking my time to worship each one equally, wanting to mark every inch of her skin with my lips. Moving downward, I smiled against her stomach when she drew in a sharp gasp as my fingers snapped the two small strings holding her panties together.

Dragging my tongue south, I splayed my hands across her hips to keep her still beneath me as I began to work her over, licking, sucking, biting. _This_ I could do for hours. It puffed my chest with pride to hear and feel her body's every response to my ministrations. Every moan, gasp, twitch, shudder…each tug on my hair, each breathy cry of my name turned me on more and more. _I _was the one doing this to her. No one else got to see her like this.

_Mine._

Growling with the sudden surge of possessiveness that came over me, my vibrations sent her over the edge and she came, my name echoing off the circle of trees around us. I rubbed a hand over my chin and mouth as she pulled me up forcibly by my hair, crashing her lips to mine, her chest glistening with a slight sheen of sweat, still gasping and heaving beneath me.

I was so hard it almost hurt, nearly crying out in relief as she dragged her fingernails down my back and clawed at my boxers. My body was at war with itself, wanting to rid myself of the final barrier between us, but not willing to stop grinding against her or remove my hands from her body. Her breathy plea decided for me.

"Please."

Pushing my boxers away from my body roughly, she immediately took me in her hand and stroked me slowly, softly, teasingly. She began to guide me towards her center, but I held back for just a moment using the last ounce of my self-control.

This wasn't going to be some frenzied fuck. This was my sweet girl, my first and only love of my life, and this was our first time, perfect simply because it was with her. I committed to memory the blush on her cheeks and her swollen red lips; the blue and white blossoms that had blown into her hair from the surrounding flowers, the smell of rain in the air. I would spend the rest of my life loving her in every way imaginable, anywhere in the world she wanted me to, but here, right now, she was about to truly become mine in every way.

"I love you," I said, looking her in the eyes as I pushed my hips forward slightly, letting her guide me in.

"I love you," she whispered as I slowly entered her, struggling to keep my eyes from rolling shut as I sheathed myself completely inside her.

"_Fuck_," I cursed, adjusting to the feeling. _This_…it had never felt like this before. This was something infinitely better because I loved the woman panting beneath me completely and she me.

"My Bella," I groaned, beginning to move, slowly at first, trying not to lose it too soon.

"Yours," she sighed, reigniting my need to possess her totally, the need to _own_ her body, to bring her pleasure, because I was the only who could, flaring within me.

Bracing my arm straight by her head, I used my other to support her back and neck, bringing her up to me so I could kiss her, needing to feel her mouth on mine. The change in position made me go even deeper inside her, her moans spurring me to the brink of my self-control.

"My Edward," she breathed against my mouth, twisting her hands into my hair.

_Goddamnit, she knows what that does to me. _

"_Yes_," I hissed, lowering her back to the ground as I began to move in her faster. Her arms fell back down beside her head, her fists clenching the blanket beneath them as I felt over every one of her curves. I tried to keep my touch gentle, for my thrusts were not as I took her deep and hard at the same time I was giving her everything I had in me. When the emotion and the feeling would begin to overwhelm me, I would slow down as much as I could stand, until her pleading beneath me grew frantic.

"_Edward_…Oh, God…_Please_…Don't stop…More…_Ah_!" she cried, wrapping her leg around my waist to keep me from pulling away again, but it was unnecessary. I couldn't hold it back much longer and began begging her right back.

"Fuck, Bella…Love, I need you to come for me…Come with me, baby…" I pled, groaning with the effort it took me to hold off long enough to make sure she reached the edge first. Her lips parted slightly and her eyes hooded, she pushed up on her elbow to reach up with her other arm to pull me down to her, moaning deeply into my mouth as I mimicked my body's movements with my tongue.

Suddenly, she threw her head back, her nails scratching at my skin as she stiffened and called my name. I had never seen anything more beautiful. I followed right after her, chanting my love for her as I all but collapsed on top of her. If it weren't for her hum of contentment, I would have thought I was crushing her with my weight.

As I softened, I pulled out, earning a light whine from Bella. She shivered as the wind picked up a bit around us, so I rolled beside her and threw the other half of the blanket over us.

"Hey," I whispered, smiling at her as she turned her face toward me with a lazy smile.

"Hi," she whispered back, her cheeks slightly flushed, her hair a wild mess of curls and sex and flowers framing her face. "That was amazing."

"You're amazing."

She smiled shyly back, shaking her head gently. "Always with the smooth talk, Cullen."

"Hey," I shrugged. "It got me the girl."

She arched her eyebrow at me, smirking. "Yeah, well, save it for just _this_ girl, okay?"

"Bella, I've told you," I frowned slightly. "You're _it_ for me."

Rolling onto her side, she found my hands and held them close to her chest. "You know that it's the same for me, right? Today…you remember when I was in the hospital and I sort of went off on Jasper? It's kind of the same thing. I've pretty much lived in _Groundhog Day_ for the last two years and now…everything's changing. And it's changing in a good way, a way that's better and makes me happy, but…in some ways, I'm a lot like my dad. It just takes me a little bit of time to adjust."

I shook my head, bemused. "Love, you can take all the time you need. I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say…"

She breathed in and out heavily, before looking me in the eye with determination. "What I'm saying is I don't want you to wonder whether or not we both mean the same thing when we say _eventually_…_God_, let's start with Lily because she's the biggest part of this…

"Edward, I love her. I loved her the first time she threw her arms around my neck and I'll love her still the day she tells me she hates me because she can't have ice cream for dinner. I'm not stupid, I know how she feels about me, and I _think_ I feel the same way…but I've never really known how motherhood works. I practically raised Renee while I was growing up myself and I want to have a better idea of what that encompasses before I take that on with Lily.

"I want to know what her first word was and how old she was when she crawled. I want time to learn how to balance between how to be me and be _that _for her. But…you _have_ to know what she means to me. I couldn't stand for you to doubt that."

"Bella," I whispered, completely at a loss.

"Please," she breathed. "There's still you…Before you even asked me to move in, I already wanted to. The thought of never seeing either one of you for days on end was excruciatingly painful. If you wanted to do it tomorrow, I'd say yes.

"I've dreamt, read, and written my whole life about finding a love like I have with you and now that I've found it, I'm not so stupid as to ruin it with over-thinking or self-doubt…It's just in the beginning of this, I'd like to think I'd have been okay if you didn't feel the same way, that I would have been able to walk away intact.

"But now, Edward…you hold so much power over me. When you hurt, I hurt. Seeing you happy makes me happy. No one's ever held that kind of power over me before. Not Jacob, not James…only you. And it scares me a little. A lot, actually. Because when I see you…I see everything. Decorating Christmas trees and planning birthday parties and fighting with you over stupid things so we can have ridiculously amazing make-up sex after and watching your hair turn gray and still thinking you're the most ridiculously handsome man that's ever walked the earth.

"And I want it, all of it, with you. I just…just wanted you to know that," she whispered, swallowing visibly and staring deep into my eyes.

My heart was pounding from the power of her words, not even knowing how to respond to her. Nothing in my mind could do justice to what she'd just told me.

_She started with Lily. That's good enough for me._

"Bella," I began. "I need you to know that I never doubted your love for her for a second. You needing time to adjust, that's completely understandable. It's a relief, actually, because it proves just how serious you take this. I've had five years and I still mess up every day. And over time, you'll begin to see what I can, because everything about the way that you care for her is already shaping you into a mother. No one is ever _really_ ready to be a parent and no one is perfect at it. The day you realize that, you'll know. You'll be as ready as you can be. And you'll be amazing.

"But that's nothing to do with my love for you. This insanely overwhelming love we've developed in such a short time was never about my need to have someone for Lily, or even me. I never want to feel like we're together because we need to heal the other or be healed, or because we're tired of being lonely. My feelings for you are purely choice. A choice that makes me happier than I can ever remember being in my life before you. But at the same time…you have to know you have that same power over me, love. And I want absolutely everything with you, too. You _are_ my forever."

Rolling over her, I braced myself above her and stared down into her eyes. "Tell me you know how much you mean to me, Bella. You _have _to know."

"I do. I know," she nodded, a stray tear falling out of her eye that I kissed away at once. I kissed her other cheek, then her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her chin, down her neck, my kisses becoming more frantic as she began to respond under me, rubbing against me and making me grow hard.

"_Fuck_, Bella. I need you again," I groaned, grinding down on her as she dug her fingernails into my back.

"Then take me," she breathed against my mouth. Positioning myself at her entrance, I pushed into her slowly, trying to be gentle in case she was sore. But shy Bella was nowhere to be found, kissing me fiercely before thrusting her hips up. "_Take me_."

Deciding to take advantage of the bolder Bella that had emerged, I rolled us over, her on top of me, never disconnecting us. "Take what you want, sweet girl," I teased as I thrust harder into her.

She moaned, rocking over me and placing my hands on her hips to help guide her. As beautiful as she looked riding me, I couldn't help throwing my head back as the sensations from being so deep inside her threatened to overwhelm me. I felt her lips on my chest and neck and I slid one hand up her body to cup her breast, the softness of her skin rubbing against my chest, teasing me.

Her hands grasped my face as she pulled my mouth to hers, moaning as we sped up our pace. Pushing off the ground, I sat up suddenly, picking her up by the hips and dropping her back down on me hard.

"_Oh fuck,_" Bella breathed, the word falling from her lips making me growl against her skin. Tilting her head away from me with my hands, I latched onto her neck, kissing and sucking and biting hungrily as she continued to rise and sink above me.

"_Christ_, you feel fucking amazing wrapped around me. I want to make you come. Every day, for the rest of your life I want to feel you like this, love," I groaned, slowing our movements slightly before this ended too quickly.

A strangled cry escaped her as she leaned her forehead against mine, her hands on either side of my face. "Always. I'll always want you like this, Edward…_Ah! _I love you," she moaned loudly as she swiveled her hips over mine, taking me by surprise and almost making me lose it.

"I need to feel you come, Isabella," I hissed as her grip on my hair pulled me back. The look in her eye was fire and lust and want, only fueling my burn for her.

Moving her faster and faster above me, I used her moans to guide me, sliding my thumb down to her clit when her breaths became more and more jagged. Rubbing in tight circles, I was rewarded by her voice growing louder and louder, the wind carrying away her frantic cries of _my _name.

"_Mine_," I growled lowly as my orgasm began to build again in the pit of my stomach.

"Yes…_yes_…yours…_yours_…_Edward_!" she cried, and from this position I could actually feel her tighten around me, taking me over right after her. I grunted incoherently into her neck as we sat with our arms wrapped around each other, slowly coming down and still twitching with the aftershocks.

"You…that…I love you, too," I panted dumbly.

"I didn't know you could do that in a cast," she gasped out.

"Casts cannot stop true love," I misquoted mockingly. "Only delay it for a little while."

She laughed breathlessly, raising her head from my shoulder with a smile. I swept her hair out of her face, kissing her lips gently. Looking her seriously in the eye, I told her, "I hope you know that it's going to be even harder for me to keep my hands off of you now, but I don't want us to forget what Siobhan said. I will _always _make time to talk with you about us, Lily, life, anything. Can you promise me you'll try and do the same?" She nodded sweetly back at me, kissing me once more. After a moment, she furrowed her brow, looking around the meadow, throwing the blanket around us.

"Do you hear that?"

Straining my ears, I realized there was a buzzing coming from the inside of my jeans and reaching around her, I fished my phone out of the pocket.

_-Safe to come home in about an hour. Almost done. Mom._

"We're allowed to come home in an hour, apparently," I smirked, a little uncomfortable responding to my mother while still inside Bella. She seemed to be thinking the same thing, because she blushed instantly, rising off of me slowly and sitting beside me. "What would you think about stopping by my house to get cleaned up before we head back?"

Her eyes widened as she began running her fingers through her hair, which was as crazy as mine for once. "Oh my gosh. We have to. My hair is a wreck."

I grinned, laying back down for a moment. "It's kind of like being seventeen again. Trying to sneak back home so the parents don't know what we were up to. Only in this case we have to worry about my brother and sister more."

"Oh my gosh!" she balked. "I didn't even think about Alice and Rose. And _Emmett_…okay, get up, we have to go. No way am I going back home looking like this." She started sifting through the clothes around us, eyeing me sideways when she started to put on my boxers.

"Hey! Those are mine!" I laughed, trying to pull them away from her.

"Fine. You can wear mine…Oh wait, Mr. Pantyripper, mine are in pieces."

"Yeah they are," I said cockily, picking them up off the ground. "Fine. I'll go commando." Slipping my jeans on, I watched her jaw drop as I slid what was left of her panties into my pocket.

"Edward!" she shrieked, lunging at me. "What are you doing with those?"

"Mine," I taunted, waggling my eyebrows at her obnoxiously. Grabbing her at the waist, I eyed her up and down. "Are you going to keep fighting with me half-naked, or were you going to put some clothes on, Beautiful?"

She blushed deep red, pushing away from me with a scowl, though I could see her lips twitching upward. She threw her shirt on quickly, rolling her eyes and huffing when she realized it was inside out. I couldn't contain myself and burst out laughing, trying to muffle it in the shirt in my hand, earning me a punch in the arm.

"Laugh it up, Cullen," she warned. "See how long it is until you see me naked again. Especially since you waited _so long_."

That shut me up. "What are you talking about?"

In that ridiculous Barry White voice, she fixed her shirt and buttoned up her sweater as she said, "Before, when you were in the hospital and first came home, I couldn't tell you I wanted to see you naked. But now it's okay."

I gaped. "I didn't."

Pulling her skirt up her legs, she nodded seriously. "Oh, you _did_…Are you going to keep staring at me half-naked, or were you going to put some clothes on, Handsome?" she smirked, throwing my words back at me.

Shaking my head and grinning wryly at her, I slipped my shirt on and grabbed my button-down. She was chuckling to herself as we put our shoes and shoe back on, in her eyes the battle clearly won and over. Standing quickly and pulling her to her feet, I reached down and bunched up the blanket before swinging her on my back with no warning.

"Edward!" she squealed.

"Edward!" I squeaked back, mocking her in my best chipmunk impression as I began walking back to the car.

"I do not sound like that!" she huffed, tightening her arms around my neck as I jumped over a fallen tree log.

"I do not sound like that!" I copied, laughing hard when she tried to tickle my ribs but latched on for dear life instead when I pretended to start to drop her.

"Are you done now?" she sighed exasperatedly, though I could hear the smile in her voice.

"_Al_-most," I answered slowly, making her groan.

"I am no longer speaking to you," she stated firmly.

"_C'mon_…you know you love me," I laughed, until I felt her tongue drag up the back of my neck and her teeth bite into my skin. I screeched to a halt, almost tripping over my own feet. "_Bella_."

"What?" she replied, false innocence dripping from her voice. "I wasn't speaking to you, but I had to tell you I love you, too."

I clenched my jaw, my grip around her legs tightening. "Bella, unless you want me to take you against that tree and fuck you until you can't walk, do _not_ do that again."

"And if I want you to do that?" she whispered seductively in my ear, kissing my neck just behind it.

_Huh. Turns out that's a spot on me, too._

"You're going to be the death of me," I groaned, making her burst into laughter. Taking her hand and guiding it down the front of my jeans, I hissed, "Does that feel like I'm joking, Isabella?"

Her laughter abruptly stopped in a sharp intake of breath.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I didn't mean to tease you."

Taking a deep breath, I started walking again. "You know…it's not teasing if you follow through."

She giggled. "Is that so?"

"Mm-hm," I hummed nonchalantly.

I could hear her grin as she dropped soft, short kisses all over my neck. "Well…let's go to your house-"

"_Our_ house," I interrupted.

"_Our_ house," she corrected. "Let's make ourselves presentable…go back to your parents' place…spend time with your family-"

"_Our_ family," I interrupted again.

"_Our_ family," she conceded, laughing lightly. "And after everybody's asleep…have you ever had sex in your old bedroom, Edward?"

"The death of me!" I yelled dramatically, taking off into a sprint for the car, her laugh trailing behind us the whole way.

.

**A/N: Reviews are veddy, veddy nice to read. (Stole that from songster) And I read them all. Und try to reply also. The quote that Edward plays with is from The Princess Bride, "Death cannot stop true love, only delay it for a little while." Did anybody catch the reference to Eclipse?**

**FGB UPDATE:**

**Monamour is putting together a team for the Fandom Gives Back Eclipse Auction. Team Isakassees is forming! I am offering up at least one one-shot for auction, if there is a demand for more I can definitely offer up more. Basically for every bidder I will do a one-shot. Minimum 5k words, from TINML, any POV, any chapter, can be serious/crackfic/whatever you want. **

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**Fic Recs:**

**And With Thee Fade Away by Derdriu oFaolain**

**Daedalus in Exile by EZRocksAngel**


	31. Chapter 31 Forever Baby

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Please read. I am going on vacation to visit a couple of friends this week, so I will not be having the chance to write. In lieu of skipping next week's update, the girls on the Twilighted forum voted to have this chapter split into two since it was so massive, meaning Part 1 today, Part 2: Birthday next Monday, both BPOV. I'll only have my phone with me, so while I'll be able to read your reviews, I won't be able to reply to them with a teaser. I'll post a teaser on the Twilighted forum before I leave. Link is on my profile.**

Chapter 31: Forever Baby

(September 11th)

BPOV

"That book over there."

I shook my head, smiling.

"Daddy's shirt."

"He's not here, Lily. How could I spy his shirt if he's not here?"

She shrugged, eyeing me shrewdly. "I dunno. Maybe if you were trying to cheat."

"I'm not cheating," I promised. "Do you give up?"

"One more guess," she stated, looking around the room. When her eyes caught her reflection in the large window, she gasped. "My hair!"

Applauding, I grinned. "You got it! Now it's your turn."

She very obviously looked down at my blue walking cast and then teetered her head back and forth while pretending to look about the room.

"I spy, with my little eye, something….blue!"

I proceeded to make several wrong guesses before finally pointing to my cast. Like every time before, she sighed exasperatedly.

"How do you always know?"

Before we could continue our game, I heard the front door open and Lily disappeared from the living room in the blink of an eye.

"They're here! They're here! They're here! Nanaaaaaaa!" she shouted, running to the front of the house to greet my mom and Phil who had just been retrieved by my dad at the airport. I'd thought Edward was going to make the whole family late for their group session until he talked to my dad and found out how close he was, afraid to leave us home alone. As I walked slowly to the front of the house, I saw Lily wrapped around my mom's neck, chattering a million miles a minute. My dad was walking in and out of the downstairs' rooms on the phone, and I couldn't help but overhear.

"Appreciate it, Scott. House is secure. You're relieved," he said briskly before hanging up.

"Dad! What the heck?" I gaped, sure I couldn't be hearing what I thought I was.

"Bella, I will not apologize for seeing to your safety while you were home alone," he said with a nod.

"You had a cop babysit while Lily and I were home for _fifteen_ minutes alone," I stated rather than asked, already knowing the answer.

_Which explains why Edward went so easily to Siobhan's._

He ignored me, turning with a toothy grin to Lily as he picked her out of Renee's arms. "Had to make sure my favorite little kiddo was okay."

His words melted me and my irritation at Edward evaporated as I watched him tickle her cheek with his mustache, making her giggle, the sweetest sound on the planet. Because I'd never lost her, or felt what my dad had gone through, I could only imagine how scary the unknown must be for them. I would never want to leave that giggle monster unprotected either.

_Oh my God, what are we going to do when she has to go to school next year?_

_Oh my God, did I really just ask that?_

I shook myself out of my inner crazy when my mom threw her arms around my neck, embracing me tightly. She checked my aura briefly, pulling back with a sly smirk.

"_Bella_," she whispered, not as quietly as she thought. "You're _purple_, honey. I'm so happy for you! He is _such_ a little hottie-"

"Mom!" I cried, more grateful than ever when Phil pulled her back to follow Lily and my dad into the kitchen, who thankfully missed out on my dear, sweet mother's revelation.

I slipped into the downstairs' bathroom to splash some cool water on my now overheated face, thanks to Renee's overly astute observation. While only a few minutes ago I had been looking forward to spending time with her, I was now desperate to make sure we didn't end up alone together. She would be worse than Alice, Rose, and Emmett _combined_.

Somehow, Edward and I had managed to not be completely obvious in what had transpired between us before coming home yesterday.

_Edward above me in the meadow, his eyes clenched tightly as he whispered his love for me._

_Edward slamming me down on him in the meadow, making me scream until my breath was gone._

_Edward teasing me in the shower, 'helping' me wash everywhere._

_Edward and I falling asleep talking, him waking me in the middle of the night to slip into me as we lay side by side._

_Not going to help with the red cheeks._

Running the towel down my neck, I prepared myself to face my mother again, hoping that a light had flickered or she had found a pattern in her tea leaves since I left her to refocus her concentration. Walking into the kitchen slowly, I was instantly relieved.

"I'll just have to dig them out of my luggage, sweetie, and then you and I can paint them and make necklaces, just you wait. I went up and down the beach three times to find enough shells in all different sizes for us," Renee was telling Lily, who was bouncing excitedly on my dad's lap.

"Can we go find 'em now?" Lily begged, unleashing the full power of her _look_ on Renee. She looked helplessly at me, but there was _no way_ I was saving her. I'd already had to listen to my mother inform me on every _single_ form of birth control earlier this year. And if I never had to listen to her give me blowjob tips again in my life it would be too soon.

"That sounds great, Mom!" I smiled cheerfully, making Phil grin wryly behind her. Lily clapped excitedly, jumping off of Charlie's lap and dragging Renee by the hand out of the kitchen quickly. Phil stood to follow, chuckling under his breath.

"You know you can't escape her forever, Bella," he said as we walked out of the kitchen. I turned smiling to Charlie who was studying me carefully.

"That boy treatin' you right, Bells?" he asked, making me blush.

_In more way than you want to know, Dad._

"Of course he is, Dad," I smiled.

He nodded firmly, continuing to study me. "You look different. I don't know. Happier, maybe. It looks good on you."

"He makes me really happy, Dad," I blushed as he stood to walk with me to find Lily and Renee.

"I'm happy for you, Bells," he said as he squeezed an arm around my shoulder before lowering his voice. "But you tell him if he keeps sneakin' in your room like a thief in the night, he might end up gettin' shot like one. Tell him to use the door like a respectable gentleman," he smirked before walking through the door, leaving me frozen and gaping in the kitchen.

.

"So when are _you_ gonna get married, Papaw?" Lily asked innocently as she strung another seashell onto her necklace. Charlie's eyes got wide and his face flushed bright red as he looked wildly between my mother and me. "Will she be my Nana, too?"

I bit my lip to keep in my laughter as I looked down and focused _very_ hard on my seashell painting.

_Needs more sparkles._

"Well, uh, Lily…see…your Papaw Charlie hasn't been dating Sue for very long," my dad sputtered out. "Grownups don't usually talk about getting married n' stuff for a long time be-"

"Are you gonna have a baby?" Lily interrupted, unimpressed with his response. "Can you make sure it's a girl?"

"Lily," my mother chirped, her face red with concealed laughter. "Are you excited for Bella's birthday party on Friday?"

Lily was instantly distracted and I thought my dad might faint in relief. "Yeah! Do you wanna see what I-…Bella, don't listen. It's a surprise."

"I can't turn off my ears," I laughed, just as I heard the front door open and everyone come pouring in.

"Dadd-eeeeeee!" she squealed, running out of the living room at warp speed into his open arms, just like she did when Renee arrived.

"_My baby_," he gasped, wrapping his arms around her in a desperate relief as she froze. His eyes flew open and locked with mine as he realized his slip. We'd yet to try our 'homework' from Siobhan and he was obviously feeling the effects of therapy combined with being away from her to make such a blunder.

The family was frozen around the room as I rushed towards them, trying to force out a believable laugh. "But Edward, I thought _I_ was your baby. Besides, Lily and I have been having a lot of fun painting seashells. I don't know if I want to share the_ baby._"

Lily whipped around still loosely encased in Edward's arms, her little chest breathing rapidly.

"Is that okay, Mommy? I mean…Bella. Can I still be the baby? Am I your baby, too?"

Walking carefully to her, I used the wall to help me slide down to eye level with her.

"Lily, you were _always_ Daddy's baby. You were never…that man's. And I'm so lucky Daddy shares you with me, because…" I thought hard, struggling to find the right words. Whispering to her, but meaning every word, I held her face gently, trying to reassure her. "Because you are the sweetest Little Thing I could have ever asked for."

A tentative smile spread across her face. "But can I still be the baby if I'm big?"

My dad spoke from somewhere behind me, his voice holding a softness I didn't often hear. "Lily, no matter how big you get, I promise you you'll always be your daddy's baby girl. 'Cause Bella's still my baby girl. _And she's old_," he whispered loudly and I whipped my head around to see him wink exaggeratedly at her, making her giggle nervously.

Edward's eyes were flying between the back of Lily, me and my dad alarmingly quickly as he remained crouched down, frozen still.

She locked eyes with me, whispering hoarsely. "So…it was like another lie? Like you're not fat and I'm not Abby? 'Cause I never wanted to call him Daddy, Bella."

My hand flew up to my chest to keep the pain there contained as I watched Edward's hand start shaking around Lily. He was staring at me helplessly, but only he could give her the assurance she needed. I could tell he was terrified of setting her off, but if he did, we'd deal with it.

_You can do this_.

I tried to communicate my faith in him through my eyes and he got it, nodding slowly as he gently pulled Lily back against his body.

"My sweet little love," he said softly against her hair. "Everything that man ever said was a lie. Black, mean, awful lies. I know you never wanted to call him 'Daddy.' And I'm not mad that you did. I am your _real_ Daddy and you, Lily Autumn Cullen, are…_my baby_….and no one can ever take that away from us. You will still be my baby when you're old and gray with babies and grandbabies of your own. You will always be my little chef, my biggest fan, my favorite patient, my princess, my Lilybug, my _baby_," he whispered, his voice breaking.

Tears ran unchecked down my face as I watched her turn around and wrap her arms around his neck, sniffling into his shoulder. It seemed everyone had disappeared to give them a moment of privacy and I wished I could do the same, but getting up from the floor was nearly impossible without help. But if I had, I would have missed the sweetest thing I'd ever heard Lily say, which was really saying something.

"You forgot Little Thing, Daddy. And you gotta share me with Bella," she sniffed. "I share her with you. Like a real family."

I threw my hand over my mouth to keep my sobs in as he looked up and met my eyes, his own overflowing with tears. He reached one of his arms out to me and I slid over carefully, tucking my head into the other side of his neck as I brought my arms around both of them. Lily raised her head up and I did the same, wiping away her little tears.

"I love you both so much," Edward whispered, making us both turn our heads toward him.

"We love you, too, Daddy," Lily said sweetly, her cheerfulness returning quickly. "You wanna see my seashells?"

He smiled weakly, pushing her hair out of her face. "I do, but…Lily, I need to know. If me calling you 'baby' upsets you, I don't have to. I call Bella that and I guess I just forgot when I saw you today I was so happy to see you and I missed you so much…"

She shook her head, pursing her lips in serious thought. "You should deftly call me 'baby' now while you still can. Make sure when you have a new baby with Bella it's a girl so we can play dress-up. I think we'll call her Ariel." She kissed his cheek and skipped down the hallway, calling for Renee, leaving me in Edward's arms, gaping after her dumbfounded.

"Thank you," he murmured softly, making me whip my head around.

"For what?" I asked bewildered.

"You could have handled that when I froze, but you didn't. I could see you really thought I could do it. And I did."

Sighing, I pushed him back gently so he would sit against the wall and I could crawl into his lap.

"You don't have to thank me for believing in you," I smiled sadly. "Even if she had gotten worked up, we could have handled it. But that was between the two of you. You were the only one that could help her feel better. I…I never knew she felt guilty about calling him-"

"Please…don't say it," he begged, his voice cracking.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly, looking down at my hands twisting in my lap as my lip began to tremble. "This really isn't how I saw today going."

Bringing my chin up, he shook his head as he wiped my tears away. "Every time, it gets a little easier though, doesn't it? Every time, it makes the pain a little bit less, takes us a little closer to being healed. And one day, we'll get there, all of us. Even if we still have a long way to go, it _will_ happen, love."

I nodded, sniffling. "We have to tell her about moving in together. She's going to flip."

He chuckled, cradling my face gently. "Let's tell her for her birthday. It'll beat ladybugs and books combined."

I smiled back at him, leaning into his touch as he brought his lips to mine.

"Bella, honey, _oh_!" my mother's voice burst our bubble, bringing us back to the reality of being on the floor in the hallway, not ten feet from where our entire families were waiting for us in the living room.

We broke apart, only to look up to see my mother scurrying back into the living room. I gave him a sheepish smile as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I think it might be time for us to leave," I guessed and a quick check to his watch followed by his grimace confirmed it. "How did it go?"

He swallowed, glancing once more with irritation toward the living room, making me roll my eyes.

"It was…good seems like a weird way to describe it. It was hard at times, but it felt good. Just talking through how everybody felt during that time and the fears we all have still for the future turned me into a fucking wreck by the end of the hour. After reliving all those memories, it felt like seeing her again for the first time when we came home. I don't know how it's going to be for you. It might…it might be hard for you to hear how it affected your parents while you were gone. Promise me if you start getting upset you'll call it a day."

"My dad won't let me get too worked up," I shrugged. "I'm more worried about my mom."

"Yeah, well, I'm more worried about you. Your mom's got Phil. I feel like I should be there for you."

"Edward," I coaxed. "My dad will be there. And you know firsthand Siobhan's great. I'll be fine. But I do promise we'll end it if I start to get upset, okay?" I agreed, if only to placate him.

He smiled happily in relief, leaning in to kiss me again as we heard footsteps coming from the living room. He pulled back, clenching his jaw. "I need time alone with you. Soon."

I giggle-snorted, remembering my dad's warning earlier. Leaning in, I whispered quickly as my family came down the hall. "Well, my dad says use the door from now on like a respectable gentleman." I kissed the corner of his wide open mouth, trying not to laugh as an awful choking sound erupted from his throat, taking my dad's arm as we headed out to Siobhan's.

.

"Does anyone need anything before we begin? Coffee? Bottle of water?" Siobhan asked kindly as we made ourselves comfortable in her office. Everyone shook their head, though I noticed Phil sat down next to the table nearest the Kleenex as he and my mom settled into the couch. "Well, I feel I should formally introduce myself, even though we all know who each other are. I'm Siobhan and you all know I've been working with Bella, Edward, and Lily. And I'm pleased to meet the three of you today.

"The goal of today is to simply express your feelings to each other in regards to what happened to Bella and Lily. Any fears, regrets, whatever you'd like to get off your chest. Part of healing is to acknowledge the pain you have all been through so you can move past it. Holding onto it does nothing but poison us.

"But let's start off easy. I understand you just arrived from Florida, Mrs. Dwyer. How was yours and Mr. Dwyer's flight?"

"Oh, please. It's Renee," my mother waved. "You know, it was flying. Easy take-off and landing, no crying babies, good tailwind. We were just so excited to be coming back. It was…very hard having to leave Bella," her voice wavered.

"I can only imagine," Siobhan soothed. "Oftentimes, in cases of abduction, there is that one thing we wish we could take back or get the chance to tell the person we lost. Is there anything you'd like to get to say to Bella today, Renee?"

She blinked back tears as Phil began rubbing her back softly. "I…I wouldn't even know where to begin. There are so many things I would have done differently when she was growing up. I…I would tell her I'm sorry she had to take care of me all those years when I was too young to know that's what she was even doing…I would tell her how proud I am to see the woman she is now…And I love her and-" she burst into tears, speaking incoherently as Phil pulled her into his side, hushing her and giving her tissue.

I looked helplessly at Siobhan as my father was burning holes in the carpet with his eyes. Siobhan smiled gently at me. "We'll just give her a minute and then we'll let you respond and answer the same question for her, Bella."

I gulped, afraid anything I said would just make her worse, but nodded and breathed deeply as my mother slowly quieted. Bouncing my leg nervously, I began. "Um…Mom, I don't really know what to say…I wouldn't change anything from my life growing up with you. I love you as you are, the same way you've always loved me. I never doubted that I had that from you. That was all I ever needed and you gave that to me."

She burst into fresh tears, wailing loudly. Charlie shifted uncomfortably in his seat, tossing Phil another box of tissues as Renee hit the bottom of the first one. Siobhan turned to Charlie, making him freeze.

"Charlie? If I asked you the same question?"

He looked like he had something sour in his mouth as his eyes darted nervously from her to me and I was startled when I saw tears in his eyes.

_Renee crying is nothing new. I can't see Charlie cry. He's the Chief._

"Dad?" I asked quietly, holding my breath as I waited for him to say something. He cleared his throat, leaning forward and rubbing his palms over his knees, keeping his eyes down.

"I…I would just tell her I'm sorry for…everything."

"Sorry for what, Dad?" I asked, confused.

"Just…everything, Bells," he said, his voice cracking. He was really starting to scare me. "I'm sorry I pushed you onto Jacob, 'cause you wouldn't've moved away. You never would've been here to begin with. I'm sorry I spent my weekends fishin' instead of with you. I'm sorry I've given you more hugs in the last month than your whole life. I'm sorry I always waited for you to say 'I love you' first. I'm-" his voice broke as my eyes began running like a faucet.

"_Daddy_," I whispered, standing quickly to walk over to him, sitting down in a chair beside him. He pulled me to him immediately, surprising me with the strength in his hug. As we cried, flashes of a hospital room and my dad upset kept coming at me, but I closed my eyes to try and push them out for now. "Dad, you can't blame yourself about Jacob. _I_ made my choice and it turned out to be the wrong one, but I'm glad. Because I've got Edward now. And I never would have met him if I didn't come to Seattle. I love it here, Dad. I loved spending time with you in Forks, too, though, and I always knew you loved me, even if you didn't say it all the time. Every can of pepper spray, every time you cleaned your shotgun to scare off boys, every copy of my book you bought, I knew. Please, Dad," I begged hoarsely.

He coughed, slowly loosening his hold on me as I pulled back to see my mother clutching onto Phil for dear life as tears streamed down her cheeks. I offered her a weak smile and she tried to smile back, her lips quivering as she nodded to me, letting me know she was okay. Siobhan handed my dad and I a box of tissues, smiling kindly at the both of us before addressing the room.

"It's perfectly understandable and common even, to have a sense of survivor's guilt when it comes to seeing a loved one taken from us. Charlie, Renee…It's important to always remember that while we all have regrets in life, what we've done 'til now has shaped us into the people we are today. And Bella has expressed clearly she is very happy with where she is in her life.

"Bella, the most important thing I want _you_ to hear today is how much you are loved and that no one holds you responsible for what happened. That blame rests on the abductor, and he alone. It's a normal human reaction to want to shoulder some of that burden to help us feel more in control, but the truth is that we cannot change the past. What's done is done, and what was done was a disturbed individual hurting someone you all love very much.

"The only direction we can move in now is forward."

.

"Thank you all so much for coming today. I feel we had a very healing session."

"Oh, how could we not have!" my mother sniffled, her tears _finally _drying as our hour passed. "Your gold is almost overpowering. You have such a gift, Siobhan."

Siobhan looked confusedly around the room, looking for overpowering gold accents where there were only soft blues and creams. "I'm sorry?"

Renee walked forward, placing her hands on Siobhan's shoulders and closing her eyes to inhale deeply. "Yes. So much gold. With the proper crystals, I can't even imagine."

"Oh, dear God," my dad muttered, glaring at Phil and motioning for him to get my mom out of here, while Siobhan's lip and eye twitched.

"Bella," she whimpered, trying not to laugh. "I'll see you next week."

I grimaced, nodding as I followed everyone out to the car to drive home. My mother chattered the entire way back about how much she loved Siobhan and how well she thought the session went, while Phil dutifully nodded and agreed at the appropriate intervals. I snickered under my breath the whole way as my dad drove, watching him mimic her incessant talking and pretend to drive into oncoming traffic to end the noise. Phil caught on about halfway to the house and was almost purple by the time we pulled up to the Cullens' from trying not to laugh.

Renee practically floated out of the car into the house, followed closely behind by the rest of us. We heard voices coming from the living room and made our way down the hall. I was so focused on finding Edward, I didn't even notice the Barbie car on the floor in front of me until my foot was in it and I was falling.

As I tumbled down, I tried to grab onto the nearest person I could to brace myself and stop the fall, but only succeeded in making them lose their balance and fall right on top of me as I landed hard on my stomach, crushing me to the floor with their weight as I heard shouting all around me.

"_Count!"_

_No, no, no. He's gone. This can't be happening…_

"_You little bitch! I fucking hate you!"_

The weight was suddenly gone from on top of me, but it did nothing to relieve the tightness in my chest as I braced myself for the kicking to start.

_Don't pass out. Don't pass out._

"_Shut up!"_

_No. Stop it. Stop it._

"_You ruined-"_

"…here. You're safe. He's gone. He's gone. It's-"

"_I'll kill you!"_

_Please, someone help. Please._

"It's Edward. You're home. I'm holding you right now. You're here. You're safe. He's gone. He's gone, love."

_He's gone. This can't be real. He's gone.  
_

"That's right, Bella. It's not real. Whatever you're seeing, it's not real. He's gone, love. Open your eyes, you'll see me. I've got you."

I shook my head at the thought of opening my eyes, too afraid to chance seeing myself back in the cabin. It couldn't have all been a dream, could it?

_Hospital rooms, casts, Lily, Edward, my family, the Cullens, the balcony in lights, Edward's house…_

_I'm going to live there. That has to be real. The meadow…_

"C'mon, baby, please. Please open your eyes," a voice cracked.

_I love that voice_.

Opening my eyes slowly, I inhaled sharply as I looked into two bright, green eyes, rimmed in red. "_Edward,_" I whispered, melting into him as he held me close. Looking over his shoulder as he hugged me, I could see my mom and dad sitting next to Phil, who looked absolutely distraught, his head in his hands.

_Ohhhhh. He must have been who I fell on. Poor Phil._

Everyone else seemed to have disappeared from the room, and for that I was thankful.

_Going crazy with an audience is never ideal._

"Phil," I croaked, making his head fly up with a wild look in his eye. "I'm-"

"Bella! I'm so sorry! I can go and get a hotel room if you need me to, honey I'm so, so sorry." He stopped apologizing when I started shaking my head incredulously, looking at Edward to try and figure out how to fix this. He gave me a sad smile and kissed my forehead, before pulling me up to stand and then scooping me up bridal-style.

"Phil, that's not necessary. It didn't have anything to do with you. I'm going to take Bella upstairs for a bit. We'll see you all later," he spoke kindly, but with authority, not waiting for a reply before walking out and taking us upstairs. "Your room or mine, love?"

"Yours," I whispered, tightening my arms around his neck. He took me inside and laid me down on the bed, walking back to close the door.

He crawled into bed with me, pulling my shoe off and tossing it aside before covering us with the blanket. "Talk to me, baby. Let it out."

My tears started anew as I tried to explain what I'd felt when I fell as he held me close and shushed me when it became too much.

"It's okay," he soothed. "It's over now…You know, you actually did really well."

"What are you talking about?" I sobbed. "I made Phil feel like he needed to leave, after he just got done saying at Siobhan's how bad he feels he doesn't know me better. I just freaked out in front of your whole family, like a complete crazy person, no control-"

"That's not true," he argued. "I heard you whispering to yourself. A part of you knew that it wasn't happening and you were trying to bring yourself out of it. You didn't try to fight me when I picked you up and you were much more coherent when you opened your eyes. And this is the first time you haven't gotten sick."

"But…but…but I can't stop….crying," I whimpered, still trying to catch my breath and believe what he was saying. I wanted to believe that I was getting better, but setbacks like these destroyed my self-confidence.

"I thought that's what you said girls do," he smiled, rubbing his thumbs under my eyes gently. I tried to laugh through my sniffles, the sad haze not completely lifting until he brought his t-shirt up to wipe my face. "This is really the best way to clean up. Trust me, I'm a doctor."

I snorted completely unattractively, laughing into his shirt and holding him close like he was my lifeline until a horrifying thought struck me. Pulling back, I asked, "Where was Lily? Did she see that?"

He shook his head, smoothing my hair down from the crazy it probably currently was around my face. "She's taking a nap in her room. The only people here were me and my parents. It's okay, love. Let's get your mind off of it, alright? Tell me about the session. Or do you want to hear about mine first?"

Sniffling, I took a shaky breath. "You first," I mumbled, snuggling into him.

"Well, to start with, I don't think my mom stopped crying from the second she sat down until we left…" he began, revealing everyone's overwhelming emotions at developing friendships with me through our tragedy, their relief to have Lily back, their anger at James, and the changes everyone saw in Edward since our relationship blossomed.

"…Emmett probably went on for a solid ten minutes about how proud he was of you, love. I could hear his brain rattling every time Rose popped him for making a joke about you kicking ass. I happen to agree with him, though," he laughed, pulling back slightly to hold my face. I smiled back at him, humming happily as he moved his lips against mine slowly.

"I should let them know I'm okay," I sighed half-heartedly, not really wanting to move. He tightened his hold around me, stubbornly shaking his head.

"No. I'm not ready to share you yet. Here," he paused, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He tapped a few keys and then tossed it onto his bedside table. "I sent your dad a text letting him know you're alright and you just need to rest for a bit. And speaking of your dad, please explain to me how he was able to know I've been sneaking into your room."

"I guess your ninja stealth just isn't what it used to be, Cullen," I laughed, squirming away as he poked my stomach. "I don't know _how_, he's just the Chief." Remembering the same thing I thought as I watched my dad cry earlier made my smile fall and Edward became serious at once, wrapping his arms around me again.

"Talk to me," he murmured, running his fingers through my curls.

"It's just…my dad…he cried today," I sniffed, trying not to burst into tears for round twenty-three of the day. "I mean, like cried really, _really_ hard and I don't think I've ever seen my dad cry, but then I kept getting these flashes from being in the hospital and he was crying there, but I always thought that was a dream or something."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he shushed, rubbing my back gently. "You were in critical condition and severely dehydrated. It's no surprise your memories are murky. I'm sure he could clear up anything you want to ask him about. But Bella…even daddies need to cry sometimes," he said softly, copying the words I'd spoken to Lily, words I hadn't been aware she'd told him about.

_Here comes round twenty-three._

He held me again as I cried, telling him how guilty my dad felt over everything that happened, all the grief he felt over my relationship with Jacob, how he felt that was the catalyst for everything that happened to me. I told him about the whole hour, the hard bits and the not-so-hard bits.

"…you should have seen Siobhan's face when my mom told her how 'overpowering her gold was,'" I laughed through my tears. "And then the whole way home my dad was making fun of her. I felt so bad, but God…it was so funny. He's not usually so…light."

"He almost lost you, baby," he said softly, propping up on his elbow to look down at me. "What else can he do now but love every minute he spends with you? I didn't even know you before I lost you and your laugh is one of the happiest sounds in my world."

Determined to stop the crying, I blinked rapidly, shaking my head at him. "You and that sweet talk are going to kill me one of these days, Cullen."

"Think I've got a chance at getting lucky first?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at me, making me laugh loudly.

"Not with our parents downstairs and awake, perv," I giggled, playfully shoving him back as he rubbed his scruff into my neck.

"But I_ need _you," he whined, not even able to keep a straight face before cracking up. He rolled over me, grinning crookedly as I nestled myself into his pillow. "There's my sweet girl. I'm issuing an edict. No more crying today. Only smiles from you for the rest of the day."

I smiled shyly, straightening out the neck of his t-shirt and nodding. "Agreed. I'm all cried out."

We kissed for a few moments, until he pulled away and stared down at me in silence.

"What?" I asked, shifting uncomfortably under his heated gaze.

"Are you really feeling okay now?"

I nodded, scratching my nails against the nape of his neck, making his eyes roll shut lazily.

"If I were a cat, I'd be purring right now," he sighed, opening his eyes slowly. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah," I agreed, confused. "You can talk to me about anything. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_, per se," he replied reluctantly, sliding off of me to sit up against the headboard. I followed suit, looking at him in question.

"Alright," he sighed, tracing the lines in my palm as he spoke. "I mentioned earlier about us telling Lily you were moving in for her birthday."

I nodded, trying to follow.

"What would you think about actually moving in for her birthday?" At my confused expression, he hurried on. "Look, it's just…I spoke with Dr. Gerandy today, he's the Chief of Medicine at my hospital. I had two weeks left on my ER rotation when I had to…take time off. Since then I've missed two rotations that I can make up at the end of the year, but he wants me back on the fourteenth to finish out the last of the ER rotation before I continue on with my residency."

"The fourteenth? You're going back on Saturday?" I exclaimed, shocked his boss would give him so little notice.

He furrowed his brow in confusion for a second before understanding washed over him and he shook his head, smiling apologetically. "No, love. _October_ fourteenth. Sorry. I said it in my head, but…sorry. He wants me to start on October fourteenth, which is a Monday. It's a little over a month away, but it got me thinking…"

"Dangerous habit," I snarked, squirming out of reach when he tried to tickle me.

"I got to _thinking_," he glared at me playfully, "that…I think it's time to go home. Being here…it's like we're shut off from the real world. Before, it was the best place to be, you needed help, to be honest, _I_ needed help adjusting; we had to worry about the media and all that other bullshit, but now…it feels like it's time to get back into the swing of things. I want some time for the three of us to live together before I've got to go back. For us to…get used to each other, make up our own routines…"

"I get what you're saying," I interrupted softly. "It _is_ sort of like a bubble here. You don't mean actually move in _on _her birthday, though, do you?"

"No," he sighed. "I was thinking either the weekend before or after. Really, it's just your stuff we're moving. All she and I have to do is get in the car and drive home."

"So you'd want to do it as early as next weekend?" I…_shit, I do squeak sometimes._ I could feel my nerves building, but it was in anticipation more than anything else. Three weeks for the three of us…

His lip twitched and I glared at him in warning to not make fun of me for the squeak, preparing myself to counter back with Barry White if necessary, when he sobered up. "Only if that's okay with you. And we've still got to tell Lily. Oh, _shit_. I've got to tell your dad. He's gonna shoot me, I just know it."

"Edward, that man loves you," I grinned, rolling my eyes. "He is _not_ going to shoot you. At least not to kill…But seriously, you don't need to worry about Charlie. I'm way more worried about Lily."

"Are you kidding?" he snorted. "I envision her doing cartwheels off the ceiling while congratulating herself on a job well done. She loves you, Bella. You can't doubt that."

"No, I don't doubt that she loves me, it's just…God, Edward! What if she asks if that means we're getting married now, or if that makes me her mom. I mean…I could totally see her replacing my birth control with sugar pills if she had her way."

"Bella," he laughed, pulling me into his side. "We'll just talk to her proactively. Explain right away that we're not getting married, you're just going to live with us. I will kick Rose's ass if my daughter knows how birth control pills work, so help me…And love," he murmured. "She's not going to ask you to be her mom. She's…she's afraid to."

"What?" I gasped.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his hand down my arm. "She's afraid you'll say no. We had a talk while you were gone at the session before I put her down for her nap. She…_God_, she broke my heart…She says she told you she wanted you to be her mommy when you were…away. Don't, uh…don't be mad, but she kind of cornered me. Apparently you told her it wasn't up to you? So she wanted to know if it was okay with me…"

"She thinks I don't want her?" I breathed, tears burning my eyes. I began tossing the blankets off my legs, trying to untangle myself to go to her. "_No, no, no._ She can't think that. I have to talk to her, she can't…" I stopped as he grabbed my arm, bringing me back to him.

"Bella," he spoke slowly, as if to calm a wild animal, which I probably resembled. "I never said she thinks you don't want her. Her little mind is just afraid of being told no again. I told her that we would have to be married for you to be her mother, and you and I just decided we would tell her straight away that's not happening yet."

"Yet?" I inhaled sharply. "When…when do you think that _will_ be happening?" My heart was pounding in my chest, but again, it wasn't nerves. It was hearing him actually _say_ it. And loving the sound of it.

He smirked, looking me straight in the eye. "Isabella Swan, since I've met you, every step we've taken has been toward forever. I love you so completely and I know you love me the same way. You are _it _for me; there will never be anyone else. And sometime in the distant or not-so-distant future, I _am_ going to ask you to marry me. And I'm going to wait until a time when we are so solid and so sure and so _right_ that I won't even be nervous and you won't even hesitate. Because you _will_ say yes."

I blinked back tears as I gaped at him. "You know, if you weren't so stupid right and smart and sweet, I'd smack you for all that cockiness."

"You're admitting that I'm right?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow up and trying not to smile.

"Stupid right," I corrected, sniffing, making him grin widely.

"All I heard was right," he sighed, finally earning himself that smack. "Oh, the violence…What say we finish that moving-in conversation?"

I nodded as I settled against him, my head against his chest.

"So…next weekend or weekend after?"

"Next," I murmured quietly, eager to start this new chapter in our lives. He squeezed me gently, and I could hear the smile in his voice as he continued with our plans.

"So next week we figure out what you want to take and just cover the rest since you're keeping your place. We can do movers or brothers, whichever one you'd like. We'll take our time unpacking and then have Lily's birthday party that weekend. Whenever her birthday falls on a weekday, we always do it the following Saturday and just have a small cake the day of her actual birthday."

"What's her favorite cake?" I whispered, ecstatic to get to witness my first birthday with her.

He laughed, not unkindly. "It changes every year, so long as the icing's pink. We have a lot of fun making a mess of the kitchen while we bake it together. Except this year we'll have you, so maybe my kitchen will survive."

"Are you sure…do you want that to just be the two of you? I don't want to intrude…"

Suddenly I was lifted bodily and straddling his lap as he stared at me, his face expressionless.

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded automatically and he shook his head in return.

"I mean, really, truly. _Do you trust me_?"

"Yes, of course I do, Edward," I insisted, incredulous.

"And do you love me? Every part?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed, affronted.

"Then I never want to hear you say again that you're worried about _intruding_," he emphasized, his eyes blazing. "If you're moving in with me, with _us_, then I'm sharing my life with you. And Lily is a part of that. If I need time with her, _trust_ me to say so. I'm trusting you to tell me when you need time for yourself. I'm trusting you to come to me if it's too much. You have to do the same. What did you say when we started this? Equals? Let us be, then. Don't reconsider everything twice and over-think yourself into a frenzy.

"Love, I know you're scared to mess up with her, overstep, whatever. But the truth is that all of those things are going to happen occasionally. I wasn't being self-deprecating when I told you I still mess up everyday. It's the reality of parenting. It's the reality of life! If we had an argument, would you think the entire relationship was a wash?"

I shook my head firmly, comprehension slowly dawning on me.

_I really do think too hard sometimes._

"Try this again. This year we'll have you, so maybe my kitchen will survive," he stopped, raising his brow at me to continue.

Smiling shyly, I tucked my hair behind my ear as he held my chin so as not to let me drop my eyes. "I promise no smoke alarms will go off, but I live for a good flour fight."

He beamed at me brightly as he brought me in for a tight hug. "Last year she cracked an egg right on top of my head. I chased her around the entire kitchen with yolk dripping down my face."

"I love you," I murmured, pushing myself closer into him.

"Forever," he breathed as he kissed the top of my hair.

.

(September 12th)

"Give me your pinky, Bella," Lily huffed, thrusting her finger at me.

I obliged, locking pinkies with her as I tried to keep a straight face. "I pinky-promise to not leave my room until you say it's okay. I will not try to find out what my present is. I will stay right here and write my letters."

I gave her finger a kiss and a blink, making her beam before she turned back to Edward. He crouched down to eye level with her, bringing her in for a hug. "Why don't you go downstairs and find Aunt Ali, okay, baby? I'll be down there in just a minute."

She didn't even flinch, nodding happily and pounding down the stairs without a look back. As soon as she was out of the room, his mouth was on mine, moving against my lips with hunger. I didn't even realize we had moved until my back hit the wall. He broke away, leaning his forehead against mine, panting heavily.

"Not that I'm complaining," I gasped. "But what was that for?"

"Those _women_ downstairs," he spat, "are going to keep me running around like a crazy person all damn day getting everything ready for tomorrow. Which means I won't be back up here for _hours._ And while I'm really excited to get to spoil you rotten on your birthday, I'm dreading having to deal with my sister. She's remarkably frightening for such a small person when she's in party planning mode."

I laughed breathlessly until my breath hitched in my throat as he began moving his lips against my neck, holding me firmly, where I could feel how our kissing was affecting him against my stomach.

"And all I want," he murmured against my skin, "is to lock myself away with you and kiss you from head to toe."

My eyes closed against my will as my body responded _everywhere_ to him. "I thought…that's what you did _last_ night."

"Your point?"

I moaned as his hands started to roam over me, making me melt into his touch.

"_Edward!_" a shrill voice called up the stairs.

"Goddamn, cock-blocking, shrew of a sibling," he cursed under his breath, making me giggle.

"At least you're free to roam the house," I coaxed, straightening out the V in his brow. "I'm confined to quarters all day."

"I'll rescue you later. The princess shall be saved from her tower, milady." He sighed dramatically, backing away from me slowly as he held our hands between us. "Your prince vows it!"

"Oh, brave knight," I fanned myself. "I will wait for you until you have escaped the dragon."

"_Edward!_"

He groaned, dropping my hand and walking backwards out of my door. "She is a treacherous foe, but fear not, fair lady. I will prevail!" he yelled, closing my door with a flourish as he bowed down, leaving me in stitches.

Once I'd recovered, I made myself comfortable in my bed, opening my laptop and finding the email with the search party contacts listed. Setting up my stationary in my lap, I started with the first person on my list.

_Dear Stan,_

_On behalf of myself, Lily Cullen, and our families, thank you so much…_

I began my thank-you letters to every member of the search party that helped find Lily and me in the woods outside Port Angeles. My hand started to cramp, so I took a break and began putting together care packages for Detectives Aro and Scotts with the ingredients Esme had picked up for me.

_Coffee, travel mugs, single-malt whiskey, monster cookies, gift cards for dinner…_

Once my hand had recovered enough to try writing again, I made my way down the list, pausing when I reached the last name.

_Jacob Black._

Narrowing my eyes at the screen, I scowled, torn between doing the right thing or sending him a book on anger management or a bag of dog poop.

_Oh, that's perfect._

Smirking, I picked up my phone to dial Esme.

"_Do you need something, Bella?"_

"Yeah, Esme, I know you're really busy, but do you think it would be possible to pick up a dog bone the next time someone runs to the store? Like a really big one."

"_Um…sure, dear. Your father's about to run out now. I think I can still catch him."_

"Thanks, Esme."

"_No problem, dear. Er, bye-bye."_

"Bye."

Grinning to myself, I picked up another box as I started to address one last care package. Billy's was already done. He had an entire coupon book full to redeem for dinners in the future, along with a batch of cookies and a six-pack of tall boys.

_Leah Black c/o Billy Black_

.

**A/N: So there you have it, Part 1. I'd love to hear what you thought. Something to read on the plane. **** I'll reply when I get back.**

**FGB Update:**

**Monamour (thendisjustthebeginning at gmail dot com) has been hard at work compiling Team Isakassees. Contact her for any information regarding how to sign up and to start letting her know of any outtake ideas you'd like to see.  
**


	32. Chapter 32 Happy Birthday Bella

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: I'm baaaack! I had a great time away even if I am still jet-lagged beyond belief. LA was great, but the drivers scare the bejesus out of me and LV was really cool too. I saw Phantom and then I stood with my friend as she got married at the Venetian over the bridge in the square. It was beautiful.**

**Anyway, I've got to hit the writing this week with the quickness, so I need you guys to let me know if you want for me to write first and then try and reply to last week's reviews, or reply then write. If I reply then write, there's a very good chance Chapter 33 will be late. But it's your call. If you perhaps had a question you asked last week and would rather I get to writing, you could always just ask it again. Thank you to all the well-wishes for my trip and I'm happy to report that I wasn't killed in a plane crash, as I was very worried about that.**

**To brother: You should pretty much just skip the whole chapter. I'll give you a recap that won't make either of us feel icky inside.  
**

Chapter 32: Happy Birthday, Bella

BPOV

(September 13th)

"_Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, my sweet girl, happy birthday to you_."

"Mmmph," I groaned, trying to cover my head with the pillow, which was cruelly ripped out of my hands while I stubbornly kept my eyes clenched shut. "Shouldn't the birthday girl get to sleep in? That could be my only present and I'd be happy."

I felt warm hands sliding ghostly soft down my body, followed by wet kisses against my stomach as my shirt was moved.

"You can sleep if you want," he murmured. "I'll just be working on _this_ present." He continued to move lower and lower, sliding my panties down my legs and tossing them aside. I felt his tongue snake up my leg, his hands pressed firmly down on my hips to keep me from bucking wildly as he began biting and sucking on my thighs and lower stomach.

"You awake up there yet?"

I would have tried to say something snarky or pretend to snore or something if he hadn't chosen that exact moment to slide his thumb down to my center, pressing firmly on it and making me moan loudly. His breath was hot, right in front of me, but I couldn't move an inch to bring myself up to his mouth.

"You're either awake, or having a _really _good dream," he chuckled, taking one long lick all the way up before pulling away again.

_Vagina-tease._

"Ed-ward," I half-moaned, half-whined.

"At least you're dreaming about me," he whispered, before attacking me with his tongue and fingers, working me expertly up to the precipice before I fell off, my hand over my mouth in an attempt to muffle my moan. He sat up, looking very proud of himself before disappearing into the bathroom for a minute, returning with his cock straining unashamedly against his pajama pants. I was still a gasping, euphoric mess, shaking my head at him as he crawled back into bed.

"Happy Birthday, Bella."

I laughed breathlessly, still trying to recover. "I liked that present," I panted as I rolled over on top of him, straddling him and taking him by surprise. "But I think I want _more_."

He furrowed his brow, shaking his head. "No, love. We don't have to do anything. That was just supposed to be about you."

"Are you telling the birthday girl 'no?'" I teased, a pout fixed on my face as I ground down on him.

His eyes rolled shut as he grasped my waist, pushing me down on him even harder. "No…_fuck_…I wouldn't dream of it."

I smiled in victory as I reached below me to slide his pants out of the way enough to guide him inside me, leaning heavily with my palms on his chest as I took him in all the way. His chest vibrated beneath my hands as he groaned, our moans mixing together as I began to rock over him slowly, taking my time and enjoying our connection.

"_God_…fuck…I can't get enough of you, Bella…_Yes_," he hissed as I began to speed up my movements over him, finding myself rapidly approaching the edge again. "Take it, love…_Fuck_, you feel amazing." He slid his hands up my body, supporting me as I practically fell over with the force of my orgasm, giving me no time to recover before he flipped me onto my back. He ripped my shirt over my head and took control, pounding into me mercilessly, his kisses hungry and feral.

"_Oh my God_…Edward…Oh my God…I can't," I broke off, unable to speak as I felt myself building up _again_, sure I couldn't come again without completely unraveling. He was hitting me so deep and _right_ there and I was so sensitive, still reeling from the two orgasms I'd already had in the last ten minutes. But he wouldn't listen and if anything, it only seemed to spur him on.

He leaned back on his haunches, lifting my leg to his shoulder as he continued to move in and out of me, reaching even deeper inside of me, our bodies so connected it felt like we were moving as one.

"Every time…every time it's better than the last…_Fuck_, I love you," he panted out between thrusts, his chest gleaming with sweat as the early morning light filtered through into the room. The V in his hips tensed and relaxed as he thrust, his movements growing erratic as I felt myself begin to tighten. Stars exploded in front of my eyes, my entire body shaking with the jolt as I came. I started to cry out his name when he dropped my leg, his mouth on top of mine and swallowing my screams as he groaned gutturally, pumping into me twice more before stiffening and collapsing above me.

"Best…birthday…ever," I gasped out, making him choke out a laugh. Pulling up, he had that cocky grin on his face again and I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "What?"

"What's your favorite number?"

I looked at him like he was crazy, but answered him anyway. "Um…I guess…seven?"

"So…that was what? Three? Four more to go before midnight."

My jaw dropped, wincing as he slipped out of me and pulled his pants back up, laying beside me sideways on the bed. The pillows and blankets looked like a tornado had been through his room. It was awesome.

"You can't be serious. I'd die."

He smirked, turning his face toward me and cupping my cheek gently like I was something precious. "Yeah, but death by orgasm? What a way to go."

I tried to laugh, my lungs not full of enough oxygen to allow it. My hands flew to my chest as I tried to breathe deeply, my fingers running across something at my neck that wasn't there when I went to sleep last night.

"What the hell?" I muttered, sitting up quickly and then balancing briefly as a wave of dizziness hit me. Wrapping myself in a loose sheet from his bed, I walked into his bathroom, squinting as I flicked on the light. As my eyes adjusted, I caught sight of a sparkling diamond pendant nestled into the hollow of my throat and gasped. I couldn't take my eyes off of it as Edward wandered into the bathroom behind me, sliding his arms around my waist.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered, pushing my hair aside to kiss the back of my neck over the clasp.

"Edward," I breathed, locking eyes with him in the mirror. "I…it's beautiful…_thank you._"

He sighed in relief behind me, closing his eyes and nuzzling me. "Thank you for accepting it. There's something else, to open later, but I wanted something just from me to you."

I was confused, but let it go since I knew he'd never tell me. Tracing the delicate figure-eight of the infinity pendant, I smiled at him as he met my eyes in the mirror once more.

"Forever, love," he whispered, turning me around and lifting me onto the counter, pulling the sheet away as he trailed his fingers down my body, kissing me deeply.

.

"How do I look?" Lily asked in a twirl as she danced into my room, forcing me to jump into the bathroom since I was currently topless.

"Eek!" I screeched, almost losing my balance as I landed on my good leg. "Lily, sweetie, you've got to knock. Can you hand me that blue dress on the bed?"

"Oooh," she said through the bathroom door, completely nonplussed. "This one is pretty. Here you go." She pushed it through the crack in the door and I gave her a smile before closing it and slipping on the pretty one-shouldered blue number I had picked out for myself.

_Hopefully, Alice will be so impressed she will not notice the sneaker._

I snorted, not even believing that one for a second myself as I opened the door to see Lily dancing around my room looking like a fairy princess. She had on a pink taffeta dress with flowers around her waist and her tiara from our perfect day placed on top of her curls. As she noticed me standing in the doorway, she continued her twirling until she rammed into my bed, laughing as she landed in a pile of taffeta on the floor.

"How do I look?" she asked adorably, her tiara askew on her head, her curls wild from spinning.

"You look like the perfect Princess of Pink," I smiled.

"And you're the Princess of Blue," she grinned, untangling herself to stand. "Are you gonna wear your princess crown?"

I sighed as I saw she already had it in her hands. "Of course. But how about when we get back from the restaurant? I don't want it to fall into my food."

Her eyes widened as she pulled her own crown off and tossed them both onto the bed. "I didn't think about that. Then it would be yucky."

"Yucky, indeed," I agreed seriously, moving past her to the closet to slip on my gray sneaker.

_At least it matches._

"You know," she began, looking down at my shoe in disdain. "If I was a growned-up, I'd wear high heels everyday."

"Lily, you've seen me walk. It's just not a good idea, trust me."

"I guess," she muttered, taking me by the hand out of my room. "We gotta go. Everybody's waiting to surprise you at the restermont."

"Okay," I laughed, my feet and breath halting when I saw Edward come out of his room.

_I think I'm ready for orgasm number five now._

He looked _devastatingly handsome _in a suit. I completely forgot Lily's presence until she tugged my hand forward, taking me to him. As caught up as I was in looking at him, he seemed to be under the same spell as he drank in my appearance.

"Princess of Blue," he murmured, sharing a knowing smile with Lily who beamed back, nodding happily. I shook my head at him, confused, but he just unleashed that crooked smile, pulling me into his arms for a hug. "You look beautiful as always, Bella." He ran one long finger across the pendant in my throat before releasing me, bending down to scoop up Lily.

"I hope you're hungry, Little Thing," he grinned, bouncing Lily on his hip. "'Cause I hear they've got some _great_ Brussels sprouts where we're going."

"Eww!" Lily and I sang out in unison as we made our way slowly downstairs, the house silent for once as everyone was already waiting…_somewhere_.

We walked hand-in-hand to his Volvo, Lily on his hip and as we climbed inside, I caught his eye. His soft smile said more than any words could have at that moment.

_The three of us._

_A family._

.

We arrived in front of the Geneva Restaurant about twenty minutes later, Edward rushing to my door before the valet could and retrieving Lily so we could walk inside together. As we made our way in, my nerves were replaced with surprise as I was struck with how empty the place looked and turned to Edward in question. Dropping his voice low under the sound of the soft strings playing through the speakers, he murmured as we followed the hostess to a back room.

"Alice wanted to make sure we were all as comfortable as possible on our first outing. Don't question it, baby. Just enjoy it. It's your birthday."

I nodded shyly, acquiescing and trying not to believe Alice had really reserved an entire restaurant just for my birthday, but humbled and honored that she would go to so much trouble for us. Right before we reached a large door that presumably led to a banquet room, Lily wriggled out of Edward's arms.

"Wait! Wait! I'm gonna go in first so I can surprise her, too!"

Edward hid his smile, releasing her and watching her slip into the room ahead of us with the hostess.

"Hey," he whispered, running his thumb over my cheekbone. "Before we go in there and I lose you for the night, I just wanted to tell you once more how beautiful you look. I'm looking forward to spending tonight and every birthday after this with you."

I sniffed and blinked rapidly, not wanting to walk into the room with black streaks running down my face and he smiled sweetly back at me.

"I love you, Bella."

"Forever," I whispered as his lips met mine. Suddenly, the doors burst open, forcing us apart, to reveal an anxious Lily on the other side.

"What's taking so long? Surprise!" she shouted, grinning as I let her lead me inside, Edward holding my other hand as I walked in to see everyone who mattered to me staring back in the softly lit room. There was no scary applause and I briefly wondered how much strength it must have taken Alice to forgo a banner with blinking lights. Then I remembered the living room was still waiting for me at home to open presents and I shelved my admiration of her for the time being.

My mom and Phil, my dad standing next to an attractive older woman I could only assume was Sue, Angie and Ben, all the Cullens…everyone I loved was smiling at me, here together to share this night with me. As Edward predicted, I was stolen away from him almost immediately, though Lily would not relinquish her hold on my hand as I was passed around from person to person for hugs and kisses on the cheek and happy returns of the day.

Sue was lovely and just the type of person to balance my dad out and make him happy, which he seemed to be. Emmett and Alice nearly cracked my ribs with the hugs they gave me, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I was overwhelmed in the best way, almost bursting into simultaneous tears and laughter when I saw the cake. It was shaped liked a pile of giant books, Pride and Prejudice and my first two novels, with child-proof padding around the edge of the table. Carlisle slid beside me, giving me a gentle hug around my shoulders.

"Didn't want to take any chances, dear."

I leaned into him for a moment with a smile before I was dragged away by Lily again toward Angie.

"Are you gonna come play makeovers with us next time?" she asked Angela sternly, who looked at me bewildered.

"Uh, sure, Lily," she agreed, not accustomed to Lily's straight-forwardness. She grinned as Lily smiled and nodded firmly, the matter settled in her little mind.

Waitresses moved in and out of the room with platters of hors d'oeuvres and trays of non-alcoholic champagne which Lily guzzled proudly.

"Just like a growned-up, Bella," she beamed, making me smile and nod in return. When a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, tamping down my momentary panic as Edward's scent invaded my senses.

"How's the birthday girl?"

Turning around in his arms, I slid mine around his neck, beaming. "She's great. This is the be-"

"Shh," he tsked. "The night's not over yet. I can't let you jinx it."

"Oh, right," I nodded seriously, my eyes wide and innocent as I batted my eyelashes.

He leaned in close to my ear, his breath tickling my neck. "Be careful giving me those looks, love. I'll drag you to the bathroom and give you a repeat of number four."

I moaned softly as his hands gripped me possessively tight, losing myself in him until I heard an uncomfortable sounding throat clear behind me. Remembering myself, I opened my eyes to see Edward looking sheepish and turned to see my dad shifting awkwardly on his feet.

"Little eyes in the room," he muttered, gesturing to Lily who was on her fourth glass of 'champagne' for the night, oblivious to our public molestation of each other. He shook his head amusedly before walking past us to the table where they appeared ready to serve dinner. "Big, licensed-to-kill eyes in the room, too."

I giggled as Edward paled, laughing as I dragged him to the table, Lily on one side and Edward on the other. I was grateful for its large, round shape so I wouldn't have to sit at the head or something equally embarrassing like that.

I should have known Emmett would find a way around that, though. Standing and clinking his fork against his glass, Rose snatched it away before he shattered it, scowling at him as he grinned and shrugged.

"While they bring the food out, I thought this would be a good time to see how bad I can make my baby B blush with a toast."

"Here, here!" Angela snickered, earning a glare from me.

"Exactly," he grinned, nodding in her direction. "So pretty much everybody in here knows who I am, so I'm sure you're all expecting me to embarrass Bella with some story about her awful coordination and balance, or about the time I saw her lose a fight with a jar of peanut butter and cuss it out."

Everyone laughed lightly as I tried to sink down lower into my chair, blushing.

"Thought you were alone, didn't cha, B?" he winked. "But that's not what I want to do here tonight. Partly because I've trained her so well that she'd probably kick my a-ow, shit, Rose!"

"Language, Emmett!" she hissed as he rubbed his knee where she must have kicked him.

He cleared his throat, glancing at Lily who was decorating her plate with salt and pepper. He smirked down at Rose once before continuing on.

"As I was saying, I wouldn't want to make her mad since she now knows how to beat me to a bloody pulp if she so chose to, but the main reason is simple. I've hopefully got the rest of my life to make fun of her and beat her in MarioKart, but tonight's the first birthday I've ever had the honor of having with my newest sister. And I want her to look back at this night with nothing but happiness, 'cause everybody in here knows we've all had enough sadness to last us a lifetime. We love you, B."

I blinked back tears, standing and walking over to give him a quick hug before resuming my seat. Edward wrapped his arm around me as I sniffled and everyone clapped briefly until the plates were served and everyone tucked in. I never thought Lily would make it through dinner the way she kept bouncing in her seat and eyeing the cake longingly.

"Can I have my own book for a piece, Bella?" she whispered.

"Lily," I laughed. "If you ate that much cake, you'd get sick. I'm sure we'll be able to take leftovers home and eat cake for days. You'll be sick of cake by the time your birthday comes."

"Nuh-uh," she argued hotly, quieting down when she caught Edward's stern look.

"We never joke about cake," he muttered under his breath, cutting into his steak and shaking his head. I grinned as we finished our meal, Lily silenced for the moment.

When it came time for the cake to be cut, Esme assured me that she had taken plenty of pictures before it was to be divided. No one sang louder than Lily and no one was closer to the cake as she waited impatiently for it to be sliced. She devoured three pieces before Edward cut her off, though I saw Carlisle and Charlie sneaking her bites when Edward wasn't looking. She drank so much 'champagne' that we had to take turns taking her to the bathroom and she was so hyper by the end of the evening that I thought we would have to pry her down from the ceiling to drag her home.

When everyone was ready to head back to the Cullen's, Lily demanded to get to ride with my dad and Sue, because 'she wanted to get to know her new Nana.'

_They need a new word for adorable when it comes to that kid._

I couldn't be happier to see my dad had purchased a rental, since it was mortifying to think of him picking up Sue in the cruiser or letting Lily ride home in the back behind the grate. After some booster seat installation into the back, they pulled away and Edward helped guide me to his car.

We drove in comfortable silence for a moment before he spoke up.

"Did you have fun tonight, Bella?"

Leaning back against the leather of my headrest, I turned toward him with a smile. "Of course I did. Dinner was great. I was shocked Alice was so contained. And she didn't even notice my shoe."

He glanced down at the floorboard and burst out laughing, shaking his head. "I was too distracted with the rest of you to notice it myself, but I wouldn't hold your breath on Alice not figuring it out before the night is over."

"Distracted, eh?" I smirked. "Whatever could have distracted you, Edward?"

He breathed in deeply, glaring at me sideways. "You know damn well how good you look tonight, Bella. And apparently after over five years of no sex, the only thing my brain can compute when I see you in a dress is how easy it would be…" he shook his head, smiling to himself. "Maybe I should just show you."

I inhaled sharply as the tension between us filled the car, making it hard to breathe it was so thick. He didn't say another word as he wound through the streets of Seattle, pulling up in front of a now familiar brownstone and placing the car in park, turning off his lights.

"Edward!" I hissed, not sure why I was whispering. "Everyone is waiting for us at your house. We cannot go in there and fool around right now!"

From the glow of the streetlamp I could see him turn to me with a wicked grin.

"Baby, I didn't say anything about going inside. This won't take long, I promise."

"Edward, what are yo-" I didn't get the chance to finish before he crashed his lips to mine, his hands on either side of my head as he moved his mouth against mine aggressively. Fire erupted across my skin as he slid one of his hands down my body, caressing my necklace on his way down to my chest, where he played with the top of my dress.

Slowly, teasingly, he moved his lips along my jaw and neck, whispering in a commanding voice, "Slide your panties down, Isabella."

I whimpered but obeyed, releasing my fists from his shirt to reach underneath the chiffon of my dress to slide them down to my knees when he stopped my hands.

"That's far enough, love." He crept his hand under my dress, plunging his fingers inside easily, since that dominating tone in his voice was practically connected with my body's response to him. He curled them up immediately, pumping in and out of me, building me up with no warning. His thumb barely grazed my center when I erupted, spasms of pleasure rocking through my entire body.

I had to grasp his shoulders for support as I keened, his gentle kiss on my neck making my eyes roll shut.

"So fucking beautiful," he whispered before slowly pulling back. The look in his eyes was nothing but love and adoration, so much so that it took my breath away.

"I love you," I breathed.

He closed his eyes as I combed my hands through his hair, sighing somewhat resignedly.

"We'd better get back. God knows I don't want to have to explain to the Chief why we're late. Lily's probably chomping at the bit to give you your presents."

Shyly pulling my panties back up, I gave him a sweet smile. "Can I get a hint yet?"

He grinned wickedly as he turned his headlights on and pulled back into traffic. "Miss Sca-"

I clapped a hand over his mouth, glaring playfully. "Just shut up."

.

We somehow beat my dad back to the Cullen's, because apparently putting Lily in his backseat ensured that he would drive ten miles under the speed limit the whole way. Edward and I walked into the living room together, hand-in-hand, to find everyone waiting for us, Charlie, Sue and Lily right behind us.

_This _was where Alice had her fun, clearly. She had filled, or ordered someone else to fill, various sized crystal bowls with different sweet-smelling blossoms in them, electric flickering candles spread throughout the room with soft white lights hung around the ceiling. A stack of silver-wrapped presents was piled in front of the fireplace. The whole room looked elegant in its simplicity and I sent her a thankful look that she returned with an amused smirk as she glanced pointedly down at my shoe.

I shrugged innocently as Lily popped out from behind me, trying to rip me away from Edward to the presents.

"C'mon, Bella! I want you to open mine first!"

"Slow down, Lily. Let Bella sit down," Edward scolded gently, holding me to him as I became the rope in their tug-of-war.

"Come on…come on…come on," she begged, squealing when Emmett picked her up and flipped her upside down. "Put me down! I don't want boys to see my panties!"

Emmett flipped her back onto her feet, letting her run to the fireplace and grab the first box off the pile. Edward and I walked to the couch as everyone found a seat around the room, semi-circled around us. I took the package from her with a smile as she settled down at my feet and started to peel back the paper when she interrupted.

"Can I help you open it?"

"Lily!" Edward spoke firmly. "Stop it. You'll get to open presents when it's your birthday. Settle down, honey."

She was on a sugar high, bouncing on her knees, completely undeterred by his tone. I opened it as quickly as possible, trying to keep Edward from getting irritated with her and her from getting into trouble. I lifted the top of the box to reveal a blue t-shirt. Lifting it up, tears filled my eyes at once as I saw 'Princess of Blue' in iron-on letters, the same kind I had used for Edward's and Lily's shirts. She had obviously decorated it herself with paint and jewels, but it was the prettiest shirt I had ever owned.

"There's more!" she exclaimed, barely contained.

Sifting through the tissue paper, I found a small, pink shirt and a large, green one folded inside as well. I knew what they would say as soon as I saw them and I bit my lip to keep from crying. Scooping her up for a hug, she climbed into my lap, wrapping her little arms around me as I laughed and sniffled. When she pulled back so Alice could hand me her present, I slid her beside me to help me open the next box.

"I give this to you with great reluctance," Alice sighed. "But I had to do something."

I shook my head at her, her smile not matching her tired tone. When I opened the lid, I burst out laughing, finally understanding.

A brand new pair of gray Converse, covered in light blue rhinestones. She even added rhinestones to the shoelaces.

"Alice," I panted between giggles while Lily admired them. "Did you _bedazzle_ sneakers?"

She wrinkled her tiny nose up, shaking her head in disgust. "Bella, please. Those are Swarovski crystals, glued individually by yours truly. _Bedazzle_," she muttered. I kicked off my sneaker and slipped the right one on, twisting my ankle around to show it off to the room.

"It's so _sparkly_," Lily sighed, eyeing it enviously.

Alice and I shared an understanding look and a nod, and I suddenly had a pretty good feeling Lily would be getting her own pair in a couple of weeks. Emmett disappeared from the room for a few moments, but Jasper handed me a small package with a smile. I opened it quickly, beaming at him as I uncovered my new journal.

"Thank you."

He nodded obligingly, smiling back as my dad approached with his gift. I almost dropped it when he placed it in my hands, it was so unexpectedly heavy.

"Geez, Dad! You didn't get me a brick _again_," I joked, making him grin. Lily helped me open this one again, looking confusedly at my dad as she pulled something out of the box.

"Papaw? What are these?" she asked as she lifted up a pair of…_brass_ _knuckles_?

Ripping them out of Lily's hands, I gaped at him. "Charlie! Aren't these illegal?"

He shrugged, placing his arm around Sue's shoulders as she raised her eyebrows at him. "Well,_ I'm_ not gonna arrest you for 'em."

I shook my head, pulling the box out of Lily's lap to find police-issued MACE, a TASER-gun, a Swiss-army knife, and of course, the brass knuckles. My eyes watered in spite of the overkill, as I thought back to how I had assured him how I felt his love and I looked up to see him smiling shyly at me.

"Thank you, Daddy," I whispered, making his face light up and blush at the same time.

"Aw, cool! I thought these were illegal!" Emmett exclaimed as he picked the brass knuckles out of the box with one hand, reappearing behind us with…_Oh my God_.

"Emmett! What am I supposed to do with a punching bag?"

He grinned, waggling his eyebrows at me as he walked around to the front of the couch while Edward shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You punch it, B, I thought we'd been over this." He picked up a box from the fireplace and tossed it to me, Edward catching it right in front of my face with a scowl.

"Could you please refrain from throwing things at my girlfriend, Emmett?"

"She woulda caught it, bro. Chill out," he sneered, turning to me with an excited expression. I had a pretty good idea, but tore open the box quickly, unsurprised to see a pair of bright pink boxing gloves nestled inside. "You like it, right? It's pink, you know, 'cause you're a girl."

"You did _not_ just say tha-" Rose began.

"That is _not_ going anywhere inside our house," Edward interrupted, making every head in the room snap to him. He didn't realize what he'd said apparently, because he looked at everyone bewildered. "What?"

"What do you mean _what_?" Alice shrieked. "What do you mean 'our' house?"

He pulled at his tie as if it were suddenly choking him, opening his mouth to speak, but Lily beat him to it.

"What does that mean? Our house? Why would Bella's punching bag go in our house?" she asked adorably innocent.

Edward swallowed visibly, relaxing when I slipped my hand into his as a show of solidarity. I gave him a small half-smile and squeeze, letting him explain.

He cleared his throat before he gathered his courage. "Well, Lily…you know Bella is Daddy's girlfriend. She's agreed to come and live with Daddy, which means she'll be living in our house with us and bringing her stuff over. Er…how do you feel about that?"

She looked at him, expressionless as she cocked her head. "So she's gonna live with me?"

He nodded.

"Where's she gonna sleep?"

He coughed uncomfortably as everyone tried to smother their laughs around us, though I noticed my mother and Esme already near tears.

"Well, baby, she's going to sleep in Daddy's room with me."

"Ooh, Daddy, you better check with Papaw Charlie 'bout that. He said boys aren't supposed to sleep with girls. He told Felix and Alec-"

"Lily, we probably don't need to repeat that, sweetheart," my dad interrupted, looking sheepish. "And I was talking about _little_ girls and boys. Bella's a grownup. She can…uh, she can _sleep_ in Daddy's room if she wants to."

Edward looked about ready to expire next to me under Charlie's heated gaze, though I knew my dad well enough to see his amusement underneath it. I gave him an exasperated look, begging him with my eyes to let up before Edward passed out. Sue caught it and elbowed him, and I decided right then that I really, _really_ liked her.

My attention was brought back to Lily as she continued to try and wrap her head around this new development.

"So is she gonna stay with me all day?"

Edward looked to me, letting me take over. I smiled at her gently, picking up her hand.

"Some days you will. But you know I write books and sometimes I need quiet to do that. So on days when I need to work, you'll still come over to Nana's, okay? But maybe I'll take you over when you wake up so you don't have to rush in the morning," I scrunched my nose and looked at Edward, since we hadn't exactly discussed that, but it sounded like it made more sense that way.

I was relieved as he beamed at me, pulling me in closely for a hug that I wasn't expecting.

_I didn't realize that would be such a big deal…_

"So when we leave Papaw and Nana's house you're coming with us?" Lily asked quietly, her tone giving nothing away, and I began to worry.

_What if she doesn't want this?_

I nodded slowly, still leaning back against Edward's chest. She nodded back absently before standing up and walking over to Emmett. She held out her hand expectantly.

"I win. Gimme my dollar."

Emmett shook his head disbelievingly, reaching into his wallet and slapping a bill into her hand before looking up and glaring at me. Edward and I were both aghast, not believing what we were seeing.

"Couldn't've just tried your place for a week could you? I thought I had you pegged, B."

"Emmett!" Edward shouted. "You made a bet with my _daughter_ about Bella moving home with us? Are you insane? What if she'd said no? Did you ever think how upset Lily would be?"

"So quick to place the blame on me. It hurts, bro, it really hurts," he sighed, holding a hand to his chest. "Lily, do Uncle Emmie a solid and tell your Daddy about our little bet."

"_Weeeell…_Uncle Emmie was watching baseballs with Uncle Jazzy and they were betting about who was gonna win. So I wanted to win, but I don't like baseballs. And then we saw you an' Bella outside in the back yard and you were kissing and stuff and I told Uncle Emmie that I knew Bella was gonna come home with us 'cause she's always so happy when she's with you an' me. But Uncle Emmie said that Bella would probly want to live at her house for a while first, 'cause he said that girls always think too much and take too long. But I don't know what that means."

"You're a dead man," I heard Rose hiss at Emmett, but Lily continued on.

"So I said that Bella was gonna move home with us and he kept saying no, so Uncle Jazzy said we could bet a dollar. And I won. Oh my gosh, this is gonna be _awesome_!" she squealed as the information finally sunk in, taking a running leap onto Edward and me on the couch. Edward was still glaring over Lily's shoulder at Emmett, but he was too busy being castigated by Rose to care.

_First the pink punching bag and now this…he'll be lucky to get the couch._

Poor Angela, whom I had all but forgotten, rose from her seat next to Ben and grabbed a large, manila envelope from the pile of presents and handed it to me in a desperate attempt to distract Rose from killing Emmett. I took it with a grateful smile, opening it quickly and pulling out a stack of papers. I read over the front page quickly and turned it over, not understanding what I was seeing. Looking up, I saw Angela smiling with her eyes shining.

"Angie?" I gasped.

"It's real, Bella. Summit's all over it. They want to start production next fall," she grinned, tears falling down her cheeks.

A miserable thought came to mind and I frowned. "But…why the sudden interest?"

She shook her head firmly, her face serious. "No. This landed in my office July 16th, Bella. I was going to surprise you for our lunch that week…" she trailed off, her lip trembling.

"Love," Edward murmured from beside me. "What's going on?"

Staring at the paper disbelievingly, I tried to remember how to breathe. "They want to make a movie out of my first book."

He hugged me tightly to him, Lily squished between us.

"A movie?" her voice called out, muffled. "Can I see it?"

Pulling her out from between us, Edward lifted her up in the air, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Lily, we will be in the front row for opening night." Turning to me, he gave me a gentle kiss, mindful of our audience before hugging me again to whisper in my ear. "I am so unbelievably happy for you and proud of you, Bella. Congratulations, love."

He released me and Angela and Ben walked over to embrace briefly, my emotions threatening to push me over the edge soon. I went from having hardly any friends or family to thinking I would never see another birthday to…_all this._

"Oh my goodness!" Renee cried. "How is anybody supposed to follow that? Sweetie, I am so happy for you." Everyone walked over and offered their congratulations, but I was rooted to Edward's side. As if he could sense my overwhelmed state, to help keep me calm, he wrapped his arm around me, his hand firmly planted on my waist, anchoring me. My mother approached with her own box, handing it to me with a whisper.

"This is only part of it, sweetie. I left the other thing on your bed. Didn't want Lily asking questions," she winked, stepping back to watch me open her package. Rose piped up from behind her, not relinquishing her pincer grasp on Emmett's ear.

"Mine's upstairs, too, Bella. You can have Edward thank me later," she winked.

I blushed just thinking of it and opened my mother's with only slight trepidation, hoping that all the embarrassing stuff would be upstairs out of sight, ready to be donated to Goodwill the first chance I got.

_But…no._

It started off innocently enough. A prism to ward off bad energy. Probably the third one she'd given me in the last year. Aura Reading For Beginners. Expected. Palm Reading For Beginners. A preview into her next obsession. Ecstasy Through Tantra, _Illustrated Edition._

_God fucking save me._

I threw everything back into the box before Lily could inspect it, ignoring her tired protests as she began to lose steam. I reached desperately for Esme and Carlisle's gift which she placed firmly in my hands, stroking my cheek before she stepped back.

"I hope you can see what we see. Happy Birthday, Bella."

I smiled back at her, unsure of the meaning of her words, but eager to find out. Pulling back the wrapping quickly, my hand flew to my mouth. A beautiful picture of Edward, Lily and I was set in the front of an album, for now only appearing to be about half-full. I knew better than to try and look at them then, knowing full well I'd start blubbering and embarrass myself completely if I did.

Looking at her through my tears, I was barely able to mouth out a 'thank you,' to which she nodded and smiled kindly. I glanced at Edward, who seemed entranced by the cover portrait of us. I waited for him to meet my eyes and he tightened his hold on my waist infinitesimally, enough to show me he felt the same thing too, seeing the three of us together like that.

Finally, we had reached the last box, obviously Edward's. The necklace and five orgasms would have been more than enough, really, but if it made him happy to spoil me, than who was I to stop him? Right before I started to rip at the paper, his hands flew to mine.

"Okay, so the thing is…now that you're moving in with us, this might seem kind of pointless, since I've already got one of each, but I just want you to know that when I decided to do this, I hadn't asked you yet so it really _was _supposed to be just for you…" he trailed off, pleading me with his eyes to understand.

Looking around the room, I shook my head at the lot of them. "What is it with this family and cryptic pre-opening-present-speeches?" Turning back to him, I stroked his cheek gently. "Whatever it is, I'll love it, Edward. I don't know how you'll top a hot pink punching bag or a book on Tantra, but I'll love it, I know I will."

He nodded hesitantly, removing his hand from the box so I could open it. As soon as the lid was lifted, one glance at the two books inside and I knew I had no chance to make it through this evening without crying.

_Lily's Baby Book_

_For Bella_

_My First Year_

_For Bella_

He had recreated both of those things just for me. I ghosted my fingertips on the cover of her baby album, rubbing her round cheeks softly, marveling at the gray eyes she had that were now replaced with Edward's bright green. Her face had the same roundness, but she was so _tiny_. So pale. So _bald_.

Tears sprang out of my eyes as I laughed at her sweet little face, glancing down at her now snoring form beside me, trying to recognize the similarities and changes.

"Hey…hey…what's wrong? Why are you crying, love?" Edward asked worriedly, tucking me in closer to his side.

"Because…because…she's so…_perfect_," I whimpered out, my hands clutching my chest to try and keep my sobs in. So many emotions were hitting me all at once. I was heartbroken that I had missed this time in her life, terrified how she was only getting bigger every day, grateful I had the chance to know her now and so, _so _overwhelmed at the sweetness of the man sitting next to me.

My dad's voice rang out into the room, soft but firm. "I think that's enough excitement for one night. The little one's already passed out. We should probably all follow her example. It's getting late and I think she's got the right idea."

Placing the albums quickly back into the box, I stood up to try and calm down long enough to thank everyone.

"He's right, it's late, and I'm about to be a sobbing mess for who-knows-how-long, but before you all go…Alice, Rose…Thank you for going to all this trouble to give me the _best_ birthday of my life. _Everything_ was perfect, I mean that…Jasper, thank you so much…Emmett, I love you too much to let Rose make you sleep outside. You can use my apartment if you need to…Angie, Ben, thank you for being here, and…Oh my God! We're going to make a movie!" I laughed, slapping my tears away as she beamed back, letting her own run down her face as she clutched Ben tightly.

"Carlisle, Esme…" I met her gaze, watching her as she trembled in Carlisle's arms. "I see it. Thank you. For everything…Sue, it was so nice to meet you and I hope you're around for a long time…Phil, Mom, Dad…" I shrugged my shoulders, at a loss as to how to explain I never thought I'd see them again, how the thought of them helped me fight, how much it meant for us to all be here _together,_ a lifetime first. I felt Edward stand up from the couch, supporting me from behind. Leaning against him, I whispered to them, "I love you."

I crossed my arms around myself, clinging to Edward's hands desperately tight as everyone walked by me to kiss my cheek or awkwardly hug my shoulders goodbye, none of them questioning my inability to release myself from Edward's hold. Renee scooped Lily off the couch and carried her upstairs as my dad whispered and told me he'd be back in the morning after he took Sue home. Everyone disappeared from the room until it was just Edward and I, standing under the soft lights, wrapping paper and the most heartfelt presents I'd ever received surrounding us.

I sank against him as he sat us back down on the couch, kicking off his shoes to lie lengthways down, pulling me alongside him, my back against his chest. He hummed an unfamiliar tune softly behind me as he stroked my hair, letting me breathe and gather myself in my own time.

After a bit, I relaxed, my mind finally slowing down from the activity of the day, as I melted against him.

"Big day, huh?" he murmured.

"So big, but in the best way," I whispered, turning around in his arms to face him. "Edward, everything about it was perfect. I think I might even officially like birthdays now…Thank you _so much_ for what you did for me today. I don't just mean the presents or…the other stuff. Just you being here with me today and tonight, reading my every emotion, supporting me whenever I needed it but couldn't even express it, for sharing your life with me, for _loving_ me…"

"You're thanking me for loving you?" he asked, laughing incredulously. "As if I had a choice, Bella Swan. You have owned me since the day I met you. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You own _me_ just the same way," I breathed. "Completely."

He slid out from beside me, hovering over me, a feverish look in his eye.

"Say it again."

Inhaling sharply, my tiredness and crying forgotten, I stared at him unblinkingly.

"You _own_ me, Edward. I'm yours. And you're _mine_. Forever."

He moaned into my mouth as he kissed me deeply, our tongues and teeth clashing in our urgency. As he moved to my neck, he hissed as he ground his hardness against me.

"_Fuck_, hearing you say those words….Are you tired, baby? If you are, tell me now, or I won't be able to stop," he groaned.

"_No_," I moaned. "I want you. Always. Now. Please."

I felt him growl against my skin as he tangled with his belt and zipper, me still pinned beneath him. He pushed my dress up and I felt him as he rested against my thigh while he pushed my panties aside and slid his fingers home.

"I'm ready," I pled, not caring for foreplay. I just wanted _him_. "Now. Please."

"Mmm," he hummed. "As tempting as that is, love, I still owe you two. And as fucking hot as you look writhing beneath me, I'll be lucky to last long enough to give you one once I'm inside you."

I whimpered, bucking my hips up shamelessly to find his hardness while he continued to work me with his fingers.

_In and out. Curl up, slide down. Twisting, pumping, rubbing, stroking…_

"Come, Isabella."

"Aaaah!" I cried, latching my mouth onto his neck to muffle my cry, realizing too late we were in the middle of his parent's living room with the door wide open. The next second he had slammed into me, causing me to erupt again as aftershocks pulsed through me.

It was all becoming too much again, so much sensation, so much feeling. I grasped his head in my hands to slow him, capturing his gaze in my own.

"Edward," I whispered.

The fire in his eyes smoldered, his eyes once again recognizing my need without the need for me to voice it. Keeping eye contact, he pushed slowly yet steadily in and out of me as we breathed each other's shaky exhales.

"I love you," he rasped, his eyes almost pained.

"I know," I assured him softly. "I've always known."

He closed his eyes and pushed harder into me, our urgency and passion replaced with slow enjoyment and building heat. What accumulated in me was different than before, a deep clenching that began from somewhere in the pit of my stomach until it grew to the point I feared my body would explode with its force.

"Bella, love…please…I can't last anymore. I'm gonna come. Please, baby," he groaned, his thrusts growing quicker, more urgent. My body was so overworked, so unraveled, I didn't know if I could before he lost himself, but I knew he had a goal and…who was I to keep him from it?

Reaching my hand down between us, his lustful groan as he realized my destination doing more to me than any touch could.

"Oh…my God…_Edward_!" I cried, my voice muffled in his shoulder as he froze, his hips making shallow pumps in me as his body jerked, his orgasm overtaking him.

The clock from the hallway chimed, making him lift his head up in a lazy, cocky grin, that for once was fully deserved.

"Seven."

.

**A/N: Links for Bella's necklace, dress, Lily's dress, Edward's suit, and Bella's cake are on my profile.**

**FGB Update:**

**Monamour is heading up Team Isakassees and I'm honored that so many of you have already joined up!**

**If you ever wondered how Lily felt during the escape in the woods, your bid could make this happen.**

**If you ever wanted to know what Charlie said to those little boys on the playground, I happen to know.**

**The betting conversation between Emmett, Jasper and Lily? I'll tell you, it's very funny.  
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**Ever wonder what really happened between James, Victoria and Abby? It might not be what you think...**

**These are just a few ideas for some one-shots that will be up for auction.**

**You can contact her on Twilighted or through her email at thendisjusthebeginning at gmail dot com.  
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	33. Chapter 33 Happy Birthday Lily

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Hello, everybody! Thank you for being so understanding in my ability to not reply to the reviews you guys gifted me with during my vacation. Hopefully I caught up on all the ones from Chapter 32, I had a bit of computer trouble, but I think we're all good now. I'm not sure who's out there recc'ing the story, but there's been a major influx of readers this last week, so welcome! And thank you to the recc'ers.**

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Chapter 33: Happy Birthday, Lily

EPOV

(September 24th)

_Damn, that looks good._

I stood back for a moment and admired my handiwork after removing five years of meaningless knick-knacks to make room for Bella's many, _many _books on my shelves.

_Our shelves._

I was never going to tire of saying that. It felt so good to be sharing my space with her. It was just right, like a void I didn't realize was there had been filled now. With her ridiculous amount of books and silly romantic movies and her borderline obsessive-compulsive organizational skills regarding kitchen appliances, she had turned my house into a _home_.

We had both been running ninety-to-nothing since Saturday, packing, moving, cleaning, covering…anything to distract either of us from what was coming today.

_Is it really necessary for me to go to a grocery store? Don't they have delivery services?_

We were meeting Siobhan and Jasper at a small grocer nearby that had agreed to delay opening for a couple of hours so that we could enter and wander the aisles at our own pace.

_I can handle flower shops and jewelry stores. Is this really necessary?_

The doorbell rang and my heart began pounding against my ribcage as I rushed to answer it. Lily came barreling down the stairs yelling, "Nanaaaa!"

I opened the door quickly, greeting my mom with a fake smile. "Hey, Mom."

She gave me an understanding and genuine smile in return, walking forward and hugging me. "It'll be okay, sweetheart. You'll see. You're so much stronger than you realize."

I hugged her back tightly, feeling like a little boy again, just like when I had called her crying all those weeks ago when I first lost Lily. She rocked me back and forth until Lily's impatient huff sounded behind us, forcing us apart.

"Are you ready, Nana? I wanna go on the monkey bars, and then the jungle gym, and then I want you to push me on the swings…" She hugged my leg briefly before pulling my mother out the door, chattering away about the playground.

The silence remaining in her absence gave my nerves too much space to grow, so I rushed upstairs two steps at a time to follow the sound of Bella's unpacking in our room.

When I reached the bedroom, I skidded to a stop in the doorway to watch the scene before me. Bella had her headphones in her ears, swaying her hips to music as she arranged her clothes in the closet. She looked like a wet dream with her little denim miniskirt and one of my t-shirts tied with a knot at her waist.

We hadn't been together since her birthday, having been too caught up in moving and our upcoming grocery trip. And all I wanted was to crawl inside her body until both of us forgot what we were supposed to be doing today.

I was a mess of nerves and tension and want as I watched her, unable to keep from groaning loudly as I watched her bend over to arrange her shoes next to mine, giving me a perfect view of her ass. When she turned around, she jumped, blushing instantly as she realized I had been watching her.

"Oh my gosh, Edward! How long have you been there?" she asked, tossing her music aside. Her face fell as she read the stress on mine. "It's time, isn't it?"

"Nearly," I choked out, everything in me dying to flip that skirt up and bury myself inside her.

She began worrying her hands, fluttering about in the closet, rearranging the clothes I had _just _seen her hang, as if that would somehow calm her nerves. As afraid as I was that I would rip her clothes off of her body if I touched her, I couldn't just stand there, watching her hands shake as she pulled the same shirt off a hanger only to replace it in the same spot for the third time in five seconds.

I walked swiftly over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she had done for me when I saw Lily go into her room for the first time a few days earlier. I supported her as best I could as she sank against me and it didn't hit me until I was wrapped around her that she could probably feel how hard I was, thanks to my incessant need for her and her little dance in the closet.

"Edward," she whispered, turning her face to mine and capturing my lips in a scorching kiss that wasn't sweet or gentle. It was fierce, almost painful and I didn't even realize I had walked us forward against the shoe shelves until she stopped suddenly.

"_Jesus_, Bella," I groaned. "I need you. So fucking badly."

"Please," she whimpered, bending over slightly, her ass rubbing against me as she braced herself against the shelves.

She moaned as I ran my hands up her back, loving the softness that had slowly returned to her as she regained her health. Growing impatient with me, she reached behind and began tugging at my jeans, frustrated when she couldn't unfasten the buttons of my fly blindly. I hissed as she ran her hand roughly over my cock once before lifting her skirt to reveal herself to me, completely bare.

"_Fuck_. I hope you weren't planning on leaving the house like that, baby. Nobody gets to see that except for _me_," I snarled, ripping my fly open and pulling myself out of boxers, stroking myself slowly, the tip of my head teasing her folds.

"Easy access," she gasped. "I've been wanting to lose myself in you for days."

"_Goddamnit_…I hope you're ready, love. I can't…" I lost my voice as I pushed into her easily, her slick heat enveloping me. I tried to start out slow, but my sweet girl wasn't in the mood.

"Edward…_please_…I need you…to _fuck_ me," she moaned, arching her back and pushing against me impatiently.

My fists clenched in her shirt as her dirty words made me completely lose touch with reality and I began moving in and out of her forcefully, our moans amplified in the small space around us. I braced my arm against the shelf as I pulled her back against me, fucking her deep and hard, the strawberry scent of her hair and the aroma of our sex all I could smell. Her heat wrapped around me, her softness pushing against me all I could feel.

The coil building in me was dangerously close to snapping, but I couldn't let go until I heard her scream for me first. Slowly bringing our intertwined hands down from her chest together, I smiled triumphantly against her neck as she cried out when I pushed our fingers against her center. I felt her body begin to stiffen against mine, finally allowing me to let myself release.

I came so hard there were spots in my vision. I was barely able to keep us upright as I emptied myself inside her.

"God…_fuck…_" I panted, wrapping my arms around her as I slowly recovered, pulling her tightly against my chest and dropping kisses on her shoulder and neck.

Her breaths were still choppy as she dropped her head back against my shoulder, still moaning every time I twitched inside of her. "That was so intense," she whispered.

I kissed her neck once more before pulling out of her, fixing my jeans and pulling down her skirt before turning her around in my arms. Holding her face in my hands, I couldn't even think of anything to say that would ever do justice to what she was to me, what she meant to me.

"I love you, Bella."

.

After we cleaned up and dressed for the day, we found ourselves standing just outside the doors of the little grocer down the street, a closet compared to the Whole Foods where our fuckery had occurred in. She was trembling next to me and glaring at the doors like they were the mouth of hell.

"This feels like a bad idea. It's too soon…I love take-out, you know…Or I could get a personal assistant. All those people in Hollywood do it. I'm about to have a movie…Don't some grocery stores have delivery services?" she rambled aloud, but I didn't get the sense she was necessarily expecting an answer.

_I don't have one to give you anyway, Beautiful. I happen to agree._

"Bella, this is an important part of recovery," Siobhan explained from behind us, making my poor sweet girl jump almost a mile. She looked dangerously close to hyperventilating, her already pale skin fading to ashen, her watery brown eyes making her look like a skittish deer. Siobhan approached slowly, holding her hands out to not frighten her. "James is not in that store, Bella. He cannot hurt you ever again."

At the mention of James, I wanted to muzzle Siobhan, because Bella's trembling became full-on shaking. Her eyes started to take on that faraway glassy look and I jumped into action. Like hell was I going to stand there and watch her fall apart while I was frozen like an idiot. I'd been so wrapped up in how scared _I_ was about today I hadn't even talked to her about how _she_ was feeling regarding all of this.

_No, you just fucked her like an animal instead. Well done, Cullen. Best-boyfriend-of-the-year award goes to…_

I pulled her into my arms, rocking her gently as I hummed her song in her ear, the song that frightened away her nightmares of_ him _and all he had done to her. Losing Lily like I had was something no parent should ever have to live through and it killed me to go back into such a similar place where it had all began, but my Bella…I still didn't think I knew the full extent of the horror she endured while she was gone. I might never, which was probably for the best considering my temper and the fact I'd probably look like an insane person beating the shit out of a cheap grave.

I could feel the exact second she came back to me, the subtlest of changes in her tension, the way she molded to me ever so slightly.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I whispered. "I should have talked to you about this. I shouldn't have-"

"Don't," she rasped, her lips trembling against my neck as she kissed me softly there. "I wanted it. I needed it. Please…I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to _feel_."

_Jesus fucking Christ this woman was made for me._

"Okay, okay," I murmured, running my hands up and down her back. "Tell me what you want, love. I can't watch you hurt like this. Do you want to leave? I'll get you an assistant, we'll eat pizza for the rest of our lives, baby, I don't care. I don't know what to do here. This is killing me, Bella."

"No," she sniffled, pulling herself up straighter, shaking her head. "We can do this. I can do this. I just need you with me."

I cradled her face lovingly in my hands, trying to get a read on her eyes. If I thought for one second that she wanted to leave, it wouldn't take much to convince me. But all I was met with was my girl's fierce determination and bravery. She kept shaking her head, slowly calming under my hold.

"We're stronger than this," she whispered. "You and I…what we are…we're so much more than this…_Oh my God, _Edward…I _hate_ that this is what brought us together, but…I'm sorry. I just needed a minute…I'm okay," she said as she pulled away slowly and tugged at my hand though I remained immobile.

"I don't think I am, Beautiful," I rasped, darting my eyes between her and the door painfully. "I don't think I'm ready. This…this is where…"

"I know," she breathed. "But you would never let anything happen to me, Edward. I know that. Lily's not here. She's safe with Esme. It's just you and me and we're fine…Show me what could have been if he hadn't come," she begged softly.

I melted in front of her, a million different scenarios playing in front of my mind as I took myself back to that day, imagining what I had wanted to do but never had the chance to make happen. Kissing her deeply, not caring that Siobhan was right next to us, that the grocer was waiting inside, that Jasper was probably watching our every move, I moved my mouth against hers fiercely, stealing her air and drowning in her scent and taste.

When we finally pulled apart, I could see Siobhan and Jasper waiting for us by the doors. I breathed deeply, squeezing Bella's hand in mine tightly as we walked tentatively forward to the entryway. Siobhan and Jasper entered first, probably trying to show us it wasn't a vortex into a black hole or some such bullshit. But it wasn't until Bella and I had stepped inside that I realized that I could really do this. Crazy men weren't jumping out from the corners. The world wasn't crumbling beneath my feet.

It was just a grocery store.

Giving Bella a small smile, I pulled her toward the produce section, walking straight to an aisle of apples. We reached for the largest one on top at the same time and we picked it up, both of us holding onto a side of it.

I grinned slyly at her. "I'm sorry, Miss, but I believe I had that apple first."

Her lips twitched, but she kept a straight face, shaking her head seriously. "Oh, no. I definitely touched it first. I'm sorry, sir, but I really want that apple."

Gesturing around us, I tried to reason with her. "But there are so many others."

"Exactly," she nodded. "So be a gentleman and let me have this one, and you can have any other one you'd like."

Sighing regretfully, I shook my head. "I can't. My daughter will be devastated if I don't bring her home _this_ apple."

At the mention of Lily, her eyes lit up. "You have a daughter?"

Smirking, I nodded. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face much longer. She frowned thoughtfully, then _very_ obviously tilted her head down to look at my ring finger. When she waggled her eyebrows at me and nodded her head approvingly, something she must have learned from Emmett, I lost it. I doubled over in laughter, tossing the apple back onto the display, causing several to fall down.

"Oh, shit!" Bella shrieked through her laughter, trying to stop the second apple avalanche of our lifetimes to occur. Our hands were fumbling all over each other's as we tried to keep the apples from landing on the floor. I was laughing so hard I was crying, both of us close to hysterics. Once we had secured the apples, I looked up to see Siobhan smiling proudly while Jasper stood with his arms crossed, an amused look on his face.

"If I weren't so happy I didn't need to sedate either of you right now, I'd tell you that the two of you are almost nauseating together."

I shrugged, wrapping my arm around my girl. "Now you know how I feel every time I see you kiss my sister." Turning to Bella, I pulled her with me to the end of the aisle and picked up a hand basket.

She smiled up at me gently, wrapping her arm around my waist. "You never got to make psghettis that night."

I swallowed thickly, nodding. "You in the mood for Italian tonight?"

She tugged on my shirt, her signal for me to lean down so she could reach me. Kissing me softly, she whispered against my lips, "Let's get stuff for her cake, too."

I closed my eyes, kissing her forehead once before standing up straight again, nodding to Siobhan and Jasper. "We'll see you guys in a bit."

.

I felt like I had just climbed Everest as I walked hand in hand with Bella to the car, holding our shopping bags in my other hand. On a certain level, I got it. I understood that I had just bought twenty-seven dollars worth of groceries, something a gazillion people did every day, but it was so much more than that. My face hurt I was grinning so hard and Bella looked really proud of herself, too.

We pulled into my parent's driveway, both of us eager to collect Lily and take her home.

_Our home. _

_Jesus, I'm turning into a sap._

As we walked in, we followed the smells of my mom's cooking into the kitchen, where she and Lily were hard at work creating something for lunch.

"Hey, baby girl!" I greeted her brightly, still grinning like an idiot.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed, hopping off of her stool and rushing over to me to hug my legs. I scooped her up, holding her to me tightly, trying not to cry.

_Seriously, I need to get my hormone levels checked. I might need a boost of testosterone if this shit keeps up._

Bella wandered over to my mom to help her finish up with lunch silently, giving Lily and I a moment. Lily pulled back after a minute, studying me in her serious way.

"Daddy? Whatsa big deal? Did you run your errands?"

"I did, princess," I nodded, swallowing my emotion. "We can go home whenever you want. We still have a little bit of unpacking to do. I want to get it finished today so we don't have to worry about it tomorrow."

Her eyes widened in excitement. "Do you know what tomorrow is, Daddy?"

I shook my head, frowning and pretending to think. "Um…Wednesday?"

"No, Daddy! Ugh, I mean, yeah, tomorrow's Wednesday, but do you know what else it is?"

I shrugged, walking over to Bella. "I don't know. Bella, do you know what tomorrow is besides Wednesday?"

She bit her lip, tapping her finger against her chin in thought. "Um…oh, I know! It's September twenty-fifth!"

Lily groaned. "Do you know what _else_ it is?"

Bella and I looked at each other in confusion. "Um…it can't be Christmas, can it? Oh, no. That's _December_ twenty-fifth," Bella nodded firmly.

Lily squirmed out of my arms, crossing her arms and glaring at both of us. "It is most deftly _not_ Christmas," she huffed.

"Could it be…" I trailed off, bending over and grinning at her. "Could it be the best day of my life? The day my princess was born five years ago? The day she's going to be a whole hand?"

Lily beamed, throwing her arms around my neck. "I knew you wouldn't forget, Daddy. That was _not_ funny." She released me and moved to Bella, raising her arms to be picked up. Even though Bella's ribs had completely healed, I still felt concern as she scooped Lily up, not wanting her to strain herself. She was still so _tiny_ to me, her porcelain skin creating an illusion of fragility, when I already had an innate need to protect her from any and all harm in the world.

Luckily, I knew better than to open my condescending, primeval, chauvinistic mouth. Bella's words, not mine.

_Fighting equals make-up sex, Cullen._

_Maybe later._

.

"_Cold psghetti, cold psghetti,_" Bella and Lily sang as they danced around the spaghetti and homemade sauce and meatballs they had been working on while I caught up on a bit of medical reading in my study. I'd finished and was standing in the doorway, watching them play together, marveling at how happy Lily looked while Bella hovered lovingly over her.

"Taste test!" Bella exclaimed, holding up a long noodle dangling from a fork.

Lily opened her mouth wide, letting Bella drop the noodle slowly in while I smothered my laugh in my hand. Lily chewed thoughtfully, nodding her head.

"It's a dentist. We're good to go."

I thought for sure Bella wouldn't know what she meant, but she nodded back seriously. "Excellent. It's hard to get it just right, but you always do."

"You get to have some this time, Bella," Lily whispered, so quietly I almost missed it. My heart fell into my stomach as I watched Bella's smile falter, never ready for the subtle reminders Lily dropped here and there in her innocence. "I wish I coulda-"

Bella sank down to her knees in front of Lily, a soft smile on her face as she silenced Lily with a finger on her lips.

"Lily…I _love _the way you say psghetti," she whispered. "That wasn't why I didn't eat, sweetie. There was nothing either of us could have done. It was all _him_. Do you believe me? Do you understand?"

Lily nodded, throwing her arms around Bella's neck and hugging her tightly. I couldn't think of a good segue to enter in without intruding, so I staggered back into the living room silently, collapsing into the nearest chair. I was reeling from what I'd just heard, even though it wasn't unbelievable or even surprising to hear it.

_But that…that was my favorite word. And he made her feel stupid for saying it and punished Bella for it…_

_I want him to die all over again._

I felt unstable as I rocked myself in the chair, ripping at my hair just to be able to feel something.

"She could have come back completely different," I murmured to myself. "Completely different. He tried to…Was she afraid I would? Is that why she was so desperate for Bella? Did she even trust me?" I asked myself in anguish, my heart feeling like it was being ripped out of my chest.

"She always trusted you," Bella said softly as she balanced on the arm of my chair beside me, her hands immediately stilling mine in my hair, pulling them out gently. She set them in my lap as she began to rub my shoulders and neck, scratching my head the way that made me want to purr. "We talked about that almost every night. How her real daddy would _never_ do what _he_ did.

"She wanted me because she was worried about me, because she's a caring little girl and we became very close very fast."

"Where is she?" I asked hoarsely, reaching up and pulling her arms around my neck, tugging her so she would fit next to me in the seat. Her touch always grounded me.

"Washing her face and hands for dinner," she murmured, resting her head on my shoulder. "I didn't know her before, so I don't know how different she is now, but knowing how much you love her, I can't imagine that even if she did you would have loved her any less."

"No, of course not," I agreed immediately, pulling her legs over mine to hold her closer to my body. "He really…he really punished you for when she couldn't say things right?"

"Edward," she laughed humorlessly. "You heard the statement. He punished me for _everything_. I meant what I told her. We could have been perfect angels and he still would have done what he did. She wasn't saying things _wrong_, she's four. Or five. Whatever, you know what I mean. I hated having to automatically correct her, but I never knew when he was going to snap. I never knew how close he was to…I never knew when she would be next."

"I don't know why this is killing me," I admitted. "I guess…I guess I just felt like we passed this huge hurdle today, but when she brings up these little memories it just reminds me that it's not like a book we can close the chapter on or something that's ever going to be wrapped up in a shiny bow or whatever."

"Hey," she protested softly, turning my face toward her and smoothing the anxious crease between my eyebrows. "You're right, it's not, but don't let what she said take away from what we accomplished today. That's her way of healing, Edward. She can't keep it bottled up and we can't expect her to _only_ release it when she's at Siobhan's. If it's messing with you, talk to me, but she's about to come back down here and if she's sees you upset and thinks it's her fault…"

"I know, I know. _Fuck!_" I groaned. "How are you keeping it together? Doesn't it mess with you to hear her say shit like that?"

"Of course it does," she shrugged. "It physically hurts me to have to be reminded what she witnessed, Edward. But if hearing about it is what it takes to get her healed, so she can grow up and learn piano and take ballet lessons and get grounded for sneaking out to parties-"

"Wait, what? She's not going to parties," I interrupted, to which Bella smirked and quirked her eyebrow.

"I _said_ she'd get grounded," she smiled. "We'll catch her, don't worry…If hearing about it _now_ is what heals her, then I'll find a way past it. I'll talk to you, Siobhan, Jasper, whoever I need to, to get it out. And I'll never forgive him for what he did to us-"

"I'm all done!" Lily exclaimed, pounding down the stairs. She skidded to a halt when she saw me, concern washing over her face. "Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Lily," Bella spoke softly. "Will you go and sit down in the kitchen, please? I need two more minutes to talk to Daddy."

She nodded slowly, shuffling past us, pausing to kiss me. Bella spoke hurriedly as soon as she rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"Look, we'll have to talk more later, but you've got to understand, Edward. He did enough damage when he was alive. I can't let his ghost keep me from living now."

"Has it been two minutes?" Lily shouted impatiently from the kitchen.

Bella started to stand, but I pulled her back, holding her face to look her in the eye. "Thank you, love. I'm not…I'm not used to having someone to talk to about this, or anything, really."

She kissed me gently, her eyes not letting me look away. "We're both a little out of practice, Edward. But s'okay. _All you need is love_," she winked.

"Cheese, Swan," I groaned, my lips turning up against my will. "Pure cheese."

She shrugged, using me as a boost to stand. "Gotcha to smile."

We ambled into the kitchen together, where Lily was waiting impatiently for us.

"Grownups talk too much," she grumbled. "I'm hungry."

"Sit down, love. You two cooked; I'll serve it up," I offered, pulling out Bella's chair for her. She smiled gratefully as she sat, engaging Lily in a thumb war while I gathered bowls and forks. As I poured generous helpings for the three of us, it struck me like lightning why I was so upset by Lily's comment earlier.

How many times did I worry about Lily having enough to eat, when it was Bella who had nearly starved to death? How many days did it take me to even start worrying about her and what she might be enduring? That motherfucker put a gun in her mouth and the only thought in my head had been 'please don't let my daughter see this.'

Horrified with myself, I numbly set the bowls on the table, eating and entering conversation with my girls on autopilot. I had no idea what we talked about or how the food tasted. Bella and I washed the dishes side-by-side and I could feel her worried eyes on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I didn't deserve to have her concern when I had barely spared any for her myself.

_And after she hears what a cold, heartless bastard I am, then what?_

The thought of her hating me or leaving us was too much to handle, so I shut down long enough to get Lily cleaned up and put to bed. Lily wanted Bella to tuck her in, so I escaped to our room to try and get a grip on myself. I knew any minute she was going to appear and demand to know what the hell my problem was.

_Shit. What if she thinks I'm mad at her?_

I didn't have much time to collect my thoughts before the bedroom door opened, Bella looking around the dark room concernedly until she spotted my hunched form on the bed. She came over quickly and sat down beside me, handing me a large glass of what smelled like beer. Sort of.

"What's this?" I rasped.

"The Chief Swan FUBAR special. His secret recipe is a beer with two shots of whiskey. Don't tell him I told you," she said softly, a faint smile on her lips that didn't reach her eyes.

I snorted in spite of myself, swallowing half of it down quickly. "That…that tastes like more than just two shots," I coughed, pounding my chest to ease the burn.

"Well, that's _his_ recipe. Mine's more like four. It's the Bella Swan WWWEC special," she said as she bit the side of her lip, her blush showing in the moonlight.

"What's the Bella Swan WW…Okay, this is actually _really_ strong, love," I laughed, loosening up slightly.

She grinned, taking the glass and setting it on the nightstand. "The What's-Wrong-With-Edward-Cullen special. The military's been after me for years because it's sort of a truth serum, but I just can't afford for such a powerful weapon to fall into the wrong hands."

I sighed, her attempt at cheering me up only making me feel guiltier.

"Edward?" she asked, her voice small and unsure.

"I don't know how to explain it," I shook my head sadly. "At least not in a way where you won't hate me and think I'm a horrible human being after."

"Tell me what happened at dinner. We talked and you seemed okay, and then all of a sudden you were like the walking dead. You haven't even looked me in the eye since then. Did I do or say something wro-"

"No!" I interrupted, pushing off of the bed to pace a hole in the bedroom floor. "You didn't do anything and at the same time, you did everything! I mean, you protected her from the beginning, her mind, her body, you almost fucking died to keep her safe and what did I do? I was here, worrying about her, barely even thinking about you! I used to wonder if Lily had food to eat, when _you_ were the one starving! But did I ever actually worry about that? No!

"It never even crossed my mind until we found out his criminal history. And even then, even though I was worried about you and wished I could protect you, I couldn't bring myself to wish it on Lily instead."

"Edward, of course you couldn't," she tried to soothe, but she _wasn't getting it._

"Bella, do you not understand what I'm saying to you?" I argued condescendingly, causing her eyes to narrow. "When he first walked into that store and shot that gun, my only thought was saving _her_. But he took you both, and he starved you and he be-"

"I know damn well what he did, Edward. I was there," she snapped. She stood up and walked toward me, looking fierce and magnificent in her anger. "And yes, I do understand _exactly_ what you are saying. You're saying that you were worried about your daughter more than you were worried about a complete and total stranger while we were away. You're saying that even when you did start to worry about my safety, you couldn't wish Lily to be harmed.

"Fucking duh, Edward. She's a _child_. I would have died before I let him lay a finger on her…Why are you doing this? Why are you picking a fight with me, _yelling_ at me for something neither one of us can change? Isn't it enough-" her voice broke as angry tears spilled out of her eyes.

"Isn't it enough that you care _now_?" she cried. "It is for _me_."

I swallowed hard, trying to think of a good enough answer for her.

_What was wrong with me? Why wasn't it enough that I cared now? If it was for her, if she was happy, if I made her happy…What the fuck was I doing?_

_You're making her cry, jackass. Fix it._

"Bella…" I pled, wrapping my arms around her, the tightness in my chest not loosening until she returned my gesture. "I'm sorry, love. I'm so sorry. I…it's just so hard to think about it now. It was hard then, but I didn't even realize I loved you when I heard most of it…Bella, the idea of you being in _any_ amount of pain _kills_ me. I start picturing it and I can't stop and I'm such an asshole for throwing what he did to you in your face like that and bringing it up."

"Will you _please_ stop calling yourself names?" she begged. "And can we get into bed? My…my leg is kind of tired."

I scooped her up immediately, sitting her on the edge of the bed and grabbing one of my shirts out of the top drawer for her. Pulling her sweater dress up, I slipped the t-shirt over her head, letting her do her weird bra trick while I stripped down to my boxers. I pulled the covers back but she slid up the bed to sit against the headboard, clearly not finished talking this out.

I let her lead, because my filter was seriously wiped between my nerves and that lethal concoction she'd made for me. She settled into bed awkwardly, glaring at her cast like she wanted to burn it. I began rubbing her thigh in hopes that she would look at me.

"Only a week and a half more, baby."

"I miss jeans _so much…_and what little coordination I had," she lamented, glaring once more at her leg before finally raising her eyes to meet mine. She looked tired and sad, concerned and loving. Her voice was soft, but serious. "She's your _daughter_, Edward. I'd think you were horrible if you _didn't_ wish for her to be spared from harm at all costs. And I feel the same way about you, if anyone were to hurt you somehow, I…I can't even think about anything happening to you. To either of you.

"I'm not going to tell you that what you're feeling is _wrong_, because I can't tell you how to feel…But Edward, _I _don't believe you have anything to feel guilty for. You couldn't stop him taking us, you couldn't have done anymore than you did to find us. You can't change or take back what he did to us while we were there. _I_ don't blame you. For any of it. I get the feeling you want to hear me forgive you, but there's nothing to forgive.

"But how you shut down tonight? That's not okay. Lily thought you were mad at her and she didn't know what she did wrong. And after I convinced her that you weren't mad at _her_, she then wanted to know if you were mad at _me_ and if I was going to move away. I told her everything was fine and you were just tired, but the whole time, I had no clue what was going on with you, or whether or not I was lying…" she trailed off, her lip trembling.

"I don't want you to _ever _doubt us. Bella…you're my rock. I couldn't imagine my life without you. You're right, with Lily I don't have the luxury of having a breakdown every time I get overloaded. I promise, next time I'll talk to you, even if it's just to say I need to be alone."

She nodded in agreement, her eyes still slightly pained. "It's just…when you say stuff like that? Like you think I'll think you're a horrible person or hate you or something…it makes me wonder if you don't understand how much I care about you, that maybe you don't really believe me when I tell you that I love you, _every _part of you, and I don't know what I could be doing wrong for you to not understand that I _mean_ it. I mean…do you really have so little faith in how I feel about you? What we have?"

"No _fucking_ way," I said immediately, lifting her bodily and laying her on her side to face me as I did the same. "Bella, you're not doing _anything_ wrong. I do believe it, I swear to you. I'm so sorry about tonight. I just…_shit…_it's not that I don't have faith in us or you…it's more like even though things aren't _perfect_ for us, you know, they're really fucking hard, this…this is the happiest I can ever remember being in my entire life. I guess the thought of losing it makes me so terrified that I push it to the extreme."

The dark cloud over her face slowly lightened as she slid over closer to me, her body flush against mine.

"But when you let that fear take over, you don't even realize it, but you push _me_ away. Please don't push me away. Please," she whispered, leaning in to kiss me gently, slowly.

"Never again, love," I sighed, rolling her onto her back so I could cover her body with my own. "I need you too much to let you get too far away from me."

I slid my hands down, slowly lifting her shirt over her head to toss it aside and kicking off my boxers. Her eyes drifted shut as I began dragging my lips down every inch of her body, my kisses an apology over every scar she had suffered, both inside and out. I covered her in kisses, murmuring my love and apologies into her skin, the last touch of my lips over her heart, in thanks for its strength before I pushed into her slowly.

I thrust in and out of her gently, just wanting the connection with her, the feeling of _home_. She moved with me as one, her lips feather-soft on my skin as we slowly climbed up together, losing ourselves to waves of pleasure. The electricity between our bodies, the feelings pulsating through me to my core, it was all so intense in a completely different way than before. We kissed and kissed for minutes or hours until I pulled out and opened my eyes to see her gazing up at me, smiling and biting her lip.

"What is it?" I asked, amused.

"We just christened your bed," she said shyly.

"Our bed," I corrected. "And don't forget the closet."

"Oh, I could never forget the closet," she grinned wickedly.

"You'd better not forget any of it," I warned playfully, attacking her sides with my fingers. She squirmed and giggled, pushing at me to no avail.

"Stop, Edward!"

"That's not what you were saying five minutes ago," I joked, laughing as she glared at me, the smile on her face completely taking away any chance for intimidation. She gave up, going limp beneath me so I stopped, pushing her hair out of her face.

She smiled up at me, running the palms of her hands up and down my arms. "I love you, Edward. Every part, even the parts that make me want to smack you sometimes."

"I'm not the one who alphabetizes their spices, Beautiful."

"It makes them easier to find!" she insisted hotly, narrowing her eyes at me when she caught my smirk. She huffed and rolled onto her side, turning her back on me. "I'm done talking to you. Good night."

Laughing, I laid down behind her, holding her tightly to my chest. "Good night, love."

.

(September 25th)

"Edward! Stop it! Those are for her!" Bella slapped my hand away as I tried to steal one of her 'Forks-famous banana pancakes.' I couldn't help it. They smelled _really_ good.

"Bella, you're making a dozen. She can't eat a whole dozen," I reasoned, not taking my eyes off the prize, waiting for an opening.

She rolled her eyes, flipping them expertly off the griddle onto the plate. After she turned off the heat, she walked over to the bananas on the counter to chop up more for the topping, leaving the pancakes unattended.

_Foolish move, Swan._

"Don't even think about it, Edward," she warned, not even turning around as my hand hovered over the plate.

Begging wasn't working, so I switched tactics. I was not above seducing my girl for pancakes. Walking up behind her, I slid my arms around her waist, _accidentally_ grazing my thumbs under her breasts, smirking into her hair as I heard her breath catch.

"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work. You can wait until she wakes up," she argued, even as she melted into me, her chopping halted on the countertop.

"But Lily got to have a taste test last night…Shouldn't I try at least one?" I murmured, going in for the kill with my tongue behind her ear.

"Daddy? What are you doing?"

I would have jumped back if I hadn't created somewhat of a problem for myself in my attempt to steal pancakes, so I simply turned, using Bella as a shield.

"Just helping Bella make breakfast, sweetie. Happy Birthday," I coughed, my voice cracking as I felt the tips of my ears go red. Bella was shaking in silent laughter, not helping matters as her body rubbed against my dick. I grabbed her waist to keep her still, leaning down to hiss in her ear. "Will you _please_ stop moving? I can't hug my daughter with a raging hard-on."

She turned in my arms to smile sweetly. Whispering back, she had a wicked glint in her eye. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you started playing games in the kitchen. But if you _really_ need help…Emmett in a leopard-print Speedo running a marathon. In all his sweaty, hairy glory."

I shuddered, deflating quickly. She grinned at me before returning to her task at the counter as I walked over to Lily, swinging her up in the air and spinning her around.

"Oh!" I groaned. "She's so big! I don't know if I can carry her anymore! I'm gonna drop her! Aaah!" I yelled as I tossed her up in the air, catching her as she shrieked and giggled.

"I'm five! I'm five!" she laughed, her whole face alight. "Bella, look! I got bigger!"

Bella turned to her, beaming. "_So_ big. You look big enough to eat five whole banana pancakes."

Lily squirmed out of my hold, running over to the counter and scaling up to sit beside the platter. "Fork-famous pancakes?" she asked excitedly. "I thought those were for perfect day?"

Bella shot me a quick, worried look, but I shook my head minutely, smiling softly back at her. Walking over, I placed an arm around her waist and my other around Lily's shoulders.

"I suppose that means Bella's just going to have to make them again," I grinned. "And I think it's 'Forks,' not 'Fork-famous,' baby girl."

"Whatever," she sniffed, leaning over the plate. "They smell _good,_ Bella. I'm hungry. Are they ready?"

"Almost," Bella smiled. "Do you want them plain or with the topping?"

"What is it?" Lily asked suspiciously, dipping her finger into the bowl and licking. "Ooh! I want that! It's like dessert!"

"I know, right?" Bella grinned. "It's bananas, cinnamon, and syrup. I've got powdered sugar, too, if you think you can handle it."

"I _love_ sugar. I want that, too," Lily smiled, jumping off the counter and landing ungracefully on the floor. She scuttled over to the table and took her seat, waiting to be served. I followed her example, laughing with her as we tucked our napkins into our shirts and held our forks upright. Bella shook her head amusedly at us as she doled out the pancakes, unable to keep the smile off of her face. I watched them together for a moment before digging in, an abnormally sunny day shining in through the kitchen windows as they giggled together in their pajamas, Bella cutting Lily's pancakes into bites.

_I get this. Forever._

_I am one lucky son-of-a-bitch._

.

I spent the day trying to recover from the sugar coma induced by Bella's pancakes, playing every board game in the house, making castles out of blocks, and officiating the marriage ceremonies of Lily's various stuffed animals, all of which were suddenly named Edwin and Stella, except for Snuffles.

_Subtlety, thy name is Lily Cullen._

Bella and I needed a nap more than Lily, but we made it through the day somehow, until it was time for the cake-baking.

"So Lily," Bella began. "Have you ever had Confetti Cake?"

Lily shook her head, her eyes already bright with excitement.

Bella beamed down at her as she made quick work of her ingredients, admittedly easy to find with her organizing system.

"It's cake with the sprinkles baked inside. Do you want pink frosting with sprinkles or something else?"

Lily looked all around the kitchen as she tried to decide. "Can I have a castle cake? Like in the kingdom of colors?"

I grimaced, sorry to have to tell her no on her birthday, but Bella simply nodded happily before rummaging around in the cabinets for various objects that I didn't have the first clue what to do with.

"Bella?" I wondered aloud.

She turned around, smiling sweetly at me with weird plastic cylinders in her hands. "Yeah?"

"How?"

Her eyes were bright and happy as she set everything down onto the counter, continuing to set up the various ingredients for the cake. "They aren't edible, but you ice them to make it _look_ like a castle. If I knew ahead of time, I could have tried to do something with some fondant or something, but this will look alright, I think."

At my bewildered look, her smile turned into a smirk. "Alright, Edward. I'll try to talk 'boy.' We put the shapes together and form a castle. Then the girls make it look pretty with icing and sparkles. Got it?"

I squinted at her, trying to frown but failing miserably. "You're asking for an egg on the head, Swan."

She quirked an eyebrow up in challenge. "Do your worst, Cullen."

I smiled, easing off for now, waiting to attack when she least expected it. Lily was watching us, a confused and exasperated look on her face.

"Every time you guys talk, you look like you're gonna get kissy, even when you're trying to win, Daddy."

Bella doubled over laughing, leaving herself completely open for my attack. The nearest thing in my reach was the flour, so I dumped a cup on top of her back, laughing myself when she flipped back over, the flour flying up into the air everywhere.

"Cheap shot, Edward. But the night is still young. Lily, remember what I said earlier."

I looked to Lily immediately, who had Bella's mischievous little smirk all over her face. She tried to shrug her shoulders innocently, but it was a classic Bella move. I came up behind Bella as she mixed things in a bowl, whispering softly in her ear. "She looks and acts so much like you."

She didn't stop mixing in her bowl, simply turned her head into my shoulder slightly. Her remark was snarky, but her tone was shy. "Perfection is catching."

And then Lily stuck an egg in my pants and crushed it.

The night went downhill from there. Or uphill, if I was being honest with myself.

More eggs were smashed on bodies than in the actual bowl. Flour and sugar covered every inch of the kitchen. I would be finding pink sparkly sprinkles in my hair for days. Bella's first attempt at a second layer became a casualty of war when we missed the timer because of the impromptu game of hide-and-seek game played in the kitchen as Lily 'hid' from us under the table.

Somehow by the end of the night, we had a white, purple, and pink castle cake. Lily was adding the final touches of blue, green, and pink jellybeans when I came up behind Bella, curling my arms around her shoulders and chest.

"That's the best homemade cake she's ever had, love."

She turned her head slightly, smirking. "Just _homemade_, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, tightening my arms around her. "Alice."

Her eyes went to a faraway place as she watched Lily decorate her tower with care. She raised her hands to rub my forearms. "This was…I never thought…"

I squeezed her tightly to me, breathing in deeply to collect myself.

"I know."

.

(September 28th)

"Ooh, Daddy! Look at that one! It's on top of the little one!" Lily marveled, while I tried to think of a delicate way to distract her from the ladybugs mating.

"Bounce house is ready!" Emmett yelled, saving me without knowing it. Even if I still didn't know what I was going to do after the party with the inflatable castle he got for Lily.

_Maybe I can send it home with him. That's probably what he's hoping for anyway…_

"Yay!" Lily cheered, running for the castle. I narrowed my eyes in on Felix and Alec already jumping inside.

_They'd better keep their hands where I can see them…_

"Will you stop shooting lasers at those little boys, please?" Bella asked as she elbowed me. "You're going to make them cry, and I won't help you explain it to their parents."

"I don't see why my mom had to invite them here. It's completely inappropriate to have boys at a party," I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"She invited them so Lily would have some kids her own age here, and you know it, Edward," Bella sighed, exasperated. "Think back to when you were six. Did you think girls were anything except full of cooties?"

"I avoided girls like the plague until I turned thirteen and discovered hair gel," I admitted, earning a raised eyebrow from Bella. I smirked, shrugging. "That was when the ladies started flocking."

"_Oh my God_," she groaned, rolling her eyes and turning toward Lily as she called for us.

"Daddy! Bella! Come bounce with me!"

Bella bit her lip, considering it, but over my dead body was she going to chance reinjuring her leg.

"Don't even think about it, Bella. It's a walking cast, not a jumping cast," I said before she could even open her mouth.

"I know," she sighed. "I'll go see if Carlisle needs any help putting together the scooter. I'm surprised your mom doesn't just tie a pillow around her with all the pads she's going to make her wear."

"She strapped one around Emmett when he got his first skateboard," I admitted, totally serious. "And she made him wear his football helmet, too."

She laughed her way over to my dad, watching as he and Charlie struggled to attach all the screws in place, the instructions still in the plastic package beside them.

_I might let Mom tie a pillow around Lily after all._

I climbed inside the castle, happy to see the boys were not paying much attention to Lily as she threw herself all around.

"Look, Daddy! My shoes sparkle when I jump! It's like shooting stars!"

"Lily, I don't think you're supposed to wear shoes in here," I tried to reason, while at the same time telling myself if she popped it, I wouldn't have to worry about a place to put it. I let myself land with as much force as possible, keeping that in mind.

"Yeah! She stepped on my fingers before!" Felix tattled.

_Wimp. He's totally not good enough for my daughter._

"S'not my fault, Daddy! He put his hand under my foot!" Lily protested, sticking her tongue out at Felix.

"Alright, that's enough. Lily, if you want to keep jumping, you have to take your shoes off. That's the rules," I spoke sternly.

"Fine," she huffed. "I wanna take a break anyway. I wanna drink."

I followed her out, surprised to see Charlie and my dad watching idly by as Bella and Rose had all but assembled the entire scooter in less than five minutes and were now attaching the streamers to the handles.

"You guys work fast," I marveled, trying not to laugh as Charlie and Carlisle scowled.

"We coulda gotten it," Charlie muttered as my dad shrugged.

"Well, it's good to let them feel useful," he sighed.

"What did you just say, Carlisle?" my mom asked from behind my dad, making him jump. She stood there, her eyebrow cocked, her arms full of wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, gloves, a helmet…

_She must have lost the duct tape for the pillow._

"Can I ride my scooter now?" Lily asked excitedly, her drink forgotten.

"Actually, first you should call Nana Renee and thank her for sending you your art stuff," I said.

"Uh…here," Charlie mumbled, pulling an awkwardly wrapped oval out of his pocket into my hands. "That's from me, I forgot it in the cruiser earlier."

Lily's face lit up as she tore through the wrapping paper, revealing some kind of…_walkie talkie_? I looked confusedly at him and he shrugged bashfully.

"It's a Firefly. It's a phone for kids and it's got everybody's numbers in it already, I programmed it when I got it. It's got GPS location on it, too…" he trailed off, swallowing visibly.

I breathed in and out shakily, not wanting to embarrass him by hugging the hell out of him in front of the whole family.

_Screw it_.

I embraced him around the shoulders, taking him by surprise. He patted my back in that manly way, until Emmett burst forth, crushing us both.

"Group hug!" he yelled right into my eardrums, making me wince. I felt little hands around my legs and I glanced over Charlie's shoulder to see Bella watching us, smiling brightly with watery eyes.

'I love you,' she mouthed.

I pried myself out of Emmett's grip to reach down and pick up Lily, who was grinning brightly.

"Thanks, Papaw. I'm so growned up to get a phone of my very own. Can you show me how to call Nana?"

He smiled at me once more before pulling her from my arms after he shook off Emmett, walking away with her to the table of drinks and snacks. I strode over to Bella, sitting beside her as everyone slowly dispersed.

Sliding my hand into hers, I leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Hey, love. Are you having a good time?"

She nodded, her smile honest and sincere.

"Tell me that I didn't see a book called Edwina over on the gift table earlier…"

She grinned wickedly. "It's _actually_ titled Edwina, The Dinosaur That Didn't Know She Was Extinct. And I can do _all _the voices."

Half-laughing, half-groaning, I pulled her over to sit between my legs, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

"Good party, huh?"

She hummed happily, leaning back into me.

"The best."

.

**A/N: FGB Update. The ticker is winding down for letting Monamour know if you are interested in joining Team Isakassees. You've got plenty of time to figure out the outtakes you want to see, you've just got to let her know you want in and fill out the appropriate form. She's on FF and Twilighted and her email is thendisjusthebeginning at gmail dot com.**

**I'm willing to write pretty much anything, you've just got to make your request known. **

**Cast of Eclipse on Jimmy Kimmel this Wednesday!**

**Next chapter will fast forward about a month...we're nearing the end, guys. :-(**


	34. Chapter 34 Happy Halloween

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. © 2009-2010 Isakassees**

**A/N: Before I forget, Bellamarie117 works faster and harder and sweeter than anyone else on the planet to beta these monsters for you all, making them intelligible. And she does all that ON TOP of writing her own fic, Take the Ice. So I had to make sure I remembered to thank her for once.**

**To brother: Shower scene, nyet. Ending scene of the chapter, nyet. For the love of God. Nyet, nyet, Soviet!**

Chapter 34: Happy Halloween

BPOV

(October 30th)

I heard the front door slam and Lily come thundering through the house. Confused, I glanced up at the clock and was surprised to see it was almost six.

_Crap!_

I jumped up from the desk chair and rushed downstairs, my socks almost making me slip on the bottom steps. I found myself tangled in Edward's arms, looking up into his amused, yet slightly concerned face.

"You miss the cast that much, Bella?"

"No," I scowled, straightening myself and blushing as he looked me over appreciatively. It had been a writing day, the kind where I was still wearing my thigh-high socks and pajama shorts, and the way he was currently eyeing my legs made me want to skip candy-shopping and go straight to bed. With him.

_And remember to lock the door this time._

"Busy day?" he smirked.

"As a matter of fact, it was," I huffed, pushing off of him and leaning over to hug Lily hello before turning to head back upstairs. "I'll be dressed in five minutes."

"I kind of like what you have on already," he called out after me.

Turning around on the steps, I smiled innocently at him, twirling my hair around my finger as I began to descend again. "I'm sure the checkout boys wouldn't mind it, either."

His eyes darkened instantly as he circled his finger around, motioning me upstairs to change.

"I win!" I shouted as I ran down the hall.

.

"So you've got your phone?" Edward asked Lily once more before he turned off the engine in the parking lot.

She nodded solemnly, pointing to her pocket. I held up my purse dutifully, where two cans of pepper spray and my TASER gun were tucked inside, along with my phone and an extra set of car keys to Edward's precious car. He smiled, appeased, and got out while I waited patiently for him to open the car door. Some of the many things I'd learned about him in the last month were: he opens all doors, pulls out all chairs, and would rather freeze than let me go without a jacket.

_Edward, the Edwardian gentleman._

I snickered at my lame joke and gratefully took his hand out of the car, waiting for him to pull Lily from the car. It was an unspoken rule that for now, she remained in either his or my arms the entire time we were in the store. This time she wanted to be held by me, so I carried her inside, her face tucked into my neck. Edward stayed glued to my side, his hand rigid on the small of my back as we made our way to the candy aisle.

Lily loosened up around my neck when she realized where we were, looking around excitedly at the various bags. Remaining in my arms, she began pointing out all her favorites for Edward to toss in his hand basket. We cut her off at five, shuffling back to the front of the store to check out. We both breathed in relief once we were out of the store, the slightly claustrophobic feeling I always got when we were inside with so many people lightening the closer to the car we got. Once we were all buckled safely inside, Edward reached over before starting the car. He squeezed my hand tightly, giving me an understanding smile.

"Love you."

I leaned across the center console to kiss him quickly. "Love you, too."

"Eww!" came Lily's disgusted squeal from the backseat.

.

(October 31)

"_Bella_!" Lily whined. "Can we just go for a little bit and then Daddy can come when he gets home? Please?"

_Count to ten. Count to ten. Deep breaths, Bella._

"Lily, for the _last_ time, we cannot go trick-or-treating without Daddy," I said exasperatedly. "He'll be home from work soon and _then_ we will go. _Please_ stop asking."

"Can I call him to see if he's close?" she pouted. "I'm gonna miss all the good candy."

"'Cause that's _just_ what you need," I muttered under my breath, grabbing my phone off the kitchen counter. "I'll call, okay? Why don't you go…check your crown? It looks a little crooked."

"Oh!" she gasped, running out of the kitchen and up the stairs, her seashells sprinkling glitter as she shimmied up the stairs in her mermaid tail.

I dialed him quickly, bouncing my foot irritably on the ground.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I chanted.

"_Bella, baby, I'm sorry, I know I'm late. I'm almost done here; we had like eleventy thousand kids come in with food poisoning from Halloween parties today. I'm currently wearing my fourth pair of scrubs for the day. I'm on my last case now and then I'm out of here."_

"Edward, she is driving me crazy. Can you give me a time?"

"_I just need five mo-_"

He was interrupted suddenly by a female voice. A female porno-sounding voice.

"_There you are, Edward. Are you coming to the Halloween party tonight? I left an invite in your locker the other day, but I never heard back."_

_God, give me strength to not strangle this bitch through the phone. Thank you, Bella. _

"_Nurse Mallory, I have asked you repeatedly to call me Dr. Cullen. No, I am not going to the Halloween party. I am taking my daughter trick-or-treating with my girlfriend, whom I am speaking to right now. You're interrupting_. _Excuse me…Bella? Are you still there?"_

"Yeah," I sighed. "So five minutes? Because she's begging me to take her _now_."

"_I…Bella, I just can't. I'll wreck on the way home worrying about it. I'm sorry-"_

"No, I know, Edward. I already told her that we had to wait for you. It's just, she's been dressed since after dinner and she's-"

"Is that Daddy? Is he almost here? Can we go? I wanna go. My crown is perfect. Does he have his costume on yet?" Lily bounced back into the kitchen, her pumpkin-bucket in hand.

"_I get it, I hear her…I literally only need to sign my name on like two more forms and then I'm out of here. Hopefully there's no traffic, I should be there in less than fifteen, okay? I'm sorry she's driving you nuts, love…Tell her she needs to stop asking or she's not going to get to go at all, alright? Daddy says. I love you, Bella."_

Like always, those three little words melted me, a balm on my irritation. "I love you, too."

"_See you soon, love."_

"'Bye."

Hanging up the phone, I faced Lily. "Alright, Ariel. Daddy will be here in fifteen minutes. He will change into his costume that is ready and waiting on the bed. Then we'll go around the block and come home to pass out candy to everybody else."

"Why can't we give candy now?" she whined. "We don't even have the light on."

"I know we don't, Lily," I gritted out. _I need a break_. _Or a drink_. "If we turn the light on now, they'll knock and Daddy doesn't want us passing it out until he's home. He said you need to stop asking or you're not going to get to go at all, alright? Please try and be patient. Do you want to play a game while we wait?"

She crossed her arms, rolling her eyes at me. "I'm gonna go play _by myself_." She stomped out of the kitchen to her room, leaving me rubbing my forehead to keep my growing headache at bay. I sat down uncomfortably in one of the kitchen chairs to wait for Edward, my long yellow skirt rustling all around me.

_How the hell did Belle have dinner with the Beast in this ridiculously huge dress?_

Some days, she was a perfect little angel. Some days, I wished for earplugs. Today had been one of those days. She woke up wanting to wear her costume all day, but I couldn't risk her messing it up before trick-or-treating. She wouldn't take a nap. She wanted Halloween candy for dinner. She'd been asking since lunch when Edward would be home.

Add on top of that the fact that Edward hadn't been able to answer his phone all day because he was so busy at work, which meant we couldn't go visit him for lunch, not that I could have taken her up to the hospital when she was acting out so much. My first instinct was to try and soothe her out of her bad mood, but Edward had explained to me that if I bent over backwards every time she acted bratty, she'd do it more and more just for attention.

So here I sat in the kitchen, trying to decide if having a glass of wine, even though I wasn't supposed to mix alcohol with my anti-depressant, was worth risking Edward's wrath.

_Probably not. One fight per Cullen per day._

I drummed my fingers against the tabletop, trying to think of something to do while I waited for Edward to get here when something slammed upstairs in Lily's room, loudly. Rolling my eyes at myself for being a sucker, I stood and climbed up the stairs, knocking lightly on her door.

"Lily? Can I come in?"

I heard a muffled grunt from inside that I couldn't decipher, so I opened the door and came in anyway, hearing movements coming from her closet. Walking in, my irritation returned tenfold to find her packing up a suitcase. Her newest thing since Edward's return to work, which was all of a week and a half ago, was to threaten to move back to Esme and Carlisle's when she didn't get her way. She'd been warned repeatedly not to do this, but she was in rare form today.

"Lily? What do you think you're doing?"

She wouldn't even look at me, but I saw her nervous glance as she registered my sharp tone. She knew I'd never hurt her, but I didn't often raise my voice toward her. When I did, I meant business.

She recovered quickly, continuing to pack. As she placed her fairy wings inside her bag, she mumbled, "I'm moving away."

"No, you're _not_," I argued sternly. "Unpack that suitcase _right now_."

"No! I wanna move back to Nana and Papaw's. Daddy won't even miss me. All he does is work."

"Lily, that is ridiculous," I sighed, sitting down in the closet. "I know Daddy works a lot, but being a doctor is an important job. Today he helped a lot of sick little kids get better and you know he loves you. He would be devastated if you moved away."

She stopped packing momentarily, looking at me confused. "What's deb-a-stated mean?"

"It means he'd be so sad, he would cry everyday if you moved away. Because he loves you more than anything in the world, even when you yell and throw a fit over having to wait fifteen minutes to go trick-or-treating." I shook my head, standing up and straightening out my dress. "I'm going to go downstairs and wait for him to come home and change into his costume. If you're done having your tantrum by the time he's ready, we'll go trick-or-treating. If you're not, then you're free to stay up here and miss Halloween. But you're not moving anywhere. So unpack that suitcase right now. I mean it."

I walked out of the closet and her room, running straight into Edward. He looked concerned and a little bit tired as he braced my arms.

"Packing again?" he asked worriedly.

I nodded, exhausted.

He rolled his eyes, irritated, kissing my forehead briefly. I didn't want to eavesdrop, so I moved to walk past him when I heard him call my name out behind me. Turning, I cocked my head at him.

"You look beautiful," he said softly before ducking inside Lily's room.

I wandered into our room, smiling at his prince costume laid out on the bed. Carefully gathering my giant skirt and all its petticoats, I laid down, just wanting to rest for a minute. If it actually came down to grounding her from trick-or-treating, the tantrum would be epic.

_Should've had that glass of wine._

The first couple of times she had been difficult with me, it had brought me to tears, making me think I must be doing something awfully wrong, that I was obviously just not cut out for this. It had taken not only Edward, but Siobhan and a talk with Esme to help me understand that this was what all kids did.

Siobhan had explained that after spending such an extended period with her grandparents, who admittedly spoiled her rotten, it was an understandable reaction. Edward had spent many late nights with me telling me stories about her terrible twos, and threes, and most of her fours. Esme had held my hand while I cried my eyes out, telling me how the first few times she had to discipline her babies, she too cried, until she learned that it helped them to actually be better, that they _needed _it, for security.

It didn't mean that days like today didn't still wear me out, though.

"Bella?" Lily's timid voice called out from the doorway. I sat up quickly, grimacing as the tight corset of my dress dug into my side. Edward appeared from behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders. "Can I come in?"

I nodded, motioning for her to come sit next to me, scooting over carefully so as not to mess up Edward's costume. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, as she walked over, her eyes downcast on the floor. She stopped in front of me, worrying her hands.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"For?" Edward prompted.

She looked up at him, then darted her tear-filled eyes to me. "For asking all day to go trick-treating, and for being ugly to you downstairs and for packing my suitcase." Her lip began trembling as she kept apologizing. "I don't really want to move to Nana's."

"Okay," I nodded.

"Please don't be mad at me," she sniffled. "I love you."

"Lily," I sighed. "I will _always_ love you, but that doesn't mean that I have to like when you act like that. You were really rude to me today, and it really hurts my feelings when you talk about moving away."

"I'm sorry," she cried, throwing her arms around my neck. I rocked her for a moment, letting her get it out, until Edward cleared his throat.

"Alright. Lily, I want for you to wait in your room, on your bed, until I change into my costume. Understand?"

She nodded into my shoulder, pulling away and walking quickly out of our room. Edward waited to see her enter her own before closing the door, turning toward me with an understanding smile.

"You gonna make it?"

I groaned, shaking my head and falling back onto the bed. "Edward, days like today make me wish we had a padded soundproof room. For her or for me, I'm not sure."

He crossed the room swiftly, shoving his costume aside to lie beside me. "A soundproof room, huh? We could make good use of that."

I laughed in spite of my weariness, playfully smacking his shoulder. "You are such a perv."

"Card-carrying," he grinned. He stroked my face, his eyes growing serious. "I'm sorry today was so tough on you, love."

"S'not your fault," I mumbled, rolling into his side, ignoring the hospital smell on his scrubs.

"Mmm," he sighed. "I don't wanna go. Let's just sleep. We'll just give her the candy we bought yesterday."

"Edward," I giggled, shoving him unsuccessfully. "A year is a long time to have to hear about how she had to miss Halloween. Up. Now."

"Fine," he grumbled. "I'm going, I'm going."

About fifteen minutes later, I was being kissed awake by Edward.

"Huh. I guess you really _are _a princess," he said with his crooked grin in place. "Arise, fair maiden. It is time."

.

About an hour later, we _finally_ made it back home. What had begun as one trip up and down the block turned into more like three blocks, on both sides of the street.

"This is the best Halloween ever!" Lily declared.

Edward fumbled with his keys in the dark, muttering under his breath. "That's what she says every year. We could have just given her the candy."

I elbowed him, laughing as I picked up Lily. "Oof! You have so much candy you're too heavy to carry! I'm gonna have to eat it all! Gobble, gobble, gobble!" I chomped playfully at her hair as she giggled and squirmed in my arms.

"Dadd-ee! Bella's eating me!" she laughed.

He pushed the door open and flicked on the lights, turning around to us with a grin. "Oh, good! Save some for me, Bella!"

"Dadd-ee!" she squealed, writhing out of my arms and running into the living room. "Can we just put the candy outside? I wanna play instead."

He shrugged, looking to me. I murmured quickly, "It's only going to take two greedy eight-year olds to clean it out, but sure, I don't care."

He chuckled and nodded, running to the kitchen to find a bowl to dump the candy into. While he set it outside the front door, Lily started fiddling with knobs on the stereo.

"You should dance," she announced as the intro to _Beauty and the Beast _began playing through the speakers. Edward appeared from behind me as Lily settled herself into a chair, watching us dreamily, chin in hand, as he began to twirl me.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. "I just got out of a cast; I'm not in a rush to go back in."

He ignored me as he started to sing along, waltzing me about the living room, a cheesy grin on his face. I kept tripping awkwardly over his feet, turning around jerkily. I glared at him as he tried to hide his amusement, but I could see the laughter bubbling up inside him.

"Here, love. I have an idea." He gripped my hips and lifted me until my feet were resting on his, continuing to turn us around and around the room.

I rolled my eyes, unable to keep from smiling. "I feel like a little kid. I think we should just accept defeat. I can't dance."

"You're dancing right now. You just needed the right partner," he winked, picking me up at the waist and spinning me around in the air. Lily clapped joyfully, squealing as the next song began.

"_Little Mermaid_! Dance with me, Daddy! Dance with me!"

He kissed me quickly, sliding me off of his feet and bowing deeply. I curtsied back and stepped aside for Lily to cut in, falling back onto the couch to watch him spin her and twirl her around the room. It never ceased to amaze me that no matter how many hours he'd been working at the hospital or how exhausted he was, he always found the energy to make her smile like the way she was now, at least once a day. Even on the nights when I had to take his socks off in his sleep after he collapsed into bed.

When _Under the Sea_ came through the speakers, Lily squirmed out of Edward's hold and ran over to me, yanking me up from the chair.

"Let's all dance, Bella!"

"Yes, ma'am," I saluted. We danced about the room, looking like crazy people I was sure, a combination of the Twist, Disco, Jitterbug, and Macarena all mixed together. When Edward attempted the Running Man, I burst out laughing, tripping over Lily until we were a heaping mess of giggles on the floor. Looking up at her, I cocked my head and grinned. "Well, hello again Little Thing. We've got to stop meeting like this."

She snorted, her giggles out of control. "I'm a giggle monster! And a Little Thing and a chef and a princess and a baby and a big girl and a mermaid! I'm so many things, Bella."

I nodded, fixing her crown atop her head. "I know. And I love every single one." She beamed at me as I looked up at Edward, who was watching us with a faraway look in his eye. Quirking my eyebrow at him in question, he shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts. He smiled, helping us both up.

"Alright. It's after nine. It is officially past bedtime for all giggle monsters, little things, chefs, princesses, babies, and big girls."

"And mermaids!" Lily added brightly. "Do I hafta go to bed?"

"You do," he nodded. "So one more piece of candy, then brush your teeth, then bed, okay?"

"Can I have _five_ pieces, since I'm five?" she asked hopefully. When he shook his head, she pursed her lips, accepting defeat. "All-_right_."

He looked at his watch again, tapping it thoughtfully. "I wonder…do you think you can do all of that in fifteen minutes?"

I raised my eyebrows, shaking my head. "Oh, no. No way. She couldn't possibly do all of that in fifteen minutes."

"Can too!" she argued. "Watch!"

The next twenty minutes were a blur of bedtime routines as she quickly scrubbed off her glitter and brushed her teeth, putting her pajamas on backwards in her hurry to beat the clock. Two rounds with Mo Willems, and she was tucked in and snoring before we turned off the light. I kicked off my gold heels the second we were inside our room.

"Get this God-forsaken dress off of me," I moaned, sure I would have indentations in my skin for days from this stupid costume.

He chuckled behind me as he began to unzip me. "With pleasure."

Rolling my eyes, I held it up with my hands and moved away from him. As tired as I knew he was, he apparently still had a little bit of energy left to be playful. Stepping out of my dress, very carefully and _very_ slowly, I set it over the back of a chair, ignoring the feel of his eyes on me. Walking into the bathroom, I called out over my shoulder, "I'm going to take a shower really quick. I need to get all this makeup off…Coming?"

"God, I hope so," he muttered, appearing right behind me, his jacket tossed haphazardly on the floor, ripping his shirt over his head quickly. I reached inside the door to turn on the water, barely having turned back around before I found myself pressed up against it, his body hard against mine.

"I thought you were tired," I breathed, even as I helped him push his pants down. The slick material got tangled up around his ankles and I couldn't help but laugh a little as he struggled to kick them off. He glared at me playfully, opening the door behind me and pushing me inside, stepping in right after me.

"I'm not tired. I'm fucking _exhausted_," he corrected, pressing me up against the cool tile. "But my brain forgot to pass the message along to my dick, and _he_ has got a mind of his own when he sees you naked, baby."

As much as the idea of shower sex sounded _amazing_, I knew he was beyond exhausted. He had shadows under his eyes and his pupils were dilated from lack of sleep. Thinking quickly, I gave him a shy smile before I kissed him.

"I'll tell him for you," I whispered against his lips before dropping to my knees.

His hands went to my hair immediately, careful not to pull as I took him in my mouth. He was trying not to thrust against me, but all I wanted was for him to find his release, to ease some of the tension radiating from his entire body. When he moved his hips slightly, I moaned around him, bringing my hand up to help me.

I heard his palm hit the tile wall hard, the smack and his loud groan echoing in the steam-filled space around us. His gasps became louder the faster I sucked on him, rolling my tongue around his head as I felt it swell.

"Bella…_fuck_…I'm…I'm…" He let go, releasing down my throat, his body jerking above me in spasms as he slowly came down. When I stood, he kissed me immediately, beginning to trail his fingers down my body. It took all of my willpower and self-control to do it, but I halted his hand, bringing his palm up to kiss it softly.

"It's okay, Edward. Let's just clean up, okay?"

He furrowed his brow, confused. "What? But you…"

I smiled gently, shaking my head. "I know. But you have to be back at the hospital in less than seven hours and we need to sleep."

"But I want to make you feel good," he argued.

"Then finish washing up and cuddle me to sleep," I traded. "That's what will make me feel good tonight."

"Are you su-" he broke off into a yawn, solidifying my resolve.

I laughed, kissing him again. "Yes, I'm sure."

We washed and dried off quickly, slipping into t-shirts and boxers before crawling into bed. He double-checked his alarms before pulling me close to his body.

"Come see me for lunch tomorrow?" he murmured, already half-asleep.

"Okay," I smiled, snuggling into his arms.

"Love you…Bella," he slurred, asleep before he could hear me reply.

"I love you, too."

.

(November 1)

"Are you gonna pick me up today, or is Daddy?" Lily asked as we walked hand-in-hand up to Esme's door.

"I'm not sure," I answered hesitantly. "I only have a few thousand more words left for this chapter stuck in my head, so if I can get them out, I'll probably be done before Daddy. So, maybe me? But I can't promise."

She stopped walking, gaping at me. "You have a thousand words in your head? That's so many!"

Laughing at her, I rang the doorbell. "It _is_ a lot. If I pick you up today, do you want to see how many words are in _your_ head and write a new story?"

She nodded as Esme opened the front door, beaming at both of us. "There you are! I was wondering when you two would be making an appearance. Was somebody being a sleepyhead this morning?"

Lily ran past her to the playroom, shouting behind her, "Bella's a sleepyhead!"

Grinning bashfully, I raised my hand. "Uh, yeah, sorry, that was me. Lily was up at eight, but I convinced her to snuggle with me for a couple of hours until I could pry myself out of bed and make breakfast. So she's just eaten and now I'm on my way to meet Edward for lunch at the hospital."

Esme smiled understandingly. "I remember the days of stolen minutes in between pages. When was the last time you two had a date?"

I shrugged. "Does meeting with Siobhan count?"

She shot me a look, shaking her head. "Why don't you let Lily come over and have a sleepover on Saturday? You two can come over and get her in the morning or afternoon. Or wait until the family dinner, even."

I bit my lip, unsure. "I don't know, Esme. I feel like I should check with Edward first…"

She smiled slyly. "Or…you could surprise him. I remember my younger days with Carlisle, and Edward is very much like his father. He won't have a problem with it and even if he does, you can always blame it on me."

I debated over it internally, unable to deny how nice a night alone sounded. Lily hadn't been away from us overnight since we'd moved out of Esme's. Blowing out a long breath, I prayed I wouldn't regret this.

"Okay."

.

I made my way through the hospital corridors, determined to find Edward's department without any help. I turned around the millionth corner, trying not to grin like a lovesick teenager when I finally found him, leaning against a counter, a hand in his hair as he scribbled away furiously at the forms in front of him. His stethoscope was hanging around his neck on top of his white coat, a contrast to his dark blue scrubs.

_I have my very own McDreamy._

As if he could sense my presence, he looked up, his entire face lighting up when he saw me. I lifted the bag of sandwiches I'd picked up on the way over, waving them at him. He began to nod, when suddenly his face fell as a woman brushed past me and approached him. I'd never had the…_pleasure_ of seeing her before, but the rigid set of his jaw and the tiredness in his eyes spoke volumes.

_God, give me strength to not strangle this bitch in person. Thank you, Bella._

Steeling my shoulders, I continued walking toward him, my smile still firmly in place. She had dropped a folder on top of the forms he had been working on, pointing to something on a chart.

"I just wanted to double-check before I administered this dose, Edward," she smiled, batting her eyelashes and twirling a lock of hair from her ponytail.

He rolled his eyes, not even glancing down at the form. "Then could I suggest, _Nurse Mallory_, that you ask the doctor who ordered the medication? We don't even work in the same department and this isn't my patient. And it's _Dr. Cullen_." He looked past her to me, causing her to turn around to follow his line of vision.

Her brow furrowed in confusion for a second before she gaped openly at me. "Aren't you that author woman? The one that was kidnapped?"

If looks could kill, Edward would have struck her down with the fire in his eyes. I just stared blankly at her, amazed at her lack of tact. Breathing deeply, I nodded stiffly. "I usually just go by Bella, though." Looking to Edward, I smiled. "Are you ready for lunch?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Nurse Dum-dum again. "Wait…you two know each other? You're…_friends_?"

Huffing in annoyance, Edward stepped around her to reach me, placing his arm around my waist, splaying his hand across my stomach. Her eyes widened at the display, looking confused and horrified. As fun as it would have been to shove my tongue down his throat in an attempt to mark him as mine, this woman just wasn't worth my time. I'd heard the stories about her from Edward, all about her quest to land herself a doctor husband. It wasn't even _just_ Edward. Any single doctor in the hospital was fair game. But I didn't need to mark my territory. We knew what we were to each other and she'd probably never get the hint anyway.

Sighing heavily, I leveled her with a bored stare. "I don't think what we are is any of your business. Excuse us."

Edward shoved her folder aside to pick up his charts, his arm remaining tightly locked around me. He turned and guided me away, neither of us bothering to look back at her, even though a small part of me, probably the part that spent a lot of time with Lily and Emmett, wanted to at least turn around for a second to stick my tongue out at her.

He led me to the elevators, hitting the button and running his hand through his hair agitatedly. "I don't think I've ever wanted to hit a woman before today," he mused, his jaw still clenched. When the door opened, I pulled him inside, tugging his lab coat to bring him down to me so I could kiss his irritation away. When he pulled back, his eyes were slightly calmer. "You are one graceful swan, Bella. I'm pretty sure even my mom would have decked her when she-"

I placed my finger on his lips, smiling when he kissed the tip. "I don't care about her. She can say and think what she wants, as long as she keeps her hands to herself. You're _mine_."

He pinned me against the wall of the lift, the hand not full of charts wrapping tightly around my waist. "I love it when you get possessive, Beautiful."

"Well, you _are_," I whispered, just to get a rise out of him. He began to drop his head down to kiss me again, when the doors dinged and opened, causing us to jump apart. He chuckled lightly as he guided me through the cafeteria, finding an empty table in the corner.

I groaned as I looked out the window. "Ugh. It's _pouring_ out there. I'm going to get _so _wet."

He smirked, waggling his eyebrows at me as he tossed his charts aside. "I like you wet."

I swatted at him before handing him a sandwich. "Eat your lunch, perv. How long do you have?"

He shrugged as he inhaled his lunch. Passing him a bottle of water, he chugged half of it down before answering me. "Depends. The longer I take now, the later I'll have to stay. It's not really up to me today, though. I'm waiting on a patient to come out of surgery, so I'll likely be paged soon. Otherwise, I'd be giving you a tour of the on-call room," he grinned mischievously.

"Ooh, baby," I deadpanned, rolling my eyes. "A quickie in a bunk underneath sleeping interns. You romantic, you."

"Would you rather be in a bunk above sleeping interns?" he asked, his lip twitching.

"Seriously, Edward, stop. I'll swoon, right here in the cafeteria."

He grinned, finishing the last of his sandwich and then eyeing mine enviously. I slid it over to him, ignoring his protests.

"I'm not even hungry. I just ate breakfast an hour and a half ago. Take it."

He furrowed his brow in confusion, opening it grudgingly. "An hour and a half ago?"

I wrinkled my nose, embarrassed. "We slept in a bit. And by 'we,' I mean me. Lily and I cuddled in bed for a couple of hours and then I took her to Esme's."

He chuckled, barely even bothering to chew before he swallowed.

Resting my chin on my hand, I watched him wolf down the entire sandwich in less than two minutes. "Hungry, dear?"

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he shrugged bashfully. "A bit. Forgot breakfast this morning. So, am I picking her up today?"

I slipped my hand into his on top of the table. "I don't know. Can I just send you a text later? If I finish up my chapter in a reasonable amount of time, I should be able to do it…"

"Yeah, but if you slip into your zone, you might completely forget what day it is," he smirked. "I'll call you when I'm about to leave, alright? You can tell me then."

I bit my lip, feeling my face heat. "I don't forget what day it is," I mumbled.

He pushed aside the wrappers to lean on the table. "Uh…yeah, you do sometimes. And it's adorable. Especially when you wear those crazy socks and your glasses."

I flushed even hotter, trying to hide behind my hair as I looked out the window. He reached across the table, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Don't ever hide that pretty face from me. I don't get to see it enough as it is. I lo-" He was interrupted by his beeper and he grimaced apologetically as he checked it and stood, already picking up his charts and tossing his trash away. "I've got to run, love. I'm so-"

I shook my head, smiling up at him. Standing, I gave him a brief hug, walking with him as we headed back to the elevators, waiting for one to come and take him away. Before he stepped inside, he kissed me, murmuring against my lips, "I miss you."

Laughing, I kissed him once more before pushing him inside. "I haven't even left yet."

He frowned, shaking his head. "That's not what I meant."

Feeling more confident than ever in Esme's suggestion, I smiled at him. "I know. I miss you, too. I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"Love you back," he smiled weakly as the doors closed.

_Date night is definitely on._

_._

(November 2nd)

_Lily: tucked in and already sleeping at Esme's._

_Dinner: cooked, ready and waiting in the warming drawer._

_Dessert: baked, ready and waiting in the refrigerator._

_Movie: check._

_Bathtub: ready._

_After bathtub outfit: check. Thank you, Rose._

Now all I needed was Edward. He'd called about half an hour ago to ask if he needed to pick up Lily and I had sidestepped his question, simply telling him it was 'taken care of.' A jingle of keys in the lock made my heart begin to thump in anticipation, which was ridiculous, given that this wasn't even _really_ a date, but it was the first time I'd tried to do something for _him_, just from me.

I walked out of the kitchen and my smile froze on my face as I saw him trudge through the door, kicking his shoes off and tossing his keys on the table. He looked so worn out, I didn't know how his eyes were even still open. And he had a wadded up bag of trash from McDonald's in his hand.

_Oh boy._

He noticed me standing there and gave me a tired smile. "Hey, love. What'd you guys have for dinner? It smells great. I had to stop on the way home or my stomach was going to eat itself."

I tried to plaster a believable smile on my face as I waved my hand in the direction of the kitchen. "Just this Italian dish I wanted to try. Don't worry, there are plenty of leftovers for you for tomorrow. I actually just need to put the rest away really quick. Do you want to get comfortable on the couch?"

He nodded, almost drunkenly, pausing to kiss me on his way to the living room. "You look really pretty today, baby."

I smiled back, more genuinely this time, kissing him once more. "Thanks. I'll just be a minute."

He moved past me and I hurried into the kitchen, pulling the plates out of the warming drawer and covering them to place in the fridge.

_It's a good thing I munched while I cooked._

It took some maneuvering to find room next to the bowls of Crème Brule and fruit salad, but I fit them in eventually, grabbing a water bottle before walking out to join him on the couch.

"I got a movie for us to watch if you're not too ti-"

_I'm pretty sure he's too tired. _

He was hunched over on the couch, asleep sitting up. Snoring slightly, he even had a tiny little bit of drool in the corner of his mouth. I covered my lips to keep in my laugh at his sad state, shaking my head at myself and all the plans for the night that had just gone up in smoke. Sighing, I set my water on the table and sat down beside him.

_My poor McDreamy._

Noticing the time on the clock on the wall, I saw it was barely eight. Not wanting him to spend his day off tomorrow nursing a stiff neck, I tried to nudge him gently, whispering his name in his ear. He didn't even open his eyes for a second, completely dead to the world. I kissed him lightly before I covered him with a blanket and headed upstairs to change out of my dress.

I rolled my eyes at the lingerie laid out on the bed, picking it up and laying it over the back of the chair in the bedroom. Slipping out of my dress and into one of Edward's t-shirts quickly, I shivered as the air hit my bare legs. I grabbed a pair of my 'crazy socks' and pulled them up my legs, blowing my hair out of my eyes, annoyed. Snatching a pencil off the nightstand, I whipped my hair into a bun quickly, ramming the pencil through.

Given that all of this had taken less than ten minutes, I truly had no idea what to do with myself. I briefly contemplated writing, but dismissed it just as quickly. I'd gotten plenty done yesterday and I wasn't in the mood. Settling into bed, I decided to read for a bit before trying to wake up Edward again.

.

A soft touch on my cheek as something was moved from my chest stirred me and I jolted awake, disoriented. I blinked my eyes, adjusting to the light as Edward's face slowly came into focus. Straightening the glasses still on my face, I sat up quickly, looking around for a clock.

"What? What's going on? What time is it?"

He smiled gently, pushing me softly back down. "Shh, love. It's okay. I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep."

Shaking my head, I slid back up the bed to sit again. "No, no, I'm awake."

He chuckled, wiggling the pencil in my hair. "Bella, it's midnight." His smile slowly fell as he eyed my face closely. "I woke up downstairs and couldn't find you anywhere. I opened the fridge to get a drink and I saw…" he trailed off, looking questioningly at me, a tinge of hurt creasing the corners of his eyes.

"Would you believe it's just the leftovers?" I asked hopefully.

He raised an eyebrow disbelievingly at me and then looked pointedly at the lingerie still hanging on the back of the chair. "And I suppose those are just your new pajamas?"

I crinkled my nose. "Yes?"

He sighed. "And the reason why Lily is at my mom's, instead of sleeping in her bed where I went to find her and kiss her goodnight is…?"

I gasped, paling. "Oh, Edward. I am _so_ sorry. You must have been freaking out when you couldn't find her. I never meant to fall asleep; I was going to tell you over dinner…"

He shook his head, smiling slightly as he ran his thumb over my lips. "No, I came in here first and saw the bathroom. Between that and dinner, I had a pretty good idea. I just called to make sure I was right."

Pulling on the pom-poms attached to my socks, I smiled weakly. "Surprise? Are you mad?"

"At you? No," he scoffed. "I'm a little pissed at myself for falling asleep on you like that when you obviously had such a big night planned."

"It's okay," I shrugged. "None of that stuff is going anywhere and neither am I. We'll have other nights. You were really tired. I'd be surprised if you've slept more than five hours a night since you started back at the hospital."

"_But_," he began hesitantly, "I don't have to work tomorrow. And Lily's not here to wake us up at the break of dawn."

I bit my lip to keep from smiling, eyeing him shrewdly. "Are you going somewhere with this?"

He shrugged a shoulder and smiled that cocky, crooked grin. "I'm just saying…I'm feeling very refreshed from that nap, albeit a little stiff from sleeping on the couch like that. That bath you planned is sounding like a pretty good idea."

Unable to keep the excited smile off my face, I felt my face heat. "Yeah?"

He nodded, leaning back to eye me up and down. "But I don't think we can do that just yet."

Confused, I scrunched my eyebrows at him. He grinned wickedly at me for a second before leaning closer to me now, his eyes focused on my lips as he spoke softly.

"Because…your hair is a mess with that pencil stuck in it….you're wearing your glasses…and those fucking crazy socks with the weird toe things…and I want you. Now."

He covered my body with his then, capturing my lips and stealing all the air that whooshed out of my lungs. His hands were everywhere, playing with the edge of my socks around my thighs, teasing my panties, tugging at my shirt. When he moved his mouth down to my neck, I was finally able to gasp out, "You're making my glasses foggy."

_Verbal filter: lost._

He chuckled against my skin, lifting his head up. Taking my glasses off gently, he shook his head as he pulled the pencil out of my hair, shaking it loose behind me. "You are so fucking adorable."

Before he could move to kiss me again, I ripped his scrub top off, making his hair even crazier. He aligned his body alongside mine, kissing me fluidly and thoroughly. He pushed my panties down far enough for me to kick them the rest of the way off, his hands moving to my center immediately. His kisses moved down my neck and jaw as he pushed his fingers into me, going straight for the spot that made me surrender to him completely.

"I seem to recall owing you for the other night," he murmured. "And, if you take into account interest, I believe I have some work to do."

He worked me up to the edge with his hands, then followed quickly with his mouth, teasing my oversensitive skin into a frenzy before I exploded _again_. As soon as he sat up, I ripped my shirt over my head, already panting and sweating. He stood, his movements lithe as he undressed before me, his eyes dancing over my body. I started to reach for my socks but he was on me again before I could, rolling us over until I was straddling him.

I ground myself down on him shamelessly before he raised me by my hips above him. His eyes were blazing and he clearly couldn't wait any longer. I sank straight down on him, my eyes rolling shut as I took him in as deep as I ever had. His hands slid over my legs on either side of him, up my sides, pausing to caress the lily on my ribcage before settling on my breasts. I moved above him fiercely, never able to get enough of him. He'd just given me two orgasms, but I was still as hungry as ever for more.

He flipped us suddenly, landing me on my back as he kissed me desperately. Pulling back, he stared down at me with a wild look in his eye. "We're _alone_," he groaned. "And you're not making near enough noise for me. I want to hear you scream, Isabella."

I cried out as he thrust into me hard, almost pushing me up the bed with the force. My hands were twisted in the sheets by my head as I writhed underneath him, words and moans falling from my lips with no thought. He was relentless, his hands sliding over my slippery skin, tugging and teasing, stroking and caressing. I was suffocating in his touch, keening so hard when I came that my throat felt hoarse. A cross between a growl and a roar ripped through him as he stiffened, gasping above me for moments or hours afterward while I, too tried to recover.

"New rule," he panted. "At least once a month, we make time to do this."

"You want to only have sex once a month?" my sex-addled brain blurted out confusedly.

Laughing breathlessly, he grinned down at me. "No. We have the house to ourselves at least once a month. So we can do _that_. Repeatedly. Loudly."

I moaned softly as he pulled out of me, unable to move as he collapsed beside me. "Rain check on the bath. I can't move. My legs feel like jelly."

"Uh-uh," he disagreed, pushing himself up. He picked me up swiftly, carrying me to the bathroom and setting me on the counter. "We've stolen many showers, but I don't think I've ever gotten to curl up in a bath with you, and I can't pass up on the chance since we don't have to worry about little fingers under the door."

I laughed as he started the water, holding up the bottles of bath salts and bubbles confusedly.

"Just pour in about a cup. They smell good and soothe your muscles."

He shrugged, dumping some in and then walking back over to me, slowly peeling off my socks. I blushed, realizing how ridiculous I must have looked. As if he could read my mind, he smirked at me, throwing them on the floor. "Never knew I had a sock fetish before you, love."

I laughed as he lifted me from the counter, setting me into the bath and turning off the water before climbing in behind me. Smiling, I settled into the warmth of his chest as I played with the bubbles in front of me.

"I feel like I'm in a scene from _Pretty Woman_. Oh my gosh! Wasn't his name Edward, too? And he played piano!"

He snorted behind me, wrapping his arms around my torso. "Your mind is a mysterious place sometimes, Beautiful."

I rubbed my hands over his legs, up and down, just to feel the connection, enjoying the quiet, comfortable silence. We stayed in the tub until the water turned cold, drying each other off and slowly redressing into our comfort clothes, the lingerie long forgotten. We fed each other dessert in between laughs at his favorite Mel Brooks movie, making love once more before falling asleep on top of each other on the couch in the early hours of the morning.

.

**A/N: Review for a teaser. Next chapter is the last regular chapter. *gulps and hides from the flying tomatoes* **

**FGB Update. You're probably tired of hearing about this, but I just want to make sure everybody knows you've still got some time to sign up, and it would be nice if you've filled out the form and pledged or however it is that it works, if you could let me or Monamour have a good idea of what outtake you'd like to see.**

**Want to hear the fight where Edward gets told to shut his condescending, primeval, chauvinistic mouth? Or the makeup sex that came after?**

**Their first time after the cast came off?**

**Want to hear about the first time they forgot to lock the bedroom door?**

**I'm offering up any POV, from any chapter, pretty much any prompt. And I'm writing a bunch. Let her know, folks, let her know.**

**Fic Rec:**

**I Don't Believe in Vampires by lazykate. AU, and faaan-tastic. She's got and outtakes story, too.**


	35. Chapter 35 I'll Never Stop

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, SM owns the characters. © 2009-2010 Isakassees**

**A/N: I'll actually just save it all for the bottom, eh?**

**Brother: You know what? Read it. Read the whole thing. It's the last chapter and you should get the whole experience. Just try to think of it as something one of your friends wrote. Not your sister. The sister that almost died making that pathetic excuse of a treehouse for the Calvin and Hobbes club. The sister that stuck ice in your diaper on that road trip. The sister who is actually really grateful you bothered to read this, but will never admit to your face. **

Chapter 35: I'll Never Stop Being Thankful for You

(November 27th)

EPOV

"Yoo-hoo! We're here!" Renee called out as she stepped through the front door of my parent's house. Phil and Charlie were struggling with suitcases behind her and I rushed forward to help them as Bella and Lily came out of the kitchen where they had been hard at work baking for tomorrow with my mom.

"Nana! Baseball Phil! Papaw? Where's New Nana?" Lily rushed out in one breath, jumping into Renee's arms.

Charlie laughed breathlessly, setting down one of Renee's huge suitcases. "She's with her kids for Thanksgiving. Maybe we can all be together next year, but I didn't want to miss my first Thanksgiving with you, little one."

Lily shook her head at him exasperatedly. "Papaw. Little. _Thing_."

Bella walked over to Renee, brushing some flour off Lily's cheek. "Tone, Lily."

Lily nodded immediately as Bella embraced her mother briefly, missing Renee's eyebrows raise at the ease with which Bella quickly nipped Lily's attitude in the bud. Renee gave me a knowing smile as I shrugged, used to Bella's mothering way with Lily after the last two months. I'd kept my mouth shut about it, wanting her to realize it in her own time, but she'd figure it out sooner or later.

"How was your flight?" I asked no one in particular.

"Long," Phil groaned. "I need a nap."

"Oh goodness," Renee shook her head, her voice cracking into a yawn. "Don't even start talking about naps. There's much too much to do around here."

I shared a confused look with Bella as Renee set Lily down and began digging in her carry-on bag, emerging with multi-colored corn husks strung together. A lot of them.

"Phil, I'm going to need your help placing these above the doorways around the house. Edward, do you know where your father keeps his hammer and nails?"

I recovered quickly, not even sure why I was surprised at Renee's kooky decorations. She would never be the type to show up with something normal, like a pumpkin pie. But as things like that went, I could do much worse in the future mother-in-law department.

_Just have to man up and ask the girl, Cullen._

"I'll go grab them for you, Renee," I smiled, shaking my head at my thoughts. It wasn't time yet. Not quite yet. But it was coming. Soon. I could feel it. My biggest problem was figuring out how to do it. Flipping the lights on in the garage, I knelt down and dug around in my dad's toolbox looking for a hammer.

"Hey, Edward," Bella's voice called out from the door, making me jump and hit my head on the shelf above me.

"_Shit_!" I cursed under my breath, rubbing the back of my head gingerly. "Yeah, baby?"

"Your mom says don't worry about the tools. Renee's just going to hang them up on the mistletoe hooks…Are you okay?"

Standing up, I walked over to her, still rubbing my head. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just knocked the shit out of my head on that shelf."

"Aw, poor Edward," she mock-pouted. "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"

I cocked my eyebrow at her, grinning. "I just remembered something _else_ that's hurting…"

She shoved my shoulder, turning around and walking away. "Can't even take a break from the perviness for the holidays, dear?"

I caught up with her quickly, wrapping my arm around her waist. "You know, you only call me _dear_ when you're especially exasperated with me."

Her lips twitched with a smile as we made our way back into the kitchen. "Then it's a wonder I call you anything else, ever."

"Oh, that looks beautiful, Emmett!" Renee exclaimed happily as he hung a string of corn husks along the top of the doorframe. "So we can all remember how important corn was to our ancestors! It's a very divine grain, you know."

Bella sighed heavily, smiling indulgently in her mother's direction. I squeezed her waist in support, knowing how much she had missed Renee. Lily came running forward, a string of corn bouncing around her neck.

"Nana let me have some for a necklace! Isn't that cool?" she grinned, a gaping hole where her front tooth had been up until two days ago.

"It looks great, Little Thing," Bella winked. "Do you want to get back to work on the pies with me or are you going to go play for a bit?"

Lily frowned thoughtfully, giving the matter serious consideration. "Play."

"Alright," Bella laughed. "Then, shoo, because I've got to get to work on the crusts now."

"Oh, Bella, let me help you with that," my mother chirped. "I might even trust you with my secret ingredient. My mother-in-law taught me."

Her offer was simple, but the undercurrent to her words was heard loud and clear. She and Renee couldn't have a conversation with us lately without making _some _little mention of in-laws, or future grandchildren, or the house that just opened up for sale two blocks away.

_Lily must have gotten her subtlety from her grandmothers._

I reluctantly released Bella to let her walk over to the counter and resume her pie-making, leaning back against the wall to watch her work. Lily grabbed Renee by the hand, leading her out of the kitchen to play in the living room. Bella was working on chopping up pecans as my mom walked up beside her, setting a large bowl on the counter.

"Alright, so let me ask you, Bella…What do you normally use for your pie crusts?"

Bella shrugged. "The usual. Shortening, water, egg and flour. Little bit of salt."

My mom nodded excitedly, obviously eager to have a daughter to pass on her baking knowledge that would actually use it. "Alright, you take this bowl and work on the dry ingredients and I'll get to work on the wet mixture."

I chuckled at my mother's eagerness, pushing off the wall to check on Lily. She was teaching Renee how to make turkeys out of construction paper by outlining their hands, a mess of googly eyes and feathers and glue spread out around them. Emmett was still following instructions and hanging corn around the house while Charlie and Jasper watched Lily and Renee amusedly, Phil snoring on the window seat.

"Edward!" my mother's distressed voice shrieked through the house. I barely saw Charlie and Lily jump up from their seats before I tore down the hallway, running back into the kitchen. Bella was ashen and almost hyperventilating, her brown eyes big and full of tears as she backed herself as far away from my mother as possible, her hand clamped tightly over her mouth and nose.

"What happe-"

"Why does it smell like the bad house in here?" Lily cried out, running straight for the safety of Bella's arms. Bella's hands were shaking protectively around Lily's shoulders as she gasped and choked for air.

"Es…Esme…please…p-p-p-put it away…the v-v-vineg-"

She didn't have to finish before my mother picked up the bottle of vinegar I hadn't noticed before and a bowl of liquid, throwing them both into the garbage can and tossing the entire thing outside. She threw a towel on top of where the vinegar had clearly spilled, throwing that out as well after she sopped it up, straight onto the patio. She turned back to Bella with sorrowful eyes, her lip trembling.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I-"

Bella shook her head jerkily, still breathing quickly and clutching Lily tightly, whose face was wrinkled up in disgust. "N-n-no. I n-n-never m-m-mentioned it. T-t-to anyone." I wanted so badly to go to her, but something held me back, something in her eyes that conveyed her growing handle on the situation.

Her grasp on Lily slowly loosened as her breathing slowed. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she whispered, loud enough that we could all hear her in the stone silence in the kitchen. Lily nodded quickly, turning and wrapping her arms around Bella's waist.

"That smell's gross. I don't like that smell."

"I know," Bella said softly, running her fingers through Lily's hair. "I remember. But we're safe."

"We're home," Lily mumbled into Bella's legs, finishing the mantra for her. "We're here."

My mother approached them slowly, her face showing her remorse. "I really am so sorry. I had no idea."

Bella smiled weakly back at her, reaching her hand out to her, which my mother grasped thankfully. "No, Esme. I'm sorry. It's…I never told anyone about it. I'll explain later, if you'd like. I'm sorry about your recipe."

My mother sniffled and laughed, waving her off. "Oh, don't be, dear. My mother-in-law was an intolerable woman. She probably stole it from Martha Stewart or something anyway."

Bella laughed brokenly back at her, a few stray tears falling from her eyes as she picked Lily up, rocking her back and forth. "Well, for the record, you're the best mother-in-law _I_ could ask for…I'll be back…I just…I just need a minute." She walked quickly, not even pausing when she reached her hand down and grabbed mine, pulling me with her out of the kitchen into the living room.

She stopped once we reached the room, looking up at me as if completely lost. I pulled her to the couch, settling Lily across both of our laps so I could wrap my arms around both of them. Bella snuggled into my chest, speaking softly.

"We used it to clean. Everything. The bathrooms, the kitchen, the floors…the whole house, it always smelled like vinegar…Are you really okay, Lily?"

"Yeah," Lily answered automatically. "I just…I hate that smell. It scared me. It makes me sad."

"I know. Me, too. But I think we actually did pretty good just now. We snapped out of it, just you and me," Bella encouraged, and I could hear the pride for Lily in her voice. I was really proud of _her_. She hadn't let herself become lost in her memories. She'd stayed present, calmed down on her own, still able to give comfort to Lily. My girl was fucking amazing. "And we'll still have a good Thanksgiving. We'll just let Nana handle the pies, okay?"

"Okay," Lily nodded, nuzzling the crook of my elbow as Bella covered her in a throw blanket sitting beside her. I felt like there was something I should be doing to help us get back to where we'd been just moments before, when everyone was laughing and getting ready for the holiday.

"Tell me what I can do," I whispered. "Please."

"Just hold us. I just want to stay where I know I'm safe," she whispered back, her hand resting on Lily's cheek as Lily nodded.

"Daddy always feels safe," she agreed softly, sending pangs through my chest. We stayed that way for over an hour, Lily dozing off at some point as the tension in Bella's body slowly relaxed, her sweet kisses periodically over my heart the only clue she was even still awake. We simply sat together, letting the somber moment pass in its own time, watching the snow fall outside the window as I held my girls close to my heart.

.

Everyone either holed themselves away in another part of the house or left entirely, because the whole house was completely silent while we sat in the living room together. When Lily finally woke up, she stretched out like a little kitten, her distress from earlier seemingly forgotten as soon as she saw the snow outside.

"Can we make a snowman?" she asked excitedly, jumping off of our laps and bouncing from foot to foot.

I looked to Bella, who had a small grin on her face. "I don't think I can remember the last time I made a snowman…But we have to bundle up!"

Lily nodded quickly, disappearing from the room and shouting for my mother's help. I kept my arm locked around Bella's shoulder, watching her closely.

"Are you sure you're alright, love?"

She nodded, her eyes open and honest. "I really am. It…it was so different this time. I mean, I smelled it, and I automatically felt like I was being sucked back…_there_…but I knew that I wasn't. It felt like two parts of my brain were fighting each other or something. Like…smelling it makes me feel scared, even though I know intuitively that there's nothing scary about vinegar. I knew I was in your mom's kitchen, that you were here somewhere, that he's gone…I don't think I know how to explain it."

"No, you are," I argued. "You know that's the first one where it was all you. I wanted to help you, but you just had this look in your eye like _you_ needed to be the one to come out of it, like I couldn't do anything that time…Something told me to wait and see."

She smiled beautifully, her eyes lighting with that spark I fell in love with as she cupped my cheek in her warm palm. "Thank you for that. For letting me do it myself. I know how hard it is for you to not swoop in and protect me from everything. Lily, too…I feel kind of invincible right now. I'm totally ready to kick your ass in a snowman contest."

I scoffed, playfully pushing her hand away. "You don't stand a chance, Swan. Bring it."

She grinned, standing up to head upstairs and change. "So full of yourself. We shall see, Mr. Cullen."

_Fuck, I love it when she calls me that._

"Care to make this interesting?" I wagered, a plan forming in my mind.

"I'm listening," she smirked.

"Impartial judge to decide the best snowman. Winner decides the prize. You game?"

"You're going down, Cullen!" she called out before she shut the door to her old room in my face.

_If you let me, baby._

.

We made our way back downstairs to the kitchen, where our families seemed to be making their presence known again. Rose and Alice had returned from wherever they had been earlier and I was grateful none of them mentioned the incident. I did catch Charlie's concerned look and gave him a nod, silently letting him know I'd talk to him about it later and that everything was alright now.

"Why are you guys dressed like Eskimos?" Emmett asked suspiciously, already sticking his enormous feet into his boots.

"We're gonna make a snowman!" Lily announced, muffled through her scarf. My mom had her wrapped in a coat, hat, mittens, scarf, snow pants and snow boots. She looked like a giant, pink, fuzzy marshmallow.

"Yes!" Emmett grinned, pumping his fist in the air.

"We're going to have a snowman competition. How does boys against girls sound?" Bella smiled, her eyes on Lily. Lily grinned, running out of the kitchen at top speed.

"I'm gonna get clothes for our snowman. I mean, girl! I wanna make a snowgirl!" she shouted as she pounded up the stairs.

"That's some dirty fighting there, Swan," I mumbled under my breath in her ear. "Don't think I'm going to let you win just because you've got a cute kid on your team."

She smiled wickedly at me, teasing her fingers up my chest and into my hair. "Nothing dirty about it, _Cullen_. Me and my _cute kid_ are gonna kick your ass."

"Go, Bella!" Alice shouted from the kitchen table as she and Rose clapped. My mom and Renee were working on the pies again, but I noticed with relief that Renee was only sipping on wine, not actually handling any of the food. Bella blushed as she realized people were watching us, namely her father.

"Whatever," Emmett scoffed. "Don't get cocky, Swan. I'm not gonna let you use your feminine wiles to distract Eddie here. Who's judging this thing?"

"I will," Jasper smiled, slipping his boots on. "And I say…One hour to create and decorate the snowman, using only materials already in the house and shed. Uh…no feminine wiles to distract. I declare winner. What's the prize?"

"To be determined by the winning team," I answered, not really sure how my plan would work if we were doing teams. No way was I sharing what I had in mind with Emmett. "Each member of the team gets to decide his own."

"Or _her_ own," Bella corrected smugly.

"Family!" my dad shouted as he burst in the door, looking a bit worse for wear. His shirt was half un-tucked, his hair resembling mine. His forehead was a little sweaty, despite the cold weather outside. "I have returned!"

"Dad?" I approached cautiously. "Have you been drinking?"

"No," he answered seriously. "But I will be soon."

Turning to my mother, he pulled a can out of his coat pocket. "Woman…do you know what I had to go through to find this can of cranberry sauce for you? I, your brave husband, scoured the jagged terrain of Seattle, using my keen hunting skills to find the _last_ known can of whole-berry, unsweetened, organic cranberry sauce for _you_, my wife."

He walked toward her, holding the can in the air like a trophy. "I navigated through the treacherous aisles of the evil that is Trader Joes on the day before Thanksgiving to find this for you. I fought through riotous crowds, old crotchety women with more coupons than sense and other desperate, brave hunters such as myself, emerging victorious to bring this home to you. You may thank me now."

"Oh my God, this is totally where you get it," Bella muttered quietly, shaking as she tried to keep from laughing.

"Carlisle," my mother whimpered, her face red with contained laughter. "I meant to call you…I found the cranberry sauce behind a can of corn in the pantry. We, uh…we don't need it. But…thank you," she tried to say sweetly.

"Throw it out," he demanded immediately. "Toss it into the garbage. You will use _this_ can of cranberry sauce, woman, so help me God."

Bella doubled over as the entire room dissolved into laughter, except for my dad, who was seriously looking on the counter for the offending dish. He picked up the bottle of cooking wine my mother had beside the stove and took a huge swig of it, holding the can in front of her face.

"It will be used. Or I'm banning Thanksgiving for the rest of our lives."

She broke into hysterical laughter, taking the can from him and patting his cheek gently. "I'll use it, dear. The children are about to go outside and have a snowman contest. Would you care to help Jasper judge?"

"Fine," he nodded, holding up the bottle of sherry. "But I'm taking this with me."

"Yes, dear," she replied, wiping the tears from her eyes and shaking her head. He stomped back out the door, followed by Charlie and Phil after they grabbed a six-pack out of the fridge. Lily came back into the kitchen, her arms full of clothes and accessories.

"I'm ready!"

"Let's do this," Bella grinned, pecking me on the cheek before walking out the door with Lily.

.

"I think I'm gonna want bragging rights," Emmett groaned as he pushed a huge amount of snow onto the base of our snowman. "Like a week of being called 'The King,' or some shit. What're you gonna pick?"

"Not telling," I huffed, adding my own pile of snow on top of Emmett's mound. "Shouldn't this be rounder?"

"Can't rush perfection, Ed. Whaddya mean you're not telling?"

"Exactly that, Em. Not telling. As in not telling _you_," I sighed, trying to round out of the bottom of our snowman. Glancing over at Bella and Lily's creation, I frowned at the very clear form of a snowman already put together. "I think we need to rethink this world's largest snowman plan. We only have twenty minutes left."

"You dirty son-of-a-bitch. You're planning somethin' raunchy for a kiddie snowman contest, dude. That's just wrong…And you're wrong. This snowman's gonna be fucking epic. They'll be able to see it from space and shit."

"It just looks like a pile of snow. The girls are already starting to put clothes on theirs…And lower your fucking voice, will you? I already told you I'm not telling you shit," I snapped, stepping back to gauge our progress. "This is not working, man."

He too stepped back, scratching his head with his big, mitten-covered paw. "We may have been overly ambitious…Well, shit. Whaddya wanna do now?"

I frowned, shrugging. "I don't kn-" I was stopped by a snowball whacking me right in the side of the face. Glaring at Emmett, I barely had time to duck behind the snowman-turned-fort as he threw another one straight for my head. I packed a ball quickly in my gloves, jumping up quickly and landing one square in his chest.

He raised his arms up toward the sky, his fists clenched tight. "Snowball fiiiiiiight!"

"Bella and Lily win by default! Contest over! Every man for himself!" Jasper shouted, running forward and tossing a snowball at me, narrowly missing my leg.

"Hey! Quit ganging up on my man!" Bella yelled. "C'mon, Lily!"

The air was whirling with snowballs flying back and forth across the backyard. Lily defected to Emmett's side, leaving Bella and me on our own.

"I'm gonna remember this at Christmas, Lilybug!" I called out from behind the tree where we were hiding. "See if you get any presents from me!"

"I don't care, Daddy! Uncle Emmie says Santa will bring me lots!" she shouted back. "I'm gonna win you!"

All during this fight, my dad, Charlie and Phil were watching while they drank beer and cheap wine. Alice, Rose and Renee were watching from inside, sipping hot chocolate, probably spiked with Kahlua or Bailey's. My mother was braving the elements to take pictures of it all, per usual, always eager to add to her family albums.

We were at a standoff of OK Corral proportions. Jasper, Emmett and Lily behind the fort, Bella and I behind a large oak at the beginning of the tree line. As if she was in my head, Bella began whistling the theme from _The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly._

"We need a strategy," I whispered, grinning down at her.

"I have an idea," she began, the wheels in her mind working while she began putting together a pile of snowballs. "You take off your coat-"

"I already don't like this," I interrupted, shutting up when she raised her eyebrow at me. I'd seen her give that look to Lily plenty of times and it apparently worked on me, too.

"You take off your coat and we fill it with snowballs. I take my coat off and do the same, but stay behind you as we run out. You throw from your coat while we charge them and when we reach them, I'll come out from behind you and dump the snow onto them."

"_Except_," I pointed out carefully. "We're going to be getting snowballs thrown at us with no coats on. We'll freeze."

She chewed on her lips as she thought. "Well, technically, you'll be the one getting hit with the snowballs. I'll be behind you, so it'll be fine. Let's do this."

I gaped at her, shaking my head when I caught her mischievous smirk. "So the knight must be sacrificed to save his lady love?"

She shrugged, her smile breaking through. "Whatever you have to tell yourself, babe. I just don't want to get cold…Besides, you didn't ask me what I wanted for my prize. From the snowman contest?"

"Let me guess…you want me to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital dying of hypothermia?" I asked dryly.

She shook her head coyly, leaning forward as she looked up at me through her eyelashes.

_Feminine wiles, Cullen! Look away! Look away!_

"I want to let Lily spend the night here. And I want to take you home and warm you up. All. Night. Long," she whispered, darting her tongue out to wet her lips.

_I fucking love feminine wiles._

"Are you okay with that?" I asked, trying to mask the hope in my voice. I'd been working 'round the clock to get these three days off for Thanksgiving and we hadn't had time alone since…I couldn't remember, which was a pretty bad sign. "What about your mom and Charlie?"

"My mom is exhausted from her flight and will probably pass out after dinner. Our dads are already half in the bag and it's not even five. We can be back over here tomorrow morning before anyone even wakes up. I miss you," she finished softly.

Cradling her face in my hands, she closed her eyes and hummed. "Bella, I have missed you so much. I swear to you, as soon as this residency's up, we're going on a vacation. A couple of days for the three of us and a couple of days just for you and me. And when we get back, I'll start up in my dad's old office and I will never be home later than six o'clock again."

She opened her eyes, always so loving and understanding. So much more than I could ever deserve. "I know, Edward. We'll be fine. There are much worse things…So, tonight?"

"Absolutely. Can we go now?" I grinned.

"First, we need to finish this fight," she smiled back, unzipping her coat to fill it with snow.

"You two better get back in this game or we're gonna smoke you!" Emmett yelled. We armed ourselves quickly, Bella hidden behind me.

"One…two…now!"

We ran forward and as I had predicted, I was pelted with a barrage of snowballs, cringing as some of Emmett's iceballs made contact with my unprotected chest. I did my best to give back just as good, grinning when I caught Jasper right in the forehead. Lily's snowballs missed far and wide so I spared her from most of my onslaught, but Bella didn't have any such mercy.

She dumped the contents of her coat on top of all three of them, making sure to pour some down the inside of Emmett's and Jasper's coats. It got to the point where we weren't even bothering to form the snow before tossing it, instead just grabbing handfuls and chucking them at each other.

"Alright, alright! I think it's time to call it a draw. Edward, Bella, get your coats on before you freeze!" my mom shouted out over the roar of the battle.

"Five more minutes, Mom," Bella squealed as Lily tackled her, landing on top of her.

"Make a snow angel," Lily ordered, flopping off of Bella to lie beside her, sliding her arms and legs across the snow. I didn't give Bella a chance, given that I could see her teeth chattering. I didn't really relish the idea of _her_ spending Thanksgiving in the hospital with hypothermia, either.

I yanked her up, shaking my head. "No way, my mom's right. It's time to go and warm up."

Her eyes widened as she blushed. "Edward, we can't leave yet!"

Laughing, I grabbed her hand as I pulled Lily up with my other. "Who's the perv now? I meant inside, _here_, and warm up. But if you're in that much of a rush…"

She narrowed her eyes at me, scowling amusedly. "Keep making fun," she sing-songed in warning.

"Where're you guys going?" Lily piped up.

I answered her, but looked at my mom who was giving me a curious look. "Bella and I thought you might like to have a sleepover with Nana tonight."

"But I thought we're all gonna have a sleepover tonight already?" she asked, looking between Bella and myself confusedly.

"Oh, he meant a _special_ sleepover," my mother jumped in, saving me. "No parents allowed, only Nanas and Papaws. What do you think?"

As soon as my mom said the word 'special,' Lily was sold. Her face lit up as she walked over to my mom. "Can we have hot chocolate now? With marshmallows?"

"Is there any other way?" my mother joked, guiding her inside, but not before winking at me once. Wrapping my arm around Bella to try and bring us both some warmth, we left Emmett and Jasper wrestling in the snow behind us, our dads cheering them on.

.

"_Oh_, that is so much better," Bella sighed, settling into my side in front of the fire. We were all warming up with hot chocolate after changing into dry clothes, snuggling under a blanket while Lily prepared to perform 'Lily Time' for us. It was something she and Bella had created to help fill me in on the days when I worked from before dawn to night and could barely keep my eyes open to drive home.

It had now taken on a life of its own. Lily's performances were nightly, even on days like today when I wasn't working. She used props, practiced in her room during the day; sometimes it was just her telling a story, with no mention of her day at all. Either way, I ate it up, because I knew the day would come when she'd barely tell me 'fine' when I asked her how her day was. Even if some nights, Bella had to remind me of that fact.

"When's the pizza gonna be here?" Emmett barked, rubbing his stomach as if he'd never eaten before.

"Pizza?" Bella asked, confused.

"Cullen family tradition. My mom works so hard on Thanksgiving for two days straight, that we order pizza the night before and the men clean up," I explained, rolling my eyes as she nodded approvingly.

"Nice," she grinned.

"And I won't eat again until lunch tomorrow when the turkey's served," Emmett announced proudly. "Gotta make sure there's plenty of room for seconds and dessert."

"Okay, okay, I'm ready," Lily announced, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. She caught herself, her eyes jumping straight to me and Bella. "I mean, excuse me. Sorry."

"It's okay, Lily," Bella smiled sweetly back. "Thank you for remembering without being told."

Lily beamed with pride, picking up her turkey to display to the room. Clearing her throat dramatically, she began. "Okay. It's Lily Time! Today, I'm gonna show you my turkey and tell you about corn and my snowgirl.

"This is my turkey. It's really my hand and Bella taught me how to make it."

I nudged Bella, eyeing her questioningly.

"Google," she whispered, making me chuckle as Lily continued.

"This is my corn necklace and it's not really a necklace but I made it my necklace. Um…corn is really old and the Pigrins and Indians ate it for Thanksgiving everyday…And today I made a snowgirl with Mommy and we beat Daddy and Uncle Emmie. And for my prize I wanna TV for my room."

"No," Bella and I answered in a bored tone in unison.

Lily had been told no for this before, so it wasn't exactly a shock to her. "Can I pick a movie to watch for sleepover tonight?"

"Of course you can," my mom smiled. "But I'm afraid I…_lost_ your _Little Mermaid _movies. So anything but those."

Lily frowned, looking around the room. "Well…I guess we can watch _Beauty and the Beast_. But maybe I can find them. I'll go look. Lily Time's over!" She scampered over to the entertainment center and began digging through the movies.

"What do you want to do, love? Stick around for dinner or grab something for ourselves?" I asked before kissing Bella's temple.

She sighed, turning to rest her chin on my shoulder. "I don't know. It's so _warm_ in here. Can we go after dinner? Pizza sounds good."

"It does," I agreed, just as the doorbell rang. Emmett ran to the door and returned quickly with a stack of pies.

"Alright. Pizza time."

.

After dinner, I was about to go find Bella to leave when Emmett stopped me.

"Hey bro, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

"Outside?" I asked incredulously. "It's freezing, man. Can't we talk in here?"

He shook his head. "Nah, man. I need some privacy."

Concerned, I nodded. "Alright. Let's go."

He pointed me on, turning to walk out of the living room. "You go ahead. I'll be right there."

Almost ten minutes later, he _finally_ appeared with a confused-looking Charlie, Jasper, and our dad in tow.

"Emmett?" I asked. "What's going on?"

He raised his hand up, shaking his head. "Everybody get comfortable."

We all found seats on the freezing patio furniture, warming our hands around the Chimnea after he lit it. We sat patiently, waiting for him to explain himself. I was starting to get kind of worried.

"Alright, look. We're here to talk to you about baby B."

"No, we're not," Charlie interrupted automatically. "I'm here 'cause you said you had beer. If you don't, I'm goin' back in where it's warm."

"Okay, okay," Emmett muttered, walking over to a cooler by the back door and pulling out a case of beer. "There…So, Edward. When're you gonna marry her?"

My eyebrows shot to my hairline as I realized he was being serious. I was freezing my balls off because he was trying to butt his nose into my relationship.

"Are you kidding me, Em? I'm fucking freezing out here so you can get in my business? I hate to tell you, but the first person to know about it will be Bella, not you."

He narrowed his eyes at me, not intimidated by my sharp tone. "So have you got a ring? Asked Charlie yet?"

"Consider my permission granted," Charlie said gruffly. "Can we go in?"

"Why exactly are _we_ here?" Jasper interrupted, motioning between himself and my dad.

"To pass on our knowledge and marriage advice to our brother and son here so he can keep B happy. I will kick your ass if you make my sister cry," Emmett said firmly.

I just stared at him. "That's your advice? That sounds more like a threat. A completely unnecessary one."

He ignored me, turning to Jazz. "Jasper? Anything you'd like to add?"

"Yeah," Jazz nodded, taking a deep swig of his beer. "Never listen to anything Emmett says, and you'll be married forever."

My dad snorted beer out of his nose as he chuckled, almost falling over onto Charlie. "Always go get the cranberry sauce," he snickered, making Charlie guffaw.

"Don't look at me," Charlie shook his head. "Divorced for twenty years. I'm the last person to ask for advice. But I think Jasper's probably on the right track," he choked out through his laughs.

Emmett was completely undeterred by their amusement, looking at me with something close to pain in his eyes. "Does it still happen a lot? Does she get scared like that a lot?"

Everyone's laughs cut off abruptly as I finally realized the cause of Emmett's seemingly ridiculous concern. Facing them all, especially he and Charlie, I shook my head. "No, man. I think that's the first time something's happened like that outside of Siobhan's in weeks. And Emmett, you've got to believe me when I say that today was…it was a fucking stellar achievement on her part. She told me all about it. I mean, she was able to talk out her feelings afterward, she explained what set her off, she didn't black out…She's really okay, man. I promise. My girl's strong."

Emmett nodded, his eyes fixed on the beer in his hand. "I know she is, I just…I wanted to make sure she's okay. That she's happy."

"I'd like to think she is," I said with a small smile. "And I plan on spending the rest of my life keeping her that way. You're free to kick my ass anytime I don't, though."

"As if I needed your permission," he scoffed, rubbing his nose suspiciously and standing. "Alright, fine. It's fucking cold and I'm satisfied. I'm going in."

Jasper and my dad jumped up immediately, but Charlie remained in his seat, so I stayed put as well, waiting him out. He obviously had something to say. Once we were alone, he nodded to himself, taking a drink of his beer.

"I meant what I said before. Whenever you decide to do it, you've got my permission, if that matters to you at all," he mumbled quickly.

I blinked at him in shock before I recovered myself. "Of course it does, Charlie. I…thank you. That means the world to me. I'd planned on asking you soon, I'm just still working on a good idea on how to ask."

He smiled a small smile, looking wistfully down at the ground. "Do yourself a favor. You can kill yourself trying to figure out all the perfect little everythings that you think she deserves and needs, but…try to think of _who_ you're asking, not the where or the how. That's probably the best I've got." He stood, clapping me on the shoulder as he passed.

I remained, leaning my elbows on my knees as I contemplated his words, analyzing them. Not considering the ideal setting I thought a proposal should have or the way I would phrase my words to convey my feelings, I focused simply on Bella.

Staring out into the backyard as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, a slow smile came across my face as his words hit home.

.

Wandering back inside, I began searching through the downstairs trying to find Bella so we could leave. I followed the giggles and snickers to my mother's room, where Rose, Alice, my mom and Bella were sitting on the bed.

"Edward!" Bella exclaimed as she ran over to me, her eyes bright with red cheeks. "Hi!"

"Um…hi. What are you guys doing in here?" I asked slowly, wondering why my girl was talking so loudly and why the women on the bed were _still_ laughing.

"Nothing," she answered quickly. Too quickly.

"O-kaay. Where's Lily?"

"She went to bed with Nana. I mean Renee. I mean my mom," she blurted out in one breath, dissolving into giggles as the other women cackled loudly.

I raised my eyebrow as something hidden behind Rose's back caught my eye. Walking around Bella, I held my hand out expectantly, rolling my eyes when Rose tried to play innocent.

"Give it to me, Rose. How much have you guys had?"

"What are you talkin' 'bout, Eddie?" she asked, her face red and her eyes glassy.

"Good heavens, Edward. Like you have any room to talk. Bella and I have peeled you and your father off the ground more than once. Loosen up. Learn to have a little fun," my mother chided, sounding surprisingly lucid.

"How much have _you _had?" I asked her pointedly.

"Oh, none. It's much more fun to watch them. Besides, if Lily needs me…" she shrugged, watching Alice attempt to take a drink from their bottle behind Rose's back and failing miserably as she fell over.

"But Bella, your medication…" I eyed her worriedly, trying to check her pupils and slyly take her pulse as I grabbed her wrist.

"Oh no, it's okay," she said seriously, holding her arm out limply. "I just didn't take it today. It's fine. I didn't have very much, I swear."

Amused more than anything, I sighed. "And how much is not very much, _dear_?"

She snorted, covering her mouth with her hand in embarrassment. "_Dear_. You called me dear. You must be exsapr-exarserb-you must be irritated with me."

"I'm not irritated," I laughed. "I'm just wondering if you want to stay the night here now."

Her eyes widened as she shook her head quickly. "No! No. I wanna go home with you. I wanna go have all the sex."

Rose and Alice howled on the bed, falling on top of each other as my mom struggled to maintain her composure. Clearing her throat, she gestured to the door. "Well, it sounds like you have things to do. She only had a couple of shots; she's just a bit of a lightweight, apparently."

Bella didn't even catch my mother's innuendo, only addressing her last comment. "I didn't used to be. I used to be able to drink the boys under the table on the Rez. I dunno what happened."

"Rose and Alice happened," I answered, guiding her out of the room, waving goodbye over my shoulder to the rest of them. "Let's get you a water to take with, alright? How are you feeling? Do you think you might be sick?"

"Oh, Edward," she groaned, pulling away from me to get a bottle of water out of the fridge and grabbing a piece of pizza as well. "I had two shots and had the giggles. I'm not even drunk. I'm just…happy."

"Happy, huh?" I smiled, leaning against the counter, watching her eat, giving her time to sober up. "Do I even want to know what you four were cackling about back there?"

She shook her head, grinning. "No way."

I studied her closely, glad to see she wasn't swaying anymore and seemed calmer. "So…are you too _happy_ to stay awake in the car ride home?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, that fiery glint I recognized and craved shining in her eyes. "I don't know. Is there something to stay awake _for_?"

I heard the challenge in her words as they caused her desired effect. Stalking toward her, I smirked as I saw her eyes widen and her throat swallow. Taking her hand, I ran it down my chest, pushing it against the front of my jeans.

"Do you feel that?" I whispered. "Ever since you told me you wanted to go back to our house tonight alone, I've been walking around with _that_. At this rate, we'll be lucky to make it home before I bury myself inside of you. Is that enough of a reason to _stay awake_?"

Her breath had picked up, a flush spreading across her chest. "I think I'm wide awake now."

.

The car ride home was probably the longest one of my life. Bella didn't help matters by teasing me with her hands and soft kisses at stoplights. By the time I pulled in front of the house, I was ready to snap. Throwing the car into park, I immediately reached across the seat to kiss her. She moaned into my mouth as her hands began to roam, her body melting into mine the best the gear shift and the center console would allow. Finally growing sick of the awkward maneuvering, I wrenched myself back.

"Don't move," I ordered.

Running around to her side of the car, I pulled her out, not expecting her to grab me by my collar and kiss me again right then. Before I knew what was happening, her legs were wrapped around my waist as I pinned her against the car, my hands trying to find purchase inside of her coat. A car passing by honked loudly.

"Woo-hoo! Yeah!" Some idiot yelled out into the frigid night air, forcing me to remember our surroundings.

Not even taking a second to breathe, I didn't bother to set Bella back down on the ground as I walked up the steps to the brownstone, her kisses on my neck making unlocking the door really difficult in the best possible way. I finally got it open and went inside, pushing her against it to close it.

"Want you. Now," she gasped when I ground against her, desperate for relief.

"_Fuck_," I cursed, frustrated at how many layers of clothing separating us. Setting her back down on her feet, I kept kissing her as I walked us toward the stairs, pushing her coat off of her shoulders while she did the same to me. I lost my shirt and my belt next, followed by her sweater and boots. A trail of clothes leading to the stairs was left behind us as I kicked off my own shoes and socks. I wanted to take off her jeans, but I couldn't tear my hands away from her chest, feeling her breasts beneath my hands as if for the first time.

I bumped into a table, twisting us around to keep moving toward the stairs, almost crying with happiness when she pushed down my jeans and boxers in one sweep. I wrestled with them around my ankles momentarily, hopping a bit as I kept moving toward her. She continued to back away toward the stairs, smiling as she reached behind her back to unsnap her bra. She tossed it at me, reaching for the button on her jeans when I caught up with her. Pushing her hand away, I took over where her hand had left off.

"You're taking away all my fun, Beautiful. Are we really going to run up the stairs completely naked?"

She stood still as I pushed her jeans down, nipping at my neck. "I don't think we're going to make it up the stairs tonight, Edward," she whispered into my ear. She backed away, leaning against the wall as I knelt to pull her jeans off the rest of the way, my heart beating out of my chest in anticipation. I started to snake my hands up her legs to find her center and ready her, but she shook her head, pulling on my hands until I was standing again. "No. Please. I need you now."

If there was one thing I couldn't handle, it was when she begged me like that. It didn't hurt that she looking fucking amazing standing completely naked before me, the house completely silent except for us, still unlit and dark from our rush to undress each other.

I lifted her up by the waist, her legs wrapping around mine as I positioned myself and pushed into her, my eyes rolling back in my head as her slick heat took me in.

"_Jesus fucking Christ shit,_" I groaned incoherently. "This isn't going to be gentle, baby."

"_Oh my God,_" she moaned out as I pulled back and slammed into her again and again, feeding off the sound of her cries, the feel of her nails digging into my skin.

"You know what I want, baby. I need to hear you."

"_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,_" she chanted, progressively growing louder and louder. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."

"No way am I fucking stopping," I grunted, feeling the change inside of her as I found that spot, the one that made her completely lose it. "_Shiit, _I can feel you. Christ, you feel so good wrapped around me."

Her only response was to kiss me stupid while I swallowed her moans like air to a drowning man.

"Is this what you want? For me to fuck you just like this?" I ground out, my teeth clenched in an effort to not come right then and there, her lips and teeth unrelenting against any skin she could reach. Trying to calm myself, I changed the tempo, thrusting in and out of her deep and slow as her back slid up and down the wall. "Or do you want it like this? _Tell me, Isabella._"

"_God_," she whimpered, winding her fingers into my hair so tightly it hurt, sending spasms of pleasure straight to my groin. "Harder, please, harder!"

_Jesus_. I would break her back if I fucked her as hard as I wanted to right now. Slipping out of her for a painful minute, I pulled us away from the wall and sat on the stairs, leaning back and holding her so she was sitting on top of my thighs. She slid her wetness forward, not needing any encouragement from me to continue, tightening around me almost immediately.

"Oh my God," she cried. "Edward!"

She looked fucking radiant above me, her eyes closed and her head thrown back with one palm on top of my chest as the other clawed at the wall. When she came, I embraced her thin waist with my hands, sitting up to take control and moving her up and down my cock as she continued to clench around me. Her breaths were still choppy when she opened her eyes, looking straight into mine as she held my face in her hands, the atmosphere shifting instantly from desperate need to raw emotion.

"I love you," she moaned, tilting my face up to kiss me. I snaked my arms around her back, one hand fisted in her wild mess of waves and the other flat against her skin as I kept guiding her over me. There was no urgency in our movements as fucking morphed into love-making, the rush to find completion replaced by the connection humming between us, the connection I only had with her, would only ever have with her. Only she could bring me to my knees with a look, a smile, a kiss.

"I love you," I groaned as I spilled into her suddenly, the sensation making me almost dizzy. I clutched her sweaty body close to mine, trying to calm my breathing while she lightly scratched my scalp with her fingernails. "Mmm. I love you so much, Bella."

I held her there on the stairs for minutes, maybe hours, just relishing the uninterrupted closeness with her, the absence of rush or responsibility. She pulled back after a while, opening her eyes lazily as she smiled. "What would you have picked?"

I shook my head at her, really not able to keep up with the way her mind worked sometimes. "Picked for what?"

"If you won. What would you have picked for your prize?"

I grinned, standing with her in my arms. As I walked up the stairs, I answered her.

"Let me show you."

. . . . . .

BPOV

(November 28th)

"Go, go, go, go…_Yeeeeees_!" Emmett's shouts could be heard through the house and probably all throughout Queen Anne as he cheered his team on, the football game blaring as he, all the rest of the men and Rose watched the big Thanksgiving Day game.

"Now this is the hard part," Esme muttered. "Tearing the lot of them away from the TV long enough to come eat lunch. If there's one thing that competes against food with Emmett, it's sports."

I laughed, helping her and Alice set the last of the dinner dishes on the formal dining table. "I don't know how many Thanksgiving dinners I had with Charlie and Billy in front of the TV."

"Watch the master at work," she winked, grabbing a pumpkin pie off the table before walking out into the living room. Seconds later, she was followed by everyone, Emmett practically stalking her with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Edward kissed me briefly, looking around the room. "Where's Lily?"

"With my mom," I grimaced. "Something about 'preparing for the feast.'"

His eyebrows rose as he bit his lip, the same thing he always did when my mom did something especially strange. He was adjusting much better than I ever thought he would, I had to give him credit for that. But neither of us was prepared for Renee entering the dining room in a tan deerskin dress decorated with a beaded collar, Lily trailing behind her wearing her cornhusk necklace and dark feathers poking out of the top of her pigtails.

Esme almost dropped the dish in her hands as she took in Renee's appearance, her eyes wide.

"Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!" Renee beamed to the room. "Sorry if we're late. Lily was helping me prepare for the feast."

Everyone murmured their greetings back to her as they walked numbly to the table.

"Mom?" I questioned tentatively, not really sure I wanted to know the answer. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Oh, Bella! Did I not tell you, honey? On my last spiritual journey I spent some time with the Iroquois and I learned so much from them in regards to the tradition of Thanksgiving. I was so grateful for the Cullen's inclusion of us in their traditions, I wanted to contribute as well," she smiled sweetly.

There was a very real possibility I whimpered as Edward guided me to a seat between him and Lily. Everyone found a seat as Renee remained standing, her hands held before her.

"If you don't mind, Esme, I'd like to say the prayer."

Esme nodded absently, swallowing her glass of wine in one swallow.

Renee took a moment to compose herself, drawing her arms into her chest to 'gather her chi.' "Today we have gathered and we see that the cycles of life continue. We have been…" She continued on for several minutes, thanking the Earth Mother, the Waters, the Fish, the Plants…by the time she reached the Four Winds, I thought Emmett was going to dive into the turkey headfirst. Lily listened enraptured as my mother finished, giving her thanks to the Creator, motioning for everyone to speak in chorus with her as she said her last, "Now our minds are one."

Everyone waited with bated breath, trying to make sure that she was _really_ done before relaxing. When she sat, some of us clapped, I heard a couple of hushed 'Amens,' and I was pretty sure my dad wished Phil the best of luck in the future.

Carlisle was reaching for the carving knife when Esme cleared her throat, raising her eyebrow at him.

"I'd still like to do _our_ tradition, dear. Let's let everyone say what they're thankful for."

"Mom!" Emmett cried, looking close to tears as he gazed longingly at the food in front of him. "You're killing me here! It's the same every year. You and dad are thankful for the family and you want another grandbaby. Me and Rose work on it daily, trust me. Alice is thankful for Jasper and he's thankful for her. Rose is thankful for me and I'm really frickin' thankful for her, 'cause she had me sit Drew Brees on my Fantasy league today and start Peyton Manning instead and I just won a hundred bucks. Edward's thankful for Lily and Lily's thankful for everything on the planet. Please, Mother, I am _begging_ you…Feed me. Feed me before I die."

Esme stared blankly at him before gesturing to me.

"But you've forgotten about our newest members, dear. Shouldn't they get to express what they're thankful for?"

Charlie and I shook our heads in unison, neither of us wanting the attention. Renee smiled so sweetly, I began to wonder how I would be able to tell when she began losing her mind as she aged.

"I've already said my thanks, Esme. I don't want to keep Emmett from his food. He's a growing boy."

"Renee, I have always loved you," Emmett swore, his eyes serious and thankful.

Edward sighed next to me heavily as he saw his mother caving in to Emmett's puppy dog eyes, standing up and pushing his chair back slowly.

"Two minutes, Em. I have one more person to be thankful for this year."

Emmett glared at him until he turned his eyes to me, immediately softening. He smiled, grumbling good-naturedly. "Two minutes."

"Thanks," Edward sneered, rolling his eyes. He looked down to Charlie, Renee, and Phil, winked at Lily and rested his eyes on me.

"I'm as thankful as ever for my family, especially our newest members, Renee, Phil, and Charlie...but I don't have the right words to express my thanks for my Bella, she's the one that's good at that."

Everyone chuckled as I tried to sink into my seat. He gave me a playful wink before continuing, his eyes trained on me.

"I can never and will never be thankful for the circumstances that brought her into our lives, my life, Lily's life, but...because nothing can change the past, I can only say...I'm thankful for you, and I'll never stop. For your strength and your courage, your kindness and your compassion, your love and your light, and the fact you've deemed me worthy to receive even an inch of it.

"I'm thankful our family is finally complete," he finished, smiling and reaching over to brush Lily's cheek, giving me a quick kiss on the forehead before sitting down. As everyone began serving themselves, the last of his words reverberated in my head. I couldn't help but disagree slightly.

As far as he and I went, I was completely happy. We could stay as were forever and I would still be happy. But as I looked at Lily, it felt like there was something missing from us.

"Whatsa matter, Bella?"

_I don't want you to call me Bella anymore._

Plastering on a smile, I shook my head. "Not a thing, Little Thing."

Giggling, she returned to her carefully crafted mountain of mashed potatoes, a plan forming in my head to fix it. Soon.

.

After lunch, no one wanted to move as we sat in a tryptophan-induced coma, the leftovers taunting us to try for thirds. I probably could have slept at the table if Alice hadn't jumped up, clapping.

"Time to turn on the Christmas carols!"

She had to be kidding.

"Alice, it's still Thanksgiving. You don't start Christmas stuff until the day after Thanksgiving," I argued.

"Says who?" she scoffed. "The meal's over, it's time to start having Christmas fun. Besides, it's Lily's favorite holiday. She's in charge of decorating the cookies and gingerbread house."

"Ooh! I love the gingerbread house! Can we, Bella? Please?" Lily pled, her face full of excitement.

_Like I can say no to that face._

"Alright, kiddo," I grinned. "Lead the way."

She squealed, pulling me up from my chair and dragging me into the kitchen.

"So are we doing gingerbread house or cookies first?" I asked.

"Um…I think we should let the walls and stuff cook and then cook cookies," she said firmly.

"Let's get to work then," I nodded, pulling out bowls and ingredients for us to start. Some of the family filtered through to clean up dishes, some went off to take naps, and some, meaning Alice, began decorating the house with garland and mistletoe.

.

"Who made cookies?" Lily asked as she slathered icing on top of the cooled sugar cookies.

"Uh…we did, Silly Lily," I answered, shaking my head at her.

"No. I mean, who made the first cookies? How did they know? And why'd they make the rule you can't have 'em for breakfast?"

I blinked at her in shock a few times, trying to come up with an answer.

"I have no idea who made the first cookies. My guess is that somebody was experimenting, the same way you and I do when we're making a new recipe, and they got lucky with cookies. I'm pretty sure parents made the rule about no cookies for breakfast. We don't want our kids' teeth to fall out."

"But I love it when my teeth fall out!" she exclaimed, proudly pointing to her gap. "The tooth fairy gave me a dollar quarter!"

"Uh…right. But the tooth fairy only gives _dollar quarters_ for teeth that fall out from loose teeth. She, um, doesn't give money for cavity teeth," I explained awkwardly.

"_Ooohhh_," she marveled, nodding as if what I said made any sense at all. Her expression changed as she frowned thoughtfully. "How do you know?"

"Experience," I lied. "I had a tooth pulled once and tried to stick it under my pillow, but she wouldn't take it."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bella," she sighed sympathetically, patting my hand.

Esme wandered into the kitchen, smiling warmly with what looked like tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay, Esme?" I questioned, concerned.

"Oh, I'm fine, dear," she waved off. "Edward was looking for you."

"I've been in the kitchen all day. He knows that," I laughed. "Where is he?"

"I'm not sure. You might check outside," she gestured to the back yard, where sure enough Edward was sitting in the porch swing in the gazebo.

Confused, I wiped my hands of the icing and sprinkles and slipped on my coat, intent on figuring out what he was thinking. It was under twenty degrees outside.

"Hey," I called out as I made my way through the snow to him. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

"There you are," he smiled. "I wanted to show you something."

"O-kaaay," I drawled out slowly, walking into his embrace, letting him turn me to face the yard. We stood there in silence for a minute until I grew impatient. "Couldn't you have shown me snow from _inside_?"

He chuckled, kissing my head. "You don't think it's beautiful? Look around you, the trees in the background, a wide open yard all around. You should see it in spring. My mom's garden is blooming with her roses and the wildflowers sprout along the treeline."

"It _is_ beautiful," I conceded. "Let's come back and see it in the spring. When it's warm."

"That's fine," he replied nonchalantly. "I just wanted to show you the place where I'm getting married."

I burst out laughing in his arms. "Wow! Well, congratulations. When does this joyous occasion occur?"

He snorted into my hair, tightening his arms around me. "Spring, of course. I thought I made that clear."

I shook my head at him, leaning further into his chest. "Sounds like you've got this all planned out. You just need a fiancé."

He loosened his arms around me, turning me around to face him, holding my hand in his. His crooked smile in place, he snapped his fingers as if a sudden thought struck him.

"I knew I was forgetting something."

Keeping my hand in his, he went down on one knee as my heart tried to escape out of my chest. I was trapped in his gaze, his eyes full of love and hope.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you. I promise to love you, every part of you, for as long as you live and will let me. You've become everything to me, everything to Lily, and I know what I'm asking of you to take this next step. But I told you once I would wait until we were solid and sure and just _right_ to ask you. And I believe that time is now.

"Marry me, Bella."

Tears were streaming down my face as he watched me, unconcerned with my silence, because he already knew the answer.

"Stupid right," I mumbled, sniffling. His lips twitched, but he remained on his knee, my hand in his as he lightly rubbed over my _for now_ bare ring finger. Looking him straight in the eye, I tried to keep my voice as strong as I could due to my tears.

"Yes, Edward. I will marry you."

He stood immediately, hugging me tightly. When he pulled back, his eyes were the brightest green I'd ever seen them. "That was our first hug _engaged_," he whispered, in awe.

"We're about to kiss for the first time _engaged_," he breathed, his eyes dancing all over my face as if he were trying to memorize everything about this moment. I did the same, keeping my eyes open as he leaned in, not closing them until the last possible second when his lips met mine.

I lost touch with all reality as his lips moved against mine, something unbelievably amazing about kissing him with the knowledge that he was going to be my _husband_. I could have kissed him forever, trading control of our movements as we took turns possessing each other as intimately as I'd ever felt.

When we finally stopped for breath, I gasped as he did, our foreheads touching until something glittering on my finger distracted me. That had _not _been there before he kissed me. I would have noticed a diamond solitaire. I was sure of it.

"How?..."

He winked at me, that cocky, crooked smile in full force.

"Ninja. Stealth."

"Aww. Look. You just made your first bad joke. _Engaged_," I snarked, smirking as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I can think of something else I'd like to do for the first time _engaged_," he threatened playfully, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I shook my head at him in amused disbelief. "This has got to be the perviest proposal ever."

"Proposal's over, love. It's too late now. You said yes. You're stuck with me," he grinned proudly, lifting my hand to kiss my ring finger. He rubbed it absentmindedly, his eyes searching mine. "You're going to be my _wife_."

All the air rushed out of my lungs as I heard that word leave his lips for the first time. "You're going to be my husband. And…" I trailed off, saying the words in my head first before gathering the courage to say them aloud.

"What?" he asked, his eyes creased in concern.

I blinked back tears, smiling so wide my cheeks hurt. "And I need to go ask someone a very important question." I grabbed his hand to pull him toward the house, stomping through the snow as fast as possible. I could see Lily watching us through the window, sitting on the counter with Esme standing behind her and wiping tears away.

I burst through the door, releasing Edward's hand to walk over to Lily as Esme stepped away. Lily's eyes were wide, a little bit confused and a lot a bit hopeful. Blinking at her once, I waited for her to blink back before I picked her up off the counter to stand in front of me. I knelt down, holding her hands as her tiny little fingers played with my ring.

"Lily? Daddy just asked me to marry him," I whispered, waiting for her to take her eyes off the ring to look at me. "It's called a _proposal_."

"Pro-po-sal," she repeated back slowly, nodding.

"And I said yes," I continued, keeping her eyes locked on mine. "But I have a proposal, too. For you."

She looked confused, so I hurried on.

"Lily," I whispered, clearing my throat. In a stronger voice, I tried again. "Lily Autumn Cullen. I love you so much. I've loved you since the first minute I saw you and heard your laugh. I love you when you want ice cream for dinner and cookies for breakfast, when you smile at me and tell me you love me, when you scream at me and tell me I'm not your favorite person right now…You once asked me how I love you and I told you that I love you like a Bella loves her Little Thing…Can you ask me again?"

"What do you love me like?" she asked immediately, practically demanding.

I smiled a bit at her, trying to keep the tears at bay for just a few more seconds.

"I love you like a Mommy loves her daughter…Lily, my Little Thing, my giggle monster, my _daughter…_Will you please let me be your Mommy?"

"I don't have to wait until you get married?" she whispered hopefully. I shook my head once, my eyes wide as I waited for her answer. At that moment, nothing else existed in that room except for her and me.

"_Yeeeess_!" she squealed as she tackled me, sending us both to the ground, just like our first meeting. "You're my mommy! You're my mommy!"

Laughing, I pushed off the ground, standing with her in my arms. Edward was still standing where I'd left him, his eyes glassy and his chest heaving with emotion.

"C'mere," I smiled. "Come have our first family hug _engaged_."

He choked out a laugh, the action pushing a few tears out of his eyes. Crossing over to us in two strides, he wrapped his arms around us and squeezed the breath out of me in a hug comparable to Emmett. Laughing sobs escaped my chest until Lily made her protests known.

"Daddy. Leggo."

He loosened his hold around us slightly, enough for her to squiggle out of my arms.

"Do I get a ring, too?" she asked, her eyes trained on my hand in Edward's.

We both laughed, shaking our heads at her.

"Maybe we could get you a necklace," I bartered, thinking of my grandmother's locket in my jewelry box at home. She wrinkled her nose a bit, but nodded anyway, her expression slowly growing excited again.

"Now I get to tell everybody!" she shrieked, taking off for the kitchen door.

"Wait!" Esme cried out, freezing Lily in her tracks. "Dear, let's let _them_ tell everyone. Come, you and I will go join everybody in the living room and we'll act extra surprised."

"You knew," I said, eyeing her suspiciously and trying to hide my smile. "Before, when you came in here, you knew."

She beamed at me, walking over to stroke my cheek. "It was sort of necessary, given that you're wearing my mother's ring. And it looks beautiful on you."

I gasped, looking down at the ring, then back to her and then to Edward, who almost looked like he was blushing.

"Um…I kind of wanted to marry my Nana Lizzie when I was a little boy. She told me no, obviously, almost broke my heart, but…she said I could have her ring to give to the right girl one day when I found her…" he trailed off, looking down at the ring on my hand nostalgically, giving it a small kiss before raising his eyes to meet mine.

"You beautiful, beautiful man," I whispered, pushing onto my tiptoes to kiss him. I faintly registered Esme's voice saying…_something_…but I was too wrapped up in him to understand it. His arms were around me like a steel cage, almost crushing me to him. As our kiss slowed to small pecks in between gasps for air, I couldn't help but smile. "I'm so glad Nana Lizzie turned you down. I would have missed the chance to become Mrs. Cullen."

In a flash he had me up on the counter, his hands woven into my hair as he gazed at me with fire in his eyes. "Mrs. Cullen," he whispered in awe. "That sounds so fucking amazing."

I knew that look in his eye. It was the look he got when I came out of the shower in nothing but a towel. It was the look he got when he caught me dancing in the kitchen. That look led to many, many good things, none of which could happen right now. Not in a house full of people that we had news to tell.

"Well…" I began, looking away in thought. "I _might_ actually just hyphenate. Or maybe _you_ could hyphenate. Or maybe we could just hyphenate the kids'-"

I was cut off by his growl against my lips as he consumed my mouth, my plan to make him laugh completely backfiring as he set my body ablaze with his roaming hands. Every whimper of protest I gave to try and pull away was only met with more pressure, more domination.

"Edward," I panted, muffled by his lips. "Your fami-"

"Dr. and Mrs. _Cullen,_" he said forcefully, his eyes full of light and happiness. "And you're not hyphenating the kids' names. I'm not putting our children through twelve years of role-call hell."

I smiled, nodding thoughtfully. "Bella Cullen. I guess I could get used to it…Just out of curiosity, how many children are we not putting through twelve years of role-call hell?"

He framed my face with his hands, rubbing his thumb on my bottom lip. "If we never have another child that's fine. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about at least one more. After my residency's up, after we've had a little bit of time to enjoy just being married to each other, practice _a lot_ in the meantime…"

"Perv," I laughed. "But I think that sounds like a great plan…Are you ready?"

"Are you?" he countered. "Ten bucks says Alice already has our wedding planned."

"Well, that's not fair," I sniffed. "You just backed me into a corner to lose ten bucks."

Grinning, he stepped back, picking me up by the waist off the counter to set me on my feet. Sighing heavily, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"We're going to wish we'd worn earplugs," he muttered under his breath as we walked down the hall.

Everyone was lazing about, the TV humming in the background. Esme had Lily pinned to her lap, trying to keep her from sliding off as she vibrated with excitement. As soon as she saw us in the doorway, she screamed out, "Daddy and Mommy are getting married!"

_Oh, he was so right about those earplugs._

"Oh my God! I'll bring your notebook tomorrow. It has everything you need," Alice sang, running over to give us a hug. I elbowed Edward as he motioned for money with his hand, shaking my head at Alice's questioning look. Rose hugged Edward and me quickly before stepping aside for Esme ane Renee, who were squealing something awful. Carlisle's smiling face was the last thing I saw before I was swooped up by Emmett. I was dizzy by the time Emmett stopped swinging me around, only to be passed to Jasper for a very un-Jasper-like hug of the same fashion. I hadn't realized I had been passed down a line of sorts until I was dropped right in front of Charlie, clinging to his arms as I waited for the room to stop spinning.

"You okay there, Bells?" he asked amusedly as he patted my back.

I stood up straight and nodded, smiling brightly at him. "I'm perfect, Dad."

"You always have been," he swallowed thickly. "Glad you found a man that knows it."

"Dad…" I shook my head, blushing. I was a long way off from perfect.

"Don't argue with your old man," he said sternly, his mustache twitching in amusement.

"Whatever you say, Chief," I saluted him, turning toward the sound of Lily's continuing squeals. Edward had picked her up and she was _still _bouncing in his arms. Laughing, he gave up trying to hold her and she hopped her way over to me.

"Mommy…Mommy…Mommy," she punctuated each jump.

"Lily…Lily…Lily," I hopped right back, meeting her halfway before we crashed onto the couch together.

"I'm so excited," she grinned, turned sideways like I was to face me head on. "When are we going to get married?"

"In the springtime," I smiled back. "We're going to get married in the backyard here. Will you be my flower girl?"

Her eyes widened to saucers as she nodded emphatically. "I always wanted to be in a wedding!"

"You're going to be in a wedding?" Edward asked, feigning surprise as he slid onto the couch behind me. "Whose wedding?"

"Mine!" Lily cried out happily, making us both laugh.

I hummed as Edward wrapped an arm around my waist, his other hand reached out for Lily. The noise around us slowly faded away and I peeked over the back of the couch to see Esme slowly guiding everyone out, winking at me once before closing the door. I settled more against Edward's chest as I watched the fireplace fizzle and crackle, trying to wrap my head around the craziness of the day. How we'd come to this point, against so many odds and overcome them all. Things would never be completely easy and simple, just as they weren't now, but they were as close to perfect as I'd ever need.

As I listened to Lily chatter away about the wedding and babies and ponies carrying rings, I squeezed Edward's arm around my middle, smiling when I felt him kiss my hair absentmindedly as he nodded and shook his head to Lily's ramblings. After all this time, after everything that had happened, here I was.

_Because this…this is my life._

The End

**Monster A/N: Thank you for reading my story. I've never had the courage to try and write anything before and all 13,000 reviews I received up until this point have given me the encouragement to continue, even the mean ones. Thank you to everyone who embraced and enjoyed the story.**

**EdwardsBloodType: Thank you for pushing me to explore the plot bunny in my head and put it down in writing. Thank you for beta'ing for me for as long as you did, through some monster chapters.**

**Bellamarie117: Thank you for taking over and doing an **_**amazing**_** job combing through my words and helping them to make sense. I loved your comments most of all, which sometimes made me laugh and sometimes made me cry (in a totally good way). And for not killing me when I sent you 10k word chapters on Saturday nights.  
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**Fantasy Mother: You've become a very good friend and I appreciate your opinions, thoughts, brainstorms, criticisms, and distractions when I want to do anything but pictures of RP aren't too bad either. Are you packed yet?  
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**Songster: Thank you for all your professional advice throughout the story. You were so generous with your time and thorough in your answers. I had fun chatting with you in between times, too.**

**D Pattinson: See ^. :-) You were always so helpful, even when I sent you a question in the wee hours of the night. Thank you for all your help.**

**Monamour: Thanks for all the hard work you put into making the FGB auction a success. Your organization and efforts made it all happen. To everyone who bid, you raised over a thousand dollars for children's cancer research with Team Isakassees. Thank you all for your generosity.**

**Thanks to SparklingTwilight and ms_ambrosia for the banners they made for the story. Jersey, if I could figure out how to download the fucking thing onto my computer, I'd totally be using it, I swear. **

**Again, to all my readers, thank you. You'll note that I'm not marking this story 'complete' yet, and that's because I've got a two-part epilogue still to come. The first part will be up in two weeks, the second…I'm not sure, probably about a week after that. **

**I appreciate your patience for the epis. School's out, baby's crawling…you get the idea.**


	36. Epilogue Pt 1

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Thanks to Fantasy Mother for prereading through every step of this with me. Bellamarie117 is the bestest beta in the world. And you can all thank aleighy for getting me on twitter finally. You can follow me isa_kassees**

Epilogue: Happy Perfect Day

(December 24th)

EPOV

"Are you okay, love?" I asked Bella, placing my hand over her knee to halt her bouncing.

She giggled, albeit a little hysterically. "Oh, yes. I'm perfectly fine. Wouldn't you be? If you were waiting to get on a plane to fly cross-country, but your flight was delayed because of too much snow and fog and ice to safely leave the runway, so you were waiting, left thinking about how in a few short moments you will have to enter a giant hunk of metal full of potentially short-circuiting wires and engines full of possible loose screws and giant metal wings that actually bend when the wind is too strong, which is ridiculous given how strong they supposedly are supposed to be, and you don't understand how it physically even lifts off the ground, let alone flies in the air, to fly through _more_ snow and ice and fog and your amazingly wonderful fiancé didn't think to buy tickets for coach, when everyone knows that's the closest to the little black box, which is the _only_ thing that ever survives a plane crash and instead you will be at the front of the plane, as far away as possible from that little black box that would save your life, but it doesn't really matter, because at this rate, we'll never even survive lift-off."

I blinked in shock at her for a moment before I was able to recover my ability to speak. That had to be the longest sentence I had ever heard Bella spit out. "Bella," I soothed, putting an arm around her shoulders to try and calm her and ignore every one of the reasons she just gave for our apparent last moments alive. "You've heard the statistics before. You're more likely to get in a car crash than get in a plane crash."

"Oh, yeah?" she hissed. "Now tell me the statistics for how many people have survived a plane crash versus a car crash."

"Damn, B, didn't know you were afraid of flying," Emmett laughed loudly, somehow not waking Jasper up beside him in the chair. "We could've taken a boat around South America if it would've made you feel better."

"Do _not_ get me started about the misconceptions regarding the safety of cruise ships, Emmett," she snapped, making Charlie absolutely lose it.

"Bells," he laughed. "It was just a movie."

"A very convincing movie, Charlie," she huffed. "And I wouldn't laugh if I were you. The dad's the one that dies."

Emmett and I were completely confused and Charlie noticed. "_The Poseidon Adventure_. She saw it on TV when she was a kid and has never lived down her fear of cruise ships."

I turned to her, caught between wanting to make her feel better and laugh myself. "But what brought on this sudden fear of flying? You never mentioned it."

She scoffed. "Right. Like I was going to scare the hell out of my baby by discussing the inevitability of my imminent demise."

"So, if I go and get her out of that Starbucks and bring her back over here you'll calm down?" I asked hopefully, because I was about five seconds away from slipping her a Xanax.

My dad was apparently on the same wavelength as me. "Bella, would you like to take something for the anxiety? It's very common for people to need something to help them on flights."

"This is me _on _something, Carlisle! I took it before we even left the house today," she replied quickly, not taking her eyes of the snow falling outside the windows at Sea-Tac.

My humor was lost as I saw my girl _really_ struggle with this fear. Short of calling the hospital and asking for another week off and then driving her cross-country, I was going to have to find a way to make this better for her. Standing up, I held my hand out for her. "C'mon, love. Let's go take a walk…Dad, I've got my phone on me. Call us when they start boarding or if Lily needs anything."

He smiled, nodding. "I'll call you when we board. Your mother, Rose, and Alice have her surrounded in an impenetrable circle right now at that Starbucks. They'll keep pumping her up full of muffins and hot chocolate until the time comes to board. She won't even know you're gone."

I glanced at her in the coffee shop behind us as she sat basking in all the attention being bestowed upon her by her aunts and grandmother. They were huddled protectively around her, eyeing every single person walking in and out of the store. Bella slipped her hand into mine and I pulled her up, guiding her with my hand at the small of her back down a few gates. I found an empty one and walked us toward it.

"Bella," I began slowly, trying to keep my tone soothing and not accusatory. "Why didn't you talk to me about this? I had no idea you were afraid of flying."

"I don't know," she sighed heavily. "You've been so busy with work to get this time off and I've been wrapping up the final edits on my book and the whole family's been so busy with planning the trip that I just wanted to try and get over it. And I've done such a good job distracting myself with all the plans and the presents and Lily and we were trying to get that house until somebody just _swooped _in and bought it right out from under us that I just didn't know it would be this bad. But this weather, Edward…" she trailed off, shuddering and I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms around her.

"It's not just the flying," she continued, speaking softly into my shirt. I could barely hear her over the din of security driving by in carts and people talking too loudly on their cell phones, so I steered us a bit further into the empty gate, into a quiet and secluded corner.

"Tell me, love," I coaxed, rubbing my hands up and down her back.

"It's the whole trip _thing_. I watched this thing on the Travel Channel and it was showing Disneyworld at Christmas. It's packed, Edward. Completely packed. There are going to be people everywhere and I was two clicks away from buying a leash for Lily on the Internet before I calmed down. But I haven't really. All I can think about it is all those people and how excited and hard to control she's going to be and how I don't want to ruin that for her by handcuffing her to my wrist, but I don't know how I'm going to do this," she sniffled, her nails scraping gently against my back as she clung to me.

"Baby," I sighed, leaning her back slightly. "Don't you think I've been worried about it, too? But we've talked about this. She's got her phone, that alarm bracelet, we've got walkie talkies, and we're not letting her out of our sight. The ratio is ten adults to one Lily and one Emmett. This trip is to celebrate how far we've come. We've _all_ earned this, to watch her have this perfect day. And it will be, if you let it."

She nodded slowly, the worry around her eyes loosening slightly. "I'm sorry. It _will_ be perfect. I won't ruin it by worrying."

"Bella," I chuckled, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck. "You're her _mother_. Worrying about losing your hyperactive five year old is normal. I told you, I'm worried, too. You're not going to ruin anything. It will be perfect even when we're both watching her like a hawk during all four days of gruesome Disney torture."

"Edward!" she gasped. "Will you stop calling it torture? It's going to be fun."

I smiled smugly as her gasp turned into a faint moan when I pushed her hair off of her neck and bit it lightly. "Coming from the woman who's never had to sit through the _It's a Small World_ ride. The pain carried over from childhood and still haunts me now."

"It's going to be fun," she repeated weakly as she melted into me while I kissed up and down her neck.

"Uh…no, it's not. It will be fun to watch Lily enjoy herself. It will be fun to watch Emmett wear his Goofy hat and act like a moron," I said as I pressed against her more firmly, effectively pinning her against the large window looking out over the runway. Dropping my voice to a whisper, I continued. "It will be fun to have crazy hotel sex with you tonight while Lily sleeps with my parents. It will _not_ be fun to watch robotic demonic dwarves sing the same chorus a hundred times in obnoxiously nasal voices."

"What was that about crazy hotel sex?" she squeaked as I slowly moved my kisses across her throat to the other side of her neck.

"Wait and see," I murmured, licking a hot trail up to right beneath her ear.

"Edward?" she hummed softly.

"Yeah?"

"You're better than Xanax," she murmured before pushing up on her toes.

I chuckled lightly as I met her halfway, amazed that even after all the kisses I'd shared with her, she could still send a jolt straight to my heart with a simple touch of the lips. But there was never anything simple when it came to my Bella. As well as I knew her body, her expressions, her mannerisms; her mind continued to surprise me on a daily basis, her reaction to the flight and trip a glaring example.

A buzzing in my pocket pulled me away from her, an adorable pout playing on her lips as she tried to bring me back for more.

"My phone, baby," I whispered. "I think the plane is boarding."

A quick glance down at the screen confirmed it and she sighed resignedly.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked concernedly, rubbing her arms with my hands.

She nodded with a reassuring smile, intertwining her hands in mine with a squeeze. We walked back to our gate and gathered our things as Lily began directing traffic.

"Daddy! Mommy! You have to sit by me! I want the window! We gotta hurry! We can't miss it!" she hopped up and down on each word and I could only hope she fell asleep sometime during the six hour flight.

As the family made their way down the walkway to the plane, Lily popped up between Bella and me.

"Daddy? Is it true that if I jump in the airplane I can make it shake?" she asked innocently.

I groaned as I felt Bella's hand tighten in mine, her face giving nothing away of her anxiety so as not to frighten Lily.

"No, Lily," I sighed. "Where did you hear that?"

"Uncle Emmie," she replied sweetly.

"Rose," Bella called out in a bored tone.

"Got it," Rose answered.

"Ow! Dammit, Rosie!"

"Emmett! Language."

.

"Oooh. I can hear it, I can hear it," Lily bounced excitedly as the planes engines roared to life and Bella squeezed the life out of my hand.

"Ya know, Bells, you'd think after all those planes you flew on as a kid back and forth between me and your mom, you'd be used to flyin' by now," Charlie called out over his shoulder as he took a seat in the row before us.

I barely caught Bella's wince as he said it and I turned her face to mine immediately. I didn't even have to ask, I could see the pain in her eyes. Images of a scared little brown-haired girl flying for hours alone flashed through my mind and I had to resist the urge to unbuckle her seatbelt and pull her into my lap. Laying her head down on my shoulder, I kept one hand in Lily's bouncing lap and the other squeezing Bella's as tightly as I dared.

"Close your eyes for me, Beautiful," I whispered softly into her hair, kissing her head gently before laying mine on hers. "When I was eight, Alice caught me sneaking ice cream in the middle of the night and she threatened to tell my mom if I didn't…" I wasn't as good at telling stories as Bella was, but I hoped if she could just focus on my voice and my touch, she might not realize the plane had begun moving down the runway. I lifted our hands to her chest to feel her heartbeat as I embarrassed the hell out of myself telling her about the time I let Alice dress me up like a girl so she wouldn't tattle on me to my mom. "…but the makeup was burning my eyes so bad, I ran screaming to Mom and tattled on myself just to get her to help me get it off."

Bella's head shaking under mine made me lift it up, only for her to double over in her seat in barely contained laughter.

"Edward…" she gasped out, covering her mouth with her hand to not bother the other passengers. "You let her name you…_Claudia_? And you answered to it the whole tea party?"

"Oooh, Edward," Alice's smug grinning face popped up over the seat in front of me. "Are you telling Bella about the time I made you my bitch?"

"Mary Alice!" Mom scolded from across the aisle, shocked.

"Mom," she said plainly. "He was."

"Alice," Bella giggled out, just barely. It wasn't _that_ funny. "Put your seatbelt on. That stewardess looks like she's beaten down some rule-breakers in her day."

Alice looked the middle-aged woman standing near the cockpit up and down and scoffed. "Whatever. I could totally take her. Besides, we can move around now, Bella. We've been flying for over twenty minutes."

Bella looked at me shocked, her amusement forgotten. "Edward…"

Still a little sore about all her laughing, I huffed at her. "Yeah, you're welcome. But the first time you call me Claudia, I'm throwing away your copy of Wuthering Heights."

She tried to suck in her smile repentantly, but her laughter still shone in her eyes. "Thank you, Edward. Really."

I rolled my eyes as Lily reached across to grab Bella's attention. "Mommy, look! I think I see our house!"

Leaning across me, Bella looked out the window and gasped. "Wow, Lily. I think you're right." She glanced up at me and tried not to notice my growing smile. She knew I couldn't really be mad.

_I am so whipped._

.

Lily never did end up taking a nap on the flight, but we made it without incident, landing smoothly in the Orlando airport and trading our snow for sunshine.

"It looks so _warm_ here," Lily gushed. "And, look! A palm tree!"

"You're going to see lots of those," Bella laughed, taking off her sweater and stuffing it into her giant purse. "Here, sweetie, give me your sweater."

Lily pulled it over her head and handed it absentmindedly behind her to Bella, her nose still stuck to the airplane window.

"C'mon, Lily," I urged. "It's our turn to go."

We de-boarded the plane and picked up our luggage without too much trouble, except for Alice and Rose, who each brought enough clothes for five people. As we walked toward the exit, I looked down at the _one_ suitcase Bella was pulling behind her and sighed happily as I heard Emmett and Jasper struggle with their luggage carts.

Renee and Phil were waiting for us right outside the airport exit and I almost did a double take when I saw her. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Fifteen strands of painted wooden beads and an armcuff, but shorts. And a t-shirt. She looked halfway normal. I felt a finger under my chin close my mouth with a snap.

I turned to find Bella snickering at me under her breath.

"Renee was in full healing mode when you saw her before. She doesn't _always_ look like a freak," Bella smiled, turning back to her mother just in time to be swept up in a huge hug.

"Oh, Bella, honey! How was the flight? We were so worried you were going to get snowed in!" Renee worried, moving from Bella to me for a warm welcoming hug. "Edward, we're so excited you're here! Your cards show nothing but happiness this trip."

_There she is_.

I hugged her back tightly, because I'd actually missed the crazy bird. "Thanks for checking, Renee."

She beamed back at me brightly before crouching down to Lily's height. "Hello, there, Miss. Have you seen my granddaughter Lily?"

"Nana! It's me!"

"What?" she gasped. "But you're so…big! How did you get so big?"

"I eat my vegetables and I take my naps and I get lots of exercise jumping," Lily informed her matter-of-factly.

"Are you ready to go to the hotel, big girl?" Renee asked as she picked Lily up and began carrying her and her suitcase to the shuttle waiting for us.

"I wanna go swimming!" Lily yelled excitedly.

"Nap first," Bella and I groaned out in unison as we handed our suitcases over to the driver and settled inside the large van.

.

Three hours later I was awoken with a kick to the groin as Lily stirred in her sleep. Bella was curled around her, oblivious to my poor balls' brush with death. Biting my hand to keep in my groan, I calmed after a moment and sat up a bit to look over my girls. Lily had a long strand of Bella's hair wrapped tightly around her finger while Bella had her arm thrown across Lily, her hand scratching at the sheets. I slipped mine into hers and she relaxed immediately, sighing happily.

"_Edward._"

My thumb immediately ran over her ring finger, spinning the diamond around a bit. I knew when she woke up she'd be embarrassed, because she hated when I watched her sleep, but I couldn't help it. She was so beautiful when she slept. The little secrets she'd let slip through her subconscious and pass her lips, the way she sought my touch in her slumber, the way she relaxed and smiled when she found it, it was too enchanting _not_ to watch. As if she could sense my eyes on her, she stretched a bit, her eyes slowly fluttering open. As predicted, her cheeks blushed immediately.

"Edward," she groaned sleepily. "You know I think that's creepy."

"It was only a couple of minutes this time, I swear," I grinned unashamedly.

"Mm-hm," she hummed, not believing me for a second. "Well, quit it. I want to go back to sleep."

"Baby, we can't," I argued, much to her indignation. "It's technically dinner time. We need to meet everybody downstairs to eat in less than an hour."

"I hate time zones," she mumbled into her pillow, turning her face away from me in protest. "I'm not hungry. I'll eat tomorrow."

Lily stirred and slowly woke at the sound of our voices, releasing Bella's hair and blinking up at me sleepily.

"Daddy? What's going on?"

"I need your help, Lily," I grinned.

"Don't do it," Bella's voice warned, muffled in the pillow.

"We have to get Mommy up," I continued, ignoring her. "Are you ready?"

"I said, _don't do it_," Bella warned again, definitely awake but letting me have my fun. Lily nodded and I counted silently on my fingers, both of us attacking on three.

"Stop! Stop!" Bella laughed as we tickled her without mercy.

"Are you gonna get up?" Lily threatened, still crawling her fingers all over Bella's sides as I lay across her legs and tickled her feet.

"Yes! Yes!" Bella gasped out. "I'll get up. Edward, stop!"

We both sat back and looked at her, grinning as she practically fell off the bed to get away from us. Bella glared at me before smiling down at Lily.

"Come with me, Little Thing. Let's get you cleaned up to go to dinner. Daddy will unpack for us while we get ready." She ushered Lily into the bathroom and stuck her tongue out at me before closing them inside.

"Daddy will do what?" I called out, sinking back into the mattress.

"You heard me, Cullen!" she called back. "Get to it!"

_I am so whipped_.

.

A little less than an hour later, we were downstairs in the lobby as our family slowly trickled out of the elevators. Lily wore her Ariel wedding dress and was tapping her light-up shoes impatiently against the floor as she waited for everyone to convene.

"Why is nobody else dressed up? I'm gonna look ridiculous!" she protested hotly as we began making our way through the large resort.

"Lily, do you trust me?" I asked her, slipping my hand into hers.

"Not with clothes," she retorted, making Bella choke back a laugh.

"Lily," I repeated, seriously.

"Yes, Daddy," she sighed, continuing to walk toward the restaurant. When we reached 1900 Park Fare, she stopped dead in her tracks with her mouth hanging open.

"Daddy," she whispered, shocked.

"Yeah, baby?" I asked, crouching down and trying to keep from smiling.

"That's Cinderella," she whispered, pointing at the princess walking about the restaurant.

"Oh, her?" I remarked nonchalantly. "Did…did you want to meet her?"

If possible, her eyes grew even larger as she nodded her head furiously up and down.

Laughing, Bella and I both tugged a hand forward. "Well, c'mon then."

She didn't take much encouragement. Once she started moving, we had to work to keep her from taking off in a sprint. We were shown to a table and it took all my strength to keep Lily seated as Bella excused herself for a moment. When she returned, we took Lily over to where Cinderella was, now standing a few feet away from the buffet.

By some miracle, Lily didn't tackle the poor woman right away, just stopped within a foot of her and stared like she was afraid if she touched the princess she'd disappear.

"Are you really Cinderella?" she whispered.

The actress caught Bella's eye and winked once before kneeling down gracefully and smiling at Lily kindly. "Of course I am, Princess Ariel, you know that."

Lily gasped as my jaw dropped, and I turned to see Bella fighting a smile. I squeezed her hand and her smile broke free as she shrugged her shoulders. I should have known she would find a way to make sure she kept her promise of Lily being confused as a princess.

"I…I…my name is…I…Lily."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" the woman gasped, her hand flying to her cheek in embarrassment. "You're just so lovely I mistook you for my friend Ariel. I'm so glad you came to visit me Princess Lily."

"Will you come eat dinner with me?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Oh my goodness, you're so sweet to invite me," the woman smiled, patting Lily's cheek. "But I'm afraid the prince is waiting for me at the ball and I have to meet him or-"

"Or he'll think you're not coming and he'll have to go look for you!" Lily finished for her, too lost in the fairytale to be disappointed. "Will I see you again?"

"Will you be at the Christmas parade tomorrow?"

Lily looked up at me and I nodded in return, her bright smile the actress's answer.

"Then you'll see me ride in my carriage tomorrow. I'll be waving to you, Princess Lily. I've got to be going now-"

"Oh!" Bella gasped, rummaging around in her giant bag for…_something._ How she ever found anything in there was beyond me. Keys, phone, wallet, makeup, coloring books, the thing was packed. "Aha!" she emerged victorious with a camera and held it up, smiling at the actress.

"Let's get a hug for a picture, Princess Lily," the actress smiled sweetly, pulling Lily's hand toward her to wrap an arm around her. Lily and Cinderella beamed brightly for the camera while Bella snapped the picture quickly. She kissed Lily's hand once before standing and waving goodbye graciously and sweeping away.

Lily wandered dreamily back to the table where everyone was watching the interaction, my mother of course snapping photos of the whole thing. As Bella and I walked back behind her, I wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Did I ever tell you that when Lily first told me about Disneyworld, I threatened to punch Prince Eric if he tried to kiss her?" I asked lowly so Lily couldn't hear us.

Bella burst out laughing, bringing her arm around me as well. "You would _not_. It would be adorable. It's just too bad that Ariel doesn't seem to work this restaurant, but Cinderella was able to serve her purpose."

"Did you pay her?"

"No!" Bella laughed, shaking her head. "I just asked her. Something tells me I'm not the first to do it, either."

Looking around the restaurant at the many families, the dressed up little girls stood out pretty clearly. "No, I imagine not."

.

After dinner, we walked around the resort for a while, letting Lily and Emmett take pictures with the various characters walking about. When everyone started complaining about their feet hurting, we decided to head back up to our rooms. I was so busy daydreaming of all the positions and places I wanted to have Bella in tonight that I completely zoned out on the conversation around me until Bella nudged me in the ribs.

"Edward. Did you hear Lily?"

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as I looked down at her.

"I'm sorry. What is it, baby?"

"I _said_ I changed my mind. I don't wanna sleepover with Nana. I wanna sleep with you and Mommy," she huffed, obviously irritated. "And you never told me how Santa is gonna give me my presents without a chimney."

"Um…the balcony. We'll leave the door open," I blurted out. "And of course you can sleep with us, Lily. What made you change your mind?"

"Because."

I nodded. As good a reason as any. It didn't hit me until we were back inside our room and Lily was changing in the bathroom what that meant for my plans.

"What about crazy hotel sex?" I whined, throwing myself pathetically onto the bed and looking at Bella's soft body as she changed. Watching her slip my shirt over her head made me groan into the pillow as I willed my dick down.

"I know," she sighed, climbing into bed next to me. "But we'll be here all week. We can make it two days, can't we?"

"Two days!" I exclaimed, my head flying up.

"Tomorrow's the girl sleepover, remember?" she grimaced, probably dreading the makeover to come.

"Oh no. Hell no. You keep your phone on you tomorrow night. And be ready," I demanded, a plan forming in my head.

"Be ready for what?" she asked, bewildered.

I shook my head, leaning over to give her what I meant to be a quick kiss, but as always, it turned to more. Lily opening the bathroom door snapped me out of it, making me groan as I realized my problem had returned.

"I'm all done. Can we read a story before bed?"

"Mommy will start it while Daddy takes a quick shower," I got out through gritted teeth. "A very _cold_, quick shower."

I shut the bathroom door behind me, Bella's muffled laughter ringing through it and Lily's curious voice.

"Daddy is so weird sometimes."

.

Bella and I waited until Lily was snoring before we slowly rose out of bed, retrieving our presents for her out of our luggage. Bella pulled out a long tube of paper and began unrolling it, a smile spreading across my face as I watched her. She had a Christmas tree cutout of construction paper that she and Lily had obviously decorated. I watched as she stuck it to the wall next to the balcony, the idea giving me one of my own. Running into the bathroom, I grabbed a glass and the plate underneath the coffee to set by the balcony door.

Bella gave me a curious look.

"Milk and cookies," I whispered. She grinned, nodding in agreement as she rose to grab the presents. She returned with two for Lily and one for me. "Where have you been hiding that? I looked everywhere."

"Shh," she laughed quietly. "I'll never tell. And if I catch you in the middle of the night trying to open it, I'll take it back."

"I'll be good," I grinned, lying through my teeth.

"I mean it, Edward," she protested in a hushed voice. "It took me forever to figure out what to get you. And I'm still not sure you're even going to like it. So you'd better fake it or I'll cry."

"Love," I chuckled silently, pulling her away from her present arranging into my lap. Leaning against the glass door, I wrapped my arms around her. "You know I'm going to love whatever it is. No faking required…Will that sticky stuff hold up stockings?"

"No. I think we might need to actually tack them to the walls," she answered softly, making no move to rise and get them.

"Trash the hotel room. Awesome. Didn't know you had it in you, Swan."

She lifted her head off my shoulder with a sly smile. "I live to be a rebel. I might even steal the bathrobe…You know, you're going to have to get used to not calling me Swan. Pretty soon we'll just be yelling Cullen back and forth to each other."

I grinned. "I cannot _wait_, Mrs. Almost-Cullen."

"I'm still not a hundred percent sold on that name changing thing," she joked, giggling softly as I shoved her off my lap in mock annoyance. She laid down in front of our paper Christmas tree and I slid toward her.

"March twentieth at two o'clock, you become Mrs. _Cullen_," I whispered, covering her body with mine as I looked down at her. Pecking her face with kisses, I made sure to get every freckle. "All mine. Forever."

She nodded, still trying to keep from laughing out loud. "If I don't kill your sister before then, yes."

Groaning softly, I lifted my head up. "Is she being really bad?"

"No," she sighed. "She's been good about understanding it's about _us_, not her. She just gets so into it sometimes, I want to run off in the night to Vegas. Making my dress has been a good deterrent for her hyperactivity."

"What does it look like?" I breathed, images of her walking toward me in white flying through my mind.

"Well…" she began, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "It's…white. That's all you get."

"Should've known," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You ready to finish this up, Mrs. Claus?"

"One more kiss."

Smirking, I stood up and offered her my hand to pull her up. Wrapping my arms around her, my hand slid up her back to cradle her face as I leaned down to kiss her, smiling against her lips as I felt her push up onto her tiptoes to press back.

We got the stockings up quickly, tacking them vertically down the wall next to the 'tree' and filling them with candy and a couple of little presents for Lily.

"I'm not really tired yet," Bella remarked after we were finished. "I think I'm going to get some fresh air for a minute before bed."

"Want some company?" I smiled as she grabbed the iPod dock off the table and slipped through the open door.

"I was hoping for some," she supplied over her shoulder. I followed after her quickly, a wide grin spreading on my face as the music began.

"I really love that you're a Beatles fan," I told her as _When I'm 64_ came over the speakers.

She bit her lip, pointing awkwardly behind her to the dock. "It's not very soothing for the middle of the night, is it? I can change it-"

Reaching out and grabbing her hand, I pulled her over to me, smiling and shaking my head. As I began to rock back and forth to the rhythm, I shushed her.

"This is perfect."

_Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four._

_You'll be older, too_

_And, if you say the word, I could stay with you._

"Last time we were on a balcony like this, I couldn't dance with you," I smiled. She smiled in return, resting her head against my chest as I shifted from foot to foot. We danced and talked and laughed until she began to yawn, both of us shuffling inside quietly to find a spot on either side of Lily, our hands locked together as we drifted off to sleep.

.

(Christmas Day, December 25th)

"He came! He came! He came!"

The bed moved with each shriek, bouncing me awake. My brain barely registered the bright digital display that clearly read six a.m. before I buried my head underneath my pillow.

"Make it stop," Bella groaned, stealing my pillow to cover her own head.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, ripping it back. "It's bad enough I have to freeze every night when you leave me three inches of bed to sleep on and steal the blankets. You will _not_ have my pillow, woman."

"It's Christmas!" Lily screeched above us, still jumping as she returned our attention to her.

"Lily," I tried fruitlessly. "It will still be Christmas in a couple of hours. Come lay down."

"Daddy, please? It's Perfect Day."

_That little, manipulative, pouting…_

"Ugh," I groaned, tossing my pillow to the ground. "Fine, Lily. You win. But _please _let Mommy and Daddy have some coffee first."

"Can I open my stocking while you cook your coffee?" she traded, already inching toward the wall where they hung.

"Mmph," I replied, rolling over and pushing Bella weakly. "Bella. We need coffee. You're closer to the machine."

She whimpered quietly, shaking her head with her eyes still stubbornly closed. "Go away."

"Mo-o-o-o-mmyyyyy!" Lily protested, resuming her jumping at the foot of the bed. "Pleeeeease! Santa brought me presents!"

"Alright," came Bella's tired sigh. Lifting her head up to check the time, she didn't even try to fight back a yawn. "Lily, when that clock says six-one-five, we will start opening presents. I'll start coffee for me and Daddy and wake up a little bit."

"Can I open my stocking?" Lily asked again, her eyes and tone pleading.

"If it's okay with Daddy," Bella mumbled as she rose to start the coffeepot before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Daddy?"

I stretched, my brain still on Pacific Time. "Yeah, okay, Lily. But get me Mommy's camera first so I can take pictures of you."

She agreed immediately, jumping off the bed and all but dumping the contents of Bella's purse onto the small table in the corner. She brought it to me in a rush, eager to get to her stocking. Lily was popping candies in her mouth and trying to unwrap her new Polly Pocket when I felt the bed sink in behind me, the smell of coffee already waking me up.

"Here," Bella murmured, handing me a steaming mug while sipping on her own. "So how did Santa do so far?"

Blowing into my mug, I grinned at Lily's excitement. "So far, so good."

"Can we open presents now?" Lily begged.

I turned to Bella who was frowning.

"I don't know…Should we wait and do it all together with the rest of the family, do you think?"

Sipping on my coffee, I tried to wake up enough to think it over.

"I think the family would understand. This is _our_ first Christmas altogether. Let's just have the three of us, okay?"

Bella smiled brightly and nodded, leaning over to give me a quick kiss, ignoring Lily's vomiting noises coming from by the tree. Pulling back with a sigh, I eyeballed Lily.

"You know, you don't get grossed out when your Disney princesses kiss. Why can't Mommy and Daddy kiss?"

She rolled her eyes, pulling her presents into her lap. "_Because_…you guys kiss _all_ the time. When I grow up I'm never gonna kiss like that."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear," I said solemnly, jerking my head away from Bella's flick at my ear. Lily inspected all the presents in front of the 'tree,' frowning as she did.

"Santa didn't bring you guys any presents," she said sadly.

"Santa doesn't bring presents for grownups," I said quickly. Bella smiled, scooting off the bed and finding a seat on the floor across from Lily. I slid off the bed and made myself comfortable in between them. Lily proudly gave me her gift as Bella slid hers over to my leg. "Remember what I said," she muttered under her breath, wiping away a fake tear.

I laughed, pulling them into my lap as I pushed Bella's toward her.

"You forgot your stockings!" Lily exclaimed, jumping up and ripping them off the wall with little grace. She dumped them out in front of us, which didn't really matter since I'd filled them the night before and knew it was just a bunch of candy. Until something hard fell right on top of my toe.

"Ow! Son-of-a-mmmm!" I cursed, gritting my teeth to keep from teaching Lily a slew of new words. "What is…?'

Picking up the offensive item, a smile spread across my face as I looked over the stethoscope. And not just any stethoscope. A Littman Electronic 4100. With Dr. Edward Cullen engraved on it. I glanced up at Bella who was grinning slyly at me.

"I guess maybe Santa does bring presents for grownups sometimes."

I shook my head at her, leaning over to give her a quick kiss, whispering, "Thank you," in her ear before sitting back to let Christmas begin.

"Can I go first?" Lily asked eagerly. We nodded and she tore into the package, tossing the bow and paper aside quickly. "A pillow pet! Yeeees! Santa _did_ get my letter!" She nuzzled her ladybug pillow against her face, humming happily.

"You've got two more, Lilybug," I pointed out, laughing as she opened her eyes and dropped the pillow to her lap to open the next present. She opened the box with a flourish, her eyes lighting up as she looked inside.

"Ballerina clothes? Does this mean…"

"You start lessons next month," Bella finished for her, smiling sweetly down at her.

"_Yeeeees_!" Lily shouted, pumping her fists into the air in a victory V. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

"You're welcome, Hyper," I laughed. "One more to go and then it's Mommy's turn."

She slipped on her new ballet shoes before opening the last one; her expression clouding into confusion as she picked up the photograph nestled inside the tissue paper.

Putting her out of her misery, I leaned over and pointed down at the picture. "That's your new keyboard. It's waiting for you in your room at home. So you can practice whenever you want to. We'll still do the lessons on the big piano downstairs, but I thought you might li-"

I was cut off as she jumped up and threw her arms around my neck. "My very own piano!"

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, squeezing her back tightly. "You're welcome, sweetheart. I love you, Lily."

"I love you too, Daddy," she grinned, pulling away and moving over to Bella. "Are you gonna take me to ballet, Mommy?"

Bella smiled and hugged her, nodding. "Sure am, Little Thing. I can't wait to see you dance around."

Lily pulled back after a moment and picked up two boxes off the floor, handing one to each of us.

"That's from me. Nana helped. Open it!"

Bella and I smiled at her and each other before tearing open the paper, each revealing a beautiful photograph of Lily in a frame decorated with some kind of noodles or beans or both.

"It goes on your table by the bed. I gave you the same one so you didn't fight over it," she explained seriously. "See? It says Mommy in beans on yours and Daddy in noodles on yours."

I ran my fingers over the frame, grinning and nodding. "This is perfect, Lily. Thank you."

"I love it," Bella added, beaming as well.

Taking a deep breath, I picked up the small box containing Bella's gift and handed it to her. "Alright. Your turn."

Bella took it with no hesitation, holding it up to her ear and shaking it a couple of times. Shaking my head at her, I motioned for her to hurry up. This could potentially either be mind-blowingly the most awesome gift ever, or just blow up in my face. Her fingers slid the ribbon off easily and she lifted the lid to reveal the keys inside. Her brow furrowed as she picked them up, squinting to read the small print engraved on the keychain. Her eyes widened and her face jerked up to look at me, her expression not giving me any clue if she was happy or not.

"But…I thought…it had the sold sign out front…" she stammered, her grip on the keys so tight her knuckles were white.

"Well," I scratched the back of my neck, really wishing she'd either just go ahead and scream at me or kiss me, preferably the latter. "Somebody _did_ try to outbid us, I just didn't tell you about the counteroffer I made to close the deal...You wanted that house so badly, I could tell you loved it…I couldn't let it get away."

She moved so fast she was a blur, tackling me with her arms around my neck in a move reminiscent of Lily.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," she murmured as she pecked my face all over with kisses, her own face wet with happy tears spilling out of her eyes.

"We're going to move to the new house that has the princess tower?" Lily exclaimed, somehow finding enough space to jump onto me as well, squeezing the life out of my ribs. "Can we get a new baby, too?"

I couldn't breathe, I was being squished from every direction, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I wrapped my arms around them the best I could. If someone had told me a year ago that this Christmas I would be celebrating the purchase of a family home with my almost-wife and mother to my daughter, I would have laughed in their face. Or possibly punched them for their cruelty. But here I was, holding my life in my arms as they smothered me with their affection.

"You girls make my life perfect, you know that?" I asked softly as they both nestled into respective crooks on either side of me. Bella lifted her head up, her eyes still glistening, making my own sting with the enormity of this day.

"We love you," she whispered, leaning forward a few inches to capture my lips in a chaste kiss that Lily didn't even protest for once.

"Oh, Daddy!" she yelled, jumping off of me. "You forgot to open Mommy's present!"

Bella sat up quickly, blushing immediately. "No, don't. I'll get you something else. Yours was too big…"

"Bella."

Her lips twitched, but she answered anyway. "Yes, Edward."

"Please shut up."

Surrendering the gift, she smiled and nodded. "Yes, Edward."

I shook it once obnoxiously, making her laugh. Right before I ripped off the paper, her hands flew over mine to still them. "Just…you know how we talked about how I can't change my penname? That's still the same, this is just…Crap, just open it."

I moved her hands back to her lap and patted them once patronizingly, making her shake her head and narrow her eyes at me in playful warning. Ripping off the paper, my eyes locked in on the cover of the book in my lap, something stirring deep inside me as I read it.

**Bound By Fate**

**Bella Cullen**

"Open it," she whispered, breaking my trance on the words in front of me. _My _Bella. With _my _name. With slightly shaking fingers, I opened the cover and flipped past the title and copyright page looking for something to jump out at me, since I had no idea what I was looking for. On the third page, I found it.

_To my life, my love, my heart, my husband, my friend, my Edward:_

_I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you_

_Always yours_

_Your Bella_

_And to my sweet Little Thing:_

_Whoever loved, that loved not at first sight?_

_Mommy loves you_

A drop of water hit the page, luckily missing the ink. I rubbed the paper softly, realizing the warm drop was a tear. Soft fingers moved under my eyes, making me look up to see Bella worrying her lip, awaiting my reaction. I was all out of words, none could come to mind to tell her how special I thought this was. A copy of her book printed only for me, dedicated to me, to our love, to our family. Pulling her over to me, I held the book tightly in my hand as I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair.

"I love you," I whispered, unable to speak any louder without my voice breaking. Her arms immediately came up around my neck, her whole body pressed into mine fitting perfectly.

"Ugh. You guys are about to get kissy, I just know it. I have to go potty," Lily announced, rising off the floor and wandering into the bathroom. When I heard the shower turn on, I shifted back a bit to look at Bella.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are to me?" I wondered aloud, combing my fingers through her hair.

She shook her head shyly, blushing a light rose color. I sighed, cradling her face gently. I would be trying to figure out how this beautiful, caring, complex woman chose _me_ for the rest of my life. And I loved it.

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, Beautiful," I murmured before leaning down to capture her lips, neither of us moving to deepen the kiss, just connecting for a brief, quiet moment, before the madness of the day could begin.

.

"_It's Chriiiiiiist-maaaaaaaaaaas!"_ Emmett's booming voice rang as he ran down the hallway. It was a good thing we'd had to practically rent out an entire floor to accommodate everyone, or we'd probably be getting complaints to the hotel security right about now. Lily, Bella, and I had been awake for a couple of hours, eating pancakes in bed as our family started to make noise out in the hall.

"Finally," Lily muttered, sliding off the bed to go open the door to our suite. "Does that mean it's time to go, Daddy?"

I nodded, stuffing one last bite of breakfast into my mouth and swallowing before responding. "We'll open presents with everybody else and then go to the park."

"Can I go out there?" she asked, her hand on the doorknob.

I nodded again, watching as she opened the door and jumped straight into Charlie's arms. Bella pushed her plate away and lay down stomach-first onto the bed, her eyes snapping shut.

"What are my chances at getting to take a nap first?" she mumbled tiredly.

"I don't know," I grinned leaning down and pushing her onto her back. "I could go ask Renee to check her cards for you if you like…"

She laughed, slowly opening her eyes. "No, no, I'll get up…Have you got your mom's present?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Have you got Emmett's?"

A devilish smile spread across her face. "Oh, yeah. And I've been practicing the face I'm going to use to convince him to wear it."

"No more hanging out with Alice for you," I ordered, shaking my head at her as she gave me a glimpse of her perfected pout.

"Whatever," she laughed, pushing off the bed and slipping her shoes on. Her Princess of Blue shirt fit her body perfectly. "I learned that from _your_ daughter."

"Why is it she's always _my_ daughter whenever she's being troublesome, but when she acts like an angel she's _your _daughter?" I sighed resignedly.

She laughed at me, pulling me up off the bed. "Because."

As good a reason as any.

.

She and I migrated down the hallway toward the sound of our family congregated together in my parent's suite. The presents for everyone were stacked on a table in their living area and Bella and I set ours on the table with the rest of them.

"Finally," Emmett grumbled, standing up and placing himself next to the table to distribute the gifts. "Alright. Moment of truth. Who picked who?"

Everyone revealed their pick for the Secret Santa that our family did every year to eliminate the stress of buying gifts for everyone when they were more than able to buy whatever they wanted for themselves. My mom loved her new zoom lens for her camera and flash and Bella laughed over the copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies she received from Jasper. Finally the moment came for Emmett to open Bella's gift.

I watched Bella become the consummate actress, hesitating slightly before releasing it to Emmett.

"Emmie, you have to understand. I…it took me so long to figure out what to get you. But when I saw this, I just knew you had to have it. I really hope you love it as much as I do," she said softly, her eyes full of hope and what I could recognize as just a glitter of mischief that Emmett didn't notice.

He threw a giant arm around her shoulders, hugging her. "B, I'm gonna love it."

"Okay," she nodded, stepping away to watch him open it, motioning for my mom to get a picture.

He threw the wrapping paper everywhere in his haste to get to his present, his eyes widening while his face screwed up in momentary confusion. "What is this?"

"It's like a utility belt," Bella chirped, rushing over to him. "See? This big compartment is to hold your camera and your wallet and then there are these holders on the sides for a water bottle and sunscreen and your walkie talkie and your phone."

"B," he began, shaking his head. "Batman has a utility belt. This is a fanny pack."

"You don't like it," she said sadly, her shoulders sagging in disappointment. I could see Rose shaking behind Emmett, her face buried in a pillow as she tried not to laugh. Everyone was waiting for Emmett's reaction while Charlie was shaking his head and smiling nostalgically.

"What? No!" he stammered, standing up quickly and fumbling with the buckle to put it on. His brightly colored Hawaiian shirt was a stark contrast to the black fanny pack, but he strapped it on proudly, walking and modeling it for the whole family. His smile was an eerie replica of the Goofy hat on his head, but he looked genuinely happy with his present. "I love it, B. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Emmie," Bella grinned.

I'd been so wrapped up watching everybody open their presents, it didn't occur to me that I hadn't received one. We were about to head downstairs to let the rest of the family eat breakfast when Charlie stopped me.

"Hey, Edward. Um…here," he grunted, thrusting a small package into my hands. Bella caught my eye and smiled, ushering Lily out and giving the two of us a moment alone.

I opened the box as quickly as I could, but it would seem that Charlie was no better at wrapping presents than I was. After tearing through the layers of scotch tape, I was able to lift the lid to reveal a small, scratched gold pocket watch.

"Um…it was my grandfather's. It got passed down to my dad and then to me," he mumbled, looking a little bit uncomfortable. I inhaled sharply at his words, picking up the watch carefully to look at it more closely.

"Thank you, Charlie," I breathed. He shrugged, focusing very hard on an invisible spot on the floor. "Are you sure you want t-"

"I wouldn't have given it to you if I wasn't sure. I never had a son to pass it down to…until now," he said, meeting my eyes with fierce resolve.

"This means a lot to me, Charlie. Thank you."

He gave me an awkward one-armed hug with a pat on the shoulder before leaving me in the room alone. Popping open the decades old heirloom, I squinted at the small print inscription that looked a lot newer than the watch itself.

_It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons._

"He picked that out himself," Bella's voice sounded softly from behind me. She walked around to face me and I pulled her into my arms, still clutching the watch. "He loves you, you know."

I nodded with my face buried in her hair, letting out a deep breath to try and get a grasp on my emotions. There was so much swirling within me regarding this day, the relief that we'd made it, the happiness now that I had everything I could ever want, the painful memories that reminded me how we all came together. She let me just hold her for a while, giving me time to calm down and get a grip on myself. She was always, would always be my center.

Pulling back, I kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose and then her lips, smiling as I felt her do the same. "Let's go put this in the safe in our room and then head downstairs. Let the torture begin."

"It's not torture!" she argued as I dragged her down the hallway, laughing over her protests.

.

Less than an hour later, I was in hell. Pure, unadulterated, Disney Christmas hell. I had been previously unaware that Disney characters sang Christmas carols. I now knew that they did, in fact, sing them. And they were being played through every speaker throughout the entire park and inside every store. There was no escaping it. The only other sound muffling the music drilling holes into my brain was the roar of about a million people. Bella hadn't been kidding. This place was fucking packed.

Lily was wearing a backpack with her phone and walkie talkie inside and an alarm bracelet on her wrist that let out a siren if pulled. She would probably have a hard time pulling it though, with the death grip Bella had on her hand.

"Mommy," Lily huffed for the third time. "Too tight."

"Sorry, sorry," Bella stammered, loosening her grip slightly, only to immediately clutch it again as a large man knocked her shoulder as he passed.

Skimming my map quickly, I found what I was looking for. We needed to find a line to stand in, even if it took an hour.

"Alright, come on. This way," I ordered, scooping Lily up to carry her through the crowd, the family following behind, Emmett and the jingle bells around his neck ringing as we went. As expected, the line for the teacups was insanely long, but at least we were stationary.

"Teacups! Teacups! I wanna ride 'til I throw up!" Lily announced, bouncing in my arms. I could see the tension visibly leave Bella's body as we settled into the line, her shoulders returning to their normal state, her face losing its tightness, her chest rising and falling smoothly as her short, sharp breaths dissipated.

"Me, too!" Emmett boomed, making Bella grin.

"I don't know about this," Charlie muttered, eyeing the spinning cups suspiciously.

"Papaw! Please?" Lily begged, batting her eyelashes and melting him instantly.

I reached over with my free hand and tugged Bella over to me, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "After this, we'll go straight to another ride. I'll carry her so you don't have to worry, okay?"

She sighed, shaking her head. Murmuring quietly, she looked up at me. "No. I mean, if she wants to go straight to another ride, we can, but I don't want to rush her through the whole thing. I want her to enjoy it. I'm okay."

I tried to smother my laugh, but I didn't do a very good job. "Baby, a woman tried to comment on how cute our shirts were and I'm pretty sure you hissed at her."

She grimaced, squeezing my hand. "I didn't mean to. She surprised me…But I'm feeling better now. It was just such a change from the hotel to….all _this_," she motioned toward the crowds passing by.

"If you're sure…" I trailed off, watching her closely.

"I am," she smiled. "I really want to get to see Tomorrowland. And, Lily!" she spoke loudly to get our daughter's attention. As the smirk appeared on her face, I knew I was fucked. "Do you want to go on the It's A Small World ride?"

Lily's eyes widened as she nodded exuberantly. "Oh, yeah! What's that?"

"It's the best ride they have," Bella answered, ignoring the death glare I was shooting her. "And Daddy's favorite."

Clenching my jaw, I leaned down to her ear again. "I _will_ make you pay for this."

Turning her head so her lips were almost touching mine, she whispered, "I'll make it worth your while. Every time they sing the chorus, you get a kiss."

_Maybe this won't be so bad after all._

.

Forty-five minutes later, Emmett was bent over at his knees, trying not to vomit.

"That was so exhilarating!" my mother exclaimed. My _mother._

"I know! You could feel the wind speaking to you!" Renee agreed, hooking her arm with my mom's and walking past Emmett without a glance.

Everyone else was fine, although Charlie looked a little green.

"What's next?" Lily chirped from between Bella and me.

"Whatever you want, Little Thing," Bella smiled, swinging hers and Lily's joined hands between them. The happiness radiating from the two of them was palpable as they looked over the map. After some deliberation and Emmett's recovery, we headed through the crowds towards the carousel. There was a line for that as well, but it wasn't nearly the wait that the Mad Tea Party was.

Throughout the day, we had saltwater taffy for a midmorning snack, rode countless rides, took pictures with various characters around the park, ate spaghetti at Tony's for lunch, and I got kissed senseless during my new favorite ride.

"That was dumb," Lily decided as we dismounted the boats.

"I thought it was great," I grinned, pulling her hand as we made our way to the Main Street for the Christmas parade.

. . . . . .

BPOV

"Lily. It's starting," I spoke into her ear, struggling to be heard over the music and the people as I tangled with her sweater, trying to get her warmed up now that the sun had gone down and the air was cooling around us

"Will she see me? Will she see me?" Lily vibrated, making it extremely difficult to get her wrapped up as she strained to catch a glimpse of Cinderella.

"When she gets close, we'll put you on Daddy's shoulders, okay? But she won't be 'til later. Here comes a float. I think it's the chipmunks," I grinned, trying to boost her up enough to see over the person's head in front of us.

I held her through the first half of the parade, the second half she spent on top of Edward's shoulders. I took as many pictures as I could of her screaming at the characters, catching candy canes and waving at Cinderella. She looked close to fainting when Santa rode through on the last float of the parade, even though she had to be exhausted. She'd woken us up at three a.m. Seattle time and it was now well past ten Eastern Time. With no nap the whole day, she'd be lucky to make it back to the hotel awake. I was half-dead on my feet myself.

"Santaaaaa!" she screamed, her voice growing hoarse after an hour of yelling at the passing parade. Fireworks went off overhead above the castle creating the perfect end to the day. These Disney people definitely knew how to make a day feel magical for a kid. I lifted her off of Edward's shoulders once the parade was officially finished, everyone waiting for the crowds to dissipate before heading back to board the monorail to head back to the resort.

She snuggled into my shoulder, laying limply against my body.

"This was my favoritest day, Mommy," she slurred. "Do you have the M&Ms for sleepover?"

Shifting from foot to foot, I cradled her body close to mine as we slowly began walking back. "Of course. They're the most important part."

"Mmm. Mommy?" she yawned. "Can I have a makeover in the morning instead? And wear it to the other Disneyworld?"

"That would be fine, sweetie," I assured her, squeezing her as we boarded the shuttle back. By the time the ten-minute ride was over, she was out like a light. Full-on snoring, drooling, head-lolling out.

"What do we do with her?" I whispered to Edward as we stepped off the train. He took one glance at Lily and shook his head.

"I don't know," he whispered back. "I think she'd be disappointed to wake up without all the girls since she wanted a sleepover."

"I promised her we'd do makeovers in the morning," I added, narrowing my eyes when he smiled. "You laugh now, but you're going to be stuck walking around with me looking like a clown all day."

He grinned, steering us toward an elevator to go up with the family. "Let's just get her upstairs and tucked in."

"I need to change," I said lowly as we stepped inside and headed up. "And I need to get her stuff for the morning out of our room."

His lip twitched, but he remained expressionless. "Okay, love."

The ride up was remarkably silent, everyone too exhausted to gush over the day's fun. Emmett, Jasper, my dad and Phil all moved toward my dad's room, while Edward continued on with me towards Esme's.

"I'm just going to help Bella tuck Lily in," he called out over his shoulder. I heard Emmett mutter something, but I couldn't quite make it out. Once Lily was nestled under the covers of the main bed, Edward began pulling me out of the suite as I tried to explain myself to Esme.

"I just have to go get our stuff and then I'll be right-" I was cut off as the door closed, shutting me off from Esme, Rose and Alice's smirking faces while Edward continued to tug me down the hall impatiently.

"Edward! I was trying to talk to-" I was cut off _again_, only this time by his mouth on mine as he pushed me against our door, trying to unlock it with the keycard. Once it beeped, he pushed us roughly inside, his hands tossing my purse off my shoulder somewhere into the darkness of the room. "_Oh._"

"Yeah, exactly. Oh," he mumbled against my lips as he ran his hands all over my body. He pulled away for only a second to rip his shirt away before returning to me immediately, gripping my face in his hands as he poured his love and lust and want into his kiss. I grabbed the bottom of my own shirt and pulled it up just as quickly, ripping away from his lips for only a second to toss it away. He licked his lips at the sight of my bared chest, lifting me by my ass to wrap my legs around him as he dove into my breasts. Continuing to walk forward, I was surprised when my back met the cool glass of the balcony door.

"_Edward_," I gasped, trying and failing to not melt into a puddle as he continued his ministrations on me, the grinding of his hips against mine. At the sound of my voice he stilled, slowly setting me down to my feet.

Looking me straight in the eye, his gaze was fierce, commanding. "Don't. Move."

I nodded slowly, my body already reacting to the dominant tone in his voice. This man could rule me anywhere, anytime. He stepped away to the bed, ripping the comforter off of it and stalking back towards me. Standing right in front of me, his mouth was so close I could feel his breath on my lips as he reached behind me to open the balcony door. Silently, it slid open and I would have fallen through had his arm not been wrapped around my waist to guide me out.

When he threw the blanket onto the ground, I sank down on it wordlessly, his movements lithe and as graceful as a predator as he followed after, his body perfectly aligning with mine. Always perfectly.

Even though we were alone, he spoke in hushed whispers. "The last time we were on a balcony, there was something _else_ I wanted to do…"

I surrendered under him completely, letting his fingers play all over me like I was his piano, letting his mouth bring to life all the surfaces of my skin that lay dormant before I knew him. Our remaining pieces of clothes slowly disappeared as our kisses grew more intense and our hands wandered further. When there was nothing left but he and I, bare for each other, he trailed his kisses up from my breasts, up my neck and to my chin, pausing to gaze over me.

Feeling emboldened by the love in his eyes, I pushed him to roll over onto his back so I could straddle him. Just like the first time we made love, he threw some of the blanket around my back to cover me as the wind picked up around us. When I lowered myself onto him, we both exhaled matching sighs of relief as our bodies connected. His hands crept up my body to hold me as he moved me up and down, always knowing my body better than I did.

"_Fuck._ Oh my God. I can feel you, baby. Come for me. I'm right there with you. _Fuck_," he breathed, his head thrown back and his eyes clenched shut as I came apart above him, his tight grip around my waist the only thing holding me up.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I chanted, over and over as I all but collapsed, my ear pressed tightly to his chest where his heart was beating a furious tattoo underneath.

His hand nudged my chin and I tilted my face up for a kiss, the kind of kiss that held so much tenderness in every part of it that I wanted to cry. He held my face in his hand, his lips moving slowly against mine until he pulled back suddenly.

"Hey, what's this?" he whispered, wiping away a tear that had fallen.

"Happy. It's just a happy one," I sniffled, embarrassed as they continued to come.

"You're such a _girl_," he joked, trying to make me laugh even as I read the concern in his eyes.

I sniffle/laughed, sliding off of him to lie on my side on the floor next to him. He turned to face me and wiped each one away as they came.

"Talk to me," he murmured softly.

"It's just…it was such a big day, you know?" I sniffled, relieved when he seemed to understand and nod. "I…I never thought it would happen back then. And now we're here and it's even better than I used to dream about because I'm here _with_ you and I think it might be illegal for someone to be this happy, but happy isn't even the right word for it because it's so much more than tha-"

The kiss that cut me off was so soft, I almost couldn't feel it, but it was enough to silence me.

"It's the same for me, love. I've been feeling it all day, too. This is more than I could have ever hoped to want and have," he smiled, running his fingers along my jaw. "I know it was supposed to be sleepover night for you girls, but what would you think about doing that later this week? When she's actually awake to enjoy it. And maybe we go get her and bring her back to our room for tonight. I want to get to go to bed with _both_ my girls on Christmas."

I nodded immediately, missing her too. We gathered the scattered clothes from the balcony and tossed them into our suitcases, dressing for bed quickly. By the time I was finished in the bathroom, he had returned with a sleeping Lily. As we snuggled into the sheets, Lily stirred slightly.

"Mmm. Daddy? Is it still Christmas?"

He chuckled, scratching her back to soothe her back to sleep. "For a couple more minutes, Lilybug."

"Hmm. Merry Christmas, Daddy. G'night, Mommy."

We both laid kisses on either side of her head as she slipped away again, her breaths slow and deep. His hand found mine in the dark and I laced my fingers through his, smiling as he placed a kiss on each one.

"Love you," he whispered.

"Every part," I whispered back, curving myself around Lily and closing my eyes finally after a long and perfect day.

. . . . . . . . . .

**A/N: Well? What'd you think? Let me know if you'd like. As always, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, rec'd, nominated and voted for this story. The next epi will be up, probably in a week, **_**maybe**_ **a week and a half. **

**When I'm 64 Copyright © The Beatles**

**Roy Croft: I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you**

**Christopher Marlowe: Whoever loved, that loved not at first sight? Full poem:**

**It lies not in our power to love or hate,  
For will in us is overruled by fate.  
When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,  
We wish that one should love, the other win;**

**And one especially do we affect  
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:  
The reason no man knows; let it suffice  
What we behold is censured by our eyes.  
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:  
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?**

**Pride and Prejudice and Zombies written by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith Copyright **** 2009 Quirk Productions**

**Friedrich Schiller: It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.**


	37. Epilogue Pt 2: The Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot is mine. © isakassees 2009-2010**

**A/N: Sorry this is getting to you so late, my internet connection is down and I had to find a computer to get this out. I didn't get to send it out to be beta'ed, so all mistakes are mine, not Bellamarie117. Though I did let aleighy and Fantasy Mother preread before my internet died, so maybe…blame them? No, that's not fair, blame me.**

Epilogue: Pt. 2 The Happily Ever After

(March 20, 2010)

EPOV

_Two o'clock. Any minute now._

I checked my watch for the hundredth time since everyone began their procession into the tents decorating the backyard. Soft music played while our small handful of guests waited, but my mind was buzzing with too much anticipation to really hear it. As the sun slowly lowered in the sky, tiny lights lit up the tents at the same time the music subtly changed.

Rose and Emmett walked down the grassy aisle up to the gazebo where I waited, followed by Alice and Jasper. I'd prepared myself for the fact I was probably going to cry today, but I hadn't expected it to happen before the wedding even started. But when Lily appeared at the end of the aisle in a simple, white, flowing dress and began walking towards me, tossing flower petals onto the ground as she went, I couldn't help but return her beaming smile with a watery grin of my own.

When she finally reached me, I couldn't resist kneeling down to give her a hug.

"Thank you, Lilybug. You did a great job. I love you," I whispered, closing my eyes to keep my tears at bay as she threw her arms around my neck.

"Thanks, Daddy. I look pretty like Mommy."

Pulling back, I took a deep breath. "So much more than pretty, baby. You look beautiful."

She smiled once more before hopping away from my arms to stand next to Alice. I stood back up, my eyes automatically going to the end of the aisle once more. Because I could _feel_ her there. My Bella, in the same dress as Lily, holding a single white lily with her arm hooked in Charlie's. I hadn't realized I'd started to move toward her until I felt Emmett's hand clap on my shoulder.

"Just breathe, bro," he whispered.

I nodded, my eyes focused only on Bella as she began to walk toward me. Her curls were loose and free, her face fresh and bright. In all the hundreds of ways I had imagined her in this moment, she was a million times more than anything I could ever have dreamed up. Once she finally reached me, it looked like Charlie was holding her back the same way Emmett was me.

"Hi," she whispered, her smile barely contained, her eyes shining with her happiness.

"Hi," I smiled back, only holding back from kissing her that instant because of Emmett's grip on me.

"Who gives this woman to be married?" the justice of the peace asked from behind us, snapping me back into the present.

"Her mother and I do," Charlie said, his voice shaking slightly. He blushed, his mustache twitching a bit as Bella kissed him on the cheek and whispered something in his ear. Looking to me, he grasped my shoulder firmly and nodded. "You take care of her for me, son."

And then he placed her hand in mine.

…..

(October 8th, 2010)

BPOV

_All of these ideas are stupid._

He was going to be home any minute and I had no clue how to tell him. I didn't even know _how_ to cook baby back ribs. And was it seriously possible to bake my own fortune cookies? I had the stick. I could just wrap it, maybe? But how gross would that be if he picked up the end with the pee on it? My stomach rolled at the thought and I made a mental note to ask my mother why I'd apparently been lied to my entire life regarding the illusion of 'morning' sickness. The last two days had been more like morning, afternoon, evening and the smell-of-coconut sickness. Last night there was even three o'clock in the morning sickness. How Edward slept through _that_ I'd never know.

Tonight was Friday night, so it was our date night and Lily was at Esme's. I'd wanted to tell Lily so badly, but I just couldn't do it without telling Edward first.

_Which brings me back to…_

I could just wait. By my math, I was about six weeks along. He'd figure it out for himself in a few months. I shook my head at myself, throwing my pen down on my list and stomping out of the kitchen. Exhausted, I threw myself down onto the couch. Even thinking made me tired lately. It felt like I'd barely closed my eyes before I was being gently shaken awake by Edward.

"Hey, love," he smiled. "I picked up some dinner for us tonight on the way home. Are you hungry?"

He lifted up a bag of take-out right in front of me and my stomach lurched at the overpowering smell. With my hand clapped over my mouth, I pushed past him and ran into the bathroom, barely making it on time. He was right behind me, holding my hair and whispering soothing words to me. It didn't take too long for the nausea to subside and he sank down to the floor when I finished.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes tight with concern.

"No. Yes. No. I don't know," I answered, bursting into tears. This was _not_ how tonight was supposed to go. Embarrassed and irritated, I slapped my tears away. "I'm just going to go upstairs and clean up. I'll be back down in a minute."

Rising and brushing past him, I ran all the way upstairs to our bathroom. I brushed my teeth slowly, not wanting to gag myself and have another round with the toilet bowl. I was in the closet changing when I heard Edward's footsteps come pounding up the stairs, really, _really_ fast. He threw the bedroom door open, his eyes sweeping the room until he found me, staring back at him bewildered as he caught his breath.

Walking over to me purposefully, he stopped a foot away from me and just stared at me, his eyes never leaving mine. Slowly lifting up his hand, my heart dropped into my stomach as I recognized the piece of paper he held. The list, titled _How to Tell Edward I'm Pregnant_. Forgetting the list on the counter for your husband to find was surprisingly _not_ one of the suggestions I found on Google.

"Is this…this isn't like hypothetical is it?" he blurted out, making me jump.

Laughing nervously, I shook my head slightly. "No, it's real," I said softly.

The most devastatingly happy smile broke across his face as his eyes filled with tears and his voice broke. "We're going to have a baby?"

Letting my own tears fall from my eyes, I nodded.

"We're going to have a baby!" he yelled, picking me up and running from the closet to spin me around the room.

_No, no, no. Please no spinning._

"Edward," I croaked. "Stop. Please."

He stopped immediately and I must have looked a little green, because he rushed me over to the bed and sat me down. On his knees in front of me, he began checking my forehead and my pulse while he rambled.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Is that why you were sick? Have you been sick a lot? When did you find out? Have you been to the doctor yet? Have you had any other symp-"

"Edward."

His shoulders sagged as he glared playfully at me. "Yes, Bella."

"Please kiss me."

His eyes softened as he leaned in, surprising me when he pushed me back gently so I was laying flat on the bed.

"Yes, Bella," he whispered against my lips before kissing me softly while he slowly lifted my shirt. His hands ghosted over my stomach, feeling over the flatness that would soon grow with life. Leaning down, he pressed short, sweet kisses all over my abdomen. His lips were tickling me as he whispered and I strained my ears to hear him.

"_I love you so much. Every little part of you, I love you."_

…

(May 23rd, 2011)

EPOV

"I changed my mind. I don't want to have a baby anymore," Bella panted. I wiped her forehead with a damp washcloth and shook my head, smiling regretfully. Bad move on the smile.

"Do you think this is funny?" she screeched. "Are you laughing at me right now? I'm trying to push _your_ baby out of my body and you're laughing at me?"

"Shh. I'm not laughing at you, love. I don't think it's funny at all. You're doing such a good job, baby. Such a good job," I soothed, wincing as I saw another contraction hit her.

"Edward," she whimpered. "Make them give me drugs. Please, Edward."

"Baby," I grimaced, helping her roll onto her side so I could rub her back again. "Baby, if I could, I would. I'm so sorry. You dilated too fast. It's going to be over soon."

"This baby hates me," she gasped, but her OB and L&D nurse came in before I could respond. Not that anything I could have said would change her mind. She'd been convinced the baby hated her since she hit thirty-nine weeks.

"Time to check your progress, Bella! How are you feeling right now?" Dr. Tanner asked as she checked the monitor by the bed.

"I'm dying. Please get it out," Bella begged, finding my hand and clutching it tightly as the doctor felt her cervix.

"Ow! Baby, that hurts," I blurted out before I could stop myself, but I could _feel_ the bones crunching in my hand. But then three sets of eyebrows rose with disbelieving eyes trained on me and I instantly backtracked. "I'm sorry, Bella. Squeeze them. Squeeze as hard as you want."

Dr. Tanner stood back up, nodding for the nurse to slide over her tray of instruments.

"Somebody's ready to have a baby," she smiled encouragingly, helping get Bella's feet situated into the stirrups. "We're going to push on the next contraction when I say…Alright, Bella. Push!"

Forty-five minutes later, I was near tears at the sight of Bella. She was exhausted, in more pain than I'd ever have to feel in my life and begging me to let her rest.

"I just need a break," she pled, tears pouring out of her eyes. I leaned over her, kissing them away, letting her squeeze my hands again as the next contraction came.

"Bella, that's it. He's crowning! Give me two more, Bella. Come on!" Dr. Tanner spoke loudly and firmly.

She cried underneath me, shaking her head. "I can't."

"Yes, you can, Bella! Two more!"

I wiped the sweat off her face with my hands, cradling it for a second before the next push. "Baby, you can do this. You know you can. You are so strong. You want to meet our new baby, don't you? I hope she looks like you."

"No," she sniffled. "I want _him_ to look like _you_."

I smiled down at her, brushing the hair out of her eyes that had fallen from her ponytail.

"Bella!" Dr. Tanner's voice warned. "Push. One, two, three…Alright, the head is out! One more push and you get to hold your baby, Mama!"

I watched my sweet girl grit her teeth, close her eyes and concentrate harder than I'd ever seen. Every muscle in her body was tensed until _finally_ I saw her stomach seem to deflate and the doctor stood up, holding up the bloody, crying, messy form of…My _son_.

"It's a boy!" she announced before laying him on Bella's stomach and sitting back down to finish the delivery.

Bella lifted her head up and stroked his cheek before looking over to me.

"Lily's going to be so mad he's not a girl," she breathed, her eyes overflowing.

I shook my head immediately. "Lily's going to _love_ him," I whispered.

Looking down on our new baby, I marveled over how my hand completely wrapped around his stomach and almost covered half his body. Bella's and my fingers met as we stroked over his tightly wound fists.

"He _doesn't_ hate me!" she gasped when his hand opened and wrapped around her finger.

Laughing, I leaned over, shaking my head. "No, my Beautiful Bella. He loves you. And I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, meeting me in the middle for a kiss.

Once he'd been cleaned, passed his APGAR and Bella had been able to change and move down to her postpartum suite, Lily descended upon us with balloons in hand. Pink balloons.

"Lily," I began, speaking softly. "I need to tell you-"

"It's a boy!" she interrupted, grinning from ear to ear. "Nana told me. I have a brother!"

I shushed her squeal, pointing at the sleeping baby on Bella's chest. "Remember how we practiced, okay, sweetie?"

She nodded, washing her hands before walking cautiously over to Bella's bedside. "Can I come see…?"

Bella nodded in return, smiling and sliding over a bit. "Get up here, Little Thing."

Lily climbed in carefully, snuggling into Bella's side. "He's so tiny, Mommy. What's his name?"

Bella looked up and smiled at me as I walked over to sit on the bed beside them. She raised her eyebrows at me expectantly and I nodded, reaching over to rub his soft cheek, his face the only part of him visible in his swaddling blanket and little striped beanie.

"Lily…I'd like you to meet your brother Jack."

…..

(July 1st, 2013)

BPOV

"Oh, crap. Edward, Jack needs a diaper change," I grimaced.

He looked up from his grocery list, surprised. "Again?"

I shrugged, unsure what he wanted me to say. I didn't exactly control these things.

Handing his list to Lily, he walked over to me at the end of the cart. He took Jack out of my arms, tickling his sides. "What's the deal, buddy? You gotta tell Daddy when you need to go, so you can be a big boy."

"Big boy!" Jack mimicked, making Edward grin.

"Alright," he said, turning to me. "We'll be right back."

"Thank you," I smiled sweetly, walking around to the front of the cart. "We'll go pick up the hot dog buns while you're…busy. Meet you by the salad stuff?"

He nodded, winking at me before walking toward the bathrooms at the front of the store. I turned to Lily, who was waiting for me.

"Soooo, Momma," she began.

"Soooo, Lily," I copied, already knowing what was coming. We headed to the back of the store to pick up the buns we'd forgotten for the Fourth of July barbecue coming up at Emmett's.

"Am I gonna get to go?" she asked, trying to wield her look on me, but I'd grown immune over the years.

"Lily," I sighed. "We have been _over_ this. Your dad and I just aren't sure you're ready for such a long camp. A week is a really long time."

"But all the Brownies are going! I'll be the only girl in third grade who didn't get to. And if I don't go…I'm gonna die," she cried dramatically.

"Somehow I doubt that," I muttered dryly, tossing packages into the cart.

"I did good last year!" she argued.

"Yes, you did," I conceded. "But that was only three days. This is an entire week. That's a big difference."

"Momma," she stopped walking as we reached the lettuce, looking up at me with a pleading expression. "I'll be the only girl that doesn't get her patch. I promise, if I get scared and I wanna come home, I'll never bug you to go to camp again. Just let me try. _Please_."

I cringed as I felt my resolve slipping. Her eyes were hopeful as she watched my face melt.

"I'll talk to your dad," I sighed resignedly. She threw her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. I hugged her back, still not used to how tall she was now, almost to my shoulders. We rounded the corner and found Edward juggling a couple of tomatoes for Jack, who was cheering and laughing loudly. When he saw me he stopped, tossing them into a plastic bag.

"I was holding on to them for the salad," he explained, dropping them into the cart.

"Of course," I answered wryly, tossing a couple of packages of lettuce in with the rest of the groceries.

"I know! I na-na apple!" Jack exclaimed, pushing past my legs to the display.

"No!" Lily yelled, stopping his hands as he reached above his head blindly. She knelt down to him as Edward and I watched, his arms slipping around my waist from behind.

"You can't ever run away from Mommy and Daddy, Jack. Never ever," she said seriously and he nodded as he always did, because everything his big sister said was golden. She smiled at his acceptance and reached over, very carefully picking an apple off the display. She handed it to him in a tossing motion and he giggled loudly as he 'caught' it. When she stood, she looked up at us and shook her head.

"He's such a giggle monster sometimes."

…..

**A/N: And that's the end. I know it's very different than last epilogue, but this was how I wanted to end it. If you were on the FGB team and are dying for me to continue on with one of these 'flashes', just let me know. Those outtakes will eventually be posted on my companion story, but not for a few months. And no, there is not going to be a sequel.**

**I'd like to thank everyone who sent your kind thoughts monamour's way after the scare she gave us in the hospital. She is awake, rambunctious and perverted as ever. I hope her Tweedles are reading this to her as we speak.**

**And to all my readers, once again thank you all for taking the time to read my story and review.**


	38. Epilogue Pt 3: What Came After

**A/N: This is the last FGB outtake, an epilogue for the epilogue. I felt like it should tack onto the end here, instead of over on the outtakes story. I'd once again like to thank the generous FGBers for allowing me to post this, Fantasy Mother and aleighy for prereading, and songster for her help with the end. The year is 2015, Lily 10-5th grade(she grew up!) and Jack 4. Warning: I shift POVs like the Mad Hatter changes teacups in this one and...  
**

**My last tissue warning for TINML!**

**

* * *

**

**Epilogue 3: What Came After the Happily Ever After**

**June 2015**

**EPOV**

"I'm sorry, love," I whispered, staring down at the minus sign on the counter. She sniffled, shaking her head.

"No, it's okay. I just really thought this time because I was late…"

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly, trying to not let her see I was disappointed too.

"We could take another one tomorrow if you want," I tried. "Sometimes the second time around the hormone is weaker and it doesn't always show up. We could go to the doctor…"

"No," she rasped, pulling away from me. "They're just going to say the same thing. Everything looks fine and we should just wait and try again."

"We can go see the specialist if you want…" I offered again.

"No," she shook her head, seeming to recover herself. "I told you, I don't want to force it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it's just not meant to be."

I stopped her from moving any further away from me, eyeing her carefully. "It's okay to be upset, though. Don't put on this act with me."

"I'm not. I _am_ disappointed, but…I love our family. We have two beautiful kids. I'm not about to get greedy," she smiled genuinely.

I smiled back, satisfied. "I love you."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed her love back into me.

.

**November 2015**

**BPOV**

"Hey, Mom?"

I looked up from my computer to see Lily hovering in the doorway to my study, tall and lanky just like her dad.

"Yeah? What's up, Lily?"

She crinkled her nose and stuck her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Can I talk to you about something?"

Confused, I waved her in towards the chair in front of my desk. "Yeah, sweetie. What's going on?"

She leaned forward, steepling her hands together. "You know how I couldn't decide after fifth grade career day about what I wanted to do? Like, I want to be a writer, but I kind of want to be a pediatrician, too?"

I nodded, proud of her ambitions.

"I think I want to be both," she nodded firmly. "But like, I want to be a pediatrician when I'm older, and be a writer _now_."

"Now?" I repeated, my eyebrows high on my forehead.

"My stories. I want to make them into a book. Like, for kids. But just change our names."

I sat back in my chair, mulling it over. She'd continued them for years now, adding her brother as the prince of yellow and expanding into all sorts of adventures. It was an ingenious idea for a book series, really, but due to the story's origins, I'd always felt they were private.

"I don't know," I mumbled hesitantly, tapping my finger absentmindedly on the side of my keyboard. "Writing a book is a lot of work."

"What are _you_ writing right now?" she asked curiously, her eyes on the motion of my fingers.

"The auction piece for that charity me and your dad are going to next month," I answered, still thinking about her request.

"The one for cancer?" she asked, her eyes drifting out my window. "There's lots of charities, right? Like ones for kids, too?"

"Yeah," I replied slowly, trying to keep up with her train of thought.

She glanced back at me, her eyebrows furrowed. "Like ones for kids that get hurt?"

I sucked in a sharp breath, nodding seriously. "Yes. There are several charities for abused and neglected children. Why do you ask?"

"So can people write books for those charities too? Like your thing you're doing?"

I shook my head at her, bemused. "Well, what I'm doing is just an extension of a book I already wrote. It's just a little novella to be sold, and the benefits go to the cancer research foundation. There are tons of ways to give to charities. People don't usually write an entire book for a charity auction, but sometimes an author will have the proceeds from a book go toward a charity, or a portion of the proceeds, or whatever."

"Could we do that with my book? Except for the one for kids that are hurt and neglected or whatever?"

I leaned forward, resting my face in my hands. "I'm having trouble keeping up with you. You're saying you want to take your stories and make them into a book, but you want to donate the profits to a charity for abused kids?"

"Why is that hard to keep up with?" she asked, arching her eyebrow at me. Mmm. Pre-adolescent sarcasm. Awesome.

I sighed, arching my eyebrow right back. "Because you're bouncing all over the place and I'm just trying to understand. Are you really sure you want to do this? Those stories…Lily, I love them, you know I do, they just…when we made them…"

"I know, Mom," she interrupted. "That's why I want them to help kids that are hurt. I don't need the money for it. It'll be cool enough to have a book written by me that I can put on my shelf. And I know it's hard, but you could help me! Wouldn't that be cool? Our stories written by us? But it's just…maybe if a kid reads a book written by another kid, they might want to try it too, you know? In case they don't have somebody to teach them how. In case they don't have somebody to keep them safe like I did."

My eyes stung and I blinked back tears, my throat too thick with emotion to speak yet. I couldn't grasp onto just one emotion to feel everything that was rippling through me. Talking about that time was obviously upsetting, simply because of the pain and fear I still remembered vividly, even after all these years. I knew I couldn't give her an answer without talking to Edward first, and I didn't know how he was going to feel about this, either. But I was absolutely bursting with pride to hear her ambition to accomplish this for the sole sake of accomplishing it, her desire to help, her generosity…

"We'll talk to your dad about it tonight," I said softly, as she stood and walked around the desk to give me a hug.

.

**Mid-July 2016**

**EPOV**

"He's _your_ son," Bella groaned, throwing herself onto the bed completely clothed. I chuckled silently, closing and locking our door before walking over to her and pulling her shoes off.

"Baby," I coaxed. "He was just trying to give his momma a present."

She jerked her head up, glaring at me. "A _frog_, Edward. A wart-infested, mucus-covered, insect-ingesting _frog_."

I choked on a laugh, remembering the look on her face when he came inside for dinner with his 'present.' Right in her lap.

"Do _not_ laugh at me right now," she threatened, her own lips twitching. I smiled, trying to go for contrite, but obviously failing miserably as her eyes narrowed. "It jumped in my face, Edward."

I nodded solemnly and reached up, unsnapping her jeans to pull them down. "I know, love."

She arched her eyebrow as I tossed her jeans aside and crawled up her body, sliding her shirt up as I went.

"Why are you making me naked?"

"Checking for warts," I quipped, throwing her shirt behind me.

She laughed, unbuttoning my shirt quickly. "Okay, look. We can do this, but I'm tired. You've maybe got fifteen minutes before I pass out."

"Mmm," I hummed, leaning back on my knees to take my shirt the rest of the way off. "It gets me so hot when you start talking time limits."

Grinning, she pulled me back down to her and kissed me languidly while her fingers worked the front of my slacks. When she finally worked them free, she shoved them down as far as she could and then moaned her protests into my mouth. Chuckling, I rolled off of her for a moment to kick them off along with my boxers while she slipped her panties down her legs. I reached around her to unsnap her bra, but she rolled onto her back, pouting.

"No, don't. They're too saggy."

"They're _beautiful_," I argued gently, and for the thousandth time. Ever since she finished nursing Jack four years ago, this was an ongoing disagreement between us. Like always, she allowed me to take if off, trying to cover herself with her arm. And like always, I kissed and sucked on her neck until she was so worked up she forgot what she was embarrassed of in the first place. As if there was any basis for it. As I slid slowly into her, I whispered. "_You're_ beautiful."

I rocked over her until we came together quietly, mindful of the two sets of ears probably still wide awake down the hall, moaning into the other's mouth with our bodies slick from sweat. I rolled onto my back, taking her with me to lie across my chest.

"Now I have to go take a shower," she mumbled.

"I'll go start the water," I smiled, kissing the top of her head before walking away to the bathroom. She entered a few minutes later, her lips still swollen and her hair a curly mess. So gorgeous. I pulled her into the stall with me, still feeling the post-coital glow and grin that wouldn't leave my face.

While she was rinsing the soap from her hair, her eyes popped open suddenly. "Oh! I forgot to tell you. Angie called me today. She was contacted by some group homes and shelters in the area that heard about the Princess series. They want me to come do a reading. I think I'm going to do it, maybe take enough copies for the kids there and stuff."

"That sounds great. D'you tell Lily yet?" I asked, maneuvering around her to rinse off my face.

"Yeah. It was her idea to bring copies for the kids," she replied, and I could hear the pride in her voice.

"We've got one hell of a kid there," I stated, leaning against the tile and pulling her to me, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck, smiling. "And then there's your _darling_ son."

I shook my head at her, grinning. "You know damn well he's _your_ little darling, too."

"He tells me I'm pretty _every morning_," she protested lightly. I nodded, because I already knew that. I taught him. "But _frogs_."

Laughing, I reached over and shut off the water. As she climbed out, I smacked her ass once. "Get into bed before I check you for warts again."

She wrapped herself in a towel and started walking backwards toward the bed, a wicked grin on her face. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

With a running leap, I tackled her onto the bed.

.

**Early August 2016**

**BPOV**

"Thank you so much for coming today, Mrs. Cullen."

I smiled at the kind director of the group home I was visiting that day. "It was my pleasure, Jane. I'm so glad you contacted my agent about this. I hope you'll let me come back and do it again. And please, call me Bella."

"We would love to have you anytime you're willing, Bella. Your whole family, if you'd like. I think my kids would die to meet the people behind the characters," she smiled warmly.

"Well, Jack would probably tear the whole place down in less than five minutes, but I know Lily would like it. My husband, too," I nodded, looking around at the walls of the old house.

"Would you like a tour?" she offered kindly.

"Would that be okay?" I asked nervously. "I brought some books for the kids…"

"Are you serious?" she gasped. "Oh my goodness, they're never going to let you leave. Some of my kids here never had a present before they came."

"It was my daughter's idea, actually," I said proudly. "Let me get them out of my car and we'll start."

"I'll help you."

After we unloaded my backseat, we took an armful at a time and started walking through each room, passing out books to the kids playing within. We worked our way through the boxes until we only had one left.

"I thought…" I pursed my lips, double-checking the number in my head. "I could have sworn Angie said fourteen."

"Hmm…I bet that's my Annie. She'll be hiding around here somewhere. C'mon," she motioned for me to follow her as we walked outside, where kids were running around and playing in the backyard. "There she is."

I followed her pointed finger, not to where the kids were playing and laughing together, but to a corner in the yard, where a little girl sat alone, watching the every movement of the kids almost wistfully.

"She's painfully shy and barely talks, but she doesn't miss a thing," Jane explained, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the little girl.

"She's so tiny," I breathed.

"She's three and a half, if you can believe it," she sighed. "But malnourishment will do that to a child. Just came here two weeks ago. Dad's in jail for life, mom's on her way for drugs, rights terminated. No other family that the state was able to find. She'd be in a foster home if they had room, but they don't, so she's here for now."

Finally turning away to look at Jane, I held up the book in my hand. "Could I…? I don't want to frighten her."

She gave me a Mona Lisa smile and shook her head. "I don't think you will. I'll be inside if you need me."

Walking slowly over to her, she was attuned to my movement immediately. She watched me with wide eyes the whole way, never moving or even blinking that I could see. I stopped a few feet away from her, gazing over her little body. From her blond, wispy hair to her hazel eyes, all the way down to her cute, little pink-polished toes.

"I like your toenail polish," I offered, just to see if she'd talk to me.

She looked down at her feet, wiggling her toes a bit.

"Miss Jane."

I nodded, even though she wasn't looking at me. "Did you get to hear the story earlier?"

She nodded, her head still down.

"Did you like it?"

Again, she nodded. I moved closer to her until I could sit next to her on the ground. "Is it okay if I sit here?"

She looked up at me then, nodding. Her gaze was piercing, much more intense than a child her age should have been capable of, and I wasn't prepared for what it was doing to me to see it. I'd felt this way once before, but it had been a long, long time ago, and I didn't know what to do with it.

"I have this book for you, if you want it," I said softly, holding up the book in my hands. Her eyes widened and locked on the book, her fingers twitching slightly in her lap. "Here."

She took it immediately, clutching it to her chest. "All mine?"

I nodded, blinking back tears. "All yours. I could bring you another one, next time, if you wouldn't mind me visiting you again."

"You wanna see me?"

"I do," I nodded, trying to smile.

Her eyebrows wrinkled on her forehead and she wrinkled her nose.

"Why?"

I almost choked on a sob, but held it back. Trying to keep my voice level, I answered. "Because you remind me of a little thing I know. Only she's not so little anymore. And you're even littler than she was. You're more of a Little _Bit_, I think. But just as pretty."

"You tink I'm pwetty?"

"Oh, I know," I said firmly, my smile easier and more genuine that time.

When I left that day, I left a piece of my heart behind me.

.

**EPOV**

I crawled into bed behind Bella, spooning her to me. I was so tired after a day of kids' soccer games and celebrations that I didn't even want to bother to shower. She stirred, turning her head slightly.

"Edward?"

"Hey, baby. You went to bed early," I smiled, kissing the back of her head and settling into the pillow.

"Where're the kids? What time is it?" she slurred, her voice hoarse.

Sitting up, I looked down on her. "Lily is at Grace's for a sleepover and Jack's in bed. Are you getting sick?"

"No," she shook her head, clearing her throat. "Just tired."

Though I was concerned, I let it go. "How did the reading go?"

"It was great. I'm going to do it again next Saturday. You should come. You should see how much they love Lily's stories."

I smiled, lying back down behind her. "That'd be great. I'll be there."

.

"So through here's where the kids go to eat, and that's where I'm at most the time," Jane said with an amused smile. "Somebody's always hungry around here…And that's about it."

"It's amazing," I said, shaking my head in awe. "I don't know how you do it with this many kids."

"Well, I'm not alone and I've recently had a great new volunteer," she winked, nudging Bella with her elbow. Bella just shook her head, smiling shyly. "Would you like to start setting up the chairs and such for the reading?"

"Yeah, of course," Bella nodded, moving to follow Jane.

"Uh, Jane. Real quick, can you point me in the direction of the bathroom? I'll meet you guys back in the living room," I offered. "I can't remember if it was down this hallway or…"

"Left, left, right," she smiled, pointing and waving her directions. She and Bella walked off to get started and I followed her instructions, finding it easily. On my way back out, I was alarmed to hear some whimpering come from within one of the bedrooms. Following the sound, I found a tiny little girl crying in a corner, curled up into a ball.

"Hey now," I said softly, freezing when her head jerked up and she looked at me in alarm. "It's okay. Don't be scared. Can you tell me why you're crying?"

Her chin started quivering and her eyes filled and spilled down her cheeks.

"'C-c-c-cause I woosed my b-b-b-book!" she wailed, rubbing tiny fists in her eyes and choking on tears. Walking over to her, I crouched down and rubbed her arm gently.

"That's okay. Maybe we can get you a new one. Or maybe we'll find it if we just look for it," I tried.

"You hep me?" she asked, her sobs quieting and her eyes truly curious.

"Yeah, of course," I smiled.

"Why?"

My smile fell as I wondered what this child must have been through to not be able to understand a person caring enough about their happiness to help them.

"Well, because you're so pretty, of course."

Her eyes lit up slightly, her jaw dropping.

"You tink I'm pwetty?"

I nodded and she smiled for the first time. And she was really, _really _cute. With little dimples in her cheeks and eyes that almost seemed too large for her face. She was Bambi-caliber cute.

"She tinks I'm pwetty too."

"Who does?" I asked, confused.

"Book wady. She gabe me a book. My only book."

I inhaled deeply, looking over the little girl again. Bella had mentioned meeting a little girl that was so sweet, so innocent, too aged. She'd wanted me to meet her today and I was starting to think I just had.

"Is Book Lady pretty? With long hair?"

She nodded, her eyes shining with adoration for this Book Lady.

"I'm a Wittew Bit."

"A little bit what?"

"Her Wittew Bit."

A lump in my throat started to form as she spoke, my eyes threatening to leak any second. When she reached up and wiped away the traitor that escaped, I felt it. I knew. And I didn't know about fate or destiny, about higher beings or deities, but I did know now that there had been a reason why we weren't gifted with another child after Jack. Because if we had been, there was no telling what we might have been doing other than what we were now.

Bella had once told me that she never believed in love at first sight until she met Lily, and I had nodded and smiled, but didn't really get it. But looking at this little girl as she watched me with concern, I did finally. I understood.

Because I loved her.

Sitting down on the floor in front of her, I breathed out slowly to control my emotions. My eyes serious but a smile on my face, I asked her.

"Well, Little Bit. I just need to know one _very_ important thing. How do you feel about frogs?"

* * *

**The End. Again. **

**New Story: Remember Me begins Monday September 27. Fluff and drama, no angst. M for language, limes, and a lemon. Summary on my profile page. **

**You can follow me at isakassees on Twitter. I'm absolutely hopeless, and can never figure out how to work it, but from time to time I'm able to drop some knowledge. : )**

**Thank you all for reading. Very, very much.  
**


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